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julieemovon's (rosebutterfly on UKA) UKArchive
4 Archived submissions found.
In the Begining... (posted on: 22-09-03)
The true story behind creation.


In the Beginning was the Word. And the Word was…
'Who switched that bloody light on?'
Do you mind? I'm creating here.
''What are you creating here then? All those twinkley things flying about and all that mud.''
It's called a Universe.
''Ooo, Universe hey. What does it do? Besides look pretty, and muck up all my nicely organised Chaos''
It doesn't 'do' anything. It just 'is'.
''Well, what is it that it 'just is' then?''
I'm creating 'Planets' and 'Life'.
''Life? What's that then?''
You wouldn't understand.
''Yes I would.''
You wouldn't. Now go away and give me some peace.
''You think you're so clever don't you. Like your some supreme omnipotent being or something.''
I'm trying to work. I had seven days to get this finished in.
''How many days have you been making this then?''
Six days, now go away and let me work.
''Let me help you then.''
What are you doing? Put that stone down.
''OK. It's down. Ops, did I do that? Silly me, not much 'life there now is there?''
You've wiped all the life of my planet. I've got to start again now. I've only got these little bits left.
''Better hurry up then. You've only got a day left to finish it in.''

''That's pretty. Let me have a closer look.''
I thought you had gone.
''No, I'm still here, in the Chaos. Oh look there's something on that bump waving at me. Hello little life form. That is so cute. Can I have one?''
What are you doing? Don't touch that.
''Yuk, it's wet. I only gave it a little touch.''
You killed almost all my life forms now.
''There's still a few left look. Hey, that looks like me.''
That life form seems to be progressing faster than the others. I will observe it.
''Ow, what was that?''
What's wrong now?
''Something flew off that planet and hit me in the eye. Those things you made are attacking me.''
Don't be silly.
''Yes it did. That's it, I'm telling Mum, and she'll make you destroy it.''
You tell Mum Satan, and I'll throw you down, so hard you never get up, Brat.
''Mum, God's picking on me again, and he's creating a Universe and won't let me play.''
Archived comments for In the Begining...

bluepootle on 2003-09-22 04:22:09
Re: In the Begining...
Arf! Me like.
Thought it could be helped by putting each line of the conversation on a separate line, because it's a little tiring on the eyes in this form.

Author's Reply:

shadow on 2003-09-23 17:12:47
Re: In the Begining...
So that's how it all started. Funny, it doesn't surprise me at all, somehow.

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woodbine on 2003-10-13 22:39:48
Re: In the Begining...
A very cute and artful notion of God and Satan as two small boys. As someone who years ago worked in a communal darkroom, your second line: 'Turn that bloody light out!' had a particular appeal. A line I remember from childhood bleating to my much older sister was:' Mum says you've got to play with me.' Her reply was: 'We are playing mummys and daddies. You can be the brother who's at boarding school which is in the corner over there.' More relevent - I look forward to reading more of your work.

Author's Reply:

My Hero (posted on: 15-08-03)
For my son, Aiden, a member of the British parachute regiment, recently serving in Iraq.
There is a quote about the men of the regiment, 'What manner of men are these...' finishing with 'Every one an emperor.'



Mummy, when I grow up I'm going to be Superman
And save the world from baddies.

Yes Sweetheart, but sleep now
Tomorrow is a long day
And even Superman had to go to school.
Even Superman listened to his mummy.


Mum, why do they bully those little kids?
I'm going to tell them it's nasty.

Good for you, Darling
Stand up for what you believe in.
I'll be here when you come home
To hear how they ran away when you confronted them.

AGE 11

I came second in the race Mum,
I turned to see if he was catching me.
I lost because I didn't believe in me.

I'm proud of you for trying Sweetie,
''He did very well.'' the Headmaster said
With a determined stare you answered,
''I'll never be second best again, when I'm good enough to win''

AGE 18

I'm gonna be a soldier mum, wear the red beret.
They're the best, the elite force. I won't fail.
I'll be fighting all the way, prove myself a worthy man.

So now you're a man,
My precious child,
Fighting since conception.
Life with you was never easy,
Life with you was never quiet.
I was told you were charismatic,
A born and natural leader.
Now you lead into war
A man of courage and honour.
But behind the voice,
I hear the frightened child,
Standing up for the smaller,
The weaker. Living your life
With honour and valour,
And my heart breaks anew every day.
In my eyes
You have always been
An Emperor.

Archived comments for My Hero

MissClawdy on 2003-08-15 06:11:37
Re: My Hero
Very sentimental, yet very touching and well written. This is a great tribute to your son and I'm sure he'd be incredibly moved to read it.

Author's Reply:

richa on 2003-08-17 07:13:58
Re: My Hero
We can never thank our soldiers enough for their service and sacrifice. Moving poem.

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fecky on 2003-09-05 08:49:18
Re: My Hero
Another nice one from RB

Author's Reply:

I dream of Atlantis (posted on: 15-08-03)
Past life regression? Or wishful thinking?


I dream of Atlantis.
With temples raised on lush plateaus
And scarlet lotus blooms underfoot.
Here as priestess I dwell
Spending long days studying
Ancient wisdoms from a place
Far away in time and space.

I dream of Atlantis.
I see it fall into crashing waves
Children drowning, widows weeping.
Here as priestess I dwell
Spending endless nights listening
To the cries of lost souls
Wrenched away by cruel fate.

I dream of Atlantis.
Jewel of the sea, a prison for me.
Trapped in the crystalline temple
Here as priestess I dwell
My power as yet unleashed
From this cage of beautiful insanity
Drowning in an eternity of tears.

I dream of Atlantis.
And wake screaming in the night
Demons walk Earth in human guise.
Here as priestess I must dwell
Waiting for the indigo dawn
That heralds the crystalline morn.
When all that is to be will be.

I dream of Atlantis,
But all dreamers must awake
And heed the battle cries.
When temples and priestess are no more
And all is at rest on the oceans floor
Will you join me in the fight
To free humanity?

Archived comments for I dream of Atlantis

fecky on 2003-09-05 08:54:07
Re: I dream of Atlantis
RB, you've just sold me the legend. This was deep in every sense of the word.

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Pilgermann on 2005-01-15 05:50:56
Re: I dream of Atlantis
Beautiful and evocative.

Author's Reply:

The Music Played On (posted on: 11-08-03)
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Lily and Davis were very much in love. Then came a tragic accident.

Lily raised her arms skywards, relishing the warmth of the sun's rays on her bare skin. In each hand she gasped an end of the long white scarf, which she had draped around her as she danced, her white gown sparkled as it swirled in rhythm with her dance.

Faster and faster she danced, following the changes of the melody, she twirled and leaped in overwhelming joy.

''Can you hear it?'' She gasped to the jovial old man who huffed and puffed his way up the hill.

''Can you hear it?'' She whispered to the silver-haired woman, who paused briefly on her upward travel.

Both smiled indulgently at the waif-like young woman, dancing gaily to the sound of the music that drifted over the steep hillside.

''We hear it.'' They answered, calling back to her as she continued her dance.

Filled with a sensation of joy, the girl gave into her compulsion to spin, arms outstretched. Every hair on her slight frame seemed alive with energy, stretching out to the warmth of the sun, vibrating with the throbbing beat of the distant melody.

In the distance she saw David, his image made hazy by the waves of heat. He sat at the base of the hill, head bowed and unresponsive to the splendour around them.

''David!'' She called, as she raised her hands and eyes once more towards the azure blue of the sky, ''Can you hear it?''

David remained unmoved, head bent towards the emerald green grass, eyes unfocused, seemingly oblivious to the music that filled the air, reaching into every part of Lily's being.

''David, dance with me.'' She shouted down the slope. David remained motionless, and the girl danced on.

There was a new lyrical addition to the pervasive melody. The girl found herself singing along as she danced.
''Lily, Lily, won't you come back to me?'' She sang as she swirled and twirled up the hillside. ''Lily, Lily, won't you come back to me? Come back to me Lily, stay with me Lily.''

Suddenly, she stopped her upwards dance, poised on one delicate foot, a frown marring her pale young face. ''Lily, Lily, won't you come back to me?'' She repeated slowly, pondering on every word. ''Lily?''

''Can you hear, David?'' she faced the distant figure through the heat haze. David remained seated, his gaze fixed downwards, rather than at the ethereal form of the girl almost translucent in her loveliness against the summer sky.
''The song is for me.'' Lily laughed with glee as she continued her dance, singing merrily, ''Lily, Lily, won't you come back to me?''

''It might help, but we can't promise anything at this point.'' David Tenent raised his eyes to meet those of the young doctor who spoke to him.

''Miss Byron suffered extensive injuries in the collision. Quite frankly, we are surprised there are any life signs at all.'' As she met the tear-filled eyes of the young man, the doctor gulped. ''She has been in the coma since the ambulance crew bought her in.''

''She's asleep right?'' The doctor could hear the tremor of unshed tears behind the question. ''I mean, it's not hurting her is it?'' A solitary teardrop escaped and made its way unchecked down his face. His fingers nervously fidgeted on the padding of the wheelchair armrests, picking at a small tear in the fabric.

''We will treat her injuries as if she was awake, and we gave her something to relieve any pain. As for the music, it seems that some coma patients are able to hear sounds around them'' The doctor made some notes on a clipboard before she signaled the waiting nurse forward. ''I have to go now, Mr Tenent. If you let the nurse know when you are ready, she'll take you back to your ward.''

David nodded in reply, as his his gaze returned to the sickly green hospital sheet that covered Lily. She looked so peaceful, so relaxed after the horrors of the night before. With a shudder, David remembered how they had been laughing at one of Lily's stories about her day at work, he had laughed loudly at her comical impression of her boss, playfully tickling her in response.

Then he saw the truck swerve towards them. Desperatly David tried to swerve to avoid the collision, but the last thing he remembered, before he awoke in a hospital bed, had been the sound of Lily's screams. With a dogged persistance, he had insisted on being taken to see his fiancé, despite his own horrific injuries.

He gave a sigh as he reached out, ignoring the pains that shot through his arm, to press the button that caused the small, stark room to fill with the haunting melodies Lily loved. Every note pounded into David's heart like stakes.

Closing his eyes against the pain, he imagined Lily, as she danced in the sunshine, as she had done the day they first met. He had fallen in love with her when he saw her eyes as they gleamed with the joy of the music and the dance.
Yet another stake pounded into his already critical heart.

Opening his eyes, he threw himself forwards onto the slim hospital cot, startling the watching nurse as he dragged his damaged body forward. As the nurse tried to persuade him to return to the wheelchair he became strident in his refusal. His need to be with Lily gave his crushed and ruined limbs unexpected strength. Finally he lay along side Lily, his eyes level with her dark, unfocused ones. Desperately he searched for a spark of life.

''Lily, Lily, won't you come back to me?'' He moaned, over and over again, hugging her unresponsive body close to him. "Come back to me Lily, stay with me Lily.''

Despite the efforts of the hospital staff, David refused to leave Lily's side. Eventualy the medics accepted his refusal and the two were left alone in the small, stark room.

The music still played as the day nurse entered the room at the start of her shift. With a sigh, she turned of the player before turning her attention to Lily and David, entwined on the bed, limbs frozen as if mid-dance. After she checked the pair for vital signs, the nurse put through a call for a doctor and to the morgue for help with the two bodies.

On a distant hillside, the music stopped. Lily ceased her dancing, looking around in confusion at the sudden silence. At the foot of the hill lay David, a small speck in the distance.
''David?'' Panic tinged Lily's voice as she realised she was alone on the steep hill. ''David, are you coming? I don't want to go with out you.'' She shouted down to him.

Gradually, the lively melody drifted across the hillside again, as David took to his feet and danced up the hill towards Lily. As they came together, the hairs on his body seemed to be alive with energy, his eyes sparkled with laughter as he spun Lily around and around in the sunlight under the azure sky.
As he kissed Lily on her scarlet lips he began to sing. ''Lily, Lily, never leave me.''

''I'll never leave you, David.'' Lily whispered in reply as they waltzed over the brow of the hill.

Archived comments for The Music Played On

kenochi on 2003-08-11 16:47:37
Re: The Music Played On
a nice, touching piece RB, I enjoyed it.

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TheGeeza on 2003-08-13 07:30:43
Re: The Music Played On
Good that. Thanks for the read.

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Rosebutterfly on 2003-08-13 15:04:32
Re: The Music Played On
Thankyou for your comment. I'm gladyou enjoyed this.


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Rosebutterfly on 2003-08-13 15:05:26
Re: The Music Played On
Thank you. 🙂

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fecky on 2003-09-05 08:43:14
Re: The Music Played On
Yep, I liked it too, even though I found it just a little predictable.

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sirat on 2003-09-07 04:04:36
Re: The Music Played On
I thought this was written with great competence and created a strong mystical atmosphere without lapsing into sentimentality or cliche. I was a bit uneasy about the predictability though. It reminded me of a similar story that I read somewhere in which the young couple were trapped in the wreckage waiting for help to arrive, and right up to the end you weren't sure if anyone was going to survive or not. Then (if I remember rightly) the woman dies just as he hears the sound of the ambulance coming, and he closes his eyes too and you *assume* that he has somehow chosen to die with her. Other readers may recognize the one I am referring to, I can't remember where I read it. The point is just that with a plot like this I think it's more effective if you don't over-write, if you leave it a little bit open-ended. Apart from that, an excellent piece.

Author's Reply: