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ALIEN-STOWAWAY (posted on: 16-03-12)
SHORT STORY BASED ON THE ALIEN FRANCHISE. THINKING OF MAKING THIS INTO A NOVEL. Si:)

CHAPTER 1 ESS Elsbrig drifted slowly through the inky blackness, her faster than light drive was cold and the impulse drives shut down. The onboard computer detected a problem with the flow rates-diagnostics, had checked and re-checked, and had decided, for safety's sake, to shut down the trans-drive unit. The glowing bubble of faster than light energy that engulfed the ship disappeared in a blink of an eye, or it would have if anybody was around to witness the event. Once out of hyper-space, onboard computers tackled the errant drive problem, backup systems and redundant circuits hummed into life as digital bits of information darted through dormant pathways. But with all this technology, the computer came up with one thing, over and over again: COMPUTER DIAGNOSTIC #1200002 ESS ELSBRIG-SERIAL # 985565-D TRANS-DRIVE UNIT FAULT BLOCKAGE IN STARBOARD VENT PORT The computer had chewed this over and arrived at the only conclusion it could, it dropped out of hyper-space and activated the sleep chambers. Technology was great, but in this circumstance it needed a hands-on approach, something that the computer was sorely lacking. John Harrow sighed, the sound heavy in his ears. He wrinkled his nose, wishing that he could scratch it. Luckily the thermo-sensors had kept up a steady cooling temperature, meaning that sweat wasn't an issue - only his damned nose itching. Squirming his way out of the airlock, he hated suit time, bulky and awkward. He turned his head inside the large dome of the Kleer-Steel helmet, lights bathing his features with a green hue that indicated that the suit's cooling, pressure and, more importantly, life support were all working as they should. With a large gloved hand, he clipped a oversized clip onto a 'u' point on the lip of the lock and, satisfied that the auto-reel tether was secure, he pushed off from the side of the ship. ''John, you read me buddy?'' Harrow cocked his head as the headset earpiece sprang to life. ''Yeah, I read you, Morgan,'' he replied to the unseen owner of the voice. ''Where are you, I can't see you?'' Straining his head back and forth, he tried to catch a visual of his friend. ''Just by the aft high-gain. Hang on and I'll drift out,'' came a nasally reply. Morgan Brig depressed a small button on his left lower arm, suit jets fired and he was propelled forward. He hit another button and jets on his suit's front panel fired to halt the momentum. Morgan was a thickset man, in his late sixties and had been brought up on the freighter since he was a kid. In fact he had no choice: his father had owned the Elsbrig (a name derived from his mother's first name and his surname) and she was used in the evacuation of Earth. Those times were burned into his mind: the frightened mass of people, clambering to get a space, to get them away from the hellish creatures that roamed their home world. The faces of those left behind as the Colonial Marines closed ranks and aimed their guns at the people. He watched as the ramp slowly closed - men, women and children weeping, begging, then silence. He turned then and wept. That was such a long time ago. The Alien hordes that had infested Earth had nearly been wiped out by a network of nuclear weapons. He could never remember the name of this network. It had been on the news. It had destroyed vast numbers of the beasts, along with the Queen Mother Alien, brought from another world in some daring escapade. It had taken time, three or four months, for the Mother to call her offspring to her from far and wide. Then the bombs detonated. Clean-up crews scoured the Earth for nests and wiped them out. People had returned to the ravaged planet and started to rebuild. Ships like the Elsbrig had begun to be used for what she was intended again: freight - vast quantities of raw materials shipped from other colonies, safe colonies. And this problem with a blocked vent was something that Captain Morgan Brig didn't like. Time was an issue, deadlines had to be made and money was at stake. Morgan drifted from the side of the high-gain array and spied his colleague waving at him. He waved back and smiled. John Harrow was forty-three years old, thin and spindly. They had both met on Luna base just after the Earth evacuation and he had taken John under his wing. Both of John's parents had been killed and his father had taken John and treated him as if he was another son. He had graduated with honours in engineering while at Luna and had taken up the position of chief engineer on the Elsbrig. Like Morgan, John loved the old tin can and was probably more vexed as to the cause of the problem. ''You know, Morg. I just don't get it. How the hell can we get a blocked vent, out here?'' Harrow's brow wrinkled as he mused. ''Yeah, I hear you. Makes no sense,'' his companion replied. Both men ignited their suit jets and gracefully joined one another, the auto-reel tethers silently unwound, snaking behind the two suited figures. In the silence of space, they moved as one towards the offending vent. Small puffs of propellant formed tiny crystals as the jets pushed them along the length of the ship. Heard only in the helmets of the two men, the thrusters once again fired to bring them to a stop by the wide black cavern that housed the starboard vent. One of the men aimed a powerful torch at the surrounding area. ''I don't see any scouring or damaged plates. Doesn't look like dust or particular matter. I don't get it... the trans-warp field is supposed to deflect any small amounts of debris away. Can't be external - computer's got it wrong, must be a glitch or internal.'' The powerful beam played across the surface, casting dark shadows in the depth of the housing. ''All I can think of is that a small chunk of rock managed to get through and made a direct hit on the vent screen,'' Morgan replied. ''Hmmm, a billion to one on that call, Morg,'' Harrow chided. He wasn't convinced and it carried in his voice. ''Well, yeah, but I like bad odds,'' his partner said humorously. Harrow smiled as he moved closer to the vent opening, his gloved hand slowly extending until he touched the outer lip. ''Well, only one way to be sure... Wish me luck.'' ''Good luck.'' Morgan played his own light on the opening as Harrow slid into the depths. CHAPTER 2 The vent opening was enormous and acted as a thermal regulator for the giant WY-525 TD engines. This was old technology for an old ship. The new star-ships could go a lot faster, but the old 525s served their purpose. Morgan had contracts with both civilian agencies and the military. They paid well and he had enough money saved to update the engines. Problem was, while his ship was out of commission, those contracts may go to other contractors. Maybe one day he would retire and sell her on. One day yeah right. So, for now, the Elsbrig and her engines were patched up and lovingly tended by Harrow. ''You okay in there?'' Morgan asked as his companion diminished into the gloom. Harrow's torch played off the smooth alloy sides as he moved deeper into the abyss. Morgan's own beam highlighted the boots and backpack as the figure slowly moved into the bowels of the vent. ''Yeah, fine. Can't see anything. No sign of damage. I 'm at the first screen. Looks intact.'' Gloved hands caressed the tough metal of the vent screen. ''Give me a few minutes to check the whole thing.'' Harrow said as he started in one corner, his light slowly moving as he examined the mesh. ''Righto,'' came the reply. Both men fell silent as one searched the vent while the other gazed towards the stars. Morgan loved to stare at these pinpricks of light in the vastness of black. To him it was peaceful, relaxing. Although around some of those light points worlds had been found, worlds with creatures that devoured men or worse. He shuddered in his suit. He had never seen it himself, but had heard the stories of people cocooned in slime and impregnated - living hosts, nurturing the devils' offspring, unable to help themselves, only to feel the creature moving inside until... A muffled sound in Morgan's earpiece grabbed him back from stargazing. The auto-reel tether that emerged from the opening danced before him, in slow up and down strokes. ''John, you okay pal?'' Concern crept into his voice. ''Something...'' Harrow was breathing hard. ''Something... in... here...'' Gasping sounds pounded into Morgan's ear. ''Oh, my God! Pull me out! Pull me out!'' The urgency in John's voice startled Morgan. He made a grab for the tether line and missed. ''What is it, John? What have you found?'' he urged, his voice rising slightly. ''Arghhhhhhh... It's got me... Get...'' The scream and panic in the voice galvanised Morgan into action. ''Use your tether line and suit thrusters...'' He tried again to grab the tether and, this time, his gloved hand caught hold. He started to reel in his friend. The screaming had stopped, yet a hissing sound continued in his ear. Air. Harrow must have a busted suit, caught it on the mesh somehow, thought Morgan as he pulled the line hand over hand. CHAPTER 3 The Alien had been picked up from their last port of call. Although the Elsbrig was built for atmospheric landings, most of her business was conducted using spaceports. This time, her primary destination from Sol was the orbiting station around a planet called GM-989 or more locally known as 'Stinker'. Stinker was an immense gas giant orbiting a slightly reddish star. It was one of six planets in the system, but only this one was of any value. The orbiting station housed more than four thousand personnel - engineers, maintenance, dredger pilots, hospital staff, bar keeps, families. They toiled away, day and night. Dredger pilots scoured the boiling surface for the rich gases, these gases, in turn, were processed by the station's plants into all manner of gases that ended in 'ane' and 'gen'. One gas was rinane, a very important gas in the development of new star-drives. This gas allowed drive systems to operate at super-cool temperatures, meaning, in short, that they are more reliable and far more cost-effective. This was one reason that this expensive refinery orbiting around the planet was commissioned. The other was that a by-product of all this gas distillation were compounds of gold, silver and platinum. The company spared no expense in making sure that the people who lived and worked here had everything they could need. Supply ships ran non-stop. Freighters ran non-stop. Personnel were contracted for a five year tour of duty and paid handsomely for their efforts. Winners all round. Research vessels had surveyed the other worlds and found nothing of real interest: mineral deposits and more gas, but nothing to justify spending more money on these worlds. The 'skimmers', as the dredger pilots liked to be known, thought different and some hired ships to go scouting. Not only would they have a large pay packet waiting for them at the end of their duty, but the thoughts of getting hold of some minerals, maybe precious, was just too much of a temptation. One such ship for hire was the Cheeky Bird (named after the parrot of a former captain), a tug, privately owned and contracted by the company to help shift the containers of gas and by-products to the waiting freighters. On down-time, the captain made a few extra credits by hiring it and himself out to treasure hunters. The Cheeky Bird now lay opposite the Elsbrig, silent. She had returned on 'auto' after a trip to one of the outer planets. Not that unusual, as the captain often did this, normally due to the fact that he and his customers got plastered on cheap booze. The company and security turned a blind eye as long as it didn't happen on work time. Nobody bothered the tug and they would leave them to sober up. The captain would then disembark his clients. Maybe they got lucky this time? They didn't. You would have thought that with all the other tugs and dredgers darting about, somebody would have noticed the airlock had been opened. On closer inspection, the door was not intact - an immense force had pushed from the inside and then wrenched it open. The Alien had found the men from the Cheeky Bird. It had stowed away on their vessel, attacking when they had lifted off. Some instinct, some survival technique, made the creature understand what the thing that landed was. It knew it could use it to escape the confines of the world upon which it had lived and spread its own kind to further far-off places. Survival of the species was all that mattered. When the vessel had slowed and finally come to rest, the Alien waited. Nobody came, so it looked for ways out. It remembered the airlock through which it had entered, knew it was a gateway. It explored the alloy and the lights that twinkled in a panel. It had no sense of 'button pushing', it understood nothing of technology. It used what it had, strength. It hammered on the door again and again. It didn't notice the hiss of escaping air rushing past it as the outer door seal gave way. With inhuman strength, its clawed hands gripped the edge and pushed. The toughened alloy protested in the runners as it was shoved in a way its designers had never envisioned. The Alien made a gap just wide enough for its form to slip through. No point in expended energy on wasteful efforts. The creature balanced on the edge of the airlock frame, one arm outstretched, the other still holding onto the door. Its banana-shaped head moved slowly from side to side, studying the strange surroundings with inhuman senses. It opened its mouth and spittle instantly froze on metallic, silver teeth. Like a coiled spring, it launched itself away from the tug and out into the vacuum of space. With both arms outstretched, it glided towards the waiting Elsbrig. With the grace of a ballet dancer, it twisted itself as it bounced against the hull. Skittering slightly, it shot out an arm and grabbed at some external machinery. It moved that obscene head and found the vent opening. CHAPTER 4 Morgan pulled on the tether line, his breathing coming in great gasps as he sucked hard on the bottled air. He watched as Harrow's torch swung in lazy circles, its light flashing like a beacon as the beam disappeared behind the body of the now quiet spaceman. ''Jeez... John... what... the... hell... have... you... done?'' He cursed the other man between clenched teeth. ''Help... me... buddy... cut... in... your... auto... tether,'' he gasped as he struggled to pull Harrow's comatose body towards the entrance. It never dawned on Morgan that the reason why Harrow's body seemed so heavy to pull is that something was attached, something black, something big, something with teeth that didn't want to let go of its prize. The Alien had been curled up in a state of suspended animation. The harsh coldness of space and the lack of atmosphere didn't bother it. Scientists had reports that stated that the Xenos could exist in a hard vacuum for lengths of time and that one had actually been observed to curl into a ball and drift away into the depths of space. This Alien was lucky. Although they could hibernate for a long time in the vastness of space, they would eventually die, but the heat that escaped from the vent had kept the Alien warm enough to stop even its amazing acidic blood from freezing. So, it had had crawled into the vent, using its talons to open the mesh, and slipped inside to sleep and wait. Even the throb of the trans-warp drive hadn't bothered it. But the presence of prey did. John Harrow was dead, his suit ripped by the creatures clutching claws, his helmet visor, tougher than two inches of hull plate, had cracked like a chicken's egg as the inner set of teeth shot out at lightning speed to smash and impale. Blood and brains flowed freely until the suit's heating system could no longer cope and the harsh environment found its way into the helmet. They froze into dark globs that floated around and out of the broken faceplate. Morgan sweated in his helmet. He could feel it running down the side of his head. The snoopy cap he wore was soaked on his forehead. The suit's coolers struggled to keep him comfortable. It wasn't just the exertion, but the panic, the not knowing what had happened to his friend. Add to that the fear that the drive engines where unfixable and that he could be on his own for a long time and the terror slowly started to take hold. Harrow's booted feet appeared, then slowly his legs and backpack. Morgan carried on pulling on the tether so that more of his comrade came out of the vent opening. As the body cleared the opening, Morgan saw the suit material on the shoulders was torn, but they didn't look like rents from catching on broken mesh. They looked evenly spaced like knife blades gouging and scratching. Finally, the helmet hove into view and Morgan stared, wide-eyed, at what was left of John Harrow's head. ''Oh, my God...'' Morgan instinctively pushed away slightly from the opening and its macabre scene. This action saved his life, for following the deceased spaceman came a toothy vision of hell. The Alien had sensed the presence of more prey and had hung onto the corpse as it slid slowly along the vent. Now it sensed that fresh meat was close and it lunged from the darkness. The backward movement of the man meant that the slashing claws and gnashing teeth missed him by inches. Morgan's reflex action was to jump further away. This he did, jumping right off the hull of the Elsbrig. The Alien turned as it floated past, its inner jaws snaking out and small sets of teeth snapping silently. With inhuman reflexes, it twisted and caught hold of a series of pipework that protruded from the hull. It squatted there and appeared to glower at the figure that was slowly drifting away from the ship. Morgan stared at the abhorrence before him, an Alien on his ship. It couldn't be. Nothing made sense. His head hurt from the many scenarios that pounded through his cortex. He couldn't think. His breathing increased and he started to hyperventilate. At two hundred yards away from the ship, his auto-reel tether snapped firm, the slight pull yanked not only his body but also his mind. He had to do something. He forced himself to slow his breathing. He focused his eyes on the creature. It hadn't moved. What to do? He couldn't stay outside for ever. His suit tanks had three hours of air, maximum. He had to get inside, somehow. His mind had cleared and thoughts fixed themselves together to form a plan. A plan he hoped would work. His hand moved slowly towards the auto-reel tether unit on his belt. He rummaged around for the button and pressed it. The tether became taut as it slowly reeled in the excess cord. He was slowly making his way back towards the ship. The Alien also spotted this and leaped from the pipework towards the anchor point to which the tether was fastened. ''Come on you sonofabitch, take the line. Come and get me.'' Morgan snarled as the creature clutched at the hull plating, its strong arms and claws somehow making purchase on the alloy. It moved down towards the tether and, with what appeared to Morgan a perception of glee, the Alien cocked its head to one side and opened that mouth into an evil smile. It sprang on to the tether. The momentum made the tether bow in the middle, Alien going one way, Morgan rising above it. All the time, the auto-reel tether was silently dragging the demon towards him. He watched as the Alien eyelessly looked at him, snarled and then started to move, hand over hand, across the tether. It moved with remarkable speed. He let it get to within fifty feet before hitting the suit jets. He was propelled past the Alien and towards the hull. The Alien spun around in a loop as the man shot by, the tether arching, and, at that exact moment, he released the tether from his belt. He had to get to the tether anchor point quick, but he was going too fast. Too fast. Morgan hit the front thrusters and he clattered into the hull in a cloud of frozen propellant. His gloved hands sought purchase on the hull, his left hand extending towards the anchor point. He willed himself to reach it. The track on the tether had started to snake back towards the ship. The Alien opened its mouth in an angry snarl and, once again, it started to pull itself down the length of the tether. Morgan turned and watched as the Alien tried to scramble back towards him. It was hard going, despite the speed and agility of the animal. The tether snaked and shifted beneath those powerful hands. Sooner or later, those hands would be reaching out for Morgan. He strained, holding his breath, and he tried to shift himself so that he could grab hold of the tether. With a super-human effort, he managed to unlock it. He turned and threw the tether out towards the Alien. The creature was still a hundred yards away, snarling and twisting. Yet he noticed that it was slowly making its way back towards the ship. Tilting his helmet, his eyes fell upon the frozen body of Harrow. Using all his strength he righted himself. Reaching down, he depressed the thrusters' control button and shot upwards. A few bursts of opposite thrust and he glided next to the remains of his friend. Morgan kept his eyes away from the shattered helmet as he manhandled the bulky suit into position. A quick glance showed him that the Alien was only fifty yards from the Elsbrig. He unhooked the tether line from Harrow's belt and aimed the body towards to the creature. Now only thirty yards away, he checked the trajectory and hit the button on Harrow's sleeve. The backpack sprang to life and John's body spiralled away from Morgan and the ship. The Alien sensed what was happening and tried to twist away. John hit the creature full on, knocking the monster from the ship's hull. Both man and beast span in opposite directions for several rotations before separating and drifting apart in space. The Alien clawed and thrashed futilely, its deadly form slowly receding into infinity. Morgan waited until they had disappeared from view before bidding his friend a final, silent farewell and made his way back to the airlock. As he entered, he turned and took one last look at the stars. Peaceful and relaxing he had always thought. Not any more. THE END Simon Murphy 2012
Archived comments for ALIEN-STOWAWAY
orangedream on 16-03-2012
ALIEN-STOWAWAY
Hi there, Eddie...long time no talk to. I hope things are OK with you;-)

Sci-Fi - not my usual cup of tea, but I thought I would give this one a whirl, and to my suprise, I enjoyed it, very much. Had great fun trying to visualise the Alien, with its 'banana-shaped head' and all;-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina.

Thank you for commenting, glad you liked it.

Things are on and off, I am suffering with my eyes, though not too bad at the moment. My joints and hands are causing me issues like mad at the moment. Still plonding. Is everything okay with you?

I shall try and get on more, keep saying that and don't...but I really shall.

Take care and thank you for reading.

Si:)

e-griff on 20-03-2012
ALIEN-STOWAWAY
Belated Hi as well, young Si. welcome indeed me old fruit ... 🙂

Author's Reply:


ALONE (posted on: 01-08-11)
A lost love.

Swaying, slightly....back and forth, a reed playing in the wind. Eyes congested with tears scamper free to the echo of the river. Remembering. Thoughts tap like Firefly Morse-code igniting a memory...briefly. As the old Alder bows to drown itself , saddened by my presence. I move away. Already lost my love, I wish not to see another in despair. Simon Murphy 2011.
Archived comments for ALONE
RachelLW on 01-08-2011
ALONE
I love the idea of the morse code thoughts and the image of the Alder bowing its head. One thing though that loses me is where I can't quite connect to the images created - an echoing river, for example, or tears scampering. I know the truth is stretchy - it's poetry afterall, but there's a bit of me that thinks that the elastic can only stretch so far - my tears don't scamper. Perhaps it's a personal thing? But for me, a change of words here and there would improve this immeasurably, particularly bearing in mind the subject matter - it's easy to slip to cheesy from sentimental. I like the fact that it's a short snapshot about loss using images of the natural world as a reflection - something I love. I think this could be a lovely piece with an edit.

Rachel 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hello Rachel, most kind to comment. A lost love is not always a person, this is a piece about a dog, hence the scamper. Thin I know lol!

Thanks again for taking an interest.

Si:)

stormwolf on 05-08-2011
ALONE
Hi Eddy I think it would be better broken into shorter lines but that's just my personal prference.
I see what you said to rachel so maybe a comma after tears would help?
Nice to see you posting
Alison x

Author's Reply:


BELL OF THE BALL. (posted on: 01-08-11)
Just a small piece about a girl...or a bell...or both. Bit of nonsense.

Harmony, on par with strident heart- a faction of united cause. Swaying with carillon tunes that spiral- higher and higher unto heaven. Harmony, leave your idiophone number- and I shall call-'ding-dong'. Yours. L. Philips. Simon Murphy 2011.
Archived comments for BELL OF THE BALL.
franciman on 01-08-2011
BELL OF THE BALL.
Hi Simon,

I like this though not entirely sure why. I think it resonates like a mobile phone jingle.

Cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Cheers Jim, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:)

Ionicus on 01-08-2011
BELL OF THE BALL.
I don't think that this will ring a bell with people who are not familiar with Leslie Phillips and his catchphrase.

Author's Reply:
LOL, I think you're right Luigi, thanks for commenting.

Si:)

Andrea on 04-08-2011
BELL OF THE BALL.
Ah, a true gent, that Mr Phillips. Nice to see you posting again, Si...

Author's Reply:


OPTIC-DRUSEN (posted on: 09-05-11)
A little poem about my eye problem.

OPTIC-DRUSEN ODD or ONHD- more like OMD. Orchestral flashes streak like meteors ablaze within a gelatinous atmosphere. Manoeuvres of calcifying mucoprotiens remnants of a axonal transport system. Dark floaters dislodge to taunt and tease, here, there, to chase for ever and ever. Waiting for the day when Enola Gay, will drop off the little boy. Simon Murphy 2011. ODD-Optic disc drusen. ONHD-Optic nreve head drusen.
Archived comments for OPTIC-DRUSEN
barenib on 09-05-2011
OPTIC-DRUSEN
I had to do a bit of looking up on this one, so it's educated me and given me food for thought as well. From what I read, the worst doesn't always happen by any means, so I pray this isn't the case for you. Thanks for an interesting read - John.

Author's Reply:
Hi John, many thanks for taking the time to read.



If the final stages are bad for me then so be it, can't stop it, just got to get on with it.



It was after I had read about my condition, and the symptoms that I have that the poem was born.



Was going to leave out the last part regarding, Enola Gay, but it tied the OMD song theme with symptoms and the chance of a unhappy ending.



Glad you enjoyed reading.



Si:)

Zoya on 10-05-2011
OPTIC-DRUSEN
Dear John,
It requires a lot of courage to make light of your serious problems, and you have done it beautifully!
I always admire, nay revere, people who can rise above their problems to produce such gems of creativity, that you always do!
I salute you!
Love, and all the rest of it!
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya, thanking you for the kind words.

But, I not be John...I be Si lol!

Glad you enjoyed it and for taking the time to read and leave a comment.

Take care.

Si:)

stormwolf on 10-05-2011
OPTIC-DRUSEN
Hi Si
It is very hard to live with something that is not only incurable but also unpredictable. Your poem highlights a bravery and stoicsm and I wish you all the best.
Alison x
(congrats on the nib)

Author's Reply:
Hi Alison, many thanks for the congrats and the 9, most apprciated.

I hardly write anymore as, my eyes cause me issues when trying to concentrate, I have joint issues aso typing is a pain and, to be honest, I have lost that poet spark. I sturuggle to piece it together, they are either crap...or just disjointed. Then, I cannot be bothered to go back to them.

I should get back in to it, I did enjoy this one, had that 'writing tingle'. I am not that bothered about my condition as I cannot change it, you live through it...but the juices flowed...slightly lol...and it fell into place. Maybe it could be tighter or structured better but it will do for me 🙂

Thanking you again for the time taken to read it.

Si:)

RoyBateman on 10-05-2011
OPTIC-DRUSEN
I can't say that I enjoyed this, Si, because of its content. I'm certainly impressed by it, though - your way of dealing with something that, I admit, I knew nothing about is above praise. What more can I say...I wondered why we'd not heard so much from you lately but I never realised the true reason. I hope the spark returns, if only fitfully, as I know how much writing means to you. I know this will sound a bit daft coming from someone of my age, but here goes anyway - respect.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy, long time mate.

Funny one isn't it, not an enoying piece for sure.

But I can still drive (try not to go out at night) and do things-got other health issues to, hence my decline in writing.

I no longer work at the school anymore, although I am a lolllipop man 🙂

There is a good 60 to 80% that I will loose all peripheral vision in both eyes, and in some cases it can cause blindness...that could be months or years away, so not worried.

I was listening to Enola Gay by OMD and it suddenly hit me, I could fit my problem around the band name and tune.

Thanks again Roy for reading.

And don;t be too disheartened by the piece, after all, poetry and stories are about everything. I found joy again in writting this little ditty due to my complaint 🙂 I may not write another for months lol.

Si:)






Zoya on 11-05-2011
OPTIC-DRUSEN
I am extremely SORRY Si, for this terrible faux-pas!
I don't know, what I was preoccupied with?
I hope you get back your magic touch and continue writing?
All the best!
Love,
Zoya


Author's Reply:

Romany on 22-05-2011
OPTIC-DRUSEN
Sounds awful Si, and you have described it very vividly. I hope putting it down on paper as it were, helped in some way.

Great to see you back and posting. I have been something of a stranger myself lately.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sue, sorry I am late in replying.

It has it's moments with my eyes, although due to age they have changed slightly so now have a different prescription 🙂 This has made things slightly easier.

I see many folk have left or are hardly posting now, poetry does seem to go though fazes and a slow one seems to be upon us. Still some newbies are on, well newbies to me lol!

Take care and thanking you for commenting.

Si:)



I feel I have nothing more to offer. (posted on: 08-10-10)
Think the end is just a sub away...

I have sat for countless hours- staring at a mocking monitor. Reading fellow works I realise with atomic bomb clarity- my poems be dull. Dim as the blue that this proliferate cloud of nothing blocks out. So sodding long have I been dead that nothing can stir my sleeping poetry-no handsome prince to charge my spirit and deliver the all important kiss of imagination. Dead of mind and of courage... ...maybe this is my last. Amen. Simon Murphy 2010.
Archived comments for I feel I have nothing more to offer.
Romany on 08-10-2010
I feel I have nothing more to offer.
I don't think so Si! You're not dead, you're just reawakening. Give it time (and less of the Amens too, if you please!)

Romany.

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 08-10-2010
I feel I have nothing more to offer.
Oh chin up Si, we all have these times regularly believe me, I do. You couldn't have expressed yourself as well if you were done, in fact you wouldn't have been able to at all. Relax and let it come back naturally. Good luck Valx

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 08-10-2010
I feel I have nothing more to offer.
It happens to all of us, Si. We read something by other authors and we are in awe of what they have produced. Our work seems puny in comparison. I actually like your cry from the heart, it has a certain kind of poignancy. I don't know what you think but I would split the lines of the following stanza thus:
'So sodding long have I been dead
that nothing can stir my sleeping poetry-
no handsome prince to charge my spirit
and deliver the all important kiss
of imagination.'
There is nothing wrong in the way you express your feelings so
'sursum corda' (lift your heart) young Si.


Author's Reply:

Michel on 08-10-2010
I feel I have nothing more to offer.
I like the clever cloud image, and
the funny stanza about the prince -
a great deal is said in fresh words.

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 10-10-2010
I feel I have nothing more to offer.
Si, I think that by even recognising that we go through bleak patches sometime - all of us, I'm sure - you're well on the way to getting kick-started again. At least you care, that's the main thing! Even if it's angry, get writing!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 09-05-2011
I feel I have nothing more to offer.
Cheers guys for the comments, appriciate it.

I thought this was a load of poo but the poem isn't that bad, not great...but okay 😉

I tinker now and again so will try and get some more written.

Take care.

Si:)

Author's Reply:

Munster on 19-12-2011
I feel I have nothing more to offer.
Hi just reading your poem, someone once told me write your heart out when you can as its not a dripping tap and how right those words were.
I tend to write only in positive or negative humour, never managed the in between

Tony

Author's Reply:


AGONY AUNT (posted on: 04-10-10)
Do you have a family member that drives you mad... This is just a bit of fun. I am slowly trying to get back into writing from being away two years so it maybe...well...crap lol!

A ecstasy, joy, elation if you will- of the woman. One figure amongst many, enthused, almost floating between iron barriers- a mini 'Berlin Wall' patrolled by Hi-Viz demons- their soulless eyes mirroring peoples misery. From beyond this citadel immense gratification spills over into toothy grin as she leaves to a cacophony of whistles and halers. "Pardon me boy, is that the pain in the arse choo-choo?" I head for home safe for another year. Simon Murphy 2010.
Archived comments for AGONY AUNT
pdemitchell on 05-10-2010
AGONY AUNT
Hi Si - this has such great imagery - Hi-Viz demons - whistlers and hailers? but it feels terribly disjointed and fails to get up a head of steam - like a worthy work in progress and the 'pardon me sir, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes' line didn't work fer me, sorry, Si! But reworked with a bit more TLC, sourpus Sis, umbrage uncle, grumpy gran, braccia bruv and a little smother-mothering it'll be amazing. Keep posting, dude! Cheerz mitch

Author's Reply:


ACCEPTANCE! (posted on: 04-10-10)
This follows on from Are We Writers...thrusting the stuff onto others and needed acceptance.

You asked not for my expression. Yet, devoid of your feelings, I gave. Rhyme is forced by selfish voyeur- a peeping-tom who needs emotional gratification before the next write can commence Comment please, good or bad or this versifier becomes impotent. Simon Murphy 2010.
Archived comments for ACCEPTANCE!
Corin on 04-10-2010
ACCEPTANCE!
Now Tom you may write again. I am glad that you are devoid of my feelings at this time.

David

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 05-10-2010
ACCEPTANCE!
keep that quill wiggling, Big Si! 🙂

Author's Reply:

pdemitchell on 05-10-2010
ACCEPTANCE!
Hi Si - not sure of this. People write for a whole variety of reasons from catharsis to a need to leave at least one faint scratch in the sand before clog-poppin' time. Some for acceptance, some to incite, some for pleasure, some for slight. Sparks a debate, though - me, I'm completely OCD, see? Keep on posting, dude! Mitch 🙂

Author's Reply:


ARE WE WRITERS? (posted on: 04-10-10)
As the title suggests.

To stand in a fire is stupid, unless you're the flame. Riding the sea crests is foolish, without a boat. Soaring amongst the angels suicidal, if devoid of wings. So why prostate our work to others unless we are accepted as a writer? Simon Murphy 2010.
Archived comments for ARE WE WRITERS?
pdemitchell on 05-10-2010
ARE WE WRITERS?
Hi Si - why do anything, eh? Confidence is the key as I told those pesky Wright brothers - that reminds me I'd better get me prost(r)ate checked! A thoughtful musing indeedy. Cheers mitch 🙂

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 07-10-2010
ARE WE WRITERS?
Why indeed, Si - the eternal question... In the end, we have to accept our own judgment, I suppose - these things are subjective, not absolute. If you're satisfied, the rest of us should be too.

Author's Reply:


F.O (posted on: 01-10-10)
Sick of the person inside... This is a oldie, been sat to submit for 2 years!

Why do you insist in shouting when you are the owner of a soundproofed mouth? Gagged on muted expression that all others have come to ignore-deaf to your mewling of wants and desires. Tired of your frantic attempts to gain attention- I now answer for all FUCK OFF! Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for F.O
e-griff on 01-10-2010
F.O
*reads merrily*

*enjoys poem*

*thinks 'good stuff, Si*

*gets to end*

Oh!

*leaves*

Author's Reply:
LOL, sorry John, this is a piece of inner conflict. When I managed to remember my password I saw this piece sitting there awaiting to be subbed, so thought I may as well.

It was that long ago I cannot remember how I was feeling-not good by the looks of it:)

I haven't written anything else since 🙁

Thank you for reading and I will leave the latch off in case you wish to return.

Si:)

stormwolf on 01-10-2010
F.O
Hello Simon
I feel the ending was meant to encompass the rest of the short poem and was deliberately 'shocking' if that is the word.
A brief expression of exasperation and sealed the poem well to me 😉
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanking you Alison for reading and commenting.

I suppose the end is a shock tatic...just one of them spontanious shouting out aloud to trapped feelings.

Thanks again.

Si:)

Bradene on 01-10-2010
F.O
I remeber that time Si and you were indeed in turmoil, so I'll forgive the last line of a good poem. Hope you start writing again soon Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val, forgivness is what I need...naughty I be lol!

Why this has been given a great read I have no idea, far better works in the offing IMO.

But still nice to see and read familiar faces and styles, although I am scared as to how I may be accepted by newbies to me. I have noticed a few oldies that have gone-Little-ditty, Orangedream etc. Time stands still for no man.

Thanking you again Val for your time and for welcoming me back. I cannot promise to be writting loads again as I still have my eye issue and I am now carer for my parents and looks like I could be getting joint/muscle issues-maybe Fibromyalga (spelt wrong i think)-my mother suffers from this.

Si:)

Ionicus on 01-10-2010
F.O
Your frustration comes through loud and clear and there is no mistaking the final line.
Oddily enough, when I read it, the first thing that came into my mind was the catchphrase in the comedy 'Sorry' with Ronnie Corbett:
"Language, Timothy!".
Cheer up.

Author's Reply:
LOL, thanks for reading and commenting Luigi.

Funny thing is my poems do seem the best when there is a tinge of sadness to them, although I do feel it...strange.

Si:)

RoyBateman on 03-10-2010
F.O
It's good to see you around again, Si - though naturally I hope that you come through the obvious stresses that caused this cri de coeur. Knowing that it's genuine and not just a passing mood makes it all the more disturbing for those of us who hope that things get better for you in future, not worse. I'm sure we all agree on that! Yes, quite a few well-known names have vanished over the past year or so, but let's hope that - like you - they pop back and get back into the writing thing. All the best, mate - I hope your muse makes a speedy return!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Ta for reading and commenting.

This is a old piece-I still have my eye problems and maybe having issues with my joints, especially my arms. Just trying to get on with it. I was down in the dumps for a while, my eyes are still painful at times hence I don't spend ages online. I stopped writing full stop (pardon the pun) not a sausage. No creativity, bugger all-but, I shall endevour to publish more drivel for you good folk lol!

Si:)

sunken on 03-10-2010
F.O
Hello Eddie. This reminds me of a loudmouth fella I used to work with named Richard. I called him Dick - not because Dick is short for Richard, but because he was a dick. I turn a deaf ear to loud people. It's often the quiet ones who have more interesting stuff to say. Ya just gotta get the loudmouths outta the room first so ya can hear them. Well done on the nib. Good to see ya back.

s
u
n
k
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n

don't talk to me about pancakes

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk, nice to say hello again.

Thank you for liking this and for the welcome back.

I have missed your nonsense...it made me smile.

Have them pancakes being naughty my friend, do you want me to sort them out?

Si:)






Corin on 04-10-2010
F.O
Good ending Eddie - is this directed at yourself? I thought not at first but if so it makes the ending even better.

David

Author's Reply:
Hi David, they last line is directed at me-this is a old piece when times (still are I suppose) where difficult.

Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

Si:)


ONE SALAD TOO MANY. (posted on: 04-08-08)
Summer salads can be a real killer...

The chair lies abandoned twisted, askew from the dinning table- its symmetry allied with the forlorn, greenery, that seems to pale like your face- unlike the blood that spreads silently, sweetly smelling to mingle with the polish of the hardwood floor. The forgotten fork seems hopelessly mislaid, devoid of its companion that protrudes- an accusing finger of steel from your heart. I feel for the fork but not for me and especially for you. Tis the last time you smirk and mock, mock and smirk. And the last time you say all I can cook is salad. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for ONE SALAD TOO MANY.
SugarMama34 on 04-08-2008
ONE SALAD TOO MANY.
Hey Si,

Another good poem with good imagery. An eerie feel to this one and a mcking voice of the narrator that comes through so well. Great twist in the tale too, unusual, but how I like it. The ending did not disappoint me. I will never look at salad in the same way again.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:


I WISH I COULD SEE (posted on: 04-08-08)
To see you...

I wish I could see. The flame that lights your soul, waves that thunder onto your shore of desire and the sunlight that skips upon cloudy dreams. I wish I could see. The real you. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for I WISH I COULD SEE
SugarMama34 on 04-08-2008
I WISH I COULD SEE
Hi Si,

A thought provoking piece this, even though it is short, but it does the trick for me. A lovely creative piece of writing with some great imagery to boot! I have read this afew times now and the more I read it the more I love it.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 04-08-2008
I WISH I COULD SEE
Hello Mr. Si. I thought your eye probs had got seriously worse there for a sec. A sweet pome and no mistake. I bet the ukanettes will especially like this. You silver tongued rascal. Hope your eyes are better by the way.

s
u
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k
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allergic to sharon osbourne

Author's Reply:

teifii on 05-08-2008
I WISH I COULD SEE
Lovely. Says so much in basically one verse. Seems odd to quote a favourite bit from so little but
'sunlight
that skips upon cloudy dreams.' is really beautiful.
Daff

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 05-08-2008
I WISH I COULD SEE
I agree with Daff, Si. You have said so much with these few, carefully chosen words. Just lovely!

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 05-08-2008
I WISH I COULD SEE
Short and sweet, Si. A good one.

Author's Reply:

Rupe on 05-08-2008
I WISH I COULD SEE
Works very well. Very brief and effective. I even wondered if you needed the last couple of lines - since they're implied in the earlier lines. Not sure though. Good stuff.

Rupe

Author's Reply:

Munster on 11-10-2008
I WISH I COULD SEE
Hi Si, just read your poem from weeks back, just back on the site, nice poem, hope you are well.

Tony

Author's Reply:


CUT-OUTS (posted on: 25-07-08)
Sometimes we need to listen...

Like cardboard cut-outs we face off to one another, offering a paper-chain monologue like a series of morse-code paper cuts. T dash, A dot dash, L dot dash dot dot, K dash dot dash, T dash, O dash dash dash, M dash dash, E dot. Deaf ears repel this repeated SOS and so we end up as mushed pulp, rotting from much overused tears. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for CUT-OUTS
Sunken on 25-07-2008
CUT-OUTS
Hello Mr. Ed. I was going to comment in Morse... but then I realised that the only Morse I know is of John Thaw persuasion, and he's dead. I blame the Sweeney. La la la, la la laa, la la la la la laa la la la - the Sweeney - the Sweeney - la la la la laaaa - That's torn it, I'll be singing said theme tune all night now. I blame Dennis Watermelon - Right people, right time, just the wrong location... la la la la. Ahem. I do apologise, Mr. Simon. This comment is now officially void. I set out with the best of intentions too. Damn those retro detective dramas!

s
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k
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what we gonna get fer her indoors?

Author's Reply:
I loved the Sweeney...when coppers were hard and took no lip...'SHUT IT YOU SLAG!'

Thanks for reading sunk.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 29-07-2008
CUT-OUTS
An original take on an age-old problem, Si...a very sad scenario, but one which we can all recognise. None of us is innocent...

Author's Reply:
Cheers Roy,

Old problems never seem to really go away...

Thanks again for talking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

orangedream on 31-07-2008
CUT-OUTS
Roy never said a truer word, Si - neither did you as you so eloquently demonstrated in this poem. If only people would listen though.

Nice one, Si. Hope the old eyes are OK. Sorry I haven't read this before. Bad time of year. Andrea's fortieth birthday would have been this Saturday.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

I think we sometimes hear what we want, more often than we would like to admit.

Don't worry about reading my nonsense just as long as you're all okay.

Si:-) Big smile your way.

teifii on 02-08-2008
CUT-OUTS
So true and so clever. Couldn't resist nominating it.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Why thank you Daff for thinking this is worthy of a nom!

And more than that, a big fank you for reading and commenting, glad you liked it.

Si:-)


THE CORN FIELD (posted on: 30-06-08)
Me and you...

As zephyrs dictate the way the corn shimmers and sunrays play kiss chase with the shadows. Beyond the vaporous hills tumbling, rolling in azure reflective radiance. A washed-out moon still finds time to smile on me and you. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for THE CORN FIELD
Sunken on 01-07-2008
THE CORN FIELD
How bloomin lovely, Mr. Si. It puts me in mind of a girl I once knew named Cher. She would sit astride cannons on warships and sing power ballads to sailors and such like. I realise that this is hardly helpful, but I am very tired and hopeless at commenting. I can only hope that people like your good-self will allow for this. Nice one.

s
u
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k
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the girl from specsavers - she say, 'who?'

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunk, please accept my apologies for being late in replying. Having probs with my eyes again.

I don't think you're hopeless at commenting mate...it's just your way, and we love ya for it...but in a manly way...ahem 🙂

Ta again.

Si:-)

orangedream on 02-07-2008
THE CORN FIELD
Si - you used one of my most favourite words in this one. 'Zephyr'. Love that word somehow. Find it very evocative - its origin coming from the old English word, 'zefferus' denoting a personification of the west wind.

Enjoyed your delightful picture-poem very much.

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

First off my apologies to you for being rather late in replying...poorly eyes 🙁

Thank you for taking the time to read and leave such an informative comment.

Si:-)


Jolen on 03-07-2008
THE CORN FIELD
Very fine work, Si. Leaves me with a mellow feeling which is quite lovely.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hello Jolen,

Most kind in stopping by and leaving a wonderful comment.

So sorry for in the late reply...not too good with my eyes.

Si:-)


CREPE DELLA PAVIMENTAZIONE (posted on: 30-06-08)
Il percorso di vita

I'm just one of many that follow the cracks in the pavement- hoping, perhaps, that in some perverse way they're a rainbow of grey that will lead to a pot of golden dreams. How wrong we are, all these fissures do is drain our self respect as we trudge with other nameless souls the delusional 'Dolce Vita'. Se sono fortunato il percorso si concluder Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for CREPE DELLA PAVIMENTAZIONE
artisus on 30-06-2008
CREPE DELLA PAVIMENTAZIONE
nice and deep poem Si, i'm a sucker for Italian movies too! thanks

Nic

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic,

Grazie for reading, glad you enjoyed it 🙂

Si:-)

Bootylicious on 30-06-2008
CREPE DELLA PAVIMENTAZIONE
Don't know what it is about Italian - understand none of it but drawn to it none-the less.

Thought this was brill

Rae

Author's Reply:
Hello Bootyness.

Probably because it seems such a in ya face language with lots of gesturing. Energetic without really doing much. Who knows? lol

The title means 'Pavement cracks' and 'Il percorso di vita…' means 'The path of life'. 'Se sono fortunato il percorso si concluderà…' means ' If I’m lucky the path will end…'

Glad you liked it and thank you for reading.

Si:-)





RoyBateman on 01-07-2008
CREPE DELLA PAVIMENTAZIONE
Damn - my internet connection just failed, dumping my comment! Anyway, a fascinating piece, Si - the downbeat theme lightened by the use of Italian. Thanks for the translation - I can just about manage Che Gelida Manina, or O Soave Fanciula - so you can probably guess what my all-time musical favourite is!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy, sorry mate for being late with the reply, my eyes have been causing me some problems.

I'm glad you enjoyed reading and for leaving a comment.

Si:-)

len on 23-07-2008
CREPE DELLA PAVIMENTAZIONE
That's the SPIRIT, Eddy!!!...:o)...There's one true thing about life, buddy.....it never has a happy ending....yer pal, len

Author's Reply:
Hi Len,

Cheers for stopping by and taking a gander and leaving a comment.

They do say 'life is what you make it'...I'm not too sure.

Ta again mate.

Si:-)


A PANTYHOSE FETISH? (posted on: 23-06-08)
Do you like the silken nylon feel against your skin? Just a bit of fun:-)

My fixation for tights began at a young age.

Pics in mom's catalogue portrayed-

shaped, silken legs on page upon page.

I longed to touch and see the nylon sheen.

Woman in tan and barely black-

tottering tarts in heels who like to be seen.

Coming out of the closet, I now wear pantyhose.

It wasn't really hard for me to do-

pulled on, run-free, alive I now expose

/

/

/

/

/

/

So...

'PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG AND NOBODY GET'S HURT!'

Simon Murphy 2008


Archived comments for A PANTYHOSE FETISH?
Sunken on 26-06-2008
A PANTYHOSE FETISH?
Ya know, Mr. Ed, that's one thing I've yet to try. I do believe we should experience these things. Now... where can I get a gun? Nice one Si. Very clever and no mistake.

s
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k
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missing presumed soiled

Author's Reply:
I agree Sunk that we should all try things...thing is a short fat person with hairy legs in pantyhose looks bloody awful...but that's enough of the wife *drum roll...right over my head*

I've got a shooter you can have, it's got a plastic handle and loads of metal bullets...oh, hang on, no...I've been told that's a stapler.

Glad you liked reading my nonsense.

Si:-)




RoyBateman on 29-06-2008
A PANTYHOSE FETISH?
You've been at that Freeman's catalogue again, haven't you? I've seen the fingermarks on THAT page. Mind you, if it was me being held up, I wouldn't be able to fill the bag for laughing....that'd be me blown away! Each to his own, I say - but I've always had a thing for stockings and suspenders, personally. I'm odd like that.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Freeman's catalogue? Might have been...

I must admit that a bloke with a pair of tights over his head will probably send me into hysterics, guess I'd be on the slab next you lol.

Nothing wrong with shapely legs in stockings and suspenders *grins*.

You odd...not saying.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)





MARBLE (posted on: 23-06-08)


You Cool, smooth and sensual- wraps of shimmering silicate encompass Me A spiral of cocooned colour, forever locked at the centre of an adoring amorphous sphere. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for MARBLE
len on 23-06-2008
MARBLE
I read this as an ideal of two becoming one, Eddy..Am I wrong?...You sure didn't waste any words here, buddy..len

Author's Reply:
Hi Len,

Sorry I'm late in replying mate.

Yes, you got it spot on. The union between two people, inspired my a kid at school who found a marble.

Thanks for reading and I'm glad you like it.

Si:-)


delph_ambi on 24-06-2008
MARBLE
I took it as a description (and a very good one at that) of a marble. It's slightly anthropomorphised, but not too much. Works well.

Author's Reply:
Hi Delph, as with other people that have commented I must apologies for being late in replying.

The idea was about two people joined into one, the idea came about after a child at school found a marble. But if you just saw the marble then that works too!

Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment, much appreciate it.

Si:-)




Jolen on 26-06-2008
MARBLE
Interesting work. Si. Very effective.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi there Jolen, so nice to hear from you:-)

Sorry I'm late in replying-my eyes have been bothering me again.

Ta for reading and glad you liked it my dear...makes me happy.

Si:-)

artisus on 30-06-2008
MARBLE
I was trying to comment on this one last night but it was one of the rare "slow days" of UKA and gave up at some point! back to add my comment since today UKA loads "at normal speed", i liked it very very much! a beautiful poem... thanks.

Nic

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic,

Yeah, I noticed that UKA was slow last night, kept timing out.

Thank you for taking the time to read and enjoy my poem and for picking it as a fave, means a lot.

Si:-)


jay12 on 30-06-2008
MARBLE
Nice duo here, intertwined like yin and yang.

Author's Reply:
Never thought of that Jay.

Thanks for reading and glad you liked it.

Si:-)



PAINLESSLY (posted on: 20-06-08)
ZERO TOLERANCE! Although this piece is written with the woman as the victim, many men are also victims...I know, I used to be one.

Temper now cooled like her loving blue eyes

Fists now open in an embrace of love, not anger

Grimace replaced by a smile so tender and warm

Harsh words turned into a lovers verse so sweet

'I love you' he now says with meaning

'I love you'she now replies

painlessly

SIMON MURPHY 2008.


Archived comments for PAINLESSLY
littleditty on 20-06-2008
PAINLESSLY
Hi Si -im thinking about the word 'painlessly' - and felt that numb . feeling -effective, on those words, 'I love you', a damaging love relationship, which can make those words get lost or empty, or full of hopelessness, dependency and sadness after/in an abusive relationship - well done Si - provokes much thought on this subject - beyond the obvious 'why doesn't s/he just leave?' - bravo 🙂 xxldx

Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

Glad you liked it for it's sadness.

Si:-)


delph_ambi on 20-06-2008
PAINLESSLY
Subtle and effective. Good writing.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Delph, glad you liked it.

Si:-)


e-griff on 20-06-2008
PAINLESSLY
I hope you won't mind if I say that this isn't the same style as your recent previous offerings I so liked. However, in its own right it is effective. I have a few moans - too many 'now's! - you can lose all of them IMO. I'd chop a bit as well. As I know you are man enough to resist my opinion if you wish, I'll do a version to illustrate if you don't mind:

Temper cooled like her loving blue eyes
Fists open in embrace, no anger
Grimace replaced by smile
Harsh words turned lover's verse -
'I love you'

'I love you too,' she replies

painlessly

I like the sound of grimace/replace! 🙂

best G



Author's Reply:
I totally agree with you regarding the 'nows'. This is an oldish piece and one that I again failed to really take notice of. Like what you have done. It was a sort of passion write, as this happened to me, but again I neglected to check it before subbing...rookie mistake.

Thanks for taking the time to read John.

Si:-) struggling with the old peepers again *blinks furiously*

teifii on 20-06-2008
PAINLESSLY
Very effective, Says a lot in few words. I agree with Griff about 'now'; it doesn't need it.
Oh and I like painlessly; it has a wealth of meaning and is very unhackneyd.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Yeah, my reply to Griffmond is I totally agree with yourself and him regarding the 'nows'.

It's an oldish write and with me struggling with eyes again at the moment I never bothered to really check it before subbing-bad of me 🙁

Glad you liked it though, and thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

Macjoyce on 20-06-2008
PAINLESSLY
Domestic violence is of course horrendous and, as you point out, men can be victims of it as well. Victims should stand up for themselves and fight back. I made this point myself on this site about a year ago, and a few people looked at me like I was a pubic hair in a Spanish omelette. Luckily not everyone did.



Author's Reply:
I agree, although I found it hard. It was an ex-girlfriend that used to get nastier and nastier when the old wage packet started to run out-she used sex as a tool to get what she wanted, when the dosh ran out she told me to get money from else where, when I couldn't it turned into violence. I was young and didn't understand. Finally she found some other poor sap...thank god.

Ta for your thoughts and for reading.

Si:-)




Sunken on 20-06-2008
PAINLESSLY
A strong piece Si.

s
u
n
k
e
n

twenty past shadow

Author's Reply:
Twenty passed shadow? You still got that sundial on around ya neck?

Thanks for reading mate.

Si:-)



Ionicus on 21-06-2008
PAINLESSLY
An excellent piece, Si, which - if you pardon the pun - packs a real punch.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi, as others have pointed out, this is rather rough, if I'm honest, but the feelings are there I feel.

Thanks again mate.

Si:-)


DocOrange on 23-06-2008
PAINLESSLY
Thought provoking, the topsy-turvy back and forth between love and hate that I'd guess most of us have experienced at some point at some level. Never nice.

'Enjoyed it' probably isn't the right phrase, but i'm reflecting on it.

Author's Reply:
Hi DocOrange,

Firstly accept my apologies for being rather late in responding to your comment.

You could be right, most people have probably experienced some sort of abuse and never tell.

Thanks again for your time in reading and leaving a comment.

Si:-)




NOT WAVING-JUST DROWNING (posted on: 16-06-08)
Sometimes, we want more.

Studying you on the shore, my Rosemallow amid the grains of various moments. I hoped that amused waves would deposit this instant to your heart. As try as I might to attract your attention- all you do is wave back as I founder and drown. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for NOT WAVING-JUST DROWNING
len on 17-06-2008
NOT WAVING-JUST DROWNING
Sounds like a real disconnect from what you want from what you get. A sorrowful write, Eddy...len

Author's Reply:
Thanks Len, yeah, love leaves you in most awkward of places.

Thanks for reading.

Si:-)


Macjoyce on 18-06-2008
NOT WAVING-JUST DROWNING
What's Rosemallow, and what's its significance?

Good poem. That old chestnut, love, eh?...


Author's Reply:
Hello Paul, thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

The Rosemallow is a Hibiscus, a plant that produces large flowers. It can tolerate occasional wetness and salt, likes well drained sandy soil. They do grow on beaches and sand dunes. It was the idea of a large colourful flower amongst the arid beach setting that I was after, that was my focal point-the love that waved, petals in the breeze.

Hope that makes some sense.

Si:-)


orangedream on 18-06-2008
NOT WAVING-JUST DROWNING
Forgive me, Si. I must be going a bit do-lally!! I really thought I had commented on this one. I keep doing that lately. Think I have done something and I haven't. Senior moments, I fear.

Anyway. A sad tale, graphically told in your usual, inimitable style.

Have a good week and I hope that all is well.

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

You may have thought you had commented on this as it was subbed last Friday and probably saw it there. It got no comments, so I scrapped it and re-subbed for last Monday.

Glad you like it-seem to be all sad at the moment-yet not personally, just in writing?

Ta again.

Si:-)


teifii on 19-06-2008
NOT WAVING-JUST DROWNING
Nice alternative take on not waving but drowning.
Like "the grains of
various moments." --- sort of combination of sand and time.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff, sorry I'm a tad late in replying. Problems with my eyes again 🙁

Thanking you so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment, glad you liked it.

Si:-)


Munster on 19-06-2008
NOT WAVING-JUST DROWNING
Hi Si, yeah its a tough one jumping, leaping, trying to get attention.
Story of most lives.

Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony.

Yep, I think you are right. We all want recognition and not just from a loved one.

Ta for taking the time to read mate.

Si:-)



METERS (posted on: 13-06-08)
Just for fun.

A guest stood studying as dialogue pursued one another like a famished hunter. Author in full verse split the belly exposing poetic innards. ''Monometer, dimeter...'' The stranger hops from foot to foot. ''Trimeter, tetrameter, pentameter'' Impatience spreading across an already uninterested face. ''Hexameter...heptameter...can I help you?'' A slightly snide request from rhymester killed in mid-flow. ''Yeah, what about ya gas meter? I've come to read it.'' Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for METERS
e-griff on 13-06-2008
METERS
you're still in your new style I see, which is good. Here however, I tripped over a glitch

as dialogue
pursued
one another

que? 🙂

Author's Reply:
The dialogue is supposed to be from the poet to others, the stranger is of course, the gas man.

If I'm honest I didn't put an awful lot of thought behind this piece, which probably was wrong, it just came to me and I jotted it down. The words that the author spoke chased each other as he went through the various meters, finally ending with the gas man.

Any suggestions mate?

Si:-)


red-dragon on 13-06-2008
METERS
Tee hee - I have just written a daft poem about the gas man reading the metre - probably not for posting on UKA, but I did smile when I saw yours! Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann, great minds thinking alike? Or maybe not heh heh.

Ta for reading my daftness.

Si:-)


e-griff on 13-06-2008
METERS
maybe 'as words pursued one another like famished hunters'
or as ideas/concepts/views/dreams .... whatever . 🙂



Author's Reply:
Yeah, cheers for that mate. Sorry I'm late in replying...my eyes are not too good.

Si:-)


MywordsandI on 13-06-2008
METERS
how about 'They gassed' slang and fall into context. I like daft, make me smile, I need that one time in a day.

Kev

Author's Reply:
Hi Kev,

Please accept my apologies for being late in replying. I have a problem with my eyes and it has been causing me problems again.

I like your suggestion, very witty.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)


Sunken on 14-06-2008
METERS
Another cleverly worded piece, Mr. Si. You is certainly on a roll and I isn't talking bread. Nice one and no mistake.

s
u
n
k
e
n

toothpaste 3 - tin foil 3

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk me old matey. Sorry for being late in replying, poorly eyes 🙁

Thank you for enjoying my daftness.

Toothpaste 3 - Tin foil, did it go to penalties?

Si:-)


Munster on 15-06-2008
METERS
Hi Si, yeah enjoyed the piece,

Tony

Author's Reply:
Cheers Tony,

Glad you enjoyed it mate.

Si:-)




DRIFT WOOD (posted on: 09-06-08)
Another love gone wrong poem, I'm afraid...

Stranded, devoid of any belief that the assimilation of shore, sea and sky would gather to care. A brief burlesque notion that one could become two made the gulls soar high on spiralling laughter. And so I lay, sun-bleached greyed, gently rolling in the heart breakers. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for DRIFT WOOD
e-griff on 09-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
On a roll, man! 🙂

The Cottenham Writer's Circle and Ben Mortisham await you ....

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Cambridge is a bit far for me to travel lol.

As for Mr Motisham and bibliophilia.org-I'm not sure, prefer to stay here.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)


littleditty on 09-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
nice heart breaker Si - its quite the setting for one isn't it? Like the simplicity of this...'gently rolling in the heart breakers' The sea here today is every green, blue and purple, slightly disappointed there are no beautiful naked people on the beach today, but there are beautiful long rolling white waves -and nobody on the rock -i reckon i can tell a broken heart by the way the person is sitting :o) Any sunshine in the old country yet? Have a good day Si xxxditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

Yep, loads of warm sunshine today-having a BBQ tonight.

Sounds like it's beautiful where you are, and as for naked people...you perv 😉

Thank you for reading.

Si:-)


Emerald on 09-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
heart breakers definitely give impact of love gone wrong, love the imagery - I tend often to relate the sea and its moods to my state of mind - enjoyed the read

Emma x


Author's Reply:

Emerald on 09-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
heart breakers definitely give impact of love gone wrong, love the imagery - I tend often to relate the sea and its moods to my state of mind - enjoyed the read

Emma x


Author's Reply:

Emerald on 09-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
heart breakers definitely give impact of love gone wrong, love the imagery - I tend often to relate the sea and its moods to my state of mind - enjoyed the read

Emma x


Author's Reply:
Well Emma, you must have really liked this cos you have commented three times, and gave me a rating of 10 and a rating of 8 lol!

Glad you enjoyed reading.

Ta.

Si:-)


len on 09-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
Very visual treatment of love lost, Eddy...Nice stuff...len

Author's Reply:
Hi Len,

Most kind to stop by and leave a comment, glad you liked it.

Si:-)


orangedream on 10-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
'A brief, burlesque notion, that one could become two ...'

This is quite beautiful, Si

A poigant poem, most certainly and indeed, extremely visual.

Tina;-)

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 10-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
Sorry, Si. Typo unfortunately. Should have been 'poignant'.
Must take more water with it. Hic!

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina for thinking that there is some beautiful lines in this.

Glad you enjoyed it, even if it was blurred, heh heh.

Ta again.

Si:-)


Sunken on 11-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
How disgraceful of Ms. Orange to openly drink and comment. I have a good mind to report her to Ms. Andrea... Not that she'd do much. I hear she's a hippy. Probably into all kinds of stuff. It's a good job I'm here. All I've had this morning is a bowl of crunchie nut cornflakes. I think it shows by the sensibility of my comment. Nice one Si.

s
u
n
k
e
n

details regarding the making of this comment can be found on ceefax page 367

Author's Reply:
I agree Sunk-it's these oldies you know, they think they can saunter on the site drunk and who knows what else?



Tis a disgrace and I'm so glad that you have the forethought to come across as the mature and sensible person that you are, god bless you.



As for ceefax? The work of the devil if you ask me...which you haven't...so I'll leave it there...maybe.



Si:-)












RoyBateman on 11-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
Succinct but very successful in creating the mood, Si - that last line was a real killer!

Author's Reply:
Hello there, your Royness!

Most kind of you to drop me a comment that you enjoyed this.

Really pleased that you liked it.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Romany on 11-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
The sea is such a great device for portraying many emotions. This is very good - (Reminds me of one of mine!)

Romany.

Author's Reply:
I agree Sue, the sea can create so many moods.

Glad you liked it and thanks for dropping by and taking the time.

Si:-)


Munster on 11-06-2008
DRIFT WOOD
Hi Si, yeah enjoyed, heart breakers, we need to avoid them.

Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony,

Yep, agree with you, avoid if you can...sometimes though, you just can't.

Glad you liked it mate, thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment.

Si:-)



CANDY LAND (posted on: 06-06-08)
Are your dreams better than your life?

It has been a while since Flake induced cornfield lovemaking took control. Wanting Eastern promise to squeeze sand between toes from blithe strolls along beaches lined with kisses that collide upon pouting cherry lips. Now only unimaginative house fronts with satellite dish sun-dials pointing to hum-drum 'o' clock- frozen signals that don't have the tick-tock harmony of sweet love hearts. Only a morning of soul curling cereal that sogs with the sour milk of sorrow mixed with the ritual mug of brown despair. If only the alarm was made of liquorice I could have devoured its strident wail; instead, waking, leaving dreams still slumbering, reality returns and so does my life. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for CANDY LAND
e-griff on 06-06-2008
CANDY LAND
someone said (I think) that you were improving greatly with your poems (how is that possible? I hear you ask)

well, I'm saying the same thing. You seem to have tapped a vein of something deeper recently - so no pics, no gimmicks, just telling words. very good!

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 06-06-2008
CANDY LAND
I hope you will accept this rare Griffpick!

[IMG]http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u215/JohnG38/Griffpick.jpg[/IMG]

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 06-06-2008
CANDY LAND
oops!

Photobucket

Author's Reply:
Most kind John and thank you for the motivating words.

Pleased that you enjoyed reading.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 06-06-2008
CANDY LAND
Well, dreams CAN be better than real life, mate - if you're lucky. It depends how many flakes feature in 'em - I know what you're talking about, you naughty boy you! Seriously, though, Si - real atmoshere in this - downbeat, yes, but it said something we can all relate to. Now, back to sleep...

Author's Reply:
ROY! You awake now mate?

Me? A naughty boy? NEVER!

Glad you liked it-to be honest I wasn't over impressed with it when I wrote it, don't know why.

Si:-)




red-dragon on 06-06-2008
CANDY LAND
Agree with griff - a little beauty here, Si. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Most kind indeed for your kind words, glad you enjoyed reading.

Si:-)

littleditty on 06-06-2008
CANDY LAND
well writ, liked the cereal theme! what a perfect come down breakfast stanza - sour milk *yuk*- and the liquorice alarm - nice! (.Daydreaming in grey weather is not easy...*does sunshine dance for UK*:o) xxditty x

Author's Reply:
Hello my little ditty, I hope you're well?

Really pleased that you liked this, as for the weather, think it's about to rain here!

Ta again.

Si:-)


MywordsandI on 06-06-2008
CANDY LAND
Si,

Even reading has a dreamy tempo. After two reads I needed to ask is your life is so grey? I hope this is not a hint of your reality, and only word play! I need to cut my work down, I seem to over inflate, and your work is a good example for me to see that.

I have not read any of you other works yet but I will spend time to go through as much as I can.



Author's Reply:
Hi MWsAI.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment and for thinking this is a good example.

No, my life is not this dull, but judging by the faces on the people I see going to work, some are-that's where I got the inspiration for it. Like I told Roy, I wasn't impressed with this write to be honest, it was rather hurried and I didn't think it fitted together the reality and the dream.

Also, thanks in advance if you read some of my other works, some are okay and others are...well, poo lol. That's poetry for ya.

Cheers again.

Si:-)


Sunken on 07-06-2008
CANDY LAND
Another top piece, Mr. Si. Ahhhh... to be a flake. You've done it now (-;

s
u
n
k
e
n

where the people don't go is where sunks does

Author's Reply:
Most kind Mr Sunk!

Those Flake adverts were a tad suggestive *shudders*...I like you, want to be a Flake now...

Si:-)


orangedream on 07-06-2008
CANDY LAND

'... beaches lined with
kisses that collide upon
pouting cherry lips."

I love this bit, Si. All in all a smashing poem and I too like the the breakfast cereal theme.

Keep 'em coming kid!

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Ta Tina, most pleased that you enjoyed reading 😉

Si:-)


Munster on 07-06-2008
CANDY LAND
Why is it we appear to be woken when we are having a good dream and left till the bitter end when it a nightmare.

Nice one Si

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony,

Good question mate, and one I have no idea...it's like you can't have too much fun. But, scaring the crap out you is fine!

Ta for reading and glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)


len on 12-06-2008
CANDY LAND
"Only
a morning of soul
curling cereal that
sogs with the sour milk
of sorrow mixed with the
ritual mug of brown
despair."

What a great description of getting up to go to a job you could live without...Love it, Eddy!...len

Author's Reply:
Hi Len,

As I pointed out in my replies to other comments, I wasn't too sure of this. But having read it again, it does sound okay. I must admit that I too like them lines.

Thanking you sir for reading and enjoying it!

Si:-)



MANUSCRIPT MURDER (posted on: 02-06-08)
TO KILL A POEM...

Absolve me majestic writers, past and present- for I have sinned. I killed a poem today. Twisting with glee as Cocaine white sheet parted neath nails. Black words broke as I ripped its rhyme, leaving an idiom of surprise as the heart written within beat its last. Torn title, flutters like a vanquished banner- TO THE ONE I LOVE. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for MANUSCRIPT MURDER
e-griff on 02-06-2008
MANUSCRIPT MURDER
neath? that's in S Wales, isn't it? do they make nails?

Author's Reply:
Er, yes I think it is-as for nail making, who knows?

Si:-)

Sunken on 02-06-2008
MANUSCRIPT MURDER
You're subbing some very strong subs of late, Mr. Si, in my sunky opinion. This is yet another.

s
u
n
k
e
n

cold sore 1 - coleslaw 3

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunk,

Most kind words indeed sir, thank you, glad you liked it.

I'm glad that coleslaw beat the cold sore, they deserve a good beating.

Si:-)


orangedream on 03-06-2008
MANUSCRIPT MURDER
I second Sunken's comments wholeheartedly, Si and cn really identify with the sentiment behind your poem. But then can't all us would-be poets!!

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina, glad you enjoyed reading. I wanted this not only to be obvious regarding that the poem is linked to a loved one and maybe he/she has broken the poets heart. But, also that the poem itself broke the writers heart for whatever reasons, that's for the reader to decide.

Sorry for replying a bit late, been away.

Si:-)


Munster on 03-06-2008
MANUSCRIPT MURDER
Hi Si, this is the heart of reality, we all kill something at some stage, mine is the odd note or fifty when I try to sing.

Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony,

I'm sure you're not that bad mate...saying that I always wanted to be a rock guitar player...got small hands and couldn't play it properly, murdered that Axe...a Axe murderer...is that a joke? Well my playing was lol. Music teacher told me to take up drums...not bad but I wasn't allowed to sing backing cos I was crap at that too.

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


THE BUS (posted on: 26-05-08)
MISSING THE BUS.

THE
bus,
red
as
your
lips
passed
by
me
for
the
last
time.
ENGINE
churning
forth
great
clouds
of
obnoxious
insults.
CHOKING
me
in
your
over-
masculine
tones,
muscling
in
like
over
zealous
bouncers.
ME,
a
Zeppelin
that
soared
above
you,
lifting
you
above
the
shoulders
of
mortals.
TO
burst
into
flames,
leaving
only
a
twisted
skeleton
in
DEATH.


Simon Murphy 2008.





Archived comments for THE BUS
richardwatt on 26-05-2008
THE BUS


Author's Reply:

richardwatt on 26-05-2008
THE BUS
Oh dear that didn't go so well.Talk about distraction.

In an case, I had to check down at my leg after the poem ended in case it had followed through the monitor and continued to skewer said leg. If I were to take a (punnitve) stab at this, I'd say that it were the product of atonal music and william carlos williams' the red wheelbarrow. It's a smoking ruin of a poem, but in the ways that smoking ruins are so enticing. If I were you I would remove the punctuation from the whole thing. I reckon it might read a little easier OR you could maybe play with a shape. I don't however have a suggestion for which shape you could use. I'm a fan of butterflies but they may not be useful here.

Author's Reply:
Hi Richard,

Thanking you for taking the time to read and leave a comment.

Yeah, it is a tad long. I wanted a mono-word flow-just experimenting really, other possibilities where a bus or an airship shape, but like you pointed out I thought the flow/lack of, made it reflect the words in the poem. A smoking ruin fits very nicely.

I think a butterfly wouldn't have worked due to the content, besides I have already had a go at a butterfly shaped poem: http://www.ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=20487

Thanks again for your interest.

Si:-)




orangedream on 27-05-2008
THE BUS
There seems to be a lot of anger in this one, Si.

I always think that it's fun experimenting with layouts of poems. There was one poem I wrote about a cat. I merely centered each line and when I printed it out, it actually was in the shape of one of our feline friends!

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Yes, a lot of anger. Why I don't know? I'm happily married and have been for many years-these poems just come to me and I have to get them down. Looking on the crappier side of love and life is what I'm better at lol!

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 27-05-2008
THE BUS
Sounds like you're better off without this one, mate - all those fumes. Like all buses, there's sure to be another one along in a minute, even if it takes you where you didn't expect to go...that's buses for you. And women. There's plenty to think about in this one, Si - have you been looking at that Lakehurst footage again?

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Funny you should mention the Lakehurst footage, I saw a clip on telly and thought how could I use that in a poem?

To be honest maybe a mystery tour would be the answer lol.

Thanks for reading and commenting.



PAPER-PLATE EXPRESSION (posted on: 23-05-08)
Wrote when Gordo abolished the ten pence tax...just a bit of tea-boy fun. Biccie anyone?

''What's this?'' ''They're not what we usually have...'' ''I don't like these'' Mumblings of disapproval rumbled like shockwaves from an earthquake- and I was the epicentre. Facing these acolytes of the rose- knowing I was their ten pence tax thorn. Archived comments for PAPER-PLATE EXPRESSION
orangedream on 23-05-2008
PAPER-PLATE EXPRESSION
Well, I am speechless, Si! And obviously, so is our 'friend'.

A really original write which certainly made me choke on my Cheerios!!

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina, for reading my bit of nonsense.

Hope you didn't splat your Cheerios allover hubby before you started to choke? *pats back*

Si:-)




e-griff on 23-05-2008
PAPER-PLATE EXPRESSION
hey! that's Wee Geordie Broon, chief engineer of the Enterprise Economy, often known as 'Scotty' 🙂

'We cannae take much more of this , Captain!' - as he often so rightly said.

Author's Reply:
Hah, hah...yeah, he does look like him.

Si:-)


Munster on 25-05-2008
PAPER-PLATE EXPRESSION
Reminds me of the ad, don't change your lifestyle change your supermarket, by Von Lidl.
Enjoyed the read Si.
Tony

Author's Reply:
Cheers Tony, glad you liked it mate.

Si:-)




FUNCTION & FORM (posted on: 23-05-08)
Can a woman be anything else but a sex object?

Why do you think she rebuffs so many times? I mean, she is sexymy God she is pure sex! Could that be the problem? Do I see with pinhole clarity only? Is a multi-lens perspective of a woman beyond me? Beyond my compass to navigate a true consideration of the depths behind the rolling breasts? Must be. I only witness what I want, I need to see. FUNCTION & FORM. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for FUNCTION & FORM
orangedream on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
Si - I think the last stanza of your well-penned poem says it all.

Tina;-)

Author's Reply:
Most kind of you to read, comment and rate!

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)


e-griff on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
well, have you met my granny?

Author's Reply:
Bet she was a looker in her day?

Si:-)


Romany on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
Hidden depths to you, as always.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Why thank you Sue for thinking I have hidden depths-to be honest I wrote this in a trap that my wife had dug in the back garden. She swears blind it's to catch marauding bears...I don't believe her. Luckily I had a 20 foot ladder with me or this poem would never have appeared-nor would I for that matter.

Ta again.

Si:-)


Bradene on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
Romany put her finger right on it there Si. Really really hidden (-; Good poem. Val x

Author's Reply:
That's what my wife was probably hoping for Val. Really, really hidden:-)

Thank you for reading and glad you liked it.

Hope you're doing okay now?

Si:-)


SugarMama34 on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
A good view pt. It makes the reader think about what you've written. I liked it.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:
Glad you enjoyed it Lis.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


Sunken on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
My best friend is a hamster... Does that count? Actually, he's male... This is a deeply flawed comment. I must try harder. Nice one, Forever live and Si.

s
u
n
k
e
n

confessions of a termite part two

Author's Reply:
He may be a hamster Sunk, but at least you have a friend, that's the main thing.

Thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)



artisus on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
i agree with Romany, there is hidden depth and it's a good poem.

Author's Reply:
Most kind Artisus for dropping by and leaving a comment.

Glad you enjoyed reading and for the rate too.

Si:-)


Macjoyce on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
In answer to your opening question, Simon, yes. Especially if she's Anne Robinson.


Author's Reply:
Fair enough 😉

Ta for stopping by.

Si:-)

len on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
My pa told me that there are onlt two things to understand about a woman, and no man knows either of them. :o) len

Author's Reply:

len on 23-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
My pa told me that there are only two things to understand about a woman, and no man knows either of them. :o) len

Author's Reply:
As for two things mate-you must have liked it cos you commented twice lol!

I agree, women are the most beautiful yet perplexing creatures known to man.

Cheers mate.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 25-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
Admit it, Si - you're just a bloke. The female sex is way beyond your comprehension. Join the club - it's an amazingly big one!
ps. Actually, women - even young and otherwise attractive ones - CAN be completely out of the picture as sex objects...go to any town centre, late at night, if you dare. You'll see what I mean!

Author's Reply:
True, I am a bloke and that women are beyond my comprehension...as for going to a town centre, late at night *shudders* not without me mam.

Ta for reading Roy.

Si:-)




Munster on 25-05-2008
FUNCTION & FORM
Hi Si, very good agree with all before.
Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony,

Many thanks mate for taking the time to read and comment.

Most pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)



WORD DICTATOR (posted on: 19-05-08)
Are you a good leader?

Writing is a battle- words are troops. Sentences the creeping armies that sprawl across a battlefield of parchment. When you feel that you have won the war, words betray the despot you are. Leaving you to the mercy of critique. Simon Murphy 2008.
Archived comments for WORD DICTATOR
e-griff on 19-05-2008
WORD DICTATOR
oh, 'parchment' is it, Mr high-falutin poncy writer?

some of us use paper, you know - and not just to wipe our bums.

you rich sods make me sick!

Author's Reply:
How dare you sir!

Now stay still so I can lord it over you.

Andrea, the serfs seem to be gobbing back to us higher class writers!

Ta for reading mate.

Si:-)




Romany on 19-05-2008
WORD DICTATOR
Haha! Nicely worded!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue,

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Macjoyce on 19-05-2008
WORD DICTATOR
Good poem, apart from the comma after 'sprawl'. Kill it! Kill it now!

Hmm, yeah, parchment is a bit weird...

The problem with the words betraying the despotism is that you've already said that the words are troops. It's not troops that betray despotism, they are just a tool of that despotism. Despotism is betrayed by the abused and neglected populace.



Author's Reply:
Hi Paul,

Consider it killed-just removed it.

As for parchment-I didn't want to put paper, that sounded a bit naff to me.

With you regarding the Despotism, see what you're saying. Thing is, to change it now would probably kill the poem.

Ta for reading and glad you liked it.

Si:-)


orangedream on 20-05-2008
WORD DICTATOR
Couldn't agree more with your great poem, Si! Many a true word and all that!!

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hello Tina.

Thanks to you for enjoying my poem, most kind indeed 🙂

Si:-)


barenib on 22-05-2008
WORD DICTATOR
Yes, it's a funny old business this writing lark - I tend to think of my moments of putting pen to paper (or parchment if there's any about) as temporary bouts of either madness or insight - usually the former.
It's always worth writing about writing though! John.

Author's Reply:
Enjoyed your comment John, think most will agree that madness is the foremost element to writing.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


len on 25-05-2008
WORD DICTATOR
Damn the critics...Full speed ahead, I say..Since I got a computer a few years ago, I hardly ever write on parchment anymore. Fight the good fight, Eddy...I'm with ya, buddy...len

Author's Reply:

len on 25-05-2008
WORD DICTATOR
Damn the critics...Full speed ahead, I say..Since I got a computer a few years ago, I hardly ever write on parchment anymore. Fight the good fight, Eddy...I'm with ya, buddy...len

Author's Reply:
Cheers Len, too right.

Thanking you for reading and commenting.

Si:-)



TREE (posted on: 19-05-08)
FELLED AND FORGOTTEN...

A tree fell today, its branches sag- leaves shudder in tempest death throe. Descending,finally to rest amongst brothers and sisters, parents and friends. Yet, not one shall grieve nor shed a tear. II II II II Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for TREE
Bradene on 19-05-2008
TREE
Love this Si, Really good.

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Glad you liked it and a big fank you for the generous rate!

Si:-)

red-dragon on 19-05-2008
TREE
Yes, I echo Val's comment, Si. Its silhouette brings it to life. Ann

Author's Reply:
Most kind Ann, for stopping and enjoying my little tree.

Si:-)

e-griff on 19-05-2008
TREE
yes, real froopy.

I think you should use 'will' instead 'shall' - the latter being a command (unless you meant it that way 🙂 )

Author's Reply:
Froopy? Is that another word for groovy?

Shall I?

Will I?

May do.

Thank you for reading and offering the suggestion.

Si:-)

Romany on 19-05-2008
TREE
Beautiful things trees and grossly under appreciated in my opinion. I'm glad you appear to have, well, appreciated them.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sue,

Yes they are magnificent things and yes I do appreciate them very much. Also this poem is a bit more deeper, referring to our own lives.

Ta again for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


SugarMama34 on 19-05-2008
TREE
A really lovely poem Si. I liked the way you shaped it too like a tree and the way it was worded, its short , but tells a good story and an important one at that. I love trees and have always found them magical, which I think stems from my childhood. Nice one.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Lis,

What can I say but a big thank you for commenting and the rate.

Yes they are very magical.

Ta again.

Si:-)


Sunken on 20-05-2008
TREE
Hello Mr. Si. How do you format like that? I once tried to post a poem in the shape of two dogs mating. I gave up in the end because I couldn't get the poodle's tail right. The Alsatian was quite good tho. I blame the government. All this hybrid stuff will surely lead to tears. Anyway, yes, a fine little piece indeed. I shall hug a tree for you later.

s
u
n
k
e
n

daz 3 - persil 5

Author's Reply:
To format I tend to screw up my face (like I'm constipated) and then make a wish. The facial expression is important or it will never work-the format fairy knows if you're really straining or just dicking about. Of course it can backfire and many a time I have soiled myself and not got my formated poem...bloody fairies.

Thank you for reading and hugging a tree, they need love to.

Si:-)


orangedream on 20-05-2008
TREE
I agree with sunks, here Si - whenever I try and do a clever format like yours, it always looks OK on the preview and then it screws itself up completely when it actually gets posted. You are obviously charmed!!

We had our great big willow pollarded a month or so ago but its branches and leaves are coming back splendidly now. Actually, I really prefer it how it is at present. Looks like one of those bonsai trees, all sort of Chinese style if you know what I mean.

Great poem, Si written with admirable sentiment.

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
I guess I'm just brilliant...ner-n-ner-n-ner-ner...heh heh.

Actually it is a bit of a fiddle at times-the HTML makes it go all stupid so I have to re-align and re-align and...you get the picture, well you do if it works out okay..BOOM BOOM!

Most kind as always for your wonderful comment and for taking the time to read.

Glad that your tree is okay and that you're enjoying it.

Si:-)


len on 20-05-2008
TREE
Poor TREE!!!.... Just beautiful words, cleverly arranged...I sometimes wonder if all living things have a sort of conciouness that we are unaware of. {of which we are unaware} :o)....len

Author's Reply:
You could right Len, about all life forms having a consciousness-especially tress, I'll ask Prince Charles the next time he pops in for tea.

Thanks for reading and commenting, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)


Emerald on 22-05-2008
TREE
I'll probably be accused of being a tree hugger - but I do feel that there is almost a silent scream when a tree is felled - good poem, enhanced by the format

Emma x


Author's Reply:
Hi Emma,

What a sad thought- a silent scream 🙁 But why not? Just because animals don't continuously make sounds people think that they're not in pain or feel pain...wrong! It's just that humans have to make a bloody meal out of everything and need to be the centre of attention!

Ta again for reading.

Si:-)


littleditty on 22-05-2008
TREE
Very gooooood - like this a lot Si - nom from me xxldx

Author's Reply:
Bless you LD, glad you enjoyed my tree and a big thanks for the nom, means a lot.

Si:-)



THE BRIDGE (posted on: 16-05-08)
Inspired by a country walk.

Sitting on aged grey stones, eavesdrop you and I. Straining ears for conversations amid ripples and the reeds. The peculiar glug from fervent fish, is a shout amongst the whisperings. The buzz from nature soothes the mind, and we abscond, hand in hand. Only the Dragonfly who waited from afar, returns to the voices of the bridge. Simon Murphy 2008.
Archived comments for THE BRIDGE
delph_ambi on 16-05-2008
THE BRIDGE
Full of sunshine. Enjoyed this one. You took me there.

Author's Reply:
Hi delph,

Glad it took you somewhere 🙂

Thanks for reading.

And the rate, if that was you.

Si:-)

Emerald on 16-05-2008
THE BRIDGE
lovely and dreamy, dappled in sunshine, really enjoyed

Emma x


Author's Reply:

Emerald on 16-05-2008
THE BRIDGE
lovely and dreamy, dappled in sunshine, really enjoyed

Emma x


Author's Reply:
Hi Emma,

You must have enjoyed it as you went for another walk to the bridge lol.

Glad you liked reading it.

Si:-)


Macjoyce on 16-05-2008
THE BRIDGE
This is the best poem of yours I've read, Simon. It shows you're gathering in linguistic expertise. The first three lines for example, and the alliteration of ripples/reeds and fervent/fish, and the half-rhymes of mind/abscond/hand, all strengthen this poem into one I'm tempted to favourite.

Only two things I'd like to see improved (though it's your call, of course): 'peculiar' is rather weak. I'm sure you can describe the glug of the fish in a more precise way than this. Avoid adjectives if you can and then your mind soars to all kinds of cool places.

I also think the ending is a bit weak and nothing really happens there. I'm not saying something dramatic has to happen of course, but it'd be good if something more interesting happened, even if it's just a bit of wordplay or suchlike linguistic excellence. Or maybe you could say more about the dragonfly.

Overall, good stuff, getting there...

Paul


Author's Reply:
Hi Paul,

Thanks for the nice comment and taking the time to read. To be honest this style tends to go back to an earlier time in my poet style. And to be nearly tempted into adding it as a fave is good enough for me lol.

I agree that peculiar does seem a bit lame.

I wanted the ending just plane-the Dragonfly watching the couple, waiting for them to leave and then returning to his habitat.

Glad you liked it though.

Si:-)

Sunken on 17-05-2008
THE BRIDGE
How I wish such places existed around here, Mr. Si. The last time I went for a stroll in my local park I happened across a group of doggers. Still, if spring is in the air I guess these things can be expected. A nice poem and no mistake.

s
u
n
k
e
n

his belly button is a headphone socket

Author's Reply:
I hope they cleared up after themselves...bloody doggers 🙂

Thanking you for enjoying my moment of nature.

Si:-)


Munster on 18-05-2008
THE BRIDGE
Hi Si, liked the poem, I often wonder when I look at the dragon fly's shape and its ability to hover if the inventor of the helicopter copied it somewhat, the peace and quiet of the countryside can't beat it.

Author's Reply:
That's a good question, nature is far better at working things out...saying that, a species that can adapt itself by making something is pretty good too.

Ta for reading and glad you like poem.

Si:-)





A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE! (posted on: 12-05-08)
Oh, the f****ing joy of writing!

I'd love to be a writer, words so stirring they weep from the leaf. I'd love to be a writer, metaphors that dance like fish amidst a reef. I'd love to be a writer, to style monologue akin to a most fetching motif. I'd love to be a writer, and write really fucking nice. Shit to all this bollocks- my sanity has paid the price! Simon Murphy 2008 Thanks to John for a few edit changes.
Archived comments for A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
e-griff on 12-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
Yerst, Simon. Good thought.

I'd suggest 'amidst' for 'among'

and 'suppurate' doesn't seem the right kind of word in relation to the words being 'stirring' - you need a more positive/healthy one, IMO

Author's Reply:
Hello John,

Yes you are correct, suppurate doesn't fit. I thought it was another word for tear but it's actually a sore. Will change it 🙂

Ta again.

Si:-)


Bootylicious on 12-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
Captures my current mood perfectly. Love the end line rhymes that echo the desire for perfection and then just throwing it all up in the air with the use of the word "bollocks".

Made me laugh and that's difficult to do these days.

Thanks eddiesolo

Booty

Author's Reply:
Hello Booty,

Firstly, ta very muchly for stopping by and reading.

Secondly, glad that it gave you a laugh, I do hope that more than my page-waster makes you smile?

Isn't everybody searching for that perfect write? You try your hardest and then...it all goes wrong.

In the end you need a fag, large drink and a new hair-piece!

Ta again.

Si:-)

Sunken on 12-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
Ya know, I couldn't think of anything to rhyme on the last line of my current sub. Some say it might just be her... flat, cat, mat - No, nothing works. I feel your pain. Another nice one Si.

s
u
n
k
e
n

tomorrow the moon

Author's Reply:
Tis a lonely place to be when rhymes won't rhyme and prose reads worse than a Jeffrey Archer novel.

Ta very much for taking time out of your busy day to pop in and sympathize with the ailments of a fellow author.

Si:-)


Corin on 12-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
I think that you are a poet
This is no time to throw it,
Get in the boat and row it!

David

Author's Reply:
Most kind David for leaving your words of wisdom 🙂

Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment.

Si:-)

Macjoyce on 12-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
I thought the rhyme scheme was going really well, and then you went mad and started swearing!

An inventive inversion of the more usual "Bollocks to all this shit" into "Shit to all this bollocks". I've always said swearing can be creative.



Author's Reply:
Well that can happen I'm afraid, the madness and the swearing-swearing and the madness.

Well swear words I feel, do have a place in writing, if they are used properly.

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


e-griff on 12-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
well, may I suggest (instead of weep) 'spring forth' , or 'spring out', which keeps the watery theme but has the other meaning which I felt you were aiming for.

and in the last verse, I feel that:

and write really fucking
nice. - here 'writing really ... ' would flow better if you like it, but it could stay as it is.

but:

'my sanity has paid the price!' is askew.

sorta not quite enough to McGonagalise it, but enough to throw it out. Hmmm, 'my sanity's paid the price' would do, but maybe there's something a bit better?

best JohnG 🙂


Author's Reply:
Hi John, ta again for your input.

I like weep as it was the intended meaning, I wanted the words to cry off the page. I just got the wrong word and though it sounded good lol.

Thanks for the suggestions, not thought about the ending. Probably because like you said it doesn't really sound that bad .

Si:-)




len on 12-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
*POOF* Yer a friggin' writer, already...You wasted your one wish when you could have has Linda McCartney, without a prenup, even... :o)...len

Author's Reply:
Hah hah, cheers Len for reading and commenting.

Si, the paperback writer.


RoyBateman on 13-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
You've become the Bogwall Bard, Si...no, only joking! We all know the feeling - mental constipation, but too often combined with verbal diarrhoea* - if only we had the secret of the perfect balance!
* I only put that in to prove that I could spell it...years of reading illiterate kids' parents' notes, you understand. ("Little Johnny's had the diary, and a cuff and a code...")

Author's Reply:
Bogwell Bard! More like the Ravensthorpe Ranter...just as bad lol.

The perfect write? Don't think there really is one.

Ta for reading Roy.

Si:-)






soman on 14-05-2008
A WRITER, HAH! A MAD BASTARD MORE LIKE!
Even cynicism can be encashed, isnt it! Reflects my own current mood. Thanks.

Soman

Author's Reply:
Mmmmm, you're the second person that has posted to express that this was their mood.

Hope that it soon passes and you get back into your stride.

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

Si:-)



THE PUDDLE (posted on: 05-05-08)
Emotional water retention...

I saw your face today, a fluid reflection. Ripples fanning out from muddy tears. Don't cry my love- my love, my love. It is then the image I see, actually belongs to me. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for THE PUDDLE
Munster on 05-05-2008
THE PUDDLE
Hi Si, is it the image we see or the image we wish to see.

Author's Reply:
Hi Munster,

Who knows?

Maybe one day we will stare into our own puddle?

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

Si:-)


orangedream on 05-05-2008
THE PUDDLE
Your poem sure made me think, Si. As Munster says, is it the image we see or our own interpretation.

A short poem but you say much.

A worthwhile read which I enjoyed.

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Not happy with the end two lines-think they need more-don't flow too good.

Glad you liked it though 🙂

Si:-)

Sunken on 06-05-2008
THE PUDDLE
Hello Mr. Ed. I get this feeling every morning when I'm cutting my chin with disposable razors that were best before December 2004. I blame cut backs. How can razors have a 'best before' date anyway? It's not like you eat them. It's a mad world and no mistake, Mr. Ed. I have given to taking solace in the little things... I just wish girls would do the same (-; Nice one.

s
u
n
k
e
n

his boil in the bag curry failed to impress her

Author's Reply:
Hello my tissue paper faced friend!

I agree with you on the girl bit, if they liked big guts then I would be quids in!

Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment on my lickle piece.

Si:-)

Romany on 07-05-2008
THE PUDDLE
You're back on form I'm pleased to say. Great piece,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Why thank you Sue, for your kind words.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 08-05-2008
THE PUDDLE
Very enigmatic, Si - you pack a lot into very little with this one. Being so short, it's up to us how we interpret the situation, and there are quite a few possibilities! A real thought-provoker.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy, thanks for having a look and a read.

Glad you thought that it had many meanings-still not happy with that ending.

Si:-)



SEVEN MINUTES (posted on: 02-05-08)
A brief encounter at a coffee bar...

M I SEVEN U T E S One- waiter who brings us coffee. Two- people sat opposite to drink. Three- actions lights up a cigarette. Four- bells peal informing the hour. Five- nervous sips to calm nerves. Six- eye contacts made before Seven- minutes passed-gone like you. Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for SEVEN MINUTES
Squiddlydee on 02-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
To me, this read as if three people who had just callously murdered someone ('gone like you') had slipped in to a coffee shop to appear normal. I bit macabre, perhaps, but the minute attention to details, the nervousness, the awareness of other people struck me as super-reality brought about by very heightened senses - the sort of thing I would expect from killers. And where does this take place? Not Blighty, that's for sure, because smoking is banned and if you want to avoid attention, that would be a bad way of going about it. Please pass this advice on to prospective murderers you know.

Author's Reply:
Hello there Squiddlydee,

Ta mucho for reading and commenting. Murderers...interesting. Never occurred to me, but I'm really pleased that you saw this as a possibility in the poem.

Cheers again.

Si:-)


e-griff on 02-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
Another interesting idea - his girl friend's buggered off, or is it a girl he fancied but didn't talk to?

some small queries ... for 'sat', did you mean 'sitting' ?
'actions' doesn't fit the grammatic pattern of the other lines.
for 'peel', perhaps 'peal'

ps: I read and enjoyed the poem before I picked at it 🙂


Author's Reply:
Hi John,

I could use 'sit'...but not sitting. The form of this poem is part of the poem itself. The length of the sentences had to be the same (or just a letter ot two out).

As for 'actions', yeah, I see your point-again it was to get the length correct. As you can see I'm having a go at clean lines in my poems.

And yes it should be 'peal'...sorry.

Glad you liked it though 🙂

Si:-)




e-griff on 02-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
I'm not sure what you mean, Simon.

The lines have different numbers of words, and different numbers of syllables, with no particular rhythmic pattern. So I just read them straight.

Author's Reply:
Sorry John for not explaining correctly.

The lines themselves are not rhythmic and you are correct on all other points.

In this case I am not trying to get word form. I.E. syllables etc I'm after the physical appearance of the piece. I'm into the shape of poems at the moment. This was supposed to be like a coffee mug with other words making up the other side and handle of the mug. It had to line up. It didn't work as I couldn't the bloody thing to format right.

Thanks again John.

Si:-)

Yes it is a straight piece

artisus on 02-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
so this was supposed to be like a coffee mug, cool.

Author's Reply:
Hi there,

Yeah, it was supposed to be like a coffee mug. Using symbols to form the other side of the mug and handle with some wispy steam with the title in the middle...It didn't work and I ran out of time...well couldn't be bothered really.

Si:-)




orangedream on 02-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
Quite an original idea you have here, Si. Please, please be bothered to maybe bring it to perfection. It did work in essence - at least for me. Mind you, one of your fantastic photographic images would really be a bonus. And, as for you running out of time. Nah! You have all the time in the world and there's always next week;-) Have a great holiday weekend, you and yours.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Thank you for reading my dear 🙂

I may have a go later and see if I can sort it out.

Same to you, have a lovely weekend.

Si:-)

Sunken on 04-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
Hello Mr. Ed. Ya know, I blame coffee for my current spate of rashes. Ok, so I have been blaming everything under the sun (including the sun itself). A nice poem that has me craving for yet more coffee. I shall blame you entirely when I am bed ridden and itchy. Good day and no mistake.

s
u
n
k
e
n

it's not sunks, it's the coffee mate talkin'

Author's Reply:
Cheers Sunk.

I'm so sorry to hear of your problem 🙁

Try tea or hot chocolate, if that doesn't work we will have to get you in a CA group, or coat you from head to toe in Camomile lotion.

Si:-)




RoyBateman on 04-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
Clever...much in little, so to speak, and the murder bit mentioned above didn't strike me - but, who knows! There are all sorts of possibilities in this little piece, aren't there? We can all decide which way to go for ourselves, which exercises ze leetle grey cells. Or is it grey seals...who cares, this was a really thought-provoking piece.

Author's Reply:
Hello there Mr Bateman.

Clever, you have pointed that out on a few of my pieces...*rubs chin* Either my wife has paid you vast amounts of money (I'm thinking in the region of at least £4.75) to keep me sweet, or you lead a sheltered life from good poetry...which ever it maybe, I accept your praise whole heartedly sir!

Glad you enjoyed reading Roy and the wife says that the next cheque to you will be posted on Tuesday...

Si:-)




e-griff on 04-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
well, you stole my title, I suddenly remembered!

- Click Here

Author's Reply:
Bloody hell! How long ago is that?

Does that mean you want some dosh for me using your title?

£1.60 be okay?

Si:-)


Emerald on 04-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
Because I have this weird mind, I kept thinking that he would scald his mouth - reminded me of those cheap formica places in the 80's late at night where you went, a little tipsy but not yet ready to go home. I'm not sure if thats what you meant - but its what I thought - so I hope that helps

Emma x


Author's Reply:
Hello Emma, long time my dear, hope you are keeping well?

Yeah, I know the sort of places, bit like a cross between a greasy spoon and a Merrie England coffee house. Well that's what I remember...but to be honest I was only young and always drunk by then 🙂

Actually come to think of it, it could have been my house...

Glad you got something out of it.

Si:-)

e-griff on 04-05-2008
SEVEN MINUTES
well, you were the first person to comment on it, if you look.

Author's Reply:
So I was...read it again and enjoyed it. Did you expand on this piece John?

Si:-)


PEN & PAPER (posted on: 25-04-08)
The pen maybe mightier than the sword...but not in this case.

Dear all, I penned some words today, using an old black biro. Black-it's the factual colour, simply the one to use. Top slightly chewed- giving just a hint of nervous devotion to the written word. A crack in the clear plastic, shows a disregard to its safety- a callous display of temper perhaps? No cover now protects that Roller-ball of imaginings- lost, like so many dreams. Ink, writers blood- spilt fighting profuse word-wars, I too...knowingly, shall also fail to prevail. Yours in highest regards, A. WRITER. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2008 Few edit suggestions, thanks to E-Griff and Little Ditty 🙂 Dear all, I penned some words today, using an old black biro. Black-it's the factual colour, simply the one to use. Top slightly chewed- giving just a hint of nervous devotion to the written word. A crack in the clear plastic, shows a disregard for its safety- a callous display of temper perhaps? No cover now protects that Roller-ball of imaginings- lost, like so many dreams. Ink, writers blood- spilt fighting profuse word-wars, I too...knowingly, may also fail. Yours in highest regards, A. WRITER.
Archived comments for PEN & PAPER
littleditty on 25-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Hi Si -last verse wraps it up well - on this read i thought Disregard ´for´ rather than ´to´?¿ -------> speedy internet nick against the clock xxx

Author's Reply:
Hello there Nic,

Ta for getting back in touch 🙂

Glad you managed to just get in a comment before your Internet went off!

Thank you for reading and for the suggestion.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 25-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Hi Si, the simple biro comes of age.. I never go anywhere without one, in case inspiration strike; sadly it doesn't these days! Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Nice to hear form you again, thank you for taking the time to pop by and comment.

I know what you mean regarding inspiration-The problem with my eyes and this is the first bit of writing in months. Not great but hopefully it will lead to more.

Ta again,

Si:-)

orangedream on 25-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
I really like this one Si - particularly the 4th stanza and that line, 'roller-ball of imaginings'. An 'ink - writer's blood' you never said a truer word!

Original, as all your stuff, and the picture says it all. Nice one.

Have a peaceful weekend and it's great to have you back in the fold.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Glad you enjoyed-it's not the best in the world, but for the first thing in months it's not too bad.

Thanks for looking over it too.

Si:-)

margot on 25-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
like it - that veneer of the melancholy over the misleading ordinariness of he objects and the acts. Nice. Margot

Author's Reply:
Hello Margot,

Most kind to pop in and leave a comment, thank you.

In this age of computers I wanted to go back to just using a pen-the pen is a character itself, although the words tell the story of the pen the description of the state of the pen tells the story...I think lol!

Si:-)

royrodel on 25-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
will you send them by plane or bike
to your lover in the depth of night?

Yes there's a lot to be said by pen and paper.
I reckon I have twelve volumes.

then someone bought me a dictaphone.

RODEL

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Cheers mate for reading and commenting.

As I put in my reply to Margot, the computer and Dictaphone tend to replace the scribblings-wanted to show the frustration with the pen showing the signs of this frustration.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


artisus on 26-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
nice poem, the last two strophes are the best in my opinion

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic,

Thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

Glad you liked my first write in months-The frustration felt by myself and no doubt many others too.

Thank you again, means a lot.

Si:-)




margot on 26-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
yes the pen does tell the story - as if it were the central character.

Author's Reply:
YEAH!



I know most people (yourself included) would have picked up on that, but as it's only my second piece of subbed work this year-not too good with the old eyes and to be honest I totally dried up, am a bit paranoid of my writing. Glad it worked.



Ta again,



Si:-)

SugarMama34 on 26-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Hi Si,

Liked this short poem of yours, especially the descriptions and thoughts of the biro half chewed - reminds me of me when I'm in deep thought. I guess many of us will relate to this. Enjoyed the way you wrote this, each stanza spoke of something different. Hope m help in some way. :0)

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Lis,



Many thank yous for reading and leaving a comment.



I think you're right, many people will relate to this-the battle to get something in your mind and then to get it down on paper.

Glad you enjoyed reading.

Si:-)




RoyBateman on 27-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Good to see you posting again, Si - it's been too long, as the actress NEVER said to the bishop. Boom, boom... Particularly liked the neat "word wars" - maybe that's what we're all fighting, with no idea of what it's all about, or who's going to emerge triumphant. (If anyone.) Just like the real thing, eh? Anyway, juat get that battered pen scribbling again!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Thanking you sir for stopping by and reading.

It's not a great piece by any standard-just thought it conveyed my lost ...er...I've forgotten lol.

You know what I'm on about! If you do, can you let me know?

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)



Sunken on 27-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Nice poem, nice graphic. Good to see ya back Mr. Eddie. Why has everyone made a comeback this week? Is there something I've missed, like a bus? And another thing, do they still make Skol lager? I've not seen it for ages.

s
u
n
k
e
n

it must have been love

Author's Reply:
Long time no see my Sunken friend.

I don't know why people are making a comeback, let's hope in my case it lasts lol.

And you missing the bus...never, you always go by taxi don't you?

And yes, they do still make Skol lager-it is brewed by Carlsberg-Tetley-interesting fact about Carlsberg-JC Jacobsen founded the brewery near Copenhagen and named it Carlsberg after 'Carl' his son and 'Berg' which is Danish for bacon...sorry...hill.

Ta again Sunk for stopping by and hope that munky of yours is behaving himself?

Si:-)




Romany on 27-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Nice piece, looking at the pen as the 'middle man!'

Author's Reply:
Mmmmm, that's an interesting view point Sue, not thought of that.

Most kind to read and comment, thank you.

Si:-)


Munster on 27-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Hi, there, yeah enjoyed reading this, I wonder how many of us have nearly swallowed the end of the pen, its the only tool for the job though.
You can hardly chew your laptop whilst in deep thought.

Author's Reply:
Hi there Munster,

Too true, nibbling away on your laptop will probably invalidate the warranty lol.

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

Si:-)


woodbine on 27-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
On some level the poem suggests that the battered biro represents your alterego. Coming up with such a sharp analogy suggests you are a much better writer than you think you are.
Best wishes,
John

Author's Reply:
Hi John,
Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read my piece.

You could be right, regarding what you say. I'm not over confidant, especially at the moment and appreciate your words. I think many writers go through this more than once in their lives.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


e-griff on 28-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
I think this is very good indeed. 'disregard to its safety' caught my eye as well - maybe of its safety/for its safety, of safety, for safety?

and in the last verse, I think you are overcomplicating what should be a short, clean punch line - so I'd delete 'to prevail' . Also I'd inject a note of interest, rather than bleak acceptance, by saying 'may also fail.' not 'will'. I think that would change the poem positively.




Author's Reply:
Hi John,



Pleased you enjoyed my write.



Thanks for the suggestions-going to put a edit version up beneath mine. Liked the sharpness of the ending you suggested.



Ta again.



Si:-)




e-griff on 28-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
well, I hope you will accept this rare 'Griffpick' from me..

Photobucket

Author's Reply:
Most kind John, thank you very much.

Si:-)

eddiesolo on 28-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Thank you whoever nominated this piece for UKA Anthologies.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

margot on 28-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
ah the beauty of language and the power of words - the ending suggested is perfect.

Author's Reply:
I agree Margot, more rounded and gives a more positive view to the piece.

Si:-)


len on 29-04-2008
PEN & PAPER
Lovely tribute to that battered tool of the creative act. I'm almost ashamed to admit that since I discovered computers, nothing is ever put on paper anymore. All my stuff is now 1's and 0's... :o)...len

Author's Reply:
Hi Len,

Ta for reading and leaving a comment.

The actual involvement of putting pen to paper, I think, is a art form-the strokes of the pen etc. But as you say now we have computers-sign of the times.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


FEMME (posted on: 07-01-08)
About a woman 🙂 I spent more time on the pic than I did on the poem...it probably shows as I started getting painful eyes and couldn't concentrate (most likely from over doing the picture, simple as it is.). I wanted it rhyming yet in an odd beat way, no idea if it worked, please do tell. To be honest I have just tinkered with it and think I may have messed it up...will leave it now as I just haven't got the energy. Si:-)

The fortunes of innocence mean nothing even if you get caught- lipstick, hairspray sought and bought. You ready yourself with looks- tight clothes- But not too much as you- want to expose. Stealing away to parties to dance the night away. Smooching-a cheery kiss leading many astray. I want what you have become heart beats against sternum- ready to burst through taken over by your voodoo. Gladly I follow in lover's stupor as you click heels, fingers snapping like a gator. Loosing myself in the funk of dance. To be in motion to your romance- puts me into a catatonic trance. Lost in erotic space- A vacuum gasp escapes with your airless grace. You wink and walk into the night And I realise our time is very much- finite Maybe next time you will be mine ...but that is for another rhyme. Pic & poem Simon Murphy 2008
Archived comments for FEMME
e-griff on 07-01-2008
FEMME
You are getting frisky young Simon!

I understood all of this except:

But not too much as you-
want to expose.

keep going!



Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Most kind to pop in and have a look.

'But not too much as you-
want to expose.'

The idea was that the women was scantily clad-maybe it didn't come across too good.

Thanks again for your support.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 07-01-2008
FEMME
Great poem AND pic, Si - this would make a cracking book cover, wouldn't it? Very intriguing. I can understand why it took so long!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Ta muchly for reading me old mate! Glad you enjoyed the poem and for thinking that the pic would make a good cover 🙂

Do you think the pic works with the poem?

Si:-)

Jolen on 09-01-2008
FEMME
Hi Si:

I think the picture was worth the trouble as it turned out great and I really enjoyed the poem. I do feel it is very effective.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hello there Jolen 🙂

Many thank yous for reading and leaving a comment.

Glad you liked the pic and enjoyed the poem.

Hope your okay and that your not getting blown away with the wind?

Si:-)


EDDIE THE ALCKIE (posted on: 24-12-07)
Just a bit of fun-inspired by my photo that the school (where I work) takes and it goes on a board. I looked like a proper drunk, ruddy cheeks and crossed eyes. Even I wouldn't have trusted myself with the kids! Now where is that brown paper bag? Sing it to 'FROSTY THE SNOWMAN'.

Eddie the alckie Was not a jolly happy soul With an old tab-end a drinkers nose And eyes that seemed to roll Eddie the alckie Is a miserable sod they say He smells of rum And the children come To taunt him everyday There must have been no liquor In the old bottle that he found For when he placed it to his lips He began to dance around Eddie the alckie Was livid as he could be And the children heard him Curse and shout Cos that bottle was full of pee Eddie the alckie Knew the police was out that day So he said 'I'll run' 'Let the buggers come' 'They'll never take me away!' Down to the village With a bottle in his hand Staggering here and there, puking in the square Saying 'catch me if you can' He led them down the streets of town Right to the traffic cop And he only paused a moment when The string in his pants when pop Eddie the alckie Had to shuffle on his way But he forked goodbye Slurring 'dddon't youssssssssss cryyyyy' 'I'llI'llbe back again sssssssssssomeeeeeee dayyyyyyyyyyy' Merry effing Chrisssssssstmassssssssss-you're a real mate you are *hick*. Simon Murphy 2007 Original Frosty The Snowman written by Jack Nelson & Steve Rollins.
Archived comments for EDDIE THE ALCKIE
Gerry on 24-12-2007
EDDIE THE ALCKIE
Have you been at that bottle already Simon? 😉

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
YES!

Thanks for reading my silly piece.

Si:-)

orangedream on 24-12-2007
EDDIE THE ALCKIE
Haven't we all - been at the bottle already. I've just sunk my pinta for today - milk that is!

Good to see you subbing, Si. Hope all is well.

I wish you and yours a peaceful Christmas and a New Year that keeps on an even keel.

All best wishes,
Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina for wishing me and my family well, same to you and yours.

Back to the hospital on the 28th for an MRI scan...joy 🙁

Ta again for reading.

Si:-)

SugarMama34 on 25-12-2007
EDDIE THE ALCKIE
Hi Si,

A good little poem from yuh and a humerous one to boot. It made me laugh and liked the imagery to this too. I think we all have certain memory's of times like these. I've sunk a few over Christmas too, not quite as many as I'd like though.
Hope you have a great Christmas Simon and 2008 is a good year for you and your family.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:
Not as many as you like, it's only boxing day! Have one for me, in truth I don't drink much.

Hope you and yours have a lovely holidays.

Si:-)


AN INCANDESCENT MAN (posted on: 24-12-07)
Maybe an energy saving fella would work better?

ON F F ON F F ON F F U- FLICKING, SWITCHING MAKING Y FILAMENT GLOW H THE A T OF PASSION B U R N BURNS U R N S UNTIL, FINALLY ONE DAY POP! Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for AN INCANDESCENT MAN
littleditty on 24-12-2007
AN INCANDESCENT MAN
really? i dont know wheter to congratualate you or not on this latest effort! Fun write Si -good to see you posting, and to actually manage to say - hello! - happy and very, very merry Christmas to you and your family...however many there may be... lol - hope you are well, xxldxx

Author's Reply:
You can do what ever you want LD, you know that!



The idea behind this piece was a bloke pawing hell out of his girlfriend in the lighting section of B&Q.



Thank you for the Christmas greeting and wishing me and family well, same to you my dear and take care in 2008.



Si:-)

Gerry on 24-12-2007
AN INCANDESCENT MAN
Simon, why not, why not? it is Christmas after all-- everything should be forgiven 😉
Have a great Christmas...
Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Gerry for reading and commenting.

Indeed all should be forgiven and smiles instead of frowns.

Hope you have had a wonderful Xmas day and are enjoying your Christmas?

By the way, was it not the extension or the kitchen you were building? Did you finish it/them in time for crimble?

Thanks again mate.

Si:-)




RoyBateman on 28-12-2007
AN INCANDESCENT MAN
Very witty, Si - shame you had to go off pop at the end, though...not too soon, I hope? Anyway, hope you're having a good festive season up there!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy, sorry it's been a while...hope you had a great Xmas and are having a good New Year.

Thanks for reading and I'll pop off now...who's turned the light off?

Si:-)


WINGED WITNESSES (posted on: 05-11-07)
With remembrance Sunday soon upon us. Not all fell in battle.

As dawn dispels the dark- it lays to rest the nightmarish ghouls that invaded my mind. I'm more alive now- this morning this moment. Stupid as that may seem, my eyes take in a world afresh. Grass, so lush. Dew, so wet. Scents of the earth, fill me as if newborn. As the resonance of six men surround me I weep. Not for my fate- but for the birds that will bear witness. Picture & Poem Simon Murphy 2007. This piece may sound like the brave young man going to his death, but in truth, many where given Morphine or alcohol a few hours before. This is still a sore point amongst the British Legion regarding pardons, some young men shot were rogues-repeat offenders, but many were just shell-shocked frightened boys. Dedicated to all the fallen, and again, I can only hope that mankind will one day sort out his differences and live in peace.
Archived comments for WINGED WITNESSES
Jen_Christabel on 05-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
Very poignant, and so nicely written.
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jennifer, for your kind words-glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Gerry on 05-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
Simon, I understand your sentiments fully. It is hard to comprehend the situation.

Well done on your poem and graphic...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry, thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts.

Yep, so hard to comprehend-another time and a different set of values-still wrong.

Si:-)

ruadh on 05-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
Thought provoking Simon, well done.

ailsa

Author's Reply:
Hi Ailsa, thanks for reading and leaving a lovely comment.

Much appreciate you reading.

Si:-)

Bradene on 05-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
This is so touching Si and very well written I liked the illustration too A great piece Val x

Author's Reply:
Hello Val, many thanks for reading and I'm so glad that you thought this a fitting piece.

Thank you again and for the rate-most kind.

Si:-)

orangedream on 05-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
The last stanza, Si, I found the most poignant and oh, so true.

Lest we forget.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina, thanks for taking the time to read my little offering.
Glad you thought it okay!

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 06-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
A very neat and poignant twist at the end there, Si. Brought a lump to the throat! Yes, I agree - I've just read what's possibly the first full account of every WW1 execution, and you're quite correct...most were murderers, and a very high percentage weren't British, either. (Chinese Labour Corps, etc.) But some will always be controversial, because the procedures - humane in theory - weren't followed, and a few are simply inexplicable given the long chain of safeguards up to the C-in-C himself. Wrong place, wrong time... Incidentally, as I know your interest in military history - did you know that in WW1 the German Army didn't execute anyone for desertion, etc.? Not one, as opposed to 300+ British (And many more French...) In WW2, the British Army executed none, the German thousands. Literally, but you knew that! Odd, eh??

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy, thanks mate for reading and commenting.

You're spot on that other than British soldiers were most likely to be shot-The Irish were 4 times more likely to be convicted and shot than British soldiers-barmy. And it is funny that the roles were reversed for both wars-a little similarity between regimes? Not saying that the British in WW1 were Nazi's but...many German's in WWII were shot on 'defeatist' crap. Same could be said that the British acted in a similar way-paranoia that soldiers running would show that the army was poor. Not poor the leadership was poor. Actually I'm reading a book at the moment that shows Hitler's thinking in the middle to the latter stages of the war went back to WW1 trench warfare-I.E his 'fight to the death' speeches. Whatever-still a waste.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Jolen on 06-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
A very strong and as others rightly say, stirring poem. I am glad you posted this and also, I have learned something. Thank you.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen-hope you enjoyed you're first Bonfire night?

Thank you for taking the time to read and the wonderful comment.

Si:-)

teifii on 06-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
It's such a sad extra to a sad history and you portray it well.
I wonder what the logic was to executing foreigners for not fighting in the British army. One would think that even raving patriots who thought a Briton was honour bound to fight for his country could hardly apply the same principle to those who were not British.

Don't get me onto this.
Daff

http://www.merilang.co.uk/gallery/books/shop.merilang.htm

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff, what logic? There is no logic in going to kill someone-full stop. I applaud our soldiers for the courage to fight for something with honour, but just wish that we could do without the fighting bit.

Strange as I have a vast collection of military history books-from planes to tactics etc. I do enjoy reading about it lol. If nobody fought then I wouldn't have the books! Does that make me a hypocrite?

Thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)




delph_ambi on 07-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
An excellent poem. Moving and truthful.

(Last line, you need 'bear', not 'bare'.)

Author's Reply:
Hi Delph,

Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
Glad you enjoyed reading and thanks for the heads-up on the 'bear'

Si:-)

Griffonner on 07-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
Excellent, Si. Very clever slant, I feel.

Author's Reply:
Hi Allen,

Thanks mate for the great comment-glad you enjoyed reading.

Si:-)

teifii on 07-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
Hi Si,
Yes, the whole idea of sending men to kill each other and shooting them if they don't is stupid, cruel and a disgrace.
But if [a big if that I don't subscribe to] it is treason and unpatriotic to refuse to fight on the side of your country, I would have thought that for a Chinese it would only be treason to refuse to fight for China. The military seem to want it all ways. You're British, so if you don't fight for Britain you are no patriot. On the other hand look what happens if you are Iraqi and you fight for Iraq.
It is a mad world and it looks like carry on to ever more insanity.
Daff
I did say don't get me started 🙂


Author's Reply:
Yep-I agree Daff, what a mad world we live it.

Sorry I got you started lol!

Si:-)


teifii on 07-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
Hi Si,
Yes, the whole idea of sending men to kill each other and shooting them if they don't is stupid, cruel and a disgrace.
But if [a big if that I don't subscribe to] it is treason and unpatriotic to refuse to fight on the side of your country, I would have thought that for a Chinese it would only be treason to refuse to fight for China. The military seem to want it all ways. You're British, so if you don't fight for Britain you are no patriot. On the other hand look what happens if you are Iraqi and you fight for Iraq.
It is a mad world and it looks like carry on to ever more insanity.
Daff
I did say don't get me started 🙂


Author's Reply:
TA-AGAIN!

Si:-)

teifii on 07-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES

PS No I don't reckon it makes yo a hypocrite. If it did then all crime fiction readers would be either criminals or hypocrites.


Author's Reply:
Tis a true statement you have provided-thanks for that 🙂

Si:-)

Romany on 07-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
I never knew about the use of sedatives before hand. I suppose in a way, it was a kindness. Poor souls, you do well to remmeber them Si,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hello my dear,
A big thank you for talking the time to read and leave me a comment.

Thanks.

Si:-)


Kenart on 12-11-2007
WINGED WITNESSES
Poignant is all we can say. Stupid is all anyone can say. Beautifully written is all I can say. Ken

Author's Reply:
Hi Ken,

Thank you so much for reading and leaving a wonderful comment.

Much appreciate it mate.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


MEUS DILIGO PAPILION (posted on: 29-10-07)
I wanted to try my hand at visual words-like my: The One...The Ego...The self

Oh,Yet, silent lady the time we who fluttershave is measured, on silken breaths, in days, hours and to a heart that beatsminutes. A second like an errant drummer. B cannot be wasted for With a sensual elegance,Usoon your cloak will you, with black, gloss-Tfade as the Sunflower gloves stroke my T sets. We take a final nerves into a tap- E stroll around the dancing fury. Probing R Cosmos, hemmed by ever deeper into my F Queen Anne's Lace. soul, I surrender to L And we dance the your sweet, Y dance of the nectar kiss. butterfly. Poem Simon Murphy 2007 Inspired by the picture below, taken by Jo Murphy 2007
Archived comments for MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
e-griff on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
This is very nice, young Si - you've been taking 'elegant' lessons, haven't you? I thought it flowed well, was expressive, complete and rather pleasing 🙂



Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Ta for reading and leaving a comment-glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

PS Thanks for the PM.

e-griff on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
well, I like this, so I hope you will accept this wee tribute
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Author's Reply:
Most kind John, a Griff pick of my very own!

Thanking you again.

Si:-)

Ta again for the other PM 🙂

artisus on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
excellent, top visual synthesis.

Author's Reply:
Hi Artisus-so glad that you enjoyed reading.

Thank you for the rate and for picking it as a hot story-means a lot.

Si:-)

Jolen on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Very creative, and as E-griff said, elegant. I am much impressed, Si.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Why thank you Jolen for reading and commenting.

I've impressed you! *runs around room shouting*

Ta again my dear-means a lot that you like it.

Si:-)

Bootylicious on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Lovely visual imagery. Like the use of the butterfly shape too. When I was a teacher I used to tell the kids that poetry is painting with words - you've just made my point on two counts.

Very elegant

Booty

Author's Reply:
Hello there Booty, I agree that poetry is painting in words-I work in a school and use wordings like you in assemblies to get the poetry point across.

Glad you liked it and thank you for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Kenart on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Lovely and delicate. Like your Queen Anne Lace. Regards Ken

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ken, for taking the time to read and comment.

Pleased that you enjoyed it.

Queen Ann's Lace (Daucus Carota) or wild carrot and Cosmos (Cosmos Sulphureus) are plants that butterflies frequent. They fitted well into the poem.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


Romany on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Very cleverly and delicately done. Nice work!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thanking you Sue, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Ionicus on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
A lovely poem which does justice to the illustration which inspired it. Very nicely and skilfully done.

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi, thank you for your lovely comment and the rate.

The pic is taken by my wife-who is a photographer. I think it's wonderful.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

orangedream on 29-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
A poem as delicate and beautiful as a butterfly's wings.

Your very special poem ... a delight to the ear as well as to the eye.

You and your wife are a very special team, but hey ... I guess you know that by now, the pair of you.

Tina 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,





What a lovely comment, ta to you for reading!





Yes, we are a good team-doesn't mean that we don't row now and again, of course I'm always right, not her 🙂





Thank you for thinking this is special.





Si:-)





PS thanks for the rate too!

RoyBateman on 30-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Extremely well-crafted, Si! Very sensuous, I thought, and visual in more than one sense.
ps Nice piccie of the tortie, too!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy, glad you like the piccie-I think it's wonderful.

Thank you for the lovely comment and taking the time to read it.

Si:-)


teifii on 30-10-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Very clever. Tricky to do, I think. At first I didn't know which way to read -- down twice or across. But the problem was just that I always increase the text size so that I can read without glasses and that threw it out. It's lovely and Jo's pic too.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff, ta for reading and commenting.

The original was in word yet copied differently when on UKA.
Lot's of faffing to get it right-but worth it I think.

Glad you managed to sort out the reading and hope it didn't strain you're eyes too much 🙂

Thanks again for enjoying the poem and the picture.

Take care.

Si:-)


Bradene on 01-11-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Loved this Si, I once did something similar in the shape of a fish, but this is so much better. top write. Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Glad you enjoyed reading my little gentle winged poem.

Thank you again and ta for the rate too!

Si:-)


Jen_Christabel on 02-11-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
A creative and visually stunning piece, nicely done.
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Hello Jennifer, most kind of you for stopping by, reading and leaving me a rate.

Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Gerry on 02-11-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Simon, This was super poetry elevated by your chosen format, and the lovely picture. Butterflies are really special 😉

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Gerry, what a wonderful comment-I appreciate your kind words.

Beautiful creatures as they seem to flit upon whispers.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

SugarMama34 on 02-11-2007
MEUS DILIGO PAPILION
Hi Simon,

I thought that this was a romantic piece. The words and phrases you chose I thought were beautiful and expressed well. It's a creative write in all aspects. I have read a few of your pieces, but have to say that this is my fave. You and your wife are quite talented, the photograph she took is great. It shows nature in it's true beauty.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Lis, for your wonderful comment-means a lot to me when people get something out of my work.

I thank you again for taking the time to read this and my other works-noticed that you had commented on a few before 🙂

Although my wife is a professional photographer, she has 'lost the passion' (her words) for photography-which is a real shame because I think if she got more motivated she could really turn out some cracking pics. And between you and me, *leans closer* my missus beats me hands down for talent 🙂

Ta again.

Si:-)



ACCEPTANCE (posted on: 19-10-07)
Are we searching for God? Or Are we searching ourselves?

Searching for divinity takes on several forms: A man seeking truth in grey tombstones- hoping its occupant beneath, holds the answers to life. A woman scaling spires hoping to catch a word with God- if she can find him hiding behind the clouds. A child who looks into the eyes of Jesus- and just simply accepts, what is. Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for ACCEPTANCE
Jen_Christabel on 19-10-2007
ACCEPTANCE
This is so true Eddie. Another nice piece!
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer,

Ta mucho for reading.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Gerry on 19-10-2007
ACCEPTANCE
Simon, A bit unusual for you I think, But I liked it in its simplicity. Nice little poem...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Yeah, just popped in my head!

Thanks for reading.

Si:-)


A MAROONED MIND (posted on: 19-10-07)
Is he going to kill his mother or harm himself? Or maybe there is more to it...you decide.

Barefooted creeper, shadow stalking along a landing of threadbare-faded flowers. Dark hours determine my final destination-a bedroom of secrets- sordid, silly, stifled by simplicity. Mothers room. Laying in greyness-eyes make out breasts that quiver with a lead heart. Mother-my provider and support, yet as I look at her mask-like face, I see for the first time-reality. No faked smiles. No forced lipped ''I love you.'' No hideous, malformed contortions of a woman in despair. Tonight, I whisper to you dearest mother: ''Night, night, sleep tight don't let the bed-bugs bite.'' Picture & poem Simon Murphy 2007 Sorry about the ugly mug pic...tis me, and no, it's not a handle bar moustache:-)
Archived comments for A MAROONED MIND
Jen_Christabel on 19-10-2007
A MAROONED MIND
This was fab and would make a great story.
Nicely done Eddie.
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jen-Yeah, it would make a good story-I know you're into creepy stuff why don't you expand it?

Ta for the rate too.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 20-10-2007
A MAROONED MIND
Yes, you can take it one of several ways - clever, eh? I prefer, I think, to take it as less sinister than it at first appears...just a very sad situation. Good one, Si - gets us thinking, and that can't be bad!
ps If that's your barber, kindly cancel my appointment.

Author's Reply:
So you don't want a quick trim?

Glad it got you thinking Roy, many situations are not what they first seem...or are they?

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Gerry on 20-10-2007
A MAROONED MIND
Simon, I see it like Roy, could be taken in different ways.
A clever poem,---love the pic lol.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Gerry for reading.

Glad you liked it and the pic.

Si:-)

teifii on 24-10-2007
A MAROONED MIND
I reckon he's definitely got a knife in hand.
Daff
http://www.merilang.co.uk/gallery/books/shop.merilang.htm

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff,

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

69-96 on 03-11-2007
A MAROONED MIND
From what I can make out eddie' you must be potty or in need of alcohol. There is as much poetry in your personal page as I can manage. LOL And coming from Dewsbury I can understand why! I live in Queensbury but then where the hell is that? I hear you ask. You simply see your Mum as she sleeps and we all are as we really are when slumbering. The knife? well I think it is to hide you molars. Good imaginative poetry.

Author's Reply:
Hello there 69-96, a potty poet? Sounds about right lol.

I take it you're from the Queensbury-originally called Queenshead, above Clayton? The Black Dyke band etc. Lovely part of Yorkshire I think...better than Dewsbury for looks lol.

As for the knife hiding my molars? Nope-just hiding my bad breath lol.

Thank you for the generous rate and taking the time to read.

Si:-)







SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX! (posted on: 15-10-07)
An emotionally stunted, sex-maniac may find that sex, sex, nothing but sex-is going to cost him... Contains the F-word.

A cantilever Casanova- feet braced just this side of emotion. Suspended, gravity defying sex- won via a Gigalo nonchalance. A fuckso gusto- rhythmic-pelvic, seismic-rollick! Arousing detachment- never say- ''Call me.'' Or ''See you again.'' And the words of Beelzebub- "I love you.'' Are a no, no, no! For all his encounters and sexual exploits- he teeters on the edge of his own span of loneliness. As his soul, sexily simmers with syphilis. Beneath him- Satan awaits for the ultimate fornication. You're fucked pal! Picture & poem Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX!
Hazy on 15-10-2007
SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX!
That'll teach him not to use a condom lol.

Nice one (well, if you can call it 'nice'! ;-)), Si!

I'd take off the 'f-word' warning. We're all adults (in body) and I really don't think you should have to censor your work. I think the title's enough to get the gist lol!

Plenty of people like this around. Sometimes it's cos they just love it :-p, other times it's sadder and it's cos they need to be loved/adored/intimate without the emotional attachment of a relationship. Some people are unable to form them. Either way, I guess the girls are 'fucked' :-/

Take care,

Hazy x

Author's Reply:
Hello Hazy,

Ta for reading-take off the F-word warning! I can't do that, it would be far too irresponsible of me-just a soft sod really-I suppose I don't want to upset anybody lol.

I think many people can have a relationship like this and make it work-but for many it is all about me, me, me, take, take, take. I think you can read many layers into this poem, well that is what I was hoping anyway 🙂

Si:-)


orangedream on 16-10-2007
SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX!
Si - A brilliant write, in my book anyway and well deserving of the nom! It seems you have bounced back to top form and I am so pleased for you.

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hello my dear *waves*

Thank you for the great comment...I do bounce, but that's cos I'm fat 🙂

Glad you like it.

Si:-)

teifii on 16-10-2007
SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX!
Well deserved nomination! It's funny and serious at the same time. Wonderful new slant on Hell fire.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff,

Most kind for taking the time to read and comment, much appreciated.

Glad you enjoyed reading 🙂

Si:-)




writeagain on 17-10-2007
SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX!
Be Warned!

I know this guy. The triple devils of drink, drugs and, especially sex, sat on his shoulder. Then he fell in love and got married. Then he was fucked over by his wife. Then he got ill and now he's old. He's a lost soul without friends. No-one wants to know him.



Author's Reply:
Hello Elizabeth,

Thanking you for taking the time to read my piece and leave a comment.

Yep-that's one way of looking at it. Nothing wrong with loads of sex-just depends on whom it's with.

Liked the bit regarding his marriage-in the end his wife did the dirty on him.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 17-10-2007
SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX!
What's it all about, Eddie? Geddit, eh? I didn't see that ending in advance - ooh, nasty. Not exactly the result anyone would want, is it? Fucked indeed, in the most painful way! Good one, Si, though certainly not a comfortable one...I reckon my tame lifestyle may not be so bad after all!

Author's Reply:
Hello Roy, most kind of you to take a look and leave a comment.

Yep, I agree my lifestyle is pretty much tame and to be honest...I'm glad. The fun and frolics have a tendency to bite back!

Cheers again.

Si:-)


69-96 on 18-10-2007
SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX!
Never did like the 'F' word eddie, but the poem is very good and cheeky with it. You are, obviously, just another sex maniac and I don't blame you for that malady. LOL

Author's Reply:
I think the F-word if used correctly is fine-I tend to use swear words if I feel they add something to a piece. Me a sex maniac? I wish...got to the stage in my life where a good cuppa and the feet up watching telly wins hands down.

Cheers for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Jolen on 28-10-2007
SEX, SEX, NOTHING BUT SEX!
Loved this, Si and glad to see it nominated. You are hitting on all 8 my dear, and speaking of 8... oh no, sorry, I digress. lol


blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi there girl *waves like mad*

Ta mucho for reading and commenting-hitting on all 8? Do you mean cylinders? If so my motor is a 16V...vroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom baby!

And speaking of 8...oh, no, I digress...sounds naughty to me...do tell 🙂

Si:-)


THREE LITTLE WORDS (posted on: 12-10-07)
Stick to the facts man!

Complication of moulted emotions- transmitted this way and that, but never directed with true direction. Like the vacuum of space I sap the energy of swirling suns- leaving lifeless worlds in my wake. Rusty tears gild a featureless face of defeated steel, a scrap-yard inanity awaiting the crushers giggling maw. It is what I deserve for 'bleating without a hush'- never to sit and confront...me and you. Learn with conciseness, three words I will master- I... ...LOVE... ...YOU. Simplicity is the greatest form of expression. Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for THREE LITTLE WORDS
orangedream on 13-10-2007
THREE LITTLE WORDS
I agree with you, hands down, Si. 'Simplicity is the greatest form of expression.'

Another piece, passionately written.

All the best,
Tina


Author's Reply:
Simple-just like me 😉

Thanking you for reading and commenting-to be honest I was afraid to sub, am extremely unsure of my poetry at the moment.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)


silversun on 13-10-2007
THREE LITTLE WORDS
This is worth reading for that fourth line alone, Si. Like that.
James

Author's Reply:
Most kind James, thank you so much for reading and commenting.

Glad you like that line.

Si:-)


Gerry on 14-10-2007
THREE LITTLE WORDS
Simon, I can see you put some effort into this -- I think it worked okay. Some good lines...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Hope the book publishing isn't getting you down and you are closer to sorting it out?

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Jolen on 22-10-2007
THREE LITTLE WORDS
Great to see you back, Si and your work is as strong as ever. I enjoyed this a great deal.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much...'my three little words to you'...oh, hang on sorry that's four 🙂

Right got it....MUCH YOU THANK! *bows head*

Glad you liked it-you're lovely to me *blushes*

Si 😉


OPEN ALL HOURS (posted on: 12-10-07)
A poem about the people on the streets...

Mr Misfit in the social pecking order, a nomad in a concrete wasteland, fingerless gloves hunt bins crammed with the debris of humanity. Searching for comfort, a discarded day with page three stunners, no time to scrutinize 'current affairs' nor to find footy results. BEGGAR MAN 0 SUBURBAN SOCIETAL 1 Blanket of ink, stuffed into flaky, holey shoes- worn out heels hobble drunkenly, trying not to get stranded in orange sodium glow, for that would STREETLIGHT- shows us unsavoury dimensions to reality. SPOTLIGHT- pinpoints a civilised country with deficiencies. HIGHLIGHT- peoples ignorance to not of their ilk. Snubbed by the good. Tormented by the bad. While the rest gorge on crap telly and take-away chicken wings- Mr Misfit wanders the open all hours. Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for OPEN ALL HOURS
reckless on 12-10-2007
OPEN ALL HOURS
I'm not sure who I'd rather be - Mr Misfit or one of the 'rest'! probably neither. It's a bit of a bleak view of humanity this, though not undeserved. maybe that's what society in the West has come to - page 3, takeaways, footie, getting pissed and not much else. Brave New World eh?!

Author's Reply:
Hi Reckless, thanks for reading and leaving a comment. It is a bleak outlook but unfortunately true. Many homeless are homeless from their own doing-drink etc, but far more are cast aside and unable to fit in.



Second piece from me regarding this situation as I see many, keeping out of the way as if afraid of us 'normal' citizens.



Thanks again for your interest.



Si:-)




RoyBateman on 13-10-2007
OPEN ALL HOURS
Well-observed little piece, Si - we all know characters like this, though maybe "know" isn't the right word. Are there more than there used to be, or are they simply more visible? And could it ever be us? I hope not, but with family bonds weaker than ever we can't rule anything out. Not a cheerful post, but certainly a thought-provoking one!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Thanks for looking and commenting.

Second piece from me on this topic 'Bobblehat Joe' my first piece was about the man-this was more the act.

I agree that we never know what can happen, we all could end up searching a bin for some comfort.

Thanks again.

Si:-)




orangedream on 13-10-2007
OPEN ALL HOURS
Good to see you posting again, Si. A strong piece, as has been said. A poem told in your inimitable style. It sure did make me think.

Warm regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Nice to Tina...to Tina nice! *does bad Brucie impression*

'A poem told in your inimitable style'-didn't know I had one lol. Unsure of my writing at the mo 🙂

Glad you liked it, even though it is a tad bleak.

Si:-)




Bradene on 14-10-2007
OPEN ALL HOURS
Good, hard to take observations here Si, I thought the layout was excellent. Val x
PS I hope you are feeling much better and that things have turned out OK.

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Yeah, not very happy reading is it lol?

Still on going with my eyes I'm afraid, next appointment in November. Thanks for asking 🙂

Si:-)


Gerry on 14-10-2007
OPEN ALL HOURS
Simon, this was certainly different and thought provoking.
A good job we cannot see into the future...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
But, if we could see into the future, could we change the outlook?

Still a pity in this country of ours, and many other civilised countries, that money and help are so thin for people who live on the streets night after night.

Ta mucho for reading and commenting Gerry.

Si:-)





teifii on 14-10-2007
OPEN ALL HOURS
Very accurate observation of something we mostly try not to notice -- I suppose because we don't know what we can do about it. But we shouldn't turn away. Society [which is us] shouldn't turn away.
The neon light in this seems to have a really nasty power.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff,



Thanking you for taking the time to a gander and leave a comment.



You're spot on that many (myself included) have turned away from a beggars hand. The suspicion that they are all drinkers and druggies-maybe true in a lot of cases, but why are they? Do we ever really want to find out? A lot could be that life is just too hard and complicated for them to cope-so they are labeled 'thickies' and end up shunned by people who think a pasty from Greg's at lunchtime is worth more than a few words. Saying that the opposite side to this coin is that I have in the past offered some small talk to a homeless man who took a fag off me, £3.00 in change and then told me to go fuck myself and threatened to smash my head in! Not surprising that many folk are shy about wanting to talk.



Thanks again.



Si:-)





A PUNISHED PILGRIM (posted on: 24-09-07)
Hi guys and gals...bet ya missed me? This poem has been sat in my to publish thingy for ages, another heart break one I'm afraid:-). There are two pics, one is normal just tinkered with the other has a bluish tinge-I like the blueish tinge myself. It's not a great piece as I was, and still am struggling to write stuff. Si:-)


Archived comments for A PUNISHED PILGRIM
e-griff on 24-09-2007
A PUNISHED PILGRIM
welcome back, young Simon.

It was a bit hard to read, but I pervesered! 🙂

Author's Reply:
Cheers John, for reading. I agree it is hard to read and to be honest, I don't think the pic works too well.
I found this piece on my HDD and wondered what the hell I had done with it, only when I logged in did I find it sitting waiting to be published. It's a tad crap IMO, maybe I was going to work on it-can't remember lol. That's probably why it was left not published.

Cheers again.

Si:-)

Jolen on 24-09-2007
A PUNISHED PILGRIM
Hi Si:
Welcome back. I am confused by your line 'through been cheapened', can you explain? I also found it hard to read, but am interested in understanding that line before I comment further.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hello my dear hope you're okay love?

The line is wrong I think lol! Pretty sure it should be 'being' although maybe I wanted to say something else. Like I said to John, this piece has been sat waiting to be published for ages. It maybe I was wanting to re-work it, I honestly cannot remember!

It is hard to read I agree so maybe it's really an unfinished piece.

Ta again for taking the time to read my dear.

Si:-)

Romany on 26-09-2007
A PUNISHED PILGRIM
Hi Si, how you doing?

I found this difficult to read too. I agree that I don't get the 'been cheapened' line either - did you mean 'being cheapened?' That would make more sense. I like the internal rhyming here.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hello 🙂

Still to the hospital for tests 🙁

The line should be 'being'-sure of it-like I have said to John and Jolen this must have been a work in progress as I found more of the same pic with different words on. Never mind 🙂

Ta for talking a look.

Si:-)


THE SPINELESS AND HELPLESS (posted on: 20-04-07)
A man without anything is a man with no hope. Contains the 'F' word. Sorry the pic is a bit big, it has to be for effect.

I, me, this man, a frightened, timid mouse- Mus-patheticus-musculus. You, pushing away with a terse hostility into my mind, tearing my fabric of manhood. Like a chandelier in an undersized room, you illuminate the shadows of my soul. Taking away, my desires, my wants, me. You always knew what I wanted, before I did. Yet, there is nothing I can do And for that, I fucking loathe you. No...for that, I fucking hate ME. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for THE SPINELESS AND HELPLESS
littleditty on 20-04-2007
THE SPINELESS AND HELPLESS
Oh Si - fuck! i didnt see the last line - had to scroll down for it - sheeeeesh - now i will have to go and have a look at that huge pic and read this again - i did - well done Si - an honest hit of a write, very strong..there is the spine...Take good care of your lovely self. I need a long sleep myself.. :o) xxldx

Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

Ta for having a look and commenting.

Glad you liked it and I will look after my lovely self:-)

Si:-)

Sunken on 20-04-2007
THE SPINELESS AND HELPLESS
Hello Mr. Eddie. Yes, as the Dittster points out - there is the spine. Nice one.

s
u
n
k
e
n

no tag

Author's Reply:

delph_ambi on 20-04-2007
THE SPINELESS AND HELPLESS
Best line I've read all day: "Mus-patheticus-musculus". After a great start, I thought this ran out of steam a bit, (the 'taking away' and 'you always knew' stanzas are dull compared with the others, and I'd seriously consider dropping them altogether) but it was still good. Fantastic photo.

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 21-04-2007
THE SPINELESS AND HELPLESS
Great photo, Si! And too, absolutely adore that line:-"Mus-patheticus-musculus"... Amazing!

;-)Tina

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 01-09-2007
THE SPINELESS AND HELPLESS
Thank you very much for your comments.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


VISITATION (posted on: 16-04-07)
Why did she leave? You decide.

Since you left, departed, gone. Vanished as by a magician's hand. You no longer wished to be found, touched or kissed. ???? why? . . ? ~ See you ghostly floater in blind eyes. Hear you tissue paper whispers in deaf ears. A fleeting visitation...
Archived comments for VISITATION
orangedream on 16-04-2007
VISITATION
Maybe ... she didn't like rabbits??!!

Love the picture with the ?s. Clever or what!

Nice one Si. Original, as usual.

Hope you're doing OK and hanging on in there. You sound as if you are.

Have a good week.

:-)Tina

Author's Reply:
Nothing clever about my work Tina, at the moment its just cobbled together...well I think it is.

Glad you liked it though.

Got to go back to the hospital in June for a visual field test...again.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Sunken on 16-04-2007
VISITATION
Blimey. Well done on getting it to format Mr. Eddie. I can never quite suss that out. Another original piece. Well done.

s
u
n
k
e
n

his tags have been cut off

Author's Reply:
Formatting...good? Tell that to my pc, can never figure out how to format my HDD...blah, blah, blah...sorry sunk for going on and on and on and on...lol.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

littleditty on 16-04-2007
VISITATION
Hi clever eddiesolo - Si:-) this is artistic - bravo - it has comedy and the split and i think its really super - very well done - can i be cheeky now:-? *pull yourself toether man* - spring aint over til the fat lady sings - Hope you are ok - good piece, Si xxxditty of little x

Author's Reply:
He there LD,

Ta for thinking this is artistic...most please that you enjoyed it, as for being cheeky? Anytime my dear, you now that, I like your cheek 😉

How about spring is over when the fat bloke screams?

Si:-)

Gerry on 17-04-2007
VISITATION
Simon, always beware of the 'white rabbit' LOL, nicely done.

How are the peepers?

Best--Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Too true Gerry, that white bunny isn't always what he/she appears.

Sent you a PM about my eyes.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Romany on 17-04-2007
VISITATION
Sleight of hand eh? Maybe he made her disappear? Although I don't think it's that sinister, I think he's genuinely perplexed. Great to see you posting Si,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
You could be right Sue, but I had no idea as to what really happened and thought the thoughts of my fellow UKA members would add enough to the piece.

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 18-04-2007
VISITATION
Hi, Si! Very original, no matter which way you read it...mind you, you've got me a bit worried. Okay, white rabbit - there are loads of leads off from that character, so I'm not sure which way to go...BUT up to that point, I think I was reading something rather different to what everyone else was. Floater, tissue - have I been reading too much Viz, eh? No matter - either you're fooling a lot of people or I've got a disgusting mind. I'll settle for the latter, so don't feel offended if I'm completely wrong!

Author's Reply:
As I said to Romany I had no idea as to the depth of this poem and the ideas of UKA members is working really well...it is Roy, what ever you want to see in it, disgusting mind and all lol!

Ta for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

orangedream on 19-04-2007
VISITATION
Well, all I can say, Si - is, if your work is 'just cobbled together' as you would have it - I only wish I could 'cobble together' my work like that. You are brilliant with all the really dramatic effects you achieve with all your stuff - either with photography or in general layout.

Talking about the visual field test - I have to have one of those every time I go to the optician for a new pair of glasses. I hate it because it feels like I'm taking some kind of intelligence test. Do hope they sort something out for you soon.

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your lovely comment, but, at the moment I feel lost in trying to piece things again. Just can't seem to get the feel right with the work...dunno:-)

Got a couple of subs for tomorrow, just re-working them, again, and again.

Ta again.

Si:-)


DAISY DAISY (posted on: 09-04-07)
Saw an old Daisy wheel printer and just wrote a silly, fun piece, maybe a bit clunky.


Archived comments for DAISY DAISY
Sunken on 10-04-2007
DAISY DAISY
Hello Mr. Eddie. I never owned a daisy printer. I did once know a girl named Daisy tho. She hated that name because everyone use to moo at her. I never mooed as I have a cow phobia. It's the udders, I find them a little unsavoury. Tho I must admit, I do like to see a milkmaid having a go on them... This comment has gone proper tits-up and no mistake. Another inventive piece young Eddie. Well done. You do realise that I'll have that song in my head all day now?

s
u
n
k
e
n

no tag week

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

Ta for taking the time have a look at my nonsense.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

orangedream on 10-04-2007
DAISY DAISY
Gosh, I remember the old Daisy Wheel I have to admit. Brought back memories. Nice one, Si.

Take care,
Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Ta for reading.

Yeah, I had one and the print quality was garbage!

Was going to do the centre of the daisy wheel in red like HAL in 2001...forgot to do it lol!

Cheers again my dear.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 11-04-2007
DAISY DAISY
As so soften, a neat mixture of humour and visual punch, making both more effective - good one!

Author's Reply:
Cheers Roy!

Glad you liked it mate, thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Albermund on 12-04-2007
DAISY DAISY
LOvely idea, edd, and well presented, but, as you yourself admit, it's clunky. It's such a great wee tune and it hurts to see it being mangled like this. If you could only tidy up the rhythm it would be a little gem. cheers, Albert 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi Albert,

I agree that the rhythm does falter slightly. To be honest I was struggling to get something to fit lol!

Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

woodbine on 13-04-2007
DAISY DAISY
Hi Simon,

An original poem, nicely presented, and to the point, inspires a reply:

Mock not the Amstrad daisy wheel
of which I still have several.
I see your eyes begin to glaze
as I sing in praise of the cutting edge
with the golf ball electric writer
that twists and turns to bounce
each letter on the page
and cost your boss an arm and leg
and made IBM a fortune.

All the best,
John

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Ta muchly for reading and the great comment.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)


YESTERDAY GIRL (posted on: 26-02-07)
Do you remember your first kiss?

Auburn strands enclose a waxen face, set with freckled masked chocolate eyes. Gapped, toothy smiles hide inner emotions of a guiltless accord. Casually we sought flawless hands, to share in a grown up approach. Children playing lovers, not understanding- just imitating. Together, tomorrow? That's a futuristic century, not given credence. The moment that mattered was on her Grandma's, well washed back steps. A Cabana bar halved and a coconut and cherry kiss. Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for YESTERDAY GIRL
e-griff on 26-02-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
This is very nice, Simon! Nicely put together and all ...
sweet as well!

the only thing I'd say is maybe you are saying too much in places?
egChildren playing lovers,
not understanding-
just imitating.
where the first line says it all - not sure if you need the other two
and just before: to share in a grown up approach. - which says a similar thing again.

I also detected a tense shift ( smiles hide/we sought)

nevertheless a thoughtful and well constructed piece mate!

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Ta for reading.

When I wrote the piece I never actually looked at the piece, just sort of flowed and thought it mixed well. I have actually read the piece and can see what you're on about.

Glad you liked it though.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 26-02-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
Aw, how sweet...yes, I do remember, and it was with a redhead too. Beautifully done, Si - nostalgia at its best!

Author's Reply:
Bless you Roy for remembering your first kiss.

Hope it only stopped at kissing...lol.

Si:-0

Romany on 26-02-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
Cabana bars! I remember them!

Seems to be something of a theme for you at the moment Si, young love that is. I think this is lovely, especially:

Auburn strands enclose
a waxen face, set with
freckled masked chocolate
eyes.

Just lovely!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Yeah, it does seem to be theme doesn't it?

Glad you liked it and fanking you for reading and leaving a lovely comment.

Si:-) wants a Cabana bar 🙁

orangedream on 26-02-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
Oh I love this one. You are working well lately, Si. Not that you were'nt before. Oh hecky thump - ya know what I means?

Anyway, this one's good enough to eat!

warm regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

As you know not been on for ages...poorly eyes.

So soz for being late...thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

delph_ambi on 27-02-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
Very sweet nostalgic piece of poetry. I would do the line breaks differently (yours seem pretty random). Line breaks can be such useful devices, if used with care.

I love the detail of the Cabana bar.

Author's Reply:
Hi Delph-ambi,

Late I know...sorry, not being well lately.

Yep, line breaks would help this piece.

Thanks for stopping by.

Si:-)

scotch on 28-02-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
i quite like this i might put well-washed... scotch

Author's Reply:
I scotch,

Cheers for reading and commenting.

Sorry for being late in replying, not been very well.

Si:-)

Cornbob on 01-03-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
Cute and with a fine flair for that magic, innocent time of childhood.

Author's Reply:
Cheers cornbob for taking the time to read and leave a comment.

Not been well, so, sorry for the late reply.

Take care,

Si:-)

narcissa on 01-03-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
The last six lines are simply wonderful!! That's the kind of detail that is really effective, and it really makes the whole poem come alive. I think, as e-griff has said, you've not been as concise as you could be with this - you really don't need so many adjectives!
Show, don't tell the reader: do as you've done in that wonderful last section.

I hope that helps!
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Hi Laura,

Yep, I agree got carried away me thinks.

Thanks for reading and commenting, sorry I'm late, not been well.

Si:-)

Gerry on 01-03-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
Loved this Simon--in honesty I don't remember the first kiss too long since, but I remember it was great 🙂
Very nice little simple poem...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Sorry for the lateness of my reply, having trouble with my eyes.

Glad you enjoyed reading, and thanks for commenting.

Si:-)

royrodel on 01-03-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,
joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
clinical, intellectual, cynical.

memories sweet memories

RODEL

Author's Reply:
Not been so good with my eyes Roy, so sorry been late in replying.

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

SugarMama34 on 06-04-2007
YESTERDAY GIRL
Hi Si,

A lovely poem full of the innocence of a childhood sweetheart. It's good to go down memory lane now and again and you have done that well in this. I can't even remember my first kiss, too long ago, not that I'm old lol.

Hugs,

Sugar.xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Sugar,

Ta for reading and commenting, glad you like this.

Si:-)

Jay on 04-02-2008
YESTERDAY GIRL
A delightful piece. This image was powerful

"Casually we sought
flawless hands,
to share in a grown up
approach. "

Very sweet, like the ending 😉
x

Jennifer

Author's Reply:
Hello Jennifer,

Sorry for the late reply.

Glad you enjoyed reading and for the lovely comment.

Si:-)


BLOOD WORDS (posted on: 24-02-07)
Passing notes in biology class...

Like a shuddering poetical newbie, fishing in red flowing streams for Haemoglobin love hearts. 'HOT LIPS'hooked and thrown back. Frantically searching for- 'BE MINE'reeled in with tender care. As giddy heart gaily squeezes token of adore to quivering hand with deep breath I pass on my note. Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for BLOOD WORDS
delph_ambi on 25-02-2007
BLOOD WORDS
Lovely nostalgic poem. Awkward and sweet, witty and charming.

Author's Reply:
Most kind for reading Delph, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Romany on 25-02-2007
BLOOD WORDS
Your photo perplexed and intrigued me. At first I thought it was a close up of a flower (is it?) but then I thought it could equally be a close up of some artery or other, perhaps severed? In an artistic/imaginative style anyway - I know next to nothing about biology!

I like the awkwardness of this too, conveying the fumbling awkwardness of the teen years. The only thing I would suggest is omitting the word 'poetical' in the first line, as it seems unnecessary to me, but then, that's just my opinion.

I love the lovehearts inclusion!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sue,

The picture is of blood cells, I wanted to convey the flushed rush of blood when you get nerves.

Plus the innocent of the combining the loveheart theme with youth and young love.

The poetical reverence is the first time at trying to master feelings of words in a love note.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

orangedream on 27-02-2007
BLOOD WORDS
Nobody ever sent me a note like that, boo hoo! Great photo - I too didn't know what it was a picture of, so thanks for explaining. Your poem captures this particular situation perfectly, Si.

kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Ta for looking and leaving a comment.

Glad you like it.

Si:-)


WATER-FOUL (posted on: 24-02-07)
In response to John's 'Waterways challange'. Understand that the challenge wanted more about the rubbish building up over time. Wrote the poem before I read that bit, never mind. Si:-)

Yesteryear sounds of babbling eddies, fuse with giggles from narrowboats gentle wash. Sluice gates release a tide of suspension, that soothingly, angel-like- ascend above the blackened-scorched brickwork. Nature in chorus with a waterway of tender verse. Today it seems a gentler time in fresh-painted buoyant caravans. A twenty-first century recapture of a past long dead. ChugChug...Chugging. Past the smell of decay and flotsam of the ignorant. Nature in mourning of a waterway obituary. Simon Murphy 2007 This poem and others from authors on this site can be found at: http://maidenheadwaterways.org/index.shtml
Archived comments for WATER-FOUL
e-griff on 25-02-2007
WATER-FOUL
a thoughtful and gentle reflection, young babbling eddy!

best johnG 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

I do tend to babble, nonsense usually lol.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Bradene on 25-02-2007
WATER-FOUL
A gentle sad one one Si. Very nice Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Romany on 25-02-2007
WATER-FOUL
This is gentle, and if you'll pardon the pun, reflective too. I worry for our waterways,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sue,

Most kind of you to read and leave a comment.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

delph_ambi on 25-02-2007
WATER-FOUL
Very likeable poem, but you've included a few words that make it just a tiny bit twee at times. The ones in this poem that I would always avoid (unless intending an ironic tone) are: yesteryear, babbling, giggles, gentle, angel-like, tender, gentler, flotsam.
The words/phrases that I really like, on the other hand, are blackened-scorched brickwork, buoyant caravans, Chug...Chug...Chugging, smell of decay, waterway obituary.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Delph for taking the time to read and leave a comment.

The delicate nature of the wording was what I wanted to convey, especially for the first sepia-toned first stanza. I didn't want to be too literal regarding the litter as I wanted the feeling of many pieces-hence flotsam.

Ta for your interest much appreciate you taking the time to have a good read.

Si:-)

Sunken on 25-02-2007
WATER-FOUL
This is anything but a babbling Eddie. Well done mister.

s
u
n
k
e
n

she'd only been gone for thirty minutes and he'd already lost the plot

Author's Reply:
Cheers Sunk,

Glad you liked it mate.

Si:-)

orangedream on 25-02-2007
WATER-FOUL
Sunken got there before me boo-hoo!

Really liked this one Si - you must have worked hard at it. Sorry, I didn't mean that the way it sounded - you know what I mean, I'm sure. You have a pleasing style with this. Like it a lot.

kind regards
Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hello Tina,

Worked hard? Me? Never...just flows from my talented fingers...ahem lol.

After reading the other brilliant subs I think mine is a bit short. Maybe could do with a bit more fleshing out.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Ionicus on 26-02-2007
WATER-FOUL
A pleasant and very descriptive poem which aptly conveys the dereliction of the waterways with the following lines:
'Past the smell of decay and flotsam
of the ignorant.

Nature in mourning of a waterway
obituary.'

Well done.

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi,

Thank you for your kind words on my waterways poem.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

soman on 03-03-2007
WATER-FOUL
Hello Si,

Very evocative. You could very well have been talking about the 44 beautiful rivers in our own state which are in the process of slow extinction caused by human greed and callousness.

Soman

Author's Reply:
Hi Soman,

My apologies in the lateness of my reply to you, not so good health wise lately.

Glad you enjoyed reading and thank you for leaving a comment.

Si:-)


THE DEAD CUDDLES ME (posted on: 19-02-07)
A simple, yet important poem for me. Had a dream about my Grandma, a wonderful lady much loved and missed. I realised that it was a dream, yet it was a true collection of memories and events that I had had with this woman. In the end she cuddled me. Woke up in tears. Si.

Itinerant through cathedral- brimful with your vaporous essences. Languid memories flow before tearful, yet griefless eyes. Your voice brings tenderness, a calmness like in life. And I feel, like in life your embrace, your cuddle. Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for THE DEAD CUDDLES ME
orangedream on 19-02-2007
THE DEAD CUDDLES ME
This is so beautiful Si - she sounded a wonderful lady. Although it upsets us at the time when we dream of somebody we loved who is no longer with us, it fades and blends into a feeling that comforts us somehow as if in some way they're still here, watching and guiding us. I know it does with me.

kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much Tina, for reading.

Yes, she was a wonderful lady and much missed.

I agree that sometimes you do feel that you are being watched and helped by a friendly force.

Ta again.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 19-02-2007
THE DEAD CUDDLES ME
Very touching...I can understand your need to get this down and preserve it somehow. I almost feel as if I'm trespassing reading something so personal, but maybe you've touched on a universal feeling here. Loss and remembrance, and knowing that memories only die when we do ourselves.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Roy for your very touching comment.

All we can hope is that our future generations keep those memories alive.

Si:-)

delph_ambi on 19-02-2007
THE DEAD CUDDLES ME
Good poem. Very touching.

A few of suggestions: stanza one, line 1, I think you need 'the' or 'a' cathedral. Line 2, 'brimming' rather than 'brimful'. Line 3, 'essence' rather than 'essences'.

Stanza 2, Line 1, I would drop 'languid'. Not a good word in this context, because of overtones of sexuality. Line 2, I'd delete 'yet'. The contrast between tearful and griefless is more poignant without it.

Stanza three, line 2, 'calm' rather than 'calmness'. Line 3, 'as' rather than 'like'.

Stanza three, again, maybe use 'as' rather than 'like' (to get rid of the intrusive rhyme with 'life').

That was rather a lot of critique for a poem I like, but if you're going for simplicity, as you are, I think it does need that tiny bit of tightening.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Delph, for taking the time read and comment.

Many thanks for looking and suggesting changes, much appreciate you giving the time.

Like what you have suggested here and if I decide to re-do the piece, then will use your advice.

Ta again.

Si:-)


TIME ATTACK (posted on: 19-02-07)
Time gets us all.

Inaudibly inner thoughts lay screams at a rational core that is paralysed to act upon auctioneers gavel. Try as I might I'm outstripped by the living, who's arms taunt me into futile yet necessary offers. ''thrombolytic'' ''heparin'' ''no response'' ''clear'' ''clear'' It's so clear as I fade into sleep, I have been outbid ''time..." TICK "...of death'' TOCK Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for TIME ATTACK
MWyndham on 19-02-2007
TIME ATTACK
Good Work. I like a death poem and a very good opening IMO.

Thumbs up and all that.

Rgds
MW

Author's Reply:
Hi MW,

Thanking you for reading and commenting.

Glad that you enjoyed reading.

Thanks again for the thumbs up!

Si:-)

Sunken on 19-02-2007
TIME ATTACK
An accomplished sub and no mistake, in my munky opinion Mr. Ed. I think you're posting some of your strongest stuff of late. I'm tired of always saying, 'Great ending' but yet again I have to say it, great ending.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he's glad that monday is flying

Author's Reply:
Well your munky opinion means a lot and I thank you for reading and commenting.

Glad you feel that I'm subbing some good work 🙂

Si:-)

orangedream on 19-02-2007
TIME ATTACK
I like this one Si. Very cleverly done. Original - then all your stuff is - highly.

kind regards
Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hello dear Tina,

Pleased you liked this one and as for original? More like just cobbled together lol!

Si:-)

Zoya on 19-02-2007
TIME ATTACK
Sorry to know about your heart, or is it thrombo-embolism of peripheral veins?
(((Hugs)))
No one can out bid a poet!
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hello Zoya,

My heart beats just fine my dear...shushhhhhhhhh...listen...Bum, bum, bum, bum...pharttttttttttttttt...oops, sorry about that lol.

Ta for reading and glad you liked it.

Si:-)

SugarMama34 on 24-02-2007
TIME ATTACK
Hi Si, A sad but a very philosophical write in my view. Time does get us all at some point. This poem for me really hit home, especially the lines;

It’s so clear as I fade into sleep,
I have been outbid…

“…time..."
TICK
"...of death…”
TOCK

It gives the reader a thought to ponder on, one of which I have thought on many times.

Cheers, from Lis'.xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Lis,

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Pleased that it made you think, that for me is wonderful. Don't think too hard though and remember to live life lol!

Thanks again.

Si:-)


ADVICE FROM ME (posted on: 16-02-07)
Do you listen to yourself?

Sought advice on many days, from my erudite dweller. Questions, Questions, Questions. Not always giving- Answers, Answers, Answers. As is today, my inner-self absconds. To have a- Danish with coffee, or not? Damn him! Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for ADVICE FROM ME
Romany on 16-02-2007
ADVICE FROM ME
Decisions, decisions! I rarely listen to myself, although I am always talking to myself! Another novel idea; perhaps you could expand on it? Just a thought!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
This was just a silly little poem really. Was thinking about choices and when you can't decided and they normally happen over silly little things...like the Danish with me.

Thanks for reading Sue.

Si:-)



e-griff on 16-02-2007
ADVICE FROM ME
i never listen to myself. i don't trust me! 😉

Author's Reply:
You have problems there John, if you can't trust yourself lol!

Ta for reading my silliness.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 17-02-2007
ADVICE FROM ME
Danish with coffee? I'd give 'im a sound whack round the ear for buggering off and leaving me muse-less. Actually, that's a thought - if only there was somebody we could get hold of and blame when the inspiration dries up. Good one, Si - not complex, but it certainly makes us think!

Author's Reply:
I like your style Roy, if only I could catch him and give him a good clip about the ear...too much space in my head methinks?

As I replied to Sue, this just came to me as I ordered a coffee and wanted a Danish...or did I...just stood looking gormless. My inner voice had just buggered off, I felt lost and totally stupid lol!

"Er...just the coffee please..." slinks out.

Si:-)

Sunken on 17-02-2007
ADVICE FROM ME
Hello young Ed of Wotm fame. I have to ignore my inner voice as he keeps getting me into trouble. Even as I type this he is insisting that I go and do something unsavory. He's nothing but a disgrace and no mistake. Neat little write Ed.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Prozac rejected him

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk, sounds like you manage to keep your inner voice in check mate...or do you?

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


orangedream on 17-02-2007
ADVICE FROM ME
Go on Si - spoil yourself. Be like Mr. Orange sometimes and have 2 or 3 even!

My inner-self speaks Russian. Handy actually as I definitely don't!

Enjoyed!

Regards
Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina, wish I could have spoiled myself this day. I just froze, couldn't decide. I was totally devoid of any promptness in my mind. Just smiled like a simpleton and asked for me coffee lol!

Ta для чтения и комментария!

Si:-)

SugarMama34 on 18-02-2007
ADVICE FROM ME
Hi Si, a short but interesting poem about the inner voice and our choice of decisions. I sometimes struggle with mine too...always wants something different than I do...most times I listen to it though. I liked this poem very much and it was a pleasure to read.

Cheers From Lis'.xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Sugar,

Glad you liked it, it wasn't meant to be a master piece of wordage; just an observation when you're mind suddenly goes blank.

Most kind of you to read and leave a comment.

Si:-)


littleditty on 25-02-2007
ADVICE FROM ME
Um...what was i - is that you Si? ah yes, i liked this one - first two lines especially - xxldx

Author's Reply:
LD! LD! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY MY LITTLE DITTY!

I have not been on for a while due to me eyes, and I never realised that you had left a comment.

Please forgive my rudeness?

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-( the naughty boy.


ONE PILL, TWO PILLS, THREE PILLS MORE (posted on: 12-02-07)
Found myself taking pills for a cold and for my eyes, gave it no thought, just did it. It got me thinking...are we slaves to them? Are we addicted to taking any old pills and potions? Not too sure about the last two stanzas, think they are too abrupt. Would it read better if they where dropped, what do you think?

I assimilate your emotions, take control of your actions. You belong to me- prescription in shaky inky, power of attorney. Will, body and mind- blended as one, trapped in useless, fleshy prison. Maybe you think I can free you, save and provide a body renew. Pill popping cures are a waste of precious time, this masquerade of fake life is nothing but a pantomime. Face facts, no more lying. Tis time, to own up- you're dying. Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for ONE PILL, TWO PILLS, THREE PILLS MORE
jay12 on 13-02-2007
ONE PILL, TWO PILLS, THREE PILLS MORE
Hi Simon,

I think this is a great poem. The last 2 stanza's worked very well to me, especially the final one. I'm surprised this hasn't got more comments.

Congrats on the UKA Writer of the Month interview. I've read that too and enjoyed finding out a bit about you.

Kind Regards,

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Hi Jay,

Glad you liked this and for reading my interview.

Most kind words indeed.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

orangedream on 13-02-2007
ONE PILL, TWO PILLS, THREE PILLS MORE
Hi there Si. Answering Jay's question as to why your well- meant, well thought out piece hasn't received more comments.

People take pills for many reasons. Too many to illustrate. My husband has Parkinson's and needs his medication to actually move. He is totally stone-like unless he takes his pills. My eldest daughter has terminal cancer. She hangs on to life by her fingertips. Does brilliantly though and at present, is in remission but relies totally on morphine based pain killers. My youngest, has a degenerative condition of the spine, ankylosing spondylitis to be exact, her bones crumble and she suffers increasing pain. Medication is her only option too.

The penultimate stanza is good and to the point. I think the last stanza is the problem. Maybe:-

Tis time to own up
we're all of us
dying

would probably be more sensitvely received.

A well-meaning poem, written from the heart, which is where all good writing comes from.

I reiterate Jay's congrats on your WOM. More than well deserved. Don't you dare hang up your boots!!!

kind regards
Tina


Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

You could be right as regarding not many comments.

It was certainly not my intention to be flippant about taking medication, I have to take it myself as you pointed out, so do so many people.

It just came to me as I took some flu tablets, then my eye drops, then my inhalers...just got me thinking. I took them without a second thought-so used to just taking them.

I am really sorry to hear about your family that is just awful and I hope I haven't offended you with this poem? It was not my intention to damn people who take them, far from it.

I agree with the last stanza, I have re-read it and do think it seems clipped and clunky.

I think this piece would serve a better purpose if it was aimed at hard-drug use and the affects on addicts. They are ruled by these substances and in the end they too need them to function.

Thank you for taking the time to comment and again please accept my apology if I did upset you.

Si:-) Hoping he didn't.


orangedream on 14-02-2007
ONE PILL, TWO PILLS, THREE PILLS MORE
Hi there Si. Please - don't apologise. You did not offend me in the slightest and I know exactly how you must have felt, poor soul, with all that stuff you had to take. I do get angry sometimes though I have to admit and I ask myself, why my family, but then, why anyone's at the end of day?

I agree with you about using this poem to more emphasise the topic of hard-drug use and the subsequent effect on addicts. It would be extremely effective I think.

So there you are you see - you can't stop writing, shan't let you!

kind regards
Tina 🙂

Author's Reply:
I'm glad that I didn't offend you Tina, and you have every right to get angry at times...who wouldn't feel that in your position.

Si:-)

Sunken on 15-02-2007
ONE PILL, TWO PILLS, THREE PILLS MORE
Hello Mr. Ed. Another strong piece in my munky opinion. Especially liked -

Pill popping
cures are a waste of
precious time,
this masquerade of
fake life is nothing
but
a
pantomime.

Shouldn't worry about comment numbers and hits. They have a habit of influencing people more than they should. You also got a pretty crap position, which doesn't help. We use to have a scrolly menu on the homepage that constantly scrolled the current subs. I've asked if we could have it back on many occasions, but they don't listen to munkys (-; Anyway, keep at it.

s
u
n
k
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n

he got a gas bill valentines

Author's Reply:
Hello my sunken friend.

Ta for reading. Yeah, I remember the scrolly thingy...long time ago, in a UKA far, far away.

To be honest just thought my style of poetry had suddenly fallen out of favour, you can't please everybody all the time but I figured maybe it had got stilted.

Ta again, and sorry to hear about your gas bill, maybe it was a lady who dropped it in the post box.

Si:-)


Jen_Christabel on 02-11-2007
ONE PILL, TWO PILLS, THREE PILLS MORE
I take 6 tablets a days, 4 of one type, 2 of another - both anti-depressants, so I know exactly where you are coming from. I think the last two stanzas worked very well.
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:


Crpuscule (posted on: 09-02-07)
Evening...

Twilight is the lover's acquaintance, prancing on the dais of a plummeting inferno. Hues-dusty, hazy, yet spatted with crystals that twinkle in a worrisome way. This nexus of times from coastal canoodlings, now sets the tone for the nights cloaked affairs. Hand in hand couples stop to watch the shaded sky. With a smile on cloudy lips he slips away to reveal moonbeams of lust. Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for Crpuscule
Romany on 09-02-2007
Crépuscule
Now this I like! Rich with dimly lit imagery that I just love!
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hello Sue,

Thanking you for reading and commenting.

Glad you like it!

Si:-)

orangedream on 09-02-2007
Crépuscule
Nice imagery here Si. Enjoyed.

A small point, ' ... hazy, yet spatted' - did you mean the word to be 'spattered'?

kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Ta very much for reading and commenting.

Spatted...spattered? Er, yeah...maybe lol.

Ta again.

Si:-)


Gerry on 09-02-2007
Crépuscule
Simon. how I remember those crépuscule occasions 😉
Do they still occur? lol.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Can't tell you if they still happen Gerry? My crépuscule are a 60 watt bulb now lol!

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

littleditty on 11-02-2007
Crépuscule
Hi Si - i liked this, especially the last three lines -

night's? I am hopeless with apostrophes, esp after i have had a few... 'for the cloaked affair(s?) of Night' would be the way i would disguise my hopelessness, so, as a suggestion! xxldx



Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

So, been boozing have we? You naughty thing, you!

Not a clue about night's...er nights...whatever lol. Like your suggestion and no, you're never hopeless.

Ta for reading and I'm so pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)


SYMPHONY IN SPRING (posted on: 09-02-07)
A naturistic embrace...

Simon Murphy 2007
Archived comments for SYMPHONY IN SPRING
Gerry on 09-02-2007
SYMPHONY IN SPRING
Simon, you are always breaking new ground, I rather liked this...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Cheers for reading and leaving a comment.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Sunken on 10-02-2007
SYMPHONY IN SPRING
He's a lucky man and no mistake. Well done Mr. Wotm.

s
u
n
k
e
n

nivea for men 3 - brut 4

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

Ta for reading and glad you liked it.

Si:-)


TABLECLOTH (posted on: 05-02-07)
A ritual that many performed...or did they?

Cute cut sandwiches-Ham and cucumber, all displayed like a flirting Peacock. Sweet cakes-Marzipan and icing, topped with Almond skaters. China cups-used once a week for the 'traditional' suburban tea-ceremony. Earl-Grey is poured from 'Gold-rimmed' pot- pre-heated and added to milk of course. ''Oh, what a lovely spread'' Between polite nibbles-no bites. ''Perfect as ever'' Washed down with a reserved sip-no slurps. ''Most kind of you to say'' Social elite, full of magnificence as delicate hands pass the cakes. Yet prior to the Airs and Graces, deposited in great gobbets. She fucked. Not made-love-that is reserved for upstairs affairs. Wednesday's pre-tea parlour sex is- grunting, panting, cumming with a crazed madness. Taking her cup she sits-sophisticated, lady-like, gracious talk from perfect composed features, hides the imprint of the table doily on her arse. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for TABLECLOTH
Hazy on 05-02-2007
TABLECLOTH
LOL oh very good. Love that last line!

Just the one minor crit... Milk? In Earl Grey? Surely not, dear boy...

Well done, Si; enjoyed muchly!! Thanks for the smile 😀

Hazy x

Author's Reply:
Hello Hazy,

Ta for reading and commenting my dear.

Milk in Earl Grey? Why not? Gives that common side to proceedings.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Frenchy on 05-02-2007
TABLECLOTH
Nicely observed and probably more than true. "Must visit my Aunt in Harrogate" to explore in further detail.

Author's Reply:
LOL like the comment Frenchy.

You want to worry if her tea partners want you to join in!

Ta for stopping by.

Si:-)


SugarMama34 on 05-02-2007
TABLECLOTH
Hey eddisolo - An interesting and humerous poem. Who knows what secrets the toffs made hide! Loved the imagery in the first few stanzas, I could see these type of ladies sitting down and sipping their 'Earl Grey'.
Reminded me a little bit of when my Nan or Mum used to get their best china out for when visitors came down for the day. Usually the 'posh' side of the family lol.

Cheers From Lis'.xx

Author's Reply:
Hello there Lis'.xx

Glad you liked it, had this one sitting for ages on the hard drive. Liked it but thought it a tad flawed.

Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 06-02-2007
TABLECLOTH
I see - the milkman calls for his payment on Wednesdays, does he? Not at every house, I hope...the poor bugger! Very wry piece, Si - great contrast between the Earl Grey set and the prelude. How many others, we wonder, have been working up a thirst? Very droll!
ps I can just imagine the conversation (NOT): "That Geoff, by the time he gets to me, it takes him AGES, darling! Not that I'm complaining, you understand..."

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Cheers sir, for reading and leaving your mark.

Like the comment-Ernie the fastest milkman in the West!

Si:-)


e-griff on 06-02-2007
TABLECLOTH
Eddie man, I don't think you need the quotes round gold-rimmed. (it literally IS)

my reaction, I'm afraid, to the punch line was 'So?' I'd have liked to see more contrast, tension, comparison, some story, whatever to create interest 🙂

best JohnG

Author's Reply:
Hello there Mr Griffmond.

I'm going to agree with you about this piece. In my reply to Sugarmama, I told her that this piece had been sat on my HDD for ages. I kept looking at it and tinkering, think it came out a bit flat.

I liked the idea and think parts work, but as you say...it seems devoid of any substance. I think I never really got the point of what I wanted to say, and so never really got into the writing.

Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)




delph_ambi on 06-02-2007
TABLECLOTH
Enjoyed this one. A few points: I've no idea why you've dotted it with stray capitals. I think they get in the way.
You need to make a distinction between dashes and hyphens. I'd suggest using a double dash where you want a dash, and single for a hyphen. Talking of hyphens, you shouldn't hyphenate Earl Grey.

Just read it again. Still makes me chuckle. Must be my type of humour.

Delph.

Author's Reply:
Hi Delph,

Did I spot it with it capitals? Never noticed, to be honest, don't think my heart was fully in this piece.

Glad you enjoyed it and it made you chuckle and for the input, much appreciate your time.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Romany on 06-02-2007
TABLECLOTH
Lol! So she's not quite so straight laced then?

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Lol, guess not!

Thanks for reading and commenting Sue.

Si:-)

Sunken on 06-02-2007
TABLECLOTH
Sounds like my kinda tea party Mr. Eddie. I do like a spot of tea-bagging. Well done on the wotm btw.

s
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k
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can't spell scissors - Doh, bloody spellchecker!

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

Thanks for the congrats, reading and commenting.

Don't get yourself mixed with these ladies young sunk! They only want you for one thing...oh, sorry that's what your after.

Cheers again.

Si:-)



A BREATHLESS POET (posted on: 29-01-07)
Words are just words are just words are just words...

A writer of rhyme, canto and verse, beauty of wordage I try to coerce- images, emotions displayed by page, to bring a perfect read to poetical stage. Experience of life is given without reserve, love and hate bared with unselfish nerve. I offer you my all and to all I do offer, nothing but scribbling of man and dreamer. Take what you will- do with as you wish. For when this poet breaths his last- his work like him, must vanish. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for A BREATHLESS POET
Jolen on 29-01-2007
A BREATHLESS POET
You said it all here, Si! Another one you can be proud of.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

Most kind of you to read and comment.

Glad you liked it!

Si:-)

red-dragon on 29-01-2007
A BREATHLESS POET
Hi Si - I read this through, then read it out loud to appreciate it fully. Why not put it on UK Audio? Ann

Author's Reply:
Hello Ann,

Never read it out aloud-I take it the piece sounded okay?

Got a problem (actually had it for a while) with my sound-card so getting audio is a problem.

Glad you liked it and thought it would sound good!

Si:-)

Romany on 30-01-2007
A BREATHLESS POET
Ah, but not necessarily Si! Publish it all for posterity! Publish and be damned...

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hope that posterity likes it lol!

Ta for reading and commenting Sue.

Si:-)


KEELHAULED (posted on: 29-01-07)
when love sails off into the sunset.

A dynamic dawdle of contrived emotion, wraps you in an opaque vitiation. Jibing, steering your back to me, while I tack uselessly, slowed by gusty monologue- of over the shoulder snipes. As your mainsail billows from frigged rigging- you leave me to founder, sending forth my feeble S.O.S. .. .-.. --- ...- . -.-- --- ..- I LOVE YOU .. .-.. --- ...- . -.-- --- ..- I LOVE YOU Simon Murphy 2006.
Archived comments for KEELHAULED
Jolen on 29-01-2007
KEELHAULED
Damn, did you swallow the freaking muse or what? Clever work.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
My inspiration for this came in the shower, looked down at my son's toy boat and it just all jumbled into placed. Bizarre the places you get ideas from, just glad I wasn't sat on the pot! Could have turned out very different lol.

Pleased you thought this clever.

Cheers again my dear.

Si:-)


e-griff on 29-01-2007
KEELHAULED
glad you saw a boat - might have been a lot of old cock otherwise!

(or maybe a little) 🙂

Author's Reply:
A great slithering sea beast is what I saw!

Okay, maybe 'There she blows!' me own trumpet there...slightly... but not much.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

discopants on 29-01-2007
KEELHAULED
I liked it- cleverly written and made me smile at the end.

Author's Reply:
Thanks discopants, for taking the time to read and comment.

Pleased that you enjoyed it and it made you smile.

Si:-)

Bradene on 01-02-2007
KEELHAULED
Original and witty Nice one Si Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Thanking you for reading, and I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

Si:-)

orangedream on 01-02-2007
KEELHAULED
Ditto and great piccie, Si. Congrats on the 'stardom' by the way. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke!

regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Ta for the reading and thank you on the 'stardom'. As for me being nice...well yeah!

Ta again.

Si:-)

Gerry on 01-02-2007
KEELHAULED
Simon, Your unique touch shows through here 😉

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Most kind of you Gerry, thank you.

Si:-)


PERFECT POEM (posted on: 29-01-07)
What is a perfect poem?

A poem of perfection- played and applied, with loving pen. A personal journey- premeditated in mind, and heart. A perfect poem is- perhaps, unpublished. Simon Murphy 2006.
Archived comments for PERFECT POEM
woodbine on 29-01-2007
PERFECT POEM
Hi Eddiesolo,
This is the best poem of yours I've read, disarmingly simple, an arrow straight to the heart of the matter; poetry is very personal, and once you publish, it is no longer yours. but has to make its own way in the world.
At least that's how I see it. I think the first stanza could be ordered better to flow as well as the other two.
John

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

I'm surprised that you found this my best to date, but thank you.

Writing is like a child, once it leaves home you can no longer really tinker with it, nerchering it so to speak.

Ta for the suggestion on the first stanza, always helpful.

Thanks again John.

Respects.

Si:-)


delph_ambi on 29-01-2007
PERFECT POEM
Love all the alliteration in this one. Makes it a pleasure to read out loud. My only quibble with this one is the 'perhaps' in the last stanza, which seems a bit weak after the certainty of the first two stanzas. I would have used a word like 'inevitably', or something similar. However, on reflection, maybe that's a bit didactic. Maybe perhaps is better after all (I have a tendency to change my mind whilst commenting on poems).

Author's Reply:
Hi delph-ambi, firstly may I take this opportunity to say:

I love your artwork, your portraits of the stars are excellent! My missus will love the Clint Eastwood drawings.

As for the poem most kind of you for reading and commenting. As for changing your mind? Nothing wrong with that lol.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Take care,

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 29-01-2007
PERFECT POEM
Oh, neat one Si! Much in little, as they say - and a well-made point. Perhaps you're right...it just doesn't exist after all? I'll remember that the next time I'm struggling!

Author's Reply:
Hello there your Royness,

You struggling? With life maybe, but never in your writing!

Thanks for reading and commenting, ta for enjoying it.

Si:-)

woodbine on 30-01-2007
PERFECT POEM
Hi Eddie,
I meant no disrespect for your other work; this struck a chord with me.
John

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

No disrespect taken my friend.

This piece was slightly hurried, I subbed it after my other pieces were placed in the top 50, thinking it would hold it until Friday. It didn't lol.

I was thinking of reworking it.

Glad you enjoyed it though.

Take care.

Si:-)

Gerry on 01-02-2007
PERFECT POEM
Simon--top of the list, writer of the month, super little poem!
what else is there? 😉

Regards --Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry, yeah, not a bad month so far!

Glad you enjoyed reading!

Si:-)

Jolen on 02-02-2007
PERFECT POEM
Congrats to you, Si!

WOTM anddddddddddd a perfect poem! You go on with your talented self.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jolen, for the wonderful comment!

Me? A talent? Never!

Ta again!

Si:-)

Rupe on 04-02-2007
PERFECT POEM
This is a great little poem. Love the p-based alliteration throughout & the half-rhyme of 'played and applied' - suggests 'plashing', which has several appropriate meanings.

Yes, a perfect poem might well be unpublished - quiet & durable, not out there drawing attention to itself.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Hi Rupe,

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Glad you thought this a great little poem, much appreciate that 🙂

Si:-)

Thanks for the suggestion too.





WINDSPEED (posted on: 26-01-07)
Freefall.

She with abortive rip-cord plunge, skydiving record, trying to expunge. Plummeting through hand 'n' hand walks, skimming cloudy tears of long crucial talks. Flirting with currents billowing her away, freedom of feelings will not let her stay. My atmospheric dancer twists and swirls, realising that I could never be her churl- I float away in gravities embrace, now memories I must start to erase. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2006 'Churl' Anglo-Saxon meaning: 'a man'. May sound a bit clunky in this poem.
Archived comments for WINDSPEED
Jolen on 26-01-2007
WINDSPEED
I liked this piece from conception on, very clever. I didn't find it clunky, but rather like it's title. You are sure showing your stuff, Si and it's goooooooooood.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Why thanking you my dear.

To be honest I think the pic, simple as it is, is the best feature lol.

Glad you enjoyed reading and ta for leaving a comment.

Si:-)

orangedream on 28-01-2007
WINDSPEED
Great conception, great picture, as usual! Really original. You're a clever soul, Si!

:-)Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Many thanks for reading and commenting, thought it had died on its arse this piece! Well it has in
a way...not many comments on the bugger.

Glad you liked it though 🙂

Si:-) Ta for the rate too!


POETICAL DAMAGE (posted on: 22-01-07)
When the strain of writing finally gets to you... Just a bit of fun.


Archived comments for POETICAL DAMAGE
e-griff on 22-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
Nice to see you've still got the quill, O tiresome Eddie!

Author's Reply:
Yeah, did you like the tie-in between my nickname and air current?

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 22-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
I am stunned, as much by the visual display, as by the words woven therein! Ann

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Ann for reading and commenting.

It took me over half an hour to do the thing in Paint-shop pro LOL. But I think it worked.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)


scotch on 22-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
i liked it...scotch

Author's Reply:
Cheers Scotch,

Thanks for taking a look and leaving a comment.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Sunken on 22-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
I think, and slap me senseless if I'm wrong, that this is one of your strongest subs to date young Eddie. Thanks.

s
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k
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falls out of bed regularly

Author's Reply:
Why thank you dear Sunk, for your most kind words.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

As for the falling out of bed...you need some guard rails or...sleep on the floor.



Zoya on 22-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
This is absolutely wonderful., dear Simone!
(((Hugs)))
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya,

Most pleased that you enjoyed reading!

Simone:-)

potleek on 22-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
Enjoyed the verse and the art work...Tony

Author's Reply:
Thanks Tony, for taking the time to read and comment.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

orangedream on 23-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
And what a beautiful folly you created here Si - you are an artist in every sense of the word. Paint shop Pro is like double-Dutch to me - far more Mr. Orange's cup of tea than mine. Maybe its a 'man-thing', dunno except I have to admit, I am deadly envious of your skills.

😉 Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Ta very much for the lovely comment and the generous rate.

As for an artist...piss artist maybe lol. I can't draw or paint very well, all I do is tinker with pics, so don't be envious 🙂

Thanking you once again.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 24-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
Who's been tampering with the whiteboard? Come on, own up! Good fun here, Si, with some truly outrageous punning too - I like it! I'm not surprised it took so long to put together, but it was worth it - the result is unique. Now I'm off, back to my ill-fated folly. (Limericks on the subject of windbreaking today...folly indeed!)

Author's Reply:
Outrageous punning...never!

Funny you should mention windbreaking, just completed a poem called windspeed...nothing to do with farting though.

Glad you enjoyed it Roy and thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)


Jolen on 24-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
I had no clue you were this talented and smart, but Yay! lol this was a treat in visiuals as well as theme.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
You'll make me blush...lol.

Most kind for reading and the lovely comment, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Romany on 26-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
Great work Si - I love the message in the poem, and the visual presentation too.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue, for reading and the nice comment.

Glad that it worked for you.

Si:-)

chrissy on 27-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
What a fantastic presentation. It was just great even down to the coffee cup stains and I'm not sure I want to know what the other one was.
And hey, the poem wasn't bad neither.
Brilliant, you clever little Si.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
Thank you Chrissy, for taking the time to read and comment.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Si:-)

PS ta for the generous rate too!

SugarMama34 on 29-01-2007
POETICAL DAMAGE
Hi eddiesolo,
I liked the verse, you have said so much. my sentiments exactly, though I couldn't put it into words like you have. A humerous piece that made me smile. You just said iit all as it is in this short but apt poem. By the way loved the coffee/tea stain, it gives it that little bit more character.

Cheers From Sugar. xx

Author's Reply:
Hello Sugar,

Thanking you for taking the time to read and leave a lovely comment.

Glad you enjoyed it and it gave you a smile 🙂

Si:-)


I H8 U (posted on: 19-01-07)
Texting is crap...

Sorry it's went a tad wrong, you can't read the chuffing thing! Text version below. Worth a try 🙂 Ring-tone jingles, soliciting a want, text message from you-the word savant. AFAIK I'LL B L8, This means that she is fucking my M8. Texting crap-I once found- C U 2NITE when E's not around. Number redialed and admitted did he, they shag on the side-making her dizzy. Texting one back, to that heartbreaking bitch, IMHO im af raid I ave to ditch CUL8R u backstabbping w itch! Ready, waiting for the ensuing battle ...thing is, I can't seem to get a signal! SIMON MURPHY 2006 PS The pic of the mobile phone is mine.
Archived comments for I H8 U
admin on 19-01-2007
I H8 U
Oooh, clever Si - it's awfully hard to read though, that textspeak, innit? Or maybe I'm just not trendy 'n' kewl enough *sigh*. Come to think of it, I ain't trendy 'n' kewl at all...

Author's Reply:
Hello there admin.

Glad you liked it, bloody pics too small though!

Never mind 🙂

Si:-)

Jolen on 21-01-2007
I H8 U
I hate all that 'u r' crap, and this was a cute barb at the same.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

Yeah, no what you mean, I don't like it either.

Thing is with me it takes me 20 mins to type the bloody text...easier to just phone.

Si:-)


WISHES (posted on: 19-01-07)
Just wanted to keep this one simple. A poem I wrote after hearing a story from a young man who lost his bride of eight months to cancer, although he was happy for the time they had together...

I wish you were here- Were in love. Were my friend. Were-together. I wish I could see you- See my china beauty. See your fragile soul. See you, a last time. I wish to turn back time- Back to when we met. Back to that first kiss. Back to when you lived. I wish that wishes came true. Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for WISHES
Romany on 19-01-2007
WISHES
Heart breaking for him, a lovely sentiment, made all the sadder because of its impossibility.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sue,

Thank you for taking a look.

Very heart breaking.

Si:-)

orangedream on 19-01-2007
WISHES
This is all the more beautiful because of its simplicity. Less is sometimes more.

Tina

Author's Reply:
You're so right! I thought about fancy words and realised that it just doesn't work.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

royrodel on 20-01-2007
WISHES
Brings a tear

RODEL

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Many thanks for reading and commenting.

Many tears shed, I think.

Si:-)

Ta for the rate too.


Gerry on 20-01-2007
WISHES
Simon, Nicely done. So very sad...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Gerry,

A very sad story he told.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 21-01-2007
WISHES
You're right to do it this way, Si...its very simplicity makes it almost unbearably poignant and heartbreaking.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Roy, for your kind words.

Si:-)

e-griff on 21-01-2007
WISHES
didn't understand the hyphen in 'were-together' 🙂

Author's Reply:
Bah! Well spotted John.

It isn't supposed to be there, I had a different line and changed it.

Forgot about it.

Sorry, Si:-)

Jolen on 21-01-2007
WISHES
A sad and tender piece. Well done.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jolen, for reading and leaving a comment.

Si:-)


LUNA MUSE (posted on: 08-01-07)
Astral bodies, thinking, pondering...

''Why,'' asked the moon in thoughtful suspension. ''Do we gaze upon cobalt sphere beneath?'' Crated face, craggy with thoughts. ''Don't ask me!'' Shrieked a star-fire comet. ''I never hang about long enough to know'' With trailing embers he blasted away, never to be seen again.maybe. ''I know.'' Replied the sun with a hydrogen smile. ''We look upon this world for just one single thing'' ''we give hope and dreams to all.'' Satisfied, contented- Luna's regolith softens in Earthshine glow. Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for LUNA MUSE
Sunken on 08-01-2007
LUNA MUSE
Hello Mr. Eddie. I knew a girl with an hydrogen smile once. She made my life impossible in the late autumn of 1998. I vowed there and then to never sing the song, 'Parklife' by Blur ever again. Sadly, however, I do find myself humming it when in the company of maggots. I realise that this is not exactly helpful, but then I never really was. I blame an inadequate upbringing and a Pot Noodle dependency. Well done on another strong sub. Thanks.

s
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so you found my navel, now plug me in

Author's Reply:
You wanna watch them Pot Noddles...there trouble.

Ta for reading and glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Romany on 26-01-2007
LUNA MUSE
Th emoon in thoughtful suspension, and hydrogen smile, are brilliant turns of phrase. Very different poem.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
To be honest with Sunk the only person to comment, I figured that this was...total crap, not that Sunk comments on crap...you know what I mean.

Thanks for having a read and leaving a comment, pleased that you enjoyed.

Si:-) Came close to deleting this one.





ORIOR ORIRI ORTUS OF SOL (posted on: 08-01-07)
RISE OF SOL.


Archived comments for ORIOR ORIRI ORTUS OF SOL
Evitchka on 08-01-2007
ORIOR ORIRI ORTUS OF SOL
I love the last two lines. For me the first few lines don't quite pin it but what a great attempt at something so awe inspiring- so difficult to describe with words.

Author's Reply:
Hi there,

Late again in replying...soz.

Sorry that the first lines didn't work for you, but as you say an awe inspiring sight is hard to write about.

Thanks for reading.

Si:-)

Jolen on 09-01-2007
ORIOR ORIRI ORTUS OF SOL
It's great to see you branching out, Si, and trying new things. Woooooooooo hooooooo! I'm baaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccck!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Nice to see you back 🙂



Glad you liked it.



Si:-)

flossieBee on 11-01-2007
ORIOR ORIRI ORTUS OF SOL
A beautiful poem and design, Simon. I'm not sure that I quite understand it, but the combination of banal and heightened images are beautiful.

floss

Author's Reply:
Hi there FB.



Thanks for thinking its beautiful. As for understanding it...not to worry, I don't understand many things I write...just do it lol.



Thanks again.



Si:-)

Romany on 26-01-2007
ORIOR ORIRI ORTUS OF SOL
The rising sun - a simple everyday action and yet the most amazing, wonderful thing that defies suitably beautiful description. I really like this Si, and the accompanying image.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Another comment that I have missed! Missed one by Little Ditty on another sub.

Really sorry for being late and just like I asked LD-please forgive me?

Glad you liked it and thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment.

Si:-(


A FACELESS INTERMENT (posted on: 04-01-07)
Just a box in the ground.

A turn out, of two- presides over tardy graveside. One-reading a familiar request. ''We commend to Almighty God'' ''brother'' A name not mentioned, ''sister.'' A sense of uneasiness, glancing downwards, offers no answers. Blank brass plate shines back, mockingly giving no clues. ''we commit this body to the ground'' To rest in silence, to sleep undisturbed. ''earth to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust'' Decompose noiselessly, harmlessly- without fuss. ''the Lord blessthisperson and keep them'' To keep for ever and ever. ''the Lord make their face to shine upon him'' To gaze into the face of creation. ''and be gracious unto them and give this person peace'' Oh- Lord graciously grant concord. ''Amen.'' Amen. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2006.
Archived comments for A FACELESS INTERMENT
Sunken on 06-01-2007
A FACELESS INTERMENT
Hello Mr. Eddie. When I am buried/burned/skipped, I am hoping that no one turns up. I hate social events. I certainly won't be putting any food on. Another strong sub Mr. Ed.

s
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k
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misery becomes him, it goes with his stare

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunk,

Hope you had a nice Xmas and that Santa brought you lovely things.

I must admit that I agree with you, funny how just like weddings, lost family members, friends who you never see suddenly turn up.

Crap to em, take ya will with you then they get nowt!

Si:-)

Gerry on 07-01-2007
A FACELESS INTERMENT
Simon, a good reminder of something that happens everyday.
Tis a sad society it seems when only two or three can see us off.

nicely done...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
I read about this in the paper about a person who only the vicar turned up plus the burial staff. Nobody knew who it was.

Also though, just like I replied to sunk. Family you have never seen always turn up for the free grub. So is that any better? Eat their fill and then melt away again.

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 07-01-2007
A FACELESS INTERMENT
A truly pathetic way to go - but probably not at all uncommon in these days of ruptured relationships. To vanish, without leaving any imprint - a saddening thought, but very well portrayed here. A good read, Si, if not a cheery one!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, most kind.

Must be hard to have a grave that will never have flowers on it or a Christmas card.

Sad indeed.

Si:-)




orangedream on 07-01-2007
A FACELESS INTERMENT
Nice one, Si. A sign of the times certainly. A natural burial me. A good old recycleable cardboard box and I'd be happy. Well, relatively speaking anyway!

kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Yeah, same for me...a no-frills affair. Get on with living.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)


TO LEAVE WITHOUT GOODBYES (posted on: 28-12-06)
It's good to talk...

We never actually talked, conversed, chatted, nattered and whispered. We argued and insulted, spat obscenities- then made love to ease the angst between us. But we never really talked. Never expressed dreams and ideas, only ever shouted our wants and needs. Now, today, right this moment, we are talking. ''Why has it come to this?'' ''Why don't you want me?'' ''Why don't you love me?'' Even now we cannot form words that will cause us to stop and smile. With a last look into sad eyes we leave without goodbyes. Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for TO LEAVE WITHOUT GOODBYES
Andrea on 28-12-2006
TO LEAVE WITHOUT GOODBYES
Enjoyed this, Si 🙂

Author's Reply:
Cheers Andrea,

Glad you liked it.

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

Si:-)

Gerry on 28-12-2006
TO LEAVE WITHOUT GOODBYES
Simon, what on earth were they doing together in the first place? Thought I would ask that before some other smart Alec LoL.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Who knows Gerry? Lust? A love of sausage rolls?

The sad thing is, it does happen, in the end they have nothing in common.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)




orangedream on 29-12-2006
TO LEAVE WITHOUT GOODBYES
Another good piece Si. Really enjoyed this and unfortunately, what you say, so eloquently in your poem, really does happen, in too many relationships, too many times.

Cheers
Tina

Author's Reply:
Why thanks Tina,

glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Corin on 04-01-2007
TO LEAVE WITHOUT GOODBYES
Hi Simon - I liked the use of terminal rhyme in this - a really good finish.

David

Author's Reply:
Hi David,

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

I thought that a rhyme at the end would just finish this free form piece off. Glad you thought so too and that you enjoyed it.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


Fame Unchained yet Clearly Killed (posted on: 28-12-06)
Self absorbed by stardom.

Jovial multitude, embrocate an ego-enlarged and gorged on selfdom. A masseuse of temperance this famed-flame of the momentis not. Struts to rhythms of a selfish core-syncopated to meet ones needs. Ones dreams, long since desiccated, blown away on a fortuitous helix. Roots of yore-dirty hands, nails of chipped labour-forgotten in wealth. Once-just average, average, average, average...life. Now-a waxwork talent, unleashed yet slowly melting. Fame Unchained yet Clearly Killed. Simon Murphy 2006.
Archived comments for Fame Unchained yet Clearly Killed
Sunken on 28-12-2006
Fame Unchained yet Clearly Killed
Blimey, what a big picture you have Mr. Eddie. I worry about people who crave fame so much. There is so much more to life. Give me a lovely lady any day of the week. I hope this helps.

s
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k
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shades of tuna fish

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

Big picture, wanted to convey the bigness of fame or, if the truth be told...got the size wrong lol!

Ta for reading and the rate, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

orangedream on 29-12-2006
Fame Unchained yet Clearly Killed
I liked this Si. Your choice of vocabulary strong and powerful & excellent imagery.

The picture - wow!

kindest regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Sorry for being late in getting back to you.

Glad you liked it, a few comments have disappeared but never mind.

Thanks for reading, commenting and the rate!

Si:-)

eddiesolo on 01-01-2007
Fame Unchained yet Clearly Killed
Thanks to everybody who commented but I never got them.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

woodbine on 02-01-2007
Fame Unchained yet Clearly Killed
Hi Eddie,
How did your rhyming poem go down at school? You look a lot more comfortable with this free form which you exploit in both form and content really well. These are the two lines which summarise it all for me.

Once-just average, average, average, average...life.

Now-a waxwork talent, unleashed yet slowly melting.

Nice work.
John


Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Not done the poem at school yet, that's next Tuesday (dred...lol).

I prefer free form although I have done rhyming in the past...not bad pieces too. I seem to be going blank at the moment, just stare at the bloody screen wondering what to do! Just can't seem to form the words lol!

I'm glad that you thought this worked and enjoyed it, many thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


STAYING INSIDE (posted on: 25-12-06)
Need your help again guys and gals! Been asked to do some more poetry for year 3 at my school in the New Year. Have to come up with a short piece about winter. Rhyming and then freeform. This is the rhyming piece and I need opinions and any suggestions. Do you think it works? Are any of the lines too complicated etc? I will be reading it and doing actions to get across points in the piece. I'm happy with some of the lines but not happy with others...not sure. Just writing a simple rhyming piece is not as easy as it looks...especially as its for a lesson! Ta again, your the best. Si:-)

Hiding in warm rooms behind frosty panes of glass, looking out upon the land a cold and chilly mass. Snowflake angel does drift by on invisible parachute, while whistling wind calls to us, on his magic flute. Little Robins dance around, tracks in the fresh snow, they always seem so happy, even if it is 20 below! Bare limbs twist as old trees creak, all they do is moan, But to be outside in the nude, I can see why they would groan! Turning away from winter scene, curtains closed so I can't peep, I'll leave Jack Frost playing outside, for now its time to sleep. Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for STAYING INSIDE
Corin on 29-12-2006
STAYING INSIDE
I think the best line in this - especially for 9 year old kids is:-

" But to be outside in the nude, I can see why they would groan! "

This sort of risque stuff will set them rolling - trying to develop that theme, so that windows, angels, robins, trees and frost all have a risque side would really make this work as a humourous piece, rather than a rather twee piece for kids with a joke in. (I do not mean that to be derogatory, that `twee' is bad - kids really like `twee', after all that is why twee stuff is twee!-)


Warm Wishes

David

Author's Reply:
Hi David,

Many thanks for your time in looking at this, some good input.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

bobblehat2000 on 31-12-2006
STAYING INSIDE
"Snowflake angel does drift by on invisible parachute,"

I'd change this because kids are never to young to learn to avoid painfully forced language like 'does drift'

"Snowflake angel drifts by on an invisible parachute,"

is probably better.

This:
"But to be outside in the nude, I can see why they would groan!"
doesn't make sense.

I'd suggest:
"But stuck there outside in the nude, it's no wonder that they groan!"

Generally, though, I think the tightness of the form is restricting your ideas.

I think it would help to write it out in free verse so you can create some more interesting images, then try to mould it into the form afterwards.

The image of the snowflake is good and the moaning trees thing is but in the rest of the poem you're really telling the reader that it's frosty and cold, several times, rather than showing them.







Author's Reply:
Hi Booblehat,

Ta for looking and leaving crit and suggestions, much appreciate it.

I am going to do a free-form piece to go with this so we can compare the two. It was this rhyming one that I found hard. I'll say it again, when you have to do one...its the hardest of them all! LOL.

Cheers again.

Si:-)

eddiesolo on 01-01-2007
STAYING INSIDE
Again, my thanks to all for taking the time to look at this piece.

I got some comments and PMs but not all.

Thanks again for your efforts, I appreciate it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


AN EMOTIONAL STRAIGHTJACKET (posted on: 08-12-06)
Some women will suck you dry... Might need some work, let me know. Si:-)

A vamp in tight clothing, many a man's folly, the stories as old as time itself; as old as I feel. Pretty little minx, come-on-eyes and a body- a body to caress, to kiss, to foolishly-love. You know where this is going, right? Fanged erotica, or so I thought- in truth, she drained my energy, my will, my core. I'd lie on the cool bathroom floor, the overflowing sink weeping for me. I watched other men in the neighbourhood, they skulked and hid when she hove into view. Talking, we found that we all had one thing in common- her, a cannibal of feelings that preyed on the weak. I was cast aside when she had taken her fill, empty and pitiful-one more zombie. No stake through the heart, for this femme fatale. Only an emotional straightjacket can keep you sane. Pictures & poem Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for AN EMOTIONAL STRAIGHTJACKET
scotch on 08-12-2006
AN EMOTIONAL STRAIGHTJACKET
hi for me i only need this from the line fanded erotica to femme fatale... but i read them very quickly admitedly... scotch

Author's Reply:
Cheers Scotch for reading,

I can see where your coming from and it would work from that fanged erotica point.

I suppose its cos I want to be seduced by a tight clothed beauty that I added that in lol.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Evitchka on 08-12-2006
AN EMOTIONAL STRAIGHTJACKET
Powerful and heartfelt, despite the emotional straitjacket (yes it can be spelt both ways)-
The poem reminded me of the sentiments in Coleridge's 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci'. This is a modern version.
I think that some of the lines could be tweaked a bit to have even more force. For example I was a little puzzled by this line.
'a cannibal of feelings that preyed on the weak' Is the cannibal preying on the weak? Or feelings preying on the weak?
I love the visuals.

Author's Reply:
Hello Evitchka.

"the beautiful lady without pity" I like that and for you to compare to Keats and Coleridge is, for me, an honour.

I agree that lines good be tightened up, one of the reasons why I asked for help. I had already messed about with it and took some lines out, I like it but never felt it was...well, slightly messy.

The line 'a cannibal of feelings' is that she uses her feelings to trap others and then devours, so to speak, their feelings and emotions. Again it may not have come across as well as I had hoped.

Glad you enjoyed reading and you liked the piccies.

Ta again for your support.

Si:-)




Evitchka on 09-12-2006
AN EMOTIONAL STRAIGHTJACKET
Ooops! Yes it was Keats! Very sweetly pointed out too.
I was hoping that the 'cannibal' line was meaning both things - to trap and then to devour- so the fact that I wanted that means that you evoked that; the power of poetry!
Hope you will do an anthology of poems and piccies.

Author's Reply:
Hello again!

I'm glad that the cannibal line worked for you and you got what you wanted out of it 🙂

'Poetry should... should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts, and appear almost a remembrance.' That's a Keats quote...probably not got any bearing on this piece but I like it LOL.

As for the anthology? I am, slowly getting a book together, but it may not have any pictures in...it costs too much with piccies.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

orangedream on 09-12-2006
AN EMOTIONAL STRAIGHTJACKET
Oh Si - you've done it again with your marvellous art-work and pictures and I LOVE the shape of the poem on the page. Always very important (imo).

What a great quote too, the Keats one - shall have to try and remember it allthough with a butterfly mind - fat chance!

Enjoyed!

Tina 🙂

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 09-12-2006
AN EMOTIONAL STRAIGHTJACKET
Sorry folks, should have been 'although'. A wee typo!!

Tina :-@!

Author's Reply:
Most kind Tina.

Glad you enjoyed reading and the visuals as well.

Si:-)

PS Ta for the rate too!

flossieBee on 13-12-2006
AN EMOTIONAL STRAIGHTJACKET
I also love the shape of the poem. It's as if the poet and the poem both fade out exhausted and defeated.

'The overflowing sink weeping for me' is fantastic.

Very bleak......

Author's Reply:
Hi FB,

Most kind having a read and leaving a comment.

I liked that line too:-)


Ta again.

Si:-)


BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD (posted on: 04-12-06)
Opposites attract. Just found out that there is a Finnish film called 'Tytto sina olet tahti' Finnish title. English: 'Beauty and the Bastard' about opposites attracting. What's the odds on that eh? Me with a poem and a film from Finland with the same title-about the same thing! By the way, I wrote the poem before finding out about the film...honest...I did...truly...I really, really did! Si:-)

Beauty- Porcelain sentiments of flaxen framed tenderness. She- A reminder to all others of- their cartoon ugliness. Bulbous, blackhead infested noses- squinty, piggy colourless eyes. She'd squirm- Wriggle with spasmodic- involuntary twitches of the gorgeous kind. She hated the- dis-proportionate, dis-gusting, dis-tinguished by a spiral staircase of never-ending repulsiveness. Bastard- Face like a sack- crinkled in age, cracked with booze, fags and hate. Piggy eyes roam while fat deformed ears hear, only what he wants. He'd squirm- wriggle with urgent- groin-tingling twitches of the fucking kind. He loved the- dis-tressed, dis-membered, dis-figured by a rusty railed alleyway of never-ending gratification. Beauty met bastard as that spiral staircase ended at rusty railed alleyway. She- stepping off, dainty footwork scything the air from step to grubby, infectious floor. He- Brutal in attempts to pacify, struggling female is marooned as swift hands grab firm. Two different styles, two different meanings, from two very different worlds. Like chalk and cheese, apples and oranges. Nothing in common...except, one raw common emotion. In the end it led to just one thing- Beauty and the bastard got married and lived happy ever after... Or did they? 😉 Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
scotch on 04-12-2006
BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
i like this and am baffled as to why you never get great read stickers???...scotch

Author's Reply:
Hi Scotch,

Glad you liked this, I'm not too sure on the ending.

It started out as a nonsense type piece, but after reading it, I do like the first two parts and think the ending could be worked on to get it better, that is if I can be arsed 🙂

To be honest I wasn't going to do a pic for this and I'm really pleased I did, to me its one the best pics I have done!

As for the great read nibs? They only come when there ready.

Thanks again for your support.

Si:-)


ThePhoenix on 05-12-2006
BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
wow this is the first of yours I have read but am definitely going to read more, I loved your grotesque descriptions.

thanks dX

Author's Reply:
Hi Phoenix,

Many thanks to you, and I'm glad that you enjoyed reading.

As for grotesque? I just have to look in the mirror lol.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Rupe on 07-12-2006
BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
A good one.

A literal translation of tytto, sina olet tahti would actually be 'girl, you're a star' (but does that matter? - not really...)

Author's Reply:
Hi Rupe,

Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for the heads-up regarding the title translation. I found the site with the film on it and it had this with an English version at the side, I took this as the meaning.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Sunken on 07-12-2006
BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
Hello Eddie of the Solo persuasion. Couldn't help but notice that the anon rater/s has visited you. Why do we have anon rating anyway? Why do I get erections? They are seldom put to any good use. Anyway, that's not important right now. I hope this helps.

s
u
n
k
e
n

regrets the cowboy outfit

Author's Reply:
Hello Mr sunken of erection fame. You have told me that your erections are seldom put to good use, yet I know...that you're always having a pull...can't leave the old sausage alone! Unless it is due to that cowboy outfit? You're not trying to be the cowboy from YMCA? Poor boy...will he ever learn!

Anyhoots...ta for reading and for rating and yes...anon did come along and slap a rate on it. I think that whoever it is feels sorry for lost lonely poems and tries to cheer them up...bless em.

And anything you put down helps...maybe...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)


Jolen on 09-12-2006
BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
Si; i believe you! You have some really fine lines here, dear! I look forward to reading more of your work. I hope you and yours are well.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Jolen!

Long time no hear...no see...what ever!

Hope your okay?

Thank you for reading and pleased that you enjoyed it.

Missed you around here:-(

Take care.

Si:-)

Bradene on 09-12-2006
BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
A really good piece Si I believe one of your best, and I too have to wonder where in hell is the nib! Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Most kind are your words my dear:-)

I can only say, the great nib giver will give when he/she is ready.

But your comment and the rate is just perfect.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Ionicus on 09-12-2006
BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
A clever piece Si. Don't worry about the nib. It has the habit of appearing when you least expect it.
Have a ten as a compensation for its absence.

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi,

Most kind for thinking this a clever piece, I placed it under 'plain daft' as I didn't really see this as any good!

Thanks for reading and the generous rate.

Si:-)

flossieBee on 10-12-2006
BEAUTY AND THE BASTARD
Maybe her superficiality 'porcelain sentiments' ?? is balanced by his grotesque appearance.

Love your descriptions.

I've seen one ortwo Finnish films and I can imagine the dark and sombre humour of the one that you found.

Author's Reply:
Hi there FB,

You could be right in what you say. I think my wife is beautiful, yet she married a gargoyle like me lol.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, glad you liked my descriptions.

Si:-)


LOVE GAMES (posted on: 01-12-06)
Bit of an experiment this one. I started off doing a smooth, detailed piece but then decided to just have it broken and short, that may make no sense at all lol!

Counters and tokens are we, gazing at each other- awaiting that roll of the die. O O O O O O Six perfecto pips. Your away-with a smile. Roll again. O O O O O O Another six. Cubed happiness falling from playful hands. O O O Three. Finally to rest, with that smooth talking Jack of Clubs- so plastic, so crisp; so with you. 'Gin!' I hear, as laughing King's and Queen's give you court. I know I'm losing, too many snakes-no ladders. Too many 'go to jail, go directly to jail.' And never, ever, passing 'go.' Losing my marbles- Kerplunk. Different colours- a Rubik's agony. Jigsaw lovers- different pieces, different pictures. You: A corner in sunshine mirth. Me: A corner of darkest despair. Poem and picture Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for LOVE GAMES
Bradene on 01-12-2006
LOVE GAMES
this is interesting and very original Si I like it. thought the last line was rather sad though. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Glad you enjoyed reading this, it is sad but in any game there are winners and losers.

Thanks for the rate too.

Si:-)

scotch on 01-12-2006
LOVE GAMES
liked it, is it loosing or losing (double query)... scotch

Author's Reply:
Hello scotch,

Thanking you for reading and commenting.

It should be 'Losing', thanks for pointing that out.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

orangedream on 01-12-2006
LOVE GAMES
I do love the illustrations you put on with your pieces Si. They are always a pleasure to look at as your poetry is a pleasure to read.

I'm hopeless at card games and the like and I absolutely hate Monopoly and detest Cluedo. Mind you, I'll play Scrabble anyday or Charades!

Enjoyed.

Tina :-0)

Author's Reply:
Why, most kind Tina, glad you like it.

I'll tell ya what...how about a game of Tiddlywinks? BUT PLEASE LET ME WIN!

Si:-)

Ta for the rate too!




Gemini-Janus on 02-12-2006
LOVE GAMES

Despite your stated reservations, I believe this experiment works pretty well.

Your central conceit - that the relationship is a series of games - is not particularly original, of course. But you depict it with an appropriate playfulness, until you reveal the game is ultimately lost.



Author's Reply:
Hi G-J,

Many thanks to you for looking and reading.

Glad you thought that this piece worked.

Si:-)


Granddad on 03-12-2006
LOVE GAMES
When the kids were small, we played "Lie-Dice". This took me back to those days. I feel nostalgic, and that's nice.

Harry C



Author's Reply:
Hi Harry,

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Lie-dice? Is that similar to Liar's -dice? The dice having Jack, Queen, King (poker dice).

Glad it took you back.

Si:-)




Granddad on 03-12-2006
LOVE GAMES
Yes, Simon, it is liar's dice.


Author's Reply:
Right, cheers for that Harry.

Si:-)

Kat on 06-12-2006
LOVE GAMES
Si, I think this is very unusual and very good - great all round presentation with your graphics too.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Hello Kat,

Thanks for thinking that this good, glad that you enjoyed reading.

Si:-)

Evitchka on 08-12-2006
LOVE GAMES
I love the visuals- nippy and profound at the same time

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and I'm glad that you liked it!

Si:-)


DANCING WITHOUT YOU (posted on: 27-11-06)
NEED YOUR HELP GUYS AND GALS! I got asked to come up with a piece about not drinking and driving. I am still having problems with my eyes, so concentration is at a premium and this is probably not the best. Your thoughts much appreciated. Does it read too soft? Ta for your help. Si:-)

DANCING WITHOUT YOU Eyes closed, your reflection appears. A silken angel to save me once more. Reaching unsteady- we touch, savouring souls enflamed. Music- long distance, melodies of love. The tinkling piano is just the sound of broken glass. The lovers tune is now garrotted by banshee sirens. Opening my eyes, your bloodied face- no longer smiles. And if you could- a toothless grin would be. I tell you- ''I'm sorry,'' I whisper- ''I love you,'' Your silence is more than any words you could say. I couldn't say 'no' to you. I couldn't say 'no' to drink. And for ever more- I shall be dancing without you. Simon Murphy 2006 John (e-griff) had a look at my piece and came up with the poem below. Let me know which parts work from both poems or which style works. Thanks again John. Eyes closed, an image of you appears. A silken angel, glass in hand, reaching unsteady. We touch, our thirsting souls inflamed, wrapped in the melodies of love. The tinkling piano's turned to breaking glass. Our lover's tune become a banshee wail. Opening my eyes, I see your bloodied face. But you no longer smile. And if you could? A death's head grin. I tell you I'm sorry, I whisper, ''I love you,'' Your silence tells me all I need to know. I couldn't say no. I couldn't say, 'No!' And for evermore, I shall be dancing without you. Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for DANCING WITHOUT YOU
e-griff on 27-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
God Eddie, that second one is inspired! Whoever wrote that one is a bloody genius! God, I feel like never reading poetry again as this must be the zenithof the art....


(er, just trying to get some bugger to comment)

C'mon you poets!!!!

Author's Reply:

Kat on 27-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
Si, strong writes here - I think Griffy has honed your poem to a pretty darn good impression of perfection! ;o) It's very good, and between the two of you, the second poem is definitely worthy of the task (an important one) you've been set.

I'm just querying.

'Our lover’s tune become a banshee wail.' - ? should be 'becomes'.

Is this for a school?

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat,

Many apologies to to you and everyone for being late in replying.
Got a virus on the pc and had to sort the bloody thing out.

Thanks for the comment and I do like what John and Romany-Sue sent me a PM, have done to the piece.

It isn't for a school, I was asked to do a piece that could appear in a local paper.

Ta for looking.

Si:-)

e-griff on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
nah, honey, it's poetic speak - meant to be ... (actually an elision of 'has' become) what keatsy and those other arty farty buggers did. Good enuff, eh? *spits, drinks liquor, and farts*

gen'lm'n poet thass me ... hic!

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
I see that griff has got the collaborative bug. It must be the experience gained from the Poetry challenge.
Si's good ideas have been expertly polished by John and I agree it reads better. (We'll never hear the end of it!)
I disagree about the elision. If you want to use an elision it should read:
'Our lover’s tune's become a banshee wail.'

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi,

Many thanks for taking a look at my piece.

I have had some good ideas so will hopefully put something together.

Thanks again for your time.

Si:-)

Kat on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
I agree with the lovely, Luigi - his elision is much better than yours, Griffpicky... yours clunks, in fact, it's clinkless (more to the point). *spits, drinks liquor, throws darts at Griff's effigy*

Kat ;o)

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
well, I've been editing stuff for years trying to keep the authors voice but hone it - that's what I do, book upon book 🙂

and on 'become' - classically, that is 100pc kosher. no matter what you both think, I'm sorry. 🙂

Author's Reply:

Kat on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
Yes, Mr Griffy, you are well able to edit stuff and keep the author's voice (perfectly honed), don't think anyone suggested otherwise, in fact, very nice things were said about Si's poem and your input - thanks/acknowledgement for that would be nice, but... I don't want to appear pushy. ;o)

And kosher your 'become' might well be, but... it doesn't sound good or right - isn't this a case of (more) common usage taking over from what may be correct? Linguistics evolves like everything else.

At the end of the day, it's up to the author, and I'm far from an expert.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

Hazy on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
Okay, thought it was good and to the point.

Found these lines clunky:

"Your silence is more
than any words you could say."

which, even as I read it, I saw:

"Your silence says more
than any words could ever say [/ express / etc. ]

That last line could be a whole heap of things - whatever you feel works best. 'Express' is the best that came to mind just now, but it is late and I'm away with the fairies.

I'd lose 'just' in the following:

The tinkling piano is just the sound of broken glass.
The lovers tune is now garrotted by banshee sirens.

It's one of those words that's kinda meaningless and I use it far too much and have to chop out loads of them in prose. It's more meaningful to say it IS something rather than it's LIKE something. Yours was doing that just (arghhh) fine, so IMO you can afford to lose it. Works well with poetry. Also maybe use a comma in the 2nd line of that. I'd say:

The tinkling piano is the sound of broken glass.
The lovers tune, now garrotted by banshee sirens.

Don't like the 'toothless grin' line as it's kinda comical sounding and doesn't sit right with me. Would say something about a 'damaged/tarnished/broken smile'. You talk about the face, ie 'it' then 'you' in the next line. You should be 'it' really to read right. Maybe:

Opening my eyes,
your bloodied face-
no longer smiles.
And if it could-
it would be broken.
Like my memory of you.
I tell you-
“I’m sorry,”
I whisper-
“I love you,”
Your silence is more
than any words you could say.

Dunno if that's any help. Too many voddies, not enough sleep. Catch you 'ron, Si.

Hazy xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Hazy.

Thank you for taking a look and commenting.

Being having probs with my pc, sorry for being late in getting back to you.

Have lots of ideas from you all, so will try and sort something out-hopefully.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

e-griff on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
OK, unfortunately I was commenting while watching tv after a nice meal and sipping the remains fo my wine. So I was rather flippant and a bit rambly 🙂

To explain: Actually, the 'has' is contained in the earlier 'piano's turned ... just as Luigi has recommended for the second instance.

So the model is: He's turned the corner, seen the van.
rather than of He's turned the corner, he's seen the van.
So there should, in fact, be a comma at the end of the first line, which would make it clearer.

OK?

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
Very punchy, and gets the point across with suitable vigour - the second version does read more easily, being somewhat less staccato. Though this suits the grim material, a smoother flow provides more contrast between the before and after situations. Oh, the recurring argument: yes,
...tune become...can be correct, as would be ...tune's become...
but I'd far prefer it if it agreed with the previous line as follows:
...tinkling piano turned...rather than tinkling piano's turned. For two lines that have an obvious affinity, make 'em match!
I'd miss out the 's from both lines, adding a previous line like
"In an instant..."
Anyway, it's your poem - suit yourself!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Ta mate for looking and commenting.

I liked the original style but wasn't sure that it came across smoothly, hence asking for help and any ideas. As it could be read by the public then I wanted it to be more uniform without people trying to figure it out, or looking too arty.

Thanks again much appreciate your input.

Si:-) Sorry I'm late...bloody computer troubles.


scotch on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
hi i think it is a fine poem the origional...scotch

Author's Reply:
Hi Scotch,

Thanking you for taking the time to have a look.

Glad you liked the original piece. I wasn't too sure as this piece could end up in a local paper so just wanted any ideas.

Thanks again mate.

Si:-)

e-griff on 28-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
I agree with Roy that that usage is also valid. However, in this instance there is a reason for using the 'piano's turned' The first verse refers to the past, and the phrase is deliberately selected to show the transition to the present for the second, the shift in events, that something has happened. Luigi's suggestion would do the same job, I agree, but I prefer mine as being 'smoother'. Roy's doesn't do the job in this context, IMO. JOhnG

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Thanks for the forum post and the discussion on here. I've got a few ideas so will try and get something together.

Thanks again for your time, much appreciated.

Si:-) Sorry being late...pc had a virus and buggered it up.

Gerry on 29-11-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
Simon, I have always liked your individual style of writing.
How mich you want to be influenced is up to you...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Thank you for kind words and I'm glad that you like my style.

I offered this out as it could be placed in the local papers. I supposed I wanted any ideas to make it classy, readable and get the point across.

Well I've got a few ideas so will have a go at putting something together.

Cheers again.

Si:-)

soman on 03-12-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
Si,

If this is an example of the celebrated professional rivalry between poets, I am all for it : it seems to bring out the best in both.

How about institutionalising the idea?

Soman

Author's Reply:
Hi Soman,

I have seen rivalry between writers who try to out-do each other on a 'newbie' or inexperienced writer. This has of course been on other sites, pretty sad really.

Nope, I asked for help on this. I like the staccato style of my writing but felt it didn't work for this piece so...HELP! And the good people here responded.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)


e-griff on 03-12-2006
DANCING WITHOUT YOU
in this case, Simon asked me privately to 'have a go' at his poem and I said I could do a 'coarse and brutal' 🙂 it was his choice to post it, although he asked me for agreement. So it wasn't 'rivalry' as such.

In a similar vein, though, on Monday you will see a number of poems that have been written by pairs of us collaborating in each case - this was Ionicus's poetry challenge (see poetry workshop - blind date poetry) . I was lucky enough to be paired with Val (Bradene) --- so take a look MOnday!

Author's Reply:
No rivalry at all John, just grateful for the help.

You and others have given me a lot to work on.

Si:-)



SWEET DREAMS (posted on: 20-11-06)
REM

Slow, deliberate steps, one after another. Once youthful footfall now set by faded, old shadows. Faded into years long gone by a worn out, bleached sun. A brook slithers past- I linger, searching for good times. But, tears of joy and pain, are mingled as one. A cry from cerebrum Blackbird, stirs me. And my inner sight catches the old Oak. Bare and aged he twists and stoops, struggling to hide his brittle, leaf-less form. Mature in stature. Wise in knowledge. Truth Ancient and dying. Awaiting the rotting end. I moan with despair, but quietly of course- not because I'm tired. I gasp almost noiseless, to keep the predators away. If they hear my anguish, I know they will appear. Galloping demons with talons of nightmares. They heard me! They heard me! Best to wake up now. Time to wake up now! Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for SWEET DREAMS
SugarMama34 on 20-11-2006
SWEET DREAMS
Hiya eddiesolo,
what an interesting poem I found this to be. This flowed so well on the page as I read it out loud to myself. I really loved the imagery in this, which I think is a must for any reader, whether it's poem or story. Your descriptiveness is good as is your word choice. It held my interest all the way through and I found it fasinating to read.
Great ending to to such a unique piece of work.

Hugs,

Sugar.xx


Author's Reply:
Why, hello there Sugar.

Many thanks for the wonderful comment.

So pleased that you thought it worked.

Si:-)


orangedream on 21-11-2006
SWEET DREAMS
Gosh I love those lines:-

'Galloping demons
with talons of nightmares'

I agree with SugarMama, an interesting, original write with some marvellous imagery. Thank you Si.

kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Tina, most kind indeed.

Glad you liked reading.

Si:-)

flossieBee on 21-11-2006
SWEET DREAMS
A very powerful build up and quite surreal.

fB

Author's Reply:
Hi FB,

Many thanks for your comment.

Glad you thought it powerful:-)

Ta again.

Si:-)

Gerry on 21-11-2006
SWEET DREAMS
Simon, I would say this is one of your best poems.
Well written indeed...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Gerry, for thinking that this is one of my best!

Glad you liked it mate.

Si:-)

e-griff on 21-11-2006
SWEET DREAMS
Some may say, 'here is a talentless fellow who writes poetry of no worth whatsoever, what is this for?'

But I'm certainly not one of them 🙂

Nice read, IMO. JohnG

Author's Reply:
Thanking you kind sir.

Glad you like it!

Si:-)

scotch on 22-11-2006
SWEET DREAMS
hello, wonderful but i wondered if 'they hear me , they hear me' is better?...scotch

Author's Reply:
Hi Scotch,

Ta for having a look and leaving a comment.

You could be right...I may change it. Ta for the suggestion.

Si:-)

littleditty on 25-11-2006
SWEET DREAMS
HI Si - i liked this. especially the snaking slithering brook. One thing got me the first time i read - but then i didnt notice again except when i looked for it - and that is *becomes shy* your two buts!

I moan with despair,
but quietly of course.
But not because I’m tired.


I moan with despair,
but quietly of course,
and not because I’m tired.

or a double work out and remove both buts! I apologise -i think i just need to go to the gym 😉

i thought the ending was well done -difficult to put the smile in this - nice one Si xxldx:O)



Author's Reply:
Hi LD ta very much for reading.

I see, two buts...never noticed to be honest.

Does make that stanza seem a tad clumsy.

Ta again.

Si:-)


jay12 on 27-11-2006
SWEET DREAMS
This is great, I love the ending. Really sounded like panic and despair.

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Hi Jay.

Many thanks to you for reading and commenting.

Glad that you liked it.

Si:-)


YOU (posted on: 06-11-06)
A misty morn on a harbour thinking of you...

I pace without purpose along a harbour of mournful grey, morn brings upon us a sleepy, watery sun that throws back, begrudgingly, the blanket of night. Chill of remembrance stings and surges as hands thrust deep into soulful pockets. From behind rusty rails, I watch outstretched waves bring you closer- rolling towards me then steal you away before I glimpse your sparkling image. With eyes closed the bell buoy peals- my time is over. I leave behind my heart as your anchor and take away your salty kiss. Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for YOU
Romany on 06-11-2006
YOU
You probably know that I love images of the sea and water. This is lovely. Like the 'anchor' reference, nice one SI,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Sue for reading.

Yeah, I liked that reference too.

Ta again.

Si:-)

orangedream on 07-11-2006
YOU
Beautiful imagery in this one Si. I too love poetry about the sea and you are especially good at writing them.

kindest regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Your comment is most kind Tina, thank you.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

petersjm on 07-11-2006
YOU
I like this. There's something gentle about it. Oh, and congrats on the recent publication! PJ.

Author's Reply:
Hi PJ, sorry its been a while getting back to you.

Thank you on the congrats and thank you for reading and commenting.

Glad you liked it.

Si 🙂

Kat on 08-11-2006
YOU
Beautiful, Si.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Why thank you Kat, glad you thought it was beautiful.

Si:-)


THE BLOATED POET (posted on: 03-11-06)
Tis time for every poet to gather their poems and sleep the winter sleep.

Gorging-stuffed silly on expression and phrase- Pastel shades add colour to a dispose of spaghetti sentences, all washed down with a fine leafy russet noun. Tis just right this palate I write- Setting the scene for low slung sun, as autumn spreads its elongated shadows. Soon the foraging of a whipped up canto ends as I winterize my scrapbook of verse. Then this bloated poet can coil up and hibernate. Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for THE BLOATED POET
Romany on 03-11-2006
THE BLOATED POET
Interesting metaphor here, very different. I love 'low slung sun.'

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sue,

'Low slung sun' reminds me of cowboy film.

Pleased you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Gerry on 03-11-2006
THE BLOATED POET
Simon, some good lines here--making an enjoyable read.
Nice one...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry, sorry its taken so long to get back to you.

Glad you enjoyed reading.

Thanks again.
Si:-)

Sunken on 04-11-2006
THE BLOATED POET
How I would dearly love to hibernate at this time of year young Eddie of Solo fame. Even my willy suffers with these extreme dips in temperature. I can ill afford to have the little bugger getting any smaller and am hoping to invest in a pair of cashmere pants. I hasten to add, it will be fake. The cashmere I mean, not my willy. This comment has gone all wrong. I shall leave quietly and we can pretend it never happened. Well done on another strong sub.

s
u
n
k
e
n

last in ikea

Author's Reply:
My apologies for taking a while to get back to your small chilled willy, my sympathies to you 🙁

Sorry, just saw the last bit of your comment...ahem...never saw you enter, leave a comment and slink away. We shall never speak of this again 😉

Ta for reading and glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

orangedream on 04-11-2006
THE BLOATED POET
Why is always my lot to follow you Sunken. Because, quite simly, nobody can follow you.

Sorry, Si. What I really wanted to say was great poem and as has been said, good use of metaphor.

I'm very partial myself to a drop of the old 'leafy russet noun' - chilled of course.

kindest regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Thank you for reading and pleased you liked it *raises a glass of 'leafy russet noun'*

Si:-)

Dazza on 04-11-2006
THE BLOATED POET
What? No more for four months? Will you plug your butt with fur? and like magic wake up with a shitload of good poems collected in your jowels? Nifty poem and goodnight, Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Why hello Dazza, *yawns* sorry mate not bored with you, just getting myself ready for the long snooze.

I tried fur but it made my arse itch so bad it kept me awake most of the winter, woke up a right grumpy bastard...well, more than normal.

As for the shitload of good poems...depends how grumpy I am. Hope Santa doesn't wake me up this year. Last year his bloody reindeer made so much noise I had to give them all a red nose! Ho-Ho-Ho that you red suited git! See...I'm getting all moody now *yawns again*.

Better snuggle down...night night Dazza.

Si:-)


Kat on 04-11-2006
THE BLOATED POET
Haha... laughing at Dazza's comment... and looking forward to reading your answer, Si! This is wonderfully quirky and original - great work!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Quirky is my middle name Kat! Actually it isn't...it could be many swear words...Simon 'swear word' Murphy. Many people use my name like this...anyway I digress my dear.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

SugarMama34 on 05-11-2006
THE BLOATED POET
Hiya! Some good wording in this that I enjoyed reading. A short but intersting poem. See you in hibernation, it's getting too cold to stay around lately to write.

Hugs,

Sugar.xx

Author's Reply:
If we all go into hibernation they will be no one left!

We will have to get Andrea to turn up the electric fire.

Glad you enjoyed reading and sorry it has taken a while to get back to you.

Si:-)

Zoya on 05-11-2006
THE BLOATED POET
Quite a yummy meal you have gorged yourself with! How big is your hump dear Simon? Will it last four months? Question is will the UKA last that long without you? lol
Will miss you!
(((hugs))
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya,

Still stuffing my face at the moment, sorry shouldn't type with my mouthful.

As for hump/gut? Its getting bigger all the time.

Going to use this poem as my last one in a book of poems I'm putting together, think it will round it off.

Thank you for reading and the lovely comment.

Si:-)


PARONOMASIAN PRICK (posted on: 30-10-06)
P.

Posted Poetry Plainly Paraded Partake Peruse Parochial Passer-by Patronise Phonetic Pah! Parasitic Pariah Perfection Palabra ''Piss-pot'' <(ojo)> Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for PARONOMASIAN PRICK
e-griff on 30-10-2006
PARONOMASIAN PRICK
P's be with you, brother!

so that's what: 'verbal diarrhoea - a word in your rear' is called!

Author's Reply:
Cheers John,

Er...yeah, just a load of tosh.

Si:-)


e-griff on 05-11-2006
PARONOMASIAN PRICK
did you understand? I meant that little ne-line poem I wrote once is paronomasic (as is P's on you)

Author's Reply:
Sorry John,

Not with it, and no, didn't understand...apologies from me to you.

Si:-)


DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER (posted on: 27-10-06)
Er...not too sure on this one, a bit like 'Who killed Cock-Robin'...whatever 😉

''I put it to you, for it was he!'' Cried Raven prosecutor, Black-gloved wing aimed at me. Eruptions glide down from tree branch portico, Chirps, squawks and coos- symphony of gaggling head-hunter hawks, watching, talons expect the early-morn worm. ''Order, order, order I say!'' Wise judge Owl plies gavel to quieten the play. Verdict: ''Guiiiilty''! Wigeon, the head juror whistles. Ruffled feathers settle, preened to babbling Rook. To the coop they know, no appeal will bestow. Chiffchaff killer killed grey-green Casanova, yellow-tinged throated 'hoo-eet'- strangled to limp silence. ''Away with you Chiffchaff, jealous cousin of the dead rest of your days in the birdcage!'' The wise judge Owl finally said. Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
Kat on 28-10-2006
DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
Si, I love the way your mind works - this brought a raucous cheep or two from me - enjoyed!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat,

Wish I knew how my mind works...can't figure out the manual.

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for reading.

Si:-)

orangedream on 29-10-2006
DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
Love the lines :-

'Chiffchaff killer killed grey-green Casanova,"
and
'symphony of gaggling head-hunter hawks,"

What great sounds you have in here Si.

Tweet, tweet!!

regards
Tina



Author's Reply:
You just caught me on this one, I was going to delete it as apart from Kat there seemed to be no takers for this. Figured it didn't go down too well.

I shall of course leave it up.

Glad you liked Tina and giving it a generous rate.

Si:-)

dylan on 04-11-2006
DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
For weeks I have bitten my tongue, but if the site is to have any shred of credibilty, then someone has to speak up.
This is awful.
Not weak. Not poor.Awful.
What is being attempted here?-It`s not allegorical, not particularly humourous. Even as a child`s poem it just doesn`t work.
Does anyone honestly think that lines like -
"“Order, order, order I say!”
Wise judge Owl plies gavel
to quieten the play. "
are at the cutting edge of contemporary poetry?
There are 12 year olds who could offer more imaginative wordplay.
For something like this to be in the most read category of UKA is an indication of how much the site has deteriorated.


Author's Reply:
Hello Dylan,



Most nice of you to pop in and leave a nice comment.



I'll admit it may not be the most perfect piece of poetry, it was done just as a piece of fun.



You know FUN! I may not be the worlds greatest at the written word but I don't think that all my work is that bad.



Please read more of my pieces and if you have the same view of my work then I'll bugger off and leave the site to more deserving people like yourself.



Thanks again.



Si








dylan on 04-11-2006
DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
No need. It`s all yours. I have no intention of posting any more work on UKA.
What do you want me to say? That this is a fine piece of work? Try submitting it to a reasonable quality lit mag. Is your sole motivation for writing to seek praise? Then ignore nasty people like me.

Author's Reply:
I don't want you to say its a good piece, it probably isn't...not in your eyes.

You seem to be judging the state of this site on this sole piece.

It was, as I have stated just a bit of fun, a different approach to adding rhyming and non-rhyming. The piece just came to me and I wrote it down, maybe I could have changed it...I didn't. I LIKED IT.

You have offered no sound advice apart from this piece is to blame for the site going crap! Not very supportive from a man who's work (or so he thinks) is a cut above the rest.

I would never submit this piece to a reasonable quality lit mag as even I know it isn't brilliant.

Have you read anything else by me? If not then please don't judge me or imply that my work is pulling the site down on this sole piece! That is rude and ignorant.

If you choose that I and this site are beneath you and you feel you can no longer post here then all I can say is...that is shame, I have read your work and have enjoyed it.

Si




dylan on 04-11-2006
DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
I offer no sound advice because I don`t think this particular piece of work is going anywhere. If you like it then, ok, fine.
What I said was that the fact that this piece of work featured in the most read category was indicative of the general decline in the standard of poetry on the site-in my opinion.
Please don`t put words in my mouth.I think this is poor. At no time have I indicated that I am a "cut above the rest".
Nor did I say that the site was "beneath me".
But look, don`t listen to me.As it is obviously important to you, someone will massage your ego soon.



Author's Reply:
Maybe you need to be more subtle in how you conduct yourself regarding commenting.

Your original comment was IMO putting the blame for the way this site is going as down to work like this. I have said It was probably not the best...I liked it as OBVIOUSLY others did, I can't help that. We can't all be the great!

There was no need for you to have a go and start slating it like you did, if you had any manners you could have PM me and suggested that it was crap and why. You offer no suggestions to the piece yet you slag it off...you can't see it going anywhere...can't be that good a poet then can you? I'm sure you could have come up with something?

This site is for many writers of differing talents, your work is good, my piece in this case, in your eyes was poor...fine, I can take that. What I cannot take is the way you bullied your way with the comment. Again, the piece is not very good...SORRY FOR THAT! And you have the right to say so, but the way you did it was bullish.

You have just stated in this comment that you think your work is a 'cut above the rest' by stating that just because it sat in the most read category was an indication of the general decline in the standard of poetry. You have read ONE piece of mine...so again, don't judge!

As for the site being beneath you...you told me that you wasn't going to post here anymore...I took that as the site no longer fulfilled your needs as a poet and was full of rubbish!

IMO my poetry may not be to your standards, but it isn't too bad.

I understand your argument for better pieces but you are not going to get that from a site like this, as I have said we all differ in talent. I am still learning, I have had some really good crit on my pieces that I have tried to use so please don't think that I'm just here for all the glory...I'm not. I'm here to try my hand at something that I did enjoy.

Si




admin on 05-11-2006
DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
Like the comp, the site's just here to be used; and it's for all sorts of people. Nic may not be posting recently, for whatever reasons, and Swep doesn't post much new work either, though he's in the anthology and has just ordered copies and also reinforced his support for the site. Shelagh and Jon haven't posted recently, though Pully has.
And Barenib, Woodbine and Chant frequently post. And there is some interesting, fresh work from some others - but such a workshop/draft site needs, by definition, to be
flexible and open to writers of all levels.

It's not an insult to poetry that some people write bits of nonsense or twee or pert meanderings that could never be considered for publication by a modern poetry journal.
Of course the anthology may not be a work of art, either, but there is good work in it as well as weaker and unpolished work; some of it may be awkward and obvious,
even trite, to many readers, but might resonate with others.

UKA is just a site and has to accommodate people as people, not classified by talent and skill, that's the whole point. What's the purpose of attacking it? It's very discouraging, to me, after all the work I put into UKA. Frankly, it makes me want to shut up shop altogether.

Also, sometimes pieces of work get into the most-read lists just because, for instance, they're controversial - that doesn't mean we should get upset and censor them.

UKA is here for writers of all abilities - we have members who write for a living and those who write for fun. Both are welcome.

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 05-11-2006
DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
Surely all someone with those views has to do is set up their own private crit site (free on smart-groups) and invite people they personally think are 'good' to join in? that would do it.

Author's Reply:

SugarMama34 on 11-11-2006
DEATH OF WILLOW WARBLER
Hiya - I personally thought that this was a fun write for older children, maybe 10+, I think it is an interesting view, what you have done as was the story. I liked your word choice, if there was something about it I didn't like I would tell you constructively but politley. This is an unusual story which I think older kids will like.

Hugs,

Sugar.xx

Author's Reply:
Hello Sugar...If I may be so bold to add, what a lovely sweet comment...get it...sugar...sweet....sorry:-)

I'm glad that you enjoyed this and for the sincere comment.

Thanks for your support.

Si:-)


VIOLATION OF BODY AND MIND (posted on: 23-10-06)
OnE mOmEnT-oNe WoMaN-a LiFeTiMe Of PaIn. Contains adult language. I apologise if this piece offends.

Watching, leering, yearning, sounding the source of your cry and yelp as I force sweet intercourse. Sobs and pleas are mistreated like your cunt I'm in your mind with each magnificent grunt. Semen erupts tainting your sacred hole broken your spirit and taken your soul. Animal-snarling, hearing a sweet, sweet song departing as if nothing I have done is wrong. Trouble you no more as I search for new prey but it will stay with you a lifetime- what I did to you this day. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for VIOLATION OF BODY AND MIND
Romany on 23-10-2006
VIOLATION OF BODY AND MIND
As I said to you Si, I can't see how the poem is offensive in or of itself. It is the act of rape that is offensive. We discussed the use of the 'c' word too, and I stand by what I said; you have used it here to highlight an extremely brutal act, in this context it is meant to be crude and vulgar (although as far as I am concerned the word is always crude and vulgar, I don't care what Germaine Greer says!) and I think it works to illustrate your theme. No offence taken here at all, and congratulations on having the courage to post it.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hello Sue,

Thank you for reading and I'm pleased that it didn't offend.

Ta gain for having a wee look and letting me know your thoughts.

Si:-)

Kat on 23-10-2006
VIOLATION OF BODY AND MIND
And this indeed is the/a voice of the/a rapist and effectively portrays the ability of the predator to stay in the mind set of the animal, committing a base act. Well done on that achievement, Si.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Kat for reading and commenting.

Had to run this piece by Romany as I wasn't going to post it. Glad that you thought it worked in a depraved, sick minded way. I didn't want to upset anybody with it.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Corin on 23-10-2006
VIOLATION OF BODY AND MIND
Hi Simon - not sure why you wanted to put this in the first person - it does of course make it more direct and shocking but then would such a man have the insight to write the last two lines? It seems too empathetic for a rapist to me though of course he will have got a great deal of excitement from the violence and exercise physical power involved in such an act.
Your use of the word `cunt' is of course effective and I think it is really quite a beautiful word even though it it has been scarred and dirtied by hundreds of years of sexual repression. It is the proper English word for vagina as used by Chaucer:-

From the Wife of Bath's Proloque - haranguing her old husband on his jealousy.

Have thou ynogh, what thar thee recche or care
How myrily that othere folkes fare?
For, certeyn, olde dotard, by youre leve,
Ye shul have queynte right ynogh at eve.

Translation by me:-
Do you have enough, why then should you calculate or care
How much other people get for their merriment?
Certainly old man, excuse me,
You shall have cunt enough at night.

On the whole this a word we should reclaim just as `shit' and `piss' are good anglo saxon words. I am not so sure about `fuck' as its germanic meaning is `to knock' so it sounds more like a crude euphemism like `screw'. What the original anglo saxon term is I am unsure. Chaucer uses `swyve' which sounds better to me but is quite archaic.. All the other words we use are either euphamisms "make love" or crude euphamisms "shag" or latinate words considered acceptable because of their medical use "sexual intercourse".

Best wishes

David





Author's Reply:
Hi David,

I agree that a man would probably not give a damn about how she would feel but I wanted to round the piece off. The first person POV was, as you pointed out to make it more direct as if I'm the rapist. I'm trying to get a grip on this subject without going too over the top, I wanted it short as would be most sex attacks. As I don't have first hand experience I was troubled as to how to approach such a matter.

As for the rest of your comment I found it really interesting and that's what I like about UKA, you're always learning.

Thanks again David for taking the time to read and comment.

All the best.

Si:-)



ORBITAL (posted on: 23-10-06)
ASTRAL LOVERS.

Skating we swirl around Dante's flames; sinners stretch out with dubious desires. Ignorant, we skirt past quandary advice given on what we propose. We flit from constellations, made up of course, to meet our needs. The Great 69: mutual attachment. The Rigid Fornication: red nebula vagina awaiting my streaming comet. Circumnavigating each other we re-enter, tenderly, slowly heating our passion. Riding moonbeams we splashdown into a lake of Champagne, scattering winged love hearts that dart away. Surfacing we gasp in orgasmic infusion, in concert we laze 'neath Milky-Way veil. Poem & tinkered with pic Simon Murphy 2006. Original photograph of nebula is used with kind permission of Philip Perkins and is copyrighted to him. www.astrocruise.com
Archived comments for ORBITAL
Romany on 23-10-2006
ORBITAL
Very suggestive picture to go with a fiery little poem Si. You've turned up the heat on this one. Love the metaphor of space for sex. Nice work,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sue,

Glad you like my naughty pic. I was awaiting permission to use it and was hoping he would say yes.

Thanks for reading and commenting on my sexy space piece!

Si:-)

scotch on 23-10-2006
ORBITAL
this is very good and very unique in my eyes... scotch

Author's Reply:
Cheers Scotch for reading and your great comment.

So pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Kat on 23-10-2006
ORBITAL
Si, an excellent poem - the presentation is great - and it sounds so good to read - I'm off for another ride!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Why thank you Kat for thinking this excellent...don't tire yourself by having to many rides!

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 23-10-2006
ORBITAL
We certainly have lift-off on a grand scale here, Si - whoosh! But how long, I wonder, can you keep this fast-paced journey going? I know, it's fun finding out - good one. (And I reckon your picture would give Patrick Moore a heart attack...I bet he never saw anything like that through his telescope!)

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Let's just hope we don't get a: 3-2-1 fizzle followed by a splutter lol.

As for Patrick Moore, I reckon he's dead already and he's being moved my animatronics. Does anyone actually have a clue what he's on about? You can't tell what he's saying!

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


orangedream on 23-10-2006
ORBITAL
All I can say Si is, "Flash bang wallop - what a picture - what a photograph..." and the poem ain't half bad either!" Beam me up, Scottie!

kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
'Captains Log, Star-date 253.5, we have just...made love and my anti-matter chamber is empty...' *best Jim Kirk voice*
Do ya wanna see my big rocket? *giggles*

Ta for reading my dear.

Si:-)

orangedream on 23-10-2006
ORBITAL
Now it's my turn to say, "WOW!" Si.

And speaking of big rockets ... returning to your amazing picture - am I correct in thinking it is the Trifid Nebula, otherwise known as M20, otherwise known as NGC 6514 and the rocket-like image in the centre, is what is commonly known as a 'stalk' made up, surprisingly of EGGs or should I say, evaporating gaseous globules? Mind you - I wouldn't like to go to work on one.

Phew! I'm exhausted now - beam me down, Scottie ... please

Cheers, Si.

Tina

Author's Reply:
I'm sorry to say my dear that its not the Trifid Nebula, it is in fact the Flame Nebula NGC 2024. There is a really bright star(Alnitak, this is the most eastern star in Orion's belt) to the right of the pic (I have cropped it) that excites the gases of the nebula and gives it the colours.

Check out the website below the poem to see some wonderful pictures, truly breathtaking.

As for the 'stalk' that's one-hundred percent Si-made!

The evaporating gaseous globules...that's the beans I had for tea...sorry 😉

Now go and relax my dear.

Si:-)


orangedream on 24-10-2006
ORBITAL
Didn't notice the website Si, sorry. Too late to look it up now but will do tomorrow. But the 'stalk' totally amazing - shame about the baked beans though.

Thanks for the info.

Tina

Author's Reply:
No worries my dear. As for the stalk...*puffs chest out*...you know...if you've got it...*swaggers*...flaunt it.

Oh...them beans...playing up again...must go.

Si:-)

Dil on 25-10-2006
ORBITAL
Very clever write.
Dil

Author's Reply:
Hi Dil,

Many thanks for reading and commenting.

Glad you liked my orbital naughtiness.

Si:-)

Thanks for the generous rate too!

Bradene on 26-10-2006
ORBITAL
Great write Si Love the picture too, love the metaphor Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Many thanks for reading.

Pleased you enjoyed it and thank you for the generous rate.

Hope you are doing okay?

Si:-)


Zoya on 26-10-2006
ORBITAL
What a fertile imagination you have, dear Eddie! It is so charmingly and cleverly done, and yes, I agree, the illustration is certainly very suggestive! ... lol!

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya,

Me fertile? Must be all that manure I keep standing in 🙂

Thank you for reading and commenting, glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

soman on 27-10-2006
ORBITAL
Hello, Val

I'm afraid this had gone way over my head at my first attempt, but after re-reading twice and going thru the comments, I was able to make some sense of it. It is definitely original in concept and way ahead of some of the pedestrian stuff we sometimes see on the site.

Forgive me if this sounds rather pedagogic (if that is the word I want!)

Soman


Author's Reply:
Hi Soman,

Glad you got some sense out of my rabbling nonsense...I didn't and I wrote it lol.

And most kind to say its original and way ahead.

As for pedagogic: something to do with tutoring (?) I think lol.

Cheers again.

Si:-)


FINAL PURCHASE (posted on: 20-10-06)
Searching for that final look? Get down to the Co-op funeral parlour.

The day was a Tuesday A sunny spring Tuesday Out was I Stopping and looking Looking and shopping Enter did I Browsing for a suit A very special suit Tried did I 'What a lovely fit sir' Assistant said to sir Buy did I Off in the sunshine To get my shoeshine Buff did I So, ready and smart am I, with just one more accessory to buy A Co-op oak with brass fittings overcoat: I'm going out in style when its time to die! SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for FINAL PURCHASE
Romany on 20-10-2006
FINAL PURCHASE
Very witty! I love the photo and caption too. Nice one Si,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sue,

Glad you liked my bit of nonsense.
Si:-)

Zoya on 21-10-2006
FINAL PURCHASE
Very witty! A lot of reflective comments there on the way people bye advertised stuff, especially the ones offering heavy discounts...
So, artfully done!
Nice cartoon there too.
Thanks for sharing.
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya,

Thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Take care.

Si:-)

scotch on 21-10-2006
FINAL PURCHASE
hello eddiesolo something like this reminds me of Spike Milligan...scotch

Author's Reply:
Hi Scotch,

Thanks mate for reading.

As for Spike Milligan, may I offer a quote by the good man: 'I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.'

Thanks again.

Si:-)

orangedream on 21-10-2006
FINAL PURCHASE
Really enjoyed this Si - smashing images as well. I always look forward to reading your stuff to see the pictures as well and as usual, you didn't disappoint me. Speaking of coffins, as you were, didn't realise what a 'racket' the whole thing was till my mother died, some 25 years ago now. Myself, I'm going green, underneath a friendly oak tree somewhere. By the way, you dialogue with Tai Li was really amusing. Enjoy the rest of the weekend, Si.

Kind regards
Tina



Author's Reply:
Hello Tina,

Thank you for reading, commenting and the rate!

Bit of nonsense really but I'm glad that it made you smile.

Si:-)

spongemonkey on 22-10-2006
FINAL PURCHASE


Like the picture eddisolo, nice poem about buying a pine overcoat. Made me smile after a long hard week at work.
Good on ye. The sponge.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sponge,

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Glad it gave you a smile.

Si:-)

Sunken on 22-10-2006
FINAL PURCHASE
Ya know, I heard recently that at cremations they don't actually burn the coffin. Apparently they get the stiff out and use the coffin again. I don't fancy being dead in a coffin that's had a corpse in it. I'm not keen on burial either as I have an aversion to worms. It's a tricky one and no mistake to be sure. I may just ask to be stuffed and mounted... jezus, that sounds so gay. I now have images of being rogered in a morgue. This is a most disturbing development and no mistake, said a spokesperson. Nice one Eddie. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

his attention to detail got left on the bus

Author's Reply:
Nothing gay about being stuffed and mounted, just use plenty of lube!

I'm not keen on dying full stop sooooooo, I'm gonna live for ever and bollocks to the Grim Reaper.

Ta for reading and leaving your words pf wisdom at my wordy gate.

Si:-)


e-griff on 22-10-2006
FINAL PURCHASE
Excellent stuff. (just catching up on posts) - but why are you talking backwards like that bloke from Star Wars?

Author's Reply:
Know not I, my young Griffy padawan, why talk backwards do I.

Ta for reading and glad that you liked it!

Si:-)



JAM-JAR (posted on: 09-10-06)
My take on the internet for readers and writers.

Imagine, an impression if you will, of a million jam-jars, swirling, never still. Each with a candle burning bright, glinting with starshine in the blackness of night. A million faces, young and old, gaze forth from siliconicile- awaiting stories untold. Tale tellers, scribblers, versifiers of written form, send out libretto moths, who flutter in electron storm. Many will make it, giving joy to a few. Others are destined to be deleted from view. Simon Murphy 2006 Siliconicile is a made up word...but you all knew that didn't you? 🙂
Archived comments for JAM-JAR
e-griff on 09-10-2006
JAM-JAR
I like 'libretto moths' (to a flame?)
I don't think 'siliconicile' works
I think the last verse is too simple and needs to match the sophistication of the others. For instance, using 'siliconicide' instead of deleted.
I thought the jam jar image was and its spin-offs (!) very effective indeed.
best JohnG

Author's Reply:
Hello there John.

Thanking you for taking the time to have a wee look.

Right, 'siliconicile' I was chuffed when I came up with that as I struggled to get something I liked in that line. I agree that it probably doesn't work as I hoped.

As for the last verse: Yeah, is a tad simple but I wanted to convey the drama of writing, posting and then...read or deleted, cherished or forgotten, simple. I do like 'siliconicide', you been nicking my made-up words? May use that if that is okay with your good self Mr G?

Ta again.

Si:-)

orangedream on 09-10-2006
JAM-JAR
I find it really difficult making up words and always envy Lewis Carroll and his marvellous Jabberwocky, 'twas brillig and the slithy toves' and all that. Somebody probably told him to go back to the drawing board - but fortunately for us he didn't.

I like 'siliconicile' as a matter of fact and the poem, by the way, Si. Cleverly written.

kind regards,
Tina 🙂



Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,
Yeah, made up words are hard to get right, especially if they are to work.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

e-griff on 09-10-2006
JAM-JAR
(for Tina as well) well, Simon it's your word! I just changed a letter. I don't mind made up words (Siliconicide is certainly not in the dictionary as far as I know) But although on pondering IMO, Siliconicile is a mix of the glass in the jar and 'domicile' a place of abode, it wasn't as immediately digestible as Carrol's words are for instance (they sound like the words they imitate). I suggested the alternative as I thought it was too good an idea to lose. 🙂 you could use 'siliconia' I guess - as in a land/concept where they all reside (or a state of mind even) best, JohnG

Author's Reply:
Hi John.

You got what I was trying to get across that glass is made, mainly from Silica and domicile the home in glass (jam-jar-the monitors).

Thanks again for your input and for thinking it was a good idea.

Si:-)

Gerry on 09-10-2006
JAM-JAR
Whatever Simon 😉 I enjoyed this little ramble.lol...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Gerry, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

beefeater on 09-10-2006
JAM-JAR
Lots of fun! and clever. I like siliconicide, but I also like 'deleted' at the end, myself - think it makes for a fast, strong impact, and it gave me a laugh.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks beefeater for reading and commenting.

I'm glad that you enjoyed reading.

Take care.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 10-10-2006
JAM-JAR
A very strong image, Si...and quite an amusing one, too. All of us out there, flickering feebly! And yes, carry on bending the language as you please: one thing is guaranteed - whatever you invent, someone else will probably have done it already! I used to think that "ginormous" was original, until I began to see it in print everywhere. Still, you may have a genuine original here, who knows? It certainly tripped off the tongue like a pint of Tim Taylor's....

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy.

Thanks for reading and yes we all flicker feebly...me more than most lol!

Funny thing making up words as John pointed out, not easy as it looks.

Ta again.

Si:-)

MiddleEarthNet on 11-10-2006
JAM-JAR
I like this poem and the fact that it is in a way describing us at UKA. The pace worked very well and the word deleted in the last verse was good because in terms of computers and te internet, files and webpages are deleted but not necessarily forgotten.

I know you said siliconicile was a made up word, but what do you intend it to mean? The line doesn't make sense.

Author's Reply:
Hi Middle, thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

I'm glad that liked my poem as for the...word.

Siliconicile is made up for: Silica as glass is 70 percent of the stuff and the word domicile. I combined the two, the jam-jars are the monitors in which we stare out of. It probably didn't work as good as I hoped but if you don't try, you never know.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

narcissa on 11-10-2006
JAM-JAR
I found this to be such a fond poem! I love your metaphor of jam jars, how wonderful!
For me the jury is still out on "siliconicile", but if you like it, keep it!
Only one nitpick from me - the commas in the first stanza. You don't need the comma after "Imagine" grammatically, and your linebreak achieves any pause that you're trying to convey, and then you need a comma after "impression" instead, I think.
That's all, really!
I very much enjoyed this.
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Hello Laura, thank you for popping in and reading.

Thanks for the input about the first stanza. I wasn't sure if I needed one after 'imagine' but thought I'd better put one in on the safe side lol.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Zoya on 12-10-2006
JAM-JAR
I just like the whole metaphor of jam jars and the moths floating out there in the magical 'siliconicile', like stars in the cosmos. The imagery gives the whole poem a magical, fantastical quality...
Thanks for sharing.
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya.

Thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

I'm so pleased that you felt this had a magical feel to it.

Si:-)

scotch on 19-10-2006
JAM-JAR
hello your nice poem reminds me of one of my favourite poets Spencer Neal, great minds think alike, i think you'd like his work on the small press poetry scene...scotch

Author's Reply:
Hi there Scotch,



Thank you for reading and commenting.



I like Spencer Neal his 'SNOWFLAKE' poem is one of my faves.



Ta again.



Si:-)



PS The poem is called SNOWFALL not SNOWFLAKE. I'm having a really bad day...

eddiesolo on 19-10-2006
JAM-JAR
Hi there Scotch,

Thank you for reading and commenting.

I like Spencer Neal his 'SNOWFLAKE' poem is one of my faves.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Oops...I got all confused in replying to scotch's comment on my piece and then for some, strange reason, I thought it was scotch's work...hence the rating of 10.

Si...silly simple minded bugger.


UNDER LOCK AND KEY (posted on: 04-09-06)
Title says it all.

Fast-paced, talking the talk. Hard-faced, walking the walk. Translucent. Ignorant. Gray hearts hammer, a rhythm of lament. Like tainted clouds, these ghosts drift by. Malformed by hopes and distorted by dreams. Disappointed eyes wail polymer beads as smiles of resin turn down with regret. Turning away from these silhouettes of misery. I feel it is safer to lock my soul, my life, away. Simon Murphy 2006.
Archived comments for UNDER LOCK AND KEY
e-griff on 04-09-2006
UNDER LOCK AND KEY
An interesting poem, very dark.

The only changes I'd suggest for your consideration are to remove the comma after 'hammer' and maybe remove the 's' from 'regrets', but that's up to you.

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 04-09-2006
UNDER LOCK AND KEY
'Fast paced' as was the first line, so was the poem. The rythmn is good with a hard-hitting feel to it. As e-griff says, very dark indeed and extremely interesting.

Kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hello Tina,

Fast paced-so was the poem, very dark indeed...you know I thought this was gloomy after I re-read it.

Never thought of it as interesting.

Ta again for reading and rating.

Si:-)

Gerry on 04-09-2006
UNDER LOCK AND KEY
A different way to get this message home Simon, Methinks you did it with some style--nice one...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Gerry, for reading and for thinking I did it with some style!
Si:-)

e-griff on 04-09-2006
UNDER LOCK AND KEY
Oops! Having read this for a second time, later (which I always do when I crit) I can see the reason for the comma after 'hammer' - it's an alternate interpretation, and obviously the one you chose originally. Forgive me.... 🙂

Author's Reply:
Nothing to forgive John, I did see how I could have not used the comma and I will remove the 's' as I do think it rounds it off and flows better.

Thanks for looking and taking the time to comment.

Glad that you found this a dark and interesting piece.

Si:-)


scotch on 05-09-2006
UNDER LOCK AND KEY
i like this one ...scotch

Author's Reply:
Cheers Scotch, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)


INNER SELF (posted on: 04-09-06)
Inner self...

Nestled 'neath Cottonwoods, listening to airy songs that carry on twinkling leaves. Tall grass smooches with a lovers embrace, as ripples on the pond grow, then diminish with age. I stare into my overflowing soul, filled with spectres of the times of yore. And reflect on what could have been. Simon Murphy 2006.
Archived comments for INNER SELF
orangedream on 04-09-2006
INNER SELF
Love the line:-

"Tall grass smooches with a lover's embrace"

Such a melancholy air to this Si. Some nice imagery too.

Enjoyed.

kind regards
Tina



Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Many thanks for sitting by the pond and contemplating my poem.

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the rate.

Si:-)

Gerry on 04-09-2006
INNER SELF
O' dear Simon, many will relate-having been there 😉
You did this rather well methinks...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

I think most have done some soul-searching at sometime or another.

Many thanks for thinking that I did it rather well.

Si:-)

reckless on 04-11-2006
INNER SELF
Very feelingly rendered piece that captures that elusive moment. Stirs up some memories, this does.

Author's Reply:
Hi Reckless,

Firstly, I must apologise for being late in responding to your comment.

Secondly, Ta very much for taking the time to read and comment, glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-) Sorry again...


SHORELINE LOVERS (posted on: 21-08-06)
Inspired by a poem that Romany wrote, that was itself, inspired by a painting of two people walking on a sunset beach.

Barefooted toes write, soft sanded, love letters. Hand in hand we sway, like chiffon spectres. Invisible zephyr, embraces our souls. Eyes that gaze, with a starlit wonder. Yearn for the physical, for bodies to express. Moist, moonlit lips, part invitingly. In a silent union, we make love, to the symphony, of the sea caressing, the shore. Picture & poem Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for SHORELINE LOVERS
Romany on 21-08-2006
SHORELINE LOVERS
You know that I like this Si; as I said, very sensual. It is quite amazing I think, the responses that the sea is capable of stirring within us. It comes from something very elemental, probably.

The ironic thing is that I have since revisited said painting. Although it did inspire me, and it is beautiful, I appear to have merged two of the artist's paintings into one in my mind! The original is of a sea-scape in beautiful shades of purple, but in my head I 'painted in' two silhouetted characters from another of his paintings! Ho hum, it did the trick anyway!

I love 'chiffon spectres' and the idea of physical love as a tribute to the ocean. Lovely work, and thanks for all your help,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

Glad that you liked this.

Congrats on your success with your poem on said painting(s).

Si:-)

Hazy on 21-08-2006
SHORELINE LOVERS
Si,

I like elements of the poem, especially 'chiffon spectres' as Romany pointed out. Last stanza was my fave.

Only thing is, I'm not keen on the pic! Know it's kinda relevant(!) but it puts me off the poem 🙁 Sorry Romany, too! Reminds me of some 'songs for lovers' album cover, perhaps from the 1970s! Oh, I feel guilty now lol. Sorry again! I'd like to have read it without seeing the pic. Imagery's far better in your poem than in the pic. Oh god, I hope it's not been painted by Romany or someone she knows! I'm always putting my foot in it like that...

Anyway, yeah I enjoyed your poem. And it brought back a few memories 😉

Hazy x

Author's Reply:
Hi Hazy,

What do you mean you don't like the pic? I slaved for at least twenty minutes doing that masterpiece!

I wanted to give a picture postcard impression, it worked, but probably as you say in a 1970s sad way...*sobs*.

Ta for reading and I'm glad that you enjoyed the poem if not the pic lol.

Si:-)

PS You should feel guilty!!




reckless on 21-08-2006
SHORELINE LOVERS
Yes, this manages to capture the moment, those little moments that are so memorable. I'm not sure about the commas at the end of the last 3 lines or so, personally I'd do without them; they slow the pace down a bit in my opinion. Romantic though, and warm hearted.

Author's Reply:
Hi Reckless,

Ta for reading and commenting.

Have a had a look at the commas, think you could be right and will amend.

Thanks again for taking the time.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 22-08-2006
SHORELINE LOVERS
Si, a very readable, gentle poem. I also thought the last stanza was my fav.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Cheers Dargo for reading.

Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Bradene on 23-08-2006
SHORELINE LOVERS
Love this romantic poem Si. Beautiful mood you created. Well done Love Val x PS how did the scan go??

Author's Reply:
Hi Val.

Many thanks for reading and rating! Glad you enjoyed my romantic stroll in the sand.

Will PM you.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 24-08-2006
SHORELINE LOVERS
Oh, very romantic! Ahhh...a holiday romance, or something more permanent? Who knows? Lovely mood creation, Si, makes me wish I was there.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Yep, a gentle walk, hand in hand in the surf on a summers eve.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Zoya on 24-08-2006
SHORELINE LOVERS
I love the sea too. You have a nice romantic poem here. Soft and tender.
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya,

Many thanks for taking the time to read my piece.

Glad you enjoyed my soft and tender piece.

Si:-)

BaBy_PoeT on 28-08-2006
SHORELINE LOVERS
really romantic Si... i think its one of those that you can see in American romantic films init...!! i don't know but thats what came to mind first.
i enjoyed it very much.
take care
xXx-B-P-xXx

Author's Reply:
Hello there young BP!

Glad you enjoyed my romantic piece. Yeah, I can see this in something like that, at the end of the film.

Thanks for reading and the rate.

Si:-)


BAKELITE BITCH (posted on: 14-08-06)
An experimental piece.

Contrived this woman with tangential tendencies. Tardy girl...lover now exposed as a sham-folly. Sat 'neath willow- a weeping in song, deliciously excruciating. Wisteria- hysteria climbing as o n e. Journeys o u r n e y. OF LOVE, FOR ME, IS FOR NOW V E R. I wait with bated-hated breath for that Bakelite bitch to melt. Picture and poem Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for BAKELITE BITCH
Gerry on 14-08-2006
BAKELITE BITCH
Well Simon, You certainly got the point over--even if your route was slightly different from the norm lol.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Yeah, I know what you mean Gerry, it is tad all over the piece.

I had the idea regarding a silicon bimbo but wanted an older version.

Don't know if it worked and I just let rip on the form.

Cheers for reading.

Si:-)


Sunken on 14-08-2006
BAKELITE BITCH
I think your experiment paid off young Eddie of the Solo persuasion. Tell me, did you wear a white coat when writing this? Very different, but still you... if that makes sense. Nice one Eddie.

s
u
n
k
e
n

fears the month of December

Author's Reply:
I find that a shame that you're afraid of December. Did Santa abuse you as a child?

As for wearing a white coat...nope, pink carpet slippers, nothing else and mouthfuls of Turkish Delight...God I sound slutty.

Very different, but still you. I guess that I could never go under an assumed name as my utter bollocks in word will be spotted.

Ta for taking the time to read and for allowing me to reply in a stupid way...but that's just the type of guy I am...so cray.

Si:-)


red-dragon on 15-08-2006
BAKELITE BITCH
Last verse - clever. Have you had any news yet? Ann

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ann for reading and commenting.

Not a lot of interest in this it seems, it is a tad different and I just wanted to try something different.

And no news yet. I have updated my journal.

Thanks.

Si:-)

orangedream on 16-08-2006
BAKELITE BITCH
Hi there Si - this is certainly 'differen't.

When I was little, blush blush, we had a cream, bakelite wireless that used to make strange noises when I tried to tune it in to the 'Light Programme' for Mrs. Dales Diary.

Not sure what that's got to do with your poem at all!

Love the 'drawing' - crazy, crazy

Tina

PS Just read your updated journal and shall be thinking of you.

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina,

Many thanks for taking the time to have a look. I don't think this is a good piece, it has good bits in it but just wanted to try a different form.

As for the drawing that is the structure of Bakelite with added bits.

Thanks again for reading, the rate and for looking at my journal.

Si:-)

Griffonner on 17-08-2006
BAKELITE BITCH
Hello Si,

This is multifaceted, isn't it? You clever old thing, you! As you knew the molecular structure, you must also have known that it is heat resisting, so you'd have a long wait for the 'bitch to melt' (but do those kinds of bitches ever melt?)

I was looking for polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride to have been hidden in the words. *cackles maniacally*

See, you've inspired so many thoughts from your brilliant piece of work, I shan't stop thinking about it all night - like a tune going round and round. Great idea, and obviously done by a genius.

Allen


Author's Reply:
Hello Allen,

Me a genius? More a mad scientist me thinks.

Yes, your spot on, my phenol formaldehyde resin lady will withstand very high temperatures, however, she does give off a pong in a hot bath lol.

I am in awe of your comment and that you think this is a good piece, much appreciate your support.

Thanks again.
Si:-)
PS Ta for the rate too!

littleditty on 19-08-2006
BAKELITE BITCH
Bakelite - i have a collection of Bakelite Si! - really - my Grandfather was involved with early products -they are beautiful objects, the first Plastics 😉 Agree with Allen - well done on this inventive write Sir Si xxxLDx

Author's Reply:
Thanking you LD for reading.

I have seen a few Bakelite pieces and they made some great things. Jewellry can cost a lot of money now.

Take care.
Si:-)

jay12 on 19-08-2006
BAKELITE BITCH
This is a very clever piece indeed! Well done with it!

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Jay for taking a look and commenting.

Thanks for thinking this is a clever piece.

Si:-)


DEFYING THE INEVITABLE (posted on: 24-07-06)
Each tear holds something precious... Big thanks to orangedream for taking the time to look this piece over.

Eyes decant ache and sorrow, each tear holding a perfect image of my love. Plummeting away, I, trying to claim them, confine them in hollow hands. But it is of no use and I fail once more, to hold onto you. Picture and poem Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
orangedream on 24-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
Well, what can I say Si? Which is more beautiful - the poem or the picture?

orangedream

Author's Reply:
Shucks, orangedream.

Thank you for reading, rating and for taking the time to help me out.

Also thanks for thinking its beautiful.

Si *grinning*

Gerry on 24-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
Yes, it is nice is this. It will stir many memories I should think 😉

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Ta Gerry, for reading and commenting.

Glad you think its nice.

Si:-)


Sunken on 24-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
Hello Mr. Ed. What are your thoughts on raisins in relationship to the worlds impending fuel crisis? I feel that great things can be achieved by simply placing two of them in a jar and waiting for a reaction. Talking of reaction - did ya see what I did there... ahem... Great little piece my friend. It put me in mind of nice things. Things I won't go into right now for fear of retribution and other things beginning with 'R'. I hope this comment finds you in positions relative to adult education and that all your apples are juicy.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he only has a limited elf life

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk.

You wanna watch them raisins, they breed like hell. They could help the fuel crisis, or, take over the world...

Ta for reading, commenting and the rate.

Si...his apples are always juicy, just ask the ladies.






Kat on 25-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
Hi Si

I like this a lot. I think you have a great knack of capturing beauty and emotion in your poems - a skill indeed!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Skilled? Me? Wow, that does sound good.

Never thought of myself as having a skill in writing, just chuck some words on a page and see what happens lol.

Thanks Kat for reading and commenting, much appreciated.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 25-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
Short, but hardly sweet...you manage much in little with this one, Si. I think we can all recognise what you're saying, too. Liked the piccie, too!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

Spot on Roy, this isn't a sweet piece.

Glad you like the piccie too.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 26-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
Si, nice to be back reading your work again. This one was well constructed and a joy to read.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Thank you Dargo for reading and commenting.

Always a pleasure to hear from you, I'm glad that you found this piece a joy.

Take care.

Si:-)

Abel on 26-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
I truly love this piece, Si. So much from so few words, which is an element of all of my favorite poetry.

Best,

Ward

Author's Reply:
Thank you Ward for taking the time to read.



Your comment means a lot and is much appreciated.



Thanks again.

Si:-)

PS Thank you for picking it as a fave!

Jolen on 28-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
Oh Si!
What a poem! You have really turned up the heat! And I'm on fire! I love it!
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
*Runs on with fire extinguisher and hoses Jolen down*

So glad that you loved my poem.

And so glad to hear from you.

Si:-)

alcarty on 30-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
Ever think about putting your thoughts and feelings into prose?

Author's Reply:
Hi Al.

Me and prose really don't mix. I am scared of it to be honest, punctuation and grammar...not my strong point. I know that practice makes you better, but, I do feel more strongly attracted to poetry.

For a moment I thought you were thinking that I should write prose as my poetry stunk!...er...your not are you lol?

Take care.
Si:-)

alcarty on 30-07-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
On the contrary, I think the poem is very strong and emotionally moving. I just find it interesting to see how people express themselves in different forms. Also interesting to view a poem as prose and vice-versa.

Author's Reply:
Hi Al,

Thank you for your kind words on my piece.

I see now where your coming from. I may give it a go at some point.

Thanks again for taking an interest.

Si:-)

littleditty on 19-08-2006
DEFYING THE INEVITABLE
HI Si - i thought this was very delicately written, so, gently very moving. How are you Si? i'm catching up on my reading
:)xxxlittleditty nx

Author's Reply:
Hello LD.

Ta very much for reading.

Thanks for the comment that you thought this moving.

As for me...still waiting for a hospital appointment.

Take care.
Si:-)





ROCKPOOL (posted on: 07-07-06)
Time washes over us and takes something away...

An old man sits, alone. The odour of toasting seaweed, wafted on summer breeze to nostrils, that have savoured a million aromas. The long green strands, laid on the ancient scalp of the shore, reminiscent of his thinning hair line. He returns his aging sight to the pool, each grain of sand a love, a laugh, a memory. Topped to almost overflowing, with the tears of years long gone. Rising he walks, slower as he stoops, old bones groaning, old lungs blowing. Turning he watches the ocean roll in, covering his mind with a watery fog. The surge will ebb, returning his thoughts, but now the recall of sand will be less, leaving his rockpool filled with fresh tears. Picture & poem Simon Murphy 2006. Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape
Archived comments for ROCKPOOL
orangedream on 07-07-2006
ROCKPOOL
Hi there Si - quite blown away by this one! Fabulous picture too. Savoured every line. Beautful imagery i.e.:-

'The long green strands
laid on the ancient scalp of the shore..'

Thank you for a delightful poem.

:-)orangedream

Author's Reply:
Hi Orangedream,

Thank you so much for reading.

So glad that it blew you away!

Si:-)

Thanks for the rate too.

Gerry on 07-07-2006
ROCKPOOL
Simon, are you trying for 'poet laureate' ?
This was an excellent poem, thoroughly enjoyed by this reader.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

I think I need a lot more practise...another two lifetimes lol.

Thanks for reading and I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)


Sunken on 08-07-2006
ROCKPOOL
Well done on the nib young Eddie of Solo fame. Long may your ink flow. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

notable late for detention

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

Most kind for reading, commenting and for the rate too!

My ink flows that fast that I need blotting paper, pity you can't read what I've done afterwards.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


discopants on 10-07-2006
ROCKPOOL
I like the image and the atmosphere you've created here. I can quite happily sit on a rock and watch the ebb and flow of the tides for ages; it tends to clear my mind out a bit!

Author's Reply:
Hi Discopants,

Thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

I must admit that there is something soothing about just listening to the sea.

Si:-)

Dazza on 10-07-2006
ROCKPOOL
The brine has two sources in this one which is great. Did you know that tears and saltwater have equal levels of sodium but a tear is more corrosive by two to one? Cry me a river. Good poem, Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Cheers mate for reading, hasn't it been slow for comments?

I thought my work was suddenly going all megacrap...well it could be for all I know.

Anyway, that's not the point.

Thanks again and for letting me know about tears, I didn't know that.

You see, this site is educational as well!!

Si:-)

niece on 11-07-2006
ROCKPOOL
A fabulous word picture, Si...loved the image of the sea and old age...
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece,

Ta very much for dipping into my rockpool.

Glad you enjoyed the read.

Si:-)

Jolen on 19-07-2006
ROCKPOOL
Damn Si!

This is excellent work and talk about kickin' ass and takin' names! You are doing it! Great work and I am thirllled to see it nibbed! Congrats!
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen, you naughty thing you...

Thanking you so much for reading and commenting.

So glad that you liked it...you can dip ya toes in my rockpool anytime!

Si:-)



AD AMORE UNA ROSA (posted on: 03-07-06)
TO LOVE A ROSE...

Bugle heralds my dew morn, his spreading as sun rises, reminds me of Creeping-Jenny. A whore. A whore of the Earth sidling, slithering, she surrounds, suffocating all with tendrils Tendrils of death. She killed my Julia Child, My butter-nut treasure of the wild, liquorice scent, sweet in the breeze. Breeze, gentle as our lovemaking. Kisses so soft on sensual, silken petals, enticing buds yearning to be touched, stamens aroused in loves floral dance. Dance to the sounds of nature. Although she is gone I can never forget what it was like to love a rose. SIMON MURPHY 2006.
Archived comments for AD AMORE UNA ROSA
RoyBateman on 06-07-2006
AD AMORE UNA ROSA
You've gone all floral and exotic lately, haven't you? Very sensuous, with all sorts of possible layers of meaning. I reckon you could go on reworking this till eternity and still never settle on the definitive rewrite...it's probably better as it is, as an intriguing fragment - then we can all read what we want into it. Good writing, mate!

Author's Reply:
Thanks Roy for stopping and reading.

Your probably right about re-working it, I could go on for ever.

Will put Romany's edit version up though as I feel she has sorted out some of it.

Ta again.
Si:-)

Jolen on 19-07-2006
AD AMORE UNA ROSA
Holy shit! Si!!!!! Omg! this is wonderful! POETRY BABY!!! I cannot believe it's not nibbed. Damn! I got all warm and flushed and I sorta like it. Really fine work, really fine.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Wow girl!!

You'll get me all excited telling me ya getting all warm and flushed.

Thanking you from the bottom of my stem...sounds a tad rude that lol.

Si:-)


A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE (posted on: 23-06-06)
Can anybody hear me?

Do stars twinkle with a lost age, when clouds athwart the darkness? Does a comet ask for recognition, as it streams from murk to glow? Do planets parley, titter and snide, as they play 'I'm better than you'? Does a black-hole madman regret, its substance humiliating pursue? Do I really matter in the grand idea, lonely individual in vacuum noise? Crying out to be heard, above the din of space. I am unheard, in a universe of silence. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------- Slightly tweaked version. Do stars twinkle with a lost age, when clouds athwart the darkness? Does a comet ask for recognition, as it streams from murk to glow? Do planets parley, titter and snide, as they play 'I'm better than you'? Does a black-hole madman regret, its substance-humiliating pursue? Do I really matter in the grand idea, lonely individual in vacuum noise? I am unheard, in a universe of silence. Poem & picture Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
orangedream on 23-06-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
Really do like this piece - totally 'out of this world'. Great pics too!

Ty orangedream

Author's Reply:
Hello again Orangedream.

Was sure that you had commented on this...lol.

I'm glad that you liked it and many thanks for the rate too!

Si:-)

Zoya on 23-06-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
This, Solo is a very thought provoking, beautifully written, well
thought up and well executed piece of work. I am impressed.
We all have this problem of feeling unheard, unrecognized, unlooked
at, overlooked etc. It is how we express this s feeling which
matters...I must say your have done a good job of it, a very good job...my own
" Words of Fire..." pale in front of it...
**Hugs**
Love, xxx, Zoya



Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya,

Ta for re-commenting on this.

I still think that your piece 'words of fire' is far better than this.

Take care

Si:-)

Sunken on 24-06-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
Hello young Eddie. Isn't it austere today? Did you know that the government have introduced a crack levy? I have just been charged £3.50 for stepping on said pavement cracks whilst enjoying an afternoon stroll around the asylum. Bastards. Anyway, none of this is important right now. Well done on another fine piece. It put me in mind of a girl I once knew who would do anything for a Twix (two fingers mind). I hope this helps. All of my deep love and wayward smiles.

s
u
n
k
e
n

no, no! not the candle sticks!

Author's Reply:
I suffer from a large crack so would be paying a bleeding fortune!


I accept your love and smiles.
Oh, can you send that girl around who will do anything for a twix (double finger...shivers).

Cheers Sunk glad you like it!

Si:-)



Jolen on 26-06-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
Si! This is really interesting and I loved the ending!!!! Go on with your poetic self!!! by the way, thanks for the great comment on 'a momentary sin' and choosing it for faves before it was deleted in the recent problem. It's back up now, if you still want it. I hope this finds you well.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hello, Joyous...Jo...Jolen!



Ta very much for reading my dear.



I have redone my comment on yours and made it a fave again!



And I'm glad that you found it interesting...but that's what you get from me, cos I'm interesting, or just insane.



Si:-)




Dazza on 26-06-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
This is Deja vv, a good pang 'cos I read this before and let me reiterate, it's a good one, vast and shrift, Dazza.

Author's Reply:

Cheers mate for popping back and commenting.

Glad you enjoyed my vast and shrift piece.

Si:-)

PS Ta for the rate too!

karenuk on 01-07-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
Clever, thought-provoking and original.

Author's Reply:
Hi Karenuk,

Many thanks for reading and commenting.

Glad you thought it original.

Si:-)

scotch on 01-07-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
likeable...scotch reposting

Author's Reply:
Hi Scotch,

Thanks for reading my likeable piece.

Si:-)

e-griff on 04-07-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
Is it just me, Si, or is there a typo in:
'its substance humiliating pursue' ?

The only suggestions I would have for improvement is to clarify and maybe shorten the end - and there's a conflict between 'din of space' and 'silence' I can't really resolve. At the moment I think it's laid on a wee bit heavy (the end) - maybe make it a small jewel for us to understand after a beat, not 'full-face' and it might be even more effective, IMO

Enjoyed it very much, man! 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Ta very much for looking.

I can't see a typo in 'its substance humiliating pursue' if it comes to you let me know.

I have had a look and think if I took out:

'Crying out to be heard,
above the din of space.'

It would read better, these lines are a tad superfluous as they do say what the previous line told us.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

e-griff on 04-07-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
well (you nearly caught me out with 'athwart', you bugger!)

Does a black-hole madman regret,
its substance humiliating pursue?

well, Si this simply doesn't make sense grammatically, so let's delve into poetic licence *thinks really hard*

OK did you mean to relate the adjective 'humiliating' to 'substance' and use a poetic turn to say the madman might regret pursuing its substance which was humiliating? - in which case, I would put commas either side of 'humiliating' which I think would make that clear. If the pursuit was humiliating, I'd put 'humiliating in brackets ' If it's not that, I have no idea... 🙂 G

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Yeah, I liked athwart thought it went really well.

I think it should really be 'humiliating'...I think.

The idea behind the line is does the black-hole actually regret swallowing stars (substance). Of course it is in reference to people sucking ideas...sort of thing.

Am I making any bleeding sense?

I'm all confused now.

Ta again John.

Si:-)

e-griff on 05-07-2006
A UNIVERSE OF SILENCE
OK, last shot - if the black hole is humiliating the substance by pursuing it, would
'its substance-humiliating pursuit?'

or if the black hole feels humilated by the fact he's doing it...
'its humiliating substance pusuit' - mind you that sounds like he's a druggy, dun it? (as substance abiuse)

I give up! 🙂 JohnG

Author's Reply:
Thanks John for trying to figure it out.

I am inclined to go with, now I think about it: 'its substance-humiliating pursuit?'

Going to take out some lines and add the hyphen to a separate piece under the main one.

Ta again.

Si:-)


T.W.A.T (posted on: 22-05-06)
Sorry about the title but read on....

What is T.W.A.T? Well, T.W.A.T put simply is:- The Writers Artistic Talent A string of words that define moments or feelings. Allow me to explain. Below is a poem by me, the wording used in the poem coincides with an artist of the brush and as a comparison, works wellnot a piss artist by the way, although pretty pictures can be made in the snow, although mine always come out as yellow splodges. But, is that not an expression of the inner feelings? I digress, sorry. FINGER PAINTING As white as driven snow, blank canvas awaits me Indulgently it sits for a verb here and a noun there Finger like a palette knife, I define a string of expression A smudge of funniness and a courageous splash of pain Hues of storytelling emerge, stratum by stratum With a smile I end and gaze at my work of art I shall sign with a flourish and now hang for all to see Simon Murphy 2004 As we can see in many works of art the labels of expression are the same. The painter shows us depth of character of him or herself by the mood of the painting. The colours, light with a flick of the wrist to highlight a rose or shaft of sunlight from heavenmaybe the artist got lucky and got laid, so, a tender, gentle side emerged. The rough, deep brush strokes, plowing and pounding the canvas could portray a level of depression or anger; or again could show that he or she had just been laid. Same with a writer, the only difference is that an artist of the word normally has only two colours in his or her palette, black and white. Although what the artist brings with just these two colours is just as vivid as any painting. So to round this off the writer starts with just the same blank canvas and with his or her T.W.A.T makes a masterpiece. Thank you for reading. Remember keep using your T.W.A.T or you may dry up. Simon Murphy Professor in utter bollocksI thank you and goodnight. PROSE & PICTURE SIMON MURPHY 2006.
Archived comments for T.W.A.T


Romany on 23-05-2006
T.W.A.T
Very different for you Si! Serious thoughts behind a very light hearted style.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

Yeah, serious but not.

Just a laugh really.

Ta for looking.

Si:-)

Claire on 25-05-2006
T.W.A.T
Hey there Si,

Love the title!

Love this line: Remember keeping using your T.W.A.T or you may dry up.

Excellent piece, it sure has made my morning.

Author's Reply:
Hi Claire,

Thanks for reading my bit of silliness.

Glad it cheered you up.

Ta for the rate too.

Si:-)

Jolen on 27-05-2006
T.W.A.T
Si! You know that I loved this and I am a firm believer in using my twat to the fullest.... lol What a lunatic you are and I love it!!!! Way to go!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Ta Jolen,

I'm so glad that you use your t.w.a.t, make sure you use it responsibly.

Glad you liked my nonsense.

Si:-)


DANCING WITH DOLLS (posted on: 22-05-06)
She shuffles and mumbles...mental illness is so haunting. The top piece is the original, the lower I have re-done.

Clutching her tightly to gowned bosom, choreographed mangle of jitters and jive Her porcelain features, hidden by tresses, that safely keep the world away Somnolent she sways as she listens to words, from unmoving, red-painted lips Finally, unhurriedly she turns and I gaze into lifeless, unblinking dolls eyes ********************************** Clutching nothing, tight to gowned bosom, a choreographed mangle of jitters and jive. Her porcelain features, hidden by tresses, that barely show that she is alive. Somnolent sways, listening to dialogue, from static, red-painted lips. Inside herself rhythms and melodies, as she moves robotic, slender hips. Finally and unhurriedly, she comes to a halt, Feeble minded folk who gawp and grin. Mocking, flocking they swarm for the fun, A damaged angel, a broken mind her sin. POEM & PICTURE SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for DANCING WITH DOLLS


Andrea on 22-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Eddie dearest, luv ya to bits, you know that, but can you please not put images in the short description box? It makes the 'Latest 100' page even slower to load than normal - and that's slow enough! Ta.

Great poem, though 🙂

Author's Reply:
Sorry Andrea...



I don't normally, just in the main text box. Not a clue as to why I did it lol.



Will amend.



Ta.



Si:-)

Andrea, have PM you but if you see this, the URL's for my pics are in the main story box and not in the short description box. Will remove if it helps, don't know what happened there.

Glad you liked the poem:-)

Andrea on 22-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Hahaha, *I* changed it, Si :-). 'Course you don't have to remove, it's fine now...

Author's Reply:
Phew...glad I don't have to remove them.

Ta very much for sorting it out Andrea, your a love.

Si:-)

Gerry on 22-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Simon, nice one--I have a little experience in this field--you captured it well...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry.

Thank you for reading.

The inspiration for this comes from a young, very pretty woman in my home town who does act like this. She does suffer from mental health problems and of course is viewed with suspicion and as a nut to be laughed at.

I wanted to show that she isn't.

I'm glad you thought I captured this well.

Si:-)



Claire on 22-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
When I first read the title I thought about that film with the Chucky doll in it, Child's Play I think it's called...

Anyway, the piece is deffo not what I thought it would be about. You've captured an excellent angle here, not many will see those with mental problems this way, but your poem sure does help.

Author's Reply:
Hi Claire,

Thanks for stopping by and having a look.

I'm glad that you think I have captured the problem.

Si:-)

Sunken on 23-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Nice one young eddie of solo fame. Dolls are one of the scariest toys around. I think it's their eyes, they're very spooky. Toy guns seem to make a lot more sense. I hope this helps. Good to see you back.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he is in charge of staples

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

Ta for having a gander and commenting.

Yep, dolls and clowns...very scary.

I'll see you later for a game of Japs and commandos...*ratty tatty tat...shoots sunk*

Si:-)

Romany on 23-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Very sinister picture. I prefer the second version that you reworked, and I think you use some powerful language here. Sad and evocative, and obviously written with compassion and a measure of understanding.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

Many thanks for taking a look and commenting.

I liked the second version because, as you pointed out, it gives a better sense of the problem.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 23-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Very moving - I reckon that the second version hits home harder...just that little bit at the end clarifies the situation for us. Obviously a sad situation, handled with care and feeling.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Ta mate for reading.

I'm glad that you feel I have wrote this with care.

What's really sad is not the person with the illness but the morons who laugh and joke. To me it is them who have a mental problem.

Si:-)



Si:-)

Dargo77 on 24-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Si, well done on a very moving piece.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Thanks Dargo,

Glad that you found it moving.

Thank you for the rate too.

Take care.
Si:-)

woodbine on 25-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Hi Simon,
I like the original best because it doesn't follow convention. It might have a more playful disjointed layout to compliment the words and visuals.


Clutching her tightly to gowned
bosom,
choreographed mangle
of jitters and jive

Her porcelain features,

hidden b y
tresses,
that safely
keep the
world
away


Somnolent
she sways

as she listens to words,

from unmoving, red-painted lips

Finally, unhurriedly she turns…
and I gaze into

lifeless,

unblinking
dolls eyes

but then again I might be having one of those senior moments.
You are the best judge of what you intended. A poem that sets you thinking.


John


Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Thank you for taking the time have a read and comment.

I like the way you staggered the poem to make it more visual and not just to read.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Jolen on 26-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Wow Si! Look at you all poetic like! This is a very intriquing poem. Wonderful work!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi my jolly Jolen!

How are you, hope you are okay and happy?

Ta for taking the time to have a look and leave a comment.

Glad you like it.

Si:-)

teifii on 28-05-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
I like the second version definitely. I did not actually get that the first was about mental illness but the second struck home.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Ta daff,

Nearly forgot you...so sorry.

Many ta's for looking and commenting.

Si:-)


Kat on 05-10-2006
DANCING WITH DOLLS
Hi Si

I'd be very happy to post the second version of your poem on my website (as you kindly offered). Although I see there have been suggestions for edits etc and Woodbine has also done an appealing lay out of your first version. Do you want to fiddle any further or should I go ahead with the 2nd one? You ARE the poet! ;o) And I await your executive decision.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:


ICE (posted on: 27-03-06)
POLE AXED

A frigid loathing of absolute zero pierces my soul in stasis

Engulfed and smothered by avalanche of pain and torment

Clinging to last hope glacier, I slip and slide into the abyss

Towering burg, chipped away...tumblers of sour 'n' rocks 

Your growlers nip at my heels and bay for chilled blood

Even with spring thaw you chase me with icicle daggers

And although I ski jump and slalom away

 ICannotEscape

POEM AND PICTURE SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for ICE


Dazza on 27-03-2006
ICE
This visual stuff of yours is great. Words and images are a full on mix of mediums and you make it happen. Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Hi Dazza,

Thanks very much for the supportive comment, I really appreciate it.

So pleased that you enjoyed this.

Si:-)

Thanks for the rate too.

RoyBateman on 27-03-2006
ICE
Sounds like a total nightmare, Si - nicely interwoven images here, especially the drink ones slipped in! Very visual, as Dazza says - a refreshing icy blast?

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Most kind for dropping by and commenting.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

teifii on 30-03-2006
ICE
Quite turned me cold. Very cleverly wrought. I like
Your growlers nip at my heels and bay for chilled blood -- although prefer to experience them vicariously.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Glad that found a line you like and you enjoyed it.

Si:-)


Sunken on 30-03-2006
ICE
Nice one Mr. Ed. This put me in mind of a fridge freezer I have that has a design fault in that it overheats! Wtf use is that? Consider rust and how it relates to Austin of Allegro fame (but only if you have the time)

s
u
n
k
e
n

music none stop

Author's Reply:
Hello Mr Sunk.

Me and some mates used to drive around in my mates gold Allegro...it was so f***ked.

The floor was rusted through and we lost so many lighters, fags, money, girlfriends.

When you started the thing the front headlamps used to judder so bad that we would dazzle low flying aircraft...in short it was a clown car.

As for your fridge I would say...tis knackered, move on my friend.

Ta for stopping by and leaving your words of wisdom.

Si:-)

Gerry on 30-03-2006
ICE
Good one Simon...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Many thanks mate for stopping by and reading.

Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Jolen on 01-04-2006
ICE
Si:
A very creative and interesting piece.. Chilling imagery.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hello Jolen,

Most kind my dear for stopping by and having a look.

'A very creative and interesting piece..' Sounds just like me!

It is a tad chilling...put the fire on and have nip of something warming.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Poet on 03-04-2006
ICE
Hello Eddie...

O' I appreciate the chill wrought here in the reader. This one's for bluster and apprehension it is. It makes me have a paranoid feeling of swords of Damocles above my noggin.

Cheers and stay warm!

Poet


Author's Reply:
Hi Poet,

Many thanks for having a look and commenting.

Yeah, I can see the Swords of Damocles in this.

I'll stay warm but will be looking above my head...

Si:-)


SODIUM SCULPTURE (posted on: 20-03-06)
Many thanks to Romany and Sunken for support on this.

Far away siren heralds the midnight hour Public-house bedlam dies, as revellers amble home; arm in arm, wobbling step by step Taxis from heaven, for weary girls, in lethal shoes Showing too much cleavage and thigh Drivers who smirk at giggling sex talk, while meters tickticktick away They to and fro, ferrying the drunk and the bruised, the horny and the lonely Past fast-food joints oozing pizza and kebabs Town-hall bells echo like some urban alarm Yet only one man hears those chimes, that mean nothing Like cellophane groans and cheap love on a Saturday night A sodium sculpture, in his doorway sitsforgotten, discarded POEM AND PICTURE SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for SODIUM SCULPTURE
Romany on 20-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
I like the 'cellohane' line; all in all a very sordid and sadly realistic image of a weekend night up and down the country.The homeless and helpless undoubtedly see a lot of it; I should imagine they try to stay safely out of the way at chucking out time (not that there is one as such, anymore!) I always worry about the young girls who don't get into taxis; when I look back at some of the things I did re:getting home, I thank my lucky stars that I'm still here in one piece! Gullible or stupid, or just young? All three probably!
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

Thank you for your help on this piece, much appreciated it. I did use some of your ideas if that was okay?

I'm still gullible, stupid and young...only 12 me lol.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 20-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
Interesting poem, Si - a change from your usual style. Well done on your nib. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Yeah it is a bit different, I got the idea while coming home late on Saturday night. I saw the pubs chucking out and it just came to me.

I got some great help from Romany and Sunken as I struggled on the last stanza.

Glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Sunken on 20-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
Aww, the man is far too modest. All I did was chuck in a few words that I'd picked up off the car-park outside Asda. Well done young Eddie of Solo fame... it's no good, your name still makes me think of wanking. I blame the following - shredded wheat, soap on a rope and detox. I hope this in-depth critique finds you in the lounging position. Take care and a new romantic from the early 1980's (just in case). Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he makes do with celery cause he can't afford Intel

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

Wish my Asda was like that, full of retards who are not disabled in the disabled parking and some dodgy bloke keeps staring at me...sorry my wife has just informed me that its my reflection. I don't believe her and feel I'm being stalked.

Shall I change my name, would that help? If your thinking of wanking then its only a short hop-skip and a tug from getting yourself in all kinds of trouble. I like shredded wheat as for soap on a rope I remember getting them as a kid for Xmas, tasted like shite though. Detox, I'd blame that too, sounds like it would get you into trouble then laugh at you in its smug 'I'm cleaned out and healthy' way.

As for taking a new romantic...I suppose I could use him as a human shield the next time I see my stalker friend...you never know he could be a right weirdo.

Try broccoli it does run faster than celery!

Si:-)

teifii on 22-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
This rings all too true. I don't think towns can be good for us, although I hope there are some good goings on in the midst of all that is so sordid. Good picture though.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff,

I think like anything, moderation is the key. Too much and the place goes to crap, good and crap the guy in the doorway will still be there.

Glad you liked the pic.

Si:-)

Leila on 23-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
Nicely worked...pulled it all together well in the last few lines...L

Author's Reply:
Hi Leila,

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

Glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 23-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
Si, well written poem. Well done on the nib.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo,

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment and the rate too!

Happy that you enjoyed this.

Si:-)

Gerry on 23-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
Simon, I think you nailed this one--with some style...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Gerry,

I'm happy you thought this had style...

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Jolen on 25-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
Oh Si,
this is a wonderful poem. Nice to see you branch out and this is very well done. A worthy nib dear Si.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

I'm pleased that you think this is wonderful...ta very much. I stayed up much too late working on this and just couldn't get it right. Sunk and Romany helped me to whittle down some sentences.

So your still rancid with flu? Are you sure you should be logging on and spreading your germs everywhere? *sneezes* You have given it to me now!

I'll have to go and lay down, oh...I feel ill *coughs*got man flu *splutters*be lucky if I see a new morn...farewell dear Jolen *coughs again*think well of me when I'm gone...

Si:-)

littleditty on 27-03-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
This style suits you Sir - a good description of the way it is - like the sounding of words you've got going on esp. in first two and...*takes breath* THE FIRST STANZA IS TOPS! Well done Si:-) xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

Why thank you for reading. I'm so pleased you like this...TOPS!

Si:-)

Poet on 03-04-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
A stark and gritty feel to it Eddie. I liked the honest portrait it paints.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Poet for stopping by reading and commenting.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)


scotch on 03-05-2006
SODIUM SCULPTURE
hi eddiesolo... sounds like me in Blackpool ,lovely work chuck...from scotch

Author's Reply:
Hi Scotch,

Thanks very much for reading and leaving a comment.

Very pleased that you enjoyed it.

Take care now in Blackpool...Si:-)



FROSTED YELLOW ROSE (posted on: 20-03-06)
Visual poetry. Picture by Jo Murphy (eddiesolo's missus), haiku by Romany.

SIMON MURPHY/JO MURPHY/SUE OLDHAM 2006
Archived comments for FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
Jen_Christabel on 20-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
This is quite lovely :o)
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jennifer,

I agree it is very lovely.

Si:-)

Romany on 20-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
I think so too Jen - and no, I'm not biased. Well done Mrs. Murphy, and thank you!
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

This worked really well! Well done to both you and Jo...I had the easy part just put the two together.

Si:-)

admin on 20-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
Awww, that's beautiful, Si 🙂

Author's Reply:
Thanks admin, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Bradene on 20-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
Lovely Si Well done to all three of you. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Thank you for reading and glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

HelenRussell on 20-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
Absolutely stunning!
Sarah

Author's Reply:
Hi Sarah,

Many thanks for reading and commenting, so pleased that you enjoyed this piece.

The poem by Romany just sets off the picture.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 21-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
Something very different - visually striking, and a highly appropriate verse too...collaborations don't often work as well as this!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Thanks for taking a look, happy that you liked it and thought it worked.

Si:-)

Kat on 21-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
Great work to you all - well done!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat,

Thanking you and I'll pass it on!

Glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 22-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
A trinity of talent!! Ann

Author's Reply:
Why thank you Ann!

All I did was put the text on the pic, tis the girls who have the talent...see as a bloke I was useful for something!

Si:-)

Claire on 22-03-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
Tis lovely hun, would have made an excellent piece for GD calendar...

Author's Reply:
It would Claire, it would look great.

Ta for thinking its lovely.

Si:-)

Poet on 03-04-2006
FROSTED YELLOW ROSE
Kudos to Jo and also Romany for the verse. Nice team there I think!

Author's Reply:
Hi poet,

It worked really well!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


WISP OF SMOKE (posted on: 17-03-06)
Another broken heart piece from me I'm afraid...sorry.

Cottage snuggled in blossom hideaway Fervour kindled like the log fire blaze Lovemaking to the oeuvre of brook- babbling, sweetly, softly Below moonlit sky we sleep, nestled in the company of stars Yet this paradise in flora ended Too much perfection in imperfection We drifted apart like seeds on the wind Path, dusty, like the memories of us Guided by dry stone walling, grey like my heart Taking the long walk of the lonely Turning back I watch the wisp of smoke, that drew me to you SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for WISP OF SMOKE
Romany on 17-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Full of sadness and regret for a love lost. Not sure about 'Ouevre' but that's just my ignorance (I thought it meant egg?!) Love the following:

We drifted apart like seeds on the wind
Path, dusty, like the memories of us
Guided by dry stone walling,
grey like my heart

Beautiful words.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

Thanking you for stopping by and having a look!

Oeuvre means composition, just me trying to be clever lol.

I'm so glad that you liked it.

Si:-)


Bradene on 17-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
how Sad Si. lovely to read though, Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

It is sad, but I'm pleased you thought it a lovely read.

Si:-)

Kat on 17-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
An effective metaphor and a very accomplished poem, Si. Love those last 2 lines.

All the best.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat,

Wow, thank you for thinking this an accomplished poem.

I like the last two lines also, a last look...regrets that maybe they should have worked harder, who knows!

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

ruadh on 17-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Some great lines in this, enjoyed it.

ailsa

Author's Reply:
Hi Ailsa,

Much appreciate you popping in and having a read.

So glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Sunken on 18-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Never apologise for broken hearted pieces young Eddie of Solo fame. A great write my friend that put me in mind of a stain-glass window. Why? I dunno, it's early, I'm tired and I haven't had my cornflakes yet. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

his right eye is remotely controlled via satellite

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

I like your reference to the stain-glass window, it does fit with the piece. Don't ask me why but I can see it also...haven't had my cornflakes either lol.

I hope your right eye is the only thing that is remotely operated...

Si:-)


red-dragon on 18-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Si - a tender piece of writing, but not sad...more - reflective, I think. The last two lines draw it to a good conclusion. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Bless you for reading. I like the reflective essence rather than sad, maybe things could have been different.

Si:-)

Jen_Christabel on 18-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Beautfully done Si :o)
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer,

Thank you for reading and for thinking this is beautifully done, much appreciated.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 18-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Si, a great piece of poetry.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo,

Many thanks for commenting, I'm so pleased that you enjoyed my work.

Si:-)

Thank you also for the generous rate and the nom, if that was you.


Emerald on 18-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Hi Si,

very beautiful - such a sad nostalgic look at another time in our lives.

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Emma,

Thank you very much for taking the time have a look and comment.

Glad you think its beautiful!

Si:-)

teifii on 18-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Lovely. A real sense of place. The stone walls could be round here, but of course equally at home in Yorkshire.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff,

Thanking you for reading and commenting.

So pleased that you enjoyed my sad piece.

Si:-)

Jolen on 18-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
I told you before that I loved this and I do. Sad, yes, but very moving and well written.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

Sorry to hear that you have been full of flu, hope you're feeling a lot better now.

Many thanks to you for looking at my sad piece and for thinking it is well written.

Ta,

Si:-)

Gerry on 19-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
Simon, well done with this--it reads well...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

So glad that you enjoyed it and it reads well.

Si:-)

littleditty on 23-03-2006
WISP OF SMOKE
nostalgic, romantic and loss well felt and the end - very well penned Si:-) xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi there LD *waves*

Ta for having a look and commenting.

Glad you enjoyed my penmanship *winks*

Si:-)


RAZOR FEARS (posted on: 10-03-06)
Childhood memory...

Observing, studying as Badger hair brush lathers Hand so big, move with grace on bristle rich chin Plough of steel cuts through snow covered cheeks Rinsing and gliding Gliding and rinsing Slicing and wincing Horror filled eyes gape at nicked crimson neck The anguish and the pain felt by boy and by man 'One day my son, this will be you,' says my dad 'Don't worryabout the cuts about the blood.' He seats squares of loo roll on oozing red specks He ruffles my hair and heads out of the bathroom Standing in steamy terror, I wish hard not to grow I watch my face staring back through misty mirror Realising I had wandered into a time long, long ago As scarlet starts to mingle into the white of the foam Grinning, I wonder why I never got an electric shaver SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for RAZOR FEARS
Romany on 10-03-2006
RAZOR FEARS
Love the line:

Plough of steel cuts through snow covered cheeks

Steamy little insight into a man's world - nice one Dazza!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

Ta for looking and commenting.

Love Dazza...heh heh...IT'S ME SI!!

Romany on 10-03-2006
RAZOR FEARS
I mean Eddie!! My humble apologies - it is early in the morning - that's my excuse!(Blushes.)

Author's Reply:
Let ya off this once...

Jen_Christabel on 11-03-2006
RAZOR FEARS
My dad has always had a beard but, I do recall our daughter watching intently as my husband shaved one day - she was fascinated!
Good read
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jen,

Thanking you for having a look and commenting.

I still hate shaving now! Scares the hell out of me and I get a nasty rash...is that shaving or sex? It could be both, never mind.

Ta again.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 11-03-2006
RAZOR FEARS
Snick, snick.....ouch, prick....knife flick....box..tick!!

Nice one M'sieur.....

Author's Reply:
Hi Drago-Rosso...you impressed then OR WHAT!

Ta for taking a look and for commenting.

M'sieur, Si 🙂



CRASH COURSE...IN SEX (posted on: 10-03-06)
Young lad, fast woman...thinks he knows it all.

Eyes do wander from

Stocking clad legs to

Naked peach of passion

Engine growls, climbing revs

Hands do wander from

Shoulders so slender to

Perfect peach of passion

I climb into her, accelerating

Hands still wander from

The small of her back to

Breasts, supple under touch

'Faster!' She screams, taunting

Hands a trembling

Eyes a rolling

I corner too soonI brake too late!

No recovery, a fatal accident ensues

Airbag deployed

She snorts, annoyed

I lay quivering

To much woman and too little experience

I shall stick to the Exchange and Mart in future

SIMON MURPHY 2006


Archived comments for CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
Romany on 10-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
Nice metaphor for a bit of slap and tickle! He'll learn bless him - nice one again eddie!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
The thing is Romany...will he ever learn.

Ta for the comment.

Si:-)

teifii on 10-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
I'm sure it's pretty accurate although I'm no expert. Clever metaphor. Loved the ending.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff,

As a bloke I can sympathise with what the poor fellow went through, it has never happened to me though...I'm a careful driver 😉

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 10-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
Well, there you go - getting astride something you couldn't handle! You obviously need more practice, young man, or you'll just keep coming off. Try the Highway Code...or possibly the Highway Karma Sutra might be more beneficial....

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

You're so right, too much power between my legs...do you know where I can get a copy of the Highway Karma Sutra? Sounds like an interesting read.

Si:-)

Gerry on 10-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
Simon, curves always cause me probs too 😉

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Especially if there wet, causes all kinds of problems.

Thanks for reading and commenting.
Si:-)

Dargo77 on 10-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
Si, enjoyed your poem. It might however, be better to obey the 'no entry' signs. Good ending.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo,

I thought it said 'stop and give way'. LOL.

Thank you for reading my bit of nonsense really.

Si:-)
Si:-)


Jen_Christabel on 11-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
A big smiley face from me for this one :o)
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer,

So glad it brought a smile to your face.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Sunken on 11-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
One of your best, young Eddie of Solo fame. Why does your name always make me think of wanking? Ahem, no offense. God, I really can't get the hang of this commenting. Top piece - the poem I mean. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

down in the park with a tube of glue

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunk,

Why does my name always make you think of wanking? That is a tricky one, but I will say this...if my name brings you a modicum of happiness due to wanting to masturbate, and I see no shame in mentioning that here; then that's all that matters. I hope this helps.

Si:-)

PS Stay off that glue young man, if you want to sniff something...try womens nickers or failing that your socks...I was going to say its healthier but I doubt it.


red-dragon on 11-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
Oh, I remenber those dreadful driving techniques - the emergency stop was always poorly executed and they never knew their way around a three point turn. The reverse was non existant, but, oh boy, the acceleration was second to none......whew...blew me away!!

Author's Reply:
Hello Red-dragon,

You like the speed, eh?

I've only got two speeds myself...fast and bloody fast, or is that slow and dead stop?

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Bradene on 14-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
Si Enjoyed this great piece of fun writing. also enjoyed some of the ensuing remarks. ((-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Glad you enjoyed my silly piece.

And I agree, there have been some great comments!

Thank you for reading and for the generous rate.

Si:-)

littleditty on 14-03-2006
CRASH COURSE...IN SEX
Nicely done fun poem Si, not sure if i am appreciating the last line as i should though - are you saying its perhaps better to only look...and er...Ah! 😮 *blushes and runs away* -------------------------------> 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

Glad that you enjoyed my fun poem. No much more fun to participate...but in this case...RUN LD and don't look back.

Si:-)


DR WHO-FACETS (posted on: 03-03-06)
This is a script for an episode of Dr Who that me, Simon Murphy and Steve Johnson wrote. We sent it off to the Beeb but got told we needed an agent...never mind. This was written before the second season was in production.

DOCTOR WHO ''Facets'' TEASER FADE IN: 1. EXT. SPACE A vast, swirling cloud of interstellar debris dominates the scene. Whole planets and suns are being drawn to their destruction. It is a black hole, a rip in the fabric of space and time. The TARDIS tumbles into view, apparently caught by the immense gravitational forces at play. 2. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM - DAY THE DOCTOR works frantically beneath the main console, only his legs visible, as ROSE TYLER looks on with concern, a cloth bag thrown over her shoulder. A shower of sparks erupts from beneath the console and THE DOCTOR grumbles. THE DOCTOR Come on, you thing! ROSE Need a hand? THE DOCTOR (sarcastically) Yeah, sure. Know anything about transdimensional field physics? ROSE No need to be sarky, Doctor! Besides, whacking it with a hammer's not going to do much good. You really should take better care of the TARDIS, you know! The TARDIS is rocked by severe gravitational sheer. A distortion effect plays across the screen. ROSE (CONT'D) It might have escaped your notice, but we're about to be squashed to death by a black hole. THE DOCTOR Nonsense! It'd take more than a mere black hole to destroy the TARDIS. ROSE Then why are you worried? THE DOCTOR Because, my dear, although a black hole can't destroy the TARDIS, it can trap it forever in a space/time eddy. So, I'd rather not, if you don't mind. Another gravitational sheer rocks the control room and the console explodes again. THE DOCTOR screams from beneath and ROSE lunges forward, grabs his legs and attempts to pull him free. As she does, the distortion effect washes across them again. THE DOCTOR slumps, his eyes closed and ROSE is flung across the room. ROSE (scurrying back across to THE DOCTOR) Doctor? Doctor! THE DOCTOR lays quite still and we linger upon his motionless form. FADE OUT. END OF TEASER ACT ONE FADE IN: 1. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM - DAY ROSE TYLER is kneeling beside THE DOCTOR'S still form. She shakes him, violently attempting to bring him back to consciousness. ROSE (screaming) Doctor! Doctor! No response. A strange look plays across her young face ROSE (CONT'D) I need the Syrillian Synaptic Stimulator. (a puzzled look now) What did I just say? What the heck's a Syrillian Synaptic Thingy? THE MASTER (O.S.) Follow me, Rose. ROSE looks up and we follow her P.O.V. to see a strange man standing beside THE DOCTOR'S still form. He is a quite tall, late-middle-aged man with greying hair and a goatee beard and moustache. ROSE Who are you? How did you get here? THE MASTER It's a long story, young lady, but if you wish to save The Doctor, and thusly yourself, I suggest you do as I say. He walks across the control room to a door that wasn't there before. Rose follows, puzzlement etched onto her soft features. ROSE Can you at least tell me your name? THE MASTER The Doctor knew me as The Master. 2. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (ALTERNATE) - DAY They step through the door only to find themselves in a carbon copy of the control room. THE DOCTOR is standing beside the console, his arms folded across his chest. ROSE is unable to comprehend what is going on. THE MASTER stands to one side and quietly observes. THE DOCTOR Ah, Rose. Fantastic. I've been waiting to meet you for ages. ROSE Doctor? I don't understand. She points back through the door they just stepped through, only to find that it is not there anymore. ROSE (CONT'D) Oh, come on! What's going on, Doctor? THE DOCTOR I'm not The Doctor. I'm the TARDIS. Or at least a representation of me. (he begins to look puzzled himself) Or something. ROSE Okay So, where's The Doctor? THE TARDIS He's in the Control Room. He is also in there. He points to ROSE'S head, smiling. THE TARDIS (CONT'D) We have to get him out before the black hole traps us forever. Exciting, isn't it? ROSE The Doctor's in my head? Yeah right! C'mon, Doctor, tell me that this is all a big, Timelord joke. And who's this new friend of yours? (she points to THE MASTER) THE TARDIS Look, Rose, I'm being deadly serious. We are all in grave jeopardy and have little time for exposition. Suffice to say that I'm the TARDIS, he's The Master sort of and you have The Doctor swimming around inside your brain. Plenty of spare room in there. He must be quite comfy. Before ROSE can protest, he continues, still smiling. THE TARDIS (CONT'D) The Doctor knows that you need the Syrillian Synaptic Stimulator. Unfortunately, it's been put somewhere safe, as you do, and that somewhere is quite a way from here. The Master will help you find it I hope. He hands ROSE a small piece of paper and she looks at it, discovering that it is a train ticket. THE TARDIS (CONT'D) Off you go, then! You don't want to miss your train. And remember to follow the unexpected! THE TARDIS points to the doorway of the control room and THE MASTER heads towards it, turns to face ROSE, as she stands quite still. THE MASTER Come on, young lady. You heard what he said. We have a train to catch. ROSE shakes her head and follows THE MASTER through the doorway. 3. EXT. SMALL PROVINCIAL RAILWAY STATION - DAY They step out of the TARDIS and fine themselves on an old-fashioned railway platform, surrounded by beautiful countryside. ROSE casts around, bemused by the scene before her. She stares at the familiar, blue police box for a long moment. ROSE I thought we were about to be sucked into a black hole? THE MASTER We are, my dear. We are still inside the TARDIS. ROSE But Oh, never mind. I gave up trying to figure this place out a long time ago. She looks to her ticket stub, her brow furrowing. ROSE (CONT'D) The train should be here any minute. Right on cue, a splendid, puffing steam train chugs into the station and comes to a halt beside the platform. THE MASTER gestures for ROSE to climb aboard and she does so tentatively. 4. INT. STEAM TRAIN - DAY They walk through the empty carriages before deciding to sit down in a randomly chosen cabin. The train chugs away and the summertime countryside is soon whizzing by the window. THE MASTER pulls out a cigarette and begins to light it. ROSE points to the NO SMOKING sticker on the window, but he ignores her and puffs away merrily, smiling darkly at her. ROSE I know you. Don't tell me how I know, but you're The Doctor's arch enemy. You're supposed to be dead. Why are you here, helping him now? THE MASTER You Earthlings think in such linear terms. Let's just say that if The Doctor dies, then I die. It is in my best interests to help you for now. A ticket collector, who is a dead ringer for THE DOCTOR, appears and punches ROSE'S ticket. She ignores the similarity, apparently getting used to this bizarre situation. He looks at it and a frown crosses his face. TICKET COLLECTOR I'm not sure you'll want to spend too much time there, miss. It's a dangerous place. Some nasty people live there. ROSE (a look of concern on her face) I have to go. Who lives there? TICKET COLLECTOR (hands ROSE the ticket) All I can say is that 'all that glistens is gold'. The TICKET COLLECTOR leaves after doffing his cap to THE MASTER and ROSE stares at THE DOCTOR'S arch nemesis. ROSE You were going to warn me about this dangerous place, weren't you? THE MASTER You would have found out soon enough. Besides, our ever watchful keeper is ensuring that you are kept abreast of things. The train judders to a halt and THE MASTER rises from his seat. He crushes the cigarette on the floor with a shiny, black shoe and opens the cabin door. ROSE follows him. THE MASTER I believe that this is our stop. 5. EXT. SCRAP YARD - DAY They clambered down from the train to find that they are not at a station. They are in a dilapidated breaker's yard. Rusting cars and trucks are piled in rickety columns all around them. ROSE looks around and sees that the train has vanished. There aren't even any tracks here! A glint of silver disappearing behind an old car causes ROSE to catch her breath. Another glimpse of a shiny, metallic form has ROSE backing up into THE MASTER. THE MASTER (whispering) Cybermen. We must proceed with caution. ROSE And where exactly are we proceeding to? THE MASTER (sighs) The Syrillian Synaptic Stimulator was dismantled by The Doctor five hundred years ago. Its three pieces, two interlocking segments and a final master cell, are scattered throughout the TARDIS, becoming lost to him over the centuries. Obviously the TARDIS knows where they are and it's guiding us as best it can. ROSE Then why doesn't it just tell us where these pieces are? Why all this creeping around? And why are Cybermen inside the TARDIS? THE MASTER You ask far too many questions, young lady. (sighs again) Very well. A black hole is a rupture in space/time. The TARDIS is a space/time machine. Without The Doctor in control, the TARDIS is at the whim of the time shifts created by the quantum eddies that surround the event horizon. Without a Timelord at the helm, the TARDIS is prone to, erm, its own imagination. He opens his arms wide, encompassing the scene around them. THE MASTER (CONT'D) Everything that The Doctor has experienced is embedded in the fabric of the TARDIS, as is everything you have experienced. It can create worlds within worlds, my dear. ROSE You mean that this is all a big hallucination? That you aren't real either? THE MASTER I'm as real as you are, young Rose Tyler. As real as anything you have experienced. ROSE Well, I've experienced some pretty unreal stuff since I met The Doctor, believe me. THE MASTER (smiles) You have wisdom beyond your years, my dear. Now see if you can dredge something up from The Doctor about the Cybermen. ROSE places her fingers to her temples and concentrates. Eventually, she gives up, shaking her head. ROSE Nothing. THE MASTER So typical of him. He probably thinks this is all a jolly hoot. ROSE Don't you know anything about these Cyberwotsits? THE MASTER Perhaps. But why deprive you of all the fun of solving the puzzle? ROSE (angrily) What's the point of all this cloak and dagger stuff? If you're here to help, why don't you just start? (she composes herself) Can these illusions hurt me? (THE MASTER reaches out and nips her cheek, leaving a red mark) Ow! I suppose I asked for that. Well, The Doctor, I mean the TARDIS told me to follow the unexpected, so I reckon we follow those Cybermen. Come on. EXT. HOUSING BLOCK - DAY They pick their way through the rusting cars to emerge from the breaker's yard into a housing block that bears a remarkable resemblance to the blocks of flats where ROSE lives. They duck out of view when they spot a trio of Cyberman standing around an old-fashioned, yellow vintage car. Two young boys are spraying graffiti onto a wall in large, metallic spray paint, apparently oblivious to the silver aliens only a few metres from them. ROSE Bessie! THE MASTER I beg your pardon? ROSE That car. It was The Doctor's once. THE MASTER How quaint. He can tell you the name of his old jalopy, but when it comes to important matters, such as defeating the Cybermen, he is quite dumb. So typical of the man. ROSE sees the kids spray-painting beside a dumpster and the TICKET COLLECTOR'S voice echoes. TICKET COLLECTOR (V.O. echoing) All that glistens is gold. ROSE sneaks out from their hiding place and creeps across to the kids. They see her and run away, dropping a can of spray paint. ROSE picks up the can, remaining hidden from the Cybermen's view by the dumpster. Suddenly, the whole scene shudders violently, as though an earthquake is taking place. ROSE almost drops the spray can as she slips to the ground. The Cybermen look around, their silver bodies rocking to and fro. THE MASTER grips the edge of the wall behind which he is hiding. When the quake subsides, ROSE gestures for THE MASTER to join her, but he shakes his head, pointing at the three Cybermen. ROSE gesticulates that she wants THE MASTER to lure the Cybermen over to her position. He shakes his head again and gestures for her to come back to him. She persists and he eventually nods in acquiescence. He emerges from his hiding place and raises his arms over his head. THE MASTER (loudly) Excuse me! Would you mind stepping over here? The Cybermen look to each other, then begin trudging towards THE MASTER, their weapons raised. When they pass the dumpster, ROSE taps one on the shoulder and when it turns round, she sprays the gold paint onto the Cyberman's chest plate. The alien slumps to the ground, groaning with electronic pain. The second Cyberman swings at ROSE, but she ducks beneath its arm and sprays it on the chest, like the first one. This Cyberman drops as quickly as the first did. The third Cyberman approaches, its rifle raised, and ROSE presses the nozzle on the can. Nothing happens. The spray paint has run out! Just as we think that ROSE'S end is nigh, the Cyberman removes its helmet to reveal THE DOCTOR, or rather THE TARDIS illusion of him. ROSE You! What was all that shaking? Something to do with the black hole? THE TARDIS (with a huge grin) Brilliant, Rose! You catch on quick. (points to Bessie) Well, your carriage awaits. ROSE (glumly) This is like being in flaming Alice Through the Looking Glass! ROSE and THE MASTER approach the vintage car and ROSE strokes the fender delicately, as though recognising an old friend. As she does so, she notices a small object on the passenger seat of the car. She climbs in, picks up the object and rotates it in her hands. She then sits down in the driver's seat. THE MASTER gets in and plonks himself down in the passenger seat. ROSE holds up the object. It is greyish in colour, roughly rectangular with obviously missing facets. ROSE The first part of the Syrillian wotsit, I presume? (she puts the object in her bag and places her hands on the steering wheel) Right, how do I work this thing? (a quick turn of the ignition key and Bessie chugs into life) That was easy. (smiling) ROSE grinds the gears and Bessie jerks forward, bringing grimaces from both herself and THE MASTER. She quickly gets the hang of driving the car, though and they trundle away towards the end of the street where a dark tunnel cuts through a railway viaduct. THE TARDIS (calling after them) That's it, old girl. Any rust will soon disappear. The car disappears into the tunnel and we follow the passenger's P.O.V. as it emerges on the other side beside a low, sprawling building. EXT. SCHOOL - DAY ROSE glances behind and sees that the viaduct tunnel is nowhere to be seen. She looks at the building beside them. ROSE This is my old school. What are we doing here? THE MASTER I assume we must explore within. ROSE I met a bloke who talked like you once. That was in the nineteenth century! Get with the times, man. THE MASTER Disrespectful, young whippersnapper! ROSE (smiling) See? Come on, then. They climb out of Bessie and enter the foyer of the main school building. INT. SCHOOL - FOYER ROSE and THE MASTER find themselves inside a typical British school reception area. A couple of dusty rubber plants try vainly to break the monotony of beige and grey and a notice board bears a single A4 sheet declaring that this year's school fancy dress party will have a 'ROBOT' theme. A single sign dangles from the ceiling, informing them that the Science Room is third on the left. ROSE There were never any signs like that when I went here. THE MASTER Then I must assume that that is where we must go. ROSE Oh great. I was rubbish at science! They walk down the corridor, passing empty classroom after empty classroom. The place is eerily quiet. ROSE Must be a weekend. THE MASTER raises his eyes to the skies and shakes his head ever so slightly. At last they find the Science Room and push open the door. INT. SCHOOL SCIENCE ROOM It is a typical school science lab, with rows of benches, dotted with gas outlets for Bunsen burners. A large blackboard dominates the front wall and to the left, a large, glass cylinder contains a dirty, brown liquid. Upon the blackboard are scrawled, in white chalk, several chemical equations, some with crosses beside and one with a tick. On the opposite wall, between the grimy windows is a large poster depicting the planet Mars. We follow ROSE'S P.O.V. as she scans the room with her eyes. ROSE Well, I can't see anything here. Maybe we should try somewhere else. ROSE turns around to the door they came through and almost shrieks when she finds it blocked by an ominous-looking, eight-foot tall, silver robot (the eponymous robot from the season twelve episode, 'Robot'). It is standing quite still, but manages to block their exit quite effectively. THE MASTER approaches the bulky android and places his ear quite close to the mechanical's body with out actually touching it. THE MASTER I believe it is deactivated. ROSE Give us a hand. We'll see if we can move it. ROSE and a reluctant MASTER struggle and strain for a while, but the robot remains firmly in place. ROSE looks around, flustered and settles her gaze on the windows. She goes across to them, but finds them all securely locked. We also see that on the outside of the glass, there is a sturdy-looking security mesh. She turns back to THE MASTER, exasperated. He simply folds his arms and leans against the still droid, smiling smugly at ROSE. Another earthquake shakes the science room, causing books to fall from shelves and the windows to rattle violently. The robot remains unaffected, as does the container of brown fluid. THE MASTER I believe that we have little time before the effects of the black hole begin to have dire consequences for us. ROSE I thought the TARDIS was unaffected by black holes? THE MASTER It cannot be destroyed by a black hole, but it certainly can be affected. We have little time left to us. ROSE (after pondering for a long moment) Okay, this is another puzzle. There must be something here. A clue. (she crosses to the blackboard and looks at the chemical equations scrawled there. We see NaNO2 and C6H8O7 , each with a cross beside it and Fe2O3 with a large tick) I was hopeless in chemistry. What does all this stuff mean? (she looks to THE MASTER) Well? What does it mean? THE MASTER Two crosses and a tick? It seems quite obvious to me. ROSE (after staring at him for several seconds) And? THE MASTER Oh, my dear, you give up so easily. (he crosses to the blackboard and points to each equation in turn) This is sodium nitrite, this is citric acid and this is ferric oxide. The first two have crosses, the third has a tick. ROSE So we use the third for something? Ferric oxide, that rings a bell. Isn't that the posh name for rust? THE MASTER Hoorah for young Rose Tyler! ROSE So, we need some rust to shift that thing? (points to the robot) We get it rusty and wait for a hundred years for it to dissolve? Even The Doctor would think that was a long wait! THE MASTER (smiling) I get the impression that we will not have to wait that long, my dear. ROSE (looking around) Alright, where can we find some fast-acting rust? (her eyes fall on the container of brownish liquid) What about that stuff? ROSE crosses the room and peers into the container. Through the murky liquid, she can see a nail, slowly dissolving, its rusty effluent causing the fluid's discoloration. ROSE This stuff looks promising. I suppose we just dunk it over him. THE MASTER Him? ROSE Him. It. The robot thingy. Give us a hand. (THE MASTER claps slowly, a sly grin on his face) Very droll. Come on! Grudgingly, THE MASTER helps ROSE lift the heavy container and they pour the fluid all over the motionless form of the robot. They then stand back, anticipation heavy in the air. After several seconds, nothing seems to be happening. The robot merely sits there, dripping onto the tiled floor. ROSE Well, back to the old drawing board. Let's see what else THE MASTER Wait, Rose. Look! Slowly, the robot's shiny surface begins to dull. Dark brown splodges begin to form, like bacterial mould growing across its body. Soon the whole robot is covered with ugly rust and it begins eating away at the metal form. In only a minute or so, the robot has dissolved to nothing, leaving only a steaming smear on the floor. In the centre of this smudge is the second piece of the Syrillian Synaptic Stimulator. It is a perfect mirror image of the first piece. ROSE tentatively picks it up and pops it into her bag. ROSE (smiling) My old science teacher would be proud of me. Except for the mess, of course. THE MASTER Two pieces down, only one to go. I wonder if this final segment will be as easy to obtain. ROSE Only one way to find out. Come on. ROSE pulls the door open and the both step through. EXT. SMALL PROVINCIAL RAILWAY STATION DAY ROSE and THE MASTER find themselves on the opposite platform to the one they were on originally. The TARDIS is visible on the opposite side. The scene shakes again and the tracks between the platforms buckle and twist. A cascade effect sucks a large section of the track, sleepers and all, down to a swirling vortex that is obviously the approaching black hole. ROSE is flung to the ground and THE MASTER helps her up. A loud rumbling fills the air, meaning that they must almost shout to hear each other. THE MASTER (pointing to the covered bridge that allows access to the opposite platform) I believe that we should make use of that while we can. Look, the effect is spreading. We see more of the track being ripped down to the black hole and the distortion effect has begun rippling upwards, making the opposite side of the tracks hazy and indistinct. The bridge is still intact at this point. Above the rumbling, a distant train whistle can just be heard. ROSE nods and they both head for the steps leading to the overpass, THE MASTER in the lead. INT. COVERED PEDESTRIAN BRIDGE As they begin to cross the bridge, ROSE comes to a stop, a confused look on her face. ROSE Wait! What about the final piece? We haven't found it yet. THE MASTER stops and turns around. He is now at the other side of the bridge. He smiles at ROSE wickedly. THE MASTER And here I was thinking that you were proficient at puzzles. ROSE What? (beat) Hang on. The last piece is the master piece. (she looks to THE MASTER, realisation dawning) You have the final piece! You had it all the time. Why didn't you just give it to me? THE MASTER Believe me, my dear, I wanted to give you this (he reaches into the pocket of his long, black overcoat and pulls out the Master Cell. It glows eerily in the palm of his hand, a shimmering crystal pulsing with energy) but I decided that it was time that I freed myself from this place. I have been trapped here for too long. The black hole has allowed me to take physical form, the nave TARDIS falling for my whispering ideas all too easily. ROSE But you're not real! You're just a memory of The Master. How can you exist outside of the TARDIS. THE MASTER (exploding with rage) I am real! You felt that for yourself! (ROSE touches the cheek that was pinched by THE MASTER) The Doctor defeated me in this very contraption for what he thought was the last time. Not so! Now I shall be victorious. My resurrection will be complete! I shall Suddenly the centre of the bridge collapses, shattered planks of wood swirling into the maelstrom beneath. THE MASTER steps back, only to bump into the Doctor-like image of THE TARDIS. The distant train whistle sounds closer. THE MASTER looks startled as THE TARDIS swipes the master cell from his hand. THE TARDIS (smiling) I'll take that, thanks. What were you saying about me being nave? Bye-bye. THE TARDIS shoved THE MASTER hard and he falls backwards into the gaping hole behind him. He tumbles and twists into the black hole, screaming the whole time. THE TARDIS looks to ROSE on the other side of the hole. The train whistle is getting louder. ROSE looks to the side and we see a steam train approaching. ROSE Why is there a train coming? I thought you created all of this! THE TARDIS Never mind the train. Jump. I'll catch you. ROSE looks to the man, to the train and down to the swirling maelstrom below. A tremendous judder rocks the bridge and it collapses down several metres, the distortion effect ripping away more planks. The train is very close now. ROSE almost slips into the hole, only frantic scrabbling with her feet preventing her from plummeting to her doom. ROSE climbs to her feet, backs up several paces, takes a deep breath and runs. She leaps across the chasm and we follow her across, her arms and legs flailing. It appears that she is not going to make it and a look of pure horror flashes across both her face and THE TARDIS' face also. ROSE squeezes her eyes tight shut. As she dips lower and lower it seems that the black hole will claim another victim until a hand grabs her wrist! ROSE opens her eyes to see the familiar face of The Doctor beaming down at her. She smiles back, the smile turning to a grimace as we hear the train whistle again, this time exceedingly close. THE TARDIS pulls her upwards, just as the steam train thunders below, plunging into the stellar whirlpool and breaking up as it falls. ROSE and THE TARDIS stand in each others arms, the girl nuzzling her face into his chest. ROSE (looking up into THE TARDIS' face) I-I thought I was going to die. THE TARDIS Not a chance, Rose. The Doctor needs you. And so do I? ROSE What? THE TARDIS You'll understand in time. Come on, let's go sort this mess out. They rush down the steps to the opposite platform and ROSE glances back from the open door of the blue police box just as the rest of the bridge crumbles into the abyss. She enters, closing the door behind her. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM THE TARDIS and ROSE kneel down beside THE DOCTOR. He is in the same position as before, his eyes closed. ROSE pulls the two pieces of the Syrillian Synaptic Stimulator from her bag and slots them together. THE TARDIS hands her the master cell and she drops the shimmering crystal into the hole in the upper side of the device. The object buzzes into life, with several flashing lights appearing at intervals on its surface. THE TARDIS Just lie down beside The Doctor, with the Stimulator between you. Place The Doctor's hand on the crystal, then put your own hand on top of his. It will do the rest. ROSE Thanks. It was nice knowing you. But then, I already know you, don't I? It's not as if you're going anywhere. THE TARDIS Goodbye, Rose. Do me a favour will you? ROSE Anything. THE TARDIS moves his mouth close to ROSE'S ear and whispers something inaudible. She smiles and nods. The Doctor illusion fades and the last thing we see before he is gone is a sly wink and grin to ROSE. ROSE gets down on the floor beside THE DOCTOR and places the Stimulator between them. She places THE DOCTOR'S right hand on the glowing crystal, then she lies down flat and places her left hand on top of his. THE DOCTOR'S eyes flicker open and he sits up quickly. He sees ROSE beside him and she sits up, smiling. ROSE Good to see you back, Doctor. It is you, isn't it? THE DOCTOR Course it is. Who else could it be? What happened? Did I faint? That's embarrassing if I did. I think I had the weirdest dream. (he picks up the Stimulator) I wondered where this had gone. How did you find it? ROSE I'll explain later. Before that, I think you've got some work to do. As if to emphasise her point, the control room shudders with gravitational force. THE DOCTOR Ah, right. Yes! He rushes to the main console and pulls several levers. Nothing happens. He goes to use his mallet on the console, but ROSE grabs it from his hand. ROSE You shouldn't do that. The TARDIS doesn't like it. THE DOCTOR It doesn't? ROSE (shaking her head) Nope. Here, press this button. ROSE points to a large, green button on the console and THE DOCTOR presses it, whilst looking sceptical. The central column begins to rise and fall and we hear that familiar groaning and wheezing as the TARDIS operates. ROSE smiles broadly and THE DOCTOR shares her joy as we cut to EXT. SPACE The black hole dominates the screen and the TARDIS dematerialises just in the nick of time. The camera continues in to the singularity and we zoom in on the still tumbling figure if THE MASTER as he screams and wails, trapped for eternity in the heart of the black hole. FADE OUT END CREDITS THE END
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STAR TREK FAR HORIZONS (posted on: 03-03-06)
STAR TREK FAR HORIZONS is a a joint story by me (Simon Murphy and Steve Johnson) It is set about 30 years after Star Trek Voyager. Old enemies who fought side by side in the Dominion war settle their differences and undertake the biggest project since man boldly took to the stars. This is the first part (draft) and the story is ongoing, we have other story ideas to follow in this theme. We have looked into pushing this story and others to a publisher. Si:-)

PROLOGUE Annika Hansen gazed out of the lounge window aboard the USS Arecibo. Although she was over sixty years of age, her remaining Borg implants ensured that she looked twenty years younger. One of the few advantages her life as Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero-One, had provided her, she smiled. Few advantages. Since returning to the Alpha Quadrant aboard the USS Voyager over a third of a century earlier, Annika had seen both the best of humanity and the worst. What few friends she had were precious to her: Katherine Janeway, Chakotay and the rest of the Voyager crew; newfound friendships with members of the Pathfinder Project, including Admiral Paris, Reg Barclay and a handful of others; but acquaintances outside of Starfleet were almost non-existent. With Janeway promoted to admiral and the crew of Voyager largely reassigned and sent off on new missions, Annika's life had become somewhat lonely for several long, gruelling years. She was not shunned because of her semi-Borg nature, her external Borg facets were removed barely a year after her arrival on Earth, but she found that people did act differently around her. More cautious. More cold. It had been a hard time. Even reverting to her human name, the one given to her by her parents, had not eased the burden upon her heart. Then she had proposed what became known as the Gilgamesh Project and her life had been transformed. Annika had suggested to Starfleet that she could design a transwarp hub, utilising techniques drawn from her Borg days, which could theoretically transport a starship millions of light years to another galaxy, with a transport time of mere minutes. Of course, it took some persuading and countless and endless computer simulations before anybody took her seriously, but eventually her plan was given the green light. The Gilgamesh Project would ultimately become the single most ambitious endeavour ever seen in the galaxy. It was so ambitious that it would have been impossible without the total commitment of several Alpha Quadrant governments. In an act of unity never before seen, Federation, Klingon, Romulan and Cardassian scientists and engineers combined their efforts and resources to construct the massive gateway that would whisk a specially-designed vessel across the vast, dark ocean of oblivion that separated the Milky Way from its nearest neighbour, the M31 spiral, also known as the Andromeda Galaxy. Whilst it was common knowledge that Borg transwarp conduits could fling vessels across great distances much more rapidly than standard warp drive, it was less well-known that with modifications, a transwarp hub could draw on the tremendous energies of The Great Barrier, that boundary of impossible forces that encircles every galaxy, to send a ship or a fleet of ships an almost limitless distance. It was this gateway that now dominated Annika's field of vision. It hung in space, almost invisible in the black, almost starless void, a gigantic, oval spider web of tritanium and duranium, an unblinking eye, peering over a precipice of infinity, focussed on a distant haze. Beyond it lay the Barrier. Although invisible to the naked eye, when viewed using a starship's sensors, the awesome energies broiling and churning staggered the mind. Soon, thrusters aboard the hub would fire, gently pushing it against the Barrier, and those energies would be channelled. Annika watched her life's work coming to fruition, and felt a brief surge of emotion quicken her heartbeat. To her right, dwarfing the tugs, the workbees and even the Arecibo, the ship designed to traverse the hub glided into view. The Horizon. A vessel unlike any other previously built, the Horizon was ten times the length of a Sovereign-class starship. It took the best elements from current design theories from each of the member participants and enhanced them: Romulan warp drive, Klingon durability and defensive systems, Federation communications and sensors, Cardassian elegance and design stability. Indeed, Horizon was constructed at a purpose-built shipyard at Cardassia Prime. For a people that had suffered the most in the aftermath of the Dominion War, the Gilgamesh Project was a welcome boost to their economy and national pride. The forward section of the ship comprised the command hull and was largely saucer-shaped, but less like the Starfleet preference and more akin to the Cardassian model. Below this was nestled the primary deflector, magnitudes of size larger than any previous design. Immediately behind the primary hull was the cylindrical body of the tertiary hull, which contained hangar bays for a variety of shuttles and runabouts around the outer skin and inside, the area designated as 'Colony One', a huge surface area around the inside of the cylinder that contained living quarters for up to a hundred thousand souls and also wooded parks, recreation areas and all the amenities provided by what was essentially a mobile starbase. Its wheel-like form, reminiscent of elegant Cardassian space stations such as Deep Space Nine, but in an elongated form, was supported by eight, thick columns connected to the central core of the ship. Behind this was the engineering hull. Designed and built mostly with Romulan expertise, four immense warp nacelles were powered by the largest quantum singularity ever contained within an artificial construct. These engines could propel the ship at velocities that almost required a new scale to be developed, with warp factor ten pushed further from the decimal point than ever before. Finally, at the most rearward area of the ship, was the main hangar. This section was large enough to house two starships in full dry-dock if necessary, but at the moment it held a much more precious cargo the sectioned assembly of a transwarp hub that would have to be constructed in the Andromeda galaxy, if the Horizon ever wished to see home again. Aside from the huge warp nacelles, perhaps Horizon's most striking feature were the four, slender docking pylons, extending at right-angles from the main body of the ship. Firmly attached to these sturdy structures were the four Starfleet-designed vessels that would accompany the mother ship on its long journey. This quartet of brand-new Valiant-class ships was the Federation's major contribution to the project. Each as large as the old Excelsior-class starships, but fitted with the latest Starfleet technology, these ships would act not only as escorts to Horizon, but also undertake explorations of discovery away from their base position. Although Federation in design, the crews of these ships were, like Horizon, drawn, and captained by an officer, from all the participating cultures. Each ship was named accordingly: USS Explorer, USS K'Mpec, USS Gal'Gathong and USS Damar. Annika quietly marvelled at the scale of the project behind which she had been the driving force. Soon, the Horizon, with a skeleton crew of seven thousand drawn from, but not exclusively so, all the races involved, would make the furthest intentional journey in the history of the Alpha Quadrant. If this brief initial mission was a success and Horizon returned home safely, a full population of colonists and explorers would embark upon a second voyage, a voyage that would last indefinitely. It was truly a work of its time, a period of unparalleled cooperation between formerly implacable foes. Such a project could not have worked before the Dominion War, when the Alpha Quadrant races joined forces to defeat the Founders and their Jem'Hadar hordes from the Gamma Quadrant. Never before had the great empires of that quarter of the galaxy rallied together in a struggle to drive away an enemy that could have destroyed everything within their separate domains. Annika's train of thought was broken by the chime of Arecibo's intercom. The captain informed her that Horizon was preparing to enter the hub and that she should report to the bridge. She acknowledged, smiling as she left the lounge at the familiar voice and remembering the idealistic young man that had grown to become one of Starfleet's most decorated officers. She stepped out of the turbolift and onto the Arecibo's bustling main bridge. Unsure of where to put herself, she waited until the captain noticed her standing awkwardly by the lift doors. ''Seven, come here,'' grinned Captain Harry Kim. ''I've kept a seat warm for you.'' She smiled at her old friend. Harry was the only one who insisted on calling her by her old, Borg name. He told her it reminded him of 'the good old days' on Voyager. She agreed and allowed him, and only him, to refer to her as Seven of Nine. Annika glided gracefully down to the bridge's lower command level and lightly shook her head as Harry offered the seat to the left of his captain's chair. ''If I didn't know you better, Seven, I'd say you were nervous.'' ''I prefer to stand,'' she said, purposely affecting her old mannerisms. ''My discomfort is irrelevant.'' Then she eyed Harry with a sly wink and they grinned at each other before he gave her a huge hug. Their reunion was interrupted by beeping from the communications console behind them. ''Captain, Admiral Norton is hailing.'' ''On screen, lieutenant,'' said Harry, still smiling. The rugged, handsome face of Admiral John Norton appeared on the viewscreen. He was in his late fifties, with greying hair and a paternal demeanour that endeared him to his officers, young and old alike. Annika knew him by reputation alone, but his career was the stuff of legend. During the Dominion War, as the first officer of the USS Invincible, he had assumed command when his captain had been killed and the ship badly damaged. He rallied the crew and destroyed not only two Breen warships, but also several Jem'Hadar vessels, while defending a crippled Romulan warbird. He was awarded not only the Federation's highest honour, but the Romulan Sotarek Citation, one of the Empire's highest military decorations. Promoted to captain, he was given the Invincible and his voyages of exploration helped solidify the alliances of the Alpha Quadrant, while initiating first contact with a dozen new species. He commanded respect throughout the quadrant both for his military skill and his diplomatic expertise. He was the perfect man to lead this dangerous, new mission. ''Captain Kim, it's good to see you again,'' he said, warmly regarding Harry. ''Likewise, admiral.'' He gestured towards Annika. ''Admiral, this is Sev Annika Hansen.'' He shrugged apologetically as Annika's eyes betrayed the humour in his faux pas. ''Miss Hansen, I've heard a lot about you. It's an honour to finally meet you. As you can see, we're all set to 'boldly go' once more. As the leading figure behind the project, I would like it if you could give the command.'' ''The command?'' Annika seemed genuinely puzzled. ''The command for them to embark, Seven,'' whispered Harry. ''It's a gesture of respect.'' Annika felt her eyes fill with tears. In all of her years living among humans, despite being human herself, she had always felt a chasm between herself and those around her. She had wanted a degree of the respect that she felt for others to be projected onto her, but that esteem had not been forthcoming, in her opinion, despite protests to the contrary from her closest friends. Now here was one of the Federation's most senior officers, a man she had never even met before, showing her the respect that she had sought for so long. She composed herself and nodded to the admiral. ''Admiral Norton, I send my hopes with you and your people.'' She glanced at Harry, standing proudly beside her. ''We'll be here when you return.'' ''Thank you,'' smiled Norton. ''Keep a light in the window. Horizon out.'' The viewscreen returned to its former image of the hub and the Horizon parked at its threshold. As they watched, Annika found herself reaching for Harry's hand and he took it without question. Thrusters on the hub fired and it gently moved in space, slowly drifting towards the invisible barrier of energy that marked the limit of the Milky Way. Suddenly, a swirling maelstrom of impossible energies erupted in the centre of the massive device. Harry, startled by the brilliant flash of light, instinctively raised a hand to shield his eyes, but Annika simply stood, tears flowing down her slender cheeks and multi-hued patterns playing across her delicate skin and flowing, blonde hair. The Horizon, with its four escorts securely attached to the docking pylons, initiated its impulse engines and surged forward into the raging eddy. Then it was gone. The transwarp conduit remained open for several minutes, bizarre fires licking into space and washing the bridge with its eerie kaleidoscope. When it finally deactivated and all was calm once more, Annika wondered if she would see Norton and his crew again. Personal log, stardate 88157.6. Admiral John K Norton recording: Although our voyage through the transwarp conduit is brief, I find myself nervously entering this log in written form on a padd. Five minutes to travel two million light years? It is almost beyond belief. Yet here we are doing just that. I watch my crew, also sitting nervously, yet steadfastly monitoring their stations with a skill and dedication for which I can feel only admiration. Gul Rekat, my Number One and a fine officer, gazes at the twisting vortices on the main viewer, her emotions hidden beneath a veneer of Cardassian efficiency. Lieutenant-Commander T'Saal Rito, chief of security. Half Vulcan, half Betazoid, yet all Starfleet and the first officer I chose to be part of this fine crew. Lieutenant K'Marg, a typical Klingon, but of the new school. Naturally aggressive, yes, but also intelligent and thoughtful. I can only imagine what my other senior staff are doing at this moment. I have no doubt that Sub-Commander N'Varr is prowling his engine room, maintaining the Romulan discipline for which he is renowned throughout their empire. A brilliant engineer, but often lacking in the social skills needed on this kind of a mission. I am sure he will adapt. I hope we will have little need for the services of Doctor Shynar Tiless, our chief medical officer, but if the worst comes to the worst, this Andorian is the best in the business. I am about to give the order to exit the transwarp conduit and we will enter the Andromeda galaxy. May the wind be on our backs. CHAPTER ONE The Andromeda Spiral, listed in Federation databases as M31, shares many similarities with its closest galactic partner, the Milky Way. It is a flattened disc of roughly a half trillion stars, densely-packed towards the central bulge and thinning out in the arms over hundreds of thousands of light years. Those star systems comprise of all the types that make up our home galaxy, from yellow suns to red supergiants and everything in between. The Federation was aware of several species that had travelled from Andromeda to the Milky Way, most notably the Kelvans, but for all intents and purposes, M31 was unexplored and unknown. Until now. The fabric of space erupted and a vast, whirling cloud of energy appeared. Lightning sparks flashed ferociously and from the centre of this vortex emerged the huge form of the Horizon. The first step into a new frontier had been taken. Almost as soon as the vessel had cleared the transwarp conduit, it dissipated and Horizon hung alone in a space with very few stars, but the body of Andromeda sprawled below them, its nebulae stretching into infinite midnight, a river of stars awaiting discovery. The main bridge of Horizon was almost silent, save for the automatic beeps and warbles from its numerous work stations. It was as though the crew had held their breath and now feared to exhale. Admiral Norton's executive officer, Gul Rekat, was the first to break the silence. ''Lieutenant K'Marg, status report.'' ''All stations reporting in, sir,'' he replied, without looking up from his console. Rekat rose from her chair beside where Norton was sitting and crossed to the Klingon at the Operations station at the front of the bridge. She leaned on the back of his chair, her lithe, grey body concealed beneath layers of Cardassian armour. K'Marg was similarly-adorned in traditional Klingon battle dress. It had been agreed upon that while Starfleet protocols should guide the mission, each race would wear their own uniforms, not in a display of disunity, but as an affirmation of their discrete, cultural evolution. ''All stations report secure, sir,'' reported K'Marg eventually, his readouts flashing green across the board. ''Very well. Conn, thrusters at station-keeping. Commander T'Saal, initiate long-range scans.'' Lieutenant-Commander T'Saal keyed commands into her security console with typical Vulcan efficiency. Only her deep, black irises betrayed her Betazoid half. Her olive skin, pointed ears protruding from a neat, black bob and suppressed emotions clearly marked her as Vulcan to anybody who met her. Indeed, she demanded to be referred to as T'Saal and not her full name of T'Saal Rito, inherited from a proud, Betazoid mother. ''Long range sensors can detect no vessels within five light years, sir. No natural anomalies detected.'' ''Thank you.'' Rekat turned to Norton. ''Admiral?'' Norton smiled. Despite being a crew taken from fleets of widely differing procedures and motivations, he was amazed at how quickly they had absorbed the Starfleet practices. A more egotistical officer might have patted himself on the back for the way he had trained the crew, but Norton knew that he had been simply a figurehead. The crew had done the hard work themselves and he was both proud and amazed. The people beneath him would have argued that point vociferously. He had moulded them into a tight, well-trained group and, while disagreements were still a little more than rare, the chain of command was respected at all times. ''Rekat, inform the starship captains that they have permission to undock.'' Gul Rekat nodded and relayed the order. Outside, atop the long docking pylons, latches banged open and airlock seals hissed free. Slowly the four escort ships of the Horizon manoeuvred away from their base, taking up protective positions on all sides. When the admiral was content that all was proceeding satisfactorily, he addressed the bridge comlink, ''Sub-Commander N'Varr, you may proceed with hub assembly.'' ''Yes, sir,'' came the instantaneous reply from the chief engineer, almost five kilometres behind them in the main hangar bay. Gigantic motors roared into life and the rear drydock doors crept open, revealing the disassembled sections of the transwarp hub, held in place by numerous workbees and tugs. Once fully-exposed, the engineering crews set to work, gently pulling the huge latticework segments into space. The task would require at least a standard week to complete and during that time, the four starships had work of their own to begin. Before then, however, Norton had a speech planned. He had been preparing it for years, writing and rewriting it many times. He had decided against a typical Starfleet pep talk and instead opted for a brief confidence-builder that all of his crew could appreciate. ''Attention all stations, this is Admiral Norton.'' He paused for a moment, glancing around at his dedicated bridge staff. ''We have travelled further than anybody can possibly have imagined. Not only in terms of distance, but also ideologically. We are a crew of many races, but yet we are one. We are the crew of Horizon. I am honoured to serve with each and every one of you. ''Now, as we begin construction of our means of returning home, we are tasked with searching out new life and new civilisations in this unknown expanse of the universe. We are not conquerors. We are not invaders. We are explorers. ''Success!'' Throughout the ship, officers and crew shouted the word in their own languages: Klingon, Romulan, Cardassian, Andorian, Terran, Tellarite and countless others. It could be felt through the deck-plates and bulkheads of the entire vessel, rippling out into space, a shockwave of supreme confidence. CHAPTER TWO Four hours later, Norton eased his achingly-stiff body down onto the comfortable sofa in his quarters, taking great care not to spill the hot coffee he had just replicated. His pain came from the tension he had felt as his crews had expertly performed their assigned duties. As they busied themselves, he had nothing to do but sit in his command chair and appear to be in charge. He recalled studying a report by a twenty-third century analyst that declared that starship captains were an unnecessary relic of a bygone age. A vessel could operate, it had said, equally efficiently without a figurehead in the centre seat. The report had been proven to be inaccurate, of course, but the preceding hours had brought home to the admiral just how lonely the command position could be. Aside from acknowledging a few reports, Norton had very little to actually do. The engineering crews had begun assembling the transwarp hub, slowly and deliberately. The four starship captains had reported in and three of them had warped into unknown space, leaving the USS Explorer to patrol Horizon's parking sector. They would return in a few days, each with new information and experiences to add to the database. Three powerful starships, each captained by Klingon, Romulan and Cardassian. At one point in his life, Norton would have balked at the idea of having such people commanding exploratory missions, but the world had changed. Aggressive subjugation was no longer an option for the former empires of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants. Still, Norton had this niggling feeling at the back of his mind that what they were doing here was flag-planting, staking a claim on a place that was probably already occupied. That was the problem with this kind of exploration. Despite all efforts not to contaminate those worlds and species encountered, a degree of influence was always left behind. In two-hundred and fifty years of expansion, the Federation had been involved in more wars and lost more citizens than its founders could have thought possible. This was despite the guidance of the Prime Directive and its strict orders of non-interference. Sometimes people just wanted to be left alone. Sipping his coffee, the admiral wondered why he was in such a sombre mood. He was leading perhaps the greatest scientific voyage of discovery in history. He should be filled with hope, his heart soaring with joy for all that lay before them, but he felt that something was wrong. He hated those feelings because they were usually correct. ''Captain, there is a ship on a bearing towards us, travelling at high warp.'' Gul Nural raised a dark eyebrow and leaned forward in his chair. Barely half a day from port and they were to make their first encounter with the denizens of this new frontier. ''On screen,'' he said softly. Nural was far too seasoned an officer to become excited by such things, yet he did feel a degree of anticipation. The main viewer on the bridge of the USS Damar resolved into an image of a medium-sized vessel with a clunky design that could have come from any number of races from their home galaxy. It was something of a disappointment, to be fair. ''Mister Baron, a full scan if you please.'' The fingers of Damar's tactical officer played across his console and the required information was quickly forthcoming. ''It appears to be a freighter, sir,'' he reported. ''I'm reading several cargo bays, limited defensive systems and eighty-four humanoid life forms.'' ''Open a channel.'' Lieutenant Pete Baron again deftly worked his controls. ''No response, sir.'' A soft beep emanated from his readouts. ''Sir, their shields have gone up and their weapons have come online!'' ''Red alert.'' Nural's voice never raised in pitch as the bridge lighting dimmed and klaxons blared throughout the ship. ''The ship is angling away,'' said Baron. ''But its velocity remains constant.'' The unknown vessel veered sharply to the right, quickly vanishing from the viewscreen. ''Do we stay with it, captain?'' asked Nural's first officer, a Vulcan called Sebac. ''No, commander, let it go. I want to find out what it was running from.'' Sebac raised a slanted eyebrow and ordered the helmsman to remain on course as the fleeing cargo ship disappeared from Damar's sensors. TO BE CONTINUED... STAR TREK IS ACKNOWLEDGED AS A TRADEMARK OF PARAMOUNT PICTURES. BASED ON STAR TREK CREATED BY GENE RODDENBERRY. COPYRIGHT SIMON MURPHY AND STEVE JOHNSON 2006.
Archived comments for STAR TREK FAR HORIZONS
littleditty on 06-03-2006
STAR TREK™ FAR HORIZONS
Si -this looks interesting - it's long draft for reading on screen for me - i need to find a printer or a morning with good eyes! I'll pm you xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi Ld,

This is one of the things I am worrying about 'is the piece too long' I was going to split it into three.

You could copy it and paste it into word if it reads better that way.

Sorry, don't want you to get tired eyes.

Si:-)


POSTER GIRL (posted on: 27-02-06)
Something a bit dark here...the obsessive

Skirting the edge of reason I watch you Auburn silk adorns your faultless features Eyes of naive blue glow in party-land joy My lips part as yours part-perfection in flesh Drives my sanity ever nearer the frame of logic I would have worshipped you I would have done anything for you I would You wouldn't Rejection Refusal to acknowledgeme I fell in love with your pane-glass image A thousand shards pierce my aching heart The glass now broken, like my broken dreams Turning away I shall deface your image For your beauty I become your Nosferatu SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for POSTER GIRL
Apolloneia on 27-02-2006
POSTER GIRL
hey yes, quite dark and very interesting poem!

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and for thinking its interesting.

Si:-)

Jen_Christabel on 27-02-2006
POSTER GIRL
Dark and damned good stuff :o)
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jen,

Dark and damned good stuff...why thank you very much.

Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 27-02-2006
POSTER GIRL
Hi, Si - yes, this gets very creepy...especially at the end with the vampyre reference. Mm, it's uncomfortable because we can all understand it - everybody feels like that sometime, and the dangerous few never get out of it. Good stuff!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

I had to run this by my mate cos I thought this too creepy, he thought but said it was an interesting piece...so publish it!

Thanks for having a look and commenting.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 27-02-2006
POSTER GIRL
Si, this is good poetry, which leaves me wanting to read a bit more. Interesting ending, though. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,
Thanks for thinking this is good poetry, that means a lot!

Never thought that anybody would want to read more on this piece, glad that it made you want more.

Si:-)

littleditty on 28-02-2006
POSTER GIRL
Very good poem Si - i like what you have said here - i am a maniac and so would cut the 'shards' line from the 2nd stanza as it has the word 'shards' in it 😉 and also because your 2nd may be tighter without it -the end two lines are super! Also, in a brutal mood, for the same reason, the last two of the first! Have i just taken all the sweet out of it? I'm sorry Si -it's my mood :Oo - also what about this idea:

Skirting the edge of reason I watch you
Auburn silk adorns your faultless features
Eyes of naive blue glow in party-land joy
My lips part as yours part - perfection in flesh
Driving my sanity ever nearer the frame of logic's edge.

Anyway - i liked this one a lot 😀 xxxlittledittymaniactoday x


Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

Thanks for looking and commenting.

I like your ideas and can see that they would work.

You never take the 'sweet' out of anything my littlemaniacditty.

Thanks for taking an interest.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 28-02-2006
POSTER GIRL
Si, some very good lines in this poem. Enjoyed the overall feel.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Cheers Dargo,

Glad that you enjoyed my dark piece.

Si:-)

Transitions on 02-03-2006
POSTER GIRL
A little solace for you from leonard.
Below is my take on something similar.

"Oh chosen love
Oh frozen love
Oh tangle of matter and ghost
Oh darling of Angels Demons and Saints
And the whole broken hearted host
Gentle this soul
Gentle this soul" Leonard Cohen.

February the 9th


I set a foot on the ice
Shining silver in the sun light

It shattered

There was only empty air below it
A hollow space.

Eveything
Was in that beautiful frozen surface
That face
That facet
Now splintered and gone
Like a hazy mirror
Like shards of a broken vessel

Thankfully my blood does not run cold now
Thinking of you



Author's Reply:
Hi Transitions,

Cheers for having a gander and commenting.

I enjoyed your piece very much, you want to submit it.

Si:-)

Sunken on 02-03-2006
POSTER GIRL
I do like dark and obsessive. I have long believed that mars bars should be available in plain chocolate. Great piece. Crap comment.

s
u
n
k
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n


Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk, ta for looking and the crap comment.

I agree a plain chocolate Mars bar would be nice...sounds a bit naughty to me. A sort of sexual chocolatey...after midnight...stuff ya face silly sesh!!

Si getting carried away...literally...the blokes in white suits have arrived, must goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


sirat on 04-03-2006
POSTER GIRL
I liked this one a lot, possibly because it reminds me of a story of my own (Muskie's Big Break) but also because it's such a good image for the whole "falling in love" phenomenon, falling for "your pane-glass image", never mind the real you. I can't resist leaving a link to the song mentioned by Transitions, one of my favourite Leonard Cohen pieces, The Window.

Author's Reply:
Hi David,

Many thanks for taking a look at 'poster girl'.

I'm glad that you thought this piece worked and that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

PS Ta for the link, I'll have a listen.





woodbine on 05-03-2006
POSTER GIRL
An engaging poem that holds my ever wandering attention from beginning to end. If it were mine I would consider reversing the order of the last two lines to end on:
For your beauty I become your Nosferatu
Turning away I shall deface your image.

which leaves an a threat hanging in the air, which you may or may not want.

Kind regards,
John

Author's Reply:
Hi John, many thanks for taking a look.

Yeah, I like the idea of the added threat by reversing the last two lines, never thought of that.

Cheers.

Si:-)

Lare on 06-03-2006
POSTER GIRL
Hi Si...wow...what a powerful piece, here. The frustration...the rejection...and all of the ingredients/emotions involved...I especially liked "I fell in love with your pane-glass image"...this is very, very good imagery...very well done...

Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare,

Thanking you for the wonderful comment, I appreciate you taking the time to read.

Thank you.

Si:-)

Jolen on 10-03-2006
POSTER GIRL
Si,
I think this is a dark and foreboding piece, but very well done. I like to see you trying new things. This style suits you very well. More, please?

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

Glad you enjoyed this darker piece.

As for more...you'll have to wait and see...

Ta again.

Si:-)


BOBBLEHAT JOE (posted on: 24-02-06)
Take the time to look at someone, they can seem different to their appearance.

Watching and thinking This transient being of the roadside Attire and features wrinkled in time co-operation Thinking and watching I see a man with an air of refinement A swagger of self importance in those battered old shoes Did he turn his back on the world? His head still held high and a knowing twinkle in his eye Or did the world turn its back on him? Before I can ask, like the rubbish around him, he just blows away And I find myself asking Tell me your life, tell me your tale For I feel the need to know... Just who are you...bobblehat Joe SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for BOBBLEHAT JOE
Romany on 24-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Nice work Eddie!

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Si:-)


Dargo77 on 24-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Si, really like the way you have written this. Of course he could have been anything in an earlier time...and like you, I also would like to know his past.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading, commenting and the rate too.

Si:-)

Jen_Christabel on 24-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Great piece Eddie, I enjoyed this very much.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer,

Ta for stopping bt and having a look, glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 24-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Si, I like this, especially,

Attire and features wrinkled in time co-operation

Bobblehat Joe rates a 10 from me. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Yeah, I liked that line too, I wanted to convey his total appearance without going too over the top.

Thanks for reading, commenting and the rate.

Si:-)

littleditty on 24-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Well written Si - 'Before I can ask, like the rubbish around him, he just blows away' - You've got the transient in this and i imagine that most people have felt the same about a Bobblehat Joe - or some passing stranger. Nice xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi there LD,

Ta for stopping by.

Funny how people look or act when you don't expect them to act that way...never judge a book by its cover.

Glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Kat on 24-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Hi Si

This is a very effective poem - great work!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat,

Thanking you for taking a look and commenting.

Si:-)

Sunken on 24-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Take a bow young Eddie of Solo fame. If this isn't nibbed I'll eat my hat. I prepared one earlier from a tasty recipe book entitled, 'Hats off to cooking'. I've gone for a shortbread baseball-cap design that will easily blend in to my urban surroundings. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
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n

Hovis 4 - Swindon 2

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

You want to make sure that it doesn't rain, although shortbread is a hard biscuit type it is suseptable to extreme sogginess and would/could make you look a tad silly. Maybe, and this is only a suggestion, maybe a cracker might be in order...say, a hardtack. As you know these get harder with time so would last in all types of weather conditions.

Many thanks for reading and commenting and for thinking that it is nibbable.

Si:-)

Gerry on 24-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Simon, I liked this--well written...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

Pleased you enjoyed reading this.

Thanks.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 25-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Well observed, Eddie - there are plenty of these characters about, unless, of course, there's really only one and he moves around like **** off a shovel. This is done with sympathy and understanding, and it leaves a warm glow. Very well done.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

It could be just one guy lol.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

uppercase on 26-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Very nice, I like to imagine what their lives were like before they became who they are now...love erma

Author's Reply:
Hello Erma,

Glad you liked my piece to a man of the streets.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

teifii on 28-02-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
I liked this one. I suppose we all take too much for ge=ranted about others, going on outward appearance to quickly.
Before I can ask, like the rubbish around him, he just blows away is particularly telling to my mind.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff,

Thank you for taking a look and the kind comment.

Glad you enjoyed reading.

Si:-)

Leila on 01-03-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Si I enjoyed this, nicely done...L

Author's Reply:
Hi Leila,

Ta for reading and commenting.

Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Bradene on 01-03-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Really well written and expressed Si one of your best I think thoroughly deserving the nib. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much Val for reading, commenting and rating!

And for thinking it is one of my best!

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Abel on 02-03-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Yes indeed...all is never what it seems with us humans. Said with such compassion, and so wonderfully. Fine write, Si.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Hi Ward,

Many thanks for taking a look, reading and commenting...oh, and the rate too!

So pleased that you find this a good piece.

Cheers.

Si:-)

Jolen on 02-03-2006
BOBBLEHAT JOE
Wooooooooooo HOOOOOOOOOO Look at you go Si,
Number one on the most read list, and a nib, and a GREAT piece of work. I love it! Congratulations!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hiya girl!

Ta very much my dear for having a look at my bobblehat Joe and for the generous rate!

Glad that you liked it.

Si:-) All smiles.


BLOOD TEARS (posted on: 03-02-06)
The pain of splitting up

My street of one-way love concludes at ditched-ville Retracing my steps. I pass Candle lit dinners and dancing Passion filled nights and sensuous kisses Clinging together in snow filled wonderland, giggling Smiling. Smiling togethersmiling to self Recalling holidays, bare breasts in the surf Sunbathing now in cold moon rays, I surf the bottle to drown memories Your spear of rejection pierces my aching heart And yet again, I cry a thousand blood tears Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for BLOOD TEARS
Kat on 03-02-2006
BLOOD TEARS
Hi Si

This is good, fav part:

'Recalling holidays, bare breasts in the surf
Sunbathing now in cold moon rays...'

Cheers

Kat :o)




Author's Reply:
Hi Kat,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 03-02-2006
BLOOD TEARS
Si, this is a paiful retracing of steps. My fav is the same as Kat's fav.

Hope it's not real for you, matie. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Pleased to you let you know that its not real for me 🙂

Ta for having a look and reading.

Si:-)


Sunken on 04-02-2006
BLOOD TEARS
The last three lines nail it for me Mr. Solo of Eddie fame. Top write, as ever. Take care and spare change.

s
u
n
k
e
n


Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken, thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

Glad that you enjoyed it!

Si:-)


TIGHTROPE (posted on: 27-01-06)
Clowning around with love...

Two individuals with a common emotion Both at opposite ends of a high wire love Before we can hold, join and be as one Gingerly the task of foot over foot begins Swaying with fear and passion we move One step Two steps Three steps Like a predator of the air the trapeze swoops I wobble powerless as he plucks her away Watching her nestled in his arms so strong Crying as he soars with my dancer of the air I fall from lofty perch to land in net of misery One step Two steps Three steps Leaving the big top, shuffling sadly in big shoes My painted smile hides a broken hearted clown SIMON MURPHY 2006
Archived comments for TIGHTROPE
red-dragon on 27-01-2006
TIGHTROPE
You have painted a wonderful picture in my mind, Si, of the broken hearted clown who has seen his lady love swept off her feet. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Just be-careful you don't go outside in the rain with that image in your mind...it may run.

Si:-)

Gerry on 27-01-2006
TIGHTROPE
Simon, I liked this; well done...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Gerry,

Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Kat on 28-01-2006
TIGHTROPE
This is great, Si - enjoyed!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat,

Ta for having a look, so pleased that you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)

Sunken on 28-01-2006
TIGHTROPE
Love this young Eddie of Solo fame. Imaginatively melancholy, a rare mix. Well bloody done.

s
u
n
k
e
n

tomorrow he resists arrest

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk,

Many thanks to you for your comment and rate.

Glad that you enjoyed it.

You only want to resist arrest cos you like the feel of the batons...

Si:-)

Apolloneia on 31-01-2006
TIGHTROPE
very nice

Author's Reply:
Why thank you!

Si:-)


STAGE FRIGHT (posted on: 16-01-06)
Maybe this writing lark isn't such a good idea after all!

Walking, sightless, meanderings of verse on parchment of surreal obsession This road of idiom produced of hand and mind in sanctuary of photon seclusion To shamelessly flaunt my work unto others was something I cherished and yearned Observations of good and bad, waxes and wanes like the phases of the moon Eventually my labours begin to make me a versifier of noticeable merit A leaf of chosen, calculated verbs and metaphors is now displayed, not for just a selected few But for a wider, paying audience Splashing out on scribbling and nonsense with my name emblazoned like a fiery comet Copyright Simon Murphy This and this alone makes people sit up and... Take noticegood Take noticebad ''Ah, yes Simon Murphy, I have heard of his work and to be truthful it's'' I will leave it to you to fill in the blank But life is good I'm pleased to tell Conversations on tin-can and string telephones confirm that I'm a poet on the up Yet to be honest and honest I wish to be This renown I have reached has made me fearful For on this journey to be somebody and been asked to perform and to write... ...has left me suffering from a serious case of Indigestion and stage fright! Simon Murphy 2006
Archived comments for STAGE FRIGHT
Hazy on 16-01-2006
STAGE FRIGHT
Great thought provoking piece! Why do we do it? I know for a fact I couldn't read my own work to an audience (except on the audio thingy).

One weeny thing, I think 'been' in the penultimate line would read better as 'being'. Might just be me though...

Take care.

Hazy x

Author's Reply:
Hi Hazy,

Thanks for reading.

Not got a clue why we do it, its like we crave the attention yet shit ourselves when we get it...strange.

And yes you could be right 'being'.

Ta again.

Si:-)

PS Just noticed its got a nibby...THANK YOU nibby person!!

RoyBateman on 17-01-2006
STAGE FRIGHT
Is it a good thing, folks?
Oh, no, it isn't! (Oh, yes it is! It's behind you!)
Good stuff, Si - you're going to perform then, eh? Sooner you than me - I can't even manage the audio thingy on uka! I know the feelings that you express so well here, though - very neatly expressed. Oh, and good luck!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy thank you for having a look.



I have performed at my local school for the kids, sorted out a lesson (well three) and taught them about poetry...yeah I know, they must be mad. No wonder the education system is down the tubes letting misfits and poetry retards like me stick my nose in lol.



But it went really well and there is talk of me doing some readings to a paid group with a wine, cheese and poetry evening...sounds crap I wonder if I can get out of it.



Glad you liked it.

Si:-)




Ginger on 17-01-2006
STAGE FRIGHT
I was in an amateur dramatics once and right before I was due on stage, I had to pee so bad. Apparently that happens, nerves and all. But after I'd gone, I still was desperate to go! So bare this in mind if you're going on stage!
Nice piece, deserving of the nibby thingy.
Lisa

Author's Reply:
Luckily I work at the school so can get my hands on some 'clinical waste bags'. If I feel the urge I'll pop behind the piano and Bobs-ya-uncle...

Thank you Lisa for taking the time to read and comment. I appriciate it very much.

Si:-)

Jolen on 30-01-2006
STAGE FRIGHT
Hi Si,
I'm so thrilled to see this nibbed and it's a great piece, I know just what you mean here. What a great piece for us all to share. I have missed your work!
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

Thank you kindly for popping in and having a read, glad that you enjoyed it.

Thanks for the rate too!

Si:-)


VISTA (posted on: 16-01-06)
Something new, something different, something free form...have changed the word 'crap'

Land bare as a newborn; awaits the first breath Wailing the arrival of spring
Archived comments for VISTA
Warhorse on 16-01-2006
VISTA
hi There i love haikhu and thyis is amongst the best i have seen traditional in spirit and evokes the longing for the rtn of Spring rgds mike

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for your time in reading this Mike.

This is the first piece of Haiku I have every attempted so not too sure if I had pulled it off. It seems easy but its not.

Thank you for your encouragement, I may do more.

Si:-)

Romany on 16-01-2006
VISTA
I think you should edit your intro - this is certainly not crap! This is very good imo; I like the idea of the land wailing the arrival of spring, like a newborn baby might wail for sustenance, which you have of course referred us to. Excellent!

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

As I posted to Mike I had no confidence in this piece what so ever!
Never done one before in my life so wasn't too sure of the outcome.

Thanks for dropping by and the great comment will look to having another go at writing some more.

Si:-)


Kat on 16-01-2006
VISTA
Hi Si

This is really well done - great work!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat,

Thank you for having a read and leaving a comment.

Glad that you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)


Hazy on 16-01-2006
VISTA
Hiya Si 🙂

I thought the idea behind this one was great and worked really well. The only negative is that a 'strict form' haiku is 17 syllables, 5 in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in the last. 'Free form' haiku can vary from that, so it might be worth changing your intro (which I agree you should change, too and remove 'crap'!) to say it's free form.

I've only managed one haiku before ('And The Winner Is...') which is now one of my fave writes. Yes, they are bloody tricky (I've never managed another one since!) but you've certainly got the right idea. Works really well! And yes, they do traditionally feature the seasons, so spot on.

Nice one!

Take care.

Hazy x

Author's Reply:
Hi Hazy,

Thanks for taking the time to have a look Hazy.

I knew that Haiku had something to do with syllables but to be honest although it seemed a simple undertaking, I was well out of my depth and I don't mind who knows.

I'm glad that you think it has something about it but I doubt I will have another go. 🙂

Si:-)



tai on 16-01-2006
VISTA
Hi Eddie, great Japanese haiku, no need to count syllables. A wonderful expression of natures glorious dawning of a new season.

Author's Reply:
Hi Tai,

Thanking you for reading and for thinking its good.

I thought I would just make a complete hash of it, if I'm to be truthful.

Thanks again and for the rate!

Si:-)

littleditty on 17-01-2006
VISTA
Dear Si - nice haiku - nature and the seasons especially apt for this form - you could also make it traditional strict form 5/7/5 easily (eg Line1:A/The 3:Wails/Wailing the coming) - and it sounds nice that way too - a snapshot you have - and an unusual, original, expanding idea to see winter described as a newborn awaiting the first breath -cool!

Author's Reply:
Hi there LD,

I like your ideas, may try some more as the feedback has been really positive...so far lol.

I'm glad that you found it a good piece.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 17-01-2006
VISTA
Si, what a great Haiku... so very well done.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo,

Thanks mate for reading and commenting.

Glad that you think its well done and that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

PS Thanks for the rate too.

shackleton on 17-01-2006
VISTA
Hi Si. The word 'wailing' in this context is a master stroke. I wondered where in the haiku you originally had the word, 'shit' - then I read through the comments and realised the truth. Enjoyed your haiku. Take care now.

Author's Reply:
Hi Shack,

Thanks for having a look at my one and only attempt (to date) Haiku piece.

Glad you thought it worked.

Si:-)


SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND (posted on: 02-01-06)
Life is no hourglass of joy...

My existence begins in a singular granular form Smashed and worn throughout the aeons Diminutive, inconsequential waiting upon life's beach Ages elapse and I compressslowly, maturely Wisely I arise into a grey, cold monolith Battered by storms of love and hate Eroded by reality yet shaped by imagination Ocean now claims me, sinking, drowninglost Rounded by events I tumble through latter years Back to beginnings upon life's beach Singular, granular Alone POEM AND PICTURE SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Elfstone on 02-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
I liked the poem eddiesoslo; there is a relentlessness and unavoidable quality in it which I respond to, but it was your intro line which grabbed me - "Life is no hourglass of joy...". How true - and is there another poem hidden in there?

Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Hi Elfstone,

Thank you for dropping by and commenting.

I glad that you enjoyed it and as for the other poem? Not thought about it but now you mention it...maybe just maybe.

Ta again.
Si:-)

Gerry on 02-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Simon, well done with this--only short put it's all there.

Best wishes for 2006

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry, same to you and yours in 2006.

Thanks for reading, glad that you think it's all there...bit I'm not most of the time lol.

Si:-)

teifii on 02-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
I like this very much. Suits my natural gloomy tendencies.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Thanks Daff,

Don't be gloomy, well not all the time.

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Jolen on 02-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Si,
This is a really wonderful piece, my friend. It sure brings that feeling of isolation home in a big way, but almost building from that granular piece. I really enjoyed this and think it's worthy of a nib!
Happy New Year to you and yours.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hello Jolen, I'm so pleased that you feel this is a good piece, and for your kindness in thinking it deserves a nib.

Glad you enjoyed my little mineral canto.

Si:-)

littleditty on 03-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Very well written - strong, clear lines, nibbable, classy intro line could be line one - one of your best i think - did you hear me? VERY WELL WRITTEN!!! oNE OF YOUR VERY BESTEST!!!! Agreed with Elf's words - xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
What can I say LD...thank you very much for your confidence in my writing and the piece.

And thanking you for thinking its nibbable that is most kind.

Thanks very much for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Sunken on 03-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Ya know, young Eddie of Solo fame, I find it hard to trust coffee granules? The powdered kind of coffee is good or coffee out of a machine... but granules? I dunno, just doesn't seem right to me. Anyway, coffee aside, this is a damn fine poem. Thanks. Take care and a shovel.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he's made from cardboard

Author's Reply:
What about ground coffee? Much better than granular, I think its because there freeze dried, makes em kind of smug, they think there special.

Anyway, thanks for dropping by and the nice comment.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 04-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Great idea, Si - the eternal evolution...everything comes back to the same place eventually. Well put, too - nice one!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Thanks for reading and yep, we all start the same and finish the same.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

MiddleEarthNet on 05-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
I like the way this described the relentless movement of sand through time and it continuous cycle.

Author's Reply:
Thank you MiddleEarthNet for your comment.

I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

littleditty on 05-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Gets better - like this one a lot :O) xxx 😀

Author's Reply:
That's great LD that you came back twice!

I'm really chuffed that you enjoyed it so much.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 07-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Si, one of your best IMO. Sorry I am late on this one, but a Fav. Read for me.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Thanking you so much for reading and commenting that you find this one of my best.

Much appreciate your rate and for picking it as a fave.

Thanks for your support.

Si:-)

Jen_Christabel on 07-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Very enjoyable read and so very true. Life does so often arode us to nothing.
Jen :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jen,

Ta very much for reading and leaving a comment.

Si:-)


Bradene on 07-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
Clever this Si I like it, Happy new year Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

This is one of pieces that I didn't have to think too hard about...it just happened.

Thanks for having a look the rate and for thinking its clever.

Si:-)

Leila on 08-01-2006
SAND TO BOULDER TO PEBBLE TO SAND
I liked this very much, thoughtful and well written...L

Author's Reply:
Hi Leila,

Many thanks for popping in a reading.

I glad that you liked it.

Si:-)


WHISPERS (posted on: 26-12-05)
A love poem...

''I love you'' ''I want you'' ''I need you'' Words as soft crushed velvet pierce and explore my consciousness Searching for that exquisite key of surrenderof total submission ''I love you'' Mind ''I want you'' Body ''I need you'' Soul Lost in the liberty of emotion Lost in the moment of existence Lost in the words of you The solitary thing existing to me is to echo the words that dance around and within me ''I love you'' I whisper ''I want you'' I whisper ''I need you'' I whisper POEM AND PICTURE SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for WHISPERS
Jolen on 26-12-2005
WHISPERS
~sighs~

I happen to believe that a whisper is more effective than a shout and this one is all of that. What a romantic you are when you want to be dear Si!

You keep on whispering and I'll just swoon......*bats eyes and swoons*

Great to see you writing again!!!!
blessings,
Jolen (shush, quiet please)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

Ta for reading, I'm glad that you enjoyed my litttle romantic piece.

Si:-)

Sunken on 27-12-2005
WHISPERS
That Jolen is such a tart - I'd be wary of her, Eddie of Solo fame, if I were you. Having said that, she does have a point. But do you really want me swooning and batting my eyelids on your sub? I can't bat for long anyway, I always lose my contact lenses. As the tart says - blessings. Don't worry, she won't see this. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

his heart is a shreddie of wheat fame

Author's Reply:
Jolen...a...tart!?...Yeah...but please feel free to swoon away if you like, I won't tell a soul.

Ta for having a look.

Si:-)

RoyBateman on 28-12-2005
WHISPERS
Very effective, Si - something a bit different this time, eh? This worked very well, but don't expect any swooning from me...now that WOULD be going a bit too far...

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy, hope you had a merry Xmas and Santa brought you nice things.

Not been on for a while as I have been busy so there will be loads of pieces for me to catch up on.

Thanks for having a look, not been in a writing mood for ages, did a piece about winter for school, giving a talk on poetry in the New Year...not looking forward to that.

The other piece is this one to my wife.

I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

woodbine on 28-12-2005
WHISPERS
A thought provoking piece to make a chap ponder. I owe you a favour.

Best wishes,

John

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Thanking you sir for taking the time to read and comment.

As for the favour, send me a bottle of whiskey and we'll call it even.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 28-12-2005
WHISPERS
Hi Si, this has grown on me, like its repetitiveness - it's addictive.
If we're lucky, we get to say these things (and mean them) The line 'Lost in the liberty of emotion' jumps out at me. It exactly that.
Ann


Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Ta for stopping by and having a read.

Glad that it grew on you and that you found it addictive.

Thanks again.
Si:-)

BlueyedSoul on 28-12-2005
WHISPERS
Hello eddie, i really loved your little romantic poem, but then anytime i can get a man to whisper i love you, i want you, i need you...is ok by me.

~BlueyedSoul

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and commenting. Oh, and the rate too.

I'm pleased that you enjoyed my poem.

Si:-)


Lare on 01-01-2006
WHISPERS
As if observing the poet within the poet...you really do carry a romantic torch with a nice gentle, subtle flame...fueled by perfect wording...very nice touch...very nicely done...

Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare,

Thank you for your kind comment.

I was so pleased to read how you thought the wording worked.

Thank you again for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

tai on 07-01-2006
WHISPERS
This is beautiful Si, In the second section, should that be I love 'your' body, mind etc.? Just a thought. However you choose, it is a beautiful expression of love. 10 from Tai, wishing you a love filled New Year

Author's Reply:
Hi Tai,

Thank you for the lovely comment.

And as for your question...No it shouldn't be 'your'. I wanted to leave it 'clipped'.

Thank you for thinking its beautiful.

Si:-)


WHY DO I WRITE? (posted on: 07-11-05)
Sat at the computer, fag in one hand and a large drink in the other, I mused. Why do I write? And I came up with this piece of nonsense.

Asking myself: Why do I write? Answer: Because I enjoy it. I have no aspirations to be a great author and to be recognised the world over. So, that begs the question: Why do I post on this site? If I have no aspirations to be recognised, why do I need the recognition from a writing community and the 'world wide web'? Answer: Because I need it. I need it, and this may seem a tad silly, for this is my legacy. To spread a name, my name. When I'm long dead and there are just fading memories, there will be: Dog-eared photographs with places and events. Forlorn and forgotten. So this is my legacy, a few scraps of words on paper. Not much to say that I was here. But it's enough for me. And maybe, just maybe, someone will read in a hundred years from now and say: ''I wonder why he wrote the things I now read.'' My name may be recognised as a guy who wrote some interesting pieces. Or. Maybe, just maybe, my name and work will be forgotten on dusty shelves and digital archives. Who knows? Who cares? A moment of clarity in an uncertain world? Or. A moment of paranoia in an uncertain man? I'll leave it for you to decide. I'm off for a fag and another double JD. SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for WHY DO I WRITE?
Jen_Christabel on 07-11-2005
WHY DO I WRITE?
I can relate to this - in fact I am posting a piece on writing myself shortly (it's not philos though). Why do we write? It's a question I have been asked, and my simple answer is - because I enjoy it :o)
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer,

Thank you for looking and reading.

I'm glad that your conclusion was because 'you enjoy it'. I should have stuck with that myself but 'no' the booze had got me thinking, so, nonsense was sure to coming spilling forth.

Si:-)

tai on 07-11-2005
WHY DO I WRITE?
That is your crappiest poem to date Si! Stop drinking for poesies sake!lol (just jesting) Very profound. Smiling sweetly, Tai 8 for a nice try!

Author's Reply:
Hi Tai,

What do you mean stop drinking? Actually I hardly drink at all, maybe I should lay off as I come up with this nonsense when I do lol.

Si:-)

blackdove on 07-11-2005
WHY DO I WRITE?
I think it's for the permanence of having something you have made. Like a carpenter or an builder. You have a piece of work you created.
I'm sure that's why I write.
And yes, we all ponder that question but I would say to you..
less of JDs and more of the writing - please.
Jem x

Author's Reply:
You know since I wrote this I haven't written a single thing, granted I have been busy but still...

Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment Jem.

Si:-)

Flash on 07-11-2005
WHY DO I WRITE?
I rite lotts kos i'm ded goud at itt.

I post on UKA, cos there's loads of quality crumpet to banter with...now is that shallow? Erm...hang on that is shallow... tell you what forget i was here Simon and we'll just say a fiver shall we?

xxx
Flash

Author's Reply:
Seeing as its you Flash a fiver will do...

And I'm sure that all the girlies on this site will be thrilled to hear that you consider them 'quality crumpet' lol.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)


RoyBateman on 09-11-2005
WHY DO I WRITE?
You've hit a nerve here, Si - the quest for remembrance, I think, is the underlying reason why most people do the things they do. Even notoriety is better than being forgotten - at least, that thought drives some sick minds. Yes, we all write for recognition and for our own pleasure...maybe not in that order, but so what? I'm happy pottering along here, and as long as everyone else is - great! The sum of human happiness is increased. No mean feat.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy, thanks for stopping by.

I'm only just starting to catch up...loads of stuff to read.

Your spot on that we all would like to be remembered in some way or other.

Enough of my booze riddled ramblings, like you I'll potter around and not sway.

Si:-)

Jolen on 20-11-2005
WHY DO I WRITE?
Hi Si,

I'm back and I'm reading.. You! This was so wonderful for many reasons.. Too many seem to think that one can only write for one reason or another, and I feel we all have different needs, reasons and voices, and that is wonderful for me. I know many can relate to this, and that is a good thing, to give someone something they appreciate... And relate well too.

Nice to see your work again..
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
OMG Jolen PLEASE PLEASE forgive me!

You posted it months ago and I've only just noticed, how very rude of me...sorry.

Thank you for your lovely comment, I'm sure many can relate and maybe they will look at their writing and ask...why?

Si:-)...sorry again...*wink* we...*wink wink*still mates?


I know we are really...heh heh.

Poet on 03-04-2006
WHY DO I WRITE?
Not nonsense no! I thought this was truly from the heart (wounded heart?). No actually it's real and reads like you mean it...tipsy or not! But if you see it afterwords and feel ANY shame for having written it...maybe you just touched your own nerve?
Just having a bit of fun Eddie...nice (self) interview.

Author's Reply:
Hi Poet,

Most kind to read and comment.

I'm glad that you saw it for what it was...a real bit of writing about how I felt that night.

I did think it was just a nonsense piece but having re-read it, I feel it was an honest piece.

Thanks again for taking an interest.

Si:-)


POETIC JUSTICE (posted on: 24-10-05)
They take the piss and they can scorn but when a poet pulls, he/she is gonna get laid!

Who are you to criticise my work? One foot resting lazily on chromed rimmed stool Jumper two sizes too big, and yes, dare I say ita black beret I sit in clich poetic garb with a pint of treacle to To feel To express To spread my joy to surly bastards like you You pipe back with quips about using a different kind of literature The one handed, glossy magazine variety Archived comments for POETIC JUSTICE
RoyBateman on 24-10-2005
POETIC JUSTICE
To answer the last question first...no reason at all! A gentleman a) keeps his socks on and b) comes second. (Or third, if he's lucky...)
Nice one, Si - the poetic nerd wins in the end. What else matters?

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

The poetic nerd certainly does win and so he should.

Thanks for reading.

Si:-)



tai on 24-10-2005
POETIC JUSTICE
Poetry in motion Si!lol I agree with Roy whole heartedly.

9 from me.

grinning, in a poetic sort of way.

Tai

Author's Reply:
Hi Tai,

Thanks for reading and for grinning in a poetic sort of way.

Glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

karenuk on 25-10-2005
POETIC JUSTICE
I loved the whole 'middle finger to the world' feeling about this 🙂
Karen x

Author's Reply:
Cheers Karen,

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 25-10-2005
POETIC JUSTICE
Si, you tell em' mate...and you did! Loved the 'black beret', really made me laugh.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Glad that you liked my beret and the poem.

Cheers for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Gerry on 26-10-2005
POETIC JUSTICE
Simon, this made me smile; wish I was a poet...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Glad it made you smile Gerry,

Maybe I'll have a go at reading my poetry at a UKA live event, what do you think?

Si:-)

Sunken on 27-10-2005
POETIC JUSTICE
Hiya Eddie of Solo fame. Isn't it warm? It's like summer. Anyway, that's not important right now. Great piece - crap comment. I would say that poetic justice has been done.

s
u
n
k
e
n



Author's Reply:
Hello Sunk of verbally funny fame.

Firstly: Yes it his been very warm.

Secondly: Thanks for the comment.

Si:-)

Jolen on 05-11-2005
POETIC JUSTICE
Ohhhhhhhhh Si! all that and a bag of whips baby! You are so right and most assurdedly the man should not come *ahem first... I sort of like it when he waits his turn til about the 3rd or 4th round... But that's not a law, just a wish.lmao.

Loved this and oh yes, poetic justice and then some. Great little poem you got here, sexy! Now, for the important question.. What ya wearin? lol

loved this to my toes, yes, those of the curled up fame. lmao....

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

Glad that you found this a sexy piece.

As to what I'm wearing? Nothing apart from my black beret 😉

And I never come first always last place for me.

Si:-)


teifii on 02-01-2006
POETIC JUSTICE
Ah that's telling him!. My first good laugh of the year.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff, glad it gave you a giggle.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Jolen on 26-03-2006
POETIC JUSTICE
Hi Si!
I'm going to be a very naughty girl and teepee the uk..... And since I adore you so, I'm starting here, and well, cuz I know you have a great sense of humor. LOL

This isn't about your poetry, I'm just in need of some devilish fun........

Image hosting by Photobucket


Author's Reply:
I hope that loo roll is extra soft...I have a very delicate bottom;-)

Bad girl...hope you had fun?

Si:-)

Romany on 26-03-2006
POETIC JUSTICE
Bit different from the other stuff I've read of yours. I really like this; poetry with attitude.
No reason at all why the man should come *ahem first; last is the winner sometimes, eh? Better still, arriving simultaneously has its postiive aspects too. Apparently.
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany,

Glad you liked this, as for coming first, last or simultaneously...I have no idea what your on about 😉

Ta for reading.

Si:-)


INTEREST FREEOR SO I THOUGHT (posted on: 21-10-05)
Can we get love on credit?

That breathtaking day when we said, equally 'I do' Signatures flourish on loves binding accord Our cooling off period of seven nuptial days Came, and went Yet, your adore was far too costly for me to repay And then on one grey uneventful day... A knocking on my aching heart The repo man had come to collect SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for INTEREST FREEOR SO I THOUGHT
tai on 21-10-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
Hi Si, Yep! love always collects it's due. You lucky man you.

9 from me

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:
Thanking you Tai for stopping by and having a gander.

Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

shackleton on 21-10-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
That repo man always comes calling, Simon. Enjoyed your poem. Bye now.

Author's Reply:
Hi Shacks,

Many thanks for taking a look and I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)

red-dragon on 21-10-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
Hi Si - a touching write. Our hearts are all at risk from the repo man, especially if we've sunk all our emotions in them. ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann,

Ta for looking at my piece and commenting.

Si:-)

Elfstone on 22-10-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
Good poem eddiesolo - it says a lot in a few well chosen lines. I think there may be more effective ways of setting this out on the page - might be worth your while having another look at it. I enjoyed this in spite of it being sad. Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Hi Elfstone,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

I did play around with the format to see what it looked it, like you said I suppose it could be changed.

Si:-)


potleek on 22-10-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
YUP...you should know now that every thing comes with a price even love....the day you say I do is just the first instalment, you pay for it all the time after that...lol...Tony

Oh by the way I did like your poem

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony,

Cheers for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

teifii on 25-10-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
All the more poignant for being so concise. Very good.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Thanks Daff for taking a look and commenting.

Glad that you enjoyed reading it.
Si:-)

littleditty on 28-10-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
Hi Si -liked it -clever poem, concise - reckon you wouldn't miss 'Came and went' - unless i missed something :o! -it reads well without it i thought. Enjoyed -thank you Si xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

Glad that you enjoyed the read and that you thought it was clever.

I'll have to re-read it to see if it needs the 'came and went' but if it reads ok without, then so be it.

Ta again for you input.

Si:-)

littleditty on 28-10-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
...with a comma after 'Yet,..' 😉 x

Author's Reply:
Hi Ld,

Yeah it does need a comma after yet. Thanks for that.

Si:-)

Jolen on 05-11-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
Is love ever interest free? I don't think so, but this was a very poignant piece and quite moving with such few words. Each one worked over time. And gave us a very real feeling. Well done again Si.

Always a pleasure to read your work,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Jolen, thank you for reading and I'm so pleased that you found it a pleasure....the work I mean lol.

Ta for stopping by.

Si:-)


Jolen on 05-11-2005
INTEREST FREE…OR SO I THOUGHT
Now Si, of course the work, what else would I be referring to? LOL shush!

Author's Reply:
I have no idea what else you could be referring to...

And my lips are sealed about what ever it is.

Si:-)


FILAMENT LAMENT (posted on: 17-10-05)
As I watch my filament unravel it reminds me of Dandelion seeds And just like them, my love just blows away

Gossamer thread drifts upon breezes of pleasure and dreams A tug 'o' war between currents filled with spice and passion Rain lashed, thunder clapped, it never wanes in electrified peril Yet, like all good tales this one ends in sorrow A typhoon of pretence arrives on these shores of ecstasy Growling hurricane throws lies to smash and wreck homes Reduced to caricature childishness, picking at bodies once adored As I watch my filament unravel it reminds me of Dandelion seeds And just like them, my love just blows away SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for FILAMENT LAMENT
Warhorse on 17-10-2005
FILAMENT LAMENT
Hi there,
this poem is awesome to a loving heart
it's image of love fading and blowing away is passionate and

exceptional in every way well done

regards

mike

Author's Reply:
Hi Mike

Why thank you for your comment, rate and for nominating it!

All I can say is thank you so much, I appreciate your words and your time.

Si:-)


Jolen on 17-10-2005
FILAMENT LAMENT
Bloody Hell Si!
I am impressed again and see that I have to take you seriously now as a poet.. This is filled with amazing imagery and powerful language that portrays a love eroding all too well.

Beautifully done.. "Si...he's not just a perv anymore" lol

hugs,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen,

I knew you would be impressed with this one, I know how to get to the ladies. *struts his stuff*

Glad that you really enjoyed reading it and for the great comment.

Si:-)

Gerry on 17-10-2005
FILAMENT LAMENT
Simon, well done here --this was good poetic writing...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry,

So glad that you found this a good write.

Cheers mate for taking a look.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 17-10-2005
FILAMENT LAMENT
Si, I also am very impressed with this one. The nomination is well deserved and surely a Great Read is in order. Power to your elbow.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Thank you for the kind comment and am so pleased that your impressed.

And many thanks for thinking the nomination is deserved and as for the great read? We'll have to wait and see.

Si:-)

littleditty on 19-10-2005
FILAMENT LAMENT
wow Si 🙂 i think this looks great -i'll need to re-read when more awake - not on line much/regularly at the mo, but you have an interesting one here -i'll be back :O) xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi LD,
Thanks for reading and commenting.

I'm glad that you think it looks great.

Si:-)

littleditty on 19-10-2005
FILAMENT LAMENT
came back -the sounds and word choices are the bomb matey -what a cracker - super visual too - i love those dandelion clocks - and i think this is one of your very best. There is something missing though......oh no, my mistake - can you see the invisible nib? Strange times we are living in xxxld x :O)

Author's Reply:
LD what can I say but...thank you.

I appreciate that you think that this is one of my best.

Yours all overwhelmed.

Si:-)


tai on 22-10-2005
FILAMENT LAMENT
Si, this is a very potent lost love poem. I see it has been nominated, and so it deserves to be. Very deep, as is the trough of lost love.

Well done.

10 from me

kiss better! not that you need it.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:
Tai,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I knew I could rely on you to let me know if this was truly dire.

And thank you for the rate and the kiss better.

Si:-)


REFLECTIONS (posted on: 10-10-05)
Many years ago I went through a very turbulent time of worthlessness and doubt.

This piece is just a snippet of what I felt.

Contains strong language.

Si:-)

''Just who are you?'' Staring back, the answernothing ''You're nobody.'' I offer Still a silent, unrepentant rejoin ''Fuck you!'' I vent angrily As quiet as death he just combs his hair ''You're a wanker my friend!'' He smiles back ignorantly ''I hate you!'' I cry ''I know.'' He replies softly SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for REFLECTIONS
tai on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
lol...now this is funny Si, I am sure many many will relate!

Giggling

Tai

Author's Reply:
Hi Tai, thanking you dear lady for reading and commenting.

Nothing fancy in this piece just as you see it and I'm sure you're right many will relate.

Thanks for the 10 as well.

Si:-)

littleditty on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Hi Si - they say while you are still talking things through -there is hope for the relationship! I found this to be sad and clever - the 'i know' and 'softly' - both sinister and reassuring - interesting write Sir Si xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hello LD,

Ta for reading and the kind comments, I appreciate that you found this to be sad and clever.

I wrote it, but never actually read it...does that make any sense?
Blind as a mirror in a black room.

Yours Sir Si:-)

RoyBateman on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
I reckon we all know how you felt - hopefully we get through it and obviously you did too - thank goodness! Bleak and caustic - just the right tone, and for once the language was justified and not just slipped in to shock. Liked it a lot.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy,

Cheers for reading and commenting.

I was in two minds as to add the language or tone it down, but as you pointed out it fits with the piece.

Si:-)

Hazy on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Yep, related to this, Si. Wouldn't change a sausage.

- Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

- hahahaha

- Oi. Mirror. Stop laughing :'(

Hazy x
PS. I've already said it... I'm in a very strange mood today!

Author's Reply:
Hi Hazy,

Ta for reading and commenting.

And I don't think your strange...mad maybe but not strange.

Si:-)

woodbine on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
The comment box is playing up. It wouldn't take anything and then suddenly it started.

Your piece is a great set-up for that last line, which I at first I missed because a visiting cat was reaching up soliciting my attention. He likes rubbing his face aganst my piled up papers. But now I've seen it (the last line) and it all makes excellent sense and is funny.
Well done!
john (with cat)

Author's Reply:
Hi John and feline friend.

Many thanks for having a look.

I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)


Apolloneia on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Ha! I can relate to this very much. And as Hazy said "wouldn't change a sausage" :))

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic, thanks for reading.

Two ladies telling me not to mess with my sausage...so I won't.

Ta again.
Si:-)


Dargo77 on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Si, enjoyed this one to bits. I like the way you have written this.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Dargo, many thanks for taking the time to read and comment much appreciated.

So pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Claire on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Hi there hun, I'm glad to know I ain't the only one who does that! Great poem. ;^)

Author's Reply:
Hi Claire,

I think most of us have felt like this at some point.

Thank you for reading, commenting and the rate.

Si:-)

chrissy on 10-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Si, I found this strangely moving. I think you were talking to yourself.
I enjoyed this.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
Hi Chrissy,

Thank you for reading and I'm glad that the piece moved you.

Si:-)

Elfstone on 11-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
It just shows you how differently people react to poems. I found nothing remotely funny in this, just heart-rending. But then perhaps I'm wrong and colouring this with my own life experiences. In any case it is a good strong poem that, in a few words, encapsulates a kind of misery that many people go through. If I may make a suggestion, I think the layout could be altered subtly to good effect and also the punctuation, but if you're happy with it as it is just ignore me :-). Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Hi Elfstone,

Your so right that people find different views and meanings in poetry, that's why I like it.

You can't be wrong if the piece 'spoke' to you in a certain way and you got something from it.

Suggestions are never ignored, for if they are then you never learn.

Thank you for reading.

Si:-)

Jolen on 12-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Damn Baby,

Don't go all 'dark' on us...Si, this is most likely how we've all felt one time or another and talking through it helps sometimes. I know I talk to myself all the time, but then I am stark raving mad. lol..... just ask me, or myself, or I for that matter. A very well done and well presented poem. I used to write poetry and never read it, so I can relate to that quite well.

I sure hope you are feeling better now, but if not, you come see me or my picture and we'll get you straight in no time (Is that a pun? LOL)

hugs,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
This was a long time ago and I'm much happier now...see I'm grinning!

One would never say that a lady was losing her marbles, I'm much too polite for that.

And as for seeing your pic? I do on regular occasions...sigh.

Ta for reading Jolen I appreciate it very much.

Si...still grinning!!

ClareHill on 12-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
I found this to be bleak and insightful, and I am the same as Elfstone, I didn't find it humourous. Which is good, poetry is about more than words, about more than one meaning, it means whatever the reader thinks it means sometimes, which may be contradictory to what the writer meant.

Author's Reply:
Hi Clare,

Thank you for stopping by and reading.

I think that the reader is more important than the writer, the writer may have an idea about what he/she is wanting to get across, but its what the reader feels the piece has brought to them.

Hope it didn't come across as too depressing.

Si:-)

Bradene on 13-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Very revealing poem Si and very well executed. Well done Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val,

Thanking you for reading and commenting, glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Griffonner on 14-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
You have to love yourself, they say. Sometimes it isn't easy. Yet even trying shows intent. Intent is paramount. This confirmed all that for me. Very cleverly done, Si.

Author's Reply:
Hi Griff,

Thanks for looking and commenting.

Glad that you enjoyed reading.

Si:-)

BlueyedSoul on 15-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Depending on what mood i'm in this could be sad or funny ...then again it could be something I said to myself or some damn idiot that pissed me off......hehe...actually sounds like something i recently said to someone else.......i was having a bad day ok. (my attempt at laughing at myself).

All said, it was a interesting piece, revealing a bit of all of us at one time or another i'm sure.

Enjoyed the read.

~Cindy

Author's Reply:
Hi Cindy,

Many thanks for reading, commenting and rating.

I suppose it does depend how you feel at the time you read it. But like you said most will relate to this.

Thanks again.

Si:-)


JoB on 16-10-2005
REFLECTIONS
Very moving and bleak..
One suggestion, I would ease off on, or take out altogether, the adverbs (angrily, ignorantly, softly) to give it even more of a stark feel. You have a clear ability to 'show' with your writing, don't dilute it by 'telling' as well.
I guess what I'm saying is 'Fuck You!' sounds pretty angry all on its own
good read though,
Jo x

Author's Reply:
Hi Jo,

Thanking you for having a look.

I got Elfstone to re-write and that piece had more punctuation, but I do like the sound of leaving words out. May try it later.

Thanks again for your support.

Si:-)


Kazzmoss on 09-11-2005
REFLECTIONS
Oh Wow! I read first and it conjured up an image of myself 30 years ago sitting in front of the mirror staring at myself, I hate you....I hate me, and thumping myself on my cheekbone until it went purple. Very dark days and thank goodness never ever repeated.

Judging by the number of comments many people related to it. It was moving and sad and yes, I think funny too in a black kind of way. I listened then to you reading it (was it you?) and it became even more poignant and I loved that Yorkshire accent.

Really good, Si 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi kazzmoss,

Thank you for taking the time to have a look.

Your spot on, I think most people have suffered from this at one time or another hence the amount of comments.

And yes it was me doing the reading and I'm glad that you liked the Yorkshire accent 🙂

Thanks again.

Si:-)


A CLOCKWORK HEART (posted on: 07-10-05)
WIND ME UP AND AWAY I GO!!
A big thank you goes to Tori and Jim Mullan of Mullanium Jewelry for their kind permission in using the heart picture. This is a pendant made from recycled watch parts, all hand crafted and they look lovely.


Perpetual ticks ricochet from gilt edged kardia* Licentious tocks now quicken at the vista of you Entwined among love my mainspring tautens Losing only a fraction from kiss upon kiss Upon silky lipped kiss Pendulum of desire swings with second hand speed Infarction suddenly explodes as cogged teeth bite deep Suddenly, its over A chime-less adore now flaccid and still Waiting...timeless For your passion to wind my clockwork heart Picture used with kind permission Tori and Jim Mullan, enhanced by Simon Murphy Poem Simon Murphy 2005. *Kardia-Greek, meaning heart.
Archived comments for A CLOCKWORK HEART
Gerry on 2005-10-07 12:37:11
Re: A CLOCKWORK HEART
Simon, This made me smile--I suppose that is a different way to address this phenomenon 😉

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Gerry for reading. Yeah it is a tad different but thought bugger it...

Si:-)

karenuk on 10-07-2005
A CLOCKWORK HEART
Great use of language there. The repetition of the kiss worked well too.

Karen x

Author's Reply:
Hi Karen, many thanks for popping over and having a look. Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

PS Thanks for the rate too!


Sunken on 07-10-2005
A CLOCKWORK HEART
Ahhh... 'waiting... timeless for your passion to wind my clockwork heart'.
Classy stuff young Eddie. 10 from me, and I don't care who knows it. Well done on a timeless piece.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk, thanks for reading and commenting and the rate too!

Really pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Dargo77 on 08-10-2005
A CLOCKWORK HEART
Si, great piece of work, and so a 10 from me.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo, thank you for the kind comment and the rate too.

Pleased that you enjoyed reading.

Si:-)

littleditty on 08-10-2005
A CLOCKWORK HEART
i liked this Si -i will come back and read again - i wanted to add an 'and' at the start of line 2 - is that wrong of me? I wondered about punctuation, though i liked the clean, original lines and have a feeling i want to look carefully at your poem when i am with a clearer mind! - nice one Si xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi LD,

Ta for looking and commenting. I have had a look and can see that an 'and' would work. But to be honest I wanted to keep the lines separate. As for 'is that wrong of me' of course not, to be honest you could be right regarding some punctuation.

Si:-)

Jolen on 08-10-2005
A CLOCKWORK HEART
Si,
What a great metaphoric piece of writing, I just knew you were ticking away.... Sort of a love time bomb, eh? Serioulsy dear, this is lovely and I like the imagery very much.

*winds Si up, and watches him go*

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Heh heh, me a love time bomb? BOOM BABY!! I tend to go off early...

I'm so glad that enjoyed reading this piece Jolen.

Ta again.
Si...sizzling away.

Bradene on 13-10-2005
A CLOCKWORK HEART
An extraodinary piece. What a metaphor, but I liked it. It was different. Good work Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Val, I'm so glad that you enjoyed reading this.

Si:-)

Thanks for rate too.


e-griff on 15-10-2005
A CLOCKWORK HEART
eddie,

first time I listened. Some poets reading are pretty awful - you've heard 'em, yeah? I think you have a fresh, raw, honest address which works. Liked it! G

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Why thank you for thinking that I sound okay on the audio! I appreciate that.

I was fretting that I would come across as a right prat.

Si:-)



FALLEN ANGELS (posted on: 19-09-05)
This is a poem that I wrote after hearing a tale from an old WWII fighter pilot.
It was his first kill and although he went on to have further successes this one obviously stuck with him and caused him some anguish.

Si
This piece has been accepted for display at Eden Camp, a WWII POW camp that is now a museum.




A roar of power comforting as the arms of a lover Climbing to our destiny above England's fields of green Goggle eyed we hunt for quarry in the crisp, calm blue With 'Tally-Ho' ringing in our ears we dive and swoop Ugly masked men pounce with one thing on their minds On my command, talons of death spit a rage of fire I stare, transfixed as my enemy spasms, banks and burns Do I hate these men who approach to rain harm on my soil? I presume I must or I could not take life with such ease To protect I have become an assassin veiled in duty How many men have I sent to a struggling screaming demise? Four? Five? It plummets in an unhurried silence, graceful death throes Calling out aloud, praying for canopies to billowbut none do God is deaf above the clamour of destruction and pain I turn away so as not to see the inevitable The scar I have now left on this green and pleasant land SIMON MURPHY 2005 To all the fallen angels who died in service of their countries, may we find one day a world without war.
Archived comments for FALLEN ANGELS
karenuk on 2005-09-19 12:46:51
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
A great subject for a poem and very effective with some beautiful imagery. I love this phrase 'an assassin veiled in duty' especially and the last line too.

Karen.

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-09-19 19:46:52
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Very powerful piece...who knows what goes through the mind of men caught in this situation? I can only guess, and this piece is probably pretty damn close. Well done.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-20 09:59:04
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Hi Karen,

Thanks for reading and commenting and I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-20 10:01:13
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Thanks Roy for reading and commenting.

Your right, we can only guess as to what they felt, glad you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-09-20 20:42:47
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Simon, you captured this well.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

shackleton on 2005-09-20 22:38:53
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Very powerful, Simon. Good poem!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-20 22:51:42
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Hi Mike,

Many thanks for taking a look and commenting.

So pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-20 22:55:19
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Thank you Gerry.

The guy was a friend of a grandfather of one of my mates that I don't see know. It was years later that I remembered the tale and decided to write about it. The thing that really bothers me is that I never asked his name.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-09-21 19:27:37
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Dear Si,

I think you managed to capture a sad truth here, of not only what they think and feel but the results of it.. I appreciate you lending your voice to this.

I join you in the hopes that one day we will all be free of the need for war.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

niece on 2005-09-22 06:21:32
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Hi Simon,
Great poem! Life for us civilians seems so easy when the armed forces do all the dirty job.
And yes... a world without war would be great! Lets hope for the best.
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-22 08:49:17
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Thanks Jolen for reading.

I was hoping that this piece did him justice.

As for my voice? Did you download the audio? What did it read like? My sound-card is a bit dodgy so can't playback properly.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-22 08:52:07
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Hi Niece,

Thanking you for stopping by and reading.

I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

sirat on 2005-09-22 09:44:59
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Very good poem. Clear and powerful. Reminded me of the famous Yeates one about the First World War, An Irish Airman Foresees His Death. The audio download sounds fine, if a bit low in volume. If it worries you I can send you a version at higher volume, and perhaps a bit compressed so that it streams at lower connection speeds.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-22 19:24:15
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Hi David,

Thanking you sir for dropping by and the nice comment. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-09-22 19:30:49
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Cricky Si that was really powerful and I thought your performance was great too. Well done. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-23 00:47:57
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Ta Val for reading and commenting.

Glad that you liked my performance.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Kipper on 2005-09-26 13:26:54
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
This is certainly a powerful piece; not only for those of a certain age - bearing in mind the recent celebrations - but also for younger readers (for whom the conflict has become history) who may glean that war is not glamorous, and that many of those who killed in our name, and for freedom, did so with a heavy heart.
I listened to the audio version first which I enjoyed, but I felt the power of the piece more in the reading.
Well done.
Michael

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-26 18:45:04
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Hello Michael,

Many thanks for dropping by and reading,

I'm so glad that you that got something from this piece.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-27 00:33:31
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Si! I missed this one! I thought it has a real energy to it - looking forward to hearing the reading but it certainly works on the page- pacey xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-27 00:38:31
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Cheers LD,

Now go and listen to me drone on 🙂

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-09-27 00:40:55
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Now that is a real fighters point of view, from the cockpit indeed! Brilliant work and your sound recording was just perfect. I love the accent by the way.

9 from me

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-27 00:44:44
Re: FALLEN ANGELS
Many thanks Tai reading and for the liking the accent.

Si smiling back.

Author's Reply:

Transitions on 02-03-2006
FALLEN ANGELS
I support your sentiments strongly. But you need to work on rythmn and metre which is missing from your writing.

Author's Reply:
Hi Transitions,

Thank you for taking the time to have a look and a read.

Thanks for the advice, this piece was probably slightly rushed as I had a feel for it and just went with it.

Ta again for your interest.

Si:-)



MISERY IN THE MAKING (posted on: 09-09-05)
When life goes wrong...

Darkness extends arms of shadowy eagerness
Delivering body and soul to candle wax shore
Wicks burn with life, essences run and mingle
Hardened and moulded into bitter experience
They now cool in an ocean of wishes and loss
Farther up shore my portrait of love awaits
A Mona Lisa smile of contempt on canvas
I turn from such imagery and weepfor me
My fabric of self is stained, tattered and torn
Returning to the fringe of reasoningI wait
Contemplating forces laying siege to my being
I know my shattered defences can be rebuilt
My vessel of hope and new beginnings arrives
And I pray that this time, I learn and get it right



SIMON MURPHY 2005

Archived comments for MISERY IN THE MAKING
Jolen on 2005-09-09 17:25:08
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Hi Si,

I hope you get it right the next time too. You have some pretty interesting imagery in this one.. I hope you are well.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Elfstone on 2005-09-09 18:36:35
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
I like this very much Simon; of course it taps into that part of me which knows all about life going wrong. I particularly like the image of things cooling in an ocean of wishes and loss. If I may make one suggestion I think it needs more/different/'proper' punctuation. Regards, Elfstone.

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-09-10 11:10:52
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Simon, strong expressive poem, nicely done...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-10 23:18:51
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Agreed with all said so far -i think a little edit, the punctuation thing might help with the pacing - this will lift the strong images off the page. xxxlittleditty x :O)

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-09-11 02:08:18
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Hi there Si, love the descriptions in this one. I pray you get it right next time round too, hun. ;^)

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-09-11 17:25:18
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
For once, no daft comment from me. Well done, a very strong write.

s
u
n
k
e
n


Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-13 10:29:38
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Hi Jolen,

Yeah not too bad thank you.

Me get it right?...never.

Ta for reading and commenting.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-13 10:31:14
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Hi Elfstone,

Thanking you for taking the time to read and comment.

Thank you for the advice it probably could do with some punctuation.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-13 10:31:52
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Hi Gerry thanks for reading and commenting, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-13 10:32:58
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Hi LD,

Yeah may add some or change it slightly.

Thanks for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-13 10:33:48
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Hi Claire,

Thank you my dear for reading and I'm glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-13 10:34:28
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Cheers Sunk,

So glad that you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-13 10:35:37
Re: MISERY IN THE MAKING
Thank you very much Shywolf, I appreciate you stopping by and reading.

Pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


MAN AT UKA (posted on: 22-08-05)
Are you looking for that someone special?
Do you want a man who will talk for hours about really shite stuff and bore you to death but, will be a fashion demon?
If the answer is yes, then why not visit our newest department right here in UKA!



Intellect: Tight as elasticated stay-clean y-fronts (pack of five, assorted colours).




Wit: Sharper than grey pleated stay-press slacks.




Sex-appeal: As cuddly as Argyle socks and brown slip-on leisure shoes (guaranteed to look like new in five years or your money back!).




Delivery: Smoother than a piss coloured Crimplene shirt.




Charm: As subtle as a 'dayglo' green doubleknit 100% polyester kipper tie (be that sex god at the discothque).




Talent: Like a suededouble-breasted (four button notch lapel-non vented) blast to the face!







Ladies and gentlemen I give you our rhymester of fashion

Eddieeeeeeeesolo(applause).

Form an orderly cue...no need for pushing.

SIMON MURPHY 2005


Archived comments for MAN AT UKA
Jolen on 2005-08-22 15:28:07
Re: MAN AT UKA
Looks like I'm first in line.. Woooooooo hoooooo! I needed me one of these in the worst way... I hope it's free shipping. Cute as hell Si!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-08-22 17:59:06
Re: MAN AT UKA
SHE PUSHED IN FRONT!!!! SHE PUSHED IN!!!! (ditty waits in line somewhat hoping that Jolen doesn't want the 'kipper tie'...)

(What? Shhh...*intergalactic message from Jolen* - - -What??? not a boot/yard sale??? oh.... oh dear....ditty blushes -erhmm ... very nice sweet piece Si 🙂

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-08-23 02:19:13
Re: MAN AT UKA
LOL LD, so glad we got that mess straightened out! lol toooooo fun!

Author's Reply:

sirat on 2005-08-23 12:31:42
Re: MAN AT UKA
YESTERDAY'S MAN AT UKA

SALE EXTENDED TO END OF MONTH

Radiodenver cowboy boots (5" platform soles) slight dusting of Colerado river silt ~ $5 or near offer

Wheelchair & crutches, hardly used, suit part-time paraplegic or collector: Griff Enterprises own label ~ £7.50 or exchange for good dictionary

Slightly shark-bitten wetsuit, size XXXXL, never peed-in, merely outgrown, Sirat Subaqua label ~ £4.50 or exchange for healthy leopard gecko

Non-working computer, complete with books on php programming, pirate copy of Windows 98 and large Philips screwdriver (buyer collects) ~ £10 or near offer from webmaster@ukauthors.com

Copy of "I'll Show You Tyrants" and manuscripts of assorted poems and song lyrics, full-size wall poster of Pullmyhair and unused plot in St. Pancras cemetery. Exchange all for major poetry prize nomination or similar.

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-08-23 16:10:50
Re: MAN AT UKA
lolz u jokaz. im not getting involved here
im sure everyones going to be pushing in when theres a sale. we are all human after all not angels.
nice write Si.
take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

Griffonner on 2005-08-23 23:39:18
Re: MAN AT UKA
If I had a different persuasion, I might have joined the cue, so fantastic was the mental picture you created..... not!

*laughing*
Griffonner

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-24 00:00:24
Re: MAN AT UKA
To you love, I'll pay the shipping costs myself...

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-24 00:02:07
Re: MAN AT UKA
LD, you get me...AND the kipper tie...

"Heh, LD where ya going! Come back!"

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-24 00:06:48
Re: MAN AT UKA
I'll give you £2.50 and a three legged, blind Rountail Horned Lizard...called Gerald for the wetsuit?

I thought your comment was a so funny.

Ta for stopping by.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-24 00:07:55
Re: MAN AT UKA
Well BP, see anything you like? *twirls*

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-24 00:08:48
Re: MAN AT UKA
Glad that it gave you a laugh.

Cheers for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-24 11:39:44
Re: MAN AT UKA
Are you really sure? Just look at what I can offer...

Yeah, can't blame you really.

Glad this gave you a laugh.

Thanks for reading my silly piece.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Elfstone on 2005-08-24 22:33:43
Re: MAN AT UKA
I've only just worked my way down the list to this one Simon and I love it! I remember crimplene (ghastly material!!!) and as for " ‘dayglo’ green doubleknit 100% polyester kipper tie" - oh joy!!!!!!!

I think you are my kind of guy ;-)) Can I go to the front of the queue? Elfstone.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-25 01:37:44
Re: MAN AT UKA
Hi Elfstone,

The other girls maybe a tad jealous if I let you in front. Tell you what I'll see around the back later...shhhhhhhhhh...keep it to yourself. lol

Ta for reading.

Si:-)





Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-08-27 10:54:53
Re: MAN AT UKA
You nicked my bleedin' wardrobe - NOW I know where all my groovy stuff went when I wasn't looking, you crafty so-and-so. Bet you have no better luck with it than I did!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-27 12:22:32
Re: MAN AT UKA
I'm sorry Roy, I only borrowed it...I'll give it back...and I don't know, I had some luck with the ladieeeeees!

You probably needed to gyrate more! Always gets em going.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

JeffDray on 2005-08-27 13:22:33
Re: MAN AT UKA
THat's the last time I let you hide in my wardrobe.

Author's Reply:

RichardZ on 2005-08-29 01:35:00
Re: MAN AT UKA
Hmm, what mood were you in when writing this one? Answers on a postcard!


I thought my mind had suppressed the memory of dayglo clothing.
It's like meeting the 80's all over again.

Keep tapping Si. 🙂

R

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-29 19:08:04
Re: MAN AT UKA
Why, what other goodies have you got lurking in there?

Cheers for reading Jeff.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-29 19:10:41
Re: MAN AT UKA
I think I lost my sanity along with my dress sense with this one.

One of the best decades, I thought the 80's.

Thanks for reading and commenting Richard.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jen_Christabel on 16-11-2005
MAN AT UKA
This has brought a HUGE smile to my face this morning.
I loved these lines
piss coloured Crimplene™ shirt.
A big one-o from me
Jen :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jen,

Always nice to see a comment from an oldie...no that's come out all wrong!! Not you, I mean the piece!!

Glad that you enjoyed reading this bit of nonsense.

Oh, just noticed THANK YOU for picking it as fave!

Si:-)



DREAMLAND (posted on: 19-08-05)
Just found a real oldie here! I was sorting out some old papers and found this...I had totally forgotten all about it. It was for a newspaper competition via the school (an English project, and I hated doing it). I didn't take the top prize of a book token but it did get listed in the 'top ten'. I would have been about 14 at the time. Looks like I haven't improved much lol. Si:-)

Out walking the astral plane one night
I happened upon a most irregular sight

A gossamer form only 2 feet in height
Had under his arm a 6 foot kite!

He dragged and heaved with all his might
But the poor spook was just too slight

I decided to assist in his struggling fight
But mum came in and flicked on the light

A tucking of covers making sure there tight
She leaves me knowing everything is alright

Dreamland awaits and a fiery dragon gives fright
But fear not fair damsel for now I'm a knight!

SIMON MURPHY 1985ish

Archived comments for DREAMLAND
Kazzmoss on 2005-08-19 09:11:02
Re: DREAMLAND
That's good fun and made me smile. Funny it reminded me of my Dad coming to tuck me up at night and I used to love it because he pulled the covers really tight!

All those rhymes, and it still made sense! Quite clever really - Kaz

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-19 12:20:16
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi Tai-Li

Yeah I spotted some of the mistakes but wanted to post it in the way I had originally written it.

I remember I hated having to do this and it took me ages to figure it out. The teacher liked it.

Glad you liked it.



Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-08-19 12:23:19
Re: DREAMLAND
Great fun Si and boyohboyohboy as Tai Li so aptly said you have grown as a man and a poet. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-19 12:25:07
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi Kaz,

Ta for reading and commenting on my (probably the first) serious piece of poetry I ever wrote.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-19 12:30:00
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi Val,

Why thank you for thinking I have got better as a poet...as for growing as a man...only outwards I'm afraid 🙁

Ta again.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-08-19 13:09:32
Re: DREAMLAND
But once a knight's not enough! Okay, you said it was an old poem, so I thought an old joke would be appropriate. Sorry. (No, I'm not.)
Great fun, this - very good opening line drags the reader in straight away. You must have been a child prodigy. Is that the right word?

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-19 13:18:57
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi Roy,

*Groans at joke*

As I remember it took me ages to write this and like I posted before I hated doing it. I suppose its not bad for 14 year old...but it put me off writing poetry for a few years.

Thanks for reading Roy.

Si:-)





Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-08-19 15:42:54
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi Si,
I enjoyed this well told tale of imagination in monorhyme. Way to go fair Knight. You can save me anytime... lol

Seriously, it's very well done and maybe you didn't need to improve much... It seems you have always been quite talented.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-19 15:56:19
Re: DREAMLAND
Hold fast maiden and your knight in shinning armour will whisk you away!

Your making me blush now! Talented...give over.

I just thought I would just publish this for the hell of it to be honest.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

Elfstone on 2005-08-19 19:39:45
Re: DREAMLAND
Well Simon I'm impressed. This is very good for a 14 year old. You might be surprised at how poor levels of literacy are these days; half of our new S1 intake have a reading age of 10 or less!!

The rhythm falters in one or two places, but then you maybe noticed that yourself and wanted to present it as it was then. The talent was obvious and is now blossoming. Elfstone.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-19 19:47:54
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi Elfstone,

Thank you for reading.

Yeah, Tai-Li spotted the mistakes and I did think of changing them, but like you said I wanted to post it as the original.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

soman on 2005-08-21 08:23:22
Re: DREAMLAND
Glad you let your fancy take flight
And didn't give up without a fight

A poor follow-on, I know,
but that is the best compliment I can 'throw'!

Soman

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2005-08-21 09:55:45
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi Si, I thought this was really sweet - I know that sounds horrid, but it has such a charm about it that is fresh. I really enjoyed reading.

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-21 10:18:01
Re: DREAMLAND
And a fine compliment it is too Soman.

I thank you for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-21 10:19:41
Re: DREAMLAND
And I think your very sweet for commenting Emma!

I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it.

Thanks,
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-08-21 11:50:08
Re: DREAMLAND
A very sweet little poem Si! The only word that detracted slightly was 'there' in the 9th line, should that have been 'they are' or they're! Just a thought.

8 from me

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-21 13:14:21
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi Tai, thanks for thinking this is sweet.
Yeah, I noticed the error and others but wanted to publish in its 'raw' state, so to speak.

Ta for reading and rating.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-08-21 17:56:36
Re: DREAMLAND
i am thinking about all those fortunate damsels you must have encountered since then - cos it looks like you have always been a charming gentlemanly knight - - -this is so rare - - - so it may of course be an illusion ;o) nice one Si xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-21 20:25:44
Re: DREAMLAND
Is life just an illusion?
Are we just a mirage of someone else's dreams?

Oh shut up Si...

Ta LD for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-08-21 23:22:26
Re: DREAMLAND
yep Si i defiantly agree with Jolen, you must have been born with the talent which does not need to change, your talented all the way. keep your work up
take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-21 23:34:04
Re: DREAMLAND
Hi BP,

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

I'm all blushing...

You don't need talent to have a go at something, This poem really put me off writing for years because I found it so bloody hard to do, and to be honest I couldn't see the point in it.
I have matured a bit since then and I like writing talented or not.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES (posted on: 15-08-05)
A desert affair...


The splendour of the Pyramids dwarfs my infernal suffering

Long ancient shadows are cast like tracks of pain on my heart

Baked in heat from hell itself I stumble, parched for your love

The dust devils taunt me as I claw through the sands of time

Searching for that oasis of existence amongst the dead dunes

Ultimately I realise my folly and weep precious desert tears

Is it over you? My queen of the Pharaoh

Or is it just the sand that gets in my eyes?



SIMON MURPHY 2005







Archived comments for SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Jolen on 2005-08-15 18:51:00
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Dammit Si,

I am really having to rethink this whole 'sex object' image that I had of you...... I love the images here and the way you suggest it may all be illusion... Well done.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Elfstone on 2005-08-15 21:33:05
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
This enigmatic poem has an aching atmosphere; very good. I like it very much - particularly the lines:
. . . I claw through the sands of time
Searching for that oasis of existence amongst the dead dunes


Sometimes it feels as though I have been doing that all of my life, but you express it so well.

Elfstone.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-15 22:04:00
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Hi Jolen,

Sex object!...Me?

Well if you've got it love...

Thanking you for reading and I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-15 22:06:14
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Many thanks Elfstone for reading and commenting.

I'm so pleased you found this piece expressive.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-08-15 22:49:40
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Another great piece, Si.

Very evocative of an Ancient Egyptian king's love for his queen.

Could have been written by Tutankhamen himself... 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-15 22:54:40
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
I'm so glad that you enjoyed one's work dear boy.

Yours,
Howard Carter.


It's me really! Bet ya never guessed!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-08-15 23:27:53
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
I agree with Elfstone. A very dramatic poem. Well done.
Nicoletta

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-15 23:37:08
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Hi Nic,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-08-17 20:33:01
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Simon, that bloody sand gets everwhere.
Very well written...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-17 21:02:07
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Especially in ya underpants...

Thanks for reading and commenting Gerry.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Warhorse on 2005-08-18 10:22:28
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Hi Eddie,

Loved the images of this, an excellent way of describing the nuances of the area.

Well done.

Mike.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-18 12:50:01
Re: SAND GETS IN YOUR EYES
Hi Mike,

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Glad that it evoked images for you.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


PAINTING THE TARN RED (posted on: 08-08-05)
A soldiers death. This piece has been accepted for display at Eden Camp, a WWII POW camp that is now a museum. It has also been accepted for publication in a Remembrance book published by Poetry Now.

Dishevelled and grimy a tramp of the fields Cursing gasps as torn, muddy hands grope Orange glimmer silhouettes abode in ruins Starlight erupts and drifts lazily in blackness Tranquil in form awaiting the blanket of night Now unchained to move, scurrying like a rat Nearly therehope in a weary heart A few more steps to shattered village life Nearly therea smile on cracked lips Eyes catch Sweet Lavender, spikes reaching high Nearly there...nearly home He heard no sound as projectile whistled his way Its merry tune of death finding its mark Nearly there...so nearly there Faltering and swooning in Grim reaper's embrace A flashback to times sat with friends long gone Where summer Fairy Moss danced with Dragonfly hunter As life now spills and flows into inky pool of memories He is saluted by the Water Soldiers who guard this place SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for PAINTING THE TARN RED
RoyBateman on 2005-08-08 10:36:21
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
A very powerful piece, Si...with some telling images, too. Especially liked the "Merry tune of death" line, though "liked" is probably not the correct word in such a grim poem - maybe "was very impressed by". If you get what I mean - no disrespect intended! Something that will stick in the memory.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-08 10:52:33
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Thank you Roy for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Lulu on 2005-08-08 10:57:09
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
I agree with Roy, it will still in my mind ...

Very vivid scene here!

Thank you Simon.
xx
Lu

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-08 11:13:18
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Lu,

No thank you for reading and commenting,

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-08-08 11:25:46
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Powerful and haunting imagery Si and beautifully told. This would make a great piece as a tribute poem on remembrance day. Well written Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-08 11:30:15
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Val,

Thank you for reading and the kind comments...oh and the rate too.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

chrissy on 2005-08-08 12:17:07
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
What a moving piece of work to read on any day of the week.
A brilliant piece of writing with so many stark images.
Particularly I 'was impressed by' the 'almost getting home' lines which gave the reader a kind of hope that he/she knew would be dashed.
Very well done.
Where is the nib, I ask. This certainly deserves one.
chrissy

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-08 12:23:22
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Chrissy, ta for reading and commenting.

I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this. Ax for the nib? One has just appeared by the great nib master...thank you.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-08-08 12:41:59
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Si
I am not a great poetry appreciator.I don't understand most of them. However, this one I like. Everything is clear,crystal clear.
Chrisk

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-08 12:44:59
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Chrisk, your comment means a lot to me thank you.

I'm glad that you liked it and it made some sense lol.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-08-08 12:57:15
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Si, I am so pleased you decided to post this wonderful tribute to our fallen and stilling falling.

10 from me

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-08 13:23:55
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Tai,

Thank you for reading, commenting and for the rate too.

And thank you for having confidence in this piece.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-08-08 14:32:35
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
i liked the moving along and you have some great images here. Lavender is a great smell too - Nice one Si 🙂 and congrats for your nob xxxlittleditty x (invites you shyly to draw a picture on my sub;o)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-08 14:37:19
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Thanks LD...nob?...Oh...thanks *sits back and smirks smugly* Looks like sat in front of my PC starkers is beginning to pay off...oh sorry you mean the nib-nob that I have nabbed...yeah ta.
Do you think it will fit on the page if I draw it? *opens arms like a boasting fisherman.*

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-08-09 01:43:38
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Eddie

Another goodun mate, well done.


xx
Flash

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-08-09 08:14:57
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hiya Si. Very strong piece. It would be wrong of me to act the munky on this one. Well done on the nib. Very much deserved, too many great lines in there to just pick one. Well done.

s
u
n
k
e
n


Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-09 08:28:59
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Sunk,

Thanks for taking a look and reading much appreciated.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-09 08:30:19
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Why thank you Flash, glad that you think this and others of mine are good!

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-09 11:19:00
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Tai-Li,

Many thanks for reading and commenting.

As for the coincidense...spooky in a way that you should happen upon this piece.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

RichardZ on 2005-08-09 13:45:19
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Evokes images very much like a piece of prose. One of the few poems I've read which I could follow scene by scene, so to speak.

Perhaps that explains why I like it, dunno. But, I do. Very neat piece with a clarity that surprised me, pleasantly, it must be said.


Well done 🙂

R

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-09 13:52:44
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Richard,

I'm glad that it flowed nicely for you to follow. I was in two minds as to sub this, but it seems to have worked well.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

ceo61 on 2005-08-09 23:40:52
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
I can merely add my voice to the chorus of praise. Excellent work.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-10 11:46:07
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Thanks for dropping by, reading and commenting. I appreciate it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2005-08-11 03:48:50
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Si,

a very moving poem, with beautiful imagery - well deserved nib.

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-11 09:49:03
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Emma,

Many thanks for reading and commenting.

I'm so pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-08-12 00:10:57
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
A great piece, Si. It really come across well.

Cheers,

Steve

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-12 00:42:23
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Thanks Steve for reading and commenting.

Glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-08-12 14:40:59
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Simon, I am trying to catch up on reads--been in Scotland. This is a super piece of writing, and I fully agree with the praise it has received.
Well done...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-12 17:20:50
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Trevor,

Many thanks mate for taking the time to read and comment.

I'm glad that it evoked such powerful images.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-12 17:29:00
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Gerry,

Hope you had a good time in Scotland?

Many thanks for reading and commenting, I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-08-13 17:40:52
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Si,

I am so very moved with this piece, you have given us full images and very stirring reality with beautiful wording and strength. I am going to have to start taking you seriously, I see. Damn the bad luck!

Seriously.........This is very deserving of the nib and a piece that will stay with me for a long time to come. a fav, in fact.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-13 17:59:36
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Hi Jolen,

Many thanks for reading and commenting.
I'm so glad that it moved you... but not too far I hope.

As for taking me seriously....NAH! Can't have that can we?

Si:-)


Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-08-13 18:05:23
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
Whew Si! I am so happy to hear you say that.. The mere thought nearly upset my whole world.... Glad to know you are still my partner in madness and fun. And it moved me just far enough, methinks...

Blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-13 18:24:03
Re: PAINTING THE TARN RED
And we can't have you upset know can we?

Come Indiana Jolen, there be enjoyment and insanity to spread throughout this site!

To the Madmobile...Post-haste!

Si*Dons tight spandex suit (slightly bulging in the wrong places), mask (back to front). Flicks cape over left shoulder and bolts for the fireman's pole (contain yourself please), misses pole and disappears down hole to land with a thud....moans*





Author's Reply:


FARE AMORE (posted on: 01-08-05)
One of the most beautiful things a person can do...

Pheromone exchange ignites desires Lustful eyes tell of a passion stirred Restrictive attire is deserted with haste Hands moving tenderly, testing, teasing Entwined as one, nakedness holds no form Bodies become taut as conclusion unfolds Arms and legs coiled as serpents of love They fall asleep in a moonlit embrace SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for FARE AMORE
tai on 2005-08-01 10:55:29
Re: FARE AMORE
Hi Simon, hmmmmmm heaven is a thing called love. And lust is quite nice too!lol

An enjoyable read.

9 from me.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-08-01 12:24:45
Re: FARE AMORE
Hi Si,

Yes, most certainly it is one of the most beautiful things a person can do, and it's always better when there are two..... lol.... truly a lovely and oh so sensual piece of writing.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-08-01 15:35:59
Re: FARE AMORE
Si hun, I think this is grand!

Very sensual...

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-08-01 15:44:53
Re: FARE AMORE
Where are you finding al this lush language SI?


nice one.

xx
Flash

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 2005-08-01 15:45:54
Re: FARE AMORE
Very well expressed Simon.
May I respectfully point out the typo in the word 'taut' (the letter 'g' being surplus to requirement).
Other than that, a work of excellent quality.

Best regards, Luigi.

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-08-01 23:22:02
Re: FARE AMORE
sometimes you sound very romantic lolz
nice 1
take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-08-01 23:22:04
Re: FARE AMORE
sometimes you sound very romantic lolz
nice 1
take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-08-02 20:00:14
Re: FARE AMORE
Oh that's right, rub it in why don't ya. As if being terminally single wasn't bad enough... Very nice piece Si. The poem's not bad either (-; Sorry, the old ones are always the best - Ask Andrea, i think she's knockin on a bit. Lol. She won't see this, so don't worry.

s
u
n
k

in trouble

Author's Reply:

Warhorse on 2005-08-03 17:27:06
Re: FARE AMORE
Hi There, Eddie,

The beauty of this poem, shines thruogh, in the treatment of the love act in a sensitive non graphic way.

Well done ,This is smooth.

Regards

Mike.

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2005-08-03 19:32:28
Re: FARE AMORE
This is a lyrical, but only a literal description of the act of love.

'restrictive attire....' is a reflexive, coy, complicated line, which does not fit the mood of the other lines.

'go taught' - someone else already pointed out the spelling... but 'become taut' might be classier...

I'd drop 'as' in the next to last line and stick in a comma.

Then, being consistent with the presentation, why not change ' They fall asleep...' to match? - thus:
Falling asleep in ....

up to you, mate. G

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:19:41
Re: FARE AMORE
Cheers John for reading and the constructive comments.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:20:47
Re: FARE AMORE
Hi Mike many thanks for reading and commenting.

Glad that you thought it was smooth.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:22:04
Re: FARE AMORE
Ta Claire, sensual and grand!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:23:40
Re: FARE AMORE
Hi Luigi, thank you for reading and pointing out the typo. Pleased that you thought it was good quality.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:24:56
Re: FARE AMORE
Hi Flash, not a clue mate...

Ta for reading and glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:26:10
Re: FARE AMORE
Hi Tai...or low Tai...Thanking you my dear for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:27:58
Re: FARE AMORE
Hi Jolen...TWO! THEY'RE HAS TO BE TWO?!...and all these years alone...heh heh.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:30:05
Re: FARE AMORE
Now have you had a tipple or two? You're repeating yourself, maybe its just hiccups.

Thank you for reading and thinking I sound romantic...oh give over.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:31:50
Re: FARE AMORE
ANDREA! Sunks having a go...*Si pointing Sunks way*

Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-08-06 00:36:26
Re: FARE AMORE
Very nicely written. 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-06 00:41:59
Re: FARE AMORE
Many thanks my good man.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


A TUBE ENCOUNTER (posted on: 01-08-05)
That moment when you see the one...yet powerless to get them.

Shoved and heaved from flagstone to flagstone from news-vendor to news-vendor The dismal greyness of buildings and sky reflect the beatings of my dreary heart Shuffling and murmuring, workforce and tourist all herded into underground shed Standing with other white collar-zombies I again ask the question: Why am I here? With animal eagerness we turn as one as the faint tunnel rumblings grow louder Trainers and court-shoes, brogues and boots stir as the metal beast approaches I prepare for the multi-coloured, multi-raced tide that will bring me to its doors As the electric monster slows to a stop a silence descends around the gathered Waiting Waitingfor that hydraulic hiss to commence our platform exodus Abruptly I turn and spot her in the hushed, barely breathing muscle taut throng The scene melts away and it's just her and me, this ray of sunlight in a fluorescent world I want to go to herbut she's so far away Struggling to escape this human trap I push apologetically towards my angel saviour Almost therealmost there Hiss ''No!'' I crythe doors have opened I battle a current of arms and legs, struggling to reach my lifeboat of salvation I eddy in the remnants of human debris and founder beneath pop bottle flotsam Belly gorged and hunger sated this worm of the tracks hisses menacingly at me I stare at blank faces through dusty panes fervently trying to glimpse my Aphrodite Alone I now stand staring down black empty maw Gone now is the train Gone now is the girl And gone now is the glow of beauty in my sad dreary heart SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for A TUBE ENCOUNTER
RoyBateman on 2005-08-01 11:29:06
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
I must admit that, when I saw the title, I thought it was going to be another theme entirely - but it's hardly your fault that events have hijacked your idea! I liked this - it caught the momentary surge of interest in a stranger so vividly. Who knows whether anything would have - could have - come of it? We'll never know, and that's the fascination.... A very good read, Si.

Author's Reply:

RichardZ on 2005-08-01 11:53:23
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
A lost thunderbolt, and in under 300 words too.

This will sounds like a load of old tosh, but it reminded me of those black and white paintings, where there is just one person done in colour for the contrast.

You paint a bleak enough picture for his attraction to show through strongly.

Short and sweet. Enjoyed this one. 🙂

Regards

R

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-08-01 12:28:05
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
What a wonderfully descriptive piece of 'what might have it been'....... loved the images you brought to life here.

Blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Kazzmoss on 2005-08-01 15:15:35
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Enjoyed this, lovely descriptive words - Kaz

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-08-01 23:04:05
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Si hun, you have described this so well, I'm impressed hun, very impressed!

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-08-03 01:41:58
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Si - how well you have desicribed the only high point of taking the toob - beware of getting wings caught in the sliding doors 😉 xxxlittlediity who has lost disc:-( x

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-08-03 16:24:55
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
A sweet glimpse of life and the passing of souls on the journey of eternal drudgery.

I really liked this eddie.

9 from me.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

Warhorse on 2005-08-03 17:15:09
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Hi There,

This is so reminiscent of the time when I was just learning to chase the girls again after a divorce.

We have all been there, well, most of us, but you have captured the pathos of what might have been beautifully.

Regards

Mike.

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-08-04 17:44:33
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Very vivid descriptions Simon. Like it a lot. I've lost count of the times I've seen 'the one' in a crowd. You capture it well.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:06:10
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Hi Mike thanks for reading and commenting...you chase them girls...GO!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:06:59
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Hi Tai many thanks for reading, commenting and the rate. Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:08:04
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Many thanks Sunk for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:08:42
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Hi Kaz...ta very much, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:09:51
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Cheers Roy for taking the time to read and comment. Glad that you found it a good read.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:11:12
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Thank you Jolen for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:12:36
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Oh Claire...you impressed...I'm all blushing.

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:13:41
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Hi LD,

I shall keep all hands, legs and other bits dear to me all safe.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:15:09
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Hi Richard,

So pleased that you enjoyed it and I love your comparison.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-08-04 22:28:03
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Eddie you certainly filled your descriptive pot with this one, you may have over cooked it a bit though?

But good to see you having a bash, experimenting in a style i don't recall seeing you write in until recently.

Interesting read, my girl was on a bus leaving the station.

xx
Flash

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:34:59
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Hi Flash, Yeah I got stuck into it and it seemed to go on a bit too long but when I tried to whittle it down it read crap...so there you have it.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-08-06 00:37:55
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
A nice piece. We've all seen 'the love of our life' through a train or bus window at some point. Well done, Si. 🙂

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-08-06 00:38:42
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
A nice piece. We've all seen 'the love of our life' through a train or bus window at some point. Well done, Si. 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-06 00:43:26
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
You lost ya memory there fella? Or just making sure I got the post.

Ta for reading and commenting...twice.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Lulu on 2005-08-06 10:52:05
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
I didn't agree with Flash, I think it's got the right length for this sort of story. the rhythm specially, very well done, one feels the time running, the train moving, and the anguish of the poor guy. Thanks for sharing, Simon!

xx
Lu

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-06 11:13:19
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
Hi Lu, many thanks for reading and commenting and I'm glad that you thought it was just the right length.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-08-08 21:25:27
Re: A TUBE ENCOUNTER
I must have hit 'ok' twice... or something...lol 🙂

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 02-11-2005
A TUBE ENCOUNTER
This would be great audio Mr Si xxx

Author's Reply:


A STELLAR SERENADE (posted on: 29-07-05)
Fly me to the moon... Not too happy with this piece, I feel it doesn't flow yet can't put my finger on what to do. I don't want to shelve it as I like the idea and I don't want to expand...maybe my brain isn't working for this one. I have re-worked it and changed lines and words but still not happy. Not too sure on this line 'Thanking the man in the moon as he bids us welcome' I think it's maybe a bit too weak. Maybe you guys and gals can give some pointers. If you wish to do a re-write then please feel free! Si:-)

Heavenly bodies pulled close we swirl with the galaxy Its gentle momentum holds us in a lovers embrace Comets of golden stardust streak from our heels As we do a cosmic fandango across a jewelled sky On Pegasus we soar into nebula of vibrancy and life Like sunspots so dark our energies cool as we tire Thanking the man in the moon as he bids us welcome We skip over craters and swim in seas of ashen silk On mount of grey we stop and I gaze into her eyes And as the Earth rises we succumb to an airless kiss SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for A STELLAR SERENADE
Claire on 2005-07-29 22:10:11
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
All I can suggest is some punctuation hun.

Otherwise, I think this is fine.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 00:46:35
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Hi Claire,

Yeah you could be right, like I put in the blurb I just couldn't seem to get this piece to 'sit' right and work.

Ta for commenting and reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2005-07-30 07:29:05
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Hi Simon,

I found this poem gained strength as it went through - some of the earlier lines although full of imagery I found a little stilted, but overall I really liked this -

We skip over craters and swim in seas of ashen silk

I thought that line in particular - was full of mystery and imagery.

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 09:33:20
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Hi Si,
I feel you hit some beautiful images here and it sort of felt like you took me on a cosmic ride, or dance as it were.... I enjoyed this and the entire concept left me wanting more.... (but then, I'm greedy like that.....lol)

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 10:43:39
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Hi Emma,

Many thanks for reading and commenting. I knew what I wanted to say and I could see it in my mind, for some reason it always came across 'flat'.

Its not a bad piece but it does lack something.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 10:46:50
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Hi Jolen,

Ta for reading and commenting.

I better get scribbling...if you want more! Me little finger ends will be all sore...oh pity me 🙂

I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 11:38:41
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Oh honey, don't hurt yourself..... but yes, do get busy 'scribbling'......... lol... You are a bit of fun, aren't you?

Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 11:49:18
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
You are a bit of fun, aren't you? *wink wink*

Alas that's all I be...then discarded like the empty champagne bottles that filled us with bubbles of passion. lol

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-07-30 16:01:12
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
hello steadyeddie - i nicked your poem and did some writes - i may have them here on disc and wil pm you with them.. I like this poem and noticed as i was fiddlin that it could work with more air in it - so broke it up - put it together -broke it up, then, i found myself wondering about the connection of ideas - especially the use of the word 'succumb' - and - thought that perhaps as you were editing some of your connectives may have been altered or lost? now - i dont think any of what i have said will make any sense to anyone except silly me - so i will shut up - find disc and hope you will forgive me... ...xxxlittledotty x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 16:05:52
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Hi LD,

Ta for taking a look. Yeah, feel free to nick away!

As for making sense?...no...but this poetry it doesn't have to make sense.

Look forward to reading what you've done with the piece.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-07-30 17:57:50
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Simon, many poems don't need punctuation this is one such. I like it as it is....

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 18:22:16
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Ta Gerry for reading and I'm glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

alcarty on 2005-07-31 04:58:41
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
What the hell's wrong with that? Sorry, I'm not a poet but I know what I like. Reads well to me; I liked the imagery and feeling of elsewhere. Took me away from a hot New Mexico night momentarily.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-31 13:02:52
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Thanks alcarty for reading and commenting.

Glad that you found nothing wrong with this and that you enjoyed the imagery.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-08-03 15:55:30
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Hmmmm I see what you mean eddie, it has a kind of stilted flow. It has a surreal feel to it though, like the two are freed from the body to astrally experience the wonders of our universe together, in harmony. Nice!

I gave it 8

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-06 13:52:24
Re: A STELLAR SERENADE
Sorry Tai a bit late in responding to this post.

Thanks for reading and thanks for doing a re-write I have saved it and shall mull over your efforts.

Ta again.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


A POETS POEM (posted on: 25-07-05)
A poem...

They say all I do is scribble, perhaps they're right Ranks of assonance blight a landscape of snow I embrace the paper with an impatience born of desire Pencilled words deflower my virgin angel pure I engrave existence, death, love, odium andmeaning Meaning: significance, does this signify something? Does it signify that this piece is a poem? Perhaps it signifies that I am a poet? In truth it signifiesI'm not too sure Anyway they say all I do is scribble and perhaps they're right SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for A POETS POEM
e-griff on 2005-07-25 12:20:02
Re: A POETS POEM
I thought this good, particularly the device in the second line to heave us on. It kept the theme and had meaning, with a acceptable repeat at the end to make the point.

One thing: I don't think the line
'Pencilled words deflower my virgin so angel pure'
works too well (second part). I won't attempt to offer an alternative, but suggest you think about it.

G 🙂


Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-07-25 12:21:43
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi eddie, great little poem. I especially liked the line, 'Pencilled words deflower my virgin so angel pure'! Wow. A fine read indeed.

9 from me

Tai

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-07-25 12:23:15
Re: A POETS POEM
Snap...I think e-griff and I posted at the same...just goes to show how tastes differ...but he's a prose writer so take no notice!!!lol

grinning

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-25 12:46:52
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi John,

Many thanks for taking a look.

You know I too wasn't too sure over: 'Pencilled words deflower my virgin so angel pure'. I really liked the line and the expression it gave but didn't think it fitted in with the piece. I thought it was a tad too fussy.

Glad you liked it.

Si:-)




Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-25 12:49:17
Re: A POETS POEM
I'm all confused now Tai!

I really liked the line but did think it was too fussy for this piece. But you liked it and that makes it all okay!

Ta for reading, commenting and the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-25 12:51:34
Re: A POETS POEM
Me...take no notice of e-griff?...why what's he put? I didn't take any notice....only kidding John *giggles*


Si:-)




Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-07-25 13:26:35
Re: A POETS POEM
yup -this poem is a poets poem and i liked it and i liked that line very much and i have no crit sorry and i really liked this ditty Si -nice xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-25 13:29:00
Re: A POETS POEM
Bless you littleditty.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2005-07-25 13:33:52
Re: A POETS POEM
well, I too liked the thought, but basically the words don't really flow together. I think it's actually the 'so' on second reading... Yes!... I'd take it out and then it would reads fine for me, with the same meaning as far as I can see... but that's up to you, mate! G 🙂


Author's Reply:

AnthonyEvans on 2005-07-25 13:58:54
Re: A POETS POEM
hi si,

yes, it is a poet's poem.

i don't have too much of a problem with that flowery line of yours 'pencilled words deflower my virgin so angel pure' because, as i read your poem, the first half of it is about the writing of poetry and the gush of assonance you apply to it (though perhaps there is more alliteration than assonance?) so that leads one to expect such a line. also, i think it is a good description of how we try to get down the essence of something, only to find we have put flesh on the spirit.

best wishes, anthony.


Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-25 14:04:20
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi Anthony,

Thank you very kindly for reading and commenting.

Glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-25 14:49:50
Re: A POETS POEM
Si,

I enjoyed this a great deal, I liked the images you used to convey what I feel we all think one time or another.
This especially worked well for me, but then maybe I'm just a perv...... lol
"impatience born of desire Pencilled words deflower my virgin angel pure I engrave existence"

A most pleasurable read. Thank you.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-25 15:10:58
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi Jolen,

Many thanks for reading and commenting.

You...a perv? Never! lol

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Griffonner on 2005-07-25 18:34:53
Re: A POETS POEM
I read this early this morning and have come back for a second dose 🙂

I really enjoyed this. You used descriptions that are, I think, common to all of us, as writers, and particularly those of us who sometimes do battle with poetry.

I too was really impressed by this:

'...impatience born of desire Pencilled words deflower my virgin angel pure...'

Thanks for sharing.

*appreciatively* Griffonner

Author's Reply:

Nimbus on 2005-07-25 19:00:09
Re: A POETS POEM
Excellent work, Simon...I like the motif and flow. "Odium" looks little out of sync to this reader.

Nimbus

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-25 19:02:11
Re: A POETS POEM
Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-25 19:05:30
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi Nimbus,

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

I also thought about 'Odium' and wondered if flowed in the line, in the end it sounded good and made me look like I knew what I was doing...'ahem'

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-07-25 23:19:51
Re: A POETS POEM
Hey Eddi.
i think this was a really good post. and if this is based on any experience then i know where your coming from.
cause to people who poems mean nothing. who ain't interested in them and don't understand why and what it means will say things like that.
keep it up
take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-26 00:00:21
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi BP,

Thanks for commenting and reading I appreciate the time you've taken.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-07-26 13:00:00
Re: A POETS POEM
I think you caught it perfectly - the sense of being an outsider, "they" say... Maybe we all flatter ourselves, eh? When all the time, we're struggling to make sense of it all, to resolve those doubts. Keep scribbling, I say - you're making sense to me!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-26 13:56:53
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi Roy,

Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm glad it makes sense to somebody!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Leila on 2005-07-27 21:10:22
Re: A POETS POEM
Nice one, I especially liked..
I engrave existence, death love..
and the what does it signify repitition to conclude
...I'm not too sure! I'm sure we've all felt like that.
I enjoyed the read...L

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-27 21:23:48
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi Leila,

Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-07-27 22:15:04
Re: A POETS POEM
Simon, a good little scribble. LOL.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-27 22:51:25
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi Gerry,

Ta very much mate for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-07-28 01:15:31
Re: A POETS POEM
Keep scribbling, fella 🙂
Nice one!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-28 01:24:05
Re: A POETS POEM
Ta Steve, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

jay12 on 2005-07-30 03:38:53
Re: A POETS POEM
Wow for someone scribbling you aint doping too bad, fab little poem.



Author's Reply:

jay12 on 2005-07-30 03:39:09
Re: A POETS POEM
doing*

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 10:40:15
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi James,

Thanking you for dropping by, reading and commenting.

Pleased that you enjoyed it....I shall keep scribbling.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

LenchenElf on 2005-07-31 22:10:10
Re: A POETS POEM
Lovely work Simon, brought a smile and I do so like the line "In truth it signifies...I'm not too sure" Thanks for sharing this 🙂
all the very best
Lenax

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-04 22:47:35
Re: A POETS POEM
Hi Lena, thank you for reading and commenting...also for picking it as a fave read, that means a lot...thanks

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

admin on 2005-09-17 18:44:27
Re: A POETS POEM
Sounds great 'live' as well. What a difference the audio makes.


*marvels at the wonders of mod tech*

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-17 19:12:57
Re: A POETS POEM
Many thanks that you think it sounds good.

I thought I sounded like a right dork.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 29-10-2005
A POETS POEM
This one! :o)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 23-02-2006
A POETS POEM
Yup -i wasn't wrong! It is a great one for audio!

Author's Reply:
Thanks LD,

Glad that you enjoyed it 🙂

Si


SEXUAL...POETICAL (posted on: 08-07-05)
Poetry can be so stimulating...


******************************* * HOT * * STICKY * * VERSE* ** *AVAILABLE ALL NIGHT-EVERY NIGHT!* ** ******************************* Fingers tingle, keyboard caressed and fondled
Tongue protrudes sensually moistening lips
Tip tap, tip tap echoing my quickening heart
Quickerfaster...hands move expertly
I ejaculate with the expressions of my verse
Now expended, I have climaxed in metaphor

SIMON MURPHY 2005


Archived comments for SEXUAL...POETICAL
Frenchy on 2005-07-08 17:00:22
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Nice one Eddie!
Take Care,
Dave.

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-07-09 11:39:25
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
I hope you wiped the keyboard - metaphorically, of course! If only things were so easy...(And quick) Whoops, what a giveaway.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-11 09:06:41
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Plenty of tissues on standby...lol
Ta for reading and commenting Roy.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-11 09:08:12
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Get yourself a Microsoft keyboard...last longer lol
Thanks...er...Harold for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-11 09:08:56
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Cheers Dave for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-07-20 18:08:19
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
ditty lost dashes out of boys locker room quickly -
(i saw heard NOTHING - it wasn't me - i wasn't here - it was my friend ...;
;
; ;
; ;
; ; ; ; ;


(footprints? no?- oh for godsake...ld xxx)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-20 18:34:10
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
LOL
Dear Si,

Now I know you were joking about my erotica..... it seems you are VERY FAMILIAR with this ah..er... genre..... Witty and pleasant....... I am glad I had that towel near.......... lol..Those damn metaphoric climaxes can get so messy......

loved this!!!!

blessings,
Jolen(whose typing is quickened now) LOL

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-20 19:03:20
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Ta for reading littledashy...dishy...ditty.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-20 19:05:36
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Ta Jolen for your kind comments.

Me familiar with erotica? Nah...sweet and innocent me...still a virgin.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-07-21 14:44:01
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Si I love this very cleverly written and very cheeky poem I loved the metaphorical climax!((-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-21 17:04:23
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Hi Val,

Thanks for reading and commenting on my cheeky little number!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-07-21 17:35:53
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Fantabulous! Play it again eddie!

Love it.

Hope that isn't too critical for you!lol

Smiling sweetly

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-21 17:44:17
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Hi Tai,

Give us a sec to get me breath back...

Ta for reading and commenting and the rate if it was you.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-07-28 01:13:59
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Ooh 'eck... Nice imagery... (mops brow) 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-28 01:25:32
Re: SEXUAL...POETICAL
Keep that sticky keyboard clean...

Thanks for reading and commenting Steve.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD (posted on: 04-07-05)
I wrote this after I was taken ill at the beginning of the year with pneumonia. I was first diagnosed as having a really bad case of the flu, so just took paracetamol and water. The pain in my left side was so bad that I was hitting walls, after a week I collapsed at home and was taken to hospital. I suffered a collapsed lung and was in and out of consciousness. Apparently it was touch and go for the first couple of days. But I made it through so I can pester you lot with my crap 🙂
The title is true and I don't wish to sound flippant about death. In a sudden clear thought: If I was to die then it wasn't so bad.
I don't know why I had this thought and why it seemed so clear. Maybe I was preparing myself just in case...who knows?
Si I would also like to say a big thank you to my family and friends and to all the hospital staff that worked hard to get me on my feet again...I am so grateful, thank you.

Lying in fevered blanket I hear and know nothing Sweat drenched form muttering, babbling childlike Shivers subside and so briefly consciousness returns Lucid moments of mind abruptly call me to the now In these rare seconds I feel scared of only one thing Leaving my family and never sharing their life again But as my brain tries to defeat this demon within With a vision of clarity I realise that if it has to be, then Dying isn't so bad SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
tai on 2005-07-04 10:10:35
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Si, so very you pulled through. Yes! I think at times like you experienced the brain prepares us. I agree with you, but then again, I don't believe in death!

Smiling in the face of...

Tai


Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-07-04 10:11:11
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
That should have been glad!

Bit early for me

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 11:04:44
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Thanks Tai for reading and commenting and the rate too!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Hazy on 2005-07-04 11:23:49
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Blimey, Si. What a shock that must've been!

I think about death a lot... not sure if I'd be better or worse after a near death experience! Really pleased to hear you made a full recovery!!

Great poem 🙂 Congrats on your nibby.

Take care.

Hazy x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 11:30:05
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Thanks Hazy for Reading and the kind comments. Still not made a full recovery though 🙁
My diaphragm on my left side has been pushed up and is causing me a great deal of discomfort....but at least I here.

Ta again,

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-07-04 13:03:15
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
A nice piece of writing Si. Well done on the nib, really deserved. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 14:24:15
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Val,

Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2005-07-04 18:34:32
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Simon, glad you pulled through - liked the inevitable-philosophical thought in this. Well done on the nib.

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 19:50:44
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Ta to you Emma for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-07-04 21:20:08
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Simon, you wrote this with style, and described the emotions well. Sounds like it was a near thing--I sincerely hope you make a 100% recovery...

Best wishes
Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 21:58:20
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Thank you Gerry for taking the time to read and comment. And I'm glad that you thought I had written this with style and emotion.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

jay12 on 2005-07-04 22:25:11
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
nice little read Si.

Glad you pulled through and are better now.



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 22:33:07
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Cheers Jay12,

Thank you for reading and commenting. Apart from a lot of discomfort when I sneeze or yawn or do exercise I'm 100% better than I was.

Thanks again,

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-07-05 01:08:54
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Si,

Congrats on the nib and congrats on a wonderful poem.

Feel free to sniffle on my shoulder any time. ;^)

You're coming out with some corkers now hun.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-05 04:01:54
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
This reads so well - really enjoyed this and I'm so glad you're back to full strength, Si!

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-05 08:39:12
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Claire,

Thank you for the kind comments. I'm glad that you think my poetry had improved...well see how long it lasts.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-05 08:40:10
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Kat,

Ta for reading and the kind comments made.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 2005-07-05 10:06:39
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
I haven't felt that close to dying (watching eastenders is my only real near death exp). Nothing like writing from an intense experience, I haven't had enough of those to produce anything like this. Dazza.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-05 10:12:15
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Dazza,

Ta very much for reading and commenting.

This piece maybe from a unique perspective but its one that I don't want to go through again...I like poetry but not that much lol.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-07-05 10:49:33
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
"The hour of departure has arrived and we go our ways; I to die, and you to live. Which is better? Only God knows." Socrates
"Death is the great adventure beside which moon landings and space trips pale into insignificance." (Joseph Bayly)
"If life must not be taken too seriously -- then so neither must death." (Samuel Butler)

A good autobiographical poem Simon. Dying isn't so bad indeed.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-05 11:00:47
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Nic,
Ta for reading and I like your quotes, very true.

Si;-)

Author's Reply:

LenchenElf on 2005-07-05 11:23:48
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
So glad you are still here Si. to write like this 🙂
all the best
LE

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-05 11:28:28
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Cheers LE,

Glad to be here. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-07-05 12:03:22
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
First thing - I'm so glad you made it! This really made me think...maybe we shut down naturally, like animals seem to? I've always thought that they seem to "know", and it doesn't bother them. Fascinating read, and I'm very pleased you're still around to write it!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-05 12:08:39
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Thanks Roy for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2005-07-05 17:29:08
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
ah! another victim of life!

But we're all dying, aren't we? Slowly,

What with you and Gerry, there's a fashion starting. Should I write about my little sojourn? *ponders*

Tell you what, we could frighten the hell out of the healthier members. (mind you, I still have a healthy... oops). I'd not been in hospital for 53 years up to this point...

'It was December 13th. Not a Friday, but it might as well have been. As I got up from the toilet, a fiery pain shot from the base of my spine down the back of my thigh and up my belly. In panic, I lowered myself to the floor on the threshold of the bedroom and lay there. Every so often the pain recurred, and my leg rose from the floor in reaction. I called out. After an eternity, my son called from the other side of the bedroom door. 'Get an ambulance,' I begged him, 'get an ambulance' ...

I didn't want to write at the time, but maybe...

a new category, perhaps? 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-05 17:42:10
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi John,

I don't know which sounds the worst, what I had or what you had!

Your right about it starting a trend, we could have a new section just for ailments and near death experiences.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-07-09 18:40:23
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
With a vision of clarity I realise that if it has to be, then…
Dying isn’t so bad

- it's not so bad - and living is pretty spectacularlyfantastic too 🙂 -liked this Si - littledittyxxx

Author's Reply:

RichardZ on 2005-07-09 22:55:50
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Damn, this is morbid for you. 🙂

Glad you are on the road to recovery mate, and writing about it can only be a good thing.

If it makes ya smile, cry, scream or laugh, write about it!


R


PS: I, yes, good piece! I liked it, in a downer kind of way. 🙂

Author's Reply:

potleek on 2005-07-10 20:22:30
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Simon I'm glad I read this one, it kind of put things in perspective when one is really ill perhaps dying is not so bad.
I haven't been that close to death's door but I understand where you are coming from, thanks...Tony

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-11 01:04:20
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Si,

I think you have managed to capture our acceptance with the inevitable completely. I think that once one has come so close to death it changes their lives forever, did you find this to be so?

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-11 09:10:46
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Totally agree, life is fantastic.

Thanks for liking it littleditty.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-11 09:19:33
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Glad you liked Richard and yeah a tad morbid I suppose, but like you said writing about it is a good thing, made me not feel guilty about accepting my death (which I did).

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-11 09:20:56
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Tony,

Thanks for reading and understanding.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-11 09:24:52
Re: YOU KNOW...DYING ISN'T SO BAD
Hi Jolen,

Many thanks for reading and commenting. I don't know if it has changed my like forever...I'm still overweight and am trying to sort that out. I will say that I'm more aware of the world around me, I notice the trees, clouds and laughter more. I enjoy myself more too, money means nothing when your dead so I enjoy spending it on my family.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


RAINDROP (posted on: 01-07-05)
The life of a raindrop...called Dew.

Heavier I have become, engorged and round I feel myself slipping through ethereal veils Gravity whisks me from vaporous domicile I fall, spinning with my brothers and sisters My gaze is drawn towards shards of silky, angel light Spearing through the grey they rest upon fields of green I would like to land on these pastures so pure I look down Laying now broken, mingled with my siblings My chance to soak verdure will one day be mine SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for RAINDROP
tai on 2005-07-01 10:47:24
Re: RAINDROP
I love it Si. What great personification, in a mere rain drop. Wow!

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-01 11:03:39
Re: RAINDROP
Thanks Tai for your wonderful comment and rate.

I'm so pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-07-01 14:20:49
Re: RAINDROP
Si, nice poem! thanks, Apolloneia

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-01 16:35:13
Re: RAINDROP
What a beautiful poem, so well enunciated with some great images.

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-01 17:13:08
Re: RAINDROP
Many thanks Apolloneia for taking the time to read and comment. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-01 17:14:08
Re: RAINDROP
Hi Kat,

I'm so pleased that you thought my poem was beautiful.

Ta for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2005-07-01 17:39:24
Re: RAINDROP
Si, good idea for a poem and well written.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-01 19:12:12
Re: RAINDROP
Many thanks Dargo for your time and the kind comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-07-01 20:14:11
Re: RAINDROP
hey i really liked this one...the way you used personification for the rain drops.
keep it up
take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-01 20:37:59
Re: RAINDROP
Ta BaBy PoeT for reading and commenting.

I'm glad that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-07-01 20:43:08
Re: RAINDROP
Simon, You painted a nice picture here. Well done.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-01 20:48:29
Re: RAINDROP
Thank you Gerry, I'm glad that you liked it.

Take care mate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 29-10-2005
RAINDROP
Yes! How did i miss this one Si? xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Glad that you liked it Nicky.

Si:-)


CHILDISH NOTIONS (posted on: 27-06-05)
A man and his toys...

Capricious with expectation a shiver travels my spine Outsized eyes eager to take in so many images A kid in a candy store drooling over countless delights Thisnothisnothisso much, no time! Timepiece mocking, grinning its countdown Wasted moments I could have been looking! I jig like a flatfooted Michael Flatly from aisle to aisle Stopped dead in my tracks, beauty is before me Housed in sensual silver, 42'' of plasma heaven VGA to UXGA multi-scanning speakers The last time I got this excited wasI pause Christmas 1976 when I got a Raleigh Grifter I pay and depart, grinning from ear to ear For like that Christmas in 76 I know Oh yeah I know I will be the envy of all my mates. SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for CHILDISH NOTIONS
MercuryRapids on 2005-06-27 14:05:40
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
lol.. been there, done that... heh heh

well, apart from the plasma screen, but you know what I mean. Us lads and our gizmoes... 😛

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-27 15:28:38
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
Men and their effing gizmo's!!!!

And as soon as a bigger one comes out you'll want it. I still think that men who must have bigger and better things are compensating for something that they lack...

Canny one hun. ;^)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 15:51:47
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
'I still think that men who must have bigger and better things are compensating for something that they lack...' Yeah, probably not having wives telling them they can't have it...not me though I always do as I'm told...always.

Ta for the comment.

Si:-)


Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 15:53:21
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
I've got a 42" plasma screen going cheap if you want it Steve...go on you know you can't resist!

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2005-06-28 09:42:15
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
Si, enjoyed your excitement in this well written piece.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-28 09:49:01
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
Many thanks Dargo for reading and commenting.

I glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-06-28 13:59:26
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
A great little poem on you boys and your toys Si, one typo 4th to last line 'grinning from ear to ear!'

An enjoyable read, well at least you admit it!

All the best

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-28 14:42:43
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
Thanks Tai,

I'm glad that you enjoyed and thanks for the type....never noticed.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Leila on 2005-06-29 19:27:53
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
ha this made me smile, nicely done...L

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-29 19:37:32
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
I'm glad it made you smile Leila, ta for commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-06-29 19:54:14
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
Lol - This is so me young Eddie. I subbed a piece a few months ago about my new 42" TV. I think it was called, 'Caution! Man shopping' (I'd have to check that though). I'm impressed. Mines a rear projection, not quite in the league of a Plasma, but it will do nicely for a munky. Loved your poem. I hate to come out with the old cliche line, but 'I do relate' Well done, a ten from me (plus a big daft grin)
Do you think we ever grow up? don't answer that, I don't need to know.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-29 20:19:40
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
Thanks Sunken for your kind comments and the rate.

I look at it this way...God created man...Man creates toys...toys keep man away from woman...unless its the...ahem...wiggly...whiring...cough...(says in a hushed voice) pleasure toys...shhhh, then man-made toys...still...keep man away from woman.

We all benefit! I think...I'm confused.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-06-29 20:25:45
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
You see, this is my point exactly. Why women think they have any right to the remote control is beyond me. The TV is our invention! They are lucky we let them watch it at all....

Right, I'll get me coat (and maybe a hard hat)

s
u
n
k


Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-30 08:24:32
Re: CHILDISH NOTIONS
Heh, heh...run Sunk!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF (posted on: 27-06-05)
An indulgent piece about ego and self importance. I'm not like this (I hope) but got this crazy idea and wanted to see if I could get it to work.

Si. Sorry about the image not been brill but I had a lot of farting about to do to get it to look like this! May experiment more.

me me me meme me meme mememe mememe meme meme meme ''Oh hear all meme my tales so grand!''mememememe memememe mememe mememememe mememe POETRYmememememememememe memememememe mememe memememememememmememe memememememememememe POETRY memememememememmememe POETRY memememememeMEMEMEmememe POETRYmemememememememeMEmememe mememememememememememememe memememe mememememememememememe memememememememememememememememememememememe me memememememememememememememememememe mememememememememememememememe memememememememememememe memememememememememememe memememememememememememe memememememememememememe 'Listen to me read me ...want me... ...blind yourself... ...with my words of verse but most of all... ...PRAISE ME! For if you don't then my work means nothing and I wither and die.' SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
tai on 2005-06-27 11:31:28
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Oh dear Si! What can I say? It worked. The strangest poem I've read to date! Very true about the ego of all artists too.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 11:54:34
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Thanks Tai,

Yeah a bit strange...not too sure if it worked or not.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-06-27 14:06:44
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Fantastically original.

Should beframed and hanged in an art gallery!

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-27 15:24:38
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Have you seen shackleton's pieces that have shapes to them? They are great. Some of them are on my site, don't forget to peek at his too though, they are brill.

What would have made this much better if the picture was in the frontal view of the middle finger sticking up... lol

Canny crazy idea hun.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 15:47:11
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Ta fella...it's yours for a ! £1,000,000

Well worth it.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 15:48:44
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Yeah I have seen Shacks stuff the are great.

To be honest I wasn't too sure about this piece...I don't think the image really came across how I wanted...never mind.

Ta for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

LenchenElf on 2005-06-29 11:00:35
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
..and each word a rose in bloom and the heart beats in purity of single purpose ? 🙂 This is superb,sharp, inspired,witty (by 'eck I could wax lyrical) and thanks for sharing this Simon...it really would make a great print.
all the very best
LE




Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-29 11:09:30
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Thanks LE, I appreciate your kind words and taking the time to comment. So pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-06-30 16:49:26
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
I think it works well young Eddie, both the image and the message. Very original in my ickul ego stripped opinion.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-30 19:56:43
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Cheers Sunken for reading and commenting. I'm glad that you thought it worked...still not too sure myself.

Ta,
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

reckless on 2005-07-02 01:03:06
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Very cleverly done. It must have taken you ages. Have you ever read Apollinaire by any chance?

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-02 01:20:21
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Hi Reckless,

It was ok when I did it word but I had to mess around a lot to get it to work on here. I have heard of Apollinaire, but have not actually read anything by him.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-07-02 08:35:23
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
HI Si

Does Griff know you've written a poem about him?

:0-)

Flash

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-02 09:39:34
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Tut, tut now Flash...

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 2005-07-02 22:34:20
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Excellent Eduardo! I wouldn't have the guts to try this! Dazza.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-02 23:19:19
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Many thanks Dazza for reading and the very kind comment. Glad you liked it.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-03 01:17:23
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Loved this for I joke all the time with Len that it's all about 'me'........ what a clever way to bring this one home.

Wonderfully done.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-03 01:24:14
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Hi Jolen.
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I'm glad that you liked it.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

soman on 2005-07-03 08:32:26
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Thank you for introducing us to Poetry of the Twentysecond Century, and giving us plenty of time to catch up! (Or is it twentythird?)

Regards,

Soman

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-03 09:52:07
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Hi Soman,

Don't ask me...I don't even know which century I'm in now lol.

Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment, much appreciated.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2005-07-03 11:56:39
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Excellent idea! Enjoyed it. 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-03 12:09:05
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Thanks John for reading and commenting. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-07-03 13:59:07
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
hey Si...this was something different and original...im pretty sure that it worked....it was just fine...il give you an 9 for this....its really good...must'v taken ages for you to get the model right. but it looks fine to me now..
take care
keep your original work up.
xXx...:::...BaBy PoEt...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-03 16:20:53
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Thanks BP for taking the time to read and comment. I'm pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-07-04 16:01:15
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
This is really neat Si.. Have you thought it may be good enough for the Turner prize??.. ((-; Hehehe.. Love Valxx

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 16:51:36
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
I don't know about the Turner prize more like the Turnip prize lol.

Thanks for reading and commenting Val.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Hazy on 2005-07-04 18:48:27
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Love the way you got the heart in caps 🙂

Didn't think I was a fan of modern art 'til I visited the Tate Modern. One of my fave places in London now. Can see this in there, for sure! I've decided a lot of modern art is ironic.

Loved it. Really, loved it. A fave read for me.

Hazy x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 19:49:52
Re: THE ONE...THE EGO...THE SELF
Hi Hazy,

Many thanks for reading and commenting. More like modern fart, heh heh.

Thank you for picking it as fave too!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


BONNIE & CLYDE (posted on: 27-06-05)
EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOT...



Bonnie was beautiful, blonde with shimmering cobalt eyes that shone with life. Her figure was full, but not too much. Her breasts were pert and her nipples felt aroused and rose beneath the flimsiest of coverings. A woman in her prime, alluring and sexual, she could feel herself moistening as trepidation mounted. She always got like this when she satwaiting, the tension growing like her passions. She turned her face to her partnerGod how she wanted himNOW! But that would have to wait and she would have to arrest her feelings and desires until the job was done; besides all he would do is screech like an animal and give the game away. Bonnie could have any man she wanted, and believe me she had had many, but Clyde was different. Gentle yet firm, he took no crap and did what he wanted, when he wanted She liked that. She had forgotten how they met, some seedy bar more than likely. She remembered that he was with a guy who reminded her of Clint Eastwood. But that was a long, long time ago. Looking at him sitting in the passenger seat, she admired his long, muscular arms and his leathery, tanned face. After this job, she vowed to get him some treatment for his hair problem. She loved him and he loved her, she was sure of that, although he never told her. A car pulling up brought her attention back to the present. Scowling, she looked from the man now opening the doors and entering the building, to the cold, dark pistol nestling on her firm thighs. 'This is going to be easy,' she thought, stroking the barrel playfully. Clyde started to take an interest as he saw her hand moving. The object not what he wanted, he snorted and started to pick his nose. ''Jesus, Clyde! Do you have to do that in public?'' Bonnie reprimanded, turning away in disgust as he slipped the offending finger from his nose to his mouth. ''Your just like a fucking ape sometimes, do you know that?'' she scolded. Clyde shuffled in his seatthen farted. Obviously insulted by her remark he let Bonnie know his true feelings on the matter. ''Right, you stay here and guard the car. And for Christ's sake, open a window,'' Bonnie told him as she wrinkled her pretty face. Clyde gazed at her with his large, brown eyes and smiledwell sort of. She smiled back. She could never be angry with himwell not for long. She leaned over and kissed him, then, opening the car door, she swung her elegant, long, legs out onto the sidewalk. ''Don't talk to strangers now, my darling,'' she whispered, closing the door. Clyde watched her hips swaying pleasingly as she made her way up the steps and into the bank. He was on his third banana when Bonnie tore open the door and threw a large 'BANK OF SAN FERNANDO VALLEY' canvas bag stuffed to the brim with 'Benjamin Franklins' onto the backseat. ''Did you miss me?'' she asked coyly, then, gunning the engine, the pair screeched away from the kerbside, leaving a thick, pungent cloud of fumes. Clyde grabbed a handful of 'green' and glanced from the money to his banana. ''That's right honey, from now on it's all the bananas you can eat!'' He grunted his approval and shoved the cash down Bonnie's top making her feel the stir of passion once more. Behind them, a siren wailed as they hit the road out of town. ''Here we go again,'' Bonnie said as she hit the gas pedal with her 'oh so cute' foot. "Right turn, Clyde." Clyde leaned out of the window, red hair dancing like flames around him. As the police car came into view he slowly raised his left hand and grinning, he gave the fuzz his famous one-finger salute. SIMON MURPHY 2005 * Apparantly Bonnie Parker apart from killing and helping to rob banks, wrote poetry, nice girl. Clyde (real name Manis in the first film.) the Orangutan didn't rob banks...nor did he write poetry.
Archived comments for BONNIE & CLYDE
tai on 2005-06-27 11:37:08
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
A compelling read Si, I cringed a bit too, which is good.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 11:55:38
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
Ta Tai, I'm glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-06-27 14:08:31
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
So, did she and Clyde make out? No, I don't want to know...rofl...

Great read, Si! 🙂

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-27 14:19:49
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
Great funny piece hun.

Enjoyed this one a lot. Love the combination of them. ;^)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 15:43:58
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
Who knows!

Cheers Steve.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 15:44:58
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
Many thanks Claire I'm glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

discopants on 2005-06-29 05:07:59
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
I think you've had some fun writing this one and it was only after I'd read it that I twigged the description -Every which way but loot- cue groan...

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-29 08:53:24
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
Hi Discopants,

Yeah, I did have some fun writing it. Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting.

Si:-)


Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-24 13:36:11
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
Being a fan of bad pun's, I have to tell you......This one is tops in the bad pun's.......lmao......Clever, funny, and strangly arousing for some odd reason, which I fear I may have to do some serious thinking on...........LMAO..... Well, it sure gave me a giggle and that's alllllllllllll Goooooooooooood!!!!

Thank you for giving me a morning surge....

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-24 13:47:10
Re: BONNIE & CLYDE
Hi Jolen,

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

You found this strangely arousing...what ever floats ya boat girl lol.

I'm glad that you it gave you a giggle.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jen_Christabel on 16-11-2005
BONNIE & CLYDE
Nicely twisted with the oran-utan!
Jen :o)
p.s. Where was Clint?!

Author's Reply:


LOCK OF HAIR (posted on: 24-06-05)


You're gone my love, far, far away In a land whose name I cannot say Remembering farewells in a dusty yard Of kisses so true and dreams now marred But on my own I now stand and stare In teary streams with your lock of hair SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for LOCK OF HAIR
MercuryRapids on 2005-06-24 13:47:41
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Lovely.

Tell me you didn't copy it from a 'Farewell' greetings card! lol

Another nice, little piece, fella. 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-24 14:13:39
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Might have done...

Ta for the comment.

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2005-06-24 18:58:28
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Hi Si, this really pulled on the heartstrings - a beautiful poem.

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-24 19:13:45
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Hi Emma, really glad that liked it.

Thanks for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 2005-06-24 21:30:29
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Meloncholia without treacle, nice touch, Dazza.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-24 21:53:47
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Cheers Dazza, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

woodbine on 2005-06-25 04:45:49
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
I can't help thinking this would make an excellent song for Roy Orbison. I can see him with those dark glasses and hear the opening bars and his pasionate wail:

In teary streams'
dadda dum, dadda dum
with your lock of hai-ai-air.

All the best,
John

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-25 14:14:24
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Aye, I never thought of that John, lol.

Thank you John for taking the time to read and comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-06-26 02:57:43
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Parting is such sweet sorrow! just sprang to mind, I think someone famous said it first though! A beautiful little poem Simon.

All the better for reading it

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-26 03:24:13
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Thank you Tai for reading and commenting.
I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-07 23:54:06
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
What a powerfully evocative poem........ I enjoyed this a great deal.. Thank you...

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-08 06:02:02
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Hi Jolen,

Thanks for reading and commenting, I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 20:02:01
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
Not only do you possess the ability to make me laugh a great deal, you have a sensitive and very nostalgic and poignant side... Beautifully sad and so very well written.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 20:06:51
Re: LOCK OF HAIR
I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this piece Jolen, sad though it is.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Romany on 07-03-2006
LOCK OF HAIR
Well Si, I don't know what you mean about not being able to write rhyming verse. Seems suspiciously like a rhyming poem to me. A good one at that, too.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Your on the ball tonight Sue!

Fanking you for finking its a goodun.

Si:-)

Still find rhyming hard to do...



HAROLD THE DIM (posted on: 20-06-05)
A very disturbing piece for me, about a mentally challenged guy called Harold.

Very hard to write without going too much over the top.
Will probably clean it up later.
Si

Harold the dim is what he is known
Shuffling and muttering, talking to himself
I watch as the kids taunt and poke fun
Smiling he joins in, laughing at himself
I tell them to go and they leave with abuse
He looks confused with hurt in his eyes
And I realise, friends are what he sees in them
He knows no ill and laughs and laughs
And while I struggle to make some sense
I do know ill and I cry and cry


SIMON MURPHY 2005



Archived comments for HAROLD THE DIM
tai on 2005-06-20 12:03:52
Re: HAROLD THE DIM
Hi Simon, a very difficult subject and you have handled it beautifully. All human emotion, misconceptions and prejudices combined in this one.

You have compassionate eyes and a very good way of expressing it in your pen.

Smiling

tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-20 12:12:50
Re: HAROLD THE DIM
You are far too kind Tai, many thanks for reading and your wonderful comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2005-06-20 13:26:01
Re: HAROLD THE DIM
Just a coupla comments, mate. Is there an 'as' missing from the end of the first line?
and if you are up for suggestions.....
perhaps take the 'and out of line 2
'as the' and 'and' out of 3
comma after smiling 4
And I didn't like the two himselfs - you could just chop the second (at himself) and it makes sense.
l5 take out 'and'
l6 take out 'with' and I think taking all the conjunctions out would give the poem more rhythm and immediacy
how he sees them?
'make some sense'..... of what? of it? of life? you need to terminate it.

Anyway, It's your poem, just immediate suggestions as you say you're going to work on it...
I like 'I do know ill/do no ill' 🙂


Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-20 13:38:04
Re: HAROLD THE DIM
Hi Griff,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

I have read your comments and will probably use some of them. I wasn't happy with the piece, but somehow I felt lost as what to put without just banging away (no smut intended) and ending up with a long piece full of crap and it going nowhere.

Thanks again your input means a lot.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-06-20 13:40:13
Re: HAROLD THE DIM
I thought you handled this really well Si, is that a typo at the end or am I reading it wrong.. Know/no?
love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-20 15:00:07
Re: HAROLD THE DIM
Thanks Val for reading and commenting. Typo...er...no...know...it should be know...I think.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-06-24 13:41:47
Re: HAROLD THE DIM
A great poem, Si. Very emotional, I actually welled up reading it (soppy bugger, I know).

I won't suggest any 'improvements', cos I didn't see how it could be improved. Keep it up, mate.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-24 14:15:29
Re: HAROLD THE DIM
Here you go fella *hands over a snot-rag*

Ta for the comment and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


DANIEL (posted on: 20-06-05)
I wrote this for my son ages a go and kept it just for me. I was sorting through some pieces when I found it, thought I would share it with you.

Thanks,
Si.


Handed to me a bundle so tiny in form
All wrapped up to keep him so warm

A wrinkled new face set with eyes so blue
Innocence before me, a heart so true

Life goes by and he starts to walk
He smiles and giggles and then he can talk

I play with him and we laugh all the day
When mummy comes home we have lots to say

First day at school, I start to give myself a fright
He returns with new friends, my big boy is alright

As the years roll by I see him grow
Proud of achievements and support when he's low

Although he is young not nine when this I write
A good man he will be, his love shines like a light

Daniel is the boy who I watch play and run
Daniel is the boy who smiles as he has fun
Daniel is the name of my perfect wonderful son

To my son Daniellove always Daddy.


Simon Murphy 2004

Archived comments for DANIEL
Claire on 2005-06-21 13:54:46
Re: DANIEL
They are wonderful little treasure ain't they... ;^)

Those first few years are amazing as they grow so fast then. Then they seem to stop for a while, then within a blink of an eye they've become a teenager... that is when I wish they were still wrapped up in their shawls in my arms, it's hard watching them open their wings and live their own life...

Great poem hun.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-21 17:36:45
Re: DANIEL
Ta Claire, yep they grow up so quick.

Ta for reading.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-06-24 13:43:38
Re: DANIEL
Bless him... 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-24 14:14:09
Re: DANIEL
Ta...

Author's Reply:


FOXHOLE (posted on: 20-06-05)
A night in Hell...

FOXHOLE

Rain falls in large cold tears
I'm sat with a man who knows no fears
Poncho pulled tight against my chin
Waiting patiently for the artillery din
BOOM! Away goes the first wave far overhead
I grin and hope that the enemy is dead
I stare at my companion and he stares back
I'm pretty sure he said his name was Mack
Charlie fires, blood and cordite, what a reek
I shoot my weapon but my friend remains meek
I shout and curse but he makes no sound
And I realise I'm alone in this hole in the ground


SIMON MURPHY 2005

Archived comments for FOXHOLE
tai on 2005-06-20 08:27:59
Re: FOXHOLE
Hi Simon, you describe the hell of war so vividly. Disturbing work, but so is the subject.

Great read

All the best

Tai

Author's Reply:

chrissy on 2005-06-20 08:40:36
Re: FOXHOLE
A very direct and well written piece. Excellent description of an awful situation.
Well done,
chrissy

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-20 09:01:45
Re: FOXHOLE
Hi Tai,

Many thanks for your comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-20 09:02:59
Re: FOXHOLE
Hi Chrissy,

Ta for taking the time to read and for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-06-20 11:14:45
Re: FOXHOLE
Good one Eddie.. nice to see you posting again . Love Val x

Author's Reply:

richardwatt on 2005-06-20 11:27:55
Re: FOXHOLE
I echo what Bradene said, Eddie. I was however disturbed by how close the poem's narrator was getting to this fellow Poncho!

rickx

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-20 11:55:10
Re: FOXHOLE
Hi Val,

Ta for the comment...yeah having another go!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-20 11:56:28
Re: FOXHOLE
Heh heh...I like it.

Cheers Rick for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-20 14:53:25
Re: FOXHOLE
An awful situation written so well. Good to see you posting more. ;^)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-20 15:01:54
Re: FOXHOLE
Ta Claire for your time in reading and for the comment.

Yeah slowly getting there.

Ta again,
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2005-06-20 21:09:55
Re: FOXHOLE
Simon, I enjoyed your poem, and I feel the poem pointed out the importance of human company in such awful situations. Nice one.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-21 01:24:32
Re: FOXHOLE
I thought this very well-written Si.

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-21 08:48:17
Re: FOXHOLE
Thanks Kat for reading and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-06-23 02:20:11
Re: FOXHOLE
A stark little piece SI.


Flash

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-23 09:11:56
Re: FOXHOLE
Cheers Flash, Ta for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-23 23:50:39
Re: FOXHOLE
Excellent - x littleditty x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-24 08:46:01
Re: FOXHOLE
Thank you Littyditty for your kind comment, I pleased you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-06-24 13:45:46
Re: FOXHOLE
Great poem, Si.



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-24 14:12:02
Re: FOXHOLE
Ta Steve, glad you liked it.
Ed

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-24 17:10:23
Re: FOXHOLE
Many thanks Dargo for your kind comments. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-06-25 11:06:46
Re: FOXHOLE
Very powerful and telling...reminded me of a scene in the 1930 "All Quiet on the Western Front", though in that it was obvious that the Frenchman was dead from the start - this came more as a shock. Yes, this guy certainly is alone....

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-25 14:19:36
Re: FOXHOLE
Thanks Roy for reading and commenting. I have this poem on another site, one particular feedback comment was that the guy had thought the other man had 'bugged out' and lost his nerve.

You are correct that the other man was actually dead, and the other guy didn't know until the fighting started....but I suppose that's the beauty of poetry, everybody can see something different.

Thanks again.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

dylan on 2005-06-25 20:38:45
Re: FOXHOLE
I may be in a minority here, but this does nothing for me. It certainly doesn`t conjure up the taste, smell or fear of a foxhole.
Apart from many of the rhymes sounding forced,I feel this particular subject would be best captured in blank verse.
For example, in dealing with the death of a comrade-"I stare at my companion and he stares back/I’m pretty sure he said his name was Mack" sounds trivial to these jaundiced ears.
Poetry is subjective by it`s very nature-it may be that this style simply isn`t to my taste.





Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-25 23:02:04
Re: FOXHOLE
Firstly, many thanks Dylan for taking the time to read and comment.

Secondly, I'm sorry that this did nothing for you but feel that as I do not have 'first hand experience' on the subject my attempt in rhyme was satisfactory.

I could have written this differently but wanted to keep the piece short without going into too much detail.

'I stare at my companion and he stares back/I’m pretty sure he said his name was Mack" Was intended to show that he didn't know the man and couldn't remember his name and all that mattered was when the shit hit the fan he wasn't alone. Maybe I could have expanded more between the two men, but I felt that the piece was just the right length and that the reader could assume what the converstaion they might have had and what had happened to the dead man.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 2005-06-26 19:59:35
Re: FOXHOLE
Write this again, the potential is huge and so is yours. Dazza.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-26 20:23:52
Re: FOXHOLE
Cheers Dazza for taking the time to read and comment.

There is potential there to expand this piece and I thank you for thinking I have potential. Maybe one day I may re-write.

Ta,
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2005-06-26 21:59:51
Re: FOXHOLE
Simon, I am serious here. I hope you realise it's for you. I know you have the will to write, I know you have the seeds of good expresssion (eg Coffee Moment). This piece, however kind others may be, is simply lacking - in many ways. My feeling is you rush at things... don't. Take a breath. Pause, consider what you have learnt, or go back and recap. One piece in ten that 'speaks' is worth more than many posts. Friends tell you the truth, however unpleasant. You believe what you choose. That's all. 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 00:14:43
Re: FOXHOLE
Cheers Griff for talking the time to read and comment.
I will take on board what you and others have said.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2005-06-27 11:31:02
Re: FOXHOLE
ooh, didn't mean to sound so pompous! sorry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-27 11:56:47
Re: FOXHOLE
No worries Griff.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


VOYAGE (posted on: 10-06-05)
Life...Inspired by a friend who gets wound up over things that she can't put her finger on. I wrote this for her...push through the dark and the sun always awaits you. First poem in a long time...it may stink some, but I just wanted to share it. Thanks, Si.

Azure and emerald tipped with wings of angel white Collide and curse against the stern bow of life and being Frigid spray stings, sightless, I perceive no heading Nor beacon to keep safe from harshness all around My tiller is turned to guide away from expectations To turn back before the swirling maelstrom appears Yet the journey I'm on started so long, long ago A shame, I think to return with no gallant tales So on I press with dark skies and thunder aloud On my soaring ship, standing fast we sail regardless On, until into a shining sapphire of heaven I emerge Then seeing a haven to anchor; I know I'm safe and sound SIMON MURPHY 2005
Archived comments for VOYAGE
Flash on 2005-06-10 11:20:00
Re: VOYAGE
Jusp popped into say i read this, kinda shocked me as it's not your usual style.

Loads of flourishing, creative imaginaton expressed here. Don't know if it's a good poem or not but i thought it was pretty good.

Flash

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-10 11:47:00
Re: VOYAGE
Cheers Flash,
This is the first piece I have written in over 8 months and it just came to me, I was up until 2:30 in the morning!

I must admit that after I had written and then tinkered with it I liked the outcome.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-10 17:44:28
Re: VOYAGE
Hi Si, you should be proud of this little gem. You obviously still have the knack even though it's been a while since you wrote anything.

Excellent descriptions used in this. Wonderful piece. Thumbs up. ;^)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-10 18:31:00
Re: VOYAGE
Thanks Claire, glad you liked it and ta for the rate too.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-06-11 15:28:44
Re: VOYAGE
I liked this a lot - a vivid, romantic picture and a meaningful story, too. Very well written, I thought.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-11 15:56:47
Re: VOYAGE
Hi Roy,
Many thanks for your comments and I'm so glad that you enjoyed it.

Cheers.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-06-12 11:21:08
Re: VOYAGE
Hi eddie, A lovely journey this took me on. You describe life very well indeed, and so romantically.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-12 13:30:42
Re: VOYAGE
Hi Tai,

Many thanks for the lovely comments, so pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

AnthonyEvans on 2005-06-12 17:08:21
Re: VOYAGE
i liked this mr solo, all except for the final stanza which seems rather glib and wishful-thinking-like. best wishes, anthony.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-12 17:32:10
Re: VOYAGE
Cheers Anthony for reading the piece, I know what you mean about the ending but we all have to have some hope and a place to be calm and safe, even for only a little while.

Ta again.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-13 02:22:01
Re: VOYAGE
You've made great use of your metaphor Si - a really lovely poem for your friend. A very 'noble' poem with wonderful control.

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-13 11:26:23
Re: VOYAGE
Hi Kat,

Ta for stopping by and commenting.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-06-15 00:35:36
Re: VOYAGE
A wonderfully evocative piece, Si. I almost felt your life's journey in those few, short lines.

Well done!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-15 00:54:20
Re: VOYAGE
Cheers Steve, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


TO RIDE A SWAN (posted on: 12-11-04)
Travelling through life...for me.

Silently I soar through veils of transparency
Ghostly layers of life experiences
From beginnings so low to peaks so lofty
Fortunes gained and lost with ease
Love excites yet also hurts so deep
Whatever storms and sunsets I see
I ride my swan to my destiny

Simon Murphy 2004



Archived comments for TO RIDE A SWAN
tai on 2004-11-13 22:54:49
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
I love this.

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-11-14 04:39:16
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
I'm glad that you liked it Tai.
Many thanks for the rate as well.

Si:-)


Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-11-14 04:40:06
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
oops, should be here, sorry Tai...

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2004-11-14 04:56:02
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
A lovely ethereal feel to this poem, which I enjoyed reading

Emma:)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-11-14 05:11:34
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
Thank you Emma, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Penprince on 2004-11-14 06:30:59
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
This is so well written...Eddy! I like the imagery and flow...EXCELLENT work...

D

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-11-14 06:43:49
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
Thanks Debs, so very pleased that you enjoyed it.

Cheers for the rate as well!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2004-11-14 07:00:31
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
Loved this one to bits.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-11-14 07:02:37
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
Many thanks Dargo, I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this. Thanks for the rate too!

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2004-11-14 07:43:26
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
This is a little Gem Simon, very picturesque. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-11-14 07:48:15
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
Hi Val, many thanks for the comment and the rate.
Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2004-11-17 09:40:29
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
A beautiful poem...

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-11-17 11:43:26
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
Thank you Kat, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2005-06-15 00:38:31
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
Another great, descriptive piece. Keep em coming, Si! 🙂



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-15 00:54:55
Re: TO RIDE A SWAN
Ta fella.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


FINGER PAINTING (posted on: 29-10-04)
Writing is like painting...they both have 'ing' at the end.

FINGER PAINTING As white as driven snow, blank canvas awaits me Indulgently it sits for a verb here and a noun there Finger like a palette knife, I define a string of expression A smudge of funniness and a courageous splash of pain Hues of storytelling emerge, stratum by stratum With a smile I end and gaze at my work of art I shall sign with a flourish and now hang for all to see Simon Murphy 2004
Archived comments for FINGER PAINTING
Penprince on 2004-10-29 04:15:19
Re: FINGER PAINTING
This is very clever, Eddy...I like your perspectives...

Debashish



Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-10-29 05:18:48
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Simon. Works of heart--or art! are in the eye of the beholder...
Nicely done.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-29 14:04:22
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Many thanks Debashish for the comment, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-29 14:05:19
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Cheers Gerry, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Safron on 2004-10-30 07:52:08
Re: FINGER PAINTING
eddiesolo,

I never thought of that they both end "ing" this is a wonderful poem holds so much Truth and is well done.
I enjoyed.

Safron

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-30 08:57:47
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Many thanks Safron for your comment and rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

flash on 2004-10-30 09:03:06
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Eddie this is the most accomplished piece i've read by you.

I liked the double meaning of the last line, where you run the gauntlet of being hanged yourself for presenting your work.

nice stuff m8

Flash

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-30 14:42:45
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Cheers Flash, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2004-10-31 07:46:40
Re: FINGER PAINTING
hmmm...lovely.

smiling
Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-31 08:35:43
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Many thanks Tai for the comment and the rate. Very pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2004-11-03 06:42:10
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Enjoyed this a lot!

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-11-03 11:32:16
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Many thanks Kat for the comment and the rate.
Glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Lulu on 2005-08-07 12:35:54
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Very clever and nicely done.

xx
Lu

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-07 12:39:06
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Many thnaks Lu for reading some of my oldies!

Gald you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-08-07 12:45:10
Re: FINGER PAINTING
This is really, really good Si, I love the line, 'A smudge of funniness and a courageous splash of pain'! excellent expression of the writers craft here. Thanks to Lu for resurrecting it too.

9 from me.

Smiling

Tai


Author's Reply:

Lulu on 2005-08-07 13:01:11
Re: FINGER PAINTING
My pleasure totally Tai! 😉

xx
Lu

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-07 16:15:54
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Gosh thanks Tai.

I'm glad that you enjoyed my writing by numbers.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-07 16:16:39
Re: FINGER PAINTING
Ta again Lu!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


SEASONS (posted on: 18-10-04)
A piece about the seasons.

Fresh is the springtime, a breath of newness and life
Showers cleanse and wash the earth so rich and brown
Tender, babyish shoots reach out eagerly, searching
Above them the young of many, tumble and play

Summer comes with long warm days and glitter filled nights
A vibrant, bountiful time for feasting, fun and frivolities
Listen in on lovers as they chatter sweet nothings
Sea-spray enlivens the senses as hand in hand they stroll

Autumn leaves turn rusty in rain, a ruddy smudged charm
Low sun on bare and forlorn limbs that reach out questioningly
Long elegant shadows point towards the evening of the year
Homes all snug, made warm and cosy for the cold that lay ahead

Winter arrives with a chill in his step, crunching crystal underfoot
A glow from windows keeps the cold at bay, inviting and secure
Snowflakes float like angels, filling the air with godly reverence
Quiescent, the land veiled from view, life awaits a new season

Simon Murphy 2004



Archived comments for SEASONS
Penprince on 2004-10-18 04:41:01
Re: SEASONS
EXCELLENT poem on the four seasons....I like your descriptions of Autumn...

D

PS...pls whittle it down a bit...

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-18 15:58:25
Re: SEASONS
Cheers Debashish for the nice comment.

I had thought of trimming it down but wanted to convey as much about the seasons in just 4 lines.
I thought that only 2 lines a piece would not work...for me.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Safron on 2004-10-19 20:42:06
Re: SEASONS
eddiesolo,

I love poetry of the seasons this is so beautiful you capture them in visual colorful parades I enjoyed each seasons description.


Safron

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-20 02:46:16
Re: SEASONS
Many thanks for your kind comment and the rate. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2004-10-20 08:46:02
Re: SEASONS
This is a very vivid and a beautiful Ode to Autumn, type poem. I think you could tighten it very slightly with a tiny amount of editing, but it's only a thought.

I love winter and enjoyed this read very much indeed.

All the best
Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-20 17:01:07
Re: SEASONS
Thank you Tai for the comment and the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2004-10-20 21:44:05
Re: SEASONS
Some lovely images here - flows very effortlessly.

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-21 02:43:05
Re: SEASONS
Thanks Kat, very glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-10-21 09:03:55
Re: SEASONS
A brilliantly descriptive poem. Nice one! They just keep getting better and better, fella 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-10-21 10:16:34
Re: SEASONS
Thanks Steve, glad you liked it.

Ed.

Author's Reply:


SANDALS AND SOCKS (posted on: 24-09-04)
A piece about an overweight guy (of which I am one) on a beach.
Inspired by a holiday in the sun.

SANDALS AND SOCKS Stood beneath palm trees under a blazing sun Gazing at bodies beautiful, playing having fun Sweat runs down and drips off a red squat nose Eyes watching hunks in Speedos who pose XL t-shirt all stained clinging to vast rolls Wishing he was one of these gorgeous souls A topless girl draped, suns on the rocks He can't compete, not in his sandals and socks Simon Murphy 2004
Archived comments for SANDALS AND SOCKS
Penprince on 2004-09-24 01:49:42
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
I like the playful rhyming in this, Eddy!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-24 03:03:53
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Cheers, just a silly piece really.

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2004-09-24 05:11:37
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Enjoyed this Simon, could just imagine the scene, just a little typo to fix in 1st line.. Trees. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

ritawrites on 2004-09-24 06:00:54
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
oh yeah, I know the feeling – get on Atkins then see how they come running (just joking) – fun read

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-09-24 08:53:02
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
They can't lock you up for what you're thinking. lol

Nice one Simon...

Gerry

Author's Reply:

niki on 2004-09-24 09:03:15
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
hope is not lost, we ladies like guys with character. all you need do is lose the socks and sandals. problem solved! needless to say, liked the poem 🙂

niki x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-24 11:10:30
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Thanks for the typo notice, will change.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-24 11:11:10
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Cheers Rita glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-24 11:11:51
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Ta Gerry! Thaanks for the comment and the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-24 11:13:35
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Thanks Niki, I don't wear socks with sandals but I did see a few!

Thanks for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-25 18:29:14
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Yep! That's me 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-25 18:32:05
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Heh heh!

Ta for the comment and the vote.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 16:35:16
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Si,

Very pleasing rhyme in this, also it seems to me to speak to much more as too often are only judged on those 'sandals and socks'........ I think it's important to look deeper, but then I'm mad...... lol

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 17:38:04
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Ta Jolen,

I've dropped the socks but insist on the string vest and hanky on my head.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 19:56:09
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Good to here Si, as one never knows when a 'hankie' will be useful........ lol......... ;o)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 19:56:55
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
See what you do to me? *Hear* not here.... shit!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 20:03:47
Re: SANDALS AND SOCKS
Lol...it's the string vest it's made you go all silly.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN (posted on: 13-09-04)
An angry written piece about the life of some children.

WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN Hardly a life, thin and feeble a tot lays next to a dying mother Others un-shoed, scamper like flies on mountains of rot and filth More I see, barely ten of age, yielding an AK47 like a prized toy These are our future and what do we give? A word of sorry and maybe two pounds a month Help indeed for unfortunates governed by so called adults Pah! I spit on their policies and ignorant blind greed Money I gladly give, but more much more I weep for the children. Simon Murphy 2004
Archived comments for WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
uppercase on 2004-09-13 07:06:41
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
I weep for them also...I like this one it's very real in todays world...Erma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-13 09:29:28
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Hi, Erma, glad you liked this and thanks for the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2004-09-13 09:34:31
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Simon, very well put together. I saw the picture you painted with your very descriptive words.
Dargo

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-13 09:42:00
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Hi Dargo,

Many thanks for your kind words and the rate! So pleased that you enjoyed this piece.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2004-09-13 10:35:53
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Simon I think the concept of your poem is wonderful love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-13 10:53:04
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Hi Val,

Thank you for the comment and the rate, glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Penprince on 2004-09-13 13:17:37
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Powerful and so well written...

Debashish

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-13 13:25:44
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Thank you Debashish, your comment means a lot.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-09-13 14:13:17
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Simon- all right thinking people will agree with your sentiments here.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-13 15:20:30
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Thanks for the comment Gerry.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2004-09-13 18:20:28
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Hello Si, Yes, weeping for them shows our concern, and writing it, spreads the message that we must and can, change the way our world is!

Nice work:)

Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-14 02:36:52
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Many thanks Tai, for the comment and the rate.
Glad you liked it.

Si:-)


Author's Reply:

ritawrites on 2004-09-14 05:21:38
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
yeah, me too -- great write

Author's Reply:

OolonColoophid on 2004-09-14 05:34:37
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
I agree with you, Simon. A well-written, angry poem.

Author's Reply:

pencilcase on 2004-09-14 08:14:35
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
This is very powerful, of course: punchy; short and to the point; heartfelt. I found it a strong and effective expression.

As tai has already touched on, we can only do our bit. This may seem totally insignificant, but words can make powerful messages and the pen might yet prove to be mightier than the AK47.

A courageous and worthy submission.

steve

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-14 08:40:21
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Thanks Ian for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-14 08:41:20
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Cheers Rita, pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-14 08:43:27
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Many thanks Steve, for the wonderful comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2004-09-14 21:14:19
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Great piece of work!

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-15 02:04:16
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Hi Kat, thanks for the comment and the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Skeeter on 2004-09-16 12:35:24
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
yes, it makes me really really angry. Thanks for writing about this, and so passionately too. Something has to change. It cannot be left to politicians, they do nothing, in fact they cause the problems. Have done ever since they came along. I hope more and more people will take things into their own hands until we solve together the problems that governments and business have caused. I join you in your rage.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-16 13:44:41
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Hi Skeeter, thanks for the comment. Most people are good until they get a bit of power...

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-25 18:25:01
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Great emotion conveyed with this piece, Edd. This is obviously something you have thought about a great deal. Thanks.

p.s.

'yielding an AK47 like a prised toy'

shouldn't that be

'yielding an AK47 like a prized toy'?

Sorry for being petty 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-25 18:30:10
Re: WEEPING FOR THE CHILDREN
Yes you are correct Steve, it should be prized.

Cheers.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


RESPECT (posted on: 10-09-04)
A short piece about respect.

I respect the soldier that goes to fight
I respect my parents for raising me right
I respect my wife for my wonderful son
I respect the man who tried but never won
I respect this world with its trees so tall
But most of all my respects to you all

Simon Murphy 2004


Archived comments for RESPECT
royrodel on 2004-09-10 04:44:02
Re: RESPECT
A pleasure to the eye.

RODEL

Author's Reply:

tai on 2004-09-10 05:38:05
Re: RESPECT
A great poem at the heart of it all!

Tai

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2004-09-10 06:09:15
Re: RESPECT
sweet thought!

Author's Reply:

Penprince on 2004-09-10 07:10:19
Re: RESPECT
Nice sentiments...concise and well written!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-10 09:00:08
Re: RESPECT
Thanks Roy, glad you liked it.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-10 09:39:14
Re: RESPECT
Many thanks Tai, and thanks for the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-10 09:41:19
Re: RESPECT
Cheers Griff!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-10 09:41:19
Re: RESPECT
Cheers Griff!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-10 09:41:21
Re: RESPECT
Cheers Griff!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2004-09-10 09:41:34
Re: RESPECT
A little gem Simon. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-10 09:42:15
Re: RESPECT
Made a mess of that!! LOL.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-10 09:44:03
Re: RESPECT
Thank you for the comment Debashish,
glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-10 09:45:55
Re: RESPECT
Cheers Val! Not a lot of respect in the world it seems, so I thought just a few lines to say...I RESPECT.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2004-09-11 04:25:36
Re: RESPECT
A nice message and poem

Emma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-11 05:39:37
Re: RESPECT
Many thanks Emma, glsd you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2004-09-11 05:45:50
Re: RESPECT
Simon, I enjoyed this.
Dargo

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-11 05:56:37
Re: RESPECT
Thank you Dargo, very pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

gacampbell on 2004-09-11 12:46:44
Re: RESPECT
Hi, Si, how's it going, mate? This little gem was cool. It's like one of the wee ditties you hear some flamboyant character in a movie recite just before some key scene. Nice.

Tony

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-11 15:47:01
Re: RESPECT
Hi Tony, not doing too bad. Cheers for the comment, gld you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-09-15 14:49:29
Re: RESPECT
Simon--not much respect about these days.
It's nice to se you express it in this little ditty.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-16 01:57:20
Re: RESPECT
Hi Gerry,

Cheers for the comment and the rate. Your right not much respect these days.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-25 18:21:46
Re: RESPECT
Perfect! Thanks, Edd 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-25 18:31:04
Re: RESPECT
TA!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 15:21:29
Re: RESPECT
I respect your immeasurable wit
I respect that this poem is a hit
I respect you having a bit of fun
I respect this is a bit of some
I respect your humor and flair
I respect that you seem to care.

What a nice little ode to respect, Si,

I had some fun and even learned a few things. So my comments is entirely on the up and up.. Now, that's respect!!!!

Blessings,
Jolen (having some fun with Si) *wink, wink*

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 15:28:22
Re: RESPECT
Jolen, many thanks to you for reading and your wonderful counter poem.

Si:-)

PS You want to watch that winking business, others on this site might think your going...mad *wink...twitch*

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 15:45:13
Re: RESPECT
Not to worry, Si..... Anyone that knows me at all knows that I've been mad for a very long time..... But it works for me so I respect that..... LOL
;o)

Author's Reply:


JUST ONE MORE (posted on: 22-08-04)
The pain of an alcoholic.

JUST ONE MORE

Just one more that's all, the need swells within
Tremulous hand opens a bottle of life
Life! What life.
From crystal glass to straight from the bottle
Lips greedily accept that smooth cold rim
I gulp
Harshness burns the throat but the malt is kindness
Warmth flows through this pickled body
Dreams of the past cascade around me
The ache of guilt rips my abused organs apart
Soon the torment will go as I drown this angel of conscience
Stupor will follow as I drink deep
Tomorrow may come, a new start, to turn over a new leaf
Conning myself I can kick this habit
But that is for the morrow
For now I need just one more
To quell the feelings of hopelessness and fear
To help me through just one more lonely night


Simon Murphy 2004


Archived comments for JUST ONE MORE
Gerry on 2004-08-23 06:41:31
Re: JUST ONE MORE
Must be an awful state to be in. Difficult to imagine.

You captured it well.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2004-08-23 07:15:27
Re: JUST ONE MORE
I cannot speak for everyone of course, but from my own experience (my first husband was an alcoholic)
most of the time they are in denial, at least my husband was, to him his drinking was just social. he could never see or acknowledge the pain he was causing me and his daughters, as long as he had a drink in his hands and entertaining his friends then he was happy. It eventually killed him, if I sound bitter it is because deep down I think I may be. He was basically a lovely man, but he loved the drink more than he loved his family. The pity of it is we never knew why, we loved him to bits. Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-23 09:06:17
Re: JUST ONE MORE
Thank you Gerry, it must be hard to imagine the suffering for the person involved and their family and friends.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-23 09:07:10
Re: JUST ONE MORE
Thank you Val and I'm sorry to hear about your first husband.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

dancing-queen on 2004-08-23 11:08:00
Re: JUST ONE MORE
Wow, Simon, that was put together brilliantly. My Grandad was a bit of a drinker. Doesn't appeal to me personally. I have just as good a time when I'm sober (and it's cheaper, lol). But I guess a lot of people who drink heavily, do so to wipe away their problems to begin with - and then when the problems are no longer there, they then have a habit that's hard to break. This poem captured it well. DQ

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-23 11:28:38
Re: JUST ONE MORE
Hi DQ,

Many thanks for the comment. Addiction is hard. At the moment I'm having a real problem trying to kick ciggies. I stopped for 3 years no problem and then started again, now I go nuts without them.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 12:14:48
Re: JUST ONE MORE
I'm like that with kebabs! 😉

Seriously, another excellent, descriptive poem. Well done.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:41:34
Re: JUST ONE MORE
Glad you liked it Steve.
Ed:-)

Author's Reply:


THE WIDER PICTURE (posted on: 22-08-04)
Is life black and white?

THE WIDER PICTURE

Portrayed with death, everyday news
Papers declaring assault and slaughter
Do I watch in widescreen vision?
Or look through blinkered eyes
Which to pick colour or black and white?
Colour for me as nothing is just B&W
Peripheral beauty is difficult to perceive
But if we don't then what's the point?
None at all in this landscape of hell
Yet radiating through are glimmers of hope
A flower in the rain
A smile of a child
And a kiss that says I love you

Simon Murphy 2004


Archived comments for THE WIDER PICTURE
Gerry on 2004-08-23 06:10:03
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Simon, This was nicely done. I am indeed fortunate that I can still enjoy--
"A flower in the rain
A smile of a child
And a kiss that says I love you"

The last one can be from a dog also.
The canine kind of course. lol.

Gerry.



Author's Reply:

ritawrites on 2004-08-23 07:09:17
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
yeah, life’s complex, not b&w – well said --

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-23 09:04:33
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Hi Gerry,
Many thanks for the comment and the rate.
Glad you enjoyed in the piece.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-23 09:05:11
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Thank you Rita, gld you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

uppercase on 2004-08-24 11:59:44
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
I love the last three lines..There is hope.....Erma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-24 12:42:06
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Thanks Erma, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Penprince on 2004-08-25 07:01:33
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
INSPITE of all the pain and chaos, love is the most exclusive object in this world...{though sometimes elusive}}

Wonderful poem...

Debashish

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-25 07:29:05
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Thank you Debashish. There is always beauty if we take the time to look around the awfulness of life.

Thanks for the comment.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

shackleton on 2004-08-25 15:13:29
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Hi Simon. Life is most definitely a multi-hued butterfly - a kaleidoscope of ever changing colours - black and grey especially come to the fore. Good poem - well crafted. Bye now.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-25 15:28:35
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Hi Shack,

Many thanks for the comment and the rate.
Pleased you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2004-08-30 08:25:37
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Hi Si, Lovely poem, and yes life is full of love and wonderous things to behold, we just have to look and see!

Love
Tai

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-04 04:30:39
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Hi Tia, many thanks for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 12:23:34
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
A very thoughtful piece. I enjoyed it. Cheers.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:40:48
Re: THE WIDER PICTURE
Ta Steve 🙂

Author's Reply:


TWO MEN IN A PUB (posted on: 20-08-04)
The stimulating discourse between two blokes in a pub.




TWO MEN IN A PUB

''All right?''
''Yeah, you?''
''Yeah, pint?''
''Aye.''
''Nuts, crisps?''
''Not for me.''
''There ya go.''
''Cheers.''
''Cheers.''
''I need this.''
''Yeah.''
''Wife okay?''
''Yeah.''
''Yours?''
''Yeah.''
''Kids?''
''Yeah.''
''Yours?''
''Yeah, doing okay.''
''Job?''
''You know, the usual.''
''You?''
''Can't complain.''
''Car okay?''
''Yeah.''
''Yours?''
''Yeah, still running.''
''Another?''
''No, not for me.''
''Got to get back to the missus.''
''Aye, me too.''
''You know, she thinks all I do is sup beer.''
''Aye, mine too.''
''She doesn't understand the meaningful conversations we have.''
''No, well that's women for ya.''
''Aye, women!''
''See ya next Friday?''
''Yeah, next Friday.''



Simon Murphy 2004


Archived comments for TWO MEN IN A PUB
dancing-queen on 2004-08-20 07:54:01
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
Hahaha - riveting conversation! So that's what they call the highlight of their week? Nice one - DQ

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-20 08:46:10
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
Cheers DQ.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

thehaven on 2004-08-21 15:28:39
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
So that was you standing next to me .Very funny.

Mike

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-21 15:30:53
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
Cheers Mike...see you next Friday.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gee on 2004-08-22 13:36:53
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
I loved this. It made me laugh out loud, especially when I read your introduction to it.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-22 14:56:49
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
Thanks Gee.
Really pleased that it gave you a laugh.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 12:08:54
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
So that's what a pub is like. I remember now! 🙂

Great stuff.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:44:08
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
Know what you mean, its been that long.

Ed.

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 19:59:32
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
LMAO!! You men! Such chatter boxes....... You really must learn to talk less and drink more...... What's this world coming to?

lol......Thanks for the giggles......

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 20:05:15
Re: TWO MEN IN A PUB
Ta for reading and giggling...mines a pint please.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Jen_Christabel on 16-11-2005
TWO MEN IN A PUB
Excellent. I just love humour such as this!
Jen :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jen,

I'm pleased that you enjoyed reading this.

Most kind of you to pop in and have a read.

Thanks.

Si:-)


HEARTBREAK (posted on: 20-08-04)
Sometimes when we break up its hard to let go.

HEARTBREAK

Breaking in two is my heart over you
Together for ever, together we'd be true

Left me for another, for the best is what you said
Can't believe you're never going to share my bed

On my knees I'd be begging for you to stay
Oh God here me now, here the words that I pray

But it's all in vain for you walk out my door
Another chapter has finished yet I wanted more

Alone I stand no warmth from your touch
To be loved and wanted, was that too much?

I hope you're happy with your new found love
For you had to fly like the great white dove

But peace to me you did not bring
As I hold in my hand your engagement ring

Move on I must and find someone else in time
But you will always be with me, you will always be mine

Simon Murphy 2004




Archived comments for HEARTBREAK
ruadh on 2004-08-21 10:47:52
Re: HEARTBREAK
This is one of the hardest things to do, and no matter how hard you try, a small part of them always remains with you. Good poem Simon.

ailsa

Author's Reply:

Penprince on 2004-08-21 12:50:13
Re: HEARTBREAK
WONDERFUL poem on couplets...and emotion is thoughtfully used; I wish the that the narrator will come out of these qualms, since it seems it is necessary

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-21 14:03:23
Re: HEARTBREAK
Thank you Ailsa for the nice comment, it is hard to come to terms with, but I guess that's life.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-21 14:06:47
Re: HEARTBREAK
Many thanks for the comment, I'm really glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-08-21 16:07:01
Re: HEARTBREAK
Simon, I read this yesterday and shirked from comment. I wasn't sure if it was true.
All I can say is--well written, and many will relate (if they are honest)

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-21 16:25:26
Re: HEARTBREAK
Hi Gerry,
Many thanks for the comment.
People have said that poetry should come from your heart and from experiences. Well, this has never happened to me as I fell lucky with a wonderful woman. I wrote this because I know how I would feel if this had happened with someone who I loved dearly.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 12:11:35
Re: HEARTBREAK
[sings]... and every rose has it's thorn. Just like every night has its daw-aw-aw-awn...[/sings]

🙂

Another terrific piece, Edd. Keep it up and the eddiesolo anthology will be a dead cert!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:43:18
Re: HEARTBREAK
Brings a tear to the eye....

Ed

Author's Reply:


THE WAITING (posted on: 20-08-04)
A silly poem about the sad affection for a man and his car.

THE WAITING

Third cup of coffee in Styrofoam cup.
Jesus! Come on guys, please hurry up.

Sitting in this room waiting for you to show.
The suspense is killing me, I got to know!

I watch you move and work on her.
Rubber gloves delving hoping to make her purr.

I catch your eye as you head my way.
I can't stand losing her, anything I will pay.

With bated breath, I wait for you to talk.
My legs are like jelly, I can barely walk.

''We've looked her over and this is what we've found,''
''apart from new brakes, everything is sound.''

''We'll get the brakes sorted and she'll have a new M-O-T,''
''don't worry about a thing she's in good hands you'll see.''

Now gleaming in the sunbeams her curves entice.
A quick check in the rear-view to make sure I look nice.

With a roar of the engine down the road we shall speed.
Me and beautiful Porsche, the only girl I'll ever need.


Simon Murphy 2004

Archived comments for THE WAITING
uppercase on 2004-08-20 08:37:26
Re: THE WAITING
Your car, my husbands Big Bertha golf club. Men and their toy's...good poem I don't think it's silly I think it's true...good one...Erma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-20 08:47:50
Re: THE WAITING
Many thanks Erma for the comment and the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2004-08-20 16:18:17
Re: THE WAITING
The only time my husband gets over excited these days is when he is drooling over a car mag! nice one Si. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-20 19:14:03
Re: THE WAITING
Hi Val.
Thanks for the comment and the rate.



Author's Reply:

woodbine on 2004-08-21 12:09:28
Re: THE WAITING
Hi Eddie,

It's a good story that would read a lot easier
if you scanned it so each couplet had a more even syllable count on both lines. Often it's simply editing out unnecessary words:
I watch you move and work on her.
Rubber gloves delving to make her purr.

and:
“We’ve looked her over and what we’ve found,
apart from new brakes, everything is sound.”

One other thing. Changing the word order solely to
get a rhyme sounds awkward and doesn't do you justice, except where it's so ludicrous that you make a joke of it.

I hope you won't be offended but if you want to perform it, you'll find it a lot easier to get your tongue round and keep the rythm.

Best wishes,

John



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-21 14:01:14
Re: THE WAITING
Cheers John for the comments.

To be honest I hadn't thought about this piece too much. It was done as a silly jokey piece.

If you read my other works they're better.

Cheers again.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

ritawrites on 2004-08-22 03:45:49
Re: THE WAITING
what’s with men and their cars..? for me a car is just something for me to get from one place to another when I can’t foot it… but hey, fun poem to read anyways..

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-22 05:51:57
Re: THE WAITING
Thanks Rita for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 12:12:54
Re: THE WAITING
Porsche? Dream on, fella! 🙂

Great piece - again!

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:42:31
Re: THE WAITING
If it was me it would be a Jag...that didn't sound right:-)

Ed

Author's Reply:

Lulu on 2005-08-07 12:33:01
Re: THE WAITING
Excellent fun! Thanks for that!!!!

xx
Lu

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-08-07 12:37:05
Re: THE WAITING
Thanks Lu for reading and commenting. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


STREETWALKER (posted on: 16-08-04)
Piece about Brandene, a lady of the night.

STREETWALKER

Brandene staresat nothing.
Amber glow smudged through steamed up windows,
giving no warmth to her.
Her stocking slips and she feels it roll down her thigh,
the softness of nylon she feels, but not the coarseness of the man.
He pounds into her like a piston, grunting, snorting, animalistic.
She plays the game and moans back with phoney pleasure.
Enthused by the feedback his pelvic rhythms become more vigorous.
Her neck aches from been pushed against tacky vinyl seat covers.
He cries out as he finishes and she moans again.
The act is over and she leaves without goodbyes.
With money in her purse she stands on the cornerwaiting.
Immersed again in amber glow, it gives no warmth to her,
and Brandene stares once moreat nothing.

Simon Murphy 2004



Archived comments for STREETWALKER
Bradene on 2004-08-16 10:39:28
Re: STREETWALKER
Simon! I'm so GLAD you put an N in that name.. the poems Good however!! Love Val x (-;

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2004-08-16 11:52:12
Re: STREETWALKER
A very stark and disturbing image you have portrayed in this. Well written

Emma

Author's Reply:

uppercase on 2004-08-16 13:18:34
Re: STREETWALKER
Lordy I thought you were talking about bradene there for a moment...Nice work, good one...Erma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-16 13:23:49
Re: STREETWALKER
Thanks Emerald glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-16 13:26:02
Re: STREETWALKER
Heh heh...I was thinking that when I posted it!
I had the name and the first part done ages ago but felt slightly uncomfortable in finishing it off.

Anyway done now.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-16 13:29:46
Re: STREETWALKER
No, I couldn't imagine bradene standing on street corners...too nice for that. Thanks for the comment and the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 11:39:13
Re: STREETWALKER
Another great poem. Very urban and gritty. Well done.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:46:07
Re: STREETWALKER
Thanks Steve.

Ed:-)

Author's Reply:


SIMPLE (posted on: 16-08-04)
Life is simple.

SIMPLE


"Simple is life," said the man.
"We eat or dieit's that simple."
"We drink or dieit's that simple."
"We have babies or dieit's that simple."
"We lie and cheatit's that simple."
"We have God, they have Godit's that simple."
"We have bombs, they have bombsit's that simple."
"We kill or be killedit's that simple."
''But listen not to me my friendfor I am just a simple man.''


Simon Murphy 2004

Archived comments for SIMPLE
dancing-queen on 2004-08-17 11:40:23
Re: SIMPLE
Si - I thought that was excellent, the way you brought it all together at the end '...for I am just a simple man.' I think you must've put a lot of thought into that piece...please don't tell me that is was 'simple', lol. DQx

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-17 13:54:27
Re: SIMPLE
Hi DQ, many thanks for the nice comment and the rate.

I did this piece a while a go and toyed with the idea of posting it. I didn't think it it would get a good response. Initially this piece did seem to stall but at least it has worked with you.

Thanks again.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 11:43:10
Re: SIMPLE
Perfectly simple. Brilliant! 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:45:26
Re: SIMPLE
Many thanks for the comment.

Ed:-)

Author's Reply:


FOREST (posted on: 16-08-04)
I wrote this piece about life. What life means and the good and bad paths we could take. Well that's the meaning behind it.


FOREST


With gentle steps into gloomy interior we make
Snaking paths coil around trunks aged and gnarled
Which way to go? Right or left?
Take note of the birds, their twittering may tell
Sticks crack underfoot as we venture deep
A rustle of foliage betrays something there
Eyes widened as we search in shadows
Nothing to see yet a thousand eyes look back
Sunlight punctures the dismal folds of leaves
Angels beckon to show the way out
Safe and well we shall come this way again
But this time we know the forest holds no fears


Simon Murphy 2004


Archived comments for FOREST
uppercase on 2004-08-16 10:55:34
Re: FOREST
I love this poem. The sunlight compared to angels showing you the way out is brilliant...Erma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-16 13:22:22
Re: FOREST
Thank you Erma, I so glad you enjoyed this.
Thanks again for the comment and the rate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

ritawrites on 2004-08-17 08:29:26
Re: FOREST
You’ve conjured up that mysterious deep forest feel in your poem – I enjoyed it

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-17 09:49:43
Re: FOREST
Thanks Rita, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Penprince on 2004-08-19 13:28:27
Re: FOREST
excellent poem...I love the flow and style...

Debs

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-19 14:33:41
Re: FOREST
Thanks Debs, glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 12:07:37
Re: FOREST
Excellent description. I'm running out of superlatives, fella! 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:44:48
Re: FOREST
Pleased that you enjoyed it Steve.

Ed:-)

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-30 20:03:54
Re: FOREST
Holy shit Batman! He is one hellova writer!!! Excellent images and such a profound message.

loved this to my naughty bits.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-30 20:10:30
Re: FOREST
So glad that your naughty bits enjoyed this jaunt through the forest and not just the bush...Heh, keep it clean this is a family site! lol

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


Ignorance towards the disabled (posted on: 13-08-04)
A short piece about the ignorance shown towards disabled people.

Ignorance towards the disabled

Weaving and pushing I watch it all
As they cut up the blind man, his dog comes to a stall
A woman on crutches forced to swerve
These 'able-bodied' people have got some nerve
Disabled parking means nothing to some
You exit quickly, what's done is done
I see all this in my hometown
What makes it worse is you never look down
For I sit and wait in my wheelchair patiently
But you will serve someone else instead of me
I'm a person with feelings just like you
Now get out of the way I'm coming through!

Simon Murphy 2004

Archived comments for Ignorance towards the disabled
Bradene on 2004-08-13 05:13:19
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
One to make us all think a little more and be aware of others around us. Nice job Simon. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-13 05:15:27
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Thanks Val.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

ritawrites on 2004-08-13 07:25:10
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Yes… out here life’s so hard on the disabled you hardly see them about…they prefer or are forced to stay put indoors… except for those who have no place else but the streets of course..

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-13 09:45:28
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Thanks for the comment Rita. Attitudes towards disabled people need to change not just give them benefits or handouts. They need respect as people.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

ruadh on 2004-08-14 12:16:53
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
well said Si

ailsa

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2004-08-14 14:09:38
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Great poem - wonderful sentiment, especially the bit about lack of eye contact. We are all simply people...simple eh?

Regards
Kat

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-14 16:19:52
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Thank you for the commet Ailsa.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-14 16:21:31
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Unfortunately nothing is ever simple.
Glad you liked it and thanks for the comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

woodbine on 2004-08-16 14:44:24
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
To Simon,
Respect to you. A meeting of minds, coming from very similar places. You make your point very clearly and your last line made me laugh aloud. A valuable piece of observation.

My problems are less with ignorance from the public but more from only being able to operate the computer or read or even speak clearly at certain times of day. I rarely get more than an hour or so before I fall asleep, yesterday banging my head on the screen, so the text went gobbledegook.      

Don't let them get you down. Bugger I'm falling asleep!

John

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-16 15:21:30
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Hi John,

I wrote this piece in response to the way in which my mum is ignored. She is disabled and has to use her wheelchair at times, my dad has also had a stroke and so he finds hard to move around.

I do have a 'blue badge' that runs out soon. I have a really bad lower back problem but touch wood I'm ok at the moment. I hardly used the badge for parking in disabled parking as there are far worse people than me. What got me angry is I'm entitled to park there and don't, able-bodied people (not all) just do it out of idleness.

Cheers for the comment keep well mate.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

tai on 2004-09-11 20:49:11
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
eddiesolo, This is a beauty....what are you talking about....we are just different in our styles, your work is very special.. I have an unseen disability, Repetitive Strain Injury. It affects the tendons and there is partial nerve damage. My problem is, it can't be seen and I am a stubborn woman and people think I'm fine, but even my family and some of my friends, doubt occasionally!!!

But I have come to realise, it is just another of life's tests and there are far more difficult ones, so I live with it...quietly!

Unless I'm pissed off of course and then look out!!!!!

Tai

Author's Reply:

marym on 2004-09-28 15:36:01
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
wow, simon... the last line just blew me as a previous comment.

a piece of work that you can be proud of...

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-28 18:46:22
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Cheers Tai, sometimes disabilities are hidden.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-28 18:47:59
Re: Ignorance towards the disabled
Thanks Mary,
Glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


PARADISE (posted on: 13-08-04)
Paradise on earth. This piece appears in the 2006 Gold Dust calendar.

PARADISE An idle hot summer's day Watching sward swoon and sway Sun aflame in cerulean sky Metaphors of grandeur laid out before my eye A crisp blue ocean is sprinkled with white Cascading light skips on the crests with delight As I gaze on heaven and earth with awe Suddenly I realise my paradise is what I saw. Simon Murphy
Archived comments for PARADISE
Bradene on 2004-08-13 05:17:36
Re: PARADISE
A very pleasant image to brighten up this awful summer morning! could you please point me in the direction of this paradise you have found??? (-; love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-13 05:20:04
Re: PARADISE
Looking out of my window this morning its not here...pouring down 🙁

Ta for ya comment.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

uppercase on 2004-08-13 09:34:33
Re: PARADISE
I would love to sit and watch the ocean I think it must be paradise....Erma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-13 09:41:00
Re: PARADISE
To sit on a cliff top in the gently swaying grass overlooking the sea on a warm summers day is bliss...

Thanks for the comment and the rate.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

dargo77 on 2004-08-13 09:48:25
Re: PARADISE
Si, enjoyed your moment of bliss in you very descriptive picture.
Dargo

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-13 09:50:47
Re: PARADISE
Many thanks Dargo for your comment and the rate.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Si:-)


Author's Reply:

rex on 2004-08-13 10:50:52
Re: PARADISE
~ sun aflame in cerulean sky~.. this added to the view of the blue ocean paints the picture of a bright, sunny vacation. A nice poem indeed to have with you while reclining on a beach side. Si, are you a vacation freak? You must have had some wild beach side resort vacation or is it just my feeling?
A cheering poem though.

Author's Reply:

Skeeter on 2004-08-13 12:52:09
Re: PARADISE
Nice and relaxing, and cheering to read. I'll have to look up 'cerulean' now.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-13 13:35:36
Re: PARADISE
No not a vacation freak, just like the sun, sea and sky all together at home or abroad.

Thanks for the comment Rex.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-13 13:36:44
Re: PARADISE
Glad you liked it Skeeter.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2004-08-14 02:58:33
Re: PARADISE
A beautiful vision in words - amazing how we can take paradise for granted sometimes.

Emma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-14 07:26:26
Re: PARADISE
Thank you for the nice comment Emma. I'm pleased that you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2004-08-14 14:00:02
Re: PARADISE
A man after my own heart - lovely poem.

Regards

Kat

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-14 16:18:56
Re: PARADISE
Thank you Kat for the nice comment. Sometimes the most simplest of things are the most beautiful...if we give the time to look.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-09-05 08:56:58
Re: PARADISE
A lovely poem, Edd. Makes me want to pack some sarnies and head for the seaside.... 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-09-06 02:46:48
Re: PARADISE
Go for it...just go!

Ed:-)

Author's Reply:


MY WOMAN (posted on: 06-08-04)
A short piece to a special lady.

MY WOMAN

Legs so pleasing and hips curvedly smooth
My eyes mooch over womanly figure

Heaving breast, slender shoulders and neck
How hands quiver as they caress such silkiness

Cerise lips, her mouth slightly apart
A need to imbibe this enlivening aroma of woman

The ardour burns like her fiery tinted hair
Yet is quelled by her eyes of restful grey-blue


Simon Murphy 2004


Archived comments for MY WOMAN
Bradene on 2004-08-06 08:30:03
Re: MY WOMAN
Simon you and I must have been on the same wavelength this week, read my poem' My sister the cupid!' I love this poem its short and very sweet.. You don't happen to have raven dark hair and brown eyes do you? (-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-06 11:56:33
Re: MY WOMAN
Hi Val.
Glad you like the piece...I now its a tad gushy, but heh! That's the kind of guy I am. I'm afraid I have mousey coloured hair and nice blue eyes (so I have been told).

Thanks again for the comment.
Si 🙂

Author's Reply:

discopants on 2004-08-06 14:18:05
Re: MY WOMAN
Love your choice of verbs in this- mooch and imbibe. Have to say that grey-blue eyes in a woman are my favourite but I always end up with a Brown-Eyed Girl (to quote Van Morrison).

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-06 15:35:10
Re: MY WOMAN
Cheers Disco.
I like the colour of my woman's eyes very much...and everything else for that matter!

Si 🙂

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 2004-08-06 16:39:19
Re: MY WOMAN
Nice to see someone feels the same way about their lady! Aren't they just something else! Great peice, can relate, Dazza.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-06 17:07:24
Re: MY WOMAN
Cheers mate...she drives me nuts but I couldn't live without her.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

dargo77 on 2004-08-06 17:27:26
Re: MY WOMAN
Enjoyed the poem, as I could tell you meant every word you wrote.
Dargo

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-06 17:32:46
Re: MY WOMAN
Thanks Dargo, yes she is very special to me.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

rex on 2004-08-11 13:01:35
Re: MY WOMAN
oh! oh!, what a tribute to a lady you so much feel for! You know, one thing that struck me is the imagery. I have a vivid mental picture of what she might look like. And,.. i think she is worth coveting oops!
Nice work man. Take a ten.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-11 15:30:26
Re: MY WOMAN
Many thanks for the comment and the ten! I'm pleased that the piece conjured up an image.

Cheers.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

jay12 on 2004-08-11 18:39:25
Re: MY WOMAN
nice poem, sounds like you have a nice wife or g/f, this is spoken with a lot of feeling.

jay.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-11 19:05:09
Re: MY WOMAN
Thanks Jay, she is my wife and I do have a lot of feelings for her.

Cheers.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Emerald on 2004-08-12 04:02:05
Re: MY WOMAN
Hi - a lovely poem - full of feeling

Emma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-08-12 05:26:22
Re: MY WOMAN
Thank you Emma, I'm glad you liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:


TEAR (posted on: 04-06-04)
The sadness of a tear.

TEAR


Faultless form rolls down ashen cheek


Confusion and hurt mingle with a tangible fear


Comfort from someone, not you, is what I seek


From pain you gave through this crystal tear



Simon Murphy 2004


Archived comments for TEAR
Gerry on 2004-06-04 16:51:35
Re: TEAR
Si. Tears are produced for many reasons, you covered one of them admirably.
Nicely done.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-06-05 05:19:31
Re: TEAR
Thanks Gerry. To be honest I wasn't expecting any feedback from this piece, I just wanted to post it.
Thanks Again.
Si.

Author's Reply:


ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT (posted on: 31-05-04)
To all school lunctime supervisors, which I am one.

eddiesolo

ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT


With whistles in handwe wait


Nervous glances are exchanged as we check our watches


Suddenly doors are flung and footsteps are wild


Untamed bodies come runningscreaming as they near


Standing our ground with a resolute strength


They are redirected to the four corners of this asphalt no-mans land


The battle ensues with balls pitched like grenades


Slowly in dribs and drabs the wounded begin to advance


Green tickets are given to grazed knees and hands


Tear streaked faces totter away supported by a comrade or two


At long last the bell is rung and this conflict is at an end


With relief we smile and return back to our homes


And prepare once more for our next lunchtime war


.


Archived comments for ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
discopants on 2004-05-31 08:35:07
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
I like the constant imagery of war- 'no man's land', 'the wounded', but is it really such a scene of carnage???

Author's Reply:

Skeeter on 2004-05-31 10:10:48
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
It can sometimes feel like that, I grant you!! Nicely put together.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-31 16:15:55
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
Cheers Disco for comments and yes sometimes it can get silly with kids crying, bleeding...SCREAMING!
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-31 16:17:45
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
Thanks Skeeter. It's not too bad for me as I'm the only bloke lunchtime supervisor...A bad ass one at that, I take no nonsense!
Si

Author's Reply:

shangri-la on 2004-06-01 06:12:05
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
I like this - it took me back to my infant school days. I can really imagine how it must be for playground supervisors - in my time we called them dinner ladies - I loved those ladies, they always came across as funny and kind - I bet we drove 'em nuts with our pestering though. A great piece, you painted the picture of playground chaos brilliantly.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-06-01 13:20:50
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
Many thanks for the comments, I really like the job as I work in a J & I school...don't think working in a secondary school would be my thang... bless the little darlings.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-06-01 14:42:54
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
Take your camel with you--that should keep em quiet lol.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

shackleton on 2004-06-01 16:48:53
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
Sounds like a terrible battleground Eddiesolo - where brave men fear to tread. Enjoyed your poem. Bye now.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-06-01 17:48:04
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
Yep, I could sit atop the beast and direct operations!
Glad you liked it.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-06-01 17:51:04
Re: ALL QUIET ON THE PLAYGROUND FRONT
Indeed it is Shack, like I said earlier it can get a tad fraught at times.
Thanks for the comments and I'm glad you enjoyed the piece.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:


MAGIC HOUR (posted on: 14-05-04)
A piece about a sunset.

eddiesolo

MAGIC HOUR


Golden light shimmers in delicate glow,


Casting long yet elegant shadows,


Surrounded in amber hue,


I sitI wait,


Covered from evening chill the sky burns before me,


Blues to yellows to oranges and reds,


A wondrous palate of colour, ever shiftingever mixing,


Dark blood red and deep purple spell the prequel to night,


The darkness is almost upon me,


Distant twinkling cousins join the old man in the moon, 


Together we will witness the final act,


With tearful eyes I gaze at the incredible performanceand then,


I sitI wait,


Gone now are the colours,


Gone now is the day,


And gone now is my beautiful sunset hour.


 


 


Archived comments for MAGIC HOUR
uppercase on 2004-05-14 09:55:39
Re: MAGIC HOUR
Perfect just perfect gets a 10 from me....Erma

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-14 10:34:13
Re: MAGIC HOUR
Thank you Erma I'm so glad you liked it. This is another piece that I wrote in the early hours, seems to be my best time to write!
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

dargo77 on 2004-05-14 13:45:02
Re: MAGIC HOUR
A nice piece of work. I felt I was there.
Dargo

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-14 13:48:55
Re: MAGIC HOUR
Cheers Dargo.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-05-14 14:15:26
Re: MAGIC HOUR
This brought many images back--you captured it so well.

Gerry

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-14 14:29:43
Re: MAGIC HOUR
Many thanks Gerry. It really means something when a piece I have written stirs an emotion or memory....means that I can write after all!
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

spacegirl on 2004-05-15 02:59:01
Re: MAGIC HOUR
Maybe I'm wrong, it didn't seem to be talking about a sunset, more of a burning romance that has run it's course.
Am I just reading too much into it? The last 3 lines just seemed to suggest watching a relationship end.
Great poem though

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-15 04:25:04
Re: MAGIC HOUR
No it was written about a sunset with that totally in mind. I'm glad that you saw something else in it and that it had other meanings for you. Chuffed at that. Glad you liked it too.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Leila on 2004-05-15 06:38:17
Re: MAGIC HOUR
You captured it well, I enjoyed reading...L

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-15 06:43:27
Re: MAGIC HOUR
Thank you Leila and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:


SUMMER LUNCHTIME (posted on: 03-05-04)

An hour in a park

eddiesolo

With arm slung shielding my eyes, I feel the world around me.


Sunrays descend, warming my cheeks and heart.


Disturbed air dances and eddies, rustling the leaves of the trees.


Chattering birds 'gossip' in the gently swaying branches.


Pondering briefly, I wonder what their conversation is about.




The grass encompasses my body like a sprawling living comforter.


Snuggling, I try to wrap the greenness around myself.


I become conscious of other noises, some close others afar.


Like a leaf flowing on the currents of a stream they drift and swirl.


Traffic and horns.


Children screaming and playing.


A dog barks and a bumble bee 'buzzes'.




I turn my attentions to my breathing.


In.


Out.


In.


Out.


Drowning out all other sounds from my head.




I am alive.I feel aliveI


I begrudgingly check my watch.


I'm late!


Grabbing rubbish I know this lunchtime has passed.


Jogging, I deposit the refuse and head for the gate.


To leave the tranquillity for the chaos outside.


Back to work.


Back to the fumes and harshness of life.


Pausing at the portals entrance, I steal a glance back.


Smiling, I know tomorrow is another day and that means


Archived comments for SUMMER LUNCHTIME
MercuryRapids on 2004-05-03 12:54:53
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Very nice, Edd. AGAIN!!

>>Smiling, I know tomorrow is another day and that means…<<

'and that means...' what? 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-03 13:00:32
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
It means what ever you want it to mean...another hour in the park or maybe that hour filled a gap that the person in the piece needed and wants to go do something else...who knows?
You decide.
Si:-)
Getting all poetic and mystic...it's gone to my head I think (lol)


Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-05-03 14:41:43
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Been there--done that, many times.
Nicely captured.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-05-03 14:41:51
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Been there--done that, many times.
Nicely captured.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-03 15:07:51
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Yep, know what you mean. Cheers for the comments (you still haven't got rid of your hiccups lol).
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2004-05-03 15:18:23
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
I was enjoying the chilled ambience you created, but then you went and spoiled it by sudddenly checking your watch (0;
Very true to life, I'm afraid. Good stuff.

s
u
n
k

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-03 15:24:53
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Damn those devices that tell us the time...bah
Cheers Sunk glad you enjoyed it.
Si.

Author's Reply:

Skeeter on 2004-05-03 15:54:03
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
I was drifting off there... it reminded me of when I used to go and sit in the park and read when I was 15; bunking off school. Shame you can't bunk off work, isn't it?

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-04 03:41:56
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
I know what you mean Skeeter, I tried it once when I was younger and got caught by the boss no less...he went ape! Can't blame him really.
Glad you liked it.
Si.

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-05-04 03:44:09
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Bretton Park car park??? 🙂

BTDTBTTS heh heh

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-05-04 03:44:53
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
okay... sorry for being fick... 😛

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-04 03:48:40
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Sitting there wilth all the other reps, directors, bank managers who can't face going to work heh heh.

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-05-06 09:26:42
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Takes some stopping---lol.

Author's Reply:

gunnerM on 2004-05-12 18:13:52
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Almost staccato in the telling. Nice and short unlike a dinner break!
It's strange how that when work is finished all you can remember is your dinner hour...............

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-13 03:07:42
Re: SUMMER LUNCHTIME
Thanks Lee glad you liked it.

Si

Author's Reply:


TIME (posted on: 03-05-04)
A piece about time.

eddiesolo

TIME


Tick-tock.


Tick-tock.


This is the sound of the clock.



Hands on a face.


Never letting up pace.


Always chasing to win the race.



Each number a winner.


Time for your dinner.


Time to cheat on someone by a sinner.



Time for birth to mothers new.


It's a girl or boy of that we knew.


Babe is all fresh like the early morning dew.



Time for weddings with laughter and grins.


Smiles all round, aunties had too many gins!


The time to start life as a couple begins.



Sadness brings a tear to our eye.


Time for someone near to die.


A box in the dirt is where they now lie.



This clock on the wall goes tick-tock.


We'll live forever, we seem to mock.


But time is unmovable like a great grey rock.



With fear we dread the movement of time.


We look back at things and we start to pine.


Yet without it our lives are thrown totally out of line.



Time waits for no one, tick-tock.


Enjoy what you have, tick-tock.


For time will never, ever stop.


For this my friend is the sound of the clock.


Archived comments for TIME
Gerry on 2004-05-03 08:12:09
Re: TIME
Well that was original---
Didn't miss much. lol.

Gerry

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-05-03 08:12:18
Re: TIME
Well that was original---
Didn't miss much. lol.

Gerry

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-05-03 08:15:01
Re: TIME
Sorry about that double--I have hiccups.

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-05-03 12:51:04
Re: TIME
Another nice poem, Edd. Is there no stopping the man????? 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-03 13:55:23
Re: TIME
Cheers Gerry.

Author's Reply:

gunnerM on 2004-05-12 18:10:15
Re: TIME
Cool.
The 'tick-tock' keeps going in the back of your head as you read it!
; )

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-05-12 18:14:53
Re: TIME
Cheers GunnerM!

Author's Reply:


THE BITTER POET (posted on: 26-04-04)
A piece from a man who has spent too long writing poems. Ironically when he realises that he has spent far too much time doing poetry, his despair is written in poetry.
This piece has been picked for the UKA 2005 anthology.

eddiesolo

THE BITTER POET

Stars. Again. My. Companions. Are.

Laid. On. One's. Back. I. Wonder. How. Far.

Vision. Blurs. As. The. Liquor. Courses. My. Veins.

Bloated. On. Drink. Like. A. Dark. Cloud. Full. Of. Rain.

Poetry. Is. Freedom. To. Express. What. You. Feel.

Releasing. Your. Soul. For. Others. To. Steal.

No. Riches. Or. Glory. For. A. Man. Like. Me.

Just. Booze. Red. Eyes. And. Staggering. For. A. Pee.

Consuming. My. Time. To. Write. This. And. That.

Great. Pieces. I. Thought. Giving. Myself. A. Pat.

It. Started. Out. Just. Scribbling. For. Fun.

Pages. Of. Nonsense. Is. That. All. What. I. Have. Done?

So. Lying. Sprawled. Out. In. This. Park.

I. Shall. End. This. Poem. With. One. Astounding. Mark.

A. Full-stop. You. See. Doesn't. Have. To. Be. Used.

But. In. This. Case. Like. Me. It. Has. Been. Thoroughly. Abused.


Archived comments for THE BITTER POET
Faerie on 2004-04-26 07:40:02
Re: THE BITTER POET
very interesting.. the idea is original - the use of the fullstops in the visual sense... although at certain points (no pun intended) it makes the poem harder to read... i loved the last 2 lines.

and cool picture by the way.. :o)

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-04-26 08:28:04
Re: THE BITTER POET
Many thanks Nancy for the comments and I'm glad you like the pic. It was taken (as you can tell) in Egypt at the begining of this year, £40 that ride cost me!
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2004-04-26 11:17:37
Re: THE BITTER POET
Liked the poem--but no ride is worth forty Quid lol.

Gerry.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-04-26 15:14:05
Re: THE BITTER POET
I was saying that Gerry after my wallet was vanquished of 400 Egyption pounds (£40 ish).

The pics have come out good though. I like them and the cost has faded to just a distant unpleasant memory.

Cheers Gerry I'm glad you likes the poem.
Si

Author's Reply:

day_dreamer on 2004-04-26 15:33:39
Re: THE BITTER POET
I like this for the original way/style you have written it - its message suits the style.
I think I would find it easier to read if the what was changed to a second that - but it maybe just me - what takes longer - than that when I read.Yours may be better grammar wise. Good read. Sue.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-04-26 16:15:19
Re: THE BITTER POET
Cheers Sue for the nice comments. I actually toyed with the idea of changing the 'WHAT' to a 'THAT' but in the end I decided to leave it.

Thanks.
Si

Author's Reply:

Faerie on 2004-04-27 02:55:38
Re: THE BITTER POET
lol.. you probably don't want to know this but you really got ripped off.. or is that egyptian £ ? Actually even if it is Egyptian it's still a bit of a rip off..

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-04-27 03:18:59
Re: THE BITTER POET
Yep! Totally ripped off. A little green at saying "NO!"
Never mind it all turned out well in the end and I visisted a great place.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2004-04-28 05:48:54
Re: THE BITTER POET
Another brilliant poem. Nice one, Edd! 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-04-28 07:32:16
Re: THE BITTER POET
Cheers Steve.
🙂

Author's Reply:


John Doe on Death Row (posted on: 16-02-04)
A few lines on the life of a man on death row.

eddiesolo

JOHN DOE ON DEATH ROW


Sitting alone I ponder over my life.


My life to be taken.


Like the man I killed with the knife.



Regret that I did it or regret I got caught?


Solace in the Lord is what I should have sought.


Not wasted my life on drugs and booze that I bought.



My ill-gotten gains made me crave more.


I wanted to be liked and I craved amour.



The attention of fast girls and flash sports cars.


Have no meaning when your behind these cold steel bars.



"Not wired up right," I heard one man say.


This thing is a danger.


We must make him pay!



So here am I, scared and in fear.


Not wanting to die.


But with my crime I'll pay dear.



The guards watch over me 24/7.


In case I beat the executioner to the pearly gates of heaven.



No chance of that, my cell is so sparse.


Trying to slit my wrists with old newspapers.


Now that would be a farce.



Now, my last meal to think about.


My favourite dish?


Yeah of that I have no doubt.



So when it's all over where shall I go?


To a small plot in the yard.


With the others from death row.


Archived comments for John Doe on Death Row
MercuryRapids on 2004-02-16 07:27:30
Re: John Doe on Death Row
A nice piece that succeeds in getting across the despair of facing one's own imminent mortality.

Well done! 🙂

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-02-17 04:55:25
Re: John Doe on Death Row
Cheers Merc.

Author's Reply:


THE INTERVIEW (posted on: 09-02-04)

A short nonsensepiece about my thoughts while awaiting an interview.




eddiesolo

THE INTERVIEW


With nervous motions I fidget and squirm. 'Any minute now,' the thought revolves around my rapidly numbing brain.


I feel like a man awaiting his sentence. 'GUILTY' or 'NOT GUILTY''GOT THE JOB' or 'NOT GOT THE JOB'.


I find myself thinking about the way a job interview and getting sent down are similar.


1. You and the defendant both (normally) attend your interview/court dressed smartly.


2. You both will be punctual, especially if one is in custody.


3. You both wait to be called with sweating palms and trembling voices. Please note that on both sides there will be people who are so used to interviews and appearing in court that this part will not faze them as much.


4. Once called your bowel will probably twist and you feel like you may need to break wind. Again this depends on the person, but most people I presume will suddenly feel that the basic bodily functions, waste and wind will suddenly start to cry out for attention. Lots of brain telling body to stop and clenching while trying to ignore said actions will no doubt ensue.


5. Once in you greet everybody with smiles and handshakes (if possible). In the court you will smile at your family, friends etc.


6. You will then be asked all kinds of questions that you try and get your fogged up brain to answer. Hopefully without coming across too thick (the defendant of course may be slightly disadvantaged in the old brain area hence his/her appearance in said court).


7. After the ordeal you leave and, on tenterhooks, await the verdict.


Guilty or not guilty?


We will have to wait and see.


Now I know that in a job you can always leave but for many people the going to courtsorry going for an interview is so traumatic that they stay in one workplace for years, a tad like a sentence.


You get paid to finance: food, furnishings and a roof over your head.


In prison others pay for you to have: food, furnishings (albeit sparse) and a roof over your head.


After years inside you get out. Either retirement or you've 'done ya stir' and then you both have to live on a meagre amount of pension/benefit.


So are they so different spending 20 years inside or 20 years working?


Who knowswho cares, I'm only trying to occupy my terrified brain and keep my body from tying itself up in knots and then exploding from every orifice.


One conclusion has come to me from these ramblings in thought and that is:


YOU DON'T GET ANY TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOUR WHEN WORKING!


Archived comments for THE INTERVIEW
spacegirl on 2004-02-10 14:32:22
Re: THE INTERVIEW
I love that last line. Too bloody right. It's amazing the things that go through your mind when you're nervous.

Hope you got the job.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-02-11 07:26:55
Re: THE INTERVIEW
Yes I did get the job. A playground full of screaming, fighting and crying kids to deal with. I must have been MAD!
Well, keeps me off the streets I suppose.
Thanks for comments.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:


THE SENTRY (posted on: 26-01-04)
A first world war piece about a lonely sentry.

eddiesolo

THE SENTRY

Peering above the rim of soil I squint at the harshness of the flares.

I steal a glance at my watch: 2:23.

Breathing deep I try to clear the stench of fear, cordite and death.

Like Mustard gas this smell has poisoned me, choked me.

Cocking my head to the right I catch a ghostly silhouette running through the night.

I hear the chatter of a machine gun and hope this chap has made it to safety.

I close my eyes as a cry of pain and terror flows over my trench.

The figure I saw now lays in the mud, anguished and afraid.

His only companions are the starbursts that hang lazily over the barren wasteland.

Like angels they sparkle as they drift on silken wings.

''Fear not brave soldier for God is here,'' they seem to say.

Solace not for the figure I can now see lit by this man made seraph.

He cries out again but no one helps him, no one can.

Realising that he is to die in the dirt he starts to whimper and sob.

I tilt my helmet over my face so no one can see the tears that flow.

I weep for this man...for I know his cry.

I know the voice that cracks as he begs for help.

 I know this man.

My brother lay dying and there is nothing I can do.

Fighting the guilt and rage inside I wipe my face with a dirty sleeve.

I take aim with my rifle and pray that the bullet runs true.

Whispering I ask for forgiveness as I look out into no-mans-land.

 I breathe deep and then exhale slowly as my finger depresses the trigger.

 The gun kicks, the noise is deafening...my brother is silent.

The starburst dims and I look at my watch once more: 2:30.

Seven long minutes that I would relive over and over again. 

The light is finally extinguished...like so many lives.

And I find myself alone again in the dark.

 

To all those souls who fought on all sides and in all conflicts, may we find a future where war is obsolete and mankind can achieve anything in peace.


Archived comments for THE SENTRY
MercuryRapids on 2004-02-16 07:30:50
Re: THE SENTRY
A gritty story that conveys well the futility (and personal horror) of war. Nicely done.

Author's Reply:


The season of man. (posted on: 26-01-04)
Just a short piece about the life of man.

eddiesolo

THE SEASON OF MAN


Birth to twenty is fresh like spring.


Pimples blossom like Bluebells, Oh we do laugh and sing.


Twenty to forty is warm like a summer.


Long days and nights cuddling up with a lover.


Forty to sixty the autumn years are here.


Grandparents we become and we all shed a tear.


Sixty to eighty the winter has arrived.


Life is nearly over but boy what a ride!


Archived comments for The season of man.
uppercase on 2004-01-26 09:00:36
Re: The season of man.
That just about says it all and I agree with it. very nice I like it .Erma

Author's Reply:

ruadh on 2004-01-27 05:19:55
Re: The season of man.
An original way of looking at things, enjoyed it.

ailsa

Author's Reply:

spacegirl on 2004-01-27 07:28:32
Re: The season of man.
I enjoyed it, a refreshing way to look at getting older

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-01-27 08:12:18
Re: The season of man.
Many thanks to all for the nice comments...glad you like it.
Si.

Author's Reply:

Elfstone on 2004-01-28 04:20:53
Re: The season of man.
Interesting poem eddiesolo, but I do think you've got the years wrong 🙂 . Speaking as someone who is firmly into your third category I don't feel the least bit Autumnal! - still in a blaze of sultry summer!!!!!

Author's Reply:

richa on 2004-01-28 14:57:04
Re: The season of man.
This is a good read. An interesting perspective on growing older. I know a lot of people who'll agree with your last line.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-02-03 10:42:17
Re: The season of man.
Good for you! I just hope that when I reach that stage that I still have plenty of 'get up and go'.
I wrote this poem at 1:30 in the morning, it just came to me and could I hell get it out of my head. It's just a simple poem really but I just couldn't sleep until it was down on paper so to speak.
Thanks for the comment.
Si.

Author's Reply:


To E-griff a bloke just giving me a hand. (posted on: 08-12-03)
To E-griff who has pulled my work to pieces (deservedly) but has given me some good pointers, hopefully to make my writing a tad better.
Just a silly poem.

A SILLY POEM.


By


Simon Murphy



Trembling with excitement, or maybe its fear?


I hope my new piece won't be kicked in the rear.


I wait with bated breath for E-griff to pronounce:


''This piece needs some work.''


He was waiting to pounce.


Feeling rejected I must proclaim.


This piece I thought was not too lame.


But on reflection the words of this man.


Should not be taken badly just because he's no fan.


He points out mistakes to make me write better.


And by George I can! Just look at this letter!


Oops got it wrong it's a poem you see.


Need morehelp from E-griff and a nice pot of tea.



Archived comments for To E-griff a bloke just giving me a hand.
e-griff on 2003-12-08 04:07:46
Re: To E-griff a bloke just giving me a hand.
Oh Simon, you're now doing poetry I see,
I 'm also sat here with a nice cup of tea.
But one thing I notice that quite puzzles me -
I thought that your tipple was always coffee?

(as in that nice little piece 'coffee moment' )

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2003-12-08 04:09:11
Re: To E-griff a bloke just giving me a hand.
and just in case others are worried, Simon did ask me to do a BIG crit when I offered - I wouldn't do it out of the blue. and it was private! 🙂

Author's Reply:

ritawrites on 2003-12-08 06:35:07
Re: To E-griff a bloke just giving me a hand.
yeah -- he's kinda cho-cute -- isn't he -- i like him too -- very very much -- nice poem

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2003-12-08 12:36:29
Re: To E-griff a bloke just giving me a hand.
Yes folks I did ask him to look at my work.

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2003-12-08 12:43:03
Re: To E-griff a bloke just giving me a hand.
Ta very much.

Author's Reply:


FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR. (posted on: 28-11-03)
Thought I would have a go at doing a hero saving the world from evil type thing, this is the prologue.
The story is set as you can probably figure out during the conflict with Iraq. I have had people having a go at me saying its all 'pro-American'. Well without giving too much away its not, the yanks do save the day but they are also the instigators of the trouble.

 

 

FORCE ZERO

OPERATION SAVIOUR

BY SIMON MURPHY

 

 

THE BEGINNING

 

Two sleek shapes sped through the night sky. Only the warning lights that flashed intermittently gave away their lofty position. A thousand feet below them lay a vast sea of dark cold sand.

            Unexpectedly daylight erupted from the bare landscape, its blinding flash captivating any animal or human that was looking in its direction. The man inside the cockpit of the lead Royal Air Force Tornado started to narrow his eyes before he, his companion, and both their aircraft were vaporised.

            Barely half a mile from ground zero a convoy of American military vehicles slowly ambled across the desert. Humvees, trucks, armoured personal carriers, their headlights hardly piercing the great plumes of dust that each of the metal monsters threw up. The soldiers saw the flash and just as they moved their heads towards the light they heard a dreadful howling, a howling from hell itself. Then in a millisecond they were turned into ash and their mighty steel chariots into molten piles of slag.

            The nuclear bomb had detonated in the middle of what the local US Army called green sector, an area out in the Iraqi desert populated by a few locals, shrubs and animals and a whole lot of US soldiers. The orange, fiery mushroom billowed into the dark, starry night, a symbol of either an instant, or a horrific lingering death.

            Within twenty-five minutes of the initial explosion images were being beamed across the world to shocked and terrified people who sat with wide fearful eyes and trembling mouths.

            Had the world finally gone insane?

Was this the first of many?

Nobody knew, but everybody, absolutely everybody cared.

 

**********

 

''Jesus Christ! What the hell just happened, George!'' The presidential adviser snapped staring wild eyed at the man in front of him.

            ''Well, John, a nuclear explosion has''

            ''I and half the population of the planet can see what the fuck it is!'' the adviser snorted, arms waving towards the television set which showed a large billowing mushroom hanging like the grim reaper's scythe over Iraq. ''How did this happen? I thought we were sure that they had no weapons of mass destructionwell?'' The man ran his fingers through his hair and moved slowly towards his desk. ''I have the President on his way back from camp David and every head of state is going to be on the phone wanting  answersI need fucking answersget me answers, NOW!''

''Yes sir, I'll get onto Intel and get the joint chiefs here ASAP. Sir, one more thing, may I suggest that you brief the President on to moving us up to Defcon three?''

John Walshaw looked up and stared into the face of the military advisor.

''You really think we need to?'' he asked slowly.

''Yes sir, I think it would be prudent,''

The man now seated behind the desk slumped slightly as he nodded. He dismissed the advisor and turned to the image on the screen. He had been six years old when the Cuban missile crisis had happened and he remembered how the world had been on the brink of disaster, yet the super powers had stepped back from the edge. Had the world crossed that line again and this time was there a way back?

He hoped so.

 

    

 CHAPTER 1 

I awoke to the shrill ringing of my phone. My brain had awakened me but my eyes refused to open. I guess the half bottle of JD that I had consumed less than two hours previously wasn't helping.

            ''Urgh, I'm coming,'' I spat at the infernal device. Moving slowly, I slipped out of the bedsheets and half-staggered, half-dragged myself across the room. My head banged like an S.O.B and all I wanted was to sleep. Reaching the table, I grabbed the receiver.

            ''Yeah, hello,'' I snarled into the mouthpiece. I wanted whoever was on the other end of the line to know that I was really pissed off. After listening to the voice for a few moments, I hung up. Standing in the half light of my apartment, I stared at the phone, part of me waiting for it to ring again.

It didn't.

            ''Jesus,'' was all I could say.

After a good pee and three mugs of strong black coffee, I started to feel slightly more human. Not much, just slightly. Stuffing some clothes and my shaving kit into my old army kit bag, I turned and looked at the bedside clock.

3:37 am.

''Three-thirty-seven,'' I repeated. ''I should be asleep,'' I moaned. The sharp knock on the door tore me away from my grousing. On opening the door, I was confronted by two men.

One was in army fatigues with Sergeants stripes on his arm and an 'M9' pistol at his hip. The other was in a dark, well-tailored suit.

''Colonel Ray Richards?'' the suit asked.

''Might be. And you are?'' I questioned, smiling nicely.

''Carl Johnson, Military Intelligence. I take it you understand why we're here?''

''Yep,'' I replied.

Carl Johnson moved aside as I passed through the doorway, closing the door behind myself.

''Nice Beretta,'' I told the Sergeant. The man smiled and moved off in front of us. I then turned my attentions to the well-groomed, well-dressed guy.

''Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?'' I asked.

''What?''

''I noticed that you're immaculately turned out, not even any stubble, so''

''So?''

''So, I was just wonderingdo you ever sleep?''

After a few more footsteps down the hall, he cocked his head slightly.

''No,'' came the curt reply.

''Oh,'' I mouthed and followed them out of the building and to a waiting HMMWV (High-Mobility Multi-purpose Wheeled Vehicle).

As we drove sandwiched between two more Humvees, I was awash with red and blue disco lighting from the various utility vehicles as they streamed up and down the streets. I also noticed the National Guard was out as we sped past a 2.5 ton A1 van, busy disgorging its complement of 'Part-Timers'.

''Won't be long before marshall law will be declared.''

I turned my head away from the scenes of soldiers and police setting up roadblocks to the source of the voice. It was the suit.

''Yeah,'' was the slightly grunted reply from the Sergeant, his steely gaze focused on the Hummer ahead as he manoeuvred around a load of boxes and broken hi-fi equipment strewn across the street.

''See, Colonel? This is what happens when some retard lets a nuclear bomb off thousands of miles away.'' The suit shook his head and threw up his hands. ''The whole place goes fucking insanetotal rampage,''

''Fubar if you ask me Sir,''

I smiled at the Sergeant- salt of the earth, the backbone of the US Army.

''Fubar,'' I replied.

''Fubar?'' The suit asked as he strained his head towards me then back to the Sarge.

''Fucked up beyond all repair,'' I answered. The Sarge nodded. The suit thought for a moment.

''Fucking A,'' he announced. He would have looked out of place to be saying that kind of thing dressed in an impeccable and no doubt very expensive suit, but given the circumstances it seemed just fine.

Our trio of vehicles passed through the city, stopping at every roadblock. The suit would show some paperwork and we would then snake our way around the obstructions. I closed my eyes and napped.

After a couple of hours of this stop-start motion, we hit the outskirts and open country.

I opened my eyes and realised that morning was upon us. Peering out of the window, I noticed the brightening sky and the glow on the horizon that signalled the suns glorious rise.

I watched as the fiery orb peered over the horizon like some celestial 'Kilroy' and bathed the landscape with warmth. I had just began musing how a man-made nuclear explosion was very bad, yet a cosmic one was what we needed to live when the lead vehicle suddenly turned off onto a trackway.

''Colonel, we have arrived. Welcome to''

''Fort Alpha,'' I interjected.

''Er, Yes, how do you know?'' he stammered.

''I just do,''

As the vehicle came to a stop, I opened the door. ''Cheers Sarge,'' I thanked.

By this time, Mr Johnson had made his way around to me. ''This way please Colonel,'' he gestured with a well manicured hand. I followed obediently.     

 

  

 CHAPTER 2

 

Our destination was the security gate guarded by a couple of tough looking roughnecks.

The guys eyed the suit suspiciously and raised their weapons slightly.

''I''

''Identification and order papers,'' the toughest looking out of the two guards demanded.

The suit glared at the man who had rudely cut off his sentence.

After fumbling around in his pocket the suit thrust some papers into the waiting hand.

''I want your name soldier!'' the suit shouted. The soldier ignored the rant as he studied the pages in his fist.

''Did you hear me?''

He moved closer to the soldier, his eyes bulging from his reddening face.

''Yes sir, I heard you. Now please move away or, I will be forced to shoot you,'' the soldier warned coolly.

I tapped the Military Advisor.

''Leave it,'' I told him.

The suit folded his arms and scowled.

I smirked.

 

RE-EDITED 31/03/04.


Archived comments for FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR.
shadow on 2003-11-30 12:00:36
Re: FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR.
An interesting beginning, certainly - what you might call, starting with a bang. Is it a good idea though, setting it in Iraq? With the situation out there still so fluid, it might be out of date before you finish it.
(By the way, typo in last line - 'new' for 'knew')

Author's Reply:

gacampbell on 2003-11-30 13:58:01
Re: FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR.
This starts well and has potential. Obviously there is a really big story behind this and it's difficult to comment on the big picture. One thing I would suggest though is that it's better, the first time they are mentioned, to use full names, moving to the abbrevation later in the text. eg. the lead Royal Air Force Tornado, Armoured Personnel Carriers etc etc. Also, I believe that abbrevaitions, in prose, don't tend to have full stops. i.e. R.A.F. becomes RAF.

Cheers,

Tony

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2003-11-30 19:39:26
Re: FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR.
Cheers Shadow for the noting the typo new-knew also should be sped not speed. I have also noted a few punctuation mistakes that I have rectified on my original piece.
I gave it a lot of thought about setting it Iraq but after all it is just a story and Iraq is as good a place as any plus I needed an area that was real with loads of US trrops in it.
Cheers for the comments.

Author's Reply:

gacampbell on 2003-12-22 06:26:35
Re: FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR.
Hi, just a followup - have you made any progress on this piece? I'd love to read it...

Author's Reply:

gacampbell on 2004-04-01 09:20:32
Re: FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR.
Si,

A good enthrawling read. I like the way its going and the dynamic pace of the action. Right in there - Fucking A 🙂

The usual problems, I also face, are with the detail. for example: The man inside the cockpit of the lead Royal Air Force Tornado started to narrow his eyes before he, his companion, and both their aircraft were vaporised. What about the navigator - I assumed he was the companion - just because I know about that?

Picky maybe, but accurate I hope.

I also don't think any person on earth can recover from that much JD that quickly. He should be a mess, and with that, grouchy or still drunk, through the dialogue.

A couple of others I've spotted:

Please revise your use of ! marks. There are far too many. Where it is a proper sentance, the sentance itself is enough emphasis. You should use these for real exclamations - whe someone says Great! for example. This is not a sentance, just an exclamation.

across the desert. Humvees, trucks...
I'd put a : after desert then list the trucks

Jesus Christ! What the hell just happened, George!
(this is a question and needs a question mark)

What's an S.O.B?

THere are a few more small editorial errors in pucntuation etc. but these are not important at this stage unless you decide to fix them yourself.

Keep going is all I can encourage - it's off to a great start.



Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2004-04-01 09:27:34
Re: FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR.
Hi Tony,
Cheers for the input and glad you liked it so far.

I see your point about '!' marks and will change things slightly.

Probably change the "Half a bottle of JD." To "The few shots of JD." Something like that.

I think we all get carried away with what we're writing and miss a lot of things.

Thanks again for the input.
Si.

Author's Reply:

gacampbell on 2004-04-05 13:40:28
Re: FORCE ZERO-OPERATION SAVIOUR.
Hey, Si,

A tip for you: repost this and state it's a revised version - this way you'll draw some fresh attention to it...

Tony

Author's Reply:


BEASTS (posted on: 05-09-03)
The first bit of a horror piece I'm working on.

eddiesolo

John Parks looked up into the cold star strewn night and breathed out the mixture of stale air and cigar smoke. He watched the bluish smoke as it swirled and drifted away.
''Give us a drag Parksey?'' A young female voice said next to him. John turned and looked at Lucy.
''No you're too young to be smoking,'' he said flatly.
''Oh that's good coming from you!'' she exclaimed as she pulled her old tattered parka closer around her tiny form.
''Yeah, well I'm nearly fourteen and you're only eleven so no, you can't have a drag, now shut up,'' he said as he stared at the pair of small dark eyes that peered out from beneath the dirty fur lined hood.
''Well, up yours,'' Lucy snapped as she thrust her hands into the parkas holey pockets. John smiled and placed the cigar in-between his dry cracked lips and inhaled.
''Well look what we have here, it's old Lord Snooty come to carry us off to live in his big posh mansion!'' A mocking voice said from the opening to the garden with its broken gate hanging limply by one hinge from the rotten gatepost. ''Oh I'm sorry it's you Parksey not Lord bleedin Snooty after all,'' the voice said as the figure pushed the broken gate back into the overgrown hedges and walked up towards John and Lucy.
''Har, bloody har,'' John smirked as the figure sat down next to Lucy. ''What you laughing at?'' he snapped at Lucy as she giggled in the confines of her hood. ''NothingLordSnooty!'' She said between laughs.
''Welldid you get something then?'' John said as he eyed the rucksack that was placed down in front of the newcomer.
''I certainly did my friends, but before I show you the contents of my Aladdin's cave I think we should retire to the relative warmth of the house,'' the figure said as he clutched the heavy rucksack and stood up.
''Good god Irish you have the cheek to call me Lord Snooty when you spout that toffee-nosed,'' he paused while he thrust his nose into the air. ''High classed, plum in mouth, private school tosh,'' he said in his best Noel Coward voice. At this they all erupted into laughter as they made there way towards the back door of the house.
''Well it ain't much but it's home,'' Parksey stated as he squatted and prised open the bottom panel of the back door and ushered Lucy inside. ''Sir,'' John said as he gestured for Irish to enter after Lucy had scrambled through.
''Why thank you my good man,'' Irish said in a posh voice as he doffed his cap. He slung the backpack down and pushed it through the hole then scurried after it. John Parks looked back up into the cold crisp night and took one last pull of the cigar; he pulled the butt out of his mouth and rolled it in his fingers watching as the softly glowing end faded then he flicked it with a flourish into the dark depths of the overgrown garden. With a sigh he twirled and followed his friends through the door, replacing the wood over the hole when he was safely on the other side.
Two pairs of glowing eyes watched as the boy flicked the cigar towards them. They watched as it landed in the weeds just in front of them and moved out silently to sniff the object. They wrinkled their noses at the unpleasant smoky smell that assailed their sensitive nostrils. Ignoring the foul object they turned their attentions to the boy who had disappeared. From below one set of multi-directional eyes came a low growl as they moved towards the house.
''Ah, here we are,'' Irish, said as he rummaged around in his pockets. He flicked a switch on the smooth casing of the object that he had extracted from a tissue- infested pocket and a bright white light flashed into John Parks eyes.
''Argh, Irishyou've gone and blinded meyou silly bugger,'' Parks, stated as he rubbed his eyes to rid himself of the white spots that danced in front of him. Lucy started to laugh.
''Shut up Titch, it's not bleedin funny!'' John snapped angrily at the girl, she stopped laughing but carried on sniggered quietly to herself as she stood up and followed Irish into the living room. John staggered after his companions into the bare room.
The creature stopped and sniffed the ground and the door then cocking its head slightly a slimy tongue protruded from between sets of razor sharp teeth.
''Come on Irish I'm bloody starving, what you got then?'' John snapped impatiently as he followed his friends into the depths of the darkened room.
''Ok, look you get a fire going in the grate while I'' Irish's sentence ended as the sudden crash against the backdoor reverberated around the old house.
''What the fuck was that?'' Parks yelled as Irish swung the torch around towards the doorway. ''You, erstay here. I'll check this out,'' John said with far more bravado than he actually felt. With the torch beam dancing crazily in front of him as he walked he reached the doorway and turning back he shrugged before moving off towards the kitchen area.
''What was that?'' Lucy asked quietly as she moved towards Irish and slipped her arm through his.
''I don't knowParksey will sort ityou'll see,''
John Parks squinted at the creature as it squeezed itself through the gap that had been the lower door panel, what he didn't notice was the other creature in the gloom that had entered first - it was of course well aware of him.
The scream echoed around the empty house, its chilling chorus ricocheting off the peeling damp wallpapered walls as scream after scream sped its way towards the two fear paralysed urchins huddled in the drab dark room.
Lucy tightened her grip on Irish's arm as the screams died to a gurgle then turned to silence.
''PaParksey?Parks?!'' Irish called the torch bouncing madly as his hand shook violently with terror. ''JesusParksfuckParks please stop fucking aboutplease,'' his voice cracked and he started to sob. Lucy started to move behind Irish when the dancing torchlight caught a blood soaked mouth. As she stared the creature moved further into the doorway and the light.
Irish also saw the creature and he gasped as suddenly his legs weakened and he slumped to the floor. The torch slipped from his sweating palm and rolled across the dirty aged floorboards, ending up rocking gently as it shone back at them, its harsh glare highlighting their final moments like some macabre Chinese puppet show.
Lucy's eyes widened as the creature licked its bloodied mouth as it entered the room.
She started to scream.
And scream.
And scream

Archived comments for BEASTS


MercuryRapids on 2003-09-06 06:15:41
Re: BEASTS
An excellent read!

Try to remember where your punctuation goes, though (commas, hypens etc.), it helps to make the story flow better. There also seem to be lots of 'as he', 'as she' parts. While it might not be a fault in writing, it appears a bit repetitive when reading (did I spell repetitive correctly? heh heh).

Apart from that, I really, really enjoyed it and cannot wait for more.


Author's Reply:

MercuryRapids on 2003-09-06 06:25:46
Ooops!
I spelled hyphens incorrectly! 🙂

Silly me!

(I got 'repetitive' right, though...)

Author's Reply:


THE MURDERS OF MUTCHROSE VILLAGE (posted on: 30-05-03)
This is the first couple of chapters of a crime novel. The setting is now and the tale is about a burned out cop (Paul) from London shunted to a backwater Police station for his and the forces good. He teams up with Penny to solve some nasty murders that suddenly happen in the sleepy village of Mutchrose. The actual Murderer takes the form of a Roman Legionary...

eddiesolo

THE MURDERS OF MUTCHROSE VILLAGE


BY


SIMON MURPHY


''This is a nasty murder and I think it is connected to the other one, we must do everything that we can to catch this brute before he or she strikes again,'' the man said then nodded and trundled back towards a white van. ''Come on, there is nothing we can do here, let's get back,'' Paul said as he turned way and headed back towards their car. Penny trudged after him, the image of the charred burnt man in her mind. ''Jesus,'' she whispered.


CHAPTER 1


The grey dark cloud slid silently through a cold crisp air unveiling a large white moon in its wake. Its moonbeams suddenly free of any restraints from the ghostly curtain, poured down onto the sprawling countryside below.


The man turned and looked up at the moon as it emerged from behind its hiding place.


''Come on we have to start back,'' he said as he turned his head towards the open car window.


''Yeah, all righthang on, awe crap,'' his companion said from the bushes next to where they had parked their police car.


''What's up?'' the man in the car asked as his companion trudged towards him.


''I've bloody well gone and pissed on my new bootsgive us a tissue will ya?'' he said as he walked up to the open window and held his hand out


. ''Yeah,'' the man in the car said and he started to chuckle as he reached over and opened the glove box and took out a handy pack of tissues. ''Here,'' he mumbled as he handed the packet over to the waiting hand hovering by the window.


''Ta,'' the man said as he stooped to wipe his boots. ''That's better, I'll have to polish'' but he never finished the sentence as it was interrupted by the roar of a tuned up engine as the unseen chariot raced through the narrow country lane towards them, it's throaty snarl assailing their ears.


The man dropped the tissues and dashed around the front of the car, he grabbed the door handle and swung it open then slid himself into the passenger seat.


''Right you bastard, we have you this time,'' he said as he slammed the door shut, he then glanced over to the driver and smiled, the man behind the steering wheel smiled back and started the engine.


''Get ready, here he comesnow go!'' he shouted as the physical manifestation of the roar tore past the dark lay-by that the police where hiding in. The police car came to life and wheel spun out of the gravel and onto the tarmac-it's tyres squealing. Just as the car reached the road the driver switched on the headlights and then flicked on the high beams. His partner turned on the warning strip on the roof, the blue revolving light reflected off everything and filled the countryside with a spectral hue.


''There he is, right up there,'' the man in the passenger seat said excitedly as he pointed to a dim pair of red lights disappearing in the distance. ''I'll call it in, you just keep that foot down matey,'' he reached for his walkie-talkie and depressed the button on the black box at his shoulder. ''Bravo three from one two six, over,'' he released the button and waited.


''Yeah, go-ahead one two six, over,'' a nasally sounding voice said from the plastic box.


''This is area car Kilo one zero, we are in pursuit of a speeding vehicle on Richting lane, errjust passing lake farm, over,'' the man in the car now said into his shoulder mike.


''Roger that Kilo one zero have you in pursuit of a speeding vehicle on Richting lane, over,'' the nasally voice acknowledged.


''Roger,'' the man in the passenger seat said in response.


''Where the hell did he goI can't see his taillights?'' the driver said instinctively talking his foot off the accelerator pedal the engine slowing.


''There are no bloody roads off this lane for at least two miles, we should be able to see him,'' the driver said in an astonished voice.


''Bollocks, I don't bloody believe this!'' his companion snapped as he slapped the dashboard with his hand.


''Bravo three from Kilo one zero, over,'' the man next to the driver, said in a tired voice.


''Yeah Kilo wun zero go ahead, over,'' the nasally man answered.


''Yeah we seem to have lost the suspect, over,'' the policeman in the car said with a touch of anger in his voice.


''Roger that Kilo one zero understand you are no longer in pursuit of suspect vehicle, over,'' the man replied flatly.


The police car slowed down and drove down the lane at fifteen miles an hour both it's occupants straining their eyes as the peered through the glass for any signs of their lost prey.


''Look over there?'' the driver, said as he pointed to a single red taillight dimly glowing from a field just ahead of them on the right hand side.


''Looks like the silly sod lost it and crashed into the field, come on let's see if he is ok,'' the driver's companion now said happily. A lighter tone had appeared in his voice at the prospect of an arrest.


The police car pulled over and stopped by the hole in the fence and both men got out one of the men grabbing a torch from the door pocket. They pulled on their caps and looked at each other and shrugged as they disappeared through the gap that the speeding car had left.


''Hello, police are you ok,'' one of the men, said as he switched on the torch before he the trudged through the ploughed soil towards the now silent car.


''Look he's legged it, the door is open,'' said the man's companion as he moved towards the open drivers door. The man with the torch pointed the beam towards the driver's door illuminating his colleague as he walked in front of the beam. ''He's hurt, the silly bugger, there's blood here,'' he now said as he examined the cars interior the internal courtesy light casting a feeble glow on the vehicles insides.


''Look there's blood on the bonnet, but he hasn't gone through the windscreen?'' the man with the torch remarked as he walked slowly towards the front of the car swinging the torch around.


''Jesusfucklook at this!'' the man suddenly shouted as he staggered back in the loose soil and fell on his backside the torch falling from his hand and rolling into one of the furrows where its beam highlighted a set of foot imprints that led away from the scene. His colleague joined him and stared at the remains of the person in front of him dimly illuminated by the cars shattered headlights.


''Holy mother of god, what the hell could havehis chestcut wide open!'' the man gasped and turned to his companion who had rolled over and had started to wretch. In the shadows at the other end of the field a pair of eyes narrowed as they watched the policemen the figure cowered as the torchlight suddenly bounced crazily and came to a rest pointing in its direction. The figure sighed as it realised that the man had dropped the light, it grinned and moved away grasping a bag with its bloody contents close.


High up above them the moon had witnessed the awful truth about the young man's fate, but like so many times in the Earth's violent and terrible past the man in the moon was keeping this to himself as well.


CHAPTER 2


Detective Sergeant Paul Stanton sat slouched over his desk staring into his half drunk cup of coffee. All around him he could hear the muffled talking of people, he paid them no attention and continued to stare into the brown liquid.


''A Penny for them?'' a quiet voice whispered from behind his left ear.


''Mmm,'' he mumbled the voice bringing him back to reality.


''Your thoughts?'' the voice continued. ''What's up with you?You were miles away.''


''Oh I'm sorry Penny, I was just thinking about that kid,'' he said as he turned to face the woman who smiled at him as he looked at her.


''I know, it's pretty terrible what happene