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kats's (kat on UKA) UKArchive
195 Archived submissions found.
Title
Las Tres Lunas (The Three Moons) (posted on: 23-06-14)
Dedicated to my compadres on the UKAway 2014 in Lanzarote - here's to the next one! x

I pour sangria into my glass continue to unwind from home live in the clear moment of knowing, this is right, it's white it's as real as I can be as me, loving the vision I can see. I foresee a crystal future where I might do the unthinkable, the frowned upon, the no, nein, non involving a gondola, but not in Venice, with a black man wearing a yellow thong, would it be wrong to sing a song serenading bananas? And be stupid and free and me... I stroke a brown post a pillar of wood I may worry into a man, another man, then maybe, decide that as suspected, I don't need men but I do need the moon something constant, seen by all believed in as a religion more reliable than love that gets twisted and torn and tortured into a tiny crescent shape from which you both seek escape.
Archived comments for Las Tres Lunas (The Three Moons)
stormwolf on 23-06-2014
Los Tres Lunas (The Three Moons)
Bravo! I can see the sangria and the sun worked their magic on your Muse. I loved the mind-stream feel of this, the freedom of thought, the imagination let loose!

Long may we be stupid and free and us!
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Laughing, thanks Alison - I love your comment. I was working on something unrelated there, but had a 10 word challenge from a creative writing group I go to (link words), so, while sitting in Las Tres Lunas restaurant doing the supping of sangria, I came up with this wee ditty.

Hope we can meet up soon at the Raeburn? Any time after the 2nd July is good when my husband is back from a work trip.

Kat x

Elfstone on 24-06-2014
Las Tres Lunas (The Three Moons)
"live in the clear moment of knowing," Oh yes - that's what writing weeks should be about!
I loved the way you read this to us and it looks very good on the page too. You've got lots of little rhymes in the midst of the wandering thoughts and it all works beautifully. Incidentally, "I stroke a brown post a pillar of wood I may worry into a man," if you ever manage to do that, let me know ... ๐Ÿ˜‰ Elf.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your lovely comment, Elf. Smiling.

Kat x

Ionicus on 26-06-2014
Las Tres Lunas (The Three Moons)
Dear Kat, I think we have to change the words from 'in vino veritas' to 'in sangria veritas' as it seems that that particular libation has freed your inhibitions:

"I foresee a crystal future
where I might do the unthinkable,
the frowned upon, the no, nein, non"

A black man in a yellow thong? The mind boggles.
An enjoyable and amusing ditty interspersed with internal rhymes and a touch of hidden eroticism.
Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Laughing again, thank you, dear Luigi, for a lovely comment. I'll be sharing this wee ditty this afternoon with my writing group. This came from 10 link words that we all thought up: crystal, clear, glass, white, black, brown, yellow, banana, gondola, Venice.

I'll be reading you later... am a bit slow this week in amongst all my motherly duties... roll on the summer hols (from Fri).

Kat x


Swimming with Drag Queens (posted on: 10-03-14)
Inspired by a holiday in Gran Canaria... speaking of holidays... check out the UKAway forum if you'd like to write in the sun in Lanzarote this June. :^) *addendum* the title has nothing to do with sirat... I didn't know him then. ;^)

Of course they had great legs which flippered elegantly in tight neoprene leotards that added to the mammal-effect and hid a lack of mammaries. Appendages strapped, only the frisson of a swagger suggested meat and two veg. The cabaret of build-up – bouncing (fettered) off the diving platform wigs escaping in fronds under Max Wall bathing caps. False eyelashes like humming-birds unable to prevent wet gravity. How their limbs flapped and flailed - how they bombed like cannonballs.
Archived comments for Swimming with Drag Queens
Mikeverdi on 10-03-2014
Swimming with Drag Queens
OMG! I'm going to carry that picture around all day now ...Ha Ha!

Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading, Mike - much appreciated.

Kat x

pdemitchell on 10-03-2014
Swimming with Drag Queens
added to the mammal-effect
and hid a lack of mammaries.

ha! an excellent and well observed tranny-vision. Mitch

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, Mitch!

Kat x

Ionicus on 11-03-2014
Swimming with Drag Queens
A well observed and cleverly described situation, Kat. The second stanza is hilarious:
"Appendages strapped,
only the frisson of a swagger
suggested meat and two veg."

Cheers, Luigi

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Luigi. I've always been quite fond of this wee ditty.

Kat x

jdm4454 on 11-03-2014
Swimming with Drag Queens
I wish I could write this well....Ted Barrigan wishes the same...thanks for the read...jim

Author's Reply:
Jim, thank you for taking the time with this. Much appreciated.

Kat x

stormwolf on 15-03-2014
Swimming with Drag Queens
Hi Kat,
Gave me a laugh. The mind boggles alright.
Been a bit under the weather so not on of late. Hope all is well and we can meet up soon.
Alison xx

Author's Reply:
Alison, delighted to hear from you and I hope you feel better and more the thing soon. Would love to meet up again, maybe in your neck of Edinbra? :^)

Thanks for taking the time with this.

Kat x


Do the Larkin Thing (posted on: 03-03-14)
Never posted from Edinburgh before... historic! (Have had a tiddly edit, with thanks to Leila)

You jealously nod your head like a dog in the back of a car that can't help it. It's the nearest you come to praising your progeny for fleeing the coop and surviving without you. Why do some mothers want to shag their sons instead of embracing and welcoming and loving them? You can't compete with generation X Y or Z. Too late platitudes, niceties, formalities, 'memorials' don't cut it. In this life, it pays to value and nurture (believe in!) the living, You're not meant to fuck the filler around your eyes and mouth instead. Do the Larkin thing and let this be the last verse on the subject.
Archived comments for Do the Larkin Thing
Slovitt on 03-03-2014
Do the Larkin Thing
kat: good use of larkin's poem and what you had to say, effectively said. glad to see you posting. swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep, lovely to hear from you and thank you very much for taking the time with this snippeto. lol Hope you and yours are keeping well. I look forward to having a browse around here in the next days.

Kat x

pommer on 04-03-2014
Do the Larkin Thing
Very aptly phrased.I agree with Slovitt. Be lucky, Peter.xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for taking the time with this, Peter. Much appreciated.

Re the question you asked me in your own thread: I trained as a RMN in Edinburgh (November 1986 intake), qualified in Feb 1990 at what used to be the South Lothian College of Nursing & Midwifery, now aligned with Napier University, and the good and not quite so good of that. lol

I'll definitely be seeing Smeaton! And having a cream tea or two.

Kat x

ValDohren on 04-03-2014
Do the Larkin Thing
You're Larkin' about here Kat - good one.
Val x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for dropping by, Val. Much appreciated.

Kat x

Ionicus on 05-03-2014
Do the Larkin Thing
Sometimes it isn't the parent but the son who is not willing to let go of mother's apron but I see your point and that's what generally happens. Clever of you to reprise Philip Larkin's
theme. Nice to read your work once again.

Luigi x


Author's Reply:
Thanks for taking the time with this, Luigi. I'm going to have a wee review of it in view of Leila's suggestions.

Hope you and all your family are well!

Kat x

Leila on 05-03-2014
Do the Larkin Thing
Hi Kat, very nicely done. Wonder if those opening lines could do with an edit...reads like the car can't help it...or is that just me. Anyway my thoughts are do you need 'can't help it'
or would
Like a dog in the back of a car
you jealously nod your head

would also mean you don't have a 'that' in line 3 followed by 'that's' in line 4...Leila

Author's Reply:
Leila, thank you so much for your suggestions and taking the time with this. I've now changed the 4th line to 'It's'. I understand the reasoning for your suggestion re 'can't help it', but that's kind of key to the meaning and slant I'm looking for - trying to capture what it looks like when people say one thing, do another, because they 'can't help it' owing to their personality/genetic makeup, what have you. lol

Whether that enlightens you or anyone else, I'm not sure. Wrote this quickly and angrily (evidently!) ;^)

Very best wishes to you

Kat x


Mr Fixit (posted on: 12-04-13)
Edited - with grateful thanks to Swep and Shelagh.

Damp and wood smells pervade - trace uneven concrete floor. Cool air gravitates to whitewashed walls.     Joinery room, you shelve seasonal fads – deck chair, cricket bat, hot water bottle. Metal camping table once my shop counter – I'd serve grapes in newspaper cones. But this is his territory – anger hammered, chiselled, eventually planed. She enters with tea and biscuits when drilling and sawing subside, crossing the threshold gingerly, like a spare part – face reflecting in brassoed pot wishing WD-40 would work miracles on her. You wrenched her heart like a twisted chamois, teeth clamped shut. Though you could be soft like pine. Your granddaughter's stilts are finished now - sand paper sheened. Your spirit level bubbles centrally – plinth tendencies back to normal. This retreat was built to measure your wrath - you made and mended much, but why did you break things in the first place?
Archived comments for Mr Fixit
Fox-Cragg on 12-04-2013
Mr Fixit
Hi Kat, there is an army of us guys like that, some good and some well just plan bad, what instructions?
Captured a lot for me in the poem, what I do and what my father and his.....
Thanks for sharing. Paul

Author's Reply:
Paul, thank you for your thoughtful comment.

What instructions? I think men should try and be more open with their feelings, not always easy for many reasons, but I think it's a sign of strength when a man can be honest, maybe even cry, not feel hemmed in by gender expectations etc., just be true to himself and his nearest and dearest... and dress up in women's clothing once in a while... ! :^)

Have a good weekend!

Kat x

stormwolf on 12-04-2013
Mr Fixit
Hi Kat



You sure are a super writer! I could never put this over like this. So much in each line, brliiantly delivered. I could read it ten times and extract more with every reading.



My father in law was like this. The kids called him "Granda sortit" and being Polish (they seem to often be incredbly skilled) he was able to turn his hand to anything of a practical nature but found personal interaction difficult.

As I have matured (ok grown old lol ) I see him in a whole new light and wish many times I could have told him many things I judged him for wrongly...but he has gone to the great work shed in the sky *sobs*



Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Alison, for a very cheering comment - much appreciated. How interesting to read that about your father-in-law, and yes, I do think that all behaviour has meaning, and trying to understand what makes others tick is so interesting and worthwhile for better mutual understanding. I have a good story about a Polish gentleman I once looked after in hospital... for another time... :^)

Kat x

Slovitt on 12-04-2013
Mr Fixit
kat: a very clear portraiture of the man and revelation of your situation. perhaps "once" instead of "used to be" my shop counter. perhaps cut "is" in 2nd line, 3rd stanza. good job in the 3rd stanza as you establish it as "his territory" and the tentativeness of your visiting in the 3rd and 4th stanzas. "twisted chamois" strong. last line, what the poem begs, and the poem's poignance with its "why". strong, sleeve of intelligent emotion. a good poem. swep

Author's Reply:
Swep, thank you for your time and suggestions which are good 'shavings', this being an 'old' poem which has become quite fixit-ed in my mind.

The 'She' of the 3rd and 4th stanzas refers to his wife (the grandmother) of the narrator. Hope that makes sense still for you.

I'll pare the bits you mention, but I may be back to this as I've had some feedback from Shelagh which I'll have a good look at.

Thanks again for taking the time with my WIP... !

Kat x

freya on 12-04-2013
Mr Fixit
Kat, a poignant and really good piece. See private message. No time for more. Shelagh xx

Author's Reply:
I'll have a good look at your very thoughtful suggestions, Shelagh. Thank you very much for taking the time.

Kat x

ValDohren on 12-04-2013
Mr Fixit
Yes, very poignant Kat, and brilliantly written. Agree with Alison, you are a super writer.

Val x

Author's Reply:
Val, thank you for reading and commenting so kindly. It's very much appreciated. This may be getting a wee tinkering with, but hopefully only to improve things... haha.

Kat x

japanesewind on 13-04-2013
Mr Fixit
Kat, loved this read which contains such density, it's good to see a poem kept and worked on, this one certainly deserves it. loved his "anger" being hammered and chiselled. The "twisted" chamois image/thought is great, I wonder though at the word choice to qualify it "wrenched." On further revisions I would give that consideration.


If you played around more with this I.E. "tightening"
please repost it I would be interested.
How long have you been modifying this poem?

All the best David


Author's Reply:
Hi David

Thank you for giving this poem your time. Yes, it's great to have the input re suggested edits. It's wonderful what others can see sometimes.

This poem is 9 years old. It didn't take long to write (I tend to write quickly in response to an impulse or motivation point, often anger... haha) - better oot than in, I always say, so hadn't had an edit until I posted here.

I only made edits last night after reading comments from Swep and Shelagh, and now I'll consider yours as well... I know what you mean about 'wrenched' being tautological, but used it for over-emphasis, if you like. I'll take another look though and see if I can tighten things a bit more.

Thanks!

Kat x


Mikeverdi on 13-04-2013
Mr Fixit
Excellent writing Kat, I think you have enough crit and advice from the gang, so I will just say thanks for the read. Xx



Author's Reply:
Thank you very much for taking the time with this. Much appreciated.

Kat x


A Drinking 'Session' (posted on: 29-03-13)
Did this here once for a challenge. Something to do with sitcoms. Can't remember the remit. :^)

Frank Spencer nurses a half pint of shandy and sips from his glass every now and then. The eminent (if you're familiar with the sitcom) radio psychiatrist, Dr Frasier Crane, is listening... Frank Spencer: It's very good of you to meet me here, Dr Crane. Having gone through the Royal College of Psychiatrists and then some, I'd given up hope of finding a suitable confidante for my, er, bit of trouble. I was told to leave their offices and not come back. Sweeps hand in dramatic gesture knocking tea into Dr Crane's saucer Sorry about that, Dr Crane... I trust my local beverage-partaking establishment finds favour with you? Smiles widely Dr Crane: Pouring Earl Grey tea back into cup from saucer Yes, The Barking Sheep is quite an hostelry. But let's get down to business. I've got to admit, Mr Spencer, that I'm intrigued. Having seen a presentation on your unique case at the 'Separating the Psychotic Wheat from the Neurotic Chaff' conference in Seattle last month, I felt I had to meet, and hopefully, treat you! Claps hands together in glee I booked my flight to England the next day. Frank Spencer: Ooh, well, er... I think I'm more of a hypnotic loaf. Smiles inanely. You see, I just don't seem to be able to hold down a job. And my Betty is expecting again - our third. We think it's going to be human. And I seem to have fallen foul of my mother-in-law since our cat did a whoopsie on her fox fur and she caught me fleeing the coop, so to speak - trying to sneak it out to the dry cleaners. Dr Crane: With pyramid-shaped hands. Yes, I'd gathered misfortune attracts itself to you like cheap sherry to a lush. Please continue. Frank Spencer: I'm beside myself with worry that my Betty's going to leave me. She said it was the final last straw when I took the children to the park to feed the ducks. This vicious-looking goose started to eat all the bread, and well, laughs nervously how was I to know it had psychopathic tendencies. It started flapping its wings and pecking at the toggles on their duffel coats – it was ha-RASSment. So I thought I'd lead it on a wild goose chase. More nervous laughter Dr Crane: Looking perplexed. I'm still listening. Frank Spencer: Well, I ended up getting the nasty thing away from them and when I went back to the pond, they were gone! I was a man possessed. Then Betty appeared with Jessica on one hand and James on the other, with a big scowl on her face. Frank! she shouted. I am he I replied. Dr Crane: I think I'm getting the picture, Mr Spencer, and in view of all your other mishaps, I think I'm ready to give you my diagnosis. You must stay with a responsible adult at all times! Gets up to leave Frank Spencer: Stands up to shake hands, knocking his head on one of the (very) mock Tudor beams which in turn collapses on top of Dr Crane, pinning him to the floor by his neck. Will you be sending the bill in the post then?
Archived comments for A Drinking 'Session'
Andrea on 29-03-2013
A Drinking Session
I remember what it was - it was the UKA 'Don't Half Talk Funny' dialogue writing exercise. Years ago:

There's a large country pub in the middle of wherever you want it to be. Suffice it to say that it's only accessible by car/bike/a long and tiring walk. No buses or trains stop anywhere near. Every Saturday night, however, this particular den of iniquity is packed with customers all liberally partaking of their favourite tipple.

These, though, are not your normal run-of-the-mill punters. All are, in some way, connected with comedy, be they writers, editors, stand-up comedians, actors or even the characters they play.


Maybe I should resurrect it, was a lot of fun, as can be seen here ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
OMG! That was a hell of a remit... haha. I remember there were some funny things written. Jay 12's comes to mind, if I remember rightly. Thanks for dropping by, Andrea. Have a good Easter!

Kat x

Ionicus on 29-03-2013
A Drinking Session
A tale that perhaps appeals to the not so young as I doubt that the youth of today are familiar with the likes of Frank Spencer and Frasier Crane, unless they have seen repeats of the shows, but amusing nonetheless.
It would have been useful to have an introduction to the setting and now that Andrea has told you what it was all about you could update your piece.
Good to see your stuff once again.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

Thanks for taking the time with this. Yes, familiarity with the key players in this is kinda necessary. It was just for fun and silly, but I always quite liked it.

Happy Easter!

Kat x

Rupe on 30-03-2013
A Drinking Session
I have to admit I spent a long time wondering why Frank Spencer and Dr Crane were in the same room together.

I think the voices come through very well - they are recognisably Frank Spencer and Dr Crane - and there are some very funny lines (the name of the conference and pecking at the toggles on the duffel coats come to mind).

The only thing that struck me is that the dialogue contains too many longish speeches, which tend to slow it down and make the characters seem a bit disconnected. You'd perhaps expect nervy types like these two to be constantly interrupting each other and flying off at tangents & I think that would give the piece more energy and comic potential. Maybe it would help if Dr Crane had more of an agenda of his own that went against what Frank Spencer was trying to say.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Rupe, thank you for your lovely and considered reply. I know you're a bit of a dab hand at 'play-writing' yourself. I'll take on board the comments re snappier dialogue and in fitting more with the character types. I'll especially take this on board when writing something new.

Sorry there's not a better intro... Andrea does that well in her reply, and offline for Easter now, so can't address that at the mo.

Happy Easter!

Kat x

orangedream on 31-03-2013
A Drinking Session
Really, really enjoyed this, Kat, and just to let you know you brigtened up a very cold and grey Easter Sunday.

Warmest wishes to you and yours;-)

Tina x

Author's Reply:
I'm delighted to read your comment, Tina. Very much appreciated. It's one of those pieces that kinda makes me laugh. I so loved 'Some Mothers Do Have 'em' and 'Frasier', so this was fun to do.

We are fed up with grey and cold weather here too. It's been a long winter with hardly a whiff of spring yet.

Kat x


Men, Huh? (posted on: 22-03-13)
Still spring cleaning. Another wee flash from 2005. *Aside to Andrea* hope I've set this out better for easier reading.

Men, Huh? Mavis and Maude reminisce about the days when they were heterosexual… Are they the only lesbians in the WRVS? Mavis loved her weekly coffee mornings with Maude. They were bosom buddies (literally) though they hadn't slept together for about ten years – each having met the woman of their dreams. They enjoyed lounging in their monogamy, and when they got together they would often hark back to 'hairier' days.      'I'll never forget when my ex-husband went shopping by himself for the first time,' Maude announced before plunging into a chocolate ้clair. Mavis waited for Maude to finish her mouthful and lick the cream from her fingers.      'He was annoyed that I couldn't come with him – I think I had to take my mother to the vet's or something, and out of spite he bought the worst pair of trousers in town!'      'They can be very spiteful, Maude,' said Mavis as she cut her jam doughnut in half and welded it back together with clotted cream.      'He wasn't the tallest of men, Mavis, and he came home with these denim bell-bottoms and they were…,' Maude swivelled her head to see if anyone could overhear, then whispered, '…from C&A! They made him look like Babar the Elephant!'      'Eew!' Mavis' face scrunched up as she dropped two sugar lumps into the froth.      'Stubborn. That was my Henry. He hated me reading in bed at night - but would he wear the frilly-edged, heart-patterned night-night mask I'd bought him? Of course not! Said it made him feel like he was part of a teenage sleepover.'      'That wouldn't worry most men, Mavis.'      'Exactly, Maude! There was always something atypical about my Henry.' Maude dabbed her mouth with a napkin and drained her cup before continuing,      'There was the time, just before we were married - we went with some friends for a nice bottle of sun-downer wine. You know the type of thing – hillock, tartan blanket, meant to be summer.' Maude beckoned the waitress for a couple more coffees,          'He had an attack of hay fever – brought on at will! He was determined he didn't want to go up that hill and enjoy himself – he moaned the whole way in between sneezes and once we got there, he knocked the wine over and I was sitting down-slope from him.' Mavis nodded sympathetically,      'I can still see Henry's face the night I told him I was leaving,' she confided as the waitress brought two overflowing cups.      'What was it you told him again, Mavis?' Maude's green eyes looked like peridots.      'I thanked him for an interesting marriage but said that I needed to find someone to stimulate me intellectually. I told him that I'd thought long and hard and that I'd come to the conclusion that being-a-lesbian-was-an-intelligent-choice. He spluttered Horlicks down his cardigan, and all I could think was how happy I was not to have to soak it in Fairy Snow - ever again. I felt empty but free as I hung my apron on the back of the kitchen door. I left half an hour later, just before the nine o' clock news. But that's enough about me, Maude. How's Doris, and are you running the white elephant stall at the summer fete?'      'Yes, Mavis. But don't get me started on Babar again!'
Archived comments for Men, Huh?
Andrea on 22-03-2013
Men, Huh?
Haha - do they live in Midsomer? Most entertaining...

(and the layout's brilliant, much easier to read!)

Author's Reply:
Delighted it's easier to read. Thanks for popping in, Andrea. Have a good weekend!

Kat x

Ionicus on 23-03-2013
Men, Huh?
Hi Kim. Nearly ignored this as I hardly read prose but seeing that it is about 500 words, and it's you, I finally succumbed.
Mavis and Maude seem a gluttonous and formidable pair. I never (knowingly) met any of that ilk but I can imagine their demeanour. I enjoyed the humour of the piece - "I think I had to take my mother to the vet's or something". -
Thanks.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading, Luigi - much appreciated.

Kat x

Weefatfella on 24-03-2013
Men, Huh?
 photo 390a8c45-a359-4a79-8c64-82ba272f2b94_zps941dd6b6.jpg
Oh My.If you'll forgive me Kat, it's a horrible picture you have placed in my mind, of these two ladies chewing their way through the worlds pastries. Cream sticking out the sides of their mouths and with anything but sweetness coming out. "Plunging into a chocolate eclair." AAgh! Brilliant though.
Loved it.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Love your comment... haha... thanks very much for taking the time with this.

Kat x

Fox-Cragg on 25-03-2013
Men, Huh?
Enjoyed the read Kat. Used to be most villages had a small tea shop. I would like to think between the white table tops and plastic covered menus such conversations were had. Yep Midsummer does come to mind, however not sorry I cannot get in Germany.
Thanks again. Paul

Author's Reply:
Laughing... thanks for taking the time with this - much appreciated.

Kat x

Texasgreg on 27-03-2013
Men, Huh?
Lol, would've liked to be the "fly on the wall' throughout. I mantain, (maintain), that the right guy just never came along, but ya never really know, huh?

Funny yet warming piece of life...

Greg ๐Ÿ™‚

Photobucket.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Greg. Much appreciated you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat x


V-Day (posted on: 18-03-13)
Inspired to write this after reading Griffoner's latest and because it affects so many people, directly or indirectly. Edited with thanks to amman and Rupe.

Cancer is a cunt a tedious monologue. Nothing to proclaim with shame. Have a ball, kick off your shoes and in your stockinged feet in a sloshed kind of way join the women on the dance floor reclaiming their position (which hasn't changed) as child bearer, hiply swaying in line smiles ear-to-ear and exuberance as good a chance as any to castrate the hidden. Chorus We want the cure! Re-eunuchfication - the beginning again. So we chatter like there is no tomorrow while coveting, no insisting on tomorrow.
Archived comments for V-Day
amman on 18-03-2013
V-Day
The defiant, hard-hitting tone gives real substance to your words. As you say. a cunt of a disease. Technically, I would have been tempted to split the 5th line and is 'hiply' an actual word?
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Hi, thank you for your comments. I think you're right re the 5th line.

Hiply is the adverb from hip... I just had to check that myself though... haha.

Recently, I've felt anger on behalf of others re this disease, and wanted to find something to try and contain that feeling and show it, while retaining the necessary energy to do something about it, so not letting the negative win. And the 2 c-words (I'm stating the obvious here) are those people don't like to mention.

People, in their own time, so want to talk about cancer and how it affects them, I find. It's not always easy for others to hear, but I'd rather listen than be a sufferer, and this goes for 'counselling' re any illness/condition.

Thanks again.

Kat x

deadpoet on 18-03-2013
V-Day
I thought this was hard hitting but necessary. I am glad you posted it. I hope more read it.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, dp. Yes, not a 'nice' poem, for sure... hadn't written a poem for over a year, but felt the need to write something like this.

Cheers

Kat

Savvi on 18-03-2013
V-Day
I like the attitude from the off, pulls no punches my kind of stuff well penned, hope you do more. S

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Savvi. Much appreciated.

Kat

Weefatfella on 19-03-2013
V-Day
 photo 390a8c45-a359-4a79-8c64-82ba272f2b94_zps941dd6b6.jpg

The See you next Tuesday word is hard hitting here, and IMO, deserved.

Too many adjectives are overused in todays texting world.
This word is a horrible word and one I never use.
Making it all the more necessary in this piece.

There is one other place it can be used to good effect.

In describing Alzheimer's and that other cunt Dementia.
There is always as you say a Victory day, well at least one.
Thank you for highlighting this terrible affliction.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much for taking the time with this.

Yes, 'that' word is a common enough swear word in certain circles, one I don't like at all, and don't want to reclaim for my nether region either... haha, which is why I brought in the allusion to The Vagina Monologues and their V-Day which could also be victory day, so thank you for your understanding.

Yes, dementia is another example and one very close to my heart.

And I must admit, there are people we can meet, and this word can be quite fitting for them too... ! :^)

Cheers

Kat x

Ionicus on 19-03-2013
V-Day
A forceful description of the big C emphasised by the little c which some people avoid using for fear of giving offence. In this case the word is perfectly justified.
The reference to the monologue is clever but may be lost to those who haven't heard of 'The Vagina Monologues'.
It is difficult not to feel for the sufferers knowing that a cure has not yet been discovered but as you rightly say it is discomforting to hear about the condition.
The issue needed to be aired. Well done.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Luigi. I appreciate your words very much. I've been observing actions and reactions around me re this at the moment, and of course, my nursing days brought it home loud and clear etc. too.

Hope you and Mrs Luigi are having a super day and have something nice planned.

Kat x

Rupe on 19-03-2013
V-Day
I like the way the two nasty Cs are equated - a very effective opening line: which is more shocking (it seems to ask) - the worst of swear words or the worst of medical conditions?

I have to admit that I got a bit lost towards the end of the first stanza & the piece feels a little unfinished.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Rupe, thanks very much for taking the time with this and for being such a good reader.

I guess the image I was trying to underline in the first stanza was that of female solidarity in its guise when women get up to dance 'the slosh' together, something they did a lot when I was growing up in the UK, often kicking off their uncomfortable party shoes to do so, and often around their handbags, now more likely to be line-dancing.

Not something I ever become a fan of, I hasten to add, but did partake in my youth... haha. And this adjacent to the image of an illness which often needs to be excised/cut out surgically to help in the cure. And underlying the role of women, perhaps since biblical times and the 'first woman' and what women are a vessel for, and how that part of them can house a hard to diagnose disease, like uterine and ovarian cancer, punishment or coincidence... just some thoughts.

The end possibly does need to be extended. I'll have a wee think...

Have added a couple more lines. I hadn't been too happy with how it seemed to end negatively (in a way), so have changed that.

Thanks again.

Kat x

Rupe on 19-03-2013
V-Day
I don't think the previous ending was negative, necessarily - just a little inconclusive. The new lines at the end do complete the arc suggested by the rest of the poem: the affirmation of life in the face of the apparently hopeless, and the sense of urgency.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Yeah... it wasn't really negative or meant to be, but the 'no tomorrow' end niggled me.

Thanks for re-entering the zone... ! and for taking the time again to read and comment. I'm much happier with this wee extension. Thanks very much for making me give this some more thought.

Kat x

orangedream on 19-03-2013
V-Day
Kat - what more can I say, except I'm glad you posted this. Hard-hitting yes, but then, so is cancer...and some.

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Tina, so glad you 'get' this... it wasn't a first line I was that comfortable with, but had to follow what artistic integrity I have... haha.

Wishing you and your husband all good things... miracles happen all the time... ! :^)

Kat x

Andrea on 20-03-2013
V-Day
I've had the Big C myself, Kat (breast) and yes, it's a cunt ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
I hope it's well behind you, Andrea, and that you are fit and well.

Thank you for taking the time with this. I really appreciate it.

Very best wishes

Kat x

Texasgreg on 27-03-2013
V-Day
Aye! Live for today and plan for tomorrow...

Super!

 photo super.jpg

Greg ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Ooh, I do like that Super 'S'... ! Much prefer it to those big guns pointing at me... haha.

Thank you for taking the time with this, Greg.

Kat x


Estelle (posted on: 15-03-13)
A repost from 2005 - spring cleaning!

When Estelle smiled it was like a glass engraving. That should have been the neon. I had never seen her delicate features so luminescent before, so unnatural, though it appeared natural at the time.      Amy flumed into the world – a bleating bundle with strawberry blond hair and dark blue eyes. Estelle's husband fussed around – bringing her strong, sweet tea and rubbing her back. One year married and they shone like light bulbs.      Estelle was nineteen and had been daft about Damian since her fourth year of high school. Their engagement didn't surprise us and we could only envelop them in hugs and chant our congratulations.              I guess we had spoiled Estelle. We bought her a silver Mini Cooper when she passed her A-levels - which she parked in the garage of the mews flat we gave her and Damian as a wedding present. We wanted to show how much we cared.      Her dad and I didn't expect the axe swing. We were suntanned from our holiday in Cancun – dipping our toes back in to routine with salsa here, flamenco there and church on Sundays.          Two weeks after the birth of our first granddaughter we slanted into each other like squint gravestones. Our family doctor flourished his signature on the document committing Estelle to hospital. We went with her - two zombies book-ending a giggling diva, while Damian looked after Amy. Estelle was diagnosed with puerperal psychosis. She was high – she'd been darting around doing odd things - trying to microwave her bank cards and she thought Damian was poisoning her. A neighbour had discovered Estelle sitting outside their flat in the Mini, singing soprano-style, with nothing on but her nursing bra. Little Amy was sleeping in her car seat. Four weeks later we sat at Estelle's case conference. She wasn't getting better. She was hard and shiny like a skyscraper and whooping up bedlam in the ward. The staff and patients were fond of her - the resident clown. She cheered them up with her hyperactivity, silly jokes and permanent grin. She bossed the nurses around, telling them to clean her salon aka 'Fingertips Massage Parlour'. She phoned out for pizza and then was too busy to eat and would give it away to the others – and the plants and the tropical fish.      Medicine hadn't helped. ECT was mentioned. A Damian blur grabbed the consultant by his lapels and stapled him to the wall – a pair of grappling suits, and there was Estelle waving in at us from the corridor.      I drove home that afternoon like three monkeys rolled into one. I didn't see the red light, or I didn't understand it, and my scream was silent. Amy starts school after the summer. A granddaughter to be proud of with beautiful long hair and freckles dotted across her nose. Estelle recovered rapidly after the ECT – coming out of her fugue like an elusive alpine flower. It's as if it all never happened. My husband pushes me down the aisle after the church service - I place my money in the collection plate, then brace myself for the ramp and the cold air.          
Archived comments for Estelle
littleditty on 15-03-2013
Estelle
wow Kat, this is good, sparse and detailed enough in all the right places, an emotional journey well managed, big story in bitesize -enjoyed. ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Hi ld! so lovely to 'see' you again. Hope you're well and happy.

Your comments mean a lot as last year I was going to have a pyre! Haha.

It's a funny thing to reread things. Sometimes it seems they have something, sometimes not. That's the great thing about long-distance editing eyes.

A bite-sized big story - love that.

Hope you're posting soon.

Have a lovely weekend,

Kat x

Andrea on 15-03-2013
Estelle
Some fabulous metaphors going on here. Love lines like this: A Damian blur grabbed the consultant by his lapels and stapled him to the wall . An excellent short, if I may say so.

Only thing I'd suggest is completely left-justifying and a para break where you have an indent, as it makes for much easier reading on-screen.

If you hadn't turned off the ratings, I'd have given it a 9 ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Andrea, thank you for that - much appreciated. I'll take note of your suggestions for the next posting, or attend to it this time around when I get a minute.

Cheers!

Kat x

Griffonner on 15-03-2013
Estelle
I'm still misty eyed. What did you do that to me for? ๐Ÿ˜€

Really well done, Kat. (I hope it isn't biographical in any way.)

I rate this highly ********

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Griffoner. I appreciate you taking the time with this very much.

It's based around real events from when I was nursing... the real was worse.

Kat x

japanesewind on 15-03-2013
Estelle
Hello Kat, your opening 2 sentences bamboozled me.

I think I get the gist but it's a tenuous one for me, especially coupled with the word "luminescent" which would be "a kind of neon"?



your sky scraper comparison worked well for me,

and i enjoyed your "book ending zombies"





Great ending, I assume the "mother" was injured at the traffic lights ? If so you were right to give the reveal so much space, and the way you did it was very good.



regards...David

Author's Reply:
Hi David

Thank you for taking the time with this.

With 'neon' if you exchange it for 'sign' that's the meaning I hoped for.

Yes, the mother was confined to a wheelchair afterwards.

Thanks for your encouraging words.

Kat x

Weefatfella on 15-03-2013
Estelle
Weefat sh. photo f444513d-ee51-4e3a-901d-53b87f952c49_zps521058b0.jpg
I was kinda lost at points but after the second read I got it I think.
I liked {I didnโ€™t see the red light, or I didnโ€™t understand it}
Even after so many years driving I know exactly what you mean by this. A lot of info squeezed in.
I liked it and look forward to a better understanding of same.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for trying to get this... very much appreciated. I was trying to write it without too much reveal and also trying to not use overly-used expressions/cliches. It can be hard to get the balance right, but I think it reads fairly straightforwardly, at least to me... haha... which may not be a good thing.

Kat x

amman on 16-03-2013
Estelle
Hi Kat.

So much clever, metaphorical stuff/language going on in this sad and emotional story. Love the 2nd para 'Amy flumed into the world...' with its alliteration and the spareness of the language. Great ending that allows the reader to connect the dots.

Perhaps ' neon light' in the 2nd sentence.

Thank you for the lesson in how to construct a short, short story.

Regards.

Tony.

Author's Reply:
Tony, I appreciate you reading this very much. Thank you for the kind comments.

For 'neon' I meant 'sign' - was trying to say it in a different way/be poetic... I hope I didn't overdo it. :^)

I don't know about any flair for construction. It's such a hit and miss trying to put into words what you're trying to convey. I hate overthinking the boring stuff as found in the manual HOW TO WRITE A SHORT STORY... haha.

Kat x

Rupe on 16-03-2013
Estelle
It's very good. As others have said, the gaps you've left in the narrative work very well - they give the piece an undercurrent of dread I think. The denial in that apparently offhand line 'it's all as if it never happened' is particularly disturbing, because we're not sure exactly what did happen. I'm not sure if I joined up all the dots correctly, but will keep trying.

One thing I did wonder about was whether the way in which the timeframe keeps jumping around in the opening paragraphs is a good thing or not. It makes it a little harder to read. I particularly wondered how the third sentence ('I had never seen') fits into the narrative - what point in the story does that relate to?

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Please see below, Rupe.

Cheers!

Kat

Kat on 16-03-2013
Estelle
Rupe, thank you very much for reading and commenting.

'I had never seen' refers to what goes before in the previous sentences. The narrator proclaiming that she'd never seen her daughter so ill-looking (if you like). Her features/face had taken on a shiny pallor - she didn't look like herself, and this can indeed be the case when people are mentally ill.

Thanks again.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

OldPeculier on 16-03-2013
Estelle
Some great use of language.

I did get a bit lost at times but maybe that is just me; I like things simple.

Thanks.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. Much appreciated.

Kat x

Slovitt on 16-03-2013
Estelle
kat: a lot of charged language and original images. agree with jp about the first couple of lines but with your substitution of "sign" for "neon" they clear up. why not change "neon" to "sign". beyond that an emotional story and one i'm not completely sure i followed but one that seems to clear up at the end. "like three monkeys" is wonderful. glad for estelle, for amy. swep

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your great comments, Swep. Yes, perhaps I should just change 'neon' to 'sign'. I'll have a wee think about it. No point in being unnecessarily obtuse, though my husband might claim they are my middle names... haha.

Kat x

Fox-Cragg on 10-04-2013
Estelle
Hi Kat,
Only now finding time to run down work from the past. This I like very much. I will not add more than already said.
Could read such work over and over.
All the best for more !
Paul

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Paul. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment very much.

Kat x


I Want To Write Music (posted on: 25-02-13)
From 2004... edited

I used to read and play it, a short career spanning eight to twelve years of age. An attempt to please my father but I had no real interest in the accordion, though beautiful and capable of baritone and stradella. It was the practice, I'd much rather play than work, and work for me it was, not a slave to love like the music I want to write now. Each October the Perth festival loomed like a rabid dog, yelping at me to practise, practise, practise - perform. I was shy no poodle, I did it all for Dad and Charlie Duncan, the teacher who had the magic muse. In 1973 I won and became under-ten Scottish Champion playing Berceuse – it was contrapuntal. A small silver cup stayed with me for a while, but the daily practice – my heart wasn't in it. The following year, I nearly excised the end of my left middle finger, trying to reload an airgun. A painful denouement, a throbbing realisation, I'd had enough. My dad took it well as I bellowed You don't have to play the bloody thing! I wanted no more heavy instrument, that smelled of leather and took such effort. I regret it, so I want to write music. I want to squeeze you into the keys that sing in my head, desperate to find an audience for my cabaret.
Archived comments for I Want To Write Music
Slovitt on 25-02-2013
I Want To Write Music
kat: now this is one you've obviously worked on a lot. a smooth read down the page, and line by line your tale told, and developed, and then, cleanly resolved. a good poem kat. swep

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Swep - much appreciated.

Kat x

amman on 26-02-2013
I Want To Write Music
This says a lot about the father/daughter relationship and what a young girl might do to please her father. So many good lines but especially the terrific denouement in the final 3 lines; real poetry.
Perhaps a typo in second verse..should this be 'no shy poodle'?
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Hi amman, thanks for commenting. Yes, normally 'no shy poodle' is the usual way to phrase this but I was trying to detract from the cliche a bit by rearranging it... haha.

Best wishes

Kat

Ionicus on 26-02-2013
I Want To Write Music
A good tale of love/hate relationship with a particular instrument, the accordion, together with a belated regret of not having pursued a musical path. The word stradella in this context was new to me.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Luigi, thank you very much for taking the time with this. I so loved the sound, the fun of the accordion, but I was too young to appreciate it at the time. Whenever I go home to Scotland, my dad always asks if I'd like to play something on his accordion - never able to comprehend that I have no memory of those skills then... it wasn't like riding a bike... ;^)

Kat x

Texasgreg on 27-02-2013
I Want To Write Music
That was wonderful and really did a super job of describing the inner-yearnings of a child vs. the will of parenting with best intent.

I wanted to play the trumpet as a child and was refused the opportunity as I was told that I didn't have it in me to practice the way I should...

Funny how life deals out cards, eh?



Bravo!



Greg ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Greg, thank you for reading and commenting.

Yes, parents can be a fickle folk, eh? I wanted to be a dancer, and return to ballet classes I used to get between the ages of 2-4, but when we moved to Scotland from England when I was 5, this never happened, despite my frequent requests.

So, my husband and I do our best to give our son what he appears to want/need on a River-led basis (River being his name).

Thank you again, and I hope you're doing all you want to now.

Kat x


Why Is It? (posted on: 22-02-13)
Edited with thanks to Swep and e-griff

The lump under my arm and the nodule in my buttock erupted within a routine day of loving you, and him! hard won after twenty years of infertility. You darted my rump with learned precision to the upper outer quadrant to keep the pregnancy going, to maintain my point to life. The egg donor looked like me. We shared professions and the love of writing. I can see her open smile and dark eyes which he has! haloed with curly hair. And now I fear he's meant to be the memory of me: the irony.
Archived comments for Why Is It?
Slovitt on 22-02-2013
Why Is It?
kat: i believe i'd cut the first 2.5 lines, thus starting with "the lump". some good specific details i.e. "the lump/under my arm and the nodule/in my buttock"/ and "you darted my rump" and some wonderful personal details i.e. "and him/who was hard won after/twenty years.../ and then, your stripped-to-the-bone close, "And so I fear he's meant to be/the memory of me: the irony." good sounds throughout and a certain irony in the neat tie-off to the poem, which is a crafted control of emotion. a good poem. swep

Author's Reply:
Swep, I think you're right, though the starting point and kind of point to show in the poem was the fretting of someone fearing loss of happiness when she had it, but that was just an entry in and not necessary and I'm chopping as I type.

Thank you very much for taking the time with this.

Kat x

deadpoet on 22-02-2013
Why Is It?
Wow- amazing poem

Author's Reply:
Thank you, dp - much appreciated. I'm going to cut as Swep has suggested as I agree with him, so should make the poem tighter.

Kat

ValDohren on 22-02-2013
Why Is It?
Very poignant Kat - excellent.

Val

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Val. Very much appreciated.

Kat x

Ionicus on 23-02-2013
Why Is It?
It is my turn to be awed by your penmanship, Kim. An excellent and deep poem.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, dear Luigi. Have a good Sunday!

Kat x

e-griff on 24-02-2013
Why Is It?
You can of course ignore the following comment. Stepping where young Swep has trod is... ๐Ÿ˜‰

On the present form, I would say :

Leave out 'who was'

'lifeline to living ' smacks of redundancy to me. Maybe just lifeline would serve?

And ' still' is a questionable, rather overused word in my estimation.

Nice classy exposition either way.

John G

Author's Reply:
Please read below... thanks again!

Kat x

Kat on 25-02-2013
Why Is It?
John, many thanks for your input. You've often given me good editorial advice when posting here, and this is no exception. I like your suggestions and have used them, more or less.

I wasn't really happy with the 'lifeline to living' bit myself (too cliched and soppy). I've change it to 'point to life'. I was trying to maintain the idea that it was everything to the subject to be able to have children, as opposed to believing this is the case per se.

I've changed 'still' to 'can'... I think this works better.

Thank you very much.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Texasgreg on 27-02-2013
Why Is It?
I too have benefitted from the kindness of others not as close to my subs. While I haven't seen the "before" version, this 'un is provoking indeed!

Greg ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you for popping in, Greg. There have been a couple of snips, nothing too dramatic with the essence of the poem pretty much there still.

Yes, I really rate UKA for the help its members give others. And I like the posting/subbing format - all very straightforward and easy and professional-looking on the 'page'.

Must donate something from my next pay cheque!

Kat x


Once Upon A Weekend (posted on: 18-02-13)
Repost... it must be the age I am... doing a lot of revisiting... while I still can... ha!

Our self-catering cottage was cute. We felt at home when we stumbled in drunk after the first night. Daylight dawned and the fresh air of a Scottish summer snapped at our ankles like a West Highland terrier. A car jaunt to the ice rink where two out of four teetered and swished. How could anyone have weak ankles? A cycling session promised sun through a bruised sky. Bracken-sided lanes cuddled in. The boys had raced ahead, doubled back and were ensconced by the car radio for the footie results. Go-karting beckoned and we loved to lap each other like veteran grand prix-ers. Horse riding was a lone affair while the others huddled, hiding from a hard breeze. Souvenir hunting was a hoot – animal glass figurines enchanted. We had to pick up a penguin which the craftsman adeptly gift-wrapped, despite having trouble finding the end of the sellotape with his hooked hand. Our last night involved a coal fire singsong with me refusing to go home until 'American Pie' was sung. And the return journey was fun – we were young and full of holidays to come
Archived comments for Once Upon A Weekend
barenib on 18-02-2013
Once Upon A Weekend
Sounds like a good time was had by all, a nice memory well expressed - John.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, John - much appreciated.

Kat x

Slovitt on 18-02-2013
Once Upon A Weekend
kat: "we were young and full of holidays to come", and so that wistful line becomes increasingly an irony. youth isn't foolish, it's just youth, a phase, and then life goes on and we change almost day-to-day. swep

Author's Reply:
Love that comment, Swep... so perceptive and true, and if only we knew it at the time (sometimes!), but then, that wouldn't be life/living... you almost make me relish ageing... haha.

Kat x

Ionicus on 19-02-2013
Once Upon A Weekend
No need to be afraid of aging, Kim, and losing our sense of fun.
I have just reached 78 years and I still crack infantile jokes.
I am a believer that you are as young as you feel. I know, I know, an old cliche.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
I definitely agree with you on that, dear Luigi, and you are certainly a very fine example... !

Yes, fun and laughter/positive thinking keeps what matters most alive.

*whispers* I've got one of those big birthdays coming up later this year, and I am beginning to fret a wee bit... never have before, but I'm sure my 4 year old son, and 'toyboy' husband will help to keep me juvenile... haha.

Thank you for reading.

Kat x


And Then You Came (posted on: 18-02-13)
Inspired to repost this after reading Slovitt's latest. And some things just need repeating.

In the Moon When the Leaves Fall off… Before my heart was buried I galloped with the buffalo as free as they were. I knew the succulence of the plains and when it was rattlesnake skinny, succour could be squeezed from our commune with nature. And then you came. I trusted, loved, gave, you didn't have to take. Your darting eyes appraised my strength, my dignity, my land. Falling in love with my desirability, my fertility, was easy. But your beastly manifesto manipulated our destiny. Like a sadist adept in foreplay you weren't satisfied until the labia of our squaws stretched across your Stetson – it was a red rag to Sitting Bull. And then you came, and we went.
Archived comments for And Then You Came
Slovitt on 18-02-2013
And Then You Came
kat: muscular lines and rich language. you survey and compress the history of a people and a period, and with feeling. some memorable lines "rattlesnake skinny", "like a sadist adept in foreplay", "you weren't satisfied until the labia/of our squaws...". strong poem kat. swep

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Swep. I much appreciate you reading this.

In the pecking order of oppression/repression/extermination, I feel women/girls still get the roughest ride (no pun intended). Although this was written with the American Indians in mind, its subject matter of abuse is still too widespread.

Thanks for inspiring me to re-air this.

Kat x

ValDohren on 18-02-2013
And Then You Came
Excellent write Kat, and I agree that women/girls continue to get the roughest ride.

Val

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Val. Very much appreciated.

Kat x

japanesewind on 18-02-2013
And Then You Came
Kat you did this subject proud, stuffed with imagery and thought provoking....D



David ...Kat

Author's Reply:
Thank you, D... D is for... ?

Kat x

Savvi on 18-02-2013
And Then You Came
powerful lines, deep in meaning I really enjoyed this, thanks for sharing. S

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Savvi, for taking the time - much appreciated.

Kat x

Ionicus on 19-02-2013
And Then You Came
An excellent poem on the plight of American Indians, Kim.
Having said that I disagree with your statement that women/girls still get the roughest ride. Although this might have been true in the past, the women of today, in this country at least, have emancipated enormously and they have great opportunities. At risk of sounding like a misogynist I echo Harold McMillan's "We never had it so good".

Luigi x

PS I don't quite get the connection of the first line "In the Moon When the Leaves Fall offโ€ฆ" to the rest of the poem.


Author's Reply:
Luigi, thank you for reading and commenting, and I agree with you re the women of today - things are much better, of course, and especially in 'the west', but there's still a hell of a lot of insiduous stuff going on that both sexes can take for granted, thus do nothing about, and so things continue. I could give many examples, but one, from my nursing days...

people tend to think of nurses as being female, there are many male nurses, but more female, for a variety of cultural/sociological reasons it's the men who still get most of the promoted/managerial posts... certainly not based on merit. I was 'lucky' and was promoted over men for posts in psychiatry, but had to put up with the envy of my former male friends and comments such as 'not to get my knickers in a twist' when I had important points to make re patient care etc.

And I'm thinking of women all over the world, and especially the present excellent campaign CNN are promoting: Freethegirls.com - very inspiring about one lady's decision to help stop slave trafficking of young girls for sex by giving them a safe house and the means to make an income and be autonomous, simply by selling donated bras - it's worth a look. It's funny how life has a circularity... not burning bras to be emancipated but selling them to earn a living wage... and they are worn so proudly.

I'll stop there... haha... and thank you again for taking the trouble.

The first line you mention refers to how I believe the American Indians referred to seasons.

Keep rocking, young man!

Kat x

Andrea on 19-02-2013
And Then You Came
Absolutely brilliant, Kat! The destruction of a nation...

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Andrea. Very much appreciated.

Kat x

Kat on 20-02-2013
And Then You Came
Just wanted to highlight this too:
http://www.scotsman.com/news/emma-cowing-reeva-steenkamp-coverage-disturbing-1-2799923

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 20-02-2013
And Then You Came
A fantastic write, and other than that, it has all been said. Welll done on the more than deserved nib.

Tina;-)x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Tina - very much appreciated.

Kat x

Mikeverdi on 20-02-2013
And Then You Came
I agree with Tina, it's all been said. Brilliant!

Author's Reply:
Thank you - very much appreciated.

Kat x

amman on 21-02-2013
And Then You Came
My first look at your poetry. Powerful stuff indeed. Rich language that encapsulates the fate of a people.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, amman. Much appreciated.

Kat


Men (posted on: 01-02-13)
A repost from 2007

So, you've realised we don't need you, and now you seek the secret scent of our lady-like strength. Your nail-bitten fingers caress silk gussets through the tulle of our wedding dresses. But, panty envy will get you nowhere. Just live up to your gender – be a man who embraces feminine ways, and admits to borrowing our clothing, once in a while.
Archived comments for Men
butters on 01-02-2013
Men
hahaha...

nice contrasts of texture, the masc/fem; whilst I don't buy into that 'we don't need men' thinking, I do like this humourous take on living.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting, butters - much appreciated.

Kat x

stormwolf on 01-02-2013
Men
Good one! I think men can look very sexy in women's panties but that's maybe too much information hehe

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Haha... and there was an 'incident' that inspired me to write this. Thanks for taking the time with this.

Kat x

Andrea on 01-02-2013
Men
Hahaha - loved it! Now for some blokey comments...

Author's Reply:
Glad you enjoyed this one, Andrea.

I thought of you yesterday as I flew back to Stuttgart from Edinburgh via Amsterdam. Treated myself (during the 3 hour connecting flight wait) to a lovely fish platter (in Bubbles?) and fine glass of white wine... couldn't quite stretch to the Taittinger everyone else seemed to be drinking... haha.

Kat x

Slovitt on 01-02-2013
Men
kat: not much into women's clothing on men, i do like to see what the female looks like under hers. springy little poem. swep

Author's Reply:
Mmm... I'll have to see if I can transgender this one... haha.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Kat x

Slovitt on 01-02-2013
Men
kat: not much into women's clothing on men, i do like to see what the female looks like under hers. springy little poem. swep

Author's Reply:

Savvi on 01-02-2013
Men
I do, I admit it, ...................socks mostly ๐Ÿ™‚

I enjoyed your descriptions and rough contrast I would like to be able to say I dont bite my nails, but I do. S

Author's Reply:
*Laughing* Thanks for taking the time with my wee ditty.

Kat x

Bozzz on 01-02-2013
Men
Kat, you will have a problem. In some species, females can self-produce, but produce only more women, not men. Careful what you wish for. A woman in a close-fitting satin dress gets my prize in Valhalla. Things beneath are merely toy hurdles in the sprint to the tape. Enjoyed the race !..... Bozzz

Author's Reply:
Great comment, thank you! I'll have to let my husband know he's got a reprieve... haha.

Kat x

ValDohren on 03-02-2013
Men
Men in women's panties doesn't bear thinking about - so stick to Y-fronts per-lease !!! Nice little ditty Kat.

Val ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Haha... yes, my way of thinking too... I was never one for The Chippendales sort of night out... haha. It's what's between the ears that impresses me.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Kat x

niece on 05-02-2013
Men
Why does "Men in Women's clothing" sound so similar to "Wolf in Sheep's clothing"? ... loved the poem and esp. loved the title if you say it in that special way ๐Ÿ˜› ...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Niece, is there no end to your astuteness? Haha... thanks for taking the time with this.

Kat x


Come Fly with Me (posted on: 25-01-13)
Have now added a less wordy poem below this one on the same subject written in 2005. How things change... ! And thanks to Swep! I've erased a couple of the wordier words now... and changed the title (my idea)not much difference perhaps, but it's always worth listening to him, I find. :^)

You're the strongest man I know, doing the uncommon thing to stand tall against her, while cradling our son in stable arms – the child we've waited years for. You believe in me, despite my frequent lapses into self-doubt and mourning, for lost causes and mothers. DM and SN were squidgy weak, lacking in calcium. I could poke them with love, but they couldn't respond responsibly, appropriately. You hide your assets under a wry smile, masked by a marbled stoicism, but you're not impervious – you are human, though hard for scorned women to believe as you honour me with open-ness and transparency. I can see your red heart, pumping out your grace in accepting my foibles, my blasphemies. Your shy intelligence is about to gloriously soar out of the stratosphere of your integrity, which has, somewhat, hindered your orbit. I'm launching you from my re-discovered catapult! Your star won't be brassed into Hollywood Boulevard – your star will shoot to celestial spaces and explode like a goody box of diamonds, to shower upon those willing to look beyond infinity. What You Do You tuck your Homer Simpson boxers under your pillow then lurch sleepily to the shower. You hum a pop tune and get in a right lather as you rouse yourself good-humouredly. You slap your face with after shave which tracks you like a stalker for the rest of the day and I taste it with my coffee. You surround a squeezed peppermint teabag with satsuma peal – it looks like art. You're not the type to pool milk like old boyfriends who even made puddles of the powdered kind. Your steady ways carve morning like an alpine skier and I love it when you make faces in the mirror, enabling your blade to slide off your throat in an uphill downhill stroke.
Archived comments for Come Fly with Me
Slovitt on 25-01-2013
I Know Who You Are
kat: a lot said and a lot of emotion. a lot of it said well. perhaps for the best version the poem could find, a little too much telling and talking but maybe that's not the point of this piece. swep

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Swep, for reading and commenting. I know what you mean... this is kind of an update from another I wrote which was more oblique and less wordy... but it kind of stands, I think... maybe, just... !

Kat x

barenib on 25-01-2013
I Know Who You Are
Kat - a very expressive (slightly expressionist?) poem which is sometimes jagged, sometimes softer and with some nice surprising catapult lines - John

Author's Reply:
Hi John

How lovely to get a comment from you - thanks! The way you describe the poem sounds a lot like its author... haha.

Hope to read some of your very fine work again soon, and do you know where the jaunty and erudite pencilcase is these days?

Kat x

barenib on 26-01-2013
I Know Who You Are
I like the older poem too - times do indeed change. Steve is fine (saw him last night) but hasn't written much of late - I must try and persuade him to start again! J.

Author's Reply:
John, thanks for coming back - much appreciated. Please pass on my best to Steve. He kindly let me use a poem of his I admired in the short novel I wrote and submitted to MMU.

Have a good weekend!

Kat x

ValDohren on 26-01-2013
I Know Who You Are
Loved it, particularly the last verse of the first part: Your star won't be brassed etc, although I won't pretend to understand the write, I just know I was enthralled by it.
Val

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Val - much appreciated.

Kat

Texasgreg on 27-01-2013
I Know Who You Are
He sounds like a rock, IMO.

http://ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=28005

Super write and you're both lucky. Him because he makes you feel that way, you because he makes you feel that way...

Greg ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Hey... that's him... haha.

Thank you for a lovely comment and for taking the time to link me to your beautiful poem.

Have a great week, Greg!

Kat x


Your Face in the Morning (posted on: 18-01-13)
~

Your dark eyes are fringed with a genius stroke of silky lash. Asymmetrical cherub cheeks rouged with the flush of sleep bob from side to side to see me creep into your room eager as your pummelling feet to peek at your face in the morning. Your face - it's like you'd forgotten people exist, and then you remember.
Archived comments for Your Face in the Morning
Slovitt on 18-01-2013
Your Face in the Morning
kat: strong poem suffused with love. do stumble at "eager as your pummeling feet" though i know what you mean. not fitted exactly flush into the stanza. all of which brings us to
a last stanza that creates an opportunity for the reader of just-right, and interaction

Your face--it's like
you'd forgotten people exist,
and then
you remember.

good poem. swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep

Thanks very much for your comments and input. I will peruse all comments and suggestions. I like yours.

Have a good weekend!

Kat x

stormwolf on 18-01-2013
Your Face in the Morning
Lovely and the last stanza says it all. How I remember those special times. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Hi Alison

Thank you for dropping by. Much appreciated.

Kat x

japanesewind on 18-01-2013
Your Face in the Morning
Hiya Kat, I too stumbled where Swep did, like this poem though, smart ending......D

Author's Reply:
Hi D

I will revisit this and see what I can do. Thank you for taking the time.

Kat x


Anti-Crow (posted on: 11-01-13)
You know those annual letters people sometimes send at Christmas-time?

It's been an eventful year. Chris is (still) trying to get an academic position in Edinburgh the city I've missed for twelve years. Another episode of depression black-dogged me. Think post-natal sandwiched between reactive/endogenous. It was bad. Chris cared for me and River allowing no surplus stress into our home. He allowed me to lie in bed, for hours, weekends, sleeping, hoping always to wake recharged and cured, and not be strung up on hang-woman fantasies. To feel love for Chris and River reserving hate for me. Self-reproach, blame, shame, oh, the shame... So when our friends sent their annual epistle, with cheery, glowing photos of five happy, healthy people framed in sugar-frosted words, I had to rant. Why did they feel the need to swagger, with no hint of trauma or misfortune, no bad luck, no errant fuck, no toddler with the terrible twos, no mother-in-law as psycho, no totally-lost-the-plot-the-point-to-life-fiasco, no sick of being home-sick, no fantasy of Death. Only jolly life and jolly phrases and being a 'Family Manager' not a burnt-out, dilapidated, wish-I-was-a-much-better-mother-kind-of-syndrome sufferer.      I swear, how we would have welcomed a craned ear, a call, a how's it going, just happened to be passing, here we are, a postcard from the sunny climes and ski slopes of their lives, and not this summary, spin-doctoring shite into works of fart, consumed by the consumerism of Happy-ness.
Archived comments for Anti-Crow
CVaughan on 11-01-2013
Anti-Crow

Spot on here Kat. From bitter experience I can empathise, a terrific black humour piece. You only get the like from life's great (in their unhumble opinion) achievers. Frank

Author's Reply:
Laughing... thanks, Frank.

Have a good weekend

Kat

orangedream on 11-01-2013
Anti-Crow
A poem, seemingly written from the heart, Kat.

I can so identify, along with many others, I have no doubt.

I have never understood the logic in sending those mass produced 'newsletters'. As you point out, in many cases they are totally inappropriately sent, if indeed one considers it appropriate to send the bloody things at all!!

Tina ;-)x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for taking the time with this, dear Tina. I do believe in letting it out... in a poem... very therapeutic.

Have a good weekend!

Kat x

japanesewind on 11-01-2013
Anti-Crow
You captured well here a deeper human malaise, other than depression, something to ponder I think.

well wrote, no dwelling on the "pity me"which drag these pieces down, just BANG right to the heart of it......D

Author's Reply:
Thank you, D, for your considered comment. Much appreciated.

Kat

Slovitt on 12-01-2013
Anti-Crow
kat: a side of you, whether it's strictly biographical or not, that you don't normally show. strongly emotional poem with a number of incisive observations. there is a wholeness to your good poem. swep

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Swep.

When I wrote this it was 'after the events' if you like, but triggered indeed, by receipt of a Christmas summary letter. Nothing wrong with them per se, but this particular one did come from people who like to paint everything good, with not a lot of time for those not as 'positive' as them. The kind of people who've been lucky with their lot, and haven't perhaps experienced much 'hardship' in their lives, which I don't wish on anyone... but no-one likes a smug gloater... haha.

Hope you have a good weekend!

Kat x

Ionicus on 12-01-2013
Anti-Crow
Kim, you have hit the nail on the head with this. Those round-robin letters that circulate usually at Christmas time are unnecessary and give a false picture of the events. We never hear that the father and his third wife have separated or that the younger daughter is now a single mother, etc, etc.
Well you get the picture. This topic was discussed here in the UK on BBC Radio 4, on the 'Today' programme, where Lynn Truss read six sarcastic versions of how to reply to these missive. Hilarious.
Take care,

Luigi x


Author's Reply:
Dear Luigi

Thank you so much for this comment. Loved the sound of the Lynn Truss letters.

Kim x

Texasgreg on 12-01-2013
Anti-Crow
spin-doctoring shite into works of fart,
consumed by the consumerism
of Happy-ness.


Hehe, Kat!

Aye, seems I saw a movie with this take. All is well in Christmasland, eh?

Good Job...

Greg ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Greg, thank you for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

Kat

Bozzz on 12-01-2013
Anti-Crow
Reminds me of my ex-boss's favourite e-mailed reply to messages he did not like : "To Hell with you. Offensive letter follows". Enjoyed the read. Bozzz

Author's Reply:
Laughing... love that. Thanks for reading.

Kat

stormwolf on 13-01-2013
Anti-Crow
Hi Kat

Not only was this painful to read but boy, can I empathize. Those seemingly 'perfect' folk get on my wick.
When you make it back to this fine city, I would love to meet you and give you a session of crystals and Reiki on the house ๐Ÿ˜‰
It may be just what the doctor ordered and it would be a pleasure to do it for you.

Alison xx

Author's Reply:
Dear Alison

What a chuckle I'm having reading this thread. Thank you so much for your kind offer which I would love to take you up on... and 'on the house' sounds daring... I hope it's a bungalow!

Kat x


Bavaria Incites (posted on: 07-01-13)
Written in 2005.

Bavaria Incites There's a half moon between two scarp sculpted mountains. Peachy clouds slip to the sunset - one fleecy eyebrow remains and I feel lovingly watched. The onion-domed church cherubs the hour, but I know what time it is, as beauty lulls me like the cowbells. Spruced green splashes sweep upwards, not majestically – better than that. And the swallows are always there cheerleading the scenery gulping, gasping. Sixty-odd years ago, a woman like me couldn't have done this – admire Hitler's inspiration.
Archived comments for Bavaria Incites
Slovitt on 07-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
Kat: all of your discription the set-up for your strong last stanza. and no you couldn't have. good return piece. swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep

I had replied (I thought) but no record of it, so trying again...

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated. This is its debut!

Best wishes

Kat x

Savvi on 07-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
Drenched and dreaming in perfect sight and sound then slapped awaked by the last stanza, Loved it. S

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Savvi. Much appreciated.

Kat

orangedream on 08-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
It's so very good to read you again, Kat;-)

Some wonderful imagery here, and delicious aliteration, especially in this stanza:-

Spruced green splashes
sweep upwards, not majestically โ€“
better than that.
And the swallows are always there
cheerleading the scenery
gulping, gasping.

Magic;-)

All best wishes.

Tina;-)

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Tina! It was time to air this one... I'd always been reluctant for some reason.

Kat x

Ionicus on 08-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
Very thought provoking, Kat. Good pieces like this last the distance. Get writing, don't leave it so long.

Luigi x

PS How's the nipper?

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

Thank you very much for your encouraging comments. Much appreciated.

The nipper is (thankfully) not nipping so much these days, so I'm hoping to find that precious time to write again... haha. River is 4 now.

We're still in Germany but on the cusp of moving back to Edinburgh... I've only waited 12 years... !

Kat x

stormwolf on 08-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
Simply beautiful writing. The last line adds the spice.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Alison. I've got the notes down for a kind of part 2 to this poem which I'll try and get down to sometime this year... haha.

Wishing you a wonderful 2013!

Kat x

Texasgreg on 09-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
Aye! Even the most warped of mind can have flashes that inspire. I'm just glad we didn't end up in his empire, lol.

Good stuff!

Greg ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, Greg.

Several years ago I watched the biopic of Hitler with Robert Carlyle as the lead. I thought it an excellent portrayal of a very troubled and complicated man (to put it mildly). I think it opens with scenes from Hitler's childhood with his parents. The portrayal (for me) managed to elicit some sympathy/empathy/understanding, though, of course, the man was an exterminator/ethnic cleanser.

Having lived in Germany for the last 13 years, I have an understanding of how awful it is for German nationals to carry 'guilt' for atrocities committed in the Nazi era, especially the younger generation, but the older too.

The stereotype of the goose-stepping, rude, arrogant, ranting German person with towels at the ready to plant on sun loungers wherever they holiday, has worn thin, but is still portrayed, especially via Hollywood. The baddies are often German or look German or sound German etc.

I think people need to modernize their thinking and shake off racial prejudices, the very ones the Nazis were guilty of.

However... I'm also aware of the rise of the neo-Nazis here (and why that is), especially in the former eastern parts, and also you say:

'I'm just glad we didn't end up in his empire...'

Mmm... food for thought when we look around the globe and see evidence of similar atrocities still taking place, in most countries I can think of.

I've also recently experienced more subtle and insiduous evidence of 'Nazi-thinking' which prompted me to post this poem.

Sorry for the long response, but these thoughts/feelings inspired this poem.

Thanks again, for taking the time with this, Greg.

Best wishes

Kat

Mikeverdi on 09-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
Terrific writing! I loved it. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Mike! Much appreciated.

Kat

Andrea on 09-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
That last stanza came with a punch!

Great to see you posting again.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, Andrea.

Best wishes to you and your family for 2013!

Kat x

franciman on 09-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
Hi there and Welcome Back?
You don't just paint the scene Kat. you scribble in the smallest detail and tilt your reader into an alpine meadow.
The last two lines slap the reader in the face and say consider this; go deeper.
It's great poetry, but more endearing still is the brave way you reply to comments. Your view, like your verse is honest, unbiased and thought provoking.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Jim, for a prize comment. I'm very appreciative of the way you've 'gotten' the poem.

It was one of those experiences whereby I've tried to put into words what I saw and felt as I sat on a balcony in a lovely alpine village in Aschau-im-Chiemgau, not far from the Austrian border and Berchtesgaden (in)famous for the 'Eagle's Nest' Hitler had built.

For me the area is the equivalent of the Scottish Highlands which I love. Lakes/lochs + mountains+bell-ringing alpine cows or orange,shaggy Highland cows! and the sense time has stood still in many areas despite tourism.

The scenery, thoughts etc. came to me as is. I edited before posting as I had put a 'nationality' for the woman, then thought best to leave open - more universal.

Thank you again.

Best wishes

Kat


niece on 09-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
What a beautiful word picture you paint, Kat!!! A-mazing!!!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Dear niece, thank you so much, and how lovely to have you drop by. I hope all is well in your neck of the world.

Very best wishes

Kat x

deed on 10-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
A lovely poem, Kat. The contrast between how it is and how it was is startling.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, deed, for taking the time with this. Much appreciated.

Kat

orangedream on 10-01-2013
Bavaria Incites
Just off to bed and noticed the nib, Kat. Richly deserved.

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Tina!

Kat x


Waiting (posted on: 10-02-12)
Slightly edited with thanks to e-griff and Romany.

The sun set, as Night Nurse Watson sumo-ed into the ward. The self-locking doors clunked behind her. Folds of flesh blubbered beneath a well-washed white uniform. Peggy knew to swivel in the opposite direction – her bare feet retracing sticky canvas – her bony form visible through the hospital-issue nightgown.      Twenty-seven other patients inhabited the long-corridored Orchard Unit. Some slept in one or other of the two large-bayed bedrooms – tucked in for the night by late shift nurses, incontinence pads in situ. Others roamed with Zimmer-frames, unwilling to give up their independence, struggling with thoughts, trying to remember where their beds were. A few sat stiffly in the day room, fixated to the News at Six which no-one comprehended. Odours permeated and clung – a mixture of macaroni cheese and vegetables from the evening meal, eau de NHS and air freshener.      Peggy sat down heavily in one of the armchairs at the end of the corridor. The strawberry-orange light from outside beamed onto her face and highlighted the carved skin and the downiness on her top lip. She stood up with a wince and a hand on her hip then paced again, sitting occasionally for respite or to nibble at soggy toast she'd rather not eat. Her worn slippers were lost again. She'd had them that morning underneath her right arm as she marched. They would likely be found under the bed of another patient, or in a laundry buggy. She noted the office door had closed behind Nurse Watson.      Nurse Watson embedded herself in an office chair. Two care assistants, flanked her, their mouths in petulant pouts. The three warmed their hands around mugs of tea, listening to the night report with prehistoric expressions. They'd been a team together for years – nothing re-animated them.      As the nurses unzipped their uniforms and deodorized their aching feet, camaraderie was tangible. There had been no accidents and not too many fights between the patients, who were physically fit and waiting: for beds in nursing homes and for their relatives to visit. They couldn't remember that though.      Lucy, the staff nurse in charge, complained about Nurse Watson,      'She's got a nerve. How do you stay so skinny? If she says that to me one more time, I ll bop her one.' Lucy swept strings of red hair from her eyes.      Susan, the care assistant, pulled on her cowgirl boots,      'If she actually moved her arse of an evening, she might get an idea of how it's easy to stay skinny in here. I used to be, when I was on nights. There's always someone up out of bed, a buzzer going, a clang here a crash there, help needed in another ward. I'm convinced she just sits there, gets her minions to do the hard work, with the teapot on standby.'      'It's the way she refers to patients by their surname that bugs me,' added Jill, a staff nurse with twenty years' experience, peering over red-rimmed glasses 'And the way she declares them good or bad, depending upon their incontinence: Wilson – slept well, dry; Mackintosh – restless, but dry; Reid – terrible night, wet three times – no more tea at supper-time for her. Moira has no bladder control – that's why we regularly take her to the toilet. It's why she wears a pad.'      'I can't stand the woman!' said Hazel, the student nurse in an Irish lilt. I've only been here a week, but I haven't seen an iota of evidence she has a caring bone in her… big-boned body! There – I feel better for getting that off my ample chest. Anyone for a pint?'      'Did I hear mention of a night cap?' Mark's voice boomed from outside the men's changing room. Tweedledum and Tweedledee fussed over the tea-trolley while Nurse Watson remained in her office chair. She thought she would review the care plans. It was important for them to be kept in order - updated. She knew how important good records were to management. Her handwriting was neat, immaculate.          Peggy's feet were cold so she paced with purpose. She'd spotted the tea-trolley peeking out from the ward kitchen and bee-lined for it. The trolley was two-tiered. On the top level sat twenty-eight green, plastic teacups – not a soupcon of a saucer. Twenty-eight rich tea biscuits languished on a green plastic plate. The cups were filled with milky tea and one sugar, except two, which had milky tea and saccharine. Only fifteen patients were awake, or would even want tea – but this was ritual. Some patients could have extra tea – those that weren't wetters. On the bottom tier lay a tray of bowls - lids open, awaiting denture deposits. The patients opened their mouths to allow automatic withdrawal, as the care assistants trundled the trolley down the corridor into the day room and through the dormitories - a cuppa given in exchange for falsers.      By the time the late shift nurses bounded out of the changing room, Peggy's teeth sank into the jubilant water that said, Peggy T. The night staff were fastidious – there were four Peggys and it wouldn't do for the bowls to house the wrong dentures.      'Good night, Peggy. See you in the morning,' said Lucy as she followed her colleagues out. Peggy put her free hand over her mouth and mumbled, the other hand clutched her teacup.      'Are you OK?' said Lucy, then shouted, 'I'll catch up with you all at The Canny Woman's!' She placed a hand on Peggy's shoulder and repeated the question. Lucy noticed Peggy's dentures were missing as she mumbled another answer. 'Come on; let's find your dressing gown and slippers.'      The care assistants collected teacups in the fourteen-bedded room where Peggy slept. Lucy's eyes latched to the trolley,      'Are Peggy's teeth in her bowl?'      'Yes, Peggy's usually the first to the trolley,' replied Tweedledum.      'Whose idea is this?' Lucy asked as she helped Peggy into her dressing gown.      'We've always done it this way – saves time,' stated Tweedledee. Lucy retrieved the second of Peggy's slippers from under her neighbour's bed,      'It saves time?' Nurse Watson and Lucy sat in the office.      'I don't see what your problem is. The dentures are thoroughly cleaned, all fresh for the morning. I pride myself on it. Teeth don't go missing and get muddled up like in other wards – it's a good system.' The swivel chair creaked as nurse Watson opined. It struggled to oscillate.      'I'm not criticizing the efficiency of your Steradent factory, Helen. My point is: the ladies should be able to wear their dentures until they go to bed and certainly while they are still enjoying a cup of tea and a biscuit!'      Tweedledum and Tweedledee sensed something was afoot as they rinsed the teacups. They hoped it wouldn't take long – it was time for their tea break.      'I'll just go and get Peggy's chair ready,' said Tweedledee, drying the last cup. She clicked off the corridor fluorescents and flicked on the night-lights. A few patients semi-circled the ten o' clock news. Silhouettes formed outside. Tweedledee erased the twilight with the curtains. In the corner of the day room sat a geriatric chair – high-backed and hard like a seat for a Disney ride. It allowed as much movement, though it had no centrifugal forces – simply a tray at the front which permitted meals and drinks to be served to the person enclosed.      'Here's your chair,' Tweedledee threw the fact at Peggy. Lucy closed the office door. She'd no idea if their conversation had done any good. Helen was 'old-school' – in with the bricks. How long had this been going on? She glanced over to the day room and saw Peggy in the geriatric chair. A firm white pillow propped up each of her arms.      'Peggy's getting some rest,' said Tweedledee, scooting past with a commode-on-wheels.      'What kept you?' asked Jill as Lucy joined the gang in the beer garden.      Several empty crisp packets poked out from a pint glass in the middle of the slatted table, like modern art.      'All shall be revealed – I'll just get myself a Jack and Coke.'      Lucy sat down at the end of the table. 'I'm fuckin' pissed off. I've just had words with Helen... slainte!'          They clinked glasses, some emptier than others so Mark went for more drinks.      'What are we going to do?' said Jill, munching a packet of pickled onion. 'You know how tight Helen is with management.'      'Who's on the early shift?' asked Lucy. 'Right, that's me, Jill, Susan and Hazel. Let's be on the look-out for wet beds and dirty commodes - neglect. The fact Peggy's in that chair every morning is what worries me. I think they keep her there all night. It's illegal restraint.'      'When I was on nights, I would help Peggy to bed then stay and hold her hand for a while,' added Susan, picking her teeth. 'She dropped off in no time.'      'I'm scared of the dark,' said Lucy. 'Imagine having to sleep in a room with thirteen other people – wondering where you, your slippers and your teeth are!' The sun promised another beautiful day. The ward door creaked open. Lucy and Jill's trainers squeaked the length of the corridor to the changing room where Susan and Hazel wrestled with the yellow and blue tunics of their respective uniforms.      'Morning ladies,' chorused Tom and Steve, a staff nurse and care assistant exiting the men's changing room. Twelve legs hiked the corridor to the office. Lucy peered over to the day room and saw Peggy in the geriatric chair. Lucy walked over to reposition Peggy's head pillow. She opened her eyes.      'Morning, Peggy' Lucy said.      'I've been waiting for you,' said Peggy, smiling and revealing gums. 'All night - I've been waiting all night.      'I'm here now…come on, let me help you into bed – I'll sit and hold your hand for a while.' Night Nurse Helen Watson, sumo-ed out of the ward. The self-locking doors clunked behind her. Folds of flesh blubbered beneath a well-washed white uniform.      Peggy slept.
Archived comments for Waiting
e-griff on 10-02-2012
Waiting
To be honest although I read this with interest, I was confused between the numerous characters and locations. I'm thinking there's two nurses on duty one saying 'mine's a pint!' and the movements of peggy - at one point she plonks herself down in a chair - suddenly we realise she is on the move, but the plonking down (for me) had implied a reasonable stay, dunno why, and I had to do a double take to catch up:

Peggy sat down heavily in one of the armchairs at the end of the corridor. The strawberry-orange light from outside beamed onto her face and highlighted the carved skin and the downiness on her top lip. She paced,

It's right that a story like this should be disorganised, with the reader picking the plot out of it. You've done that okay to a large extent, and it partially works (again, for me), except that a few sections are just a bit too disorganised.

Let's see what others think ... ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Hi John

Thanks very much for taking the time with this. I will take a look at the points you and others mention and attend to them toot sweet. It's 8 years old and really reflects my laboured early dabblings, but I feel its got some merit if I can just get it right. Your comments are extremely helpful.

Kat x

orangedream on 10-02-2012
Waiting
You took me me right there, Kat...somewhere I've been many times over the years, and painted a poignant and touching picture.

For me, the story is summed up in one sentence:-

โ€˜Imagine having to sleep in a room with thirteen other people โ€“ wondering where you, your slippers and your teeth are!โ€™

I also found effective the (near) repetition of the first line to end the story:-

"Night Nurse Watson sumo-ed out of the ward".

A nice touch to end a well-told and constructed story, which, for many, will strike a chord.

Tina x




"


Author's Reply:
Dear Tina

Thank you very much for taking the time with this - much appreciated.

Although it's set in the early 90s as such, there are many aspects still relevant today when it comes to health care. A positive and genuinely caring staff attitude is everything, and matters even more when you care for such vulnerable people.

Kat x

Romany on 11-02-2012
Waiting
I have worked in this environment so I can appreciate how accurate some of your observations are and some very serious concerns.

There is some unnecessary punctuation throughout. I notice that after having told us the group have 20 years shared working experience between them, you then go on to tell us (again) that the nurse is of twenty years experience, which also seems unnecessary.

I am not sure you needed to tell us the nurses were female either, as Mark shouting through about did he hear something about a pint is enough to make the point I think.

Didn't get 'jubilant water?'

I also found it a bit of a cliche that the negligent, neglectful and lazy nurse was obese. I know it is entirely possible and is undoubtedly in many instances true, but it reads like a stereotype to me - thin people are just as likely to be lazy (not that this piece is anything to do with size issues, I realise.)

Anyway, if all of this sounds negative I don't mean it to be, just constructive. I enjoyed this and could relate to it. Well observed and highlighting very relevant concerns.

With respect,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany

Thank you very much for reading and commenting and I will attend to your suggestions which are very helpful. It's hard for me to see this one clearly, but I want to make it better and had already edited out 400 words or so before posting, but I see what you mean re unnecessary bits.

The jubilant water was trying to suggest the fizzy Steradent water for the dentures.

Re the 'neglectful' nurse being obese, I didn't mean to come across with a stereotype, more to set up the fact she calls Lucy skinny... something people regularly do to 'thin' people as if it's not as offensive as calling someone fat.

Also, with the Tweedledum and Tweedledee references, I'm trying to make this a bit fable-like in a way, so Nurse Watson is meant to be a caricature, for sure (who's physical presence is very daunting and would be despite her being big). I'll revisit this and take on board your points and it's not really necessary for her to be Sumo-like. :^)

Thanks very much!

Kat x

ruadh on 12-02-2012
Waiting
I didn't pick up anything that's not already been said so suffice to say I found this to be a realistic portrayal of life on a geriatric ward. Good read.

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much, ruadh.

Kat x

Romany on 13-02-2012
Waiting
Hi Kat, to quote you:

"something people regularly do to 'thin' people as if it's not as offensive as calling someone fat"

Absolutely - excellent point and one not very often made I suspect.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Laughing... thanks, Romany. It's been a bug bear of mine for years.

I'm just going in to do a wee edit of some of the points you mention.

Kat x


Our Disabled Lives (posted on: 06-02-12)
Nipped, tucked and snipped with much thanks to ChairmanWow, Leila & e-griff.

We ferret for faults, blemishes convincing ourselves we are imperfect. Hips - too wide, hair - too straight, heart - too easily broken. My colleague with epilepsy, unaware his card deck trumped him was friendly caring unfazed, trying his best to fit in, defending his deficiency with sarcasm and humour. There was the time he had a seizure crawled to the men's room clinging and clawing at dignity. His lack of insight difficult to challenge. That's the problem with short-term memory loss. You felt like a crap-throwing croupier. His future destined to be derailed by you, the powering engine of the workforce locomotive. He knew too the night he went to sleep.     Living with disability is tough. Our disabled lives? Well, they aren't really, are they?
Archived comments for Our Disabled Lives
Bradene on 06-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
A brilliant and poignant piece of writing Kat. A piece that provokes thought and a little shame in the reader. Thanks Valx

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Thank you very much for reading and commenting - much appreciated.

Kat x

Andrea on 06-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
Agree with Val - I so wish all I had to worry about was too wide hips and too straight hair - life would be so much simpler ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Laughing... yes, wouldn't it just. Thank you for dropping by, Andrea.

Kat x

orangedream on 06-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
Hi there, Kat. I can only echo what has already been said. A thought-provoking piece, most certainly.

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, Tina - much appreciated.

Kat x

ChairmanWow on 06-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
Kat, i agree with all said above. i wonder if some of the line breaks might be stronger. The ending with the preposition "of," or a weak verb like "was," and maybe "too" could easily be changed to the line ending in a stronger word. Just a thought.

Ralph

Author's Reply:
Hi Ralph

Thanks for taking the time with this. I'll look at your suggestions as this is a poem I've been a bit unsure about.

Cheers

Kat

Ionicus on 06-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
How very true, Kim.
No matter how badly we might think life treats us there is always somebody who is worse off than we are.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting, Luigi - much appreciated.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 07-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
Yes, we all have our minor problems...the odd scar, crooked finger etc. Personally, I hated going bald, but it's hardly an uncommon occurence. Yet it's all trivial when we compare our petty woes with a real problem, bravely borne. A humbling poem indeed, and one that should put our own grumbles into perspective.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated. This poem reflected a very difficult and sad situation, and I'd always wanted to try and do better justice to it all - written almost 12 years ago now - how time flies.

Kat x

Leila on 07-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
Kat I love this poem the reason for writing it and the execution is well done. I do feel if I may that it could be tighter and with that in mind may I suggest...

We ferret for faults, blemishes
convincing ourselves we are imperfect.
Hips - too wide, hair - too straight,
heart - too easily broken.

My colleague with epilepsy,
unaware his card deck trumped him
was friendly caring unfazed, trying
his best to fit in, defending his deficiency
with sarcasm and humour.

The time he had a seizure
crawled to the men's room
desperately clinging to dignity.
Condition not so well-controlled, not easy to console.

I feel the whole is not flowing as well as it could.
With that in mind I'd be tempted to go through each verse and ask the question is every word here necessary. I think changing the first line allows for the use of the word disability at later times to become more effective and less repetitive. And rather than asking a question at the beginning you make a statement, more powerful in leading the reader into the poem that way. As ever all my personal thoughts which you may disagree with but always offered in the best spirit of poetry. A good well thought out poem congratulations...Leila x



Author's Reply:
Dear Leila

Thank you so much for your very considered response and I will again revisit bearing in mind all your suggestions. I appreciate your input very much with this 'older' poem which certainly reflects my poetic naivety... hehe... but with which I'm trying to get to become a worthwhile poem.

I'm back to the editing board... with pleasure!

Kat x

e-griff on 07-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
I rather agree with Leila's suggestions, except for the beginning of the last verse shown, which doesn't agree grammatically with the thread of the poem.

I also feel that you should be able to convey the key meaning with only those verses, and ditch the long explanations that follow. If the poem is right, it will hit those spots and leave us questioning from an amended last verse. We don't need prompts, we are intelligent. Spark us off - we'll do the ending ourselves. That makes a good poem. (same with prose)

Good thoughts.

JohnG

Author's Reply:
Hi John

Thank you very much for reading and commenting and I will also take on board your valuable suggestions. This is what UKA is brilliant for... !

This is a poem I wanted to make better and knew wasn't up to scratch, but didn't know how to move forward. I'll take a good look at it again with all the input.

Cheers

Kat


Leila on 08-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
A great poem much tighter Kat with the changes...to nit pick ha ha...well what can I say it's what I do though hopefully not in a bad way...but because I admire the poem.
His future was destined to...
I am questioning the word was...
all for now...Leila x


Author's Reply:
I so appreciate your input on this poem, Leila - thank you! I have de-passived the bit you allude to. Isn't it funny/awful how sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees in our own work, and that's very true for me when I look at older stuff sometimes, especially when it's very personal. I'm delighted with how much better this poem is now. Thank you very much.

Kat x

niece on 09-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
"...clinging and clawing at dignity..." as opposed to worrying about widening hips and other such petty things...the contrast was striking, Kat...a good poem

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Niece, thank you very much for that comment - a contrast I hadn't appreciated fully myself as this was a new edit only yesterday. I'm very pleased with all the tips I've had to make this a better poem.

Hope you're well and will be posting again soon.

Kat x

stormwolf on 09-02-2012
Our Disabled Lives
I have read the poem several times now and I have to say that it is much tighter now and extremely thought provoking.
This has been crit of the best effect and the finished product superb! Alison x

Author's Reply:
Dear Alison

How right you are re the crit. I knew the poem wasn't right and had my suspicions where it was wrong, but they weren't in the direction I've been pointed... ! I'm just delighted with the help. It was too personal for me to do proper justice to without the objective input. It's really been invaluable.

Thank you so much for dropping by to tell me it has a stormy seal. :^)

Kat x


The Best Days (posted on: 27-01-12)
~

A young boy vomits before school in the hope of finding favour with his mother who wishes his classmates wouldn't taunt him because of his colour. What should she do? He steps inside the tarmac quadrangle, feels its bounce beneath the summer sun and seeks his friend, a Dr Who fan too. They high five and laugh about their teacher's sweat marks under his arms, ducking heads in mirth and covering mouths with hands. All seems well until the bell tolls and the first fist gnaws his back as the serpent of children enters the building. Another day, another brick in the wall of his stomach. What can he do? Any learning is erased by the fear of lunchtime where there's more time to be a target for the hissing chants of kids with venom for saliva. In bed at night he dreams of Tardis escapes and, exterminates.
Archived comments for The Best Days
Andrea on 27-01-2012
The Best Days
It's a dreadful thing, bullying, and this poem portrays the terror (and revenge) of it excellently. Well done, Kat, another very good sub.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Andrea. This was something I wrote a few years ago but was never quite sure of.

Yes, bullying in all its forms, is awful, and often the more insidious or the mental kind, is the worst.

Kat x

ChairmanWow on 27-01-2012
The Best Days
Fine work with imagery that describes reality for too many kids. Epidemic here of kids getting beat up on buses going to school.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, CW, or should I call you Wow? :^)

I don't think enough is being done about bullying anywhere, unless someone could let me know where this isn't a problem? Somewhere to learn from?

Perhaps we need to look to other species for guidance. I'm not sure what the answer is, and the worse example I can think of are so-called honour killings, which is of course, murder (the end point of bullying, if you like). I'm baffled as to where the honour in honour killings is, a gruesome, likely case presently ongoing in Canada re a family from Afghanistan - I saw a report about this on CNN the other day.

I don't think bullying has to part of human nature necessarily.

Anyway, to all you bullys out there (you know who you are), take this! *blows big raspberry, then laughs evilly*

Karma's coming to get ya!

Cheers, CW!

orangedream on 27-01-2012
The Best Days
My grandson, a few years ago now, was on the receiving end of bullying. One day, he told his dad, who told him to hit the little bxxxxxd back. Next day he did, and got hauled up in front of the headmaster. Sometimes, you can't win;-)

Seriously though, it is quite a problem, and unfortunately becoming almost commonplace. Worrying indeed.

Thanks for posting this. An excellent poem which highlights the stark reality and terror of it all. More than 'well said'.

Tina x


Author's Reply:
Dear Tina

Thank you for reading and commenting and for sharing that. It really is hard to know how best to deal with bullying. Ignoring the bully only goes so far at times, so giving them a taste of their own medicine doesn't seem like the worst idea... but if it backfires, not good.

I wrote this about my nephew who was being bullied in primary school, and the worst part was that teachers and the headmistress knew and appeared to be colluding. Eventually my sister-in-law wrote a stark (in a threatening to take legal action kind of way) letter to the headmistress, and things settled down. The headmistress 'left' the school not so long afterwards. But it went on for far too long beforehand, exacerbating my nephew's eczema to the extent he had to have it bandaged daily as it was bleeding in response to him scratching himself.

Thanks again, Tina. Sending you and your family all my very best wishes.

Kat x

stormwolf on 28-01-2012
The Best Days
A very sad poem which captures the agony of being bullied. You portrayed him well and the reader was left in no doubt that without such torment he was a happy, normal boy. My daughter was bullied in school and it affected her whole life.
I loved the last two lines. The last line especially spoke volumes.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Dear Alison

I appreciate you reading commenting and sharing that very much. And that is the thing, eh? These are our formative years/the best days, but it can affect you for life, as you say.

Wishing you a lovely weekend.

Kat x

Romany on 08-02-2012
The Best Days
Excellent, intuitive angle on a very serious problem.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Romany! Lovely to hear from you. Hope inspiration is being good to you.

Kat x


Blow-up Doll (posted on: 27-01-12)
A wee ditty

You're a parody of womanhood - inflated tits, lips and ass. Pop, pop, pop, today's feminists don't burn bras.
Archived comments for Blow-up Doll
Andrea on 27-01-2012
Blow-up Doll
Hahaha, lovely! I didn't burn my bra either, mainly because I never wore one (I was a feminist, though :))

The penchant for plastic today really is horrible - and sad.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, Andrea - much appreciated.

Beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder, and each to their own and all that, but I kind of prefer the natural look, as opposed to the unnatural... and what's wrong with ageing, I ask myself... haha... we all do it, and together, not in isolation from everyone else. Western society is so ageist and we could learn much from other traditions and cultures.

Here's to growing older and 'uglier' gracefully... !

Kat x


ChairmanWow on 27-01-2012
Blow-up Doll
HA-ha. I guess tire repair kits will be selling briskly.

Author's Reply:
Now there's a thought... hehe.

Thanks for popping in.

Kat :^)

orangedream on 27-01-2012
Blow-up Doll
Kat, you made me smile;-) Thank you. I'm certainly with you, all the way, on this one.

Tina x

Author's Reply:
I'm glad it gave you a smile, Tina. Thank you for taking the time with this.

Kat x

stormwolf on 28-01-2012
Blow-up Doll
That's the way for 'em.
The actual thought of any man using one is enough to give me a dose of the boak! ๐Ÿ˜‰
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Haha, now there's another word I love: boak.

Thanks for reading and commenting, Alison.

Kat x

e-griff on 28-01-2012
Blow-up Doll
I just wonder why your blow-up had THREE breasts

(pop, pop, pop)

on ageism. in some cultures (ie Japan) age is not a put-off - young girls go with old, powerful men willingly (or maybe .......)

I myself am an amazing bastion of manhood, with much success behind me (and in front).

Author's Reply:
Haha... it's always interesting how different people interpret/read things... I meant 3 pops for (collectively) tits, lips and ass, but maybe I should have 6... !

Yes, I know quite a bit about Japanese and other cultures, and it is interesting - the differences. Although I've been brought up in so-called western culture, I've always felt a great respect for older people, and still 'see' my gran (who'll be 90 this year) as she was when I first got to know her.

Beauty and attraction is so much more than appearances, and integrity goes a long way with me.

Your 'success' sounds intriguing within the context of being an amazing bastion of manhood... hehe... and it's all about how one defines success, I guess.

Thanks for dropping by.

Toodlepop

Kat

bowmorebill on 29-01-2012
Blow-up Doll
spot on with this piece.
also in line with to-days topical features on the french fifm
PiP

Author's Reply:
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

Kat


Imperial Lather (posted on: 19-12-11)
~

Putt putt goes brush in shaving soap as the man prepares a good lathering. Warm wet face, faces the mirror though he cannot see. He has been doing it for forty years. Much accomplished by touch and smell or smell and touch and memory. Gaunt face laps up brush strokes, an artist dabbing frothy white, gentle but firm slices – dip and repeat, reprise with blade. Imagining the face that was. Top lip tricky, bits missed under nose so job takes longer. Precision fingers check for stubble like Braille until translucent skin shines in smoothness.     Scummy water whirlpools, segues into clear, cascading from hands to face and sink. Patting dry with an old towel as thin as him, he stares at his perceived reflection and feels like an emperor.
Archived comments for Imperial Lather
deed on 19-12-2011
Imperial Lather
A fascinating poem about a man shaving which immediately brought back a hidden memory of watching my dad shave when I was a child - like the poem a fascinating process for a little boy. I like the dynamic presentation which begins straight away with 'putt putt' This is very well observed - how the face disappears in the soap but he gets it from 'memory' and 'experience.' Very well done.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

Kat

ChairmanWow on 19-12-2011
Imperial Lather
I always have thought shaving was an intimate process and you captured that feeling with your well observed intimate imagery.

Author's Reply:
Thanks very much! Keep posting your great work. I haven't got time to read over the holidays, but I'll be around again in the new year.

Have a good one!

Kat

sunken on 21-12-2011
Imperial Lather
Hello Ms. Kat. This is รผber good, in my tacky book. The part about the top lip being tricky and how he's a tendency to miss bits beneath the nose is so well observed (especially for a girl). I may even shave this morning after reading this. It's a nice feeling to be freshly shaved, I'm just too lazy to do it every day though. An excellent piece. This really deserves a nib. Sadly, you may have to make do with a smelly beagle. Well done. A great write.

s
u
n
k
e
n



Author's Reply:
Thank you, Sunks and Bernard - much appreciated. And who's to say I haven't had practice shaving... hehe.

Hope you're all set for a fun-packed festive season. I'm off to Scotland for a week tomorrow.

Very merrys to you!

Kat x

Ionicus on 21-12-2011
Imperial Lather
Dear Kim, I am a bit late catching up with this poem and apologise for the tardiness.
I don't know if I am misreading it as nobody made the point I'm about to make. It doesn't read to me as an ordinary shaving routine but that of a man who has lost his sight and can only perform that action by touch and memory and who feels proud of his accomplishment.
I think that the title of the piece is also clever whether intentional or not.
A good character sketch.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Yes, Luigi, that was my intention - you are spot on, and thanks for the comments. The title was a bit of a pun... thinking of the soap called this, which I love the smell of.

I'm taking you with me to Scotland tomorrow, ya know... hehe... your poetry collection... ! along with a couple of other books to read at my leisure while I'm away for a week.

Have one with bells on!

Kat x

sunken on 21-12-2011
Imperial Lather
Oo. You could be right, Mr. Luigi. I read it as the mirror was constantly steaming up. Hence leaving the poor fella blind. This happens to me all the time. It's most annoying. I do have a handy tip tho. Smearing your shaving mirror with fairy liquid (other detergents are available) will stop said steaming in it's tracks. It's a bit if a ball ache though I'll grant ya. I hope this has helped. Thank you.

s
u
n
k
e
n

ink blot serenade

Author's Reply:
Sunks, any interpretation is fine with me. Yours is as good as any, and likely, better than most... haha.

Cheers

Kat x

Capricorn on 21-12-2011
Imperial Lather
Hi Kat

I found this to be a fascinating piece and quite thought provoking really. I take it that he has been blind for 40 years and shaving by touch & smell ... and memory. I also couldn't help thinking of the difference between his perceived reflection and what he actually looked like. I'm glad he felt like an emperor.

Great read
Eira

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Eira. Wishing you lots of festive fun and joy.

Kat x

niece on 22-12-2011
Imperial Lather
Beautiful, Kat!!! For a few minutes, I thought it was an ordinary person shaving...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, niece! I hope all is well with you and your family. Wishing you all best wishes for 2012!

Kat x


21st Century Dinosaur (posted on: 09-12-11)
This was written in 2002 and shows how bad I am at rhyme, I know, but feel the 'idea' of the poem has some validity. I was reminded of it owing to the film Tyrannosaur, which has been getting some very good reviews/awards, starring Peter Mullan, who I'm a big fan of. It's meant to be in the voice of a young adult. Any suggestions to make it better would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Married with children not new to this game I'm a fly on the wall witnessing his shame. Regular as clockwork every Thursday, each week she comes home late he can't turn the other cheek. She's only at the club with friends in a group having a laugh, a drink but with this he can't cope. What were you doing? Who were you with? Did anyone chat you up? Tell me, I want the truth! I never hear the answers perhaps there aren't any perhaps that's because the reply is coming anyway. He straddles her body she is lying on the floor with his face in hers You're just a fuckin' whore! My heart is racing this I can't bear crouching in the dark at the top of the stairs. My mother is sobbing my father pathetic ranting and raving behaving tourettic. To protect my mum down the stairs I come through the door I peek feeling utterly sick at the sight of my dad face full of hate gobbing in her face Give me scissors - I'll castrate! Dialling 999 I'll show him this time, I sneak out the door - away - from parents, mine.
Archived comments for 21st Century Dinosaur
ChairmanWow on 09-12-2011
21st Century Dinosaur
Hey, these are really strong images you're working with. To get to a child's POV (depending on the age of kid) I would maybe try not to write in complete sentences, maybe use snappy fragments. Depending on age kid wouldn't know to justify mom, would just react with big emotions about what's happening right now. just suggestions. enjoyed the read.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for taking the time to comment. The child is actually more of a young adult, so I should make that more clear in the intro. Really appreciate your thoughts, and will peruse any others too.

Cheers

Kat

stormwolf on 09-12-2011
21st Century Dinosaur
Hi Kat

Very stark poem. I would have broken it up into 4 lined stanzas to add oomph.
I am not sure how to make it seem like it's from a child's age. The last four lines are awkward to read for me. Depending on the age of the child, I don't know if they would use the word 'castrate'

I also feel that it does not flow as well and due to it being the crunch line, would benefit from some re-arranging.
It makes me angry to read it though as it is the story way too often. These are simply my impressions on reading first time round. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Painful poem though
Alison x


Author's Reply:
Oops - I should know better by now... please see my comment below, Alison. I need stronger reading specs. Wishing you a good weekend!

Kat x

Kat on 09-12-2011
21st Century Dinosaur
Hi Alison, thank you very much for taking the time with this - much appreciated.

I've edited the intro to perhaps give a bit more info, and it's meant to be in the voice of a young adult, so I'll not snip the 'castrate', haha, but I'll definitely take on board what you say about separate stanzas and the last lines.

Yeah, it's a starkie, but felt it was time to air it... I'm cleaning out my closet... ;^)

Thank you!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 10-12-2011
21st Century Dinosaur
Dear Kat, a mixed bag this. The story and the images are very powerful. The execution not so good. Some of the lines are awkward because they are too long and lose the rhythm, i.e. 'the reply is coming anyway.' and 'You're just a fuckin' whore!'.
In my humble opinion the latter would gain more emphasis if it read: 'You, fucking whore!'
The last four lines also need re-writing.
One last observation: the beginning is a bit confusing to me.
'Married with children
not new to this game
Iโ€™m a fly on the wall
witnessing his shame.'
Who is the subject in 'married with children'?
I hope you don't mind my personal views. With a bit of reworking this could be a super poem

Luigi x


Author's Reply:
Dear Luigi, your comments are invaluable, so thank you! And what you say (and Leila) is so helpful, and why I wanted to post this here. I will rework this, with no rhyme, and from the adult POV, as I think Leila has suggested.

Very much appreciated, and I will use the bits you suggest.

Kat x

Leila on 10-12-2011
21st Century Dinosaur
Dear Kat
I think the first step would be to forget the rhyme as I think it stops the full flow of the poem. The beginning is slightly confusing to me too I think the opening lines would be better
Regular as clockwork...
which gets you swiftly into the poem.
Every Thursday implies each week so each week not really needed I think the use of that has more to do with the attempt at rhyme.
A potentially extremely powerful poem is here perhaps looking back on this as an adult and editing it to reflect this might produce the poem you are striving for.
With best thoughts Leila x

Author's Reply:
Leila, and this is why you're such an excellent poet. Thank you for your spot on and very helpful suggestions. I never would have thought of the rewrite, without rhyme, from the adult POV, without you.

Off to the scribbling board!

Kat x


Your World (posted on: 31-10-11)
Edited with thanks to Nomenklatura

I collect you from the garden of the kindergarten and follow your dusty trail to the exit where you turn to shout tschuess! to the teachers. You open and close the gate (several times) before you bounce off to wash your hands - Wasser! Wasser! Seife! distractedly drying them with a paper towel. You climb into your 'chariot', I click you in and present a banana-apple bar then off we go. You point to our landmarks and demonstrate your escalating knowledge of everyday with its daisies, cars, garages, especially garages, bikes, basketball nets: Stop and look! See ya later basketball! and building site with mega-crane, cement mixer lorry and workmen. We turn into our street, sweat threatening to snake down my back as we baste in the sun. You highlight more cars, their colours, more bikes and garages - I repeat, yellow car, blue car, to validate your observations. You ask for water then back-pass it to me with nonchalance, assured I'm there. And when I un-click you outside our apartment and contemplate the four flights up, you zone in on the Ameisen/ants scurrying for food and home-furnishings, while I bump the pram up the stairs and heave the shopping in. Last time! you declare as I hold the entry open and another stone stutters down the concrete steps. You're tired now and want to be carried up, up, up - the eco-bags bite into my shoulder. I traipse torturously, your hands beating a rhythm on my ears. We cross the threshold and you close the apartment door, open, close, open (I close it) then race to your garage and cars. I prepare your lunch and it's only a matter of sitting by your side for half an hour or more as you toy with a fruit pot, refusing the spaghetti. You gargle your milk and I restrain from commenting and reinforcing the negative. Your head dodges as I try to wipe your tacky face and hands then scoop you up and through to River's Room and onto your changing mat for a fresh nappy before Mittagsschlaf. Your world is small, and mine has shrunk too.
Archived comments for Your World
Ionicus on 31-10-2011
Your World
You have painted a real picture of what it's like to be a parent. Even though a distant memory now, I recognise every little detail that you describe, from the curiosity of the child and his thirst for knowledge to his need for reassurance; knowing that you are there for him.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, Luigi. Always much appreciated. I know this is a bit wordy, and I've edited it slightly since first posting. That's one of the things I think UKA is great for: editing work from the screen. The layout here really lends itself to being helpful with that because of the professional layout.

Thanks again.

Kat x

barenib on 31-10-2011
Your World
Kat - what a lovely portrait, very visual and visceral and leading us pleasingly through the story. This really got my mind's eye going - John.

Author's Reply:
Hi John

Thank you very much for taking the time with this. I'll check out some of your poetry in the next couple of days. I've always been a fan.

Kat x

Nomenklatura on 01-11-2011
Your World
A fine poem, I did wonder - since you braved Kindergarten, TschรผรŸ, and Ameisen - why you didn't go for Mittagsschlaf vice Siesta. Life in a German city, flats, childcare and much more. I loved Berlin.

Your last two lines are a knockout ending.

Author's Reply:
Hi there

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on this. Yes, you have a very good point and perhaps I will change that. This of course (unsurprisingly) is a snapshot from my real life, and 'siesta' is the word I/we use... but I may well change that as your suggestion makes more 'sense' and sounds good.

Thank you!

Kat

stormwolf on 01-11-2011
Your World
OMG
This really moved me Kat. It totally encompassed the everyday life of so many mothers but so much more, all in one poem. The tiny details that stand out so vividly to the small one getting used to the world, coupled with the incredibly draining experience of having to be the carer, notwithstanding a very loving devoted one..............still, it drains the energy.
All that was missing was the husband coming home and saying "what have you done all day? " ๐Ÿ˜‰
Loved this. It brought a tear to my eye and was splendidly written too.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Hi Alison

Laughing at your comment (in a good way). Thank you very much for taking the time with this, and thank you for getting it.

It's only recently I've been able to think about writing again after 3 years of stress, stress and more stress - this was the first thing I wrote, being advised to take something from everyday=stressful life, to use for a poem.

I'll check out some of your work in the next few days.

Best wishes

Kat

stormwolf on 01-11-2011
Your World
forgot to say, the last line was genius.

Author's Reply:
x... !

sunken on 02-11-2011
Your World
Hello Ms. Kat. It's good to see you posting regular again. So there's a little Kat on the scene now? A kitten if you will. I suspect he's gonna inspire many a poem. I've no doubt at all that they'll be just as tip top as this one. England is shrinking, by the way. I blame the rain. Well done on the nib and the nom. Commiserations on the Bernard. The hairy little fella has at least been deloused recently. I hope this helps. Thank you.

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Author's Reply:
Hi sunky

Thanks for all your comments, and I love the Bernie! An honour, indeed, from you.

Yes, we have a kitten/lion cub (he's a Leo), and all I'm saying is that I'm glad he's moved onto the thriving threes... !

I hope that life is treating you well, and keep up the great work of supporting everyone so much.

Kat x

Leila on 02-11-2011
Your World
Very nicely done Kat all the small detail most effective and the emotions coming across well down to very fine last lines...Leila

Author's Reply:
Dear Leila

Thank you very much for gracing my poem with your presence. Delighted to hear from you. I must check out your latest work.

Kat x

niece on 04-11-2011
Your World
Lovely, Kat...how our lives change after kids come into it...and loved the last two lines the most...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, niece.

Yes, everyone says how things will never be the same again, and we nod and think, of course they won't, not realising what that really means. Passing through the 'having children' door heralds all the delight, and its polar opposite... ! But that's unconditional love, eh?

Hope all is well with you.

Kat x

teifii on 08-11-2011
Your World
Very interesting in that it is so observant of tiny but relevant points that, although I have never had a small child in my care [only 7 years up] and have never inhabited a highrise, i recognised every step of the way.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting, teifii - much appreciated.

Kat

TeflonTaff on 29-11-2011
Your World
Needs more German......

Author's Reply:
Wirklich? Na ja... mal sehen.

Kat

orangedream on 01-02-2012
Your World
Have just stumbled upon this one, Kat, and I can certainly see why it has received so much attenion and acclaim. It is beautifully written, and it brought back dim and distant, happy memories for me, too. Thank you;-)

I lived for a while in Heidelberg (Zielgelhausen, to be exact) in the early seventies, when my children were three and five. They went to kindergarten, too, but the hill was so steep that we all three had to walk up, it used to make them so tired, they apparently slept for most of the day!

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina

Thank you very much for dusting this one off and for your kind comments.

Heidelberg is very beautiful. We have the Neckar here too in Tuebingen, and a castle, and students! Haha.

River does well to walk to kindergarten and back (up a hill) each day. It's a ten minute walk for adults which takes him at his pace a good half hour. I'm often pushing and pulling him more than anything, but his pretzel helps to energise him, along with the free biscuit he always gets from the bakery ladies.

Thanks again!

Kat x

deepoceanfish2 on 05-11-2012
Your World
You have definitely said it all...captured the entire mother/child experience...the frustration, the tediousness, the bordom, the total loss of self..the love. Beautifully done! I'd have nominated it, if someone hadn't beat me to it. Nice job!

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, Adele. Much appreciated.

I hope this finds you well and happy.

Kat x


We Have a Problem (posted on: 17-10-11)
Would appreciate any feedback - trying to get back into some writing again, and it's been a while since I last posted so was a bit unsure of the formatting for uploading.

We're in McMurdo's, that new bar in Bruntsfield. Me and my so-called best friend.      'I've been thinking, Sara,' she says. 'You shouldn't tell him.' I look into Rachelle's big, beaming eyes. They jostle behind mauve spectacles that she doesn't require. I'd explained my reasons, our reasons, mine and Paul's, as Daryl's parents. I thought she'd listened. I thought she'd heard.      'Surely it's better not to tell a four year old. You'll spoil things.' She astonishes me. I could never have the nerve, the confidence to presume I know best. But, I lament, she's like many people. Rachelle sips her Beaujolais Nouveau, pauses and tweaks her glasses at the bridge of her nose. She re-focuses on the wine, drains it.      I could tell the seasons by her alcohol intake if I had to. Mulled wine in winter; prosecco in spring as she anticipates her annual May trip to Puglia; G&T in summer with a healthy wedge of lemon to ease her into amber fluid time: Oktoberfest, and her love for German beer, in fact, for all things German – she married one. The BN is her Christmas countdown.      Rachelle and Tobi ski in the Bavarian Alps over New Year. And drink lots of Gluehwein. Still relatively young, childless (by desire) they drift as tumbleweed through life - effortlessly (it seems to me). Since meeting Rachelle my life has been punctuated by challenges.      Rachelle conjures a diagram from four beer mats. 'These represent you, Paul and Daryl.'      'And the fourth?'      'The dark secret.'      I feel my face redden, heat up. I want to slap hers. I want to wipe the know-all smugness from it. 'What the fuck is dark about having a child through egg donation?'      'Now, Sara.' It sounds like down Sara! 'I'm only thinking of Daryl's welfare - of his feelings. I am his godmother after all.'      I count the optics behind the bar before I speak. There are fifty-one. Rachelle's eyes blink and dance. Her head tilts to one side like a thrush intent on a juicy worm.      'The counsellor at the hospital advised us to be up front, to be truthful – you know that.'      'Yes, I know all that. But I don't agree... Tobi and I think...' I lunge towards 'the dark secret' and rip it into halves, then into quarters. I leap up, declaring:      'Now there's just the three of us: happy, about to go on holiday, and we'll continue being happy afterwards. You and Tobi can put a couple of ski socks in it!' I fast-exit McMurdo's. The plane touches down at George Bush Intercontinental Airport. It's not that I'm not anxious, worried, beside myself with trepidation. Of course I am. But I didn't need Rachelle's foreboding as well. I had needed her support.      Paul and I had planned this trip to Houston, back to Daryl's embryonic roots, about two years ago. We wanted to be able to do a kind of 'show and tell': here are the nice doctors and nurses that helped bring you into the world; here is the A4 information sheet about your biological mother; here we are, your parents, your flesh and blood (Daryl was O-negative like me) who love you more than we can ever show or tell you.      We're sitting on a bench at Kemah Boardwalk, watching big boats, small boats and huge boats, pass through the canal to and from Galveston Bay. We remember Hurricane Ike. How we had to flee as refugees to San Antonio with you, dear Daryl, a toddler. There were no limits to our desperation in those days. The things we had to do to be able to breathe, to survive, to live. Your father worked all the over-time at Boeing he could, to be able to afford you. That's when he started getting a bald patch. I wrote poems about cockroaches in order to be able to cope with their nocturnal summer scuttling. I'd float in the pool, the only place to be comfortable in the humidity, especially when pregnant – I was a whale. We missed our friends and family, but Houston was our opportunity - a city known for star-reaching.      Your legs dangle as your tongue licks chocolate ice cream from your forearm. You've caught the sun. Pelicans shape a chevron towards the horizon, and I imprint them as one of many tender memories. The funfair bustles with shrieks.      Paul ruffles Daryl's hair and asks, 'Do you like it here?'      'Yes, Daddy - there are more birds.'      'They certainly have different kinds in the Gulf: red cardinals, blue jays, egrets and ibis to name a few.'      'And pelicans,' Daryl says, proudly. 'Brown pelicans and white ones.'      Paul squeezes my hand. He stands up to indicate it's time to move on. 'Glad you're enjoying yourself, wee man. We thought you would.' I imprint this conversation also. I'm worried about the calm before the storm. I know what it can be like in Houston. We're visiting Tammy and Sam, old friends who've invited us for a BBQ. The T-bones sizzle and emanate Texas. I squirt a generous scoosh of mustard on to my plate in anticipation. Their ranch-style home borders Clear Lake and was almost wrecked during the hurricane. Tammy had kept finding bits of Lego from the children's den for months afterwards. There was often an update when we Skyped:      'Buzz Lightyear was lodged in the water hose!' Paul chases Daryl around the palm trees. I take a margarita over to Tammy who's relaxing on a lounger - I make a mean one – practised repeatedly in my imagination during 'the prohibition.' Their kids are at camp. We toast each other and grin as Daryl laughs like he can't stop. I've always wanted to can Daryl's chuckles like priceless caviar.      It's soothing to feel the warm sun on my body and reassuring, like, what can go wrong? Sam's visored head beckons and we weave our way to the grill.      Tears stream down Daryl's cheeks as he chokes on a sausage. He tends to gulp his food and eat too fast. I whack his back, dislodging the offending chunk. I wrap it in a napkin and think of swaddling. I'm transported back to his birth – how dreamlike everything was – to have a child after a ten year wait, which wasn't exactly waiting as we were pro-active, trying. The misery and greyness of failed IVF had cloaked our lives. Our dwindling funds had nearly broken us and how time had stopped, it truly had... and then... to be able to pat your velvety head, to have your teeny hand clutch my pinkie, to breathe in your sweet, sweet smell. You scared me with your hopeful gaze, and you were and are a glorious vision. Your dad passes you a napkin and you scan your face with it. You've still got ketchup on your chin. Face-pod has a lot to answer for. It's not that you didn't accept and comprehend the why and way we had you. You just seemed to need the reality - the reality of your 'mother.' You made it your mission. You were unrelenting. I understood. I knew about purpose. I wasn't offended or marginalised. I'd had you – had you. I'd fantasised about you, spontaneously vertexly delivered you. I'd nurtured you for fifteen years. My days were packed with the rhythms of your existence. Technology was always going to usurp me/us, like it had brought you to us. Your fringe would have framed your lightly-tanned face perfectly when you reclined on the sofa and thumbed the search into your fPod. All you needed were her initials and some of the information from the well-creased sheet, along with the place of 'creation.' You were able to Google-Earth her, zooming in as she drove downtown. You saw how much you looked like her. You cried. Then you sent her a request to become your mother. Rachelle looks that snazzy combination of sporty and stylish on the slopes. She's a tip top skier. Tobi had taught Rachelle all he knew before he left her for her younger sister. Paul had simply left. I was doing the 'we're fab and fit at fifty' friend bit, though my apr่s-ski routine wasn't as young as it used to be.      I'm dipping baguette into a bowl of cock-a-leekie soup and trying to defrost my feet by the open-fire. 'We don't need men, Rachelle. All we need is food.'      'Oh, I know that – I haven't got the patience for them anymore.' She flashed a smile comparable with the glistening landscape of the Cairngorms. Rachelle had proved to be made of granite as I'd cramponed up out of the crevice my life had fallen in to, and she'd never uttered those infamous words... Daryl lives with his mum (Aliysha) and her husband in Florida. Note the lack of inverted commas. I'm the one modelling them now. I wish I could say that Daryl and I are close, that he loves and misses me. But I can't say that. His 'Dad' is an astronaut and is presently en route to Mars. Aliysha is the Events Manager for the Harry Potter Theme Park. What more could a boy want?
Archived comments for We Have a Problem
niece on 17-10-2011
We Have a Problem
Great to see you back and posting, Kat...and loved this piece of fiction...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, niece. I'll be reading some of your work again soon - looking forward to it.

Kat x

Ionicus on 17-10-2011
We Have a Problem
Kat, welcome back! How are you?
I see that you haven't lost your touch. Good piece.

Luigi xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

I'm not bad, all considering... ! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, will return the favour in the next few days. Hope life is treating you and yours well.

Kat x

Nomenklatura on 18-10-2011
We Have a Problem
Nicely constructed, neat referral at the ending to Rachelle's foreshadowing words. I felt that this was a little clunky, a real 'tell-y' bit.

to have a child after a ten year wait, which wasnโ€™t exactly waiting as we were pro-active, trying.

Not sure what to suggest, you could leave it out of course.

to have a child after a ten-year... What? Wait? No, far too passive a word for what we endured.

That's probably no better. ๐Ÿ™‚

A very good story, I liked it for it's craftsmanship and the way it sprawled across 25 (years) with so little effort.

Regards
Ewan

Author's Reply:
Hi Ewan

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and comment. I suspect I've a few clunkers in there still, and I'll have a look at your suggestion. Much appreciated.

Kat

sunken on 18-10-2011
We Have a Problem
Hello Ms. Kat. It's good to see you on Planet Uka again. It's very rare that a piece of 1000+ words keeps my attention. I blame society. This did keep me focussed though. Fpods - It's only a matter of time I'm sure. Very inventive and very well written. I kinda expected nothing else from you. Well done on the nib and nom. To bring you back down to earth I'm slapping a smelly flea-infested, worm-ridden Bernard on ya ๐Ÿ˜‰
Good to see you back.

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Author's Reply:
'I'm slapping a smelly flea-infested, worm-ridden Bernard on ya'

... and how I love it! Thank you, young sunky man. Must trot off to peruse some of your oldies...

Kat x


Thanksgiving (posted on: 08-10-07)
A wee poem for the 'happiness' challenge in the poetry workshop forum. Edited - I couldn't resist adding an extra line. :o)

The white pelican on the post is the icing on today's cake. Mullet spring and skim like silvery stones across the lake. A heron heading home hunches wing-shoulders in the surety of flight with beak-guiding motion. The brown water simmers, caramelising before my eyes - maybe the speedboat will stick to a dark ripple: statued sludge in silent-roar. An osprey hovers, dives and scoops a prize. Ebony cormorants bob and bubble, take flight, bubble. It's like a 3D puzzle – look to the horizon for the constant fishy replay. Spot the Tuscan-style villa atop lime-green slopes – a gateau to dream of. Here, fountains parabola the pool and red, white and blue struts above the palms. I'm writing a poem because today I heard my heart is in the right place.
Archived comments for Thanksgiving
Sunken on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
Hello Ms. Kat. Well done on the nom. I really like the ending. I know I always say that, but it's true, so you'll just have to put up with it (-; Things that make me happy include - spraying aerosol cream over ladies bums, walking down hills and finding a pair of jeans that I'd forgotten about. Oh, and relieving my bladder. I hope this helps. Nice one Kat.

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his commenting classes are not taking off

Author's Reply:
Lovely Sunky, many thanks for your amusing and wonderfully unique comment... people should be taking classes from you! ;o) I think your comments deserve a book of their own.

A nom is always nice - a huge thanks to whoever pressed the knob. :o)

Kat x

Hazy on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
I love that penultimate stanza, it's beautifully vivid!

Seems like a very accomplished poem - keep it in mind for competitions, etc! Not that I'm an expert... but it's got some lovely touches.

Thanks for the challenge, Kat. Well done on the nom.

Hazy x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your very encouraging comments, Hazy - much appreciated. I'm delighted that you've posted a poem and look forward to catching up with it and the others.

Kat x

SugarMama34 on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
Hi Kat,

What a lovely picture you paint with your words. I can't say which part is my favourite because I love it all. A very creative and imaginative piece that I have truely enjoyed reading. Great imagery throughout. It deserves the nomination. Congrats, hun.

Sugar. xx

Author's Reply:
Sugar, thank you for reading and commenting, and I'm looking forward to catching up with all the other poems for the challenge.

Kat x

Slovitt on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
Kat: Lots of things, and lots of sounds, and all operating at the command of your deft hand. 'The white pelican on the post/is the icing on today's cake.'/ '...maybe the speedboat/will stick to a dark ripple: statued sludge in silent roar.'/ And on, 'It's like a 3-D puzzle--look to the horizon/for the constant fishy re-play.'/ Very rich, vivid lines of poetry, and then the simple statement at the end, 'I'm writing a poem because today I heard/my heart is in the right place.'/ I don't think you need the comma after 'heard' in the next-to-last line, and 'beak-guiding' seemed a bit of a strain, but otherwise a very good piece of writing, a satisfying poem, and one that wins the reader with the rightness of your final line. Swep

Author's Reply:
Swep, thank you for a great comment - I love it when you sweep in, and I'll rub that comma out. I know what you mean about 'beak-guiding' but I hope I can get away with it, and I think it kind of fits the real picture of the herons.

Thanks again.

Kat x


e-griff on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
I like the cake theme and subsidiary sweet references. As others have said, this works well.

I particularly liked the resonance of puzzle to the bubbles, which linked the two verses smoothly.

G

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Mr Griff!

Kat :o)

delph_ambi on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
Gorgeous, rich imagery. Thoroughly enjoyed this one.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, delph! Much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Ionicus on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
A classy poem, dear Kat. I particularly like the opening and the closing two lines but the entire piece is a delight.
The only thing that jarred with me was the mullet, which is a marine fish, being mentioned in connection with the lake.
Regardless of whether it is a paradox or a poetic licence, I enjoyed it.

Love, Luigi xx

Author's Reply:
Luigi, thank you for reading and commenting, my friend. And I'll let you into a wee secret - this poem is all true other than the white pelican (it was a brown one). :o)

Clear Lake is packed with life, especially skimming mullet which seem to love the brackish water here. The lake is fed by Galveston Bay which is fed from the Gulf of Mexico, so maybe that's why?

Thankfully, the alligators keep to the creeks (mostly).

Thanks again.

Kat x

Romany on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
This is excellent and what a lovely intro to it too! Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Romany! I missed seeing a poem from you.

Cheers

Kat x

silversun on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
I'm seeing you are rather adept with the old metaphors, Kat. Being particularly fond of alliteration, I appreciated lines three, four and five and then that 'statued sludge in silent-roar'. I must admit to getting a bit lost at the start of the second stanza, but the ending brought me back to familiar ground.
Congratulations on having it nominated to go into the anthology.
James

Author's Reply:
Hi James

Thank you for your very encouraging comments which I really appreciate. I know what you mean about the beginning of the 2nd stanza, but I hoped to get across the fact that you don't necessarily see the mullet jumping (though you hear their plopping noise) unless you really focus, like in those 3-D puzzles which were popular a few years ago, and then, they're everywhere - it's amazing.

I've been enjoying your work, though I haven't had the time to comment much lately. Again, I think the feedback you give to other poets is excellent.

Cheers

Kat :o)


e-griff on 08-10-2007
Thanksgiving
Look, I came back here because I remembered it. It may not be the slickest poem on the block (not my judgement, just a filler) but it is (as I've already said about tryptych600's pome, 100pc poetry - just poetry - no lah de dah, no 'form', no 'allusion' no 'mimicry of great poets', juts poetic expression.

therefore fresh, clean and good.

I never remember if I've awarded one to someone before (it doesn't matter) but here, from me, as those errant nibbers have, once again, dropped off (if only I were in their place) is a rare 'Griffpick' I hope you will accept it.

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Author's Reply:
John, many thanks for the Griff Pick - what can I say? Time to retire? ;o)

I appreciate you coming back in to this one.

Kat x

Jolen on 09-10-2007
Thanksgiving
Dear Kat:
I really enjoyed this visual stroll with you. The whole scene lives for the reader and it resonates with appreciation for ones surroundings, as you say, your heart was in the 'right place'.

I especially enjoyed the the first eight lines and your 'caramelising' was absolutely brilliant. I too got a wee bit lost on the 3-D thing at first, but having seen your explanation, get it now, and how clever!

I'm quite surprised at the lack of nib, but pleased someone nominated this. Congrats, you kicked ass with this one!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you, dear Jolen! Your comments mean a lot, my friend.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 09-10-2007
Thanksgiving
Well, happiness seems very appropriate for this, because you communicate that feeling extremely well - the bird images were spot on too - The Boss is a great birder, so I get carried along. What makes me laugh most is the heron in flight - a cross between a pterodactyl and a cartoon character. Hilarious - how DO they stay up? Very good indeed - great atmosphere.
ps I'm glad your heart's in the right place. It would be messy anywhere else...

Author's Reply:
Roy, many thanks for reading and commenting, and you've made me chuckle about the heron. :o)

It really is an ornithologist's dream here, and at this time of year, more and more different species are arriving for the winter. My favourites are the graceful white egrets which are here all year round, and hang out with cattle, and I had to laugh one day when a fishing boat returned with its catch and a nearby egret hopped up onto the stern and sailed in to the dock, as if it had helped to bring it in!

Thanks again.

Kat x

teifii on 11-10-2007
Thanksgiving
What a lovely description. I must say birds make me pretty happy too. I get herons on my stream although their pickings must be meagre as the ducks probably eat all the frog spawn and there's certainly no fish.
I like the alliteration in your poem.
I did start writing one for your challenge but got the date wrong; thought it was 15th. Must learn to count ๐Ÿ™‚
Daff

Author's Reply:
Daff, lovely to hear from you and apologies for the delay in replying. I hope you are still going to post your poem. Many thanks for your comments.

Kat x

Bradene on 13-10-2007
Thanksgiving
The imagery is superb Kat and the last two lines are perfect, what an example you set to all of us, whoever nominated this certainly got that right. Val x

Author's Reply:
Val, thank you for a very encouraging comment. I'm always delighted to see one from you, my friend. I hope that things are picking up again for you and your family.

Kat x


Forgive Me (posted on: 07-09-07)
Have posted another version underneath the original - with thanks to Swep's very helpful suggestions and prompts.

For being the baby you never wanted, the piggy in the middle of your marriage to my mother. Forgive me for being the one who saw through your paternal illusion. Forgive me the intrusion of daring to call and name you Father. Forgive me for having the nerve to spike your verve-less life with treason. Forgive my latent forgiveness which was stupid of me – the reason? Hope and love. Forgive me, Father, for you have sinned. Forgive Me For being the baby you never wanted, the piggy in the middle of your marriage to my mother. Forgive me for being the one who saw through your paternal illusion. Forgive me the intrusion of daring to call and name you Father. Forgive me for having the nerve to spike your verve-less life with treason. Forgive my latent forgiveness, my loving hopefulness holding my arms out to you - brailling your blindness. Forgive me, Father, for seeing you have sinned.
Archived comments for Forgive Me
e-griff on 07-09-2007
Forgive Me
A nice, rounded poem with a message.

I wonder (he says cheekily) if it would be even more interesting if you kept the subject as a surprise to the end, rather than being so explicit from the start. It may be an old trick, but it's an effective one, and gives a kick at the end.

๐Ÿ™‚ JohnG


Author's Reply:
Hi John

Thank you for reading and commenting - very much appreciated - especially your suggestions. I know what you mean, but it's one of those 'getting it out there' poems, and I'm happy not to be too subtle on this occasion.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

artisus on 07-09-2007
Forgive Me
Forgive me
for being the one who saw
through your paternal illusion.

Good poem Kat xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Nic! Especially for highlighting my favourite bit and one of the reasons why I don't want to leave the 'father factor' a surprise as I think Griffy was suggesting.

Cheers

Kat x

Jolen on 07-09-2007
Forgive Me
A poignant view into reality for many. Concise and clear. I think your ending knocked it out of the ballpark!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Jolen - your comments are very much appreciated - have a great weekend!

Kat x

Slovitt on 07-09-2007
Forgive Me
Kat: You have a lot of emotion on paper here, in your strong poem. I do think that showing 'paternal illusion' would be more effective than saying it, as images usually are. Something like

my mother. Forgive me
for being the one who saw
through your 'patience'
teaching me to ride a bike.

Then, in the next line, would 'presumption' be preferable to 'intrusion'? And moving on down, nearing the end of your 1st stanza, you are talking, and judging, and answering, etc. and perhaps

treason. Forgive
my latent forgiveness,
my loving hopefulness
holding my arms up to you.

Finally, your last two lines don't really follow, though in a poem they don't have to, and the reader gets the point, but 'Forgive me, Father,' makes the point publicly if you say something like 'for recognizing/you have sinned'. That's not the wording, but if the idea interests you, you could work with it. So, we are at the end of your good poem, and all remarks to your attention. Swep

Author's Reply:
Swep, thank you as always for giving my poetry your time and expertise - very much appreciated and I do really like your suggestions and reasoning for them.

I'm going to reflect on your more oblique ways of wording things and I agree with the imagery factor to show more as opposed to tell - it's what I admire most about 'real poets' as I see them and we have many here on UKA - yourself, artisus/Nic and littleditty being a few examples off the top of my head. But, I also think there's a time and place for certain types of poetry/messaging and my style (if I have one) does verge towards the emotionally open type - I try and communicate clearly and don't always like to dress my work in artifice/technique/metaphor - my failing perhaps, but at least I do have insight! :o)

I've written several poems in this vein, I'm sure I'll write more and maybe I'll get to the level of being able to achieve all the things you're suggesting, and what I want to put across, ie: I *do* want emotion in it. One of my favourite poems is 'Daddy' by Sylvia Plath - it does everything and more for me so I think I'll just cite it as the example in future - it's a benchmark I cannot hope to surpass.

You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to kill you.
You died before I had time---
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one gray toe
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters off the beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.
My Polack friend

Says there are a dozen or two.
So I never could tell where you
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine,
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna
Are not very pure or true.
With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You----

Not God but a swastika
So black no sky could squeak through.
Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot
But no less a devil for that, no not
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,
And they stuck me together with glue.
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the screw.
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I'm finally through.
The black telephone's off at the root,
The voices just can't worm through.

If I've killed one man, I've killed two---
The vampire who said he was you
And drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There's a stake in your fat black heart
And the villagersnever liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.
They always knew it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you bastard, I'm through.

Now there blows a poem! :o)

Thanks again, my friend.

Kat x



reckless on 07-09-2007
Forgive Me
It certainly packs a punch. It's a very emotional message, but the way you've handled the writing adds other dimensions as well. I think it's beautiful.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, reckless. Although a personal poem it does indeed have other dimensions too.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Rupe on 07-09-2007
Forgive Me
It does pack a punch. In a way - though I can see the justice of Slovitt's suggestions - the fact that there may be some rough edges is no bad thing here. The roughness emphasises the rawness of the emotional response & the dazed, angry hurt of it. Powerful and direct.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Your comments are very much appreciated, Rupe - thanks for reading.

I haven't been able to take the time to comment on your ongoing novel but all the best with it, and I hope you get as much excellent help and feedback for it as you take the time to give to others.

Kat x

Sunken on 07-09-2007
Forgive Me
Hello Ms. Kat. What can I say that hasn't been said? Hoover? Washing machine? Toaster? There are many things, but none would mean a thing. I think I'm trying to say that I really like this and that it deserves all the above and more (by above I mean the nib and comments, not my list of domestic appliances). Ahem. Thank you.

Rate: More than this.

s
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k
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wake me up b4 u pogo

Author's Reply:
You've cheered me up no end with putting that Wham song in my head (there's a naughty reason for that which I won't divulge here!) ;o)

Thank you for taking the time and for spreading your appliances around - I have found there are always uses for them... never a careless whisker from you!

Have a super duper banana-packed weekend!

I'm off to swim with Shamu the killer whale! :o)

Kat x

Slovitt on 07-09-2007
Forgive Me
Kat: You ARE emotionally open, but one can use imagery in your style and deepen the moments. The things I have to say I mean in the best way. 'Forgive Me' with all of its rawness, is entirely wordplay, and without images to deepen the assertion, the reader does not take to heart the line upon line of talk, doesn't carry your poem with them, no matter how open you feel you've been. I would guess that the standard way that a poem is read on this site, and others, is as if it were disposable. Read with the same attention one gives to prose. You have told us of the disappointments of your relationship with your father, you can deepen what you've said if you offer an image, like, but not necessarily, the example of the bike. Similarly, 'holding my arms out to you', a little girl reaching out to her father for a love that is not forthcoming. A picture is worth x amount of words. I don't think offering authentic images is dressing up your work, but rather providing an entry point for the reader to interact with your poem. Yes, I have been long familiar with 'Daddy', and it is probably Plath's best poem, certainly my favorite of hers, and it is a poem chock full of things, and pictures. So, these remarks to your attention on your good poem. Swep

Author's Reply:
Dear Swep

You are right in all that you say and I have, since reading your comments, made some tiny wee additions to the poem with your very helpful comments and insights in mind - you're a great teacher! I know you mean things in the best way... please keep telling me... and *showing* me with your own poetry. ;o)

Kat x

niece on 09-09-2007
Forgive Me
A very powerful poem, Kat...loved it especially the ending...it's amazing!!!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Dear niece

Thank you! It's always a pleasure to see you've been in for a read and a comment. All the best for your book!

Kat x

woodbine on 09-09-2007
Forgive Me
Dear Kat,
I like your brailling your father's blindness as a much stronger ending. For some reason the poem reminds of the mice who had to bell the cat. This is a kind of belling of your father. I'm sure there is a lot more to come from
you about him.
JohnXX

Author's Reply:
Yes, you're right, John, about there being more to come... a musical and a book at least! ;o) Thank you for letting me know your thoughts about this poem - very much appreciated.

Kat x

Albermund on 09-09-2007
Forgive Me
You're revised version works much better, K, Well written and moving stuff with strong cute ending. cheers Albert ๐Ÿ™‚


Author's Reply:
Albert, your comments are very much appreciated, and thanks for the vote of confidence for the revision - I agree!

Kat :o)

teifii on 12-09-2007
Forgive Me
Yes, I like the revised version better too. I think it's a great poem. 'brailling your blindness' is a brilliant stroke.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Daff! Your comments are much appreciated and your vote of approval for the revision.

Kat x

Bowlie on 13-09-2007
Forgive Me
Hey Kat,

How goes it?

Bek here, Have been enjoying catching up on UKA and reading your poem, my favourite part I think is--->

Forgive me
for having the nerve to spike
your verve-less life with
treason.

also the brailleing bit is very original and interesting, a poem that says a lot, in an authentic, passionate voice.

bek

Author's Reply:
bek, how lovely to see a comment from you again, and I love your new name! :o) Thanks very much for taking the time to read this, and I like the bit you've identified too. I wrote this in the vein of one of your poetry workshop challenges (I think it was yours) along the lines of saying what you'd always wanted to say to someone.

I look forward to seeing your humour, intellect and great poetry around the ol' place again!

Kat x

Abel on 19-09-2007
Forgive Me
I will comment on this in a most unartistic way....this just blows me away. Just love it...says so much in so few words, sums up a lifetime of feeling, of possible insecurity and guilt, and I can so relate.

w

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Ward! I appreciate your comments very much.

Kat x


Grapes (posted on: 31-08-07)
A repost from last year which got lost/deleted. Published in La Fen๊tre 'Spring Clean 2007'. Edited with many thanks to Swep.

How does it feel to be pendulous robust, lush, dangling like miniature testicles at rest, ripening until packed? Then plucked by a nimble picker, tossed into a wicker basket not slashed by a metal arm. You wear your vine leaf almost cockily. Aesthetically the black ones are best, their notes when bottled of blueberry or cherry tell me that they've had it all – the sun, the rain, perhaps a bit of mould.
Archived comments for Grapes
Slovitt on 31-08-2007
Grapes
kat: You have a poem here, with a clean, clear last stanza that repays the reader's trust. That said, I would get rid of the self-conscious parentheticals, and pare a few of the diluting descriptive words. Perhaps

How does it feel to be pendulous,
dangling like minature
testicles, ripening until packed?

Then plucked by a deft picker,
tossed into a wicker basket
not slashed by a metal arm.

You wear your vine leaf
almost cockily. Aesthetically
the black ones are best,
bottled, their notes of blueberry

or cherry, tell me
that they have had it all--
the sun, the rain,
perhaps a bit of mould.

Anyway, to your attention, and a final note to question 'aesthetically', perhaps connosieur, or gourmand, or some food and drink word. Finally, this is a good piece, with a strong last stanza that validates the occasion. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep

Aagh! What to do... I really like your suggestions and feel the poem could benefit from a wee bit of paring and erasing of brackets.

I do like the sounds and rhythm set up in the first stanza so think I'll keep as is. And I can go with most of what you suggest for stanza 2, except I think I'll keep 'nimble' instead of 'deft.' I'll edit a bit as suggested in stanza 3 and keep the final one as is... off to see how that looks! :o)

Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment and to offer your great suggestions.

Kat x

Abel on 31-08-2007
Grapes
I remember this wonderful poem from LaFen, Kim. Love the imagery and longing...fine work indeed.

Wardo

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Wardo! I've ironed it out with Swep's help. I think it's got a wee bit more juice now.

Kat x

Ionicus on 31-08-2007
Grapes
I love the simile in the first verse and the wonderful imagery all throughout. I don't remember off hand the version in La-Fenรชtre but will look it up.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, Luigi! It's just had a wee tweak owing to some of Swep's suggestions, but is pretty much the same poem.

Kat x

Rosco on 31-08-2007
Grapes
I hope this is meant to be humourous. It is very funny, cocky, and extremely well-observed, but then I think Bob Dylan is hilarious. I only mention that because I see you like the Wilburys.

Author's Reply:
Hi Ross,

Yes, humour of the wry and cheeky kind indeed. :o) Thanks very much for reading and commenting - much appreciated. This poem is kind of the odd one out/my 'penis envy' poem in a mini collection I'm submitting for my course which mostly deals with womany things. ;o)

Kat

Sunken on 01-09-2007
Grapes
Hello Ms. Kat. I've been getting that penis envy of late. There was some geezer on big brother last week who had a whopper and no mistake. I'd like a pendulous dick. Did you know though, that said dicks don't get much longer when erect? My little acorn grows into quite an oak... well, sort of. It's what they call a 'grower - not a show-er'. Isn't it great that I can talk openly about my penis here without anyone attempting to censo...

COMMENT TERMINATED DUE TO FILTH.

Bastards!

s
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k
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loosely based on a grievance

Author's Reply:
Talking openly about your acorn is fine with me, Mr Sunky. Good of you to swing by with your Munky nuts!

Toodlepip

Kat :o)

shackleton on 02-09-2007
Grapes
The Kat's on fire again. Blossom Hill soft & fruity Californian Red? Cheers!

Author's Reply:
Aw, you're very kind, Mr Shacksy - thanks for reading and commenting - cheers indeed!

Kat x

Jolen on 05-09-2007
Grapes
I also found this very clever and skillfully done. Fine work, and indeed a 'great read'. As always, an enjoyable experience for the reader!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Jolen, many thanks for reading and commenting - off to reread your latest (which I love) for the umpteenth time, and leave a comment.

Cheers

Kat x


Irradiation (posted on: 27-08-07)
Trying to find a home/poem for a line. ;o) Edited with thanks to delph_ambi and e-griff.

He speed-walks through the double-doors, his face a web of worry. Nurses scurry by in camaraderie, gay repartee, in service to the sick and dying. Their purpose black rain to his brain. His mouth is seared shut with the heat of non-speech: the words he'd never tell his father.
Archived comments for Irradiation
woodbine on 27-08-2007
Irradiation
Dear Kat,
Hope all is well.

You've got a good opening line and a strong closing line. Good lines cannot ride alone but need to touch on something universal and these as see it speak of isolation, fear of illness, and barriers grown up between us and our loved ones. Short and well crafted. I wouldn't change anything. Maybe I might look at "purpose". Is it their purpose to be black rain or just the effect they have on him?

John Xx

Author's Reply:
John, many thanks for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated. Yes, the use of 'purpose' is to emphasise the usefulness and role of the nurses (the effect they have on him, as you say) - their intent in doing their jobs as opposed to him being out on a limb.

I hope all is well with you too, John! I enjoyed your excellent readings at the UKA Live event via YouTube.

Kat x

delph_ambi on 27-08-2007
Irradiation
I think this works very well. I might have run lines 6 and 7 together; likewise the last two lines.

Author's Reply:
delph, thanks very much for reading and commenting. I'll have a look at your suggestions and perhaps make some changes - line breaks etc are so important.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Sunken on 27-08-2007
Irradiation
Hello Ms. Kat, I like this more than spring onions. I love spring onions. I like those potatoes that you can get in a tin too. It seems strange that they should taste better from a tin, but they really do. Has this comment helped in any way Ms. Kat? I hope it has. Nice one. Good day.

Today I am using a system of rating made famous in 1988 by Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock. As both Mr. Base and and the D.J. had but one hit (It takes two) I am somewhat limited as to the rating I can bestow. I apologise for any inconvenience that this might cause and no mistake.

Rate: It takes two, by Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock.

s
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k
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hopelessly devoted to mu mu

Author's Reply:
Hehe, it takes two indeed... a Sunky and a Munky! Many thanks for dropping in on this wee poem. I always love to read your imaginative meanderings which make me smile, so it has definitely helped! Wishing you a banana-filled week with a sprinkling of chopped spring onions!

Kat x

Ionicus on 28-08-2007
Irradiation
Hi kitten. Why waste a good line when you can make into a good poem?
I recognised it right away and must admit that it reads just right in the present context whereas it sort of got lost in our hotchpotch.
I liked the closing lines enormously:

'His mouth is seared shut
with the heat of non-speech โ€“
the words heโ€™d never tell his father.'

Love, Luigi x


Author's Reply:
Thanks, Luigi! I was determined to try and do something with that line. :o)

Cheers

Kat x

artisus on 28-08-2007
Irradiation
very good Kat, cheers x

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Nic! Much appreciated.

Kat x

niece on 29-08-2007
Irradiation
Hi Kat,

A good poem!!!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much, niece! Best wishes to you.

Kat x

shackleton on 29-08-2007
Irradiation
The Kat's on fire! Smokey poetry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Shacksy

Thank you - you're very kind! I've just been back in a-tweaking though - not sure if I've hammered it into or out of shape. :o)

Kat x

littleditty on 30-08-2007
Irradiation
Dear Kat -i must confess to being a wee bit baffled by this poem, and have come back to it several times, always feeling that i don't get all the picture, ot that the picture forms and then leave me wondering with wrinkles in my brow -now -this is not always a bad thing for a poem to do, but i think i felt a bit thick - l even called out for help, she hasn't answered, so i thought i would tell you that the puzzling was perhaps with the seriousness of Irradiation as a topic, and the Camp Carry On esque Doctors and Nurses picture that came to mind too - sickness, the not telling the father; the word 'gay' may all have been a booby trap trail, but if i dont write this comment, i'm only going to come back to this over and over, and my wrinkles will become furrows! Enjoyed, in a rubics cube kind of way - xxxdittydoolally x

Author's Reply:
No way are you doolally ditty! And thanks for sharing your confusion with me - no worries about that - I haven't felt totally happy with this poem and I think having read griffy's comment as well, he may have solved what needs tweaking (as is his skill!). :o)

The title should hopefully give a two-fold meaning/hint: the fact that the subject's father had died of cancer - the fact that he was too late to say what he'd always wanted to say - his realisation and gloom at this contrasting starkly with the nurses' good-natured banter and their 'usefulness', throwing their light on and shining upon/emphasising his despair and feelings of having been useless/ineffectual in helping his father. I envisage the nurses as being on their way to duty or to a much needed break, and laughter and humour between colleagues is a mainstay of coping in stressful jobs such as these - not meant to be Carry On-esque, just meant to show the dichotomy of jolly versus sad. Trying to capture how other people's mirth emphasises our own bleakness at times, thus, 'like black rain to his brain' and continuing the metaphor from the title. 'Gay repartee' was meant in all its gay repartee-ness! I love the expression.

I hope that helps to link up a few of the squares on the cube? But I could never do them, so maybe not! :o)

Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, ld!

Kat x

e-griff on 30-08-2007
Irradiation
I was going to comment on this a day or so ago, but as everyone seemed happy, I decided I was being overpicky that day and desisted. However, reading littleditty's comments, I have to agree. I DID understand the poem fully, though, and it is very good. However, the words 'cameraderie' and 'gay' don't sit right with me. Both words imply genuine jollity (and the current meaning of 'gay' is a distraction) , whereas here there is a flavour of false gaiety, conspiracy. I'd think of something like (but not exactly ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Nurses scurry past in sly fellowship,
light banter pointed at
the sick and dying

perhaps this is too strong, but I think we need some recognition of his feelings.

I've forgotten what the original line was , but I'd take 'like' out of 'their purpose black rain to his brain' - for me the 'like' clonks it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ (an optional comma after purpose if you wish)

Nice images, deep feeling. certainly a whole different poem from most attempts. best johnG

Author's Reply:
John, many thanks for your helpful comments and suggestions and please don't be shy to make them - I always find you have very valid points to make.

I'm happy with the words 'camaraderie' and 'gay repartee' - they are meant to show a genuine jolliness and not anything sinister or false - innocent words in their meaning and the 'straight' version of gay repartee! Which I see no problem with using as many words can mean/hint at different things especially in poetry and I wouldn't really have thought it could be misconstrued here.

The line you suggest an edit for hasn't changed, I just emboldened it! :o) Your idea to delete the 'like' is great - it was clonking to me too - I'll re-check this out.

Thanks a lot!

Kat :o)


Futility (posted on: 24-08-07)
For e-griff's poetry challenge: to rewrite the collaborative poem, 'Untitled', in our own styles, as posted on Fri 17th Aug by Romany. I've now posted a second version prompted by Elfstone's comments that the layout could be different - not sure if this improves it - trial and error poetry from me, I'm afraid, but perhaps moves it more to making it my own poem as opposed to trying to maintain the essence of the original collaboration. ;o)

Time measures everything, leaves its mark in change, as sure as Foucault's pendulum – certain. He wants to sway the ticking - rocket to the white room prostrate himself before the hope of doubt, kiss the Old Man's stockinged feet, curl his arms around the hourglass moment and scream, Stop! Listen! Show mercy on us! Futility Time measures everything, leaves its mark in change, as sure as Foucault's pendulum – certain. He wants to sway the ticking – rocket to the white room prostrate himself before the hope of doubt, kiss the Old Man's stockinged feet, curl his arms around the hourglass moment, and scream.
Archived comments for Futility
delph_ambi on 24-08-2007
Futility
Excellent poem. Retains the essence of the original, but takes it much, much further, with some great imagery. Works for me.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, delphi. Cheers for taking the time to read and comment. Have a great weekend!

Kat :o)

Sunken on 24-08-2007
Futility
Hello Ms. Kat. All this talk of time is making my head tick. I hope that you're happy with yourself and no mistake. It's good to see you around uka again. You are one of the few cats that I actually like. I still say that dogs are better. Nice poem. It works for me too.

Today I am using a system of rating previously made famous by 70โ€™s disco diva Donna Summer of โ€™I feel loveโ€™ fame. Ms. Summer now manages a small, but highly successful, toy store in Outer Mongolia. Noting the need for a more accurate way of rating the items found on sale in said store has led to the following internationally recognised system of appraisal.

Rate: Ker-plunk

s
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k
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his hopes were dashed like morse code

Author's Reply:
Woohoo! I've been Ker-plunked by a Munky! I think you've made my weekend, Mr Sunks! Delighted to read your comments which are always Booker-worthy in themselves. :o)

Yes, I was wondering how all the other UKAers are doing with all this talking of ticking and tocking - I'm in a high state of alarm with it myself. ;o)

Love your sign off - an excellent mini-munky-nut!

Thanks for swinging by - have a grrrreat weekend! (whatever happened to Tony the Tiger?)

Kat x


Ionicus on 24-08-2007
Futility
I like it Kat. Well written and the reference to Foucault's pendulum is a good one. Although it retains the concept of Time I would question whether it answers John's brief to the letter but it doesn't really matter. Quality is quality.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Luigi! How could you do that to me? I fear I'm going to be stuck with an image of John's briefs for the rest of the weekend! ;o)

Thank you very much for reading and commenting, my friend - much appreciated.

Have a great one!

Kat x

Elfstone on 24-08-2007
Futility
Kat - another fascinating take on the original! I would lay the lines out differently, but then you know that's one of the bees in my bonnet. :-))
There is one part of this which left me confused: the line "rocket to the white room" ; if that's a reference to something it's lost on me - sorry. Elf(dense)stone

Author's Reply:
Hi Elf

Thank you for reading and commenting, and I'd love to see your suggested layout! Please feel free to pop it up here for my perusal. :o)

'rocket to the white room' (for me) is a pun on rocket to the moon, and my idea of the place where Old Man Time may reside... artistic license?

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

e-griff on 24-08-2007
Futility
Very nice and a good original take. And I'm sure my brief was wide and elastic enough to accommodate this one comfortably ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
lol... thanks, John!

Kat x

shackleton on 24-08-2007
Futility
Ah, Kat... if I only had time. Good poetry, Kiddo.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Mr Shacks! I love it when you drop in.

Kat x

Perrorist on 25-08-2007
Futility
The second version works for me because it place emphasis where I might not have seen it.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Perry! That's very useful to know.

Kat :o)

Elfstone on 28-08-2007
Futility
Sorry for the delay, Kat - I've had a hectic weekend taking pupils to the rugby international - fun, but shattering!!

Here's the version I came up with, I hope it might be of some use just to see another take on it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Time measures
everything,
leaves its mark in
change as sure as
Foucaultโ€™s pendulum โ€“
certain.

He wants to sway the ticking -
rocket to the white room;
prostrate himself before
the hope of doubt,
kiss the Old Manโ€™s
stockinged feet,
curl his arms around
the hourglass moment
and scream,
Stop!
Listen!
Show mercy on us!

Elf.

Author's Reply:
Elf, many thanks for coming back to this and I really like your suggestions. I'm going to have a good look at the three versions and come up with a definitive one, or two! Yours could well be in the lead! Much appreciated.

Kat x

Jolen on 29-08-2007
Futility
Hi Kat:
You have ALL done such great work and inventive takes on the original piece. I liked your version very much, as it does take it a bit farther and brings some very real images to the forefront. Well done, IMO.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Jolen! I appreciate very much your reading and commenting.

Kat x

Rosco on 31-08-2007
Futility
As much as I love references which resonate, is a poem as delicate and beautiful as this in need of reference to a French intellectual i.e. "as sure as its pendulum" with pronoun reference to time rather than Foucault breaks my heart a little more. You may have a very serious intellectual reason for this inclusion which supercedes such sentimental considerations.

Author's Reply:
'You may have a very serious intellectual resaon for this inclusion...' Yes, that's it! ;o)

I'm keen to keep the reference to Foucault as I'm fascinated by the workings of his pendulums... there's one in the Natural Science Museum in Houston.

Thanks very much for reading and commenting, Ross.

Kat :o)


The Rhythm Method (posted on: 30-07-07)
An older poem, and also a new version prompted by Rupe's very helpful comments.

It began as a single note, rhythm I read about it once, fascinating, the word and its melodies. That note has since repeated itself like drip ping wat er creating a stalactite in my memory, I sense I am on to something. Rhythm, beginning as a single note. I think I have an understanding of its beat, nature man nurture woman trying to dance in harmony to each other's tunes. And then there are all those other life forces jostling for position in the scheme of things - can this ever be music? Rhythm rhythm rhythm I note there is a beat. It makes me want to dance, elevating to another plane, tuning in to each other's blues heals our hearts. This universal life force of pleasure its repercussions can be felt by even the tone deaf. Why do we always prematurely withdraw? Would the harmony be too discordant? The Rhythm Method Remix I hear a beat, a rhythm, listen to the soft edges of the metronome, its vibrations' outer tone, the cloned repetition like the silty drip from a stalactite impressing me, with sound knowledge, and now there's a rhythmic beat tympanic, needing all ears and hands to tap into masculine nature and feminine nurture, to re-compose the lyrics and bang bang muse them into a homogenous score. The melody has a rhythm, hard to beat impossible to isolate and I want to dance without ees touching your blues healing our songs - WE ARE PERCUSSION! for the deaf. Oh why, do we prematurely withdraw? Would the harmony be too perfect?
Archived comments for The Rhythm Method
e-griff on 30-07-2007
The Rhythm Method
Ahah! you know, I generally avoid poems laid out in a queer way. But i read this earlier in its unlaidout form, and now in its centred form, and it works very well indeed. The stalactite, the feeling of dynamic movement from a static shape, and the (possible) apposite meaning related to the position on what might be regarded as a human body shape. Was all of this intended? maybe not. still, it shows interest on my part, and enjoyment of the your wee pome. ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Cheers for commenting, John - much appreciated. I'm glad I managed to get it displayed in its original form, though a human body shape etc wasn't intentional, but whatever people see and get from this (if anything) is good with me.

This is a very early poem (2002) and in all fairness is not the type of thing I would write anymore... it's a bit (a lot?) cringeworthy for this author, but it seemed to have some merit as had a degree of success, and although I think it's not really very well written, I'm pleased that I think it did capture the essence of what I was trying to get at.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

shackleton on 30-07-2007
The Rhythm Method
I know this poem from way back when. I like your update and always see your layout as the heartbeat of life. Oh yes!

Author's Reply:
'The heartbeat of life' = that's great, Shacks, and... I wish! :o) Many thanks for dropping by to comment, and thank you for displaying this on your wonderful website for a while. And thanks again for a Great Read!!!! with your avian hybrid story (excellent title).

Kat x

Rupe on 31-07-2007
The Rhythm Method
I liked it, and also felt you were Onto Something. I also felt that it could be even better. It's about sex, sure - and the sexes - but also (I thought) something about the interplay between the world of the conscious and the world of the unconscious.

As such, itt works best, I think, where the images are concrete - the dripping water creating a stalactite was my favourite bit & the interesting layout of that part (ee cummings-like) worked well. What we want is glimpses into what you're unfolding for us.

Sometimes I felt you were reaching too much for an all-encapsulating generalisation ('those other life forces jostling for position in the scheme of things' & 'This universal life force of pleasure') that felt like telling and falls a little flat. Because the point about what you're talking about here is that it can't be told or explained, but only experienced - so what we need is more images to latch onto, and less explanation.

I could be wrong, however...

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Rupe, thanks for your great comment which is very helpful, and I agree with what you highlight as the bits that make this weak (the telly and generalised bits), and you've inspired me with your thoughts and suggestions to rewrite this - a 2007 version, as this is a few years old.

I'll still leave this version as is, but see if I can recapture the impetus for it, which was trying to look at 'rhythm', simply (or not so simply), and yes, a kind of 'collective unconscious' thingymajigger. :o) I'd read a great article about it and thought wow, then lost it, and tried to put what I remembered into a poem.

Cheers!

Kat x


Sunken on 31-07-2007
The Rhythm Method
Hello Ms. Kat on a hot tin roof, though to be quite frank there has been very little heat this summer and no mistake. Still, there's always someone worse off, and at the moment that someone is a bloke across the road who appears to be stuck up a telephone pole. I just hope he doesn't mess my internet connection up. I might just wave back for a laugh. Stupid bugger. Oh, the poem. I do prefer the remix. Both good, in my munky opinion, but the remix seemed to flow better, for me at least. Thanks for your words regarding Munky btw. It's good to know that he's read. Take care Ms. Kitty Kat.

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look, I had nothing to do with that stain!

Author's Reply:
Cheers for reading and making a fine and very munky comment - much appreciated. :o)

Well, if you don't post something soon, Mr S, I may have to lead a revolt-ing conga-line to your door. ;o)

Have a grape day!

Kat x

orangedream on 31-07-2007
The Rhythm Method
Hi there Kat. I too prefer the remix version and I do love the way you have set it out. I really enjoyed it and agree with shackleton about the 'heartbeat of life'.

:-)Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Tina. I do prefer it too, and it's with great thanks to Rupe for making me kick myself up the jacksie (not easy you know!) ;o) and try and make the poem less wishy-washy and blah-blah so what? ;o) Perhaps I should keep the centred layout too then - I really appreciate your comment.

Kat x

Leila on 31-07-2007
The Rhythm Method
Kat I think your remix version is excellent, it really made me sit up and take notice. I think in this case the centred layout works very well too and adds to the read, the first two verses perhaps the strongest and a good ending too. Very much enjoyed...L

Author's Reply:
Leila, it's great to hear from you and thank you very much for reading this and commenting. I've decided now to leave this remix version centred as well. It would be lovely to see you posting again too - I'd love that.

Kat x

littleditty on 31-07-2007
The Rhythm Method
Hi Katatronica -the remix is a hit - the original had me dancing though -i liked it a lot, it had the story and charm, like an old pressed single - the last two lines are wonderful! So good to read your work again - keep posting please Kat xxldx

Author's Reply:
ld... ahem... it has been noted that you seem very happy of late... not that you were miserable before, oh no... :o) I'm enjoying reading all your jolly dittycomments dotted around the ol' place - is this what happens when a gal buys shoes with strawberries on them? ;o)

Thank you very much, dittyharmonica! Always a delight to get a comment from you. *grinning*

Kat x

niece on 02-08-2007
The Rhythm Method
Kat,

Enjoyed both the versions...!!!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thanks, niece! I always appreciate you popping in for a read. Hope all's well with you.

Kat x

Rupe on 02-08-2007
The Rhythm Method
I like what you've done to it. It flows better without the generalisations & has more integrity, since the reader experiences it without being interrupted by explanations. It's edging towards that Kubla Khan territory - pointing to the essential thinginess of life...

Sometimes it's better not to try to explain.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment again, Rupe - much appreciated. The thinginess of life... yes, that indeed. :o)

Over explanation was definitely a trait of my earlier work and I hope I've improved a bit from that point of view. The skilled subtlety of many poets (we've some goodies on UKA) is something I admire.

Cheers

Kat

Abel on 06-08-2007
The Rhythm Method
Love this one, Kat. I do prefer the last version, but both are great. Well done!

Ward

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Ward! Appreciate you dropping by.

Kat x

Jolen on 10-08-2007
The Rhythm Method
They are both wonderful. I too like the remix best, but the whole thing is a brilliant premise and you controlled it well. I really enjoy the musicality it presents the reader, which is exactly the point.

Fine crafting, Kat!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Cheers for reading and commenting, Jolen - very much appreciated. Have a great weekend!

Kat :o)


I'm Sorry, He Says (posted on: 27-07-07)
Indebted to Swep - thank you!

It won't happen again… and his tears merge with nasal mucous – a snotty bubble that raspberries and tugs maternal instincts. But mothering doesn't help him, or you. He's scar-free of guilt at beating your eyes blue, punching until you black out, pinching your nipples until spit slavers over his chin. He lies in a heap at your bare feet. Your scored hand dabs red, and as you reach for his shivering shoulders he leaps, back to business, kick-starting your heart with a size seven which fits perfectly… I'm sorry, he says.
Archived comments for I'm Sorry, He Says
Slovitt on 27-07-2007
Im Sorry, He Says
Kat: You've caught an essence here, nailed the emotion and the dual dilemna. Perhaps in the second line 'and his tears merge', to personalize 'him' and to substitute 'merge' for 'cohabit', which reads awkwardly. Perhaps, in the second stanza, something like

But mothering
doesn't help him, or you.
He's scar-free of guilt
at beating your eyes blue,
punching until you black
out, pinching your nipples
until spit slavers over
his chin.

In the third stanza perhaps a comma after 'red', 'then' instead of 'and' to start the fourth line, remove the dash after 'shoulders', and let it flow until a comma after 'leaps'.
Fourth stanza perhaps a comma after 'business', and then 'kick-starting your heart'. Hopefully some of this will be of use. Swep

Author's Reply:
Swep, thank you so much for all your very helpful and very sensible (poetic) suggestions. I think I'm going to go with all of them. Hugely grateful - have a super weekend!

Kat x

e-griff on 27-07-2007
Im Sorry, He Says
I read this in original and now in edited form, because I decided to digest it a bit before forming an opinion and come back. I agree swep's suggestions improve it, but I think the essence of the poem is untouched, and that's the powerful part for me. Often it is easy to get reactions with a subject like this, and it's also easy to overshock. But for me this was subtly creeping up on the reader, and took a while to hit home. Well done, IMO. JohnG ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks, John. Swep's suggestions were just perfect and it's wonderful what a good pair of critting eyes can do when something is freshly written and needs the time to fall into place. That's what I like about posting here - the many helpful comments. It's often the wee things that make a big difference that it can be hard to see for yourself sometimes.

Kat

orangedream on 27-07-2007
Im Sorry, He Says
Kat, I guess this was aimed 'below the belt' and as far as I am concerned, it was right on target.

As John says, it takes a while for it to hit home and then when it does ... wham!

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Tina. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment, my friend.

Kat x

Sunken on 29-07-2007
Im Sorry, He Says
Hello Ms. Kat of flap fame. You know, you never disappoint. Could you perhaps try to disappoint me some time? I am beginning to feel small in your presence. I already have size issues. Please think on and no mistake!

s
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digitally rendered for her pleasure

Author's Reply:
Now how can UKA's favourite munky feel small? :o) You fit the screen perfectly, ya know, in fact not quite perfectly as you haven't treated us to a rendering of late... not even so much as a munky nut. What about even posting some of your Uncle Munky shenanigans to the main site, to let folks see what they're missing if they haven't been keeping up with his heroics?

Thanks for dropping in and making me smile, as per.

Kat x

shackleton on 29-07-2007
Im Sorry, He Says
You're very good at tackling such issues, Kat... and as usual, you've moved me deeply. Take care now.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Mr S. It's always great to get a comment from you - very much appreciated.

Kat x


Tangled (posted on: 23-07-07)
a snippet

It is with fear that I enter the hairdressing salon though my eager smile belies it. I try to lean back into the squishy chair, drop my shoulders and let my hands flop on my lap with no ring twiddling. But I know that startled glint in my eye as the color specialist slaps the wrong shade of brown on to my greying roots. Better luck next time… if there is one.      The color specialist is from Chicago and has been a year in the Houston area - moved with her husband to be nearer his family. She seems nice. She seems a bit sad. Me? Oh, I'm only three months here, still getting to know the place and meet people. Yes, it can be hard uprooting yourself but we're settling into things now.      She sets the timer and leaves me with a tumbler of water and a weight of magazines where I find the perfect bob in Bumble and Bumble. I victory-scrunch my nose at the reflected Halloween ghoul – black cape, dark splattered dye banding my face, a halo of dry frizzy hair surrounding it.      It's awesome! The stylist diagonally opposite tells the story of her new red microwave from Target which matches her totally red kitchen. Her husband had just surprised her with it and a bunch of yellow flowers he'd left in her car. It's freakin' awesome! I flick through Glamour and think how much I hate those two words and how it's weird people choose to share so many of their intimate details when getting their hair done. I was no different. No, we met in Edinburgh, in an Irish bar – he was on holiday with his mates – it's been twelve years.      A voice attaches to the flip-flopped feet from under the large dual-sided mirror:      DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH IT. I NEED A COMPLETE CHANGE. JUST GO EASY ON THE BLOND HIGHLIGHTS. YES, MY DAUGHTER'S BEING BAPTISED TOMORROW. SHE'S SEVEN. IN LOUISIANA - AT MY FATHER'S CHURCH. WE'RE LEAVING AT FIVE-THIRTY IN THE MORNING. MY MOM'S GOT CANCER. THROAT. I DON'T FOLLOW ANY RELIGION MYSELF ANYMORE.      Where's Kerry? She should be here by now. Maybe she stopped at a green light again. Did ya'll hear about that? She's freakin' dumb. Got a court summons for stopping at a green light… ha-ha.      HE'S LIVING WITH HER NOW. YEAH, AND HE'S GONNA BE A DAD AGAIN.      The water splashes around my face. It's a bit hot. That's better. Long manicured nails skit across my scalp – fingertips massage and I drift off... I'm very relaxed as the color specialist/stylist turbans my head.      Ouch… oh, am sorry. I know there'll be another couple ouches before she flips the hairdryer switch to cooler, then cool. It's OK. I must be ultra-heat-sensitive. Because this always happens.      I DON'T DRINK AS MUCH AS I USED TO.      Freakin' dumb ass.      I swivel in the chair and check out the back of my hair with the hand held mirror. It's definitely the wrong shade of brown, but the grey's gone. The bob's there. It's great – thanks! I might go back.     
Archived comments for Tangled
littleditty on 23-07-2007
Tangled
enjoyable Kat -still smiling - i have a few haircut poems...i like this snippet - it did however bring back memories of having my head shaved in various places around the world - can be lovely, and full of insights and locality, like your piece, or, it can be like Montreal i was literally scalped, in silence - a disappointing lack of stories except the one of a very sore head - went back to show her what she had done to me, so she didnt do it to anyone else -she looked so horrified - i think she thought i was going to sue! You may have inspired me to write about getting my head shaved in Rio -now THAT was something altogether different - full of juicy titbits and snippets...! Hope you are fine Kat, i like the voices in this - i hope you're liking them too, and that the Texan hospitality and warmth is all that they say it is. xxxldx

Author's Reply:
ld, great to hear from you and I'd love to read one of your juicy pieces of flash... a head shaving in Rio? I hope it didn't go all thong!

Yes, it's very interesting being here and we are meeting some great people and wildlife. :o)

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 24-07-2007
Tangled
Yes, a snippet - but a highly entertaining one. Very realistic, I'm sure - well, I imagine, as I don't spend much time in such places. In fact, I've not been to the barber's for decades, and then it was only to buy "something for the weekend". No, I fib - I was too timid. A real slice of life that could and should be filmed - that's how I see it, anyway. Well done!

Author's Reply:
Cheers, Roy. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat :o)

Ginger on 25-07-2007
Tangled
Very vivid, and so true. I could picture the scene and the people. Took me back to my years living in America. And haven't we all had a shitty haircut. Been a while for me - my hair is very long and just needs a trim to keep it from reaching the waist.

Excellent piece.
Lisa

Author's Reply:
Lisa, many thanks! And you've got the hair I've always wanted.

Kat x

expat on 28-07-2007
Tangled
This is a 'voice' I haven't seen before re the interesting use of bold, italicised and capitalized dialogue as opposed to conventional tagging. Liked the use of snippet in relation to (hairdressing) 'snippit'.
Is it going further?
:^-)
Steve

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, Steve. It was just a wee experiment really to use the different fonts to bring out the different strands/snippets (to untangle them?) of conversation heard - I have different lower case fonts on the word doc, but to post here was restricted to italics, bold or capitals to differentiate.

Kat



Moon Bound (posted on: 20-07-07)
Edited a tad - thanks to Romany and e-griff.

A lunar spotlight hits the tip of the wing as I fly to you. Soon you'll be dust and I grasp this chance to reflect how your life beamed on mine. Your mystery breathes in my dark skin. My draw to Africa's spice is thanks to your grand-motherly ways. There was always space in your floral apron pocket. This trip had to come like a cratered surface waiting for contact. This flight launches me on the trajectory because the white teddy with blue eyes you gave me as a baby had the stuffing knocked out in the washing machine – seams gnawed by time's teeth. So now I'll treasure even more the Christening gown, yours yellowed like the pineapple snow you whisked up with condensed milk. There's also the silver charm bracelet I got aged ten, with the map of Oz and ten-shilling note trinket (I broke open the pound one). And I haven't forgotten granddad Tom who called me Tim and the cat, Kim. And I remember when you were stuck on my futon – I had to use nursing ingenuity to 'move and handle' you. You were an era. You are an emblem of the past like lily-of-the-valley and all the questions never asked.
Archived comments for Moon Bound
littleditty on 20-07-2007
Moon Bound
Dear Kat - i am really touched by this poem of yours which means right now i couldn't make a suggestion if i tried - this reminds me so much of my Grandmother, Lily. V2 especially...The last verse is excellent poetry, as are the first two, and the personal memories of the middle stanzas flesh out the poem well

You were an era.
You are an emblem of the past
like lily-of-the-valley and
all the questions I never asked.

i'll read again later, the futon verse has me all emotional! It will perhaps be difficult to suggest any changes to this one - it's lovely ๐Ÿ™‚ xx







Author's Reply:
Thank you, ld. Your comments are great and reassuring and I'm really glad that you can relate to this a bit too. I guess my fear was that it came across as being too sentimental and too personal and perhaps didn't have any technique within that. I really appreciate you reading it.

Loved the pic of your strawberry shoes you posted on your h/p for Sunky!

Kat x

delph_ambi on 20-07-2007
Moon Bound
Lovely imagery. A beautiful poem. The authenticity of the memories shines through.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Delph. Yes, the memories are authentic and I'm glad that came across OK. Thanks for reading.

Kat

Romany on 20-07-2007
Moon Bound
I think this is lovely too. The only constructive criticism I feel able to offer at the moment is to do away with the brackets, which seem to me to make that line, and verse, clumsy. Why not just 'grand-motherly ways?'

With respect,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Romany, thanks very much for reading and commenting and your suggestion is a good one, so I think I'll make the change.

Cheers

Kat x

Dil on 20-07-2007
Moon Bound
Kat, a very moving piece that brought back a few memories of my own. Very well written as always.
Dil

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Dil. I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat :o)

e-griff on 22-07-2007
Moon Bound
This was interesting in that you've described this person almost indirectly, It is also clear this is very personal - that adds much weight to the words as it comes across strongly. In essence an excellent piece. not that you can't improve it, mind you, like a jewel you facet and polish has still started as a jewel.
Only comment at the moment is I would take the 'I' out of the last line - can't say why, just makes that flow a bit better for me at least, but it's a fine philosophical ending that resonates.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, griffy. I really appreciate your comments and think that your suggestion is a good one. Think I'll make that change.

Kat

Sunken on 22-07-2007
Moon Bound
A very strong write Ms. Kat. Especially like the ending. Well done and no mistake. Fancy a mint imperial?

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Author's Reply:
Would love one! Good to hear from you, Sunky, and thanks for taking the time to read this and comment.

Kat x

reckless on 22-07-2007
Moon Bound
Beautifully beautifully done. This is an exquisite poem, and one I will want to read again and again. I think it touches on the deepest parts of what makes us human. I love it.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, reckless. What a great and enthusiastic comment to receive which I really appreciate.

Kat

discopants on 22-07-2007
Moon Bound
Enjoyed it- you headed off on a journey and took the reader along with you.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, disco. Cheers for reading and commenting.

Kat


Grandpa Raven (posted on: 16-07-07)
For bluepootle's prose challenge: http://ukauthors.com/phorum5/read.php?32,109096 (edited with thanks to the commenters - have snipped some adjectives etc)

The meteorite looked like a lump of coal on the ice floe. Much smaller than Dr Zach Mc Sweeney had imagined. He was on a mission to collect Alaskan samples for the lab in Vancouver, but instead of scooping an analogue for the Martian surface into the plastic bag and clicking it shut, he'd been startled by an echoing caw which had come to him on the wind.      Zach jack-knifed with the cobalt-coloured rock in his palm and saw the coyote leap away from his avian meal. He was close enough to see the bloody smear on the coyote's snout as it eyeballed him, its fur like a wheat field in the gale. As if a champion javelin-thrower, Zach threw what would have been catalogued as Umiat (a) at the animal which thwacked its rump before the meteorite sank into the sea. Oh fuck, he thought as the coyote's tail waved goodbye.      The bird lay with an outstretched wing as Zach crunched towards it over the snow. Caw-caw, it flapped a feathery operational limb but was going nowhere. Zach bent to observe what he recognised as a raven – Umiat had many. He shrugged off his rucksack and placed it by the bird. Unclipping and loosening the bag he made a space – a makeshift birdcage - and unhooked his cup. Zach pulled off gloves with his teeth and grabbed at softer snow which he warmed with the heat of his hands. The fluid sieved through the basket of his fingers into the beaker.      Zach bathed the shivering raven's injuries, swaddling it with his scarf and positioning it in the snug-space he'd made. Grandpa, he said, christening the raven with the last of the droplets which it opened its bill to receive. He didn't know why Grandpa, but its onyx eyes beamed endurance of many harsh winters. Zach paced out in the direction of the station with Grandpa's head peaking out behind him like a rudder.      He made a nest of wood-shavings in a supplies box. He fashioned a splint for Grandpa's ravished wing, mirroring the bends of cartilage with plastic straws, sellotaping them to Grandpa's shaggy feathers. Caw-caw-caw, the cries grew fainter as Zach dabbed iodine on a tiny breast wound he'd noticed. Grandpa remained stoic, head pillowed in the straw, legs sticking out at right angles. His finger touched a reflex point on Grandpa's clawed feet – they gripped him as a baby would.      The next morning Zach found Grandpa dead – stiff like he'd been stuffed, with eyes like ebony jewels. Grandpa! Grandpa! It dawned on him how ludicrous he was being, thinking he could reanimate the velveteen dodo and realising the raven had somehow saved his life. He skyped his wife:      'Hilary?'      'Zach?'      'Everything OK? I didn't expect a call from you 'til next month.'      'Everything's fine… I'm chartering a plane… I'm coming home.'      'What's happened? Have you had an accident? Tell me!'      'Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm just sick of stones – they've become too heavy. I want to feel light… I want flight.'               
Archived comments for Grandpa Raven
bluepootle on 16-07-2007
Grandpa Raven
This was a complex piece of writing, with quite dense language: it took me a while to follow, but the short length meant that I was prepared to persevere, and I was glad I did. I liked the lack of emotion, and instead you gave us scientific description which worked very well, and the final Skype message had a strange sort of clarity to it that wasn't at all hackneyed. A good picture of an unusual state of mind.

Author's Reply:
blue, many thanks - I enjoyed doing the challenge. I may have a look at that 'denseness' which a slight tweaking here and there of unnecessary (as suggested by others) adjectives might help. I'm looking forward to catching up with the other pieces.

Kat

e-griff on 16-07-2007
Grandpa Raven
this was a nice story, with a good ending. The only thing that bothered me was your insistence on adjectives - everything seemed to have to be an interesting colour! (or a wheat field) ๐Ÿ™‚ I appreciate this style of writing has its place, but I'm not sure it suits this particular story, which is hsort, sweet and direct.

and I didn't understand - 'jack-knifed' - I mean he had to bend down to pick it up, yes? he didn't suddenly receive it and fold up under the weight. Also, he then threw it, so it can't have been that heavy. ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
griffy, thanks for your comments which are very helpful and I will revisit some of the descriptions. Yes, the 'jack-knifed' bit is a bit odd/clumsy and I didn't mean for it to read that the rock was heavy at all because it wasn't (only looking like a piece of coal). I'll take another look at that.

Kat

Ginger on 16-07-2007
Grandpa Raven
This is an intense piece of short prose, seemingly filled with more than at first glance. Is there more of a significance to the naming of the bird?

Only part I had a problem with was the 'jackknifed' bit. It doesn't sit well, and I had to work hard to visualise it.

Other than that, it seems almost like an old folk tale. Nicely done.

Lisa

Author's Reply:
Lisa, thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, I'm going to take another look at the 'jack-knifing' situation. :o)

You're right as well that there are other hints within the story and these would be personal for the reader if aware of any of the mythology surrounding ravens etc which I have read a wee bit about. The naming of the bird could have some significance in that case.

Kat

delph_ambi on 16-07-2007
Grandpa Raven
Intense writing, and a compulsive read. I agree with Griff that it's a bit adjective heavy, but that aside, this is unusual, complex, and very atmospheric.

Author's Reply:
delph, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I'm going to revisit the adjectives and do a wee edit.

Cheers

Kat

Seebaruk on 16-07-2007
Grandpa Raven
A really nice, tender story. You style took a bit of adjusting to, but works well for the piece. My only real criticism would be that maybe it could do with lengthening slightly, perhaps more of an intro, but then that's just my preference. Good effort.

Author's Reply:
Seebaruk, many thanks for taking the time with this and I appreciate your suggestions which make a lot of sense. I'm going to take my snippers to the adjectives as others have suggested and perhaps I will develop this story more in the future.

Cheers

Kat

Rupe on 17-07-2007
Grandpa Raven
Not much I can add to the comments above. Like the others, I found the piece slightly tough going but worth perservering with for its unusual subject-matter and approach. You've established the overall situation with great care & a certain kind of unusual clarity (as bluepootle notes) & that makes it memorable.

I suspect the care you put into envisaging the scene is what led you to make it a little over-adjectival - the main problem is the sheer weight of detail (enamel cup, thermal gloves etc - is it important for us to know all this?). Strimming some of these away would make it a much more fluent read. The phrase 'the famed Canadian astrobiologist' particularly bothered me for some reason.

Good stuff overall though.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Rupe, thank you for your very helpful comments, and although I've strimmed already, I'll strim some more with reference to your suggestions - all much appreciated.

Kat

niece on 18-07-2007
Grandpa Raven
Kat,
As usual, a class apart...wonderful writing!!!

Regds,
niece.

Author's Reply:
niece, thank you for a very encouraging comment and for taking the time to read this.

Kat x


An Avian Summit (posted on: 09-07-07)
Edited - with grateful thanks to Swep & barenib

After the storm on the dead oak the birds gather wings elbowing, tooting anthems to the calm with a throaty toodle-oo, toodle-oo. Red cardinal, blue jay, green kingfisher hog the podium airing feathers together, sharing the totem of how to win.
Archived comments for An Avian Summit
Dil on 09-07-2007
An Avian Summit
Kat, loved 'wing elbowing' and 'hog the podium' Most enjoyable read.
Dil

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Dil. It looks like Swep has made a good suggestion for changing it slightly and I think I'll go with it - the slight change makes it better, I think

Cheers

Kat

Slovitt on 09-07-2007
An Avian Summit
Kat: Would 'The birds gather' be more effective as the third line of your first stanza, allowing it to lead-in to the lines about them, and allowing 'After the storm/On the dead tree trunk'/ to set the scene? And perhaps a specific 'dead tree', oak, pecan, etc. Beyond that, I like the clean, spare lines, and the subject matter, and your 'wings elbowing,'/tooting anthems' is lively. In the second stanza your introduction of color is nice, and 'red' as a descriptor, and then 'blue' as part of the bird's name is a deft touch. The use of the third color, 'green', continues the array of colors and it probably doesn't matter, license or some such, if kingfishers are green, or blue as the ones in this part of the world are. 'totem' stumbles me, as I'm not sure what you're going for here, in my mind the image is of Indian totem poles, in fact totem poles from around the world, and I guess the birds in the dead tree could be evocative of the carvings on the poles and as I type I'm connecting with that as the image and I find I now like it. Anyway, a good imagistic piece of writing, and one that I liked. Swep

Author's Reply:
Swep, your suggestion is great and makes much more sense - thank you! I think I may leave the tree non-specific in this case, though oak would work well, 'dead oak tree'. (But then someone might want to tie a yellow ribbon round it?) ;o)

I like your take on totem - that works well. I think I was meaning to hint at the symbolism of it as something to uphold (literally and metaphorically) and it goes with the trunk and podium.

Thank you for your very helpful and encouraging comments - I'll get pecking at the changes.

Kat

Gerry on 09-07-2007
An Avian Summit
Kat you painted a lovely picture here--I liked it...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hey Gerry

Hope you're well? Many thanks for reading and commenting - much appreciated.

Kat x

shackleton on 09-07-2007
An Avian Summit
Good to read your poetry, Kat. I almost had an image of prehistoric humans howling in triumph at the moon (I always was a funny fella). Great write! I hope you're well.

Author's Reply:
Hi shacks, thank you for reading and commenting - much appreciated. I'm very well and hope you are too - look forward to catching up with your etchings!

Kat x

Sunken on 09-07-2007
An Avian Summit
Hello Ms. Kat. I read this in the early hours, sleep having been broken by an irritating bird of the feathery variety. To be quite frank, the last thing I wanted to read was something bird related... This is damn fine though, so I'll let ya off (-; Good to see you around, like a donut. Take vitamins. Thanks.

s
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k
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is it sunset or sunrise? You decide. Thanks Davina.

Author's Reply:
Haha, Sunky, you always give me a big one! I'm grinning like a Cheshire - thank you for dropping by and I'll go pop my vitamins now.

Kat x

niece on 10-07-2007
An Avian Summit
Beautiful imagery, Kat ... and loved the colours...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
niece, great to hear from you and thanks for commenting. Hope all is well with you - I'm impressed by how far you're getting on with your novel.

Hubby and I are going to India in October (Kanpur) for business, and then planning to do a bit of touring and hopefully visit the Taj Mahal.

Best wishes

Kat x

barenib on 10-07-2007
An Avian Summit
Kat - this has a great atmosphere about it, achieved in so few lines which is very well done. Swep's beaten me to the critique bit, but just to say that I think your unspecific tree is fine, though -
After the storm
on the dead oak
the birds gather
- would work.
Enjoyed this, John.

Author's Reply:
John, thank you for that, and I'll take a good look at your suggestion as it sounds very appealing - 'dead oak' is very evocative.

Cheers

Kat

orangedream on 10-07-2007
An Avian Summit
Enjoyed tremendously, Kat. Wonderfully atmospheric. Good choice of words and imagery. Hope you are well.

warm regards
Tina ๐Ÿ™‚ x

Author's Reply:
Tina, thank you for reading and commenting. I'm very well, thank you. And I'm continuing to enjoy your wonderful work.

Kat x

woodbine on 11-07-2007
An Avian Summit
I am a sucker for imagery and I see this not only as an excellent poem but as a short animated film that would include the storm and the birds that didn't make it. But I have a weakness for taking a jewel and turning it into a basket. This is a lovely piece as it is. I shall carry it away in my mind
as model of simplicity.
John XX

Author's Reply:
John, what a great comment - thank you very much. I really like your idea re film animation of the storm and importantly, those birds that didn't make it. I'm really pleased that came across. *You* taking a jewel and turning it into a basket? No way!

I hope all is well and that you all have great fun at the UKA get together - would love to be able to attend if I was anywhere near, and to see your concerts/readings.

Best wishes

Kat x


I Knew Noah (posted on: 15-06-07)
~

You took the tablets – devoid of reason? I think not. You'd figured exodus was through a toxic gate. A steady hand sifted the medication in twos, endless pairs from a bottomless bottle. A steady hand poured your last drink. People rave about cowardice bang on about the easy option as if your illness was a choice. They're wrong. I know you thought you were ark-building. I know how methodical you were, how neat your handwriting was, though you didn't leave a note. I know you thought you were saving us, I know you were focused, but you weren't right. And now our tears flood.
Archived comments for I Knew Noah
Romany on 15-06-2007
I Knew Noah
The point you make about cowardice and the easy option really struck a chord with me. I have sadly lost both a relative and a friend through suicide, and I interrupted another relative's attempt at suicide. When people afterwards talked about cowardice and easy ways out, it makes me angry, in a sad kind of way. When people reach this desolate and desperate point, I always think that, regardless of their intelleigence and their apparent purpose and the logic of their terrible actions, they are actually in a weak and veulnerable state of mind. In other words, they are doing things that in happier and more settled circumstances they would never dream of doing. It is like a state of mental illness. Dismissing it as cowardly and easy is not acceptable to me. But then, people are always quick to judge, aren't they? Don't want to get too deep here, but I think this is a valuable poem for the very important message it imparts. Thank you and well done.

I knew Noah too,

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Romany, thank you for getting this so wholeheartedly and I'm sorry you've had to face these tragedys too. This subject is one I'm looking at for some work I've been doing and I was inspired to write this because there have been two incidences this year of people taking their own lives - people I've known well - and so much stigma still abounds. Yes, people can be quick to judge, and everyone's case is different and reasons/whys and actions can be very complex.

I look forward to catching up with some of your work again.

Kat x

orangedream on 15-06-2007
I Knew Noah
I agree with Romany's sentiments wholeheartedly. There are many reasons for suicide - not one of them cut and dried, just as there a many facets that make up our individual personalities.

I was moved by this, Kat.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Tina, thank you for reading and commenting, and I agree totally with you. It's good to see you again and I'll be reading you soon!

Kat x

shackleton on 15-06-2007
I Knew Noah
Sad and reflective poem, Kat. I think most of us have been touched by a situation like this. Nicely handled in your unique way. I hope you're well. Bye for now.


Author's Reply:
shacks, thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I'm doing well and I hope you are too - have you been 'showcased' yet? I look forward to reading your work when it happens.

Kat x

barenib on 15-06-2007
I Knew Noah
Kat, you've approached a difficult subject with a bold and clear metaphor that works very powerfully. I too agree with the sentiments expressed about suicide - my feeling is that it takes a great deal of courage, even if through a desperate state of mind. I would have given this a nib, but you'll have to settle for just my comments! John.

Author's Reply:
John, your comments have barenibbed me! ;o) And I'm delighted to read them. I've been reading your fine work again as I've been going through the anthology noms - you'll be getting my vote, for sure.

Kat :o)

Sunken on 15-06-2007
I Knew Noah
Good to see you back Ms. Kitty Kat, and with such a strong piece.

s
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k
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n


Author's Reply:
Sunky, thank you! And speaking of strong pieces, how's that Munky of yours?

Kat x

littleditty on 17-06-2007
I Knew Noah
Hi Kat - The emotion in this one really comes through true and strong - a clear anger, grief, reactions - your poem says it well โ€“ like you said, it is complex, but this felt complete โ€“ at New Year, a friend of mine too- mental health and suicide - complex issues abound, plenty of social aspects to get angry about in the angriness of grief, and in the sadness of loss - 'but you weren't right'...is an emotive ending - the impact is that there is lots for the reader to think about, Great Read. Ditto John.

Katโ€™s back in town :o) I hope all is well over there, and that you and Texas are getting along just fine โ€“ really good to see your poems here again :o) xxditty x


Author's Reply:
dittydotty, it's so lovely to read a comment from you again, and I really appreciate this one very much.

I'm sorry that you've also known the terrible sadness and loss. Before the incidents this year I was already incorporating the devastation and misperceptions about suicide into the novel I'm writing, and of course, I'm driven even more now. I'm also using this as a title poem for a wee bunch of poetry I'm doing as a project for my course.

I hope all's well with you - I've been doing my UKA noms for the anthology. ;o)

Am doin' real fine in hot and steamy southern Texas - ya'll have a good day now, ya hear!

Looking forward to reading your work again.

Kat x

Bradene on 20-06-2007
I Knew Noah
A beautiflly written telling piece of work Kat. Tackled in the sensitve way you a always tackle such painful issues. So good to see you back again Val x

Author's Reply:
Val, thank you for reading and for a very encouraging comment. I enjoyed going through your nominated pieces for the anthology - my only complaint was that I was too spoilt for choice! ;o)

Kat x

Corin on 09-07-2007
I Knew Noah
Hi Kat - I know these aparently quid pro quo comments may seem insincere, but the truth is I am just lazy about checking out the work of the poets I like and I have been busy recently and missed this.

This was a gut wrenching piece - the biblical metaphor you developed through it was so powerful. Suicide of course hurts most the people left behind - may indeed scar them for life and it is easy (and probably right) to hurl anger and abuse at the suicide, but sometimes people jump in front of trains and lorries knowing full well that their death will hurt the driver most painfully. It is just that their own pain is so much greater that they cannot even see that blip of hurt on their radar. I have been in the same storm as your Noah so understand something of what you are saying. Forgive me for responding with a piece of mine 'In the Steps of Stout Cortez':-

http://ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&thold=-1&mode=flat&order=1&sid=14102#114408

"I know that tunnel where no hope shines a light,
Where walls and roofs grow narrower and tight,
And the train behind prevents you turning back,
And the darkness up ahead has blocked the track;
I know the dreadful logic of the pain
That argues that the children should be slain;"

If you follow the meaning and logic of the last two lines you will realise that it was a dreadful place to be.

Warm Wishes

David


Author's Reply:
David, thank you very much for taking the time to read this and for making it a fav - I really appreciate that as I have felt quite sure about this poem but have had some mixed reactions too (someone (not on UKA) suggested it was too contrived a metaphor/too forced), but it came almost like a 'given' poem to me and was written on the day of the funeral...

I appreciate your self-disclosure too and for sharing the piece from 'In the Steps of Stout Cortez' which is possibly my favourite bit of the poem - you gave me permission to post it on my humble website...

A belated congrats to you on being WOTM last month, I think - your interview was excellent.

Thank you for the hotties!

Kat x

Macjoyce on 14-09-2007
I Knew Noah
This is a very good poem.

Is Exodus the right word? Iโ€™m not a big Bible reader. Yeah, I suppose the sailing on the ark with the animals is a kind of exodus. But what about the man in the poem, can one person perform an exodus?

The medication is two by two like the animals. Very clever.

Youโ€™re right, suicide is anything but easy. People who say it is are talking shite.


Author's Reply:
Mac, thanks very much for reading this. I know what you mean re exodus, but I guess I'm thinking of the exodus of his mass (artistic license?). :o)

I wrote this after hearing of the death/suicide of a former mental health nurse colleague, and it was the second suicide this year of someone I know. Suicide/depression/dementia are very much part of the novel I'm writing and these tragic personal events have spurred me on even more.

Thanks again and have a great and cheery weekend, Mr Mac!

Kat x


The Lone Star (posted on: 15-06-07)
~

He wears his heart on the sleeve of his favourite CD. He listens to the lyrics as he irons. Gliding across blouses and shirts he remembers when he wore the trousers, while Don croons about his lone star state of mind. He aqua-squirts stubborn creases, notes a gathering of cumulonimbus, stretches the elastic on his apron strings to pluck garments from the whirligig. He used to be an insensitive bastard.
Archived comments for The Lone Star
delph_ambi on 15-06-2007
The Lone Star
Effective in the way it hints at how relationships can change people. Some great imagery. Enjoyable poem. Very tightly constructed.

Author's Reply:
delph, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I look forward to catching up with some of your work soon.

Kat :o)

freya on 15-06-2007
The Lone Star
Kat, this is priceless! So well done. A wonderful tongue-in-cheek comment on the US gender debate. And coming straight from Texas, of all places! At first I was inclined to suggest at least one cut of the pronoun 'he', but on reflection think the repetition throughout a very effective way to emphasize the bored-out of-your mind, repetitive motion involved in ironing piece after piece of clothing, as well as this lone star's now close-to robotic state of mind. How I love all those 's' sounds, too. So aptly matched to the hiss of steam rising from an iron. I'm totally impressed!

Do you know, I was highly amused to see your use of cumulonimbus together with this image of a ironing board lone ranger. I have an old poem in which a 'cool eyed ranger' appears ( reminiscent of an era prior to feminism), and in reworking it I used the word cumulocirrus! Had to search for that one, I can tell you, though in my case it was a matter of sticking to a particular syllabic verse form. ๐Ÿ™‚

Kat, I'm so delighted to see your work on here again. I have been keeping up with what's going on with you via your web-page: girl, you are an inspiration. Shelagh xx

Author's Reply:
Shelagh, I'm delighted to see this great comment from you which makes my poem sound good. ;o) I really appreciate the links you've made and it's very interesting to read your interpretation which is accurate, though I came to this from a way far away coast and the title was a given. It's great to read your explanations which are so helpful as you've explained things much better than I could myself!

What a coincidence with your poem too - I'd like to read it.

Thank you for your encouraging words and it's good to see you around as well.

Kat x

Ginger on 16-06-2007
The Lone Star
Not an unnecessary word in sight. Great view of how a person can completely change under the right circumstances.

Lisa

Author's Reply:
Lisa, thanks very much for reading and commenting - much appreciated.

Kat :o)


Men (posted on: 16-02-07)
I think I'm obsessing at the moment. ;o) Just had to post another couple of things before I go back into hibernation (unelected).

So, you've realised we don't need you, and now you seek the secret scent of our lady-like strength. Your nail-bitten fingers caress silk gussets through the tulle of our wedding dresses. But, panty envy will get you nowhere. Just live up to your gender – be a man who embraces feminine ways, and admit to borrowing our clothing, once in a while.
Archived comments for Men
Apolloneia on 17-02-2007
Men
a good, solid poem - deserves more attention. x

Author's Reply:
Hey, hello, Mrs A!

Great to hear from you, and many thanks for taking the time to read and comment - hope you're well!

Kat x

orangedream on 17-02-2007
Men
I agree with Apolloneia. An interesting and highly original poem, in your usual unique style Kat. Enjoyed.

regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Aw, thank you, Tina - much appreciated. I only seem to be able to do 'tongue-in-cheek' kind of stuff, but there's hopefully a bit of depth too.

Kat x

Sunken on 17-02-2007
Men
Ahem. Ya know Ms. Kat, I could quite easily be persuaded to try on a pair of women's knickers. I quite like the feel of silk...
I hope you're happy now that you've got that out of me! It's a disgrace! What style would you suggest for my first pair? I quite like the look of those French knickers to be frank... or should that be Francesca? (-;

s
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k
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his sex therapist said no

Author's Reply:
Hehe... crotchless, of course! Plenty of room for the tail, Mr Munky. ;o) Many thanks for dropping in - it's always good to see you.

Kat x

Sunken on 17-02-2007
Men
Forgot to say, Ms. Kat, thanks for reading munky. I'm never that sure if anyone is, so it's good to hear. Cheers me dears.

s
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k
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sunday is no pants day

Author's Reply:
You're welcome! Your Munky should be snatched up to a suitable high branch deserving of his talents! ;o)

Kat x

Macjoyce on 13-09-2007
Men
Are clothes the secret of a womanโ€™s strength? I suppose that makes sense. Your clothes are much better than ours. I wish I could wear a dress and fishnet stockings outside London without people giving me dirty looks. I think fishnets are fab, though I donโ€™t think Iโ€™m a tranny, any more than you are for wearing trousers.

Marlene


Author's Reply:
Well, Marlene, I think 'women' are the secret of women's strength! ;o) It's not about what's outside... and I agree with what you say about your 'tranny' tendencies... ;o) You sound very self-actualised!

Kat x


The Man (posted on: 09-02-07)
~

You kept me at arm's length for the two years you were dying. Wouldn't let yourself be seen, 'undignified,' but you weren't. Dignity pervades circumstance and the skin and bone existence of the terminally ill as maliciousness invades. No pill could make you well. No medicine could dull your Bryl-creamed integrity - no thing could break your spell.
Archived comments for The Man
Romany on 09-02-2007
The Man
Very astute and difficult observation to make of a terminally ill person, especially the 'maliciousness' line. A sobering read.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Romany, thanks for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated - hope you're well!

Kat x

Gerry on 09-02-2007
The Man
Kat, welcome back ๐Ÿ˜‰ even though it is with a sad poem. you made the point though...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Gerry, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this. Unfortunately, I'm not 'back' as such, just passing through this weekend en route to moving house/country. Hope all's well with you.

Kat x

Bradene on 09-02-2007
The Man
Lovely to see you back Kat. The poem sure is a sad one, beautifully done with your usual sensitivity. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Great to hear from you, and thanks for reading and commenting! Unfortunately, I'm not 'back' as I'm very busy with other bits and bobs, not least, *that* ol' book of mine. ;o) Hope all's well with you, and I'll keep you posted.

Kat x

Sunken on 10-02-2007
The Man
Good to see you back Ms. Kit Kat. This deserves the full two chocolate fingers and no mistake... Jeezuz, that sounds so wrong. I best leave before I say something else out of turn.

s
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k
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missing presumed massaged

Author's Reply:
lol, Mr Munky's 'better'? half. ;o) It's great to hear from you and your un-altered ego! Keep shining like the hairy star you are! Thanks for the full two fingers, as always! ;o)

K
a
t

not really back

orangedream on 10-02-2007
The Man
Oh Kat. I read this poem yesterday and thought I had commented on it. It is so beautiful. I had missed you and thought, great, you're back. But you are only passing through I understand. Do hope all is well with you and that the move goes smoothly. Every success with your book too.

Anyway - as people have said before me, this poem is so poignant:-

'no thing could break your spell'.

All the best
Tina

Author's Reply:
Tina, thank you for taking the trouble to drop in and let me know what you thought, and for your good wishes which are very much appreciated. Have a great weekend!

Kat x

niece on 11-02-2007
The Man
Kat,

It's great to read something written by you once again...hope you will keep posting more often despite your busy schedule. A very touching and beautiful poem, btw!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Great to hear from you, and thanks for your enthusiastic response! :o) I hope your own writing is going well with the book - keep it going!

Kat x

wfgray on 13-02-2007
The Man
This is a poem that brings the reality to one's life, We all know that it happens too often. A truly sad poem. Will

Author's Reply:
Will, thank you for taking the time to read this and let me know your thoughts. Yes, it's sad indeed, and about someone who was very dear to me.

Best wishes
Kat x

littleditty on 28-02-2007
The Man
*ashamed* i didnt leave a message here before ...it's a real good poem Kat. Hope all is well with you, hope you are settling in ok xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi dittyone

Great to hear from and thanks for reading this and leaving a comment. Yep, very busy with all the moving plans and my infamous book - just finished a marathon 14 hour session over 4000 words - can you believe it? I'm not getting anywhere fast. ;o)

Kat x

Texasgreg on 31-05-2012
The Man
I hadn't seen your presence for a little while so I checked your postings. Hope all is well...
This is a poem that sounds just like someone I know, so must be indicative of a strong and caring spirit that is impossible to not love. Excellent!

Greg ๐Ÿ™‚


Author's Reply:
Hi Greg

Thanks for taking the time to comment - much appreciated.

Hope you are continuing to be inspired. I'm a bit caught up with my wee boy who doesn't have afternoon naps anymore... !

Best wishes

Kat

Andrea on 31-05-2012
The Man
Came to this through Greg, Kat, must have missed first time around. It's very, very emotional. Excellent stuff.

Hope you're well, by the way!

Author's Reply:
Thanks for taking the time with this, Andrea.

I wish I had the time for writing and reading, but a few things on the go including a possible move back to Edinburgh over the summer.

Hope all is well with you and UKA.

Kat

Texasgreg on 31-05-2012
The Man
Lol. I certainly remember those days. Took 'em for granted most of the time, but fondly remember and cherish them now. My son loves talking to me about the shenanigans he pulled and how innocently he was able to get himself, (and me), into trouble when he was a young 'un. I saw a posting from someone on a pretty dreary poem and posted "Someone needs a kitten", joking, of course. That brought you to my mind. That's what it takes at my age, hehe. Anywho, good to see all is well. You should consider keeping a journal of your days with the little terror...I now wish I had. The modern marvel of digital video cannot replace sitting down at the end of the day writing about events and the feelings you had at the time.

Best,

Greg ๐Ÿ™‚


Author's Reply:


Squashing Wings (posted on: 08-12-06)
Edited (yet again!)

I've been sad now I'm happy thought you'd be glad but you zapped me with your tragic wand, your look of doom, Calm down, Kim, like it's a sin,                  to ride bare on exuberance's back. And my left wing quivers not in hovering thought but in jubilation that I'm flying high ~waving goodbye to your right wing.
Archived comments for Squashing Wings
Romany on 08-12-2006
Squashing Wings
like itโ€™s a sin, to ride
on exuberanceโ€™s back.

There's always someone all too ready to make you feel guilty for being happy, isn't there? Another deep little poem from you, and in so few words too.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading, Romany - much appreciated! Yes, there can be a lot of that happy-bashing going around sometimes. lol

Kat :o)

Bradene on 08-12-2006
Squashing Wings
Loud applause Kat, Know this feeling well of late, you do this sort of thing so well. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Val! And if you've been experiencing this recently you can rest assured, of course, that they're just jealous. ;o)

Kat x

orangedream on 08-12-2006
Squashing Wings
Loved the lines:-

and my left wing quivers ...
and waving goodbye to your right wing.

As Val says - you excel at this sort of thing, Kat

Tina x


Author's Reply:
Aw, thank you, Tina - I edited that second 'and' out now as I think it was superfluous, but I still seem to be at the itchy finger/editing stage with this. *ties hands behind back*

Kat x

Sunken on 09-12-2006
Squashing Wings
Oh balls. I know have 'It's a sin' by those Pet shop boys in my head. If this continues all day I shall be making a claim young Kat on a mat. Thanks.

its - a - sin - la la la la la la la laaaaa la la la la la la la laaaaa....

s
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k
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regrets the black pants

Author's Reply:
Mr Munky, my poem has evidently damaged your internal singsong-sheet for which I offer (in recompense) the auto-suggestion of Phil Oakey (wearing *very tight* black pants) singing, 'Love Action' - I hope that is a suitable antidote? :o)

But no matter, you always make me have a 'Lovely Day' when you drop by (and now I've got Bill Withers dueting with Phil!).

Kat x

Evitchka on 09-12-2006
Squashing Wings
Great to read a poem that aspires to joy. I like the juxtaposition of the two wings. Neat.

Author's Reply:
Hi and welcome to UKA, Evitchka (great name)

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

eddiesolo on 09-12-2006
Squashing Wings
I must admit, just as others have pointed out...you do write this sort of thing extremely well. You know I sometimes see a similarity between you and Littleditty sometimes.

Anyway...bloody good stuff.

Si...giving a ten cos he wants to...:-)

Author's Reply:
Si, that's a lovely comment, and I'm very touched by any comparison to the great little ditty! :o) *whispers* she's a real poet, ya know. Thanks for taking the time to read and let me know your thoughts.

Kat x

littleditty on 09-12-2006
Squashing Wings
Dear Si, I have been wondering if Kat is also left handed - and Kat, i like this too - like the new layout - it adds to the lightness of touch, and it is joy at the end - *Pffs* to the look of gloom - *pfffffs* nuther good one i reckon :o) xxxldx

Author's Reply:
Thank you, your Loyal Highness! ;o) I'm glad you like the new layout - it seemed to be the solution to the fact I wanted to do a new stanza, but it didn't call for one, but needed some space (if you know what I mean). Yes, I don't tolerate these kind of doom-mongers well at all - came across two this week alone! Aargh! So zipped them in to a poem.

I'm right-handed, but do some things like I'm left-handed, like the splits and cartwheels (but not recently). ;o)

Cheers

Kat x

flossieBee on 10-12-2006
Squashing Wings
I like 'zapped with your tragic wand'

This poem has a quiet exuberance to it. It's fab.

fB x

Author's Reply:
Hey, thanks flossie! (love that name)

I just fiddled with it again (think I've got the littleditties). ;o)

Kat x

pencilcase on 10-12-2006
Squashing Wings
What an amazingly subtle wiggly hyphen before 'waving goodbye'! I always appreciate an appropriately placed wiggly hyphen.

Thought from the title that this might be about childhood destruction of insects - but it is more concerned with the childish 'adult' destruction of instincts. Although this poem is not 'difficult', I think your suggestion to the reader to think of a kid literally squashing the wing of a fly or somat is effective.

Glad to have landed on this one, but now I have to buzz off.

Steve

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Steve - much appreciate you taking the time with this, and especially for thinking the wiggly bit was OK - I couldn't resist popping one in, but wasn't sure if it would be 'acceptable.' :o) I think I'm done (for now), wiggling bits about.

Prost!

Kat x

Macjoyce on 13-09-2007
Squashing Wings
Is this poem about a break-up? Your left wing, or flank, or whatever you want to call it, though I suppose wing is better because a flank canโ€™t really quiver, is quivering with freedom from the presence of his right wing-flank?

I could be wrong. I have no idea whether the woman is supposed to sleep on the left or the right. I see no logical reason for either.

Good poem,

Mac


Author's Reply:
Thanks, Mac - I appreciate the time you take to mull over people's work - you're a good reader. :o)This is about life's balloon poppers - the people who want to take the wind from your sails - the energy vampires!

Cheers

Kat x


The Little Blue Book (posted on: 08-12-06)
~

He reads and writes He thinks and writes A theory's forming Fit for storming Scientific boundaries. Whirr whirr Buzz buzz Scribble scribble Neurons dribble Life's labours Don't quibble. I think he's right.
Archived comments for The Little Blue Book
Bradene on 08-12-2006
The Little Blue Book
Sounds a bit like me when I'm at work!! Lol I love this Kat Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hehe... thanks, Val - much appreciated you dropping by.

Kat x

orangedream on 08-12-2006
The Little Blue Book
....me too, Val, Kat, except in my case it's rather more like clunk, clunk.

Enjoyed!

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Never, Tina! Thanks for reading and commenting - much appreciated.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 08-12-2006
The Little Blue Book
Oh, it's not the little blue book with all the mucky jokes in, then? Damn, I've been mislead - how dare you! Seriously, I can't manage such wonderful theories - more like dribble and scribble, though not necessarily in that order. This was small, but beautifully formed.

Author's Reply:
Aw, thank you, Mr Roy - much appreciated that you dropped in.

Kat :o)

Sunken on 09-12-2006
The Little Blue Book
I often dribble in my sleep Ms. Kat. I don't mean from my penis, if that's what you're thinking. Oh no, that all in good working order thank you very much. I meant from my mouth. I wonder what causes it. I know I dream or marsh mellows a lot... anyway, thats not important right now. Just like you, a lovely little piece (-;

s
u
n
k
e
n

regrets the summer of 98

Author's Reply:
Good morning, Mr Sunky! Lovely to see you on this fine Saturday morning, fine because you've popped in and left a snail's trail of... spittle? Nay... sizzling remarks! Have a great weekend, luvly Munky!

Kat x

niece on 11-12-2006
The Little Blue Book
I've seen someone like that...myself? I'm no where near these descriptions...Can't go into too many details and would rather watch such people in open-mouthed awe!!! And yes...agree with them!!!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
niece, haha! I think there are a few around, and if you're a bit like this, I bet you'll have something worth hearing when you're finished! :o) Thank you for dropping in.

Kat x

eddiesolo on 04-01-2007
The Little Blue Book
Oh, what a blue book of perfecto wordage!

Nice little piece, enjoyed.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Si! All the best to you for 2007!

Kat x


Eve's Skirt (posted on: 01-12-06)
Thanks to e-griff (with jingle bells on!) for editorial input.

It hangs heavy on her menopausal hips which bone through an M&S ready-to-wear I have come to hate. Its hideous taupe, ribbed-cotton drapes - that should swing in freedom but cling to juts of cartilage Adam's apple style - indicate curtains for her. Eve's failing frame is softened in a pliable way like a flaccid (non-viable) cock in a condom. Her memory is extinct – the brown buttons mere relics, like the lover who wouldn't undo them for the wrong reasons or the taxi-driver who wouldn't help when she exited his cab and hoofed her hem. It was as easy to take off as to put on – like a snaking pashmina.
Archived comments for Eve's Skirt
Bradene on 01-12-2006
Eves Skirt
Gosh Kat that's sad, it comes to us all in the end. I love the way you express yourself though, this is just first class:-

Eveโ€™s failing frame is softened
in a pliable way like a flaccid (non-viable)
cock in a condom.
Love Val x



Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Thank you! Yes, it is a bit of a sad one. I like the bit you've highlighted too. Just PMd you - that sounds so rude. *blushes*

Have a great weekend!

Kat x

petersjm on 01-12-2006
Eves Skirt
Terribly sad. I'm useless when it comes to allegory, but I get the feeling there's something more than just a skirt you're talking about (forgive me for being brainless this afternoon!)

Author's Reply:
Hi PJ

Brainless? Never! I think you're very astute. ;o) Yes, the skirt is symbolic. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Kat x

orangedream on 01-12-2006
Eves Skirt
I'm with Val and petersjm Kat. Great poem, brilliantly written. Enjoyed immensely.

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Tina, many thanks for that. Hope you've got a great weekend lined up.

Kat x

eddiesolo on 01-12-2006
Eves Skirt
Wonderful write my dear, so sad.

Life moves forward and we spread out, yet we don't always envelope the life that we want.

Good write.

Si:-)

PS CONGRATS ON WOTM!



Author's Reply:
Si, what a great poetic reply - enjoyed! :o) Thanks for reading and your congrats.

Kat x

Rupe on 02-12-2006
Eves Skirt
Great. Shows how sometimes it's the little and seemingly incidental touches that make the difference between good and brilliant. The non-viable (in parentheses) cock is an example of that.

Something about the last couple of stanzas made me think of Auden's 'Musรฉe des Beaux Arts'. Maybe the suspiciously casual tone when in fact revealing the key to the piece (?)

Author's Reply:
Rupe, what a lovely (and very flattering) comment - thank you! You are right about the last couple of stanzas being key - look forward to catching up with some more of your work again soon.

Kat :o)

e-griff on 02-12-2006
Eves Skirt
I liked the last two verses best, they flowed with a confidence that was more hesitant in the earlier three. Overall it was efective and enjoyable, funny but sad as well, someone putting a brave face on things but internally not happy.

In the first verse, I'd reduce the number of subjects (you have one per line - it, which, I - they confused me a bit. perhaps using 'hanging' to refer back to hips rather than state the 'which' (which I was trying to relate to skirt initially).

The second verse has, IMO a punctuation flaw:

Its hideous taupe, ribbed-cotton drapes
(that should swing in freedom)
but cling to juts of cartilage Adamโ€™s
apple style - indicate curtains for her.

- the 'but' refers to the 'that' within the brackets and should be in them with it - in fact all the text from 'that' to 'style' is one aside, isn't it? I don't like brackets in poems, so rather than extend them why not place a dash before 'that' - you already have the second of the pair in the right place and dump the brackets?

I have to disagree about '(non-viable)' . I think this could be cut. In fact it is tautological, as a flaccid cock in a condom says all we need to know more cleverly - no need to explain it and distract us, IMO.

anyway, I did enjoy reading it before my 'after-cruncher' cut in and hauled me back to it. ๐Ÿ™‚ best JohnG




Author's Reply:
*thinking cap is perched back to front on head*

OK... your suggestion re stanza 2 is spot on - it clanked a bit for me on reading, and I think you've solved that with your excellent suggestion - I'll change it - thank you!

Re (non-viable): I think it depends on whether you're thinking before or after (if you get my drift), and here I was thinking more (after) which is definitely different and fits with my intention for its use. I hope that makes sense? So, I'll keep that for now.

Thank you again, Griffy - I really appreciate your input.

Kat :o)

e-griff on 03-12-2006
Eves Skirt
I rethought my comment on the first verse, which was off the mark. Sorry!

(I always check) G ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Griffy, thank you very much for taking the time with this and I will definitely have a good look at your suggestions which sound spot on, but I need to get my thinking head on. *now, where did I put it?*

I'll be back to this - thanks again!

Kat :o)

Sunken on 03-12-2006
Eves Skirt
Hello Ms. Kat. Isn't Tony Blaire looking frail? I hope this helps. Well done on being wotm. I always like Ms. December as the frost tends to encourage greater nipple relief. Now, lets sing a song -

somewhere over the rainbow
way up high
there's a land that I dreamed of
once in - MAMA MIA LET ME GO - ...


no, it still doesn't sound right.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he has a fear of whincy willis

Author's Reply:
Aw, Sunky... you are like a munky sent from heaven (nice wings!), but *why* are you wearing ladies' intimate whotsits on your head? ;o)

I love your song - like something Graham Norton might sing atop of the Christmas tree? Thank *you* for all of your humour this year (like every year!).

Kat x

Saxonshadow on 06-12-2006
Eves Skirt
Hi, Kat, this is not my first read of this totally wicked piece, I enjoyed your choice of language in this piece and will read again for sure,
ps. is 'ribbed' linked to condom? lol SS

Author's Reply:
ps. is 'ribbed' linked to condom?

It is now! ;o)

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

niece on 06-12-2006
Eves Skirt
Kat,
Sadly beautiful poem...and congrats on your being chosen WOTM!!! You definitely deserve to be up there...!!!

Regds,
niece:)

Author's Reply:
Lovely to hear from you, niece, and thank you! You are one of many people here who have encouraged me with comments and with reading your writing too. Hope all's well with you, and that your book is continuing along well.

Kat x

Abel on 06-12-2006
Eves Skirt
Masterfully done, Miss Kat. Wow.

Wardo

Author's Reply:
Wardo! Many thanks. *grinning*

Kat :o)

Yutka on 07-12-2006
Eves Skirt
You made me smile, Kim, with this evocative and brilliant poem! The "flaccid cock in a condom" (with its enjambement) surely did it fo many ("chuckle" I mean) Congratulations for WOTM also from me for a well deserved poet and writer!
Yutka:)

Author's Reply:
Yutka, how lovely to see this great message from you - thank you! Very much appreciated.

Kat/Kim x


The Curious Incident with the Dog in the Day-Time (posted on: 01-12-06)
Mark Haddon parody

And then a black poodle walked by with its owner. It was 12 minutes after three. It looked just like Wellington, but Wellington had been murdered so it couldn't be. The dog was close enough for me to touch it, and I really wanted to, just to make sure that it wasn't Wellington, leave no stone unturned! But it was wearing a yellow leather collar and attached to it was a yellow leather lead.      I did calm thinking then I bent down and stretched my right hand out to touch its left side. I was trying to feel for scar tissue. The dog turned to peer at me with tiny brown eyes which made me think of treacle toffees. Treacle toffees with sheep fleece stuck to them. And then he yelped.      The owner said, 'What did you do to my dog?'      'I was making sure he wasn't the dead dog,' I said.      'She is certainly not the dead dog,' he said. 'Keep your hands off my dog!'      The owner tugged at the dog's yellow leather lead. They both walked off, and the man had his nose in the air and the poodle, hers. The man was wearing a brown and cream checked shirt with dark blue jeans. There were 399 brown squares on his back.      I don't think that was Wellington. Especially not as Wellington was a he. And he was also meant to be dead. I felt shaky and scared and very, very sad.      I continued on to the shop doing fours in my head. Twos would not be enough. 8, 12, 16 and I got to 120 and then I began to feel a bit better. Then I jangled the change around in my pocket. I planned to buy 2 extra liquorice laces. I didn't envy Sherlock Holmes.
Archived comments for The Curious Incident with the Dog in the Day-Time
ThePhoenix on 04-12-2006
The Curious Incident with the Dog in the Day-Time
I loved the book curious incident of the dog in the night time. I gave a copy to my mum to make her read it as we both used to work with children with autism, I found it to be extremely accurate to the mind processes of the children I used to work with and think the author is very clever, I like your little homage to him, excellent, made me want to read the book again!

dX

Author's Reply:
Aw, thank you, Phoenix! I also enjoyed the book and thought it showed a lot of authenticity too. I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat :o)

neotom on 31-12-2006
The Curious Incident with the Dog in the Day-Time
An interesting read. Of course, it's impossible to offer constructive criticism as the narrator is presumably autistic, so may mean to say things 'wrong'. For instance, the numbers in this piece were inconsistent with the usual way of representing them. Don't mix worded numbers with non-worded numbers (12 and three); or, don't start a sentence with a non-worded number (8, 12...). I might be wrong with the 12 and three, since one is minutes, the other hours (I assume?).

Maybe, though this helps the reader in their suspension of disbelief. Maybe, that's why Mark Haddon is having difficulty selling anything else? Well, I read that was true; maybe it isn't.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to more fiction from the Kat.

Tom

Author's Reply:
Tom, I appreciate you taking the time to read this and comment - it's a parody and is representative of the style Haddon used for his autistic narrator, Christopher.

Cheers

Kat :o)


The First Black Person (posted on: 27-11-06)
I was prompted to post this after reading one of the forum threads: http://ukauthors.com/phorum5/read.php?1,95375

I look forward to the day when personal achievements aren't announced as sequel to colour. There was Halle Berry – beautiful, talented, Denzil Washington – handsome, talented, Sidney Poitier – still handsome, long over-looked. They were all first black people… I heard that Bill and Hilary now hang in oils in the White House. The artist's name escapes me, but, I remember he was the first black person to have painted a portrait, blah blah blah. A shame his fame is eclipsed by eras of obvious and insidious blinkeredness. I await the day when Halle is simply the best actress, and not the first black person to win two Oscars.
Archived comments for The First Black Person
e-griff on 27-11-2006
The First Black Person
I see what you meant. Yes, indeedy this expresses exactly whay I was trying to John G

Author's Reply:
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, John.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Ginger on 27-11-2006
The First Black Person
I am hoping for exactly the same. Well written sentiments.

This says it all:
I remember he was the first black person
to have painted a portrait, blah blah blah.

Lisa

Author's Reply:
Hi Lisa

Thank you for quoting my blah blah blahs! ;o) Thanks for dropping in.

Kat :o)

orangedream on 27-11-2006
The First Black Person
Interesting, isn't it Kat. You really made me think. When do they ever say stuff like, "The first white person ...and so on and so on an so forth." (sorry, I was trying to think of a variant on your blah, blah, blahs but couldn't think of a good one)

All joking aside you make a strong point with your succinct, excellently written poem, Kat.

regards
Tina :0)



Author's Reply:
Aw, thank you, Tina. :o)

Another one that gets me is when people say something like, 'so and so did this or that, he's gay you know, but a really nice chap...' as if one should negate the other somehow. These are the 'insidious' things that stand out a mile in my book. lol

I really appreciate you popping in.

Kat x

Gemini-Janus on 28-11-2006
The First Black Person

This is a point well made and it has caused me to stop and think about the way I speak and write.

A lot of this is just lazy journalism. For example: It used to be that women were often referrred to with their 'vital statistics' appended to their names. There is still a tendency to quote their age and comment on their degree of attractiveness.

In the workplace, I am encouraged to 'celebrate diversity' and to proactively counter any and all forms of prejudice. But it is all to easy to fall into the trap you describe.



Author's Reply:
Hi GJ,

Thanks for dropping by and enjoyed reading your comments. Yes, I think diversity is very exciting and I like nothing better than meeting new people and finding out a bit about them, though I can't imagine falling into the 'trap' of making statements which suggest/hint at prejudice and bigotry. But maybe I'm abnormal.

Kat :o)

Gerry on 29-11-2006
The First Black Person
Hi Mystic Kat, yes good points raised here.
It comes in handy for identification though doesn't it? no matter what colour ๐Ÿ˜‰

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

Yes, as distinguishing marks go, the colour of your skin can be distinguishing. Thanks for dropping in!

Kat x

Bradene on 30-11-2006
The First Black Person
A point well made Kat, but I think even 100 years from now they will all still be known as the first of their kind to achieve whatever it was they were first to achieve, it will be an historic land mark in the development of mankind and that surely must be something to be proud of. (-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Yes, Val, I do agree with your point too, and I've used colour here, but it could have been gender, sexual preference etc, and when you are the 'first' at something it is an achievement indeed... the youngest, oldest...



One of the most moving things I ever read was Maya Angelou talking about receiving one of (many) honorary doctorates which I believe (if I remember correctly) she got from her cousin... and they were both first black people (in their family) if not totally, to have this notoriety... for Maya to receive the award from her cousin who was an academic at the university and their grandmother was a slave.



It's just that some things in life change rapidly, and some things don't...



Thank you, my friend.



Kat x

Macjoyce on 13-09-2007
The First Black Person
Yeah, I know what you mean. Itโ€™ll take a century or so though, I reckon, for Western civilisation to properly get over race. Political correctness certainly doesnโ€™t help. Because black people are a minority (8% of the worldโ€™s population) and their repression is still not so far back, this climate will continue for some time.

Good poem. Particularly liked the opening three lines.

Mac the Honky


Author's Reply:
Cheers, Mac - honk honk! How nice you're stirring up the dust in my archives. ;o) Thanks for taking the time.

I know what you're saying but I don't think because people are in a minority group they shouldn't be simply treated the same - it's basic human relations stuff, and considering how quickly technological advances are made these days (and the human brain is meant to be 'the best') you'd think we could get up to speed a bit better. Political correctness has gone awry for sure.

Kat x


Tunnock's Teacakes (posted on: 27-11-06)
http://www.tunnocks.co.uk/teacake.htm

Spongy gooey sticky creamy launching tongue through heavenly chocolate. Scooping shovelling sensuous delicious fondant to taste buds. A perpetual action dictated by glucagon-ised sugar craving. When all is excavated, biscuit layer is gently nibbled, though gums would be enough here. Delicate bites or gnaws with jaws, mouth salivates, lubricates in drooling anticipation of number two, in a pack of six.
Archived comments for Tunnock's Teacakes
Ginger on 27-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
My mouth is watering! You should have a health warning on this for all of us dieting!
Cheers, Lisa

Author's Reply:
Hi Lisa

Hehe, I know what you mean... I'm a huge fan of these and have been known to polish off a box of them in no time at all. Thanks for popping in to read and comment.

Kat :o)

orangedream on 27-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
What a marvellously scrummy word-picture you paint here Kat! Love the changes in tempo/rhythm as you talk about the different layers etc. of the various cakes or cake.

Brilliantly done!

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Tina! Just a wee fun piece - I must get my paws on some when I'm in Scotland over Christmas.

Cheers

Kat x

littleditty on 27-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
Dear Kat - do they sell them at Bugens? I am going there right now to see, but will settle for 6 pack of Kit-Kat, no problem - some words are delicious and you have a feast going on up there - scrumptious write xxxldx

Author's Reply:
Love your comment, dittyone, thank you! :o)

I'm not sure about Bugens (I've never heard of them, I'm afraid)... Tunnock's are a Scottish company - do/dare they export south of the border? ;o) Hehe... I love their Snowballs too - they have the same gooey fondant stuff in the midst of coconuty chocolate - they're great frozen - giving the consistency a wonderful viscous effect (and makes them last longer)... especially if you only have gums.

Thanks again.

Kat x

Sunken on 28-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
Ya know, I can eat like a... (thing that eats a lot) and never put any weight on at all. My doctor says it's something to do with metabollocks or something. To be quite frank Kat, I didn't know that my bollocks had anything to do with weight issues. It was certainly an eye opener and no mistake. I hope this comment finds you in positions relative to eating... and that the absence of bollocks does not impede on your tasty delights. Thanks. Oh, top poem by the way. Sorry.

s
u
n
k
e
n

one of his big toes is loose

Author's Reply:
Huh? Now that's where I've been going wrong... I need some metabollocks! I really think you're on to something there, Mr Munky (you sure you're not the Unkle?). He's full of... er... great tips! ;o)



Will I, and millions of other women be able to get rid of orange, nay, *grapefruit* peel skin on our thighs and buttocks with our new meta-metal-bollocks? Thank you for dropping your testes-ment by - I haven't eaten yet - I think I'm going to be prick.



Kat x

e-griff on 28-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
ah, you had me confused, until I went to the Tunnocks website and realised that what I knew was Tunnocks Caramel Wafers ...Yummmm.

Interestingly (and I remember the labels now) unlike Robertson's and the golliwogs, Tunnocks uses a young Gordon Brown as a model, apparently.

Author's Reply:
Well, confusing you, Griffy, isn't easy... I got up very early this morning. ;o) Hehe... yes, those caramel wafers are brill too, likewise the coconut logs (but enough about my bowel habits).

I didn't know that about Gordon... he used to be our local MP (Dunfermline East) once upon a time. My dad and step-mum dined with him recently when he introduced the annual Adam Smith lecture at Adam Smith College in Kirkcaldy where step-ma works.

Kat :o)

Gemini-Janus on 28-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes

Talking of coconut logs, your drooling anticipation of a number two is perhaps an unfortunate phrase. (Unless it's meant as a double entendre.)

The word 'computerised' is maybe not sensual enough in this context.

Otherwise, I was right there with you, sinking my gnashers into chocolate heaven.

(Don't dieticians recommend that we should eat five portions of chocolate a day? Or is that vegetables? No, definitely chocolate.)



Author's Reply:
Haha... yes, definitely chocolate! ;o) Thank you for taking the time to read and comment and give me a chuckle. I'll take another look at 'computerised'... cheers!



Kat :o)

PS. have swapped computerised for glucagon-ised - I'm not sure if this works any better, and maybe it doesn't make sense, (it's not as smooth) but I was trying to show how much of a sweetie-a-holic the narrator is. ;o) Thanks again.

Gerry on 29-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
Kat, nice one ๐Ÿ˜‰ an all time favourite of mine...

Gerry. xxx.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Gerry. I can't get them too often, so I guess I'm a bit fixated! M&S do a nice pack of teacakes too, but my very favourites are their flapjacks... er... just making my list for when I'm in Scotland over the hols. ;o)

Kat x

wfgray on 29-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
Hi Kat, all my good resolutions gone back to the biscuit barrel once again. Great. Will

Author's Reply:
Hi Will

Aw... but I know what you mean, and a little of what you fancy... but I'm such an all or nothing person, so it's all six or nowt for me! ;o) Thank you for dropping by - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Abel on 30-11-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
So descriptive and sensuous, Kat. Well done...now I'm hungry. ๐Ÿ˜‰

w

Author's Reply:
Haha... thank you for dropping in for a bite, Abel! :o) Always good to hear from you.

Kat x

Ionicus on 01-12-2006
Tunnocks Teacakes
Dear Caterina, when I read this the first thought that came to mind was 'naughty but nice' like in the television's advert for cream cakes.
Then my one-track mind took over when it came to the mention of a pack of six. Purely coincindental, I'm sure.
Nicely done.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
*laughing my head off*

Luigi, what a great comment, and how interesting it *always* is to get other people's interpretations. Ha! I guess you could call this safe six? *Groans on your behalf* Yes, I'm scraping at the bottom of the biscuit barrel...

Thanks for that! :o)

Kat x


The Future Includes Me (posted on: 20-11-06)
An age updated article I wrote a few years ago. First published in Openmind no. 120 Mar/Apr 2003 and on the Mental Health Matters website: www.mental-health-matters.com/ Once upon a time...

I was depressed for several months between 1999 and 2000. I tried to see in the new millennium with some optimism for the future, having decided that my best bet was to move to another country to be with my boyfriend. Such a choice wasn't going to be easy, but I knew it was the right path to find the healing that I needed. I am 43 years old. I married my boyfriend in 2001 and I continue to live in Germany, his country of birth. I have come a long way in a relatively short time. I did work as a mental health nurse; I now work as a freelance writer and English language teacher. I was suicidal; I now battle with depressive downswings from time to time, always winning because I know there is a future that includes me in it. Growing up, I had always believed myself to be a happy-go-lucky person – my cup was half-full. I can't complain about my upbringing; I suffered no more knocks than the next person. I learned to be philosophical about life. I believed that negative occurrences were challenges that would only help to strengthen me. For these reasons I thought I would make a good mental health nurse. I think I was good. My empathy evolved through hearing the heart-tugging histories of man- and womankind's frailties. It felt good to be therapeutic. I had a place in the scheme of things. It started to go wrong as I approached the age of 34. My life had not been without its hitches: broken engagement; broken marriage; broken hearts a-many! Not to mention all the gynaecological surgery owing to ovarian cysts: three major operations later I was left with one ovary, no fallopian tubes and my only hope of having a child being through IVF. I had already had two failed attempts with my ex-husband. I had coped with my difficulties by realising how lucky I was; trying to look on the bright side. That had been my way. I tried to help people who really had problems by going to work every day. I brushed aside my trivialities. It had worked for a while. As my birthday beckoned my mood sunk lower and lower. I overslept when off-duty. I had no energy. I berated myself for being a failure: for going through divorce, being childless, unloved – the usual self-flagellation. It took me a week's annual leave to get out of that downswing. That week I somehow found the strength to pull myself together and return to work. It worked for a while. A few months later, feeling great psychologically, the old physical problems reappeared – agonising stomach pain – and with it the need for major abdominal surgery number four. I had always returned to my nursing position after a six-week period. Three months' recuperation was the norm and what was advised. I planned not to do anything too physical, which in my charge nurse position was possible. The trouble was that on my return this fourth time, I had a never-ending backlog of paper work. I had also just moved house. My mood was beginning to wobble again. I required further sick leave; a month. My boss was supportive and a friend. Despite that, I didn't feel able to admit to being depressed. I implied my difficulties were more physical, related to the surgery and returning to work too quickly. My GP was happy to support me in this – collusion with my shame? I was a mental health nurse. Surely I could cope? I battered myself with these questions, self-doubt bashing my self-loathing. Rest and determination got me back to work again. I was fine for a while. Several months later I had a third attempt at IVF with my boyfriend of four years. Same outcome as ever – failure. Added to this, I was now 36 – over the hill, surely? How could a man want to be with empty-old me? He was 12 years younger. How did we stand a chance? How did I stand a chance of existence in this life without my soul's goal? I was surely doomed. Added to this, my boyfriend was German and had to return home to finish his studies. And added to this, my 54-year-old mother developed early-onset dementia – and she was already suffering from another debilitating condition. Nursing had always been an impossible equation. The usual ratio of four staff to twenty-five patients didn't divide well, especially when people were so psychologically needy – not to mention their physical needs, and the needs of their carers, and the paperwork, and the lack of appreciation, and so on. I decided that charity should begin at home. I would make sure that my one mother received the best possible care I could give – from me. I never returned to work and I don't regret it. This was to become the real beginning of my healing. I was able to help, support and care for my mother, despite my personal battle with depression. This sad stage in our lives had given me a direction I had lacked. As my mother's mobility deteriorated and I pushed her in her wheelchair, the irony of the situation struck home. No babies in prams for me! At this point I wouldn't have wished it any other way. My mainstay was my GP. He had listened to my outpourings with sympathy and understanding. He had offered antidepressants, but I had refused, believing that my depressive reaction was natural under the circumstances. I needed time and space to work things out and to be able to do the right thing by my mother. She was divorced and alone; I was her lifeline. I couldn't let her down, despite the fact our relationship had not always been so amiable. I was able to work through these difficulties with the help of my GP and supportive boyfriend and friends. An awakening to a new spiritual dimension began to open up. I read some books, starting with James Redfield's The Celestine Prophecy. It reached me in an amazing way. No drug could have done that, my GP agreed. He also had experienced stress-related problems; 'burn-out'. Through his self-disclosure I realised that there was no shame in being a mental health professional, suffering from my own personal madness. He referred me to a psychologist. I eventually had an appointment allocated. The psychologist referred me on to a nurse attached to an assisted conception unit, who was a cognitive behavioural therapist. I agreed with the psychologist that my resolution lay in coming to terms with my conception problems. Unfortunately, this cognitive behavioural therapy approach did not work for me. I wasn't prepared to see my sadness in any way other than how it was affecting me at that time – devastatingly. I was entitled to that. I moved to stay with my mother, and so I had to register with a new GP. He didn't think I was depressed. I was too coherent, too able to make sense of my own problems, too active and with no real physical difficulties – I was eating and sleeping fine. Both gave me a great deal of comfort. Why shouldn't I eat and sleep? He insisted I was fit for work. I consulted another GP and explained that I was going through the motions for my mother's sake. She seemed to understand. She listened to me as I was able to intellectualise the suicidal feelings that were never very far away. I was a mental health nurse, after all! Thank God I at least could understand myself, even if nobody else did. Yes, I was able to care for my mum: help to set up a community care package for her, make her laugh, take her shopping, out for lunch. Why not? She needed me; I wouldn't let her down. I was able to recognise that a seemingly negative situation was somehow going to lead to the best resolution for us both. Everything happens for a reason. I was on a new spiritual path of self-discovery. This path has continued to this day, even as I write these words. My mother died a year-and-a-half after her diagnosis. I know she felt loved and cherished. I did my best job to date in that. James Redfield (1993) The Celestine Prophecy: An Adventure, Warner Books.
Archived comments for The Future Includes Me
Rupe on 20-11-2006
The Future Includes Me
What I find most admirable about this piece is the calm lucidity, dignity - and even a certain understated humour - you bring to bear on a phase of life the pain and trauma of which are all too apparent.

The self-discipline of that approach is what makes this an impressive piece of writing. It brings it home to readers who've never suffered from depression, and related problems, that it could easily happen to them too, and it provides insight for those who are unfortunate enough to be going through the kinds of issues you describe.

Author's Reply:
Rupe, thank you - I very much appreciate your comments. It's a hard piece to look at now because this was written (during) kind of, and my fingers itch to change the tone a bit as it sounds matter-of-fact and perhaps a bit coldish (to me) but I think that represents the flatness I felt. Of course, it was written to share the experience and that's where its validity lies, and I'm certainly an evangelist about depression being a treatable condition (which is the hardest part to believe when you're in its claws). And although I haven't been a practising mental health nurse for a few years, I don't feel like I've ever stopped. ;o)



Thanks again.



Kat :o)

littleditty on 20-11-2006
The Future Includes Me
Dear Kat, it doesnt sound coldish at all - and doesnt leave the reader cold either - and Rupe explains why. i think a person who tried her best and succeeded, succeeds, in so much wrote this piece and i think she should resist changing a thing. Depression sucks, but if we can really understand it, it can bring gifts too, empathy and a deeper understanding of ourselves and others for starters, and all the good that can come from that, in our personal and family experiences, and our careers. One symptom, im sure is a wicked and wonderful sense of humour - thank goodness for that! The Life force, light, is strong isn't it, having people around who understand the horrors , terrors, and flatness of the darkness, so important - its only their positivity and humour that one can stomach when feeling bleak, because is it honest, fought for - you are a walking victory Ms Kat, well done :o) xxx

Author's Reply:
Oh dittyone, that's a super response and I thank you from the top of my bottom! :o) Yes, the life force, light (and love) is very strong indeed, and although at the time I didn't think I needed any more empathy (I felt quite chock-a-block already!), the 'challenge' makes you stronger and equips you for... the next battle. ;o) I wouldn't revisit or change any of the experiences I had because I've learnt so much and have been able to help people in my own wee way.

It was hard to press that submit button and share this but, that was the point in writing it in the first place... and self-disclosure is one of the greatest gifts you can give to another, especially when it is a bit bleak, because we're all ultimately very frail (and human) in our way(s).

Thank you again!

Kat x

SugarMama34 on 21-11-2006
The Future Includes Me
Hiya Kat,
What a heart-tugging story of reality you have given the reader. I can't even imagine half of how you felt with the operations and the feeling of solitude with the IVF treatment, You bring it across so well and tell it exactly how it is.
However I can and do understand the areas of depression you mentioned and the suicidal thoughts that creep in, as I, no doubt like many others have suffered with it, and still do. It is an uphill battle to try and defeat and with things that go wrong in people's life, some more than most, it can effect them badly, although they don't realise it at the time, until it's got hold.

Tragedies in life, do make us stronger, although we don't see it at that particular time, your are proof of this Kat, and your article will reach out and help others, and show them that it can be beaten with the right attitude and also help off others.
You are strong - never forget that Kat. I think you have fought well to get where you are now after the things you have gone through in your life - people who go through similar are born survivors - we are meant to fight. Only the strong survive and you are one of those.

A tender piece of writing that you should be so proud of writing, you have the ability to help others, not many can do what you have done.

Hugs,

Sugar.xx

Author's Reply:
Sugar, thank you very much for a truly lovely comment which I really appreciate. Yes, that depression stuff is very pervasive and can be a real albatross - I hope that you're well and happy now too, and judging by your input here and your output of writing, you're certainly doing all the right things. You're a great addition to UKA with the effort you put in to read and comment.

Thanks again!

Kat x

niece on 21-11-2006
The Future Includes Me
Kat,
You need a lot of courage to take something this personal and write about it like this...and I admire that courage of yours...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
niece, thank you for reading this and for commenting. Yes, it is very personal, but being honest doesn't scare me (much!). ;o)

Kat x

orangedream on 21-11-2006
The Future Includes Me
Dear Kat, I was so moved by this. As you know, my Mother too had early onset Alzheimer' at 54, like yours. She went on to live for another nine year's, more's the pity and spent her last two weeks in an old Victorian assylum at Tooting in West London. She died way back in 1983 and little was known, 9 years before that in the early seventies, about Alzheimer's. In fact, I read up on it and diagnosed it myself. Her doctor had never heard of it. I spent years trying to get some kind of help for my Dad in caring for her, but at the time, they were living in South London and I was in Kent with two small children. Two weeks before she passed away she was committed to a mental institution and died from a thrombosis caused by a terrible bruise on her leg. I don't know what they did to her in the short while she was with them, I can only imagine. But thank God her suffering didn't go on any longer. I only wish, in retrospect, that I could have done for her what you did for your mother but the guilt is something I have to live with.

More power to you Kat and I cannot think of a more worthy piece to be included in the anthology.

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much for your generous comments, Tina, though I'm not really sure about the anth. nom. as this is an article and perhaps not really suitable, but I'm very grateful and thankful to the person who pressed it.

You did brilliantly to make the diagnosis for your mother and it sounds like you did all you possibly could at the time, and within the framework of knowledge that was available then. Guilt is understandable, but not justified - the condition is so very sad for the nearest and dearest, and doing your best is all any of us can do, and going into 'care' is the only way for many, especially when family already have commitments, and no family member would ever want to feel like a burden, I'm sure, and the 'emotional cost' of caring can be expensive... not easy for a family member to do at all.

You certainly did your best, Tina, I'm quite sure of that, and you would have been a great support to your dad.

Thank you for taking the time with this - very much appreciated.

Kat x


flossieBee on 21-11-2006
The Future Includes Me
This is such an honest write Kat, and so moving to read. Your experiences have obviously left you with such a strength and directness in your writing.
fB

Author's Reply:
Hi flossie

Thank you for a great comment. Yes, life's too short and I think it can be good to cut to the chase, and it's so much better (and more fun) to focus on the positive and make sure that challenges are met with hammer, tongs, a large drink! ;o) and the will to do your best to prise them into a manageable chunk. Not always easy, but the rewards are worth it, I think.

Kat :o)

Abel on 21-11-2006
The Future Includes Me
Wonderfully written. I can personally relate to much of your struggle. You are a gifted writer, Miss Kat.

w

Author's Reply:
Ward, thank you very much for reading and leaving a comment. Your words are very touching. It's a funny ol' kind of taboo subject too - not being able to have children - and of course, affects both the potential mother *and* father. Just the other evening my husband met up with friends, one of whom announced that he and his wife were expecting their first child, and hubby then mentioned how it wasn't possible for us (it had never really come up in conversation before). And friends and family have been very understanding and supportive (we've found) - offering money etc for what is an expensive process if you need 'assisted conception'... but of course, it is the emotional cost more than anything, and there's much more to life than just procreation (once you get your head around the sadness) and change your goals/direction.

Thanks again, Ward.

Kat x

Gerry on 22-11-2006
The Future Includes Me
Kat, I read this earlier but have had problems leaving comments.
It seems to be working this time.

This was fascinating reading and I am pleased you were able to post it. Life is a hard grind sometimes isn't it?

Are you on 'Skype' if so I would be delighted to contact you.
If not have a look at it. It is a free and excellent method of communication...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

Thank you also for a very heartwarming comment - I really appreciate it. Yes, things can be hard-going at times, but none of us get away with an easy life, I don't think, eh? That's what living is about - the roller coaster ride, sometimes exhilarating and exciting, sometimes scary like there's no safety harness for the loop-the-loop, and the worst scenario is when sometimes it feels like gravity has been stolen too. ;o)

I do have access to Skype but don't use it or IM or anything like that - I'm a bit old-fashioned with email and snail mail. :o) Please feel free to contact me though at katschroeder@gmx.net - I'm free!

Thanks, Gerry.

Kat x


Wow (posted on: 06-11-06)
*snip* thanks, bluepootle!

I've told you my secret, my fathomless fear, and what do you do? You kiss the bikini line scar and punctuate it with your head between my legs. The only image I'll have of being crowned.
Archived comments for Wow
bluepootle on 06-11-2006
Wow
Wow - good title! Very strong. Not sure about 'blackest secret', I'd maybe remove the 'blackest' to keep this really terse, because it seems to me it works in the strength of the short, heavy images so close together.

Love the bikini line scar. Great detail.

Author's Reply:
Hi blue

I think you're right and may edit that - thank you! Cheers for reading.

Kat :o)

Gerry on 06-11-2006
Wow
You 'Mystics' get up -- or down to all sorts of things LOL...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Haha... we *do* get around, Gerry, that's for sure. Thanks for dropping in.

Kat x

e-griff on 06-11-2006
Wow
ahah! liked the 'crowned' bit - explained the scar! (and the secret) ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Hehe... I like it when you have an ahah moment in my thread, griffy. Thank you for reading.

Kat :o)

orangedream on 06-11-2006
Wow
Magnificent Kat!!

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Tina! I very much appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat x

Sunken on 07-11-2006
Wow
Ahem. Bloody hell Kat. You made me spew coffee over my lovely laptop. If it blows I'm blaming you. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he often blames girls



Author's Reply:
You again? Sunky, you gotta take responsibility for your own blowing. ;o) Hehe... I blame you for always making me laugh.

Kat x

petersjm on 07-11-2006
Wow
Hmmm. I don't get it. I *think* I know what it *could* be about, but I'm not sure. But no matter, whatever it is about, it reads well. But now I'm intrigued!

Author's Reply:
Hi pj

Lovely to see you! And because it's you, *whispers* the narrator can't have children - hope that helps or is what you thought. Thanks very much for reading and commenting.

Kat x

Bradene on 07-11-2006
Wow
I'm sure I get this Kat and if I'm right what a great idea for a poem, and done so beautifully too. FYI that last view of being crowned is much less painful to the one you are obviously lamenting ((-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

I hereby award you the 'mysticness' title. :o) Yes, I think you've got it. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Kat x

niece on 08-11-2006
Wow
Kat,
Beautiful...it's difficult not to admire your attitude...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

That's a lovely comment, thank you.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 08-11-2006
Wow
Amazing - you've crammed so much into this short piece...contrasting and conflicting ideas, too. I'd never have managed this without blathering on for ages and probably obscuring the point - well done indeed.

Author's Reply:
Haha, but that's what we love about you! ;o)

I really appreciate you readng and letting me know your thoughts, and the contrasting/conflicting ideas are key - thanks, Roy.

Kat x

Apolloneia on 08-11-2006
Wow
Hi Kat,
this comment is just the odd Greek visit of Mrs Apolloneia (again probably).

I want to say that I read your poem a day or two ago. It's very effective, so, well done!

Mrs A.
x

Author's Reply:
*grabs Mrs A's ankles* hey, great to see you, stay longer - post! :o) Thank you for letting me know it's effective - really really appreciated. All the best to you and your muse!

Kat x

Apolloneia on 09-11-2006
Wow
Okay Kat, I will post 2 very recent poems of mine. But first, I need an avatar. ;0)

Mrs A

x

Author's Reply:
Hehe, an avatar, but of course - happy shopping! ;o) Excellent about posting - I'll be in the crow's nest with my binocular.

Kat x

SugarMama34 on 11-11-2006
Wow
Hiya Kat,
A strongly worded poem, even though it's short, you bring the message across very well. A descriptive piece.

Hugs,

Sugar.xx

Author's Reply:
Hey, Sugar

Thank you for reading and commenting - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

littleditty on 12-11-2006
Wow
i think sometimes i am very dim Kat! i put my thinking cap on, and a few days later *ting* i like this one! The edit is great - xxxldx ๐Ÿ˜€

Author's Reply:
Hi ld, very sorry for the late reply - didn't realise there were any more comments here with the notifications on the blink. Thank you!

Kat x

royrodel on 12-11-2006
Wow
angry- but you know your power- queen kat

RODEL

Author's Reply:
Hi Rodel

Good to hear from you - not so much anger as amazement really - thank you for taking the time to comment.

Kat :o)

Abel on 14-11-2006
Wow
Loved it, Kat. Your usual high quality.


w

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much, Ward - sorry for the late reply.

Kat x


Queen 'O' (posted on: 06-11-06)
free-form ($100,000 dear browsers, just for clic...king on!) ;o)

Ms Oprah Winfrey, your neo-colonising ways make me mad/sad
Archived comments for Queen 'O'
Sunken on 07-11-2006
Queen O
You big liar (-: Where's my free form? $100,000 would do just nice. I need a new tree house and some pants.
You are a cheeky Kat and no mistake.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he likes having his bum smacked

Author's Reply:
*peers myopically at screen* You need a new wee house and some plants? For Unkle Munky? No probs - here's a green one from my Monopoly board and I've got some sunflower seeds (like them in my yogurt), would they do? And I'll throw in some free-form bum smacking for free... don't say Queen 'O' aint good to ya. ;o)

Sunky, you are the sunniest munky this side of the equator! Thanks for dropping buy with your nuts (both of them).

Kat x

Apolloneia on 08-11-2006
Queen O
I know a queen when I see one and she is not a queen.

King A.
(rofl)

Author's Reply:
King A, hello! I agree... she is not - I like your style... you're funny and you should stick around. :o)

Kat x

Apolloneia on 08-11-2006
Queen O
I have to ask: did my comment make any sense in English? My Greek is a little rusty, that's why I ask...

x

Author's Reply:
Your English meant more sense than your rusty Greek did, A! But then, my rusty Greek is very poor. ;o)

Kat x

len on 09-11-2006
Queen O
That Opra is one popular gal. I've been paying attention and she makes the cover of O Magazine month after month!!!...I just don't know how she does it..Do I get a new car NOW?????

Author's Reply:
Ha! Of course you do, Len - tell Queen 'O' I sent you. ;o) And why can't she let others be on the cover? She's all about me-me-me-me-me.

Kat :o)

Flash on 12-11-2006
Queen O
Hahahahahah

Old big O would fit in well, with some of the me me me me me characters we have here at good old UKA.

xxxxxxx
Flashy

Author's Reply:
Flashers, huge apologies, didn't realise there were any more comments here - thank you for taking the time, my friend.

Kat x


The Fascist Father (posted on: 03-11-06)
Thanks to littleditty for her boomeranging - always greatly appreciated! ;o)

He lives bubble-wrapped in a self-imposed straitjacket – a voluntary inpatient to the institute of conservatism, but he's no traditionalist. He's doing penance for his sins and the sins of his father, though we'd prefer he partook of this life. He's a bully and a weak man. His faults threaten to pop Richter scales as his undermining utterances spike. Impaled with his tremors we hear why can't you be more like them? Our blond-haired, blue-eyed cousins. He was ashamed of our shyness which meekly reflected his reserve. There is something sexual in his hatred of things beyond his blinkered, handcuffed, realm. He fucks his own mind first, then splutters eruptions of vile bile – he's bleak, always bleak. When he (dutifully) pretends to care, we despair at the way he deceives himself - his lip-service lost amongst loud, past sentences whose volume we can't turn down. He's not the kind of man to lie on his back in the grass watching for shooting stars. So why should we suspend the truth and bend over, to make him the father he isn't.
Archived comments for The Fascist Father
Gerry on 03-11-2006
The Fascist Father
Mystic Kat--well nothing to say really ๐Ÿ˜‰ you seem to have it wrapped up tightly...

Gerry xxx.



Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

Thank you for reading - much appreciated. :o) I look forward to catching up with your post later.

Kat x

Sunken on 04-11-2006
The Fascist Father
Oh yes. What a fantastical ending Ms. Kat. You are cleverer than my mate Barry. He can wear anything he likes without looking stupid. Last week he wore a pink tu-tu and still pulled. This doesn't help does it? It's good to hear the Kat roar. Top stuff.

s
u
n
k
e
n

doesn't trust people in ear muffs

Author's Reply:
Like the sound of your mate, Sunky... hehe... thank you very much for taking the time to drop in - it's always a humorous experience.

Kat x

orangedream on 04-11-2006
The Fascist Father
Great stuff Kat! Love the lines:-

"He's not the kind of man to lie on his back in the grass
watching for shooting stars"

Magic!

I've known lots of people like that and yes, it is a pity, that some people at any rate, don't come complete with a volume control knob.

warmest regards
Tina x

Author's Reply:
I'm chuckling at your comment, Tina. :o) Thank you very much for reading and commenting and I look forward to catching up with your subs.

Kat x

Zoya on 04-11-2006
The Fascist Father
Dear Kat, There is an excellent critique of the man, along with a strange pathos about him that usually accompanies such people caught in their own web of set habits, ideas and obsessive notions. Their weakness and cowardice, taken out on their near and dear ones, is most painful for those who live with him and willy nilly suffer him... As they say India, every dog is a lion in his own den...lol
(((Hugs for that incisive character assessment of an autocratic father)))
Love,
Zoya


Author's Reply:
Thanks, Zoya - that's a great comment. Of course, this 'Father' is a bit of a caricature with bits and pieces from various people (and times), from the present day to the more obvious (infamous) fascist figures. Thanks again!

Kat x

SugarMama34 on 05-11-2006
The Fascist Father
Hiya Kat,
I found this really interesting to read, I loved the wording in this. It doesn't sound bitter, just an apt description of a man a child despises inwardly, instead of looking up too.
I know of a man like this, thankfully he 's not blood related but I wish he had a volume button and a "send me off to a vile and far away place" button but unfortunatley he has neither.
You have painted a very visual and descriptive poem and it works, great write.

Hugs,

Sugar. xx

Author's Reply:
Sugar, many thanks, I really appreciate the read and your comments. It's good to see such a cheery person around the place (not that there aren't many others!), lol. But, like Fascist Fathers, there are enough people in this life who want to suck all the blood and optimism out of you with their 'undermining utterances', like greedy (and often bitter, envious and jealous) vampires. *dusts hands* Yep, I feel better now for getting that off my chest! ;o)

Kat x

niece on 05-11-2006
The Fascist Father
Kat,
Your poem can remain in one's head for quite sometime...in a kind of replay mode...It works the same way here...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
niece, thank you for taking the time to let me know your thoughts - it's always good to see you've popped in. Much appreciated.

Kat x

littleditty on 05-11-2006
The Fascist Father
Hi Kat - Scary portrait which you have, in all ways, hit the nail on the head, so i can't pick a favourite bit - i shall just make sure to watch shooting stars as often as possible, and encourage everyone i meet to do likewise! The characteristics you have drawn in your original way, are common, symptoms of something and something missing <----that's vague isn't it!!! - accute cases are a lost cause, because love, falling in love and facing a whole heap of things may be most of the cure - and F.F types like you've illustrated, are unlikely to be able to! Sad really -and you have generous lines in your poem for that. Liked the family setting for this personality portrait - yet another good one Kat-on-a-roll! xxldx

Author's Reply:
ld, it's always a pleasure to read your wonderful and insightful comments and know that you've made a huge effort to meet the author's intention - you're a great reader! :o) For that alone... a party pack of twiglets? I don't share them readily, you know. ;o)

I've swapped two words around in the first stanza now - nothing major: the 'though' with the 'but' as the former was grating a little.

Thank you very much, dittyfriend!

Kat x

littleditty on 05-11-2006
The Fascist Father
Twiglets? Party-pack? I've scored BIG TIME ๐Ÿ˜€ - too generous you are tho' as no 'huge effort' needed to read this - it is so clear - i wrote one called 'People of the Lie' which was completely unclear! I have lost it i think, will hunt, you have nudged me to have another go with it. Back to say i forgot to ask about 'outwith' -dont understand this Kat - i need to use my phone a friend lifeline here i guess ๐Ÿ˜ฎ xxldx

Author's Reply:
Good to see you back, and you carry that query so jauntily in your twiglet free hand. ;o)

'outwith' - ? do you think a different word would be better? Is it too archaic-sounding or something? In context of the line(s) I just mean that things outside of his outlook/way of life, he doesn't understand or want to understand, like a blinkered horse with tunnel vision? I'll look at it again in case it's unclear or jarring.

Would love to see your 'People of the Lie' poem (? again) - hope you find it - losing *your* poems? Isn't that treason against the madding crowd? ;o) *banishes twiglets*

Thank you for taking the time, ld - much appreciated.

Kat x

littleditty on 06-11-2006
The Fascist Father
I didnt know the word, knew what you meant though - so maybe it doesnt matter - i thought it was a 'Katism' - 'without' - can't think of another word to go there, without wont quite do it, and as i now have no twiglets i shall jauntily wander off and think about it,with a lightly salted Dorito, family pack actually -and marmite in the fridge, so pfff to your banishing....pfff i say ๐Ÿ˜€ xxldx

Author's Reply:
I'm laughing (in a nice way)... thank you for coming (and going) again, ld. I've just checked 'outwith' in my trusty Chambers and it appears to have Scottish roots - so maybe that's the thing - I'll keep it for noo then. ;o) *checks under the carpet for a moose loose aboot this hoose*

Oh, please don't pfff... I was only joking about the twiglets (in the first place!). ;o) I'll leave 'outwith' for now then, forthwith!

Could I send you a wee DVD or something? Did you ever see 'Sylvia' with Gwyneth Paltry(ow) & Daniel Craig... B(l)ond... James B(l)ond?

Kat x

littleditty on 06-11-2006
The Fascist Father
i started to watch it and had to go out -looked like a good one ... I thought of 'beyond' - nice bit of alliteration as a tempter? xxldx

Author's Reply:
She's done it! Yes, ld, I think you've got it there... and the 'b' word would balance out and maybe emphasie the others too, like 'bully'? Or am I expecting too much from it... I'm off to change outwith forthwith! Thank you very much! And I'm serious about sending the DVD if you'd like - just email with your address, OK?

Kat x


Proving Plato (posted on: 30-10-06)
I don't feel an iota of guilt about last night

The rain tattoos against the windows of Heathrow airport – the mercury-coloured wet needles bring a smile to my face. There is a finiteness to nature that I love – no wishy-washy human emotions.    The man with the laptop perched on his thighs smiles at me and I dip my head back to the postcard I'm writing to Hugh: Hi Shugs Just a few lines to say I'm missing you and can't wait to see you again at the weekend. Don't forget that Kirsty'll need a lift to karate on Thursday – Sapphire's mum will drop her home afterwards. My presentation went well and I've been asked to go back next year for the annual conference. Flight to Belfast is on time – boarding in ten! Hope you're coping without me - haha - love you billions!!!!!                                 Linda xxx I slip the Van Gogh Sunflowers card in the see-through letterbox and watch it belly-flop onto the hieroglyphics. I don't feel an iota of guilt about last night. I have to make the seat belt bigger – crikey – middle age and all that. I ask for a slimline tonic with my gin and settle down to replay.      It must have been twenty years or so since I'd last seen Gordon. How weird was that - that we should be checking in to the same hotel at the same time. He looked great – all confidence and gay repartee (had the receptionist in fits in no time). It was really good to see him, and Covent Garden was a place to delight in with a ballet of at least two people.    And he certainly gave a theatrical performance.      I was a bit drunk. We shared a bottle of claret in the restaurant and a brandy back at the hotel lounge – then another in his room. He craned down to the mini-bar, freckly wrists sticking out of his white shirt and I remembered the first time I went to bed with them - his freckles. I remembered how cramped it was in my single bed in the halls of residence – how his feet poked out from under the faded brown duvet – how his feet clanked against the radiator the first time he, well, you know…      He came to sit beside me on the bed - I could smell his aftershave (Davidoff?) - and as he handed me my glass I could see a tarantula of chest hair attempting to flee as he loosened his amber tie. Amber… was I going to be able to stop?      How we'd laughed – about our first date at a Hall and Oates concert – how his red (shy) face had clashed with his crimson shirt which winged its way across the lapels of his denim jacket. How we'd roared (when he slipped his socks off) that his hen toes were still hen-toe-like and his bandy legs still couldn't stop a pig in a close (when he took his trousers off). How we giggled, just like we used to at uni, until our neighbour chapped on the wall and we muffled our hilarity in the pillow. He reminded me how him and his friend called me 'the squaw' until he got my name from my pal in his history tutorial. He asked if I still made spag bol with corned beef and cheesecake out of boxes – not literally, of course.      I became almost sober when he helped me out of my lilac blouse, praying that he wouldn't think I looked fat after all these years, glad of the uplift my Wonderbra gave and breathing in until he got up to use the bathroom.      It was bliss to feel his fingers trace the hairline at the side of my head (which he'd always loved) as we lay in our underwear like teenagers. It had felt wonderful to chat about the decades since I'd cancelled our wedding arrangements, to say the things I'd never been mature enough to say then. To realise that although he loved his wife and three sons (to bits) he had a curve of his heart with my name looped around it still. I ran my hand up and down his sun-freckled arm and remembered the warmth of his love, the sincerity of it, and how hard it had been to throw away the surety of it. But we'd become like old-timers before our time – matching cardigans and nights in to watch Cheers on Fridays instead of living – it had seemed too predictable, too settled for a pre-marital state. I knew I was taking a chance on hopes and dreams – perhaps I should have tried to re-stoke the embers of passion? When I left - it hurt - too much. The plane shudders along the runway. I peer through the window - it's raining in Belfast too. I stare into the dark eyes of my reflection - philosophising - and cherishing my secret memory of framing the past.     
Archived comments for Proving Plato
Rupe on 30-10-2006
Proving Plato
I like the clarity of your writing and the use it makes of apparently incidental detail (spag bol with corned beef), witty asides (bandy legs - pig in a close), and tangential methods of description (to bed with the freckles) - all of which adds colour - and warmth - to the sketch.

The piece seemed to leave a lot of questions unanswered though. What is going to happen next? Why didn't she feel any guilt (or, seemingly, anything except nostalgia), given that both parties appear to be involved with others, and there's clearly a lot of baggage and history here? One might expect some degree of mixed feelings.



Author's Reply:
Hi Rupe

Thank you very much for reading and commenting - much appreciated.

Yes, I would agree that there are perhaps some unanswered questions, but I think the clues are there (I hope) and I wanted to make things a bit ambiguous. And the guilt question is kind of key - what did she actually do or do wrong? Did she have sex? Should she feel guilty about enjoying a 'ships passing in the night kind of scenario' if nothing happened? Admittedly, not the kind of thing you could easily tell your partner about either.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

thehaven on 30-10-2006
Proving Plato
This is a strong piece imo. A simple but effective tale .

Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Mike! I look forward to catching up with your work later, and I really appreciate you reading.

Kat :o)

Ginger on 30-10-2006
Proving Plato
This seemed longer than flash fiction, but left me wanting more. Like Rupe said, lots of detail woven in to wonderful effect.
Cheers,
Lisa

Author's Reply:
Lisa, many thanks! I really appreciate you taking the time to read. I see you are doing the UKAWANIAY and I wish you lots of luck with that.

Cheers

Kat x

niece on 01-11-2006
Proving Plato
Kat,
Beautifully written...loved the way the past and present have been blent...Good work! And loved that last one all-powerful line...
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much, niece! I really appreciate you taking the time to read - hope all's going well with your UKAWANIAY!

Kat x

RoyBateman on 01-11-2006
Proving Plato
Ooh, you minx you. Disgraceful, I call it. That or lucky...apart from that, this was a reflective and well-written picture in words that really conjured up the atmosphere. Just long enough, too, for its subject - in short, a great all-round read!

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Mr Roy! *said in Basil Brush voice* Now where are my jelly babies? ;o) I very much appreciate the read and comment.

Kat :o)

Ionicus on 01-11-2006
Proving Plato
I normally skip prose and stumbled upon this piece mistakenly thinking that Kat only wrote poetry.
I am glad of my error as I would otherwise have missed this brilliant tale.
As you say there is some ambiguity as to what really happened between the two but you give a clue when you write:

'perhaps I should have tried to re-stoke the embers of passion? When I left - it hurt - too much.'

This suggests to me that she only committed adultery in her mind.
Silly to let the chance slip by, methinks.

Luigi x



Author's Reply:
Sherlock, I'm impressed. ;o)

Yes, there are a few clues and the title is meant to steer them too. I think it would have been a different outcome for Linda if her marriage wasn't so good and likewise with Gordon, and it's certainly possible to love and maybe fancy someone else within those contexts too... and yes, they could have (easily) gone 'all the way,' so to speak. I think I wanted to consider that greyish area of how we're not meant to have feelings anymore for exes (and sometimes we don't!) at least not good ones, but I wanted to think about when a 'rational' decision is made, an 'intellectual' one in the sense that you've thought long and hard, and why then throw away the 'hopes and dreams' the character has found with her husband - and also - the intimacy of their meeting/reminiscing may have constituted grounds for 'being very miffed' on the part of both their partners all the same.

Sorry to warble on, and this is such a short piece, but these were some of the thoughts that instigated the piece. Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment, Luigi!

Kat x

reckless on 01-11-2006
Proving Plato
Lovely sad nostalgic tale. Sometimes a past love stays with you forever.

Author's Reply:
Yes, I think indeed they do, reckless... thanks very much for reading and commenting.

Kat :o)

Flash on 02-11-2006
Proving Plato
Hi Kattykins

Again your poetry talent comes to the fore here, so economical and spare with words, yet the right words to make this a fulfilling and fascinating read.

A lovely story, beautifully presented. PottyDotty and your good self might prove to be masters of the Flash fiction genre.

Perhaps because the theme has been visited many times, has counted against it being nibbed... i don't know. I do know it's very well written and stands up well against other nibbed pieces.

What about an audio or two , for some of your work.

Well diddly done.

xxxxxxxxxx
Flashy

Author's Reply:
Flash, will you be my agent? ;o)



I really appreciate your support and encouragement (really really). I think the theme, yes, is common enough, but hoped to give a slightly different angle and well... what might happen when two people with 'apparent' integrity get together and are attracted to each other still. It's easy to live in the present and give in to lust... it's not so easy not to. This is what I was trying to consider.



Audios? I'm too shy of my voice - I could stand up and do it in public (and have)... fully-clothed as well. ;o) But I hate the sound of my own voice... maybe I'll try with a small poem some time. *flicks through haiku*



PottyDotty is darn good, oh yes!



Thanks, Flashy!



Katkins x




discopants on 02-11-2006
Proving Plato
I think it's all the stronger for not having the characters consummate their reunion. It struck me that you used the senses particularly well- plenty of remembered smells, sights, sounds etc.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, disco - I'm pleased you think so.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Bradene on 05-11-2006
Proving Plato
Almost missed this Kat, so pleased It caught my eye. Lovely poignant piece beautifully written as per. Absolutely agree with Disco about the ending too. Wonderful write. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Val-friend! I'm pleased if this has come across as to my intention - I really recommend these flash-sized bites for practising the ol' prose skills - now, my problem is... can I give my writing legs? *looks through rattlebag*

Kat x


Walk/Don't Walk (posted on: 27-10-06)
~

I've heard a lot about you like a cousin I've never met. As I sit now in your lap, I'm struck by your face and what you say. Walk/don't walk. You contour beautifully: deep cut gorges, spectacular coastlines, noble slopes. You smell of everything and everyone. I can eat like a Jedi or suck sustenance from the gutter. Walk/don't walk. You ask How are ya? And tell me Have a nice day! But I can feel the dampening of freedom. If I squeezed you would you ooze the truth? Brothers and sisters file past walking/not walking. I've heard you laugh and talk, your optimism gushes like a tap; your belief in dreams coming true unless you're pushing the trolley laden with bags along the walk of pain – you walk and walk. You can sparkle in the sun or shiver in the shadow. Your teeth can be whiter, your smile wider but why not break the trance and simply dance. Don't walk.
Archived comments for Walk/Don't Walk
Sunken on 28-10-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
There is a deeper meaning to this Kat, a meaning that will probably be lost on someone as shallow as myself. It certainly deserves more attention though. I shall give it a big hug until a better proposition comes along. As you're not accepting ratings, would you consider a Kit Kat... Kat?

s
u
n
k
e
n

raised on a diet of chewing gum

Author's Reply:
A Munky hug and a Kit Kat? Lovely, and thank you very much, Mr Sunky!

Kat x

reckless on 28-10-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Quite intensely written, and resonant of misdirected energies. Don't know wat he intention was, but it reminds me of America, and how seemingly wrong their country has gone at times.

Author's Reply:
Cheers, reckless - yes, you've picked that up well - misdirected energies/ethos - it's all very well when you're an able and functioning member of society etc...

I wrote this a couple of years ago when hubbie and I stayed in Pasadena, LA for 6 months. We had a great time and met lots of wonderful people, but this is how the experience kind of struck me too. We'll be heading to America again next year to live for a couple of years or so - I'll continue my research! ;o) Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Kat :o)

Bradene on 28-10-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Wow! Kat now I read Reckless's remarks the meaning does kind of leap out at you! I have read this over and over but could not get a handle on it. It's one hell of a clever poem once the meaning becomes clear. I wish I had such insight and the skill to interpret it let alone write it ((-;

Author's Reply:
Val, you make me smile, thank you! It's always great and very encouraging to read your comments - thank you for taking the time.

Kat x

niece on 29-10-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Kat,
Lovely...! Now I shall dance...:)

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Haha... delighted about that, niece! Thank you for reading.

Kat x

orangedream on 29-10-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Left me pondering too Kat. Fantastic poem though and once I read Reckless it all became clear. Knew it was a metaphor for something but couldn't put my finger on it. Should have done with the title though, shouldn't I? Nice work.

Regards
Tina x


Author's Reply:
Thanks, Tina! I was worried this didn't have any subtlety at all - but I knew what I meant. lol I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 29-10-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Well, what a relief - it had struck me what the theme was by verse three...I thought, and luckily I was right. Does only the US have those signs telling pedestrians what to do? Well done, Kat - very subtly written. I hope your next visit (I've never been, gnash, gnash,) produces further stuff as good as this!

Author's Reply:
Thanks very much for reading and commenting, Roy. I loved my time there as I could join in with local English language writing groups (which I can't really here in Germany) and people were so friendly and welcoming. The funny thing was that I found I wrote 'situationally' when I was there, ie, my scenery was Californian etc... just became an automatic thing when I did free-style exercises or speed writing. Thanks again!

Kat :o)

Zoya on 29-10-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Very cleverly written and a good amount of observation on the surroundings, and quite a lot of thought seems to have gone into writing of this piece...
Love it!
(((Hugs)))
Love,
Zoya


Author's Reply:
Thank you, Zoya, and hugs right back at ya!

Kat x

littleditty on 29-10-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
i didn't know what it was about and was intrigued because of those Kat type original lines - Jedi - still couldn't figure it - read comments so i am *sniffs* missing that feeling when it dawns on me, damn it! ๐Ÿ™ So after feeling a bit stoopid, i think its a really good one! ๐Ÿ˜€ You have described some of the feeling i had on my first visit, cousins(grandkids!)/dampening down/optimism/ and American Dream - white teeth ( in South America, there are many Jesus billboards with very white smiley teeth, which i always thought looked like toothpaste ads!) Liked the descriptive 2nd very much. Did want to add a few more clues for the dim witted me - 'sidewalk' in the last but one? Absent face, first ?- ok this is a bit mysterious - howsabout a huge american flag waving pompom shaking cheerleading troupe, yelling 'ditty, you fool -its about america north' ? Only suggestions, because i think its brill, i shouldnt have read the comments and kept puzzling! Nice one Kat xxdittyone x

Author's Reply:
ld, you make me laugh, in a very nice way! :o) Thank you for taking the time to ponder over this one a bit - and there was me thinking this was *so* (perhaps too) obvious... which is why it's great to post here and get the great and helpful feedback.

Your idea re the penultimate stanza is a good one, but the 'walk of pain' here is meant to be a kind of pun on the 'walk of fame' in Hollywood. But, it's worth a Ritz cracker with a squidge of Primula (ham-flavoured?) on the top. ;o)

Ditty, thank you for encouraging me so much!

Kat x

Dazza on 01-11-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Funny you wrote this in California where it is hard work trying to walk anywhere in the cities! Can't walk! (Won't walk). Great piece, Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Haha... and you're right there, Dazzling Dazza! My routine walk was from our apartment in Pasadena along to Old Town Pasadena (and back) and the Walk/Don't Walk signs were a constant en route. Having to go 'everywhere' by car was a huge downside of the lifestyle there (for me), and being stuck in crawling traffic. I love walking and being able to get from A-B-Z without a car or public transport would suit me fine. *leafs through small island directory/does lottery*

Thank you for dropping by - always lovely to see you.

Kat :o)

Gerry on 02-11-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Kat, I am just back in England and trying to catch up. It's amazing what happens in two weeks ๐Ÿ˜‰
I twigged this poem from the title--very clever and well written...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Gerry, and great to see you again! You were in Scotland, weren't you? Hoots mon!

Kat :o)

shackleton on 03-11-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Oh yes, Kat...

In manhattan's desert twilight
In the death of afternoon
We stepped hand in hand on broadway
Like the first men on the moon

And a blackbird broke the silence
As he whistled it so sweet
And in brendan behan's footsteps
I danced up and down the street

Then we said goodnight to broadway
Giving it our best regards
Tipped our hats to mister cohen
Dear old times squares favorite bard

Then we raised a glass to JFK
And a dozen more besides
When I got back to my empty room
I suppose I must have cried

...the kat can write a verse or two. Take care, young Kat.



Author's Reply:
Shacks, that's beautiful and what fantastic rhythm - loved reading it. Many thanks for your comments, my friend.

Kat x

shackleton on 04-11-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
Hi Kat. I just wanted to clarify that the lyrics I posted are not by me - they're from the song, 'Thousands Are Sailing' by The Pogues. The lyrics are some of the most moving that I've ever read/listened to. Your poem reminded me of the song. I love your poem - very insightfu. Bye for now.

Author's Reply:
Aha... well, beautiful lyrics indeed - I'm partial to The Pogues myself, in fact, have just looked out 'The Best of the Pogues' with said song - will stick it on for a wee listen - it's been a few years since the last time.

On of my favourites of theirs is 'The Fairytale of New York' with Kirsty MacColl - you can't quite beat lyrics like:

'You scum bag
You maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God
It's our last.'

Hehe - dulcet, or what?

Kat x

shackleton on 04-11-2006
Walk/Dont Walk
ps. Guess what I've just done? Couldn't help meself.

Author's Reply:
...attended to your winter beds? ;o)

shacks, many thanks if you did the nommy - very much appreciated as I was never so sure about this poem and edited it recently before posting. Hope the weekend's treating you well!

Kat x


Our Boat (posted on: 23-10-06)
Edited with thanks to the e-griff literary consultancy (his rates are very good). ;o)

We clamber aboard Petra, reverse, then scoot out onto the tantalising lake. A trinity of islands spear like tip top topiary which our boat weaves through as if a fibre-glass loom. I stretch and lie topless - bake in the brawny sun. I'm happy to leave the mainland on the horizon. Our boat drifts and you dive naked into the blue. The nautical escapade washes us of the grey dust that comes from living with the rest of the world. I track the sky as planes do, searching for a trace of hope - that our boat will weather as if it was an ark.
Archived comments for Our Boat
scotch on 23-10-2006
Our Boat
hello i like this i wondered if you could add "forgotten" on the horizon?... best wishes scotch

Author's Reply:
scotch, thanks for reading and your suggestion is a good one which I may well use - perhaps this was a bit too bare without it?

Kat :o)

e-griff on 23-10-2006
Our Boat
I mostly liked this a lot.

too be very picky if you feel like a crit:
-I wondered about the repeated 'like' in the second verse.
looms don't 'weave through' things - shuttles in looms do.
-didn't understand 'brawning'
I think it would be more fitting for the tone of the poem to use the word 'naked' (no brackets) instead of (starkers) - after all this is a poetic evocation of a mood/scene, not a matey jokey outing - it comes across as an author intrusion.
- I also found the '... dust from living ...' incomplete in description - a bit too 'shorthand' for me (what you are actually saying is '...dust that comes from living ...' or similar).

And the verb 'to weather' should have an object (a storm etc) I mean a word like 'survive' would do, or more poetically, 'prevail'

If this seems a lot of picks, it's not really. I went over it thoroughly because I liked it very much .. if that makes sense.





Author's Reply:
griffy, many thanks for your crit which I appreciate very much and (as per) much of it makes a lot of sense and I will use some of your suggestions:

~ the repeated 'like' irked me a little too - perhaps I'll go with 'as'.
~ a loom is a machine for weaving so I'm happy to keep that as the boat is dodging/weaving/veering and works (perhaps at a stretch?), I think
~ 'brawning' might be best as 'brawny' - to suggest the power/muscle of the sun - just wanted to use something different
~ I think you're right about 'naked' being better (without brackets) too
~ I see what you mean about the 'dust from living' bit, and though I like its sparcity, I think you are right about needing a bit more too (your suggestion makes good sense)
~ 'weather' has the object of the simile, non? ;o) I do prefer its use here and think I'll keep it (for now)

Not a lot of picks at all, but a lot of very helpful pointers. It's great to have an objective pair of eyes scouring your work, and you've made some super suggestions. Thank you very much!

Kat x

orangedream on 23-10-2006
Our Boat
I was just there on that boat, Kat. Beautiful poem.

kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Tina! Much appreciated.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 24-10-2006
Our Boat
A lovely sunny picture you paint here - very Mediterranean. You'd better be careful going topless, though, what with all these perverts with binoculars about. Now, where did I put mine....

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

Great to see you and many thanks for commenting! I look forward to catching up with your latest.

Kat :o)

narcissa on 24-10-2006
Our Boat
This piece just gets better and better as it goes on! "I track the sky as planes do" - wow! and then straight on to that final stunning couplet.

You've achieved so much in a very small poem. This is vivid and alive and beautiful.
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Laura, thank you! Your enthusiastic comments are very encouraging and much appreciated. I hope you're posting some of your own work again soon.

Kat :o)

Bradene on 26-10-2006
Our Boat
Cricky Kat you are on form, this is splendid, Such lovely images there. Especially these two stanzas:-

A trinity of islands spear
like tip top topiary which
our boat weaves through
as if a fibre-glass loom.

I stretch and lie topless -
bake in the brawny sun.
Iโ€™m happy to leave the mainland
on the horizon.
Our boat drifts and you dive
naked into the blue.

Great stuff Just needs a nib to put the final touches to it(((-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Great to see that you've dropped by here too - many thanks - and thanks for pointing out the stanzas you particularly liked.

Kat x

Zoya on 26-10-2006
Our Boat
"The nautical escapade
washes us of the grey dust that comes
from living with the rest of the world."

These lines are so real and yet poetic.
The last two lines also work very well for me.
Thanks for sharing Kat.
((Hugs))
Love,
Zoya


Author's Reply:
Thank you, Zoya - I really appreciate your comments.

Kat x

littleditty on 27-10-2006
Our Boat
Hi Kat โ€“ I like this one โ€“ how it appears light, โ€˜our boat driftsโ€™ but is full of image metaphor- liked โ€˜trinityโ€ฆweaveโ€ฆloomโ€ฆbrawny sunโ€ฆโ€™ and liked the words of time and movement too. Fav bit because that is what it is like sailing away or diving in: โ€˜The nautical escape washes us of the grey dust that comes from living with the rest of the worldโ€™ And I wondered about โ€˜as if it was an arkโ€™ โ€“> were an ark? Is that too formal sounding? It sounds smoother though, so, I hope a *pickle* for you, lol, but you have probably thought about that already โ€“ good read Kat :o) enjoyed xxldx

Author's Reply:
Hi dittyone

Great and helpful comments from you, as always - thank you! I like your suggestion of 'were' which I hadn't thought of as I would mostly use 'was', but your idea is definitely smoother and might even be worth a sausage on a stick (added bonus to the pickle). :o) I'm going to mull, and when I'm back, I may well change to your suggestion. Thank you for taking the time!

Kat x


From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing (posted on: 20-10-06)
Edited with grateful thanks to the helpful comments received, especially from Michel

The opera singer sends his tenor into the neighbourhood. The four month old cries her vibrato in bleating arias. The autumn sun sits smug - a tangerine beauty - and as Tosca is tossed over the rooftops, I peg the scene.
Archived comments for From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Zoya on 20-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
What a lovely juxtaposition of art with the mundane!
Reminds me of an expressionist painting, with clothes-hangings making shapes akin to that of humans...
Thanks for sharing this unique interesting piece.
love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya

Thank you for a very encouraging comment - I appreciate your time.

Kat :o)

wfgray on 20-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Hi Kst. Juxtaposition! I don't know if it works side by side with the cries of the four year old's vivratos. Still it is nice to read something different and to be able to make a coherent comment. WIll

Author's Reply:

wfgray on 20-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Hi Kst. Juxtaposition! I don't know if it works side by side with the cries of the four year old's vivratos. Still it is nice to read something different and to be able to make a coherent comment. WIll

Author's Reply:

wfgray on 20-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Hi Kst. Juxtaposition! I don't know if it works side by side with the cries of the four year old's vivratos. Still it is nice to read something different and to be able to make a coherent comment. WIll

Author's Reply:

wfgray on 20-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Hi Kst. Juxtaposition! I don't know if it works side by side with the cries of the four year old's vivratos. Still it is nice to read something different and to be able to make a coherent comment. WIll

Author's Reply:
Appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment, Will - many thanks!

Kat :o)

orangedream on 21-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
They say 'small is beautiful' - how right they are! I love the sound of the line 'as Tosca is tossed over the rooftops. Poetry at its best.

Cheers Kat
:-)Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Tina! I was a bit unsure about this but I feel much more reassured by the lovely comments. Hope you're having a good weekend.

Kat x

littleditty on 21-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
yes - it's great line and a warm, fluttering picture (except of course if the kid is called Tosca and i've read it all wrong ;))*apologises* *giggles*) I like 'i peg the scene... - you certainly have, and it reminded me of balconies and Italy, Brazil too - really good snapshot Kat xxldx

Author's Reply:
ditty one, you rascal! *guffaws* A kid called Tosca indeed... hehe. Thank you for reading my little ditty, littleditty... yes, Italy and Brazil, that works nicely too, and this was really what happened when I hung out the washing in the week - had to stop mid-peg while I made quick (very quick in view of the length of this!) notes, but there is an opera singer in the building at the back of us... and yes, the bleating bairn too (in our building). The lamb chop.

Delighted you popped in - hope you've got a fun packed weekend.

Kat x

Flash on 22-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Old Italian New York was my image, or perhaps Naples or another of the great Italian cities of the south.

Brilliant captured snapshot, reminded me of one Woodbine's recent pieces.

Like a lot of your work a great deal Kitten.Keep on top form won't you?

xxxxxx
Flashy

Author's Reply:
Yikes! There's been a Flash-attack on my poetry! ;o) I really appreciate you taking the itme to read and comment on it - very much. Thanks, Flashy.

Kat x

spongemonkey on 22-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing


Kat I think you have enough comments but since it's you, I'll comment anyway. You greedy meow. I don't like opera but your poem has perhaps changed my mind. Very colorful and arty farty.

Author's Reply:
Greedy meow? *gasps* ;o) Cheers, Spongy - really appreciate you commenting... yup... there's nowt as arty farty as hanging out the ol' washing. Hehe.

Kat :o)

Sunken on 22-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Kat, I just realised that you are a proper poet and that I should attempt to comment on your work more seriously... God, no! Thats hurting. I like your poem more than toblerone. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

crap at woodwork

Author's Reply:
More than toblerone? Now that is a serious comment indeed, Munky Sunky. :o) I love toblerones, but just the mini ones that my wee mouth can get around easily... hehe. Always lovely to see you with your big dollops of humour.

Kat x

woodbine on 23-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Hi Kat,
Fine descriptive writing reminds of Bicycle Thief and Italian Neo Realist black and white cinema just after the war. You wouldn't get away with that last line in my poetry class, they jump on anything anthropomorphic as old fashioned. But poetry classes are lot rougher than UKA.
All the best,
John XX

Author's Reply:
Hi John

Great to see you! A tendency to anthropomorphise (? a word) is something I think I'm very guilty of *dons that cap*. Your poetry class sounds like one to keep you on your toes (and me!). ;o) Maybe I'm being post post modern? *clutches straws*

Many thanks for reading and commenting and I'm now going to be on the alert. :o)

Cheers

Kat x

Michel on 24-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing

Really wonderfully vivid and clear!
However, I think it would read far better without the last line, which is vague (inkling and dream) and riffs on the scene, and dances like Shirley Temple killing Tosca.

Author's Reply:
Hi Michel

What a great comment - thank you! (I'm laughing at the mention of ST killing T!) I am going to revisit this last line which is getting the ol' thumbs down a bit - I appreciate your thoughts very much.

Kat :o)

Ionicus on 24-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Dear kitten. Unlike sunken I have have always known that you are a proper poet.
I can see the scene very clearly in my mind: a stream of bedsheets and underwear hanging on a Neapolitan balcony while the father is belting out an aria while shaving in the bathroom.
Another near-perfect vignette, and I say near because I agree with Michael that the last line needs refining.

Love, Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

Lovely to see you, my friend. Thank you for your delightful comments - loved the scene you saw! I think I am of the opinion now to do away with the last line as Michel has suggested.

Cheers

Kat x

littleditty on 24-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
I peg the scene, inking the sky with their notes?(Kat - this is a drive by shooting - i'll be back!) xx

Author's Reply:
drive by shooting... lol

littleditty on 24-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Is that a bit cheesey? i'll think about it ๐Ÿ™‚ ----> if yours needs changing, you need something with the light and dreams in it, innit? ๐Ÿ˜€

Author's Reply:
pickle anyone? ;o)

Michel on 24-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
No last line, imo. Hit'em and hit the road.

Author's Reply:
Michel, you're really good at this editing lark - thank you for taking the time to pop back and I think I'll snip it out, and I've had the littleditty seal of approval which is always a good sign!

Cheers

Kat :o)

littleditty on 25-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
ending on '...I peg the scene.' is a strong ending - oh yes indeed! ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
ld, thank you for trying to help me with that line. :o) I've now hit the road and am taking it with me. Your help is much appreciated.

Kat x

eddiesolo on 25-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Hi Kat,

Much kudos on this. I love it, simple yet so magnificent.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Si, thanks very much for appreciating this pre-snip. I'm culling the last line on a suggestion from Michel. Delighted you dropped in.

Kat :o)

Bradene on 26-10-2006
From the Balcony, Hanging Out Washing
Lovely little scene Kat cheers a dull morning in Grantham, such clever writing. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
And a comment from you always cheers me, Val! Thank you very much.

Kat x


Stalemate (posted on: 13-10-06)
A resub of last week's poem which wasn't very well developed. Grateful thanks to Woodbine's (further) suggestions - I think/hope I have given it more weight and legs. :o)

When I first met you I was on my best behaviour mirroring your actions – a right, Ms Rorschach – splattered by your attention which curved my spiky edges. Now, your reading specs are a barrier to communication, especially in bed. Our hands parabola as you turn your page and my page echoes. Is this the plateau? The nirvana-ed middle ground, the mediocre medium? Should I succumb to errant thoughts of sex? Dare I slip your marker between the words and bring reality back? Dare I slide my hand between your legs? The fly on the ceiling wouldn't recognise us.
Archived comments for Stalemate
woodbine on 13-10-2006
Stalemate
A much, much richer and funnier piece of witty writing. Will come back when my drugs are 'on'.
john xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you, John! You were so right to prompt and encourage me to take more time and care with my rather throwaway ditty. *big hug*

Kat x

RoyBateman on 13-10-2006
Stalemate
Oh, I reckon the fly on the ceiling has seen this sort of malarkey before...just make sure he's not taking pix on his mobile phone, or you could be all over the internet showing your red faces...or, no maybe not. I didn't catch this before, but I enjoyed it this time round!

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Roy! It's always good to listen to (and take) the advice of such skilled poets as Woodbine - I'm much more pleased with this week's version. ;o)

Kat x

woodbine on 14-10-2006
Stalemate
This ending looks fine to me.

John XX

Author's Reply:

woodbine on 14-10-2006
Stalemate
This ending looks fine to me.

John XX

Author's Reply:

woodbine on 14-10-2006
Stalemate
This ending looks fine to me.

John XX

Author's Reply:
Whew! *wipes sweat from brow* I think I got there in the end, John. :o) Thanks very much!

Kat x

Zoya on 20-10-2006
Stalemate
I like the anti-climax in the end.
The fly beautifully balances the text! or is it the act? lol
((hugs))
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hey, Zoya

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - 'anti-climax' sounds good to me. lol

Kat :o)

Flash on 22-10-2006
Stalemate
I might have to don me thread Monitors cap and uniform again, after reading that kitten. :-0S.

Enjoyed again.

xxxxxxxxx
Flashy

Author's Reply:
Aargh! Not the shadow of your truncheon? ;o) Flashy, it's been a treat to see a 'collection' of your comments on my work - thank you!

Kat x


Hope Hems My Sari (posted on: 06-10-06)
I've posted this for Gerry having been inspired to revisit and edit the poem after reading his 'Dante's Gate'. (Grateful thanks to Swep for his minor editing suggestions!) :o)

Meera's face upturns; oval brown eyes nestle in cocoa skin. By loud speakers brought here for testing, we're waiting at the clinic. Meera's face folds; I place unfeeling hands around her velveteen body. Try not to glance at the others – anxiety-shrivelled - like they're already dead. A man wheezes; a woman wobbles a waggly path; a nurse proffers an arm. My fingers numb, tingly, an odd sensation when spinning, and tending my first born. Stashing secrets is wise; my older sister cast out; stigmatised. Miracles happen here, the leaflet claimed. Medicine would fight symptoms, no matter I am pregnant. Twenty is too young even for here. Ancestors tug my heart, frightened for me; I'm not scared; hope hems my sari. I walk dusty roads as a proud mother. Mycobacterium leprae erased generations with ease. Here, with Meera, is better than seeing their disgust and blame, chastising my shame. I have heard rumour: Jesus healed the blind and deaf but cleansed lepers. I am not unclean. Next please – I rise with my child on hip, a smile slips, and I know I will feel Meera's downy skin again.
Archived comments for Hope Hems My Sari
Romany on 06-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
Twenty is too young even
for here.

Too right.

This is a beautiful and well executed poem.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Romany - your comments are much appreciated.

Kat :o)

niece on 06-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
Loved the way this ended on a hopeful note...Yes, there are quite a few Meeras in India. Fortunately, you see less of them begging these days. I hope that's a good sign!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading, niece. Yes, I believe things are getting better - hope is always important, eh?

Cheers

Kat x

Gerry on 06-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
Kat Thanks for posting this. It is comforting to know that Leprosy is now treated free anywhere in the world by the WHO.(world health organisation) They use MDT (multi drug treatment,) which kills the disease. It cannot unfortunately repair the damaged caused before treatment. Leprosy is still a problem in many parts of the world, let us hope it is soon wiped out.

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

Yes, indeed so - there's much being done to help, and if people are able to take advantage of this, great. Thank you for reading and commenting!

Kat x

Ionicus on 06-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
Yes. Definitely a beautifully written poem and very descriptive.
I like the act of defiance against adversity and the hopeful tone:
'Iโ€™m not scared;
hope hems my sari.'

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

Thanks for dropping by! I agree that hope and 'defiance against adversity' are two important traits to have - I'm very pleased you could pick that up from this - much appreciated. :o)

Kat x

Sunken on 07-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
Hello Ms. Kat. You seem to be on the boil lately and I intend making a nice hot cup of tea from your... liquids... later. Jeezus, that was my worst comment to date? I'm so sorry. I'll leave quietly via your back entrance.

s
u
n
k
e
n

banned from asda

Author's Reply:
Aw, Sunky... you're the Ovaltine to my slippers! :o) Thank you for being so... you! Hope you and Rudy have a nice weekend planned.

Cheers

Kat x

orangedream on 07-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
I don't think I can follow Sunky - no one can follow him can they?!!

Just to say your poem greatly moved me Kat. I myself have been reading up a bit on the subject of leprosy later, there was so much I didn't know about it. Now, 'hope hems my sari', too.

Tina xx

Author's Reply:
Yep, Sunky is the original Munky alright! :o)

Thanks, Tina, for letting me know your thoughts on my poem - leprosy was something I kind of thought was in the past, so I was very touched too when I read the article that inspired me to write this a couple of years ago.

Hope your weekend is going well - off to give the flat a dust and hoover - a quarterly affair in our hoose! ;o)

Thanks again.

Kat x

Zoya on 08-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
Very compassionate, well constructed piece, tells the story artfully. I like the title immensely:" Hope Hems My Sari"
The misconceptions about Leprosy being untreatable and contagious has to be dispelled with time... Health workers nto Leprosy patients should Know they are safe...
**hugs for touching upon this very delicate subject.**
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Zoya. That's a great comment... yes... the misconceptions, which was what I was most struck by when I read the article that inspired this.

Kat x

littleditty on 08-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
It a good story through her eyes Kat, details, some i wanted to know more about but that would have had you 'telling' too much i guess -but i am curious to know more about where she's at and what happens to her by the end of the poem, engaging - i absolutely love the title -think you should patent it as i reckon its worth a few bob as a movie title! Enjoyed :0) xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi ld

Thank you for reading and commenting - I'm really glad you liked the title and I think Zoya's comments go some way to showing perhaps the intention of the poem - to show that education/belief/ can help dispel misconceptions especially amongst the very people most susceptible. I wish I still had access to the article that inspired this as I forget all the details of it, but I know this poem came from the information it gave.

Thanks again.

Kat x

Slovitt on 09-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
Kat: This is very good. You combine writing talent with a basic compassion which yields a credible, moving experience for the reader. One may interact with your poems, which for me is a high compliment. Anyway, in the first stanza, what about for lines 3-5, in the context of the stanza

Meera's face upturns;
oval brown eyes nestle in
cocoa skin. By loud speakers
brought here for testing,
we're waiting at the clinic.

And then in the second stanza, what about in the third line cutting the 'I' to read

Meera's face folds;
I place unfeeling hands around her
her velveteen body. Try not
to glance at the others................

Finally, in this series of minor quibbles, what about cutting the 'are' in the fourth line of the third stanza to read

My fingers numb, tingly, an odd

Anyway, you've written a rich, evocative poem, and you are getting better, and better. Swep

Author's Reply:
Swep, I really appreciate you dropping by to let me know your thoughts, and I think your minor quibbles are valid and useful to pare this (marginally) - I will make your suggestions - thanks! :o) You've given me a great compliment with all your words! ;o)

Kat x

Flash on 22-10-2006
Hope Hems My Sari
Yes love the title.

Noble and yet very harrowing poem, presented with admirable craft and sensitivity.

A fine body of work , you're creating here Kitten. Well done.
xxxxxxxx
Flashy.

Author's Reply:
Flash, thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment so encouragingly on this poem - you're a star!

Kat xx


Deflation (posted on: 02-10-06)
God, I'm a coward... (Many thanks to all the commenters for the great suggestions I've had to make this a clearer piece - much appreciated - but I've now abdicated!) ;o)

Anna scoops her left hand under the nape of my neck as she does every morning. My head reflexes towards the folds within the curve of her nightdress. The sweet aroma of Parma violets used to intoxicate me. Now as my face nestles between her breasts, the smell only serves to underline how pathetic I am - all three of us lolling on our side. As if a white flag of surrender, my flaccid cock flops into her right hand, and I'm willing it to be brave. I can only mind-howl at the function of monogamy once the magpies have flown and taken a lifetime of investments with them.      The shaver buzzes and rolls over my chin. In the mirror, Anna folds my plaid pyjamas and stretches across the bed to tuck them under my pillow. Her bottom fits her black briefs perfectly - my flag does a Queenie wave, but not enough to see off her disappointment. How can I when I'm planning to tell her today? God, I'm a coward. Anna likes to set up breakfast in the conservatory at the weekend. I feel like we're playing 'dolls houses' as she clatters our silver wedding porcelain. She breezes past to get the three-minute eggs - all perky and eager, a flush painting her cheeks and cleavage. Her amethyst necklace dances adagio to Classic FM. She flits back with the bonneted ova, placing them on our plates – mine is the knitted rooster. She rushes to the ringing phone beside the sun-faded family sofa – dusts graduation photos with the elbow of her blouse as she answers.      'Yes, he's here – just a moment.' Her lips tell me she thinks it's work while she slots four slices of wholemeal in the toaster.      'Hel-lo - Professor Brown speaking.'      'It's me. Slight change of plan – can't get the car until four. How are things?'      'Well yes, the papers are with the secretary. Everything should be in order.'      'I love you – I'll be on the corner of Channel Street – bye.'      'OK - bye, Steve.'      'That was Steve?' Anna taps her egg.      'Yes – all sorted now though.'      'Is it?' She dips Marmite soldiers into the yolk. 'I've packed your purple Samsonite.'      I gulp my ginseng tea. Her grey eyes have never looked more impassioned as they crystallize before my gaze. I see her strength, her power, her knowledge, and it strikes me I'm about to squint the key stone – snap the ley line of our lives as if it was old knicker elastic. She chews, her mouth a waste disposal unit, re-dips the doomed soldier.      'I hope you'll be happy together.' And this is how you kill the weak. She squeezes lemon into her cup and licks her fingers.
Archived comments for Deflation
Romany on 02-10-2006
Deflation
You have such a knack for delivering death blows in an almost blase fashion and catching the reader off guard. Excellent, as your stuff so often is Kat.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
That's a really lovely comment, Romany - thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know your thoughts.

Kat x

Bradene on 02-10-2006
Deflation
Wow! Kat, Romany is so right. A shocker indeed. Well done as ever. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Val, thank you too! :o) I'm delighted you've popped in to let me know your thoughts. I'm looking forward to catching up with your challenge poem later - I read it in the workshop thread yesterday and I loved it!

Kat x

Gerry on 02-10-2006
Deflation
Kat, I like classic FM also ๐Ÿ˜‰

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

Yes, it's very calming I find! :o) And I need all the help I can get on that front - good to see you!

Kat x

bluepootle on 02-10-2006
Deflation
I like this, Kat. Some great images. I love the necklace dancing adagio to classic fm. The ending feels a little rushed; I'd like a pause, or a look, before she delivers her killer line. But, regardless, the final sentence is just right.

Author's Reply:
Hi blue



I'll certainly have a look at your suggestion which I very much appreciate - thank you! It's always great to see that you've popped in for a gander. Hope all your own plans are going tiptoppingly!



Kat :o)

~ I've just popped in for a fiddle, and hopefully added another line which might give the pause you suggest (hope I've got it in the right place!) - thanks again! x

thehaven on 02-10-2006
Deflation
I thought this was a perfect length for the material.So much said in so few words and every word counts.

An top writers in action.

Mike

Author's Reply:
Mike, I'm really pleased that you thought this OK *grins* - thank you! Thank you also for the HA - I'm very chuffed about that, and it all means a lot when the self-doubt rugby tackles me. *pings uncertainty from left ankle*

Had a read of your story earlier and I look forward to commenting soon.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Michel on 03-10-2006
Deflation
Brilliant write - just a couple of things I stumbled over:
โ€˜Iโ€™ve packed your conference Samsonite.โ€™ [new paragraph would work here? hard to be sure who's speaking, at first glance]
...
โ€˜I hope youโ€™ll be happy together.โ€™ *And this is how you kill the weak. She squeezes lemon into her cup and licks her fingers.

*I think if you come straight in with 'She squeezes...' it works more effectively. 'And this is how...' is clever, but less immediate; indicates he is thinking it all over and interpreting in retrospect - or else is a lead in to 'She squeezes lemon...' as if *that*squeezing of the lemon into her cup is how "you kill the weak". You already have the description of her strength, her power, her knowledge, so the last line of dialogue and her actions ring strongly true - though the reader has been distracted by the garbage disposal unit description so doesn't catch the significance of her strength, power and knowledge. It seems to me, then, that without the interpretive and slowing 'And this is how you kill the weak' her remark has a far stronger impact.


Author's Reply:
Hi Michel

That's a really great and helpful comment from you and I appreciate you taking the time to let me know. I'll move the Samsonite reference to the line above, where it should rightfully be, I think, and that should help to be clearer.

Your comments re the ending: I have already fiddled a bit trying to make a 'pause' as bluepootle suggested. I see exactly what you're saying too (and agree), but I think in effect the narrator is being reflective and interpretive - his voice and self are in the present tense (and the present) of the events which have occurred very recently in MY timeline for him, if that makes any sense? :o) I must admit I'd be loathe to omit the line you suggest as I feel it fits into the 'deflationary' morning he had and being a professor (possibly of semantics!), haha... I think his voice would be quite philosophical.

The garbage disposal bit was the 'pause' I added. :o) I had hoped that this fitted in to her strength re her intuition about her husband, and that he is perhaps 'waste' as far as she's concerned.

I will leave the ending for now - but I will definitely revisit with your suggestions in mind in the next few days or so.

Thanks a lot!

Kat :o)

niece on 03-10-2006
Deflation
Definitely a great read, Kat!!! And the end was just superb!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Niece, thank you very much for taking the time to read - you're a star!

Kat :o)

Flash on 03-10-2006
Deflation
Hi Kat

Had to read a couple of times to get what was going on.So perhaps the ending could be sharpened up a tad like some commentors have noted, or modified.

But your natural abilities for being spare and economical with words, fits beautifully in with the Flash genre, it really is top class stuff in segments, much to envy! My opinion anyway.

Onr thing though is, that Anna answers the phone...surely she'd be able to determine that it wasn't a male on the other end? Meaning the husbands act, looked even more silly.

I think some of your prose gets overlooked here kitten, whilst some shockingly shoddy and mediocre stuff gets recognised for God knows what. And certain people here actually begging/harrassing for nibs. for their own work for christ sake!!

Anyway i think this is worthy of a nib, and much worthier of that accolade than a lot of the work i'm seeing being nibbed.

*wink wink wink * ;-0).

xxxxxx
Flashy

Author's Reply:
Flash, you are a roguish rake! But I like you! :o) It's good to see a very encouraging comment from you - thanks a bunch (of grapes?). The Flashywashy genre is good fun I think for flexing the writing muscles, and mine are still a bit flabby, I fear. ;o)

My thoughts for Anna answering the phone was that she knew it was a man (which it was - Steve), and likely a work colleague but not sure who in particular, and Steve on the other end was a bit reticent and unforthcoming in the usual niceties. Anna suspected/knew her husband had someone, but not who exactly, or whether a man or woman (he had affairs with both sexes), and she was also aware he was planning to go that day - female intuition and all that (and back story that's unnecessary here, but hopefully hinted at or implied). When she hears Steve's name it all falls into place because of (backstory!). ;o) So yes, it was indeed Steve on the phone, the professor's lover and love of his life for a a few monogamous years (he hoped).

Nibs are always nice (they fair brighten up the screen!) and it's like getting an extra nice comment, but I think it's the comments and interaction between each of us that's key. And I thank you again for being so supportive, Mr Flash. I hope you're posting some more of your own work again soon.

Dib dib dib :o)

Cheers

Kat x

littleditty on 03-10-2006
Deflation
Youch Kat - i liked how her femaleness/sexuality comes through, makes her appear first unaware and his situation more poignant, and then is part of her strength at the end. Her gorgeousness and cheerfulness, if it were all for him, makes him feel the the more pathetic and cowardly, however, I think a woman who sings and jiggles, making breakfast in the conservatory, has perhaps already made or is making other, more satisfying arrangements, yet this is just an afterthought and doesn't detract from her cool calm, at the end of many years, as she finishes him off, lemon painful, but she transforms and becomes independent, her own object rather than his, with your end lines - and this is clever writing! Images of mother child relationship work well too - this is a darn clever complete 500 words Ms Kat - well done to you! xxldx

Author's Reply:
littleditty, I hereby award you with a 'Lucinda', it's kind of like an Oscar, ;o) for your wonderful and insightful comment - I think you've made my week. Thanks a bunch of flowers!

Kat x

Flash on 03-10-2006
Deflation
Doh!! How dumb is i Kitten?

It was a man on the other end of the phone!!! Oh i like it even more now.

Sparkling work, and i'll nick and echo all what PottyDotty says too ;-o).

xxxxxx
Flashy.

Author's Reply:
*grins* Thanks for popping back, Flashy - PottyDotty's pretty good, eh? Please have a big slaperooni on both cheeks from me! ;o) And I really appreciate your supportive and encouraging comments.

Kat xx

Michel on 03-10-2006
Deflation
Kat, yes! I see what you mean about the philosophical bit coming from him, and *completely* agree!
On, and I think the pause you added, with the garbage disposal remark, works remarkably well.

Author's Reply:
Michel, you're a star for popping back to reassure me - thank you for that!

Kat :o)

Sunken on 03-10-2006
Deflation
Well said Mr. Flash. And on to the wonderful Kat. Ya know I don't do much other than rhyme (or at least attempt to) but I do occasionally read the prose stuff that gets subbed. My prob has always been my crap attention span, so flash fiction always appeals and this is def one of the best I've read to date. You aren't allowing a rate so please accept my last kit kat by way of an award. Nice one Ms. Flap.

s
u
n
k
e
n

reads the obituary before going to bed

Author's Reply:
Sunken Munken (I feel your formal name is necessary here) *clears throat and empties magnum* I thank you from the bottom of my Sekt bottle. Your comment is one I may even put up on a pedestal I carved from marble in my last lifetime. And I will put it next to the Twix (or was it just a finger?) you recently gave me - I am humbled, honoured, and I'm going to binge.



Yeh, irreverent Flashy for President! Hehe - sounds good to me.



Thanks again!



flapkat x

Oops! Just popped back to grab the kit kat - thanks! :o)

juliet on 04-10-2006
Deflation
i to enjoyed this, some of the descriptions were delightful i particularly liked the 'bonneted ova'.

However, and i know you had made some minor edits already, i still think it lacks clarity and therefore loses impact. It wasn't until i had read at few times that i realised she knew about the affair and had already packed his things to kick him out. The conference Samsonite implied to me that she knew he was going to a conference with Steve not that she had guessed about the affair. Can she not mention something more personal as well. I've packed your 'piles cream'?

I think the end still comes too quickly, as a reader i am waiting for him to tell her, then suddenly he realises and the reader has to catch up quick to make sense of the last line.

I gulp my Ginseng tea that threatens to return as the realisation that i have been found out dawns.

that's probably a bit too obvious but i do think the reader needs a little more of a signpost before launching into the final couple of lines.

Just my thoughts on a sparkling piece of prose.

Author's Reply:
Hi juliet

Thank you for your comments which are very helpful - I see your points exactly. Perhaps it would be enough to just say 'Samsonite' if the mention of 'conference' is misleading - that's a great idea about the 'piles cream' ;o) but it was important that Anna came across as being quite dignified about the whole thing and not being facetious or nasty (though I'm sure she could be and may have wanted to be). :o)

I like your suggestion with the ginseng tea line - perhaps, 'I gulp my ginseng tea which threatens to return as I realise she knows.'? I may edit to that effect and yes, it's important not to be too obscure when writing! :o)

I really appreciate you taking the time to give me such good food for thought. I hope you're posting again soon - I really enjoy your work.

Kat :o)

orangedream on 05-10-2006
Deflation
Hello there Kat. Before I say anything else, may I just say I thought if brilliant!

Unfortunately I'm with Sunky about reading fiction. Most of what I know,(and that's not much) is about poetry but I do know a good write when I read one and this surely is. Can't say anything clever - it's all been said - except I really enjoyed it. You have a very original style, but I guess you know that already.

kindest regards
Tina x

Author's Reply:
Tina, thank you very much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment... if there's one thing I know it's that I've a lot to learn still, and belief in what/any 'skills' I have comes and goes... I'm very open to suggestions and feedback and I can say without a doubt that being part of UKA and reading so many fine writers here, has helped a lot. I really appreciate you popping in. :o)

Must dash as it looks like I'm off to the cutting room again - help ma boab!

Kat x

Michel on 05-10-2006
Deflation

Great idea never to use a cliche, and never ever to explain (instead, allow the reader to interpret by showing).
I'd strongly advise you not to add '...which threatens to return as I realise...'
What you have works spectacularly well, by engaging the reader, hitting them with what happens - the only interpretive lines being subtle, witty, and loaded with nuance.

Author's Reply:
*tosses coin, pours a contemplative dram but knocks it back*

I think you're right!

Kat x

neotom on 29-12-2006
Deflation
I felt this piece had a significant depth to it. I've read it after the polished abdication. It's well polished.

Tom

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Tom! I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat :o)


What I Shouldn't Have Said (posted on: 29-09-06)
Edited with grateful thanks to Ms littleditty's polishing services (ink). And my own inability to leave the damn thing alone! ;o) Thanks (latterly) also to narcissa.

I'm 'appropriately' not at your funeral today but my love for you remains - where should it have gone? It wasn't a flimsy polystyrene thing - a flyaway origami passion. A kaleidoscopic tunnel grew when I left you the space   gap   space stayed like a sinus. An eye of light crept back the black begat blue and shell-cupped-ear whooshes sounded like regular breathing. It was a muddy excavation until, from a closure/aperture that I hacked from slimy rocks, puttied by lachrymal salt, I sculpted a column for you – a memory monument - smooth with worry, moulded by what I had lost. It's staked in my heart, which is vacuum-packed with what we had. I can peer down the years, examine it from the distance of the present, mull it over and mouth what I shouldn't have said.
Archived comments for What I Shouldn't Have Said
Sunken on 29-09-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
Ahhh, we've all done it Ms. Kat. A girl once told me that she loved me, it was total ass wipe as it goes. I am practicing saying thing in binary, at least that way you can blame cock-ups on zeros and ones. I don't know what I'm on about either. Top write tho.

s
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k
e
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he falls on thursdays

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunks, thanks for reading and saying the things you do! :o) I'm very sure you're a very popular munky indeed. Have a great weekend!

Kat :o)

Romany on 29-09-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
but my love for you remains -
where should it have gone?


Very astute observation, and a heartfelt and skilful write too.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany

Thank you for reading and commenting - much appreciated. This started out as a short story, but I got interrupted (then lost the plot!) ;o) But the thoughts within the poem really intrigue me.

Kat :o)

niece on 29-09-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
"I sculpted a column for you โ€“
a memory monument - smooth
with worry, moulded by what Iโ€™d lost. "

"I can peer down the years (now)
examine it from the distance of the present."

Lovely thoughts...beautiful poem!

Regds,
niece


Author's Reply:
Thank you, niece! I really appreciate you letting me know the bits you particularly liked. Good luck with your novel writing! I think your title is great - I'l try to pop in to a chapter soon.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 29-09-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
Ah, how romantic...some deep feelings here, expressed with great skill and unusual imagery. Great title, too - something everyone can relate to, I'd think. If only we could keep our big mouths shut...

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

Thank you for a super comment... I still think I'll try to turn the ideas in this into a short story at some stage (that had been my plan when I started writing it). Hope you've got a good weekend lined up.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Bradene on 29-09-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
Such a poignant piece this Kat that I can wholeheartedly empathize with Beautifully written. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi lovely Val!

Thank you for that - I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat x

Gerry on 29-09-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
Kat, as Roy said many will relate to this, but I doubt they could have expressed it so eloquently...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

That's very good of you to say - thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat x

littleditty on 30-09-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
Hi Kat -i liked this so much i fiddled ๐Ÿ˜ฎ will pm, just for you to see because its your voice here, and fine it is! closure/aperture is quite some valve/closure/access to memory/heart/channels of the ear/voice - poem felt like a fossil opening -the end lines are ace, mouthing something that shouldn't have been said, difficult, sad and yet felt some coming to terms, whatever i imagined was said..LIKED THIS ONE...did i say that already? ๐Ÿ˜€ xxldx

Author's Reply:
Thanks again littleditty! Have edited but put the 'ear' bit back too now as I kept wanting to say it when re-reading! :o) And you mention channels of the ear above, so makes sense to leave it, I think. I'm just a tinkering-bell! I really appreciate you having taken the time to let me know your suggestions... have put an IOU in the post! :o)

Kat x

Ionicus on 30-09-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
'It wasnโ€™t a flimsy polystyrene thing -
a flyaway origami passion.

A deep dark cavern grew
when I left you
the space gap space
stayed like a sinus.'

What exquisite lines, dear kitten.
The whole poem is skilfully crafted with original imagery. The sense of loss and regret comes across loud and clear.
A top one in my books.

Luigi x


Author's Reply:
Luigi, thank you! I've had a wee tinker with it after some great suggestions from littleditty - but the same poem is still there (with the bits you mention above), just a bit smoother and flowing better, I think. Thanks again for reading and letting me know your thoughts.

Kat x

teifii on 03-10-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
Certainly paid for all the tinkering. I suspect that the poem beats the story.
Daff

Author's Reply:
That's a great comment, Daff! Haha... yes, the poem is a right ol' amalgam from my 'memory box'. ;o) Good to see you!

Kat x

Abel on 04-10-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
"I sculpted a column for you โ€“
a memory monument - smooth
with worry, moulded by what I had lost.
Itโ€™s staked in my heart, which
is vacuum-packed with what we had."

Kat, this is superb work, inspiring...

w


Author's Reply:
Ward, thank you! I've finally managed to stop tinkering with it now. ;o) Good to see you!

Kat x

Albermund on 09-10-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
After reading your first stanza I was completely hooked. Your writing is so appealing. I don't get all of this but the stuff I do get is so good ('examine it from the distance of the present.') that I can only think the rest is even better. Cheers, Albert

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Albert - what a lovely comment and I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and let me know your thoughts.

Kat :o)

narcissa on 12-10-2006
What I Shouldnt Have Said
Well I'll be... I really don't know what to say. This is stunning. You are clearly so articulate and expressive, and this poem is a joy to read because you choose your words so carefully and effectively. I love your experimentation with style (eg "space gap space") throughout.
Only a couple of niggles - "deep dark cavern" is such a sudden change from your beautiful use of words. It's as if the word "nice" cropped up in a Shakespeare sonnet!
And also, I know it sounds fantastic, but why would something stay like a sinus? Are you saying that sinuses stay? Or are you saying it was like a sinus and it's still like a sinus?

That's it, though. Well deserving of the nib!!
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Hi Laura



That's a really great and helpful comment from you - many thanks! I have to admit that the 'deep dark cavern' bit niggled me too, and now that it's officially niggling others I'm going to revisit. ;o)



Re the 'sinus' bit - I would say yes to both your queries: sinuses (? the plural), spaces can stay and yes, the space can never be filled by another (not in the same way).



Thanks again!



Kat :o)

PS: I'm thinking about using 'kaleidoscopic tunnel' insted of 'deep dark cavern' - may edit to that effect - cheers, Laura! x


Days of Wine and Theses (posted on: 15-09-06)
An older one which I've edited - may well need a bit more tweaking - any comments/suggestions gratefully received.

It's 1981 - Charles and Di marry and campus days are shrieking. Freshers' week is refreshingly new and I'm jigging in the students' union thirsty for the future. Ian Curtis sings Love will tear us apart again and the words can't reach me as I grasp freedom from parents by both horns and four hooves. My sweatshirt flaunts whose daughter I am now. Day old friends are life-long allies and maybe they will be. I'm sophisticated as I slurp (burp) Liebfraumilch (hic) from a plastic cup, thinking how annoying Tainted Love is. Everyone's droning about love gone wrong and it had for me the week before, but I've met my new boyfriend. Joy Division emblazons his denim jacket; a softly-spoken cum upstirs Belfast lad with Guinness eyes and Baileys skin. I'm a social addict not an academic and when I drop French for sociology my father flips. Get an X-grade for a history essay, but what did I expect, handing it in late, at a tutorial I'd forgotten. I hate holidays, prising me from frolics - sliding on trays down hills in winter, sun-bathing under library's glare in summer. Silver-service waitress-dom fork and spoon in the home gloom. Four years whizz by accelerated with exhilaration, finally, full-stop. Finito. And Love will tear us apart again does, again and again and again. And the last grains of realisation rain, dry out, sober up, to show the cirrhotic belly of adulthood.
Archived comments for Days of Wine and Theses
orangedream on 15-09-2006
Days of Wine and Theses
Gosh - see what you mean Kat. They are similar aren't they? Yours is much more getting right down to the real nitty-gritty than mine is. Like it immensely. Especially the lines:-

"as I grasp freedom from my parents by both horns and
four hooves ..."

Great title by the way!

kindest regards
Tina x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina

Thank you for popping in - much appreciated. Yes... I'm not telling it very slant here, am I? ;o) My poetry toolkit contains a hammer, a spanner and a lot of nuts it would seem! :o)

Hope you have a good weekend!

Kat x

Abel on 16-09-2006
Days of Wine and Theses
Kat, I think I was there, too. All of your references sound so familiar to me, right down to Ian Curtis, et al. So many memories, and you bring them back so well in this fine poem.


Ward

Author's Reply:
Ward, thank you for reading and commenting, and I appreciate (very much) you making this a fav.

Cheers

Kat x

Dazza on 17-11-2006
Days of Wine and Theses
I love Joy Division. Harking back is always tinged with loss and meloncholia which you can wash down nicely with some red and make the whole mix the best B grade movie you ever did see. Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Apologies for the late reply - only just noticed your comment, Mr Dazz... which is a great one - thank you!

Kat x


Swimming with Drag Queens (posted on: 08-09-06)
Belated edit - thanks, littleditty!

Of course they had great legs which flippered elegantly in tight neoprene leotards that added to the mammal-effect and hid a lack of mammaries. Appendages strapped, only the frisson of a swagger suggested meat and two veg. The cabaret of build-up – bouncing (fettered) off the diving platform wigs escaping in fronds under Max Wall bathing caps. False eyelashes like humming-birds unable to prevent wet gravity. How their limbs flapped and flailed - how they bombed like cannonballs.
Archived comments for Swimming with Drag Queens
Gerry on 08-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
Kat, I had to smile, however certainly not the kind of thing I would wish to see. Give me ladies every time ;-)...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

Thank you for dipping your toe into this wee ditty - always good to hear from you.

Cheers

Kat x

orangedream on 08-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
Absolutely adored the last line Kat. Cannonballs just about did it for me. The mind boggles!!

Bottoms, definitely up
and the very kindest of regards,

orangedream x:-p

Author's Reply:
*grinning* Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, orange. I was wondering if the ending was a bit rushed... but I guess there's only one speed with cannonballs! ;o)

Kat x

littleditty on 09-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
Brilliant Kat - 'fronds' is a favourite word - my favourite Drag Queen is a star called Crystal D'ecanta, plays Molly Moggs, sunday night, and she - fine, sturdy figure of a woman that she is, has me thinking your last line could be, 'how they splashed, bombed like cannonballs.' Your ladies may have been a little more delicate, of course...i liked your funny visual poem! thanks Kat xxxlittleditty x



Author's Reply:
Oopsabuttercup! Please see comment below.

Kat x

Kat on 09-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
Hello ditty!

Great to see a comment from you - thank you! I do think your suggestion for the last line is very good and I will ponder over it... ? even just, 'how they bombed like cannonballs? Appreciate you taking the time.

Drag Queens are a whole new ball game to me, and I also admire their balls! ;o)

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 09-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
Yep -they've certainly got balls - 'how they bombed like cannonballs' is a little more macho than the splashed, perhaps then more comic? *titters* ๐Ÿ˜€

Author's Reply:
*titters a lot* I'm going to put on my Max Wall swimming cap and have a drink and think! Thanks, ld!

Kat x

woodbine on 15-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
Hi Kat,
Witty and funny as your piece is, a lot of my friends are cannon balls, and although not swimmers as such, might take offence at this unfortunate comparison. Could you not change it to 'undefined roundish nonexplosive projectiles' which would cause no offence but would convey the same information?
Best wishes,
Woodbine

Author's Reply:
Hi John,

Thanks for commenting and alerting me to the feelings of cannonballs which I heartily respect (especially when being fired, and if they are friends of yours!), and that no real or live cannonballs were meant to be offended in this simile. *calls lawyer just in case and twiddles thumbs while waiting to hear from the URNP League*

It's always good to hear from you! :o) I hope the CD sales for Spaceflights Without Reservation are going like hotcakes! :o) *braces self*

Best Wishes
Kat x






wfgray on 15-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
Yak! A complete load of balls. Just had to laugh.

Author's Reply:
Well... there was a lot of laughter... and a load of testes too! ;o)

Kat :o)

Abel on 15-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
This is more than funny...there is a brilliant way of observing here, the structure and timing. Yes, and it's funny too!!!

w

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Ward! I really appreciate your comment.

Kat x

barenib on 15-09-2006
Swimming with Drag Queens
Kat, this is very enjoyable - it's one thing to observe such a spectacle, but quite another to capture it in a poem in the way that you have here, with memorable and witty images.
I believe you sent me a PM the other day, but it got zapped by the hacker before I could read it, by the way. John.

Author's Reply:
Hi John

Many thanks for reading and commenting! I'll re-PM you!

Cheers

Kat :o)


Mana (posted on: 11-08-06)
A shortie.

Perhaps you didn't cast the first stone, but are you big enough to throw the last?
Archived comments for Mana
red-dragon on 11-08-2006
Mana
Kat - a thoughtie shortie, nicely caughtie. Ann

Author's Reply:
*grins even more* Hellooo Ann! I like that - thank you! Have a great weekend!

Kat :o)

orangedream on 11-08-2006
Mana
Food for thought Kat.

Many a true word is spoken in a 'shortie'.

Well done.
:-)orangedream

Author's Reply:
Hi orange

Thank you for popping in to comment - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Sunken on 12-08-2006
Mana
I like a nice shortie (-; Especially when the wind catches them... Ahhhh. Sorry Kat. I've lost the thread now.

s
u
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k
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n

yes sir, I can rain dance...



Author's Reply:
Me too, Sunky, me too (lost the thread, that is). ;o)

Always love to see a comment from the (in)famous Mr Munky! :o)

Hope you're having a super duper hamster-packed weekend!

Kat :o)

littleditty on 12-08-2006
Mana
Nice one Kat :o)

:Oo

*worries a bit about the last stone* ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

good shortie! xxldx

Author's Reply:
*grinning again* Hi, ld, thank you for taking the time with this wee one. I think I would hope that the last stone was (hopefully) metaphorical as well as being the last. :o)

Kat x

len on 18-08-2006
Mana
IT was GREAT...Ran a little long though, don't ya think..Maybe if you deleted a couple of lines it would flow better...Just a thought...len

Author's Reply:
Ha! You think so? ;o) Thanks for taking a nanosecond of your time to read it, Len.

Kat :o)

Abel on 19-09-2006
Mana
This is a sound philosophy, and one that is rarely heeded these days, Kim. Unique and well done.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Ward! I only read about this concept recently, and I thought, yes! :o)

Cheers

KatKim x

admin on 20-09-2006
Mana
Nice little gem here, Kat - like it ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Hi admin

Thanks for popping in and reading - much appreciated!

Kat :o)


The Greenhouse Effect (posted on: 11-08-06)
An older story which I've taken the secateurs to with gay abandon! Further pruning or weeding may well be required. ;o)

Angus' aqua eyes puddled. There was a jaggy hole in one of the roof panes. Warm, moist earth met him and added to the nausea he felt as he stared at the chequered football embedded in his organic tomatoes.      ''I'll kill those wee bastards!'' Angus never swore. Tears began to wet his cheeks, trickling over the wrinkles that had creviced in the four years since Eileen's death. He bent down, creakily, and with ruddy brown hands, reached for the ball.      ''I'll show them!'' Darryl and Andy practised their footballing skills after school and at weekends in the local playing fields. The salty wind from the North Sea would sweep up on the wing and whip Darryl's dark curls around his face - thus - there were occasions when Darryl's 'lob it like Larsson' was nothing like it. Andy hated when the ball flew above his lanky body – it could end up anywhere. The arrangement was that they took turns retrieving it from various vegetable patches or the burn that had evaporated to a trickle in the summer glare. Andy's skill was in heading the ball into the top left-hand corner of the net with the precision of an assassin. He'd leapt a metre into the air, cropped hair aerodynamically helping him to soar and score. And it was lethal this time as the murderous shot of breaking glass rang out. Angus continued to assess the damage to his tomatoes. They weren't too bad - a few broken stalks and the green fruit might still ripen if he laid them in the sun. It wasn't even the broken pane that riled – that could be replaced. It was the violation and belief that someone had it in for him.          The paranoia had started when Eileen died. They had not been able to have children. Each of them had been only children. They were everything to each other and at first Angus didn't know how he could go on without Eileen. But he'd kept moving and breathing.      He'd decided a couple of years ago to grow tomatoes. Eileen had always said he should – there was nothing like something home grown and nurtured.      So that's what he'd done. He'd nurtured tomatoes. He'd bought the greenhouse especially. He'd spent hours tending his plants – a lot of mammary-shaped cacti – but his tomatoes were his passion. He'd germinated them. How proud he was when they flowered, started to sprout and how expectantly he waited for the birth of their tiny tomatoes – the invigorating smell of new life.      He talked to them. He guessed they knew more about him than Eileen ever did. They knew how much he loved her. He watched the tomatoes ripen, slowly growing like sumptuous red balloons inflating with juice. He would stroke them, holding them individually between thumb and forefinger as if an earlobe of Eileen's – she had liked that.      Angus slipped on his gardening gloves and began to pick up the broken glass, wrapping it in double sheets from yesterday's Daily Record. He placed most of it in the plastic wheelie bin, except the largest, sharpest piece which he took along with the black and white ball and sat down on the bench. He wanted to plan his next move.      ''Chequered leather ball, check-mate!'' Big Ben chimes sang as Darryl waited at the wooden door with head bowed. It swung open to reveal a pair of grey-socked feet in brown sandals. Darryl's glance followed thin, hairless legs until he was looking at a man with flopping greasy hair. The man's face had smudgy brown marks on it. He held a deflated ball in his left hand – a squidge of a thing - a hunk of glass in his right. The man examined him with probing eyes. Andy looked at his watch again. Darryl had been gone about twenty minutes. The ball was only in the garden over the fence to the left of the goals. His pulse bounded. He decided to go and find out what was keeping Darryl.      Andy's palms were sweating as he rang the bell. No answer. He pushed it again. Just Big Ben. He walked around to the back of the house. The freshly creosoted gate made Andy wrinkle his nose as he pressed down on the latch. He pushed his legs on. The back garden was immaculate with a huge lawn like a mini-Hampden. The light green and emerald striped grass impressed him. How often had he laboured to create that effect on their front lawn at home – he had even tried food dye. The greenhouse nestled centrally at the back. He thought he could make out Darryl's head through the steamed up glass.      ''Darryl!''      Darryl was scared when he saw the dead football and the daggered glass. But the man had immediately apologised. Yes, apologised to Darryl, for vandalising the ball. Said he would buy him another. And that's when they'd got talking and he'd shown Darryl the damage inflicted on the greenhouse, and it was Darryl's turn to apologise. They had chatted for a while then.      ''Darryl! Darryl!''      ''That's Andy - I'd better go - thanks for being so understanding. You sure you don't want the money for it?''      ''Not at all, young man. It's been very nice getting to know you. Let's just call it quits shall we - a draw?'' Angus' aqua eyes beamed. Angus watched Darryl and Andy as they jostled, joked and disappeared around the corner. He emitted a choking sound. He couldn't believe how close he'd come. As he'd sat on the bench studying the ball he'd felt like an uncorked bottle of champagne – a fusty vintage, stoppered from releasing the bubbling tension inside. He felt like he'd been vatted in a cave. He'd needed to explode – to be de-fizzed. Angus had stabbed the football six times. On the sixth attempt it had punctured as he'd imagined a mindless, faceless hooligan.
Archived comments for The Greenhouse Effect
thehaven on 11-08-2006
The Greenhouse Effect
I enjoyed this but felt you went a bit overboard with adjectives.

A very interesting message of tolerance and forgiveness behind the story.

Mike

Author's Reply:
Makes list: 'adjectives' ~ I will definitely revisit these, Mike, and thanks very much for reading and commenting. I'm glad that the message came across.

Cheers

Kat :o)

juliet on 11-08-2006
The Greenhouse Effect
the end caught me out which i liked, but i didn't feel the empathy with Angus that i thought i might.

It sounds like you have worked on this, but i still feel the characters need some more work. Angus is to me a little too cliched - grumpy widower with neat show garden and noisy neighbours. I want to understand him better which would make more sense of his actions at then end. Why did he feel the need to explode and why direct it at the ball? Was it his reaction to his wife's death or his anger at his noisy neighbours who his bitterness and not becoming a father? I think these themes need more time.

I hope these comments make sense, it is a well written story but for me just lacks that something that draws me in.

Author's Reply:
Hi Juliet

Those are very helpful comments which do make sense - thank you!

I guess my slant was towards his bottling up of emotions over the death of his wife/having no children and being quite isolated and focused on his 'own little kingdom' and becoming a bit paranoid as a result, and brooding/broody? Perhaps a latent anger/disappointment that they had no children (thus the anger at the ball and all it symbolised).

I think you are right that these themes need more time, but I guess I'm being a bit experimental too - trying to see what I need to show/explain and how much of same. And I suppose, hoping that the reader is able to take up a bit of the slack so that things aren't too spelled out. I don't think the lack of empathy with the character is such a bad thing, but I can see that a bit more depth is needed to get the reader to care/be drawn in.

Thanks again for giving me good food for thought - I really appreciate it.

Kat :o)

RoyBateman on 11-08-2006
The Greenhouse Effect
Well, you caught me with the ending...no doubt we were meant to think that the old chap had snapped? This was far more original! Liked the description of the old feller and his tomatoes - I could almost smell 'em ripening. If I have any suggestion to make, it's that you imply that this has been savagely pruned and you might cut it again - no! I think you may have trimmed too much - it could easily be quite a bit longer without anyone losing interest, and parts seem to have been over-shortened to me. Then, I suffer from verbal diarrhoea (Hey, get that spelling, eh? Then, I WAS a teacher!) so I prefer long to short.
Only a thought - this was both different and enjoyable as it stands.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Roy. Those are really helpful comments. This was around 2350 words and now stands at < 1000 in the word doc. I do get quite scissor happy when it comes to editing. I think it's a tighter story though now - before I had a side element with the boys' mothers (who were single mothers) and a chain-smoking but very loveable granny, but I don't think they added anything.

Thanks again for giving this your time.

Kat :o)

sirat on 11-08-2006
The Greenhouse Effect
I completely agree with Juliet. This has the seeds of a great tragi-comic character study but it's not very well developed. In fact I can't see the motivation of the central character at all. I wonder if it might work better told in the firsrt person by Angus, so that we could get more of a glimpse into his thoughts and feelings? Is Mike right that you intended to write a parable about tolerance and forgiveness or is there I wonder something else that you intended that all of us have simply missed?

Author's Reply:
Hi sirat

Yes, I do see Juliet's point, and that it's the 'motivation' factor that's perhaps letting this down, and I can see that this could be a lot better in the first person, and extended a bit, and developed, and, and... :o) You're on the nose, Mr sirat!

Yes, Mike picked up the message well, about tolerance and the assumptions we make and how we pigeon hole people. I think attention to a bit of the conversation between Darryl and Angus in the greenhouse would be a good idea. Thank you for taking the time with this - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

orangedream on 11-08-2006
The Greenhouse Effect
Love the idea of being de-fizzed! I think...?

Don't read much fiction, but this I enjoyed.

Thanks Kat
:-)orange

Author's Reply:
Thanks, orange! I'm still trying my best to get craftier at the craft!

Kat :o)

len on 16-08-2006
The Greenhouse Effect
I think Sirat has a point with the first-person treatment. Very original story, though..Suddenly, I'm in the mood for tomatoes..:O)..len

Author's Reply:
Cheers, len, I appreciate you having a read. Yes, sirat definitely made a very good point. Thanks for popping in!

Kat :o)

reckless on 03-09-2006
The Greenhouse Effect
I didn't really mind the adjectives. Didn't notive much, to be honest. Maybe I'm an uncritical reader. the onl thing I'd say is that I felt the ending could have been drawn out more, as it wasn't immediately cler what was happening. Got to the end too fast, if you knwo what I mean. Otherwise I liked it, thought it was sensitive.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, reckless! I did prune a couple or so of the adjectives when it was mentioned. Your comment re the ending is very helpful.

Cheers

Kat :o)


Stuffing (posted on: 07-08-06)
Edited with grateful thanks to e-griff and Slovitt.

Rubbing old bread into a glass bowl you sneak up on me, indiscernibly, as doughy pellets rise and I glimpse your freckly face. You feign comprehension as I subsume your 'Queen of the Sunday Roast' role as if it was normal you can't remember how it's done. Chopping velvety mushrooms, finely, so finely, I glance again at the memory of the visit having to direct your every move: are you going to dress now? Would you like a shower? You'd got stuck in the bath. Cutting red onions, releasing their tartness you hobble-pace to the sitting room and back, unsure of its realm and your ranking. I smile because within your confusion the core of a joke between us remains, un-laughed at yet. Milling black pepper over the ingredients I add lemon juice, the freshest sage, generous garlic, glugs of olive oil, mix and pat into a Pyrex presenting it to you for inspection, hoping on a resurrection: you taught me all I know - don't go.
Archived comments for Stuffing
niece on 07-08-2006
Stuffing
Kat,
this is a beautiful poem...especially like these lines:

"I smile because within your confusion the core
of a joke between us remains, un-laughed at yet."

Says so so much...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

It's always so lovely to hear from you - thank you very much for your comment - very much appreciated, as always!

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 07-08-2006
Stuffing
Kat, this is so well written; the relationship between you woven through the ingredients of your lives together. Velvet, tartness......good choices of words, yet you never once mentioned the stuffing...
I'd rate it 10 if I could. Ann

Author's Reply:
Ann, your comments are very welcome, especially coming from such an adept poetess as yourself! ;o) Thank you! I sometimes feel like I'm writing the same poem over and over, at least, revisiting certain themes, so I hope not to bore too many folks! :o)

Kat

Dargo77 on 07-08-2006
Stuffing
Kat, another wonderful, moving poem from your pen. My favourite lines were:
'You feign comprehension
as I subsume your Queen of the Sunday Roast role
as if it was normal
you canโ€™t remember how itโ€™s done

Thanks for this one.
Regards,
Dargo'



Author's Reply:
Dargo, you honour me with your very kind words about this poem - many many thanks - very much appreciated!

Kat :o)

orangedream on 07-08-2006
Stuffing
Very rarely have I been so moved by a piece of writing Kat. Unfortunately, I can identify 200 percent with this piece. Both my mother and a very close aunt had Alzheimers and I said 'goodbye' to both of them, years before they physically died.

Apart from what you wrote, the way you wrote it was so brilliant. Particularly liked the half-rhyme between 'garlic' and 'Pyrex' - works extremely well in context. As for the ending, I was reading it out-loud to my partner but the lump in my throat got in the way.

Thank you so much Kat.

Have a peaceful evening.
:-)orangedream

Author's Reply:
Hi orangedream

Thank you for a great comment which I appreciate very much.

Yes, watching someone you love with dementia slip ever further away is one of the most difficult things to witness and cope with, I think. I nursed people with this condition for many years before my mum developed early-onset dementia, and the empathy I always felt for people and their carers multiplied a thousand times and more. Although, of course, the condition takes a debilitating route through people's lives, I believe 100% in maintaining the quality of life and well-being of people, particularly through a positive attitude and environment, so, yes, there are tears, but there's still an overwhelming amount of love and support that can be given, shared and enjoyed.

I bet you were a great help to your mum and aunt. Thanks again for your comments.

Kat x

Gerry on 08-08-2006
Stuffing
Kat, well written and fully understood...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Gerry, thank you very much for reading and commenting - appreciated! I hope all's well with you.

Kat :o)

juliet on 08-08-2006
Stuffing
kat, this is absolutely wonderful, you have created fully rounded and totally believable people in so few words. And what you have to say resonates with so many people, achieved without over sentimentality. Fantastic and if i could i would give it my first 10.

But... the title does not do it justice - change it - please.

Author's Reply:
juliet, that's a very encouraging comment which I appreciate greatly.

I'll have a think about the title, but I'm keen to keep it as I wanted it to also hint at how it might feel to be confused, and remembering something someone said to me once about feeling like their head was stuffed with cotton wool, and not just meaning the concoction being prepared. But if you have any suggestions I'd be happy to read them.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

juliet on 08-08-2006
Stuffing
kat, this is absolutely wonderful, you have created fully rounded and totally believable people in so few words. And what you have to say resonates with so many people, achieved without over sentimentality. Fantastic and if i could i would give it my first 10.

But... the title does not do it justice - change it - please.

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 08-08-2006
Stuffing
technically, a wee bit of tidying might not go amiss.

But hell! It's a moving, packed-full piece which makes its message clear and leaves no prisoners.

G




Author's Reply:
Griffy, thank you for that very encouraging comment. I'll revisit it with my toolbox, but if you have any suggestions I'm all ears.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

juliet on 09-08-2006
Stuffing
mm, you clearly want to use the word stuffing - it is just that when i saw it i thought it was going to be a lighthearted poem.

I suggest: Making stuffing.

if that helps. Juliet

Author's Reply:
Hi Juliet

I really appreciate you taking the time to think about this and give me your suggestion. I must admit that I don't mind if a title perhaps wrongfoots the reader (in the nicest possible way!). ;o) Titles are important to me, and I often come up with the title first or pretty soon into the writing of a piece of work.

I think for the time being, I'm still stuck on 'Stuffing'. :o)

Cheers

Kat

e-griff on 09-08-2006
Stuffing
OK, since you asked.. nothing major.

There should be spaces before and after Queen of the Sunday Roast. That's trivial, I know, but: in V2 (I'll come on to 3 later) you have clearly used italics to show speech (and I think that works fine) so it would seem more appropriate as this is not speech, but is a quote, to make it such , ie:

as I subsume your 'Queen of the Sunday Roast' role

also, as you have used 'proper' punctuation in v2 and v3, would it not be appropriate to do so in V1? arguably it would strngthen the impact of the last line:

as if it was normal.
You canโ€™t remember how itโ€™s done.

odd things: 'a Pyrex' ? (maybe 'dish') 'hoping ON' ? (hoping for?)

and the last line:
you taught me all I know (in italics) โ€“ donโ€™t go. (not)
if we are being consistent, the italicised part should be spoken (by you), but then, is the 'don't go' an unspoken plea?

or should it rather be
you taught me all I know(not italicised/narrator's statement) โ€“ donโ€™t go (italicised). (spoken plea)

pretty picky, I know, but that's me fourpennorth ๐Ÿ™‚ JohnG

on the title, I associated the actual (real) stuffing somehow with an old lady getting 'stuffed' by her disease. whether that was intended, I dunno.










Author's Reply:
John, you're a fine reader and editor - many thanks for your input which is much appreciated. I notice that the lovely Swep has also popped in with some suggestions, so I won't make any possible edits just yet until I've studied his points as well.

~ in the original I do have spaces before and after the italicised 'Queen of the Sunday Roast' bit - I think the formatting here changed that so I'll see if I can fix - I also think you are right to suggest it's better as a quote.

~ 'as if it was normal
you can't remember how it's done.'

I wanted this to read as one sentence (imagine 'that' after normal), so I will keep this I think.

~ I liked the ? half-rhyme of 'garlic' with 'Pyrex', but I think dish would perhaps be more apt. Yes, 'hoping for' is the norm but I didn't want to repeat (necessarily) the 'for' from 'for inspection' which precedes, but then again, why not? Maybe I could and should.

~ I think the swapping around of the italicised bits in the last line makes a lot of sense and maybe has more impact, so I might change that, though your interpretation of my intention is correct. As is your interpretation of how I hoped the title would be taken.

Not picky at all - very useful, sensible and helpful comments/suggestions.

Drop by again, any time! ;o)

Thank you, John.

Kat :o)


Slovitt on 09-08-2006
Stuffing
Kat: This is a finely felt piece but I think you could get more from it if you reduced the number of repetitions that 'she' is not really here, physically, now. I suspect you are trying to be clear, to help the reader, but you remove the possibility for the reader to discover the poem, and 'understand' at the end, with recognition. I would cut 'as it was when you were really here.'/ from the first stanza, 'I glance again at the memory of the visit-'/ from the second stanza, and cut 'I see' from the second line of the third stanza. The reader needs to have it slowly dawn that the older woman is not really here, in the moment, even if it takes the reader a second reading, and then your 'you taught me all I know-don't go.'/ becomes doubly poignant. Anyway, to your attention. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep

It's great to have you pop by again - lovely to see you and thanks for taking the time. I think your suggestions are great and I will take this poem to the paper strewn editing room and have a rethink along with the super helpful hints from e-griff.

I hope all's well with you and that you are posting one of your great poems here again soon.

Kat :o)

Slovitt on 10-08-2006
Stuffing
Kat: You know it's been almost two weeks since someone called me 'lovely' so thanks. Beyond that, reading your poem with editions done, perhaps the reader does need a bit of help, perhaps with the re-introduction of one of the first two deletions that I suggested, or a variation of one of them re-introduced, or perhaps you could solve it all in the last line with something like 'you taught me all I know--why did you have to go'./ To your attention, see how your poem reads to you with just two of the three cuts I suggested, or maybe with a change in the last line to emphasize the absence. Or maybe, to be completely confusing, maybe it is just right as it is. I'll come back in a day, or two. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep

I must admit that I was going to retain line 2 (stanza 2) as the link from line 1 was a bit lost with its omission, I think. I will now re-insert (ooh-la-la!) and see how that goes... and leave it to cook! ;o) Thanks very much for popping back in again - have a great weekend!

Kat :o)

Albermund on 11-08-2006
Stuffing
Very moving and very, very nicely written. cheers, Albert

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Albert! I appreciate you letting me know - it's on slow cook at the moment as I've been tinkering with it again.

Kat :o)

littleditty on 11-08-2006
Stuffing
Well, it's still very good, may be better after the little bit of this and a little bit of that tinkering that's been going on, i think so, cooked to perfection - one to be proud of Kat, the appearing and disappearing memory comes across on different levels, and in the cry at the end, i felt anxiety/loss of a mind/memory,a loved one, reminding me of my grandmother too - a beautiful poem, cooked with love- well done Kat ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you, littledittydotty! :o)

I think it's baked now - I hope so - and maybe Swep will sweep back in and give me his Swep-seal of approval. I really appreciate that you have too.

Kat x

Griffonner on 14-08-2006
Stuffing
I thought this was very cleverly crafted, Kat. Really very cleverly done, because on the face of it it has a simple thread, yet actually is incredibly observational with just those snippets of description about the darling woman bringing some very clear images to the reader's mind.

There are those who believe that this condition is merely the deterioration of the outer self, while the inner self - the important permanent part - is, to coin a phrase, alive and well. But even so - certainly for the child carer, almost a complete role reversal, and one that can be so devastating in its cruelty.

A pity there is a ban on ratings, I would have delighted in giving another demonstration of my admiration of your skill in this.

With much respect and love,
Allen

Author's Reply:
Hi Allen



That's really a lovely, considered and very thoughtful comment which I really appreciate. I go along with this belief that you mention:



'while the inner self - the important permanent part - is, to coin a phrase, alive and well.'



because this belief is a great motivator to give the care the person needs and deserves, and puts a positive slant on an (admittedly) negative-seeming state of affairs. Some of the happiest places are those homes (and hospitals) where the carers have the right attitude, and the knock-on effect on the well-being of patients is tremendous.



Thank you again, Allen!



Kat x

Griffonner on 14-08-2006
Stuffing
I thought this was very cleverly crafted, Kat. Really very cleverly done, because on the face of it it has a simple thread, yet actually is incredibly observational with just those snippets of description about the darling woman bringing some very clear images to the reader's mind.

There are those who believe that this condition is merely the deterioration of the outer self, while the inner self - the important permanent part - is, to coin a phrase, alive and well. But even so - certainly for the child carer, almost a complete role reversal, and one that can be so devastating in its cruelty.

A pity there is a ban on ratings, I would have delighted in giving another demonstration of my admiration of your skill in this.

With much respect and love,
Allen

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 14-08-2006
Stuffing
"..unsure of its realm and your ranking." Love it. Somewhere and for all time these folk remember, you have reminded me of this... Dazza.


Author's Reply:
Hi Dazzler

Thank you! And I know that you have a great understanding and empathy for people with dementia as your wonderful story, 'Edith lost her last name in a house fire', shows.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Ionicus on 14-08-2006
Stuffing
Dear kitten, having come to this piece rather late I find that everybody else has said what I wanted to say. I can only concur with the fulsome praise expressed by everyone.
Love, Luigi.

Author's Reply:
Luigi, I'm delighted that you've popped in, and I appreciate you adding your comments very much. Thank you!

Kat x

Slovitt on 14-08-2006
Stuffing
Kat: Yes, I think you have done well, shifting it back-and-forth until now it is in focus. My seal gives his approval, two flippers up, though he did require a fish before he'd opine.
Swep

Author's Reply:
Two flippers, eh? That's not bad! :o) Thank you very much, Swep. I really do appreciate your time and opinion.

Kat x

Abel on 14-08-2006
Stuffing
Just superb, Kat...so lovingly written, and so heartfelt. The structure is well done, too...it speaks to all of us.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Ward, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I really do appreciate it.

Kat x


Sky Brown (posted on: 04-08-06)
Any comments/suggestions/tips gratefully received - thanks! :o)

It had been a sweltering summer and the school holidays were sliding in like greased flumes. The annual exodus of the Browns to Lanzarote, the last fortnight in July, had not induced the usual excitement. There had been a death in the family.      Mr and Mrs Brown had thought it important to continue with their routines. Thus, Jules and Justin had found themselves prodded out of bed on a Saturday morning to make the journey to Edinburgh airport. The customary argument between them, over who was going to use the bathroom first, was incised by a bellow from their mother,      ''Look, it's 6am, do you two think I'm up this early for the fun of it, or that I'm just back from my paper round? Jules can go in first, she takes longer. And remember - this is the first day of our holiday and it's meant to be fun!''      ''Thanks, Mum!'' roared Jules. With a smug smile she closed the bathroom door in Justin's face. That's just typical, thought Justin. Ladies first, ladies first. We men have always got to make allowances for the ladies.      Having had a barbecue three weeks ago for his fourteenth birthday, Justin wasn't quite a man yet, but he noticed he was expected to act like one. The sooner she leaves for uni the better, he continued to seethe. Only a couple more months, and I'm counting. He stomped into his The Darkness adorned bedroom. Mr Brown was also grumpy. He had hoped The Scotsman would have arrived by now, I notice number eighteen have theirs, he had mumbled.      ''What was that, Hugh?''      ''Nothing, Moira. If we leave at six-thirty as planned, I'll have time to pick up a paper at the airport. It's not that important though.'' What was important was getting them all to the apartment in Costa Teguise. That's just what Moira needs. It's what we all need. As Jules showered, she thought about her mum, and how it must feel to go through what she had. That's the hard part about growing up. Having to cope, carry on and put on a face. As much as adults might want to have a tantrum and burst into tears and run away - they couldn't. That was a luxury that belonged to childhood. Moira stood in the queue of the Travel Value shop. She couldn't help thinking about it. Packing the bottle of champagne into her flight bag, she had to admit she felt reasonably good. A bit ropey, granted, when the 'what ifs' started to pierce the bubble she had built around her feelings. The benefits of maturity she thought, being able to rationalise, understand and try to accept. And that's what she was doing, trying to accept her second daughter had been born dead.      The champagne was one of their traditions to celebrate the first night back in the apartment they'd come to think of as their second home. It had been an inheritance from Hugh's mother who had spent a lot of time there when his father had died. Hugh would proudly pitch the bottle into an ice bucket and polish the glasses, breathing on them first.      ''That's disgusting, Dad!'' Jules would inevitably say and he would reply,      ''No, it's not. Have a sip and see.'' And she would groan and say,      ''You know what I mean.'' It was 2pm by the time the Browns reached their destination in the dust-sprayed Suzuki off-roader.    Palm trees rustled in the wind which had no effect upon Justin's short spiky hair. He was already planning his first game of crazy golf and Jules was wondering if the cute guy at the juice bar would still be there, as she sucked on a sunglass leg.      On entering the apartment they were greeted with a welcome pack that Senor Cuevo, the concierge, had left: a basket of fruit; some Canarian potatoes and a jar each of their favourite red and green mojo. There was also a helium-filled donkey balloon. It read, 'Buenos dias, Sky!' and was attached to an antique crib. Jules and Justin looked towards their mother, while the colour drained from their father's face.      ''I'm so sorry, Moira,'' said Hugh. ''I arranged this with Senor Cuevo a few months ago. I totally forgot to say…''      ''It's beautiful.'' Moira stroked the dark wood, transfixed. She tugged on the balloon string and the donkey met her at eye-level.      ''Buenas tardes, Sky, it should say. You know we always get this flight.''      ''Let me get rid of it - I won't be long.''      ''No, please leave it. We can put it in our room.'' Justin and Hugh were enjoying themselves at crazy golf; Jules and Moira watched from the balcony. The champagne was chilling. Jules had set four long-stemmed glasses on the slatted table, before her dad had got the chance to breathe on them.      ''Hey, you two! It should be cold enough now. You coming up?''      ''OK, just let me beat Dad on one more hole!'' The Browns sat on the balcony with glasses raised. Justin had a Buck's Fizz. Jules sensed a continuum as she thought back to last summer and compared it with the events of this year. This might be her last trip with her family. Things changed. Life nudged you ahead and you could freefall or fly when faced with the brick wall of grief. Her parents were scaling it, and Jules had no doubt they'd paraglide hand-in-hand when they reached the top.      ''I'd like to make a toast,'' she announced. The setting sun was the perfect backdrop. ''To my wonderful parents - my annoying brother - and to Sky Brown.''          
Archived comments for Sky Brown
juliet on 04-08-2006
Sky Brown
i enjoyed the sentiment in this - Jules learning about dealing with what life throws at you as she is about to embark on her adult life.

However i think you try to do too much in too few words - to lift this piece I think you need to explore their feelings for the loss of the baby, through the way they interact with each other. You tell me how the mother is coping but don't show me, i want to see how she struggles to keep the Holiday normal and fun. How did she feel seeing the cot etc. Needs more show and less tell.

Juliet

Author's Reply:
Hi Juliet

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment and I appreciate what you are saying and agree to a certain extent. I think my slant here was more to simply try and show how Sky Brown was evidently still a part of the family (and always would be) and that this (being a few months down the road) was the continuity. I wanted the 'feelings' of the family members to be more of a given than to look at exploring them here. How we all have to go on with our lives despite the sadnesses in them, and how some people can be more stoic in their attempts than others. I'm not suggesting that I think I've managed to do that here, and I think perhaps I have tried to do too much. But I was thinking of patterns (life patterns) that people make for themselves and how these can help to keep people on track too, and because we often have no choice and can't afford to fall apart.

Thanks again - I really do appreciate you taking the time and would bear in mind your suggestions when revising.

Kat :o)

JonAyre on 04-08-2006
Sky Brown
I disagree with this whole show not tell stuff - for me its a writing style thing. Everyone writes from a different angle and it is the variety of styles that makes reading interesting. Personally I think the show versus tell argument is the same as the rhyme versus free-form debate. i.e. No right or wrong answer.

I liked the piece - i liked the way it was written. My only problem with it is that I find it hard to believe that there are families this well adjusted. As an inspiration to others as to how to deal with a situation it works well, but in reality events like this draw out the weaknesses and flaws in a family as well as the strengths. Maybe this piece needs another part to it? Perhaps a hint of tension and conflict that is finally being overcome? The sense of a journey coming to a close. In other words, position the story as the light at the end of the tunnel, but tell us a little more about the tunnel?

Maybe this is just my cynicism coming out, and there are families that draw together so comfortably; maybe not. Either way, I enjoyed the piece and your "telling" approach really worked for me, conjuring up a strong visual image of the family and the events around them.

Thanks
Jon A

Author's Reply:
Hi Jon

Many thanks! I think your suggestions are excellent and I do agree with you about the style aspect too. I didn't really want to suggest that this family was particularly well-adjusted (there had been plenty of emotion and sadness), but this was pitched a few months along the way so that's why your thought to hint at these past tensions etc and position the story as the light at the end of a tunnel are very good and helpful, though as I said to Juliet (above) I had wanted these to be more of an accepted given and that the angle was more of the continuity of everything, but that could well be not clear enough

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

juliet on 04-08-2006
Sky Brown
"I disagree with this whole show not tell stuff - for me its a writing style thing. Everyone writes from a different angle and it is the variety of styles that makes reading interesting. Personally I think the show versus tell argument is the same as the rhyme versus free-form debate. i.e. No right or wrong answer."

i think comparing show and tell to rhyme versus free-form is misleading. I totally agree that it is the voice or writing style that makes a piece unique. But what separates amateur writing from published writing is the ability to give the reader a chance to make up their own minds about characters and events, rather than being told what to think about the story. I don't want to be told someone is mean or jealous or sad - i want to feel it through the way they behave.

Show and tell have nothing to do with style - any structure can be stifled by too much tell and any structure can be transformed by show.

Clearly you have two opposing views here on the importance of developing this skill, but i know for me i will continue to strive to show in an original way, even if i don't always succeed.



Author's Reply:
Hi Juliet

Again, I think your comments are totally valid and I do agree. I certainly hadn't hoped to make the reader feel there was too much tell. My take on the lack of delving into the emotions of the events was the fact (as I've already said) that I thought this could be assumed and that there was (hopefully) room for the reader to consider how perhaps they might act.

I totally accept that this piece has its faults and I would definitely strive to take on board your very good suggestions, it's just that my intention was not to focus so much on the emotional aspect with this and I think Jon's suggestions (above) are good regarding a hint to the tensions and the positioning of the story. I'm aware of the skill of 'show not tell', whether I can implement it is another matter! ;o) And clearly this piece fails for you on that point.

Thanks again, and I look forward to reading some of your work.

Kat :o)

e-griff on 04-08-2006
Sky Brown
interesting contrast of views here. my own view on this is as follows:

'Show not tell' is closely bound up here with the narration and point of view.

while there may be (and obviously are) readers who are insensitive to rapid changes of POV, and an omniscient narrator (reportedly the most boring for a reader, although Bram Stoker did it :-)), there are other readers who are disturbed or unsatisfied by such writing. on the basis that you, the author, wish to have acceptance by the widest range of readers (at least you don't wanna upset or bore too many of them!) the best course is to follow the 'rules' that point to 'better' writing techniques. The insensitives won't mind, the sensitives will be happy - result! that's what I always try to think of when writing or editing.

Show not tell means implying people's emotions by their actions. It is more natural. Think of yourself, you look at a person and deduce if they upset or happy by what they do, what they say. You don't have a voice in your head that pronounces 'SHEILA IS HAPPY' in booming tones. Neither do you want that in a book - it's boring, intrusive, flat. The reader needs to guess, to get involved , to have emotions - 'no, she's not going to....' etc THAT's what makes good, interesting writing. NOT a rehearsal of events: X happened, Y was shocked and responded badly and did Z Then A happened, - boring!!!!

'Rules' - what are they? Sometimes made to be broken, I agree. But only when you know them and why you are breaking them. (people who say 'I write for myself' (er, then post here) or 'I won't be constricted by rules', end up with little appreciation (except for the odd genius of course).

Rules, at best are a distillation. Looking at what people say 'that was a bloody good read' about and analysing why. So they say 'Hey!' omniscient narrator doesn't come across that well, most readers (note the most) prefer a personal point of view. Most readers get confused if the POV switches too rapidly too often... etc Wise words from writers who've been at it for years and learned their lessons the hard way. (and aren't we all still learning?)

So no, it's not a bad lttle story. But IMO it would be better if you apply a few of the techniques which any web search will divulge to you, or you may find on this site to help you. I think you'll find it's worth it. very best JohnG ๐Ÿ™‚



Author's Reply:
Hi John

''Show not tell' is closely bound up here with the narration and point of view.' I definitely agree with you here, and many thanks for taking the time to explain very clearly (and kindly) a few very helpful pointers. I definitely see that this piece has flaws and I will consider all the suggestions offered to me thus far.

The omniscient POV is one I could not claim to be so skilled in (if I can claim ANY skills!), ;o) My personal preference is for first person as much of my work is in, as it feels more natural (and easier) for me to try and get into/under the skin of others that way. :o)

I'm all for striving to learn and adopt techniques to enhance writing and (hopefully) make it better, but I'm also an advocate of 'instinctual' writing and going with the flow (of inspiration?) and not being too bogged down in 'technicalities' and 'contrivances'. And with writing, sometimes you win, sometimes you don't - it's all very subjective as we know. I read many things that I think and know are very well-written, but they don't do anything for me because I don't think they're coming from the author's heart, and I think (often), what's the point? An exercise in 'good writing' perhaps, but what has it 'communicated' to the reader/me?

Thanks again for taking the time which I really do appreciate.

Kat :o)

niece on 05-08-2006
Sky Brown
Kat,
The feelings of "been there, done that" (went on a long driving holiday with hubby...I can remember every single detail of that trip)...probably that's what's made me love this bit of fiction...I especially loved the way the words flow...
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Thank you very much for letting me know your thoughts which I really do appreciate, especially in view of 'been there, done that' as you say.

Your comments mean a lot as although I can see the flaws of this piece of writing, I had hoped it might have a resonance for some people, and although we all know about emotion in the face of personal losses, I wanted to consider what we do (afterwards), and how we might 'position' grief in our lives. I don't suggest that I have got that right here, but this was the aspect I wanted to consider.

Thanks again, niece, and big hearty hugs to you for sharing your thoughts.

Kat x

e-griff on 05-08-2006
Sky Brown
just to clarify...

I agree with you absolutely that there are technically perfect stories that follow all the rules, and the authors have learned everything by the book. But their output is simply not very good. I am NOT saying technique is the only key to 'good writing' ๐Ÿ™‚

Writing is a blend of imagination, storytelling ability AND technique. The best writing has all of that.

You can't learn imagination and storytelling. You CAN learn technique, and once you have, it becomes instinctive (like riding a bike).

Good technique shows respect for your readers, IMO.

very best wishes and sorry for banging on a bit and focusing what are actually more general comments unfairly on your story ๐Ÿ™‚ JohnG

Author's Reply:
Hi John

Thanks for popping in again, and I understood where you were coming from and didn't think that you were suggesting that technique is the only key to good writing etc.

I agree with your 'blends recipe' for good writing and that the best writing likely has this mix, and it's up to the alchemist (in us all) to make the gold! :o) And yes, to get to the stage where it's instinctual... BUT... I would posit that imagination and storytelling can be learned in the sense that our expression of it is filtered through the test tube of technique! :o) Because we all have imagination and the ability to relay it through stories and good technique makes that more successful. Which all means that I'm agreeing with you really... :o)

Good technique is... GOOD... for its own sake. I wouldn't want the thought of the reader/market to sway me too much (personally), but then considering such would depend on your writing goals... and I'm likely naive in these matters! ;o)

I respect and go along with much/most of what you say and thanks for taking the time, because I find this all very interesting.

Salut!

Kat :o)

juliet on 05-08-2006
Sky Brown
it is really nice to see an author take on board comments, I did like the story Kat, hence why i took the time to comment, and i can see you are open to ideas and criticism so i will look out for more of your work.

I too need and desire constructive crit - feel free to get your teeth in.

Author's Reply:
Will do, juliet! :o) It's always good to have new people on the site, and being open to each other's suggestions is surely what posting here is all about.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Kazzmoss on 06-08-2006
Sky Brown
This was very touching and very nicely written. I liked the way you kept the death in the background as it would be so easy to make this the centre of the story. We had to wait to find out who it was and didn't expect that. Some lovely play on words too, really thoughtful. I especially loved the reference at the end where Jules could fly over the wall because she was young, but her parents would have to climb, but would come down together, that spoke volumes. A lovely piece of writing. Kazz

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Kazz. I very much appreciate you taking the time to read and let me know your thoughts, and popping back in again when you read the other comments. :o)

Yes, constructive crit is essential, and when given and received in the right spirit, makes for a very helpful environment.

Thanks again, and I hope you're posting some of your own work again soon.

Kat :o)


Kazzmoss on 06-08-2006
Sky Brown
After posting my comment, I then went back to read other people's comments. I find it better to comment first than be influenced by what has already been said.
I'd just like to say that being an amateur writer found that it's made me think about my own writing too.
You're very gracious, Kat and I, too, like to take on board what people say and learn from it.
It's refreshing to see people doing that as I've seen threads turn bad when advice or points of view are offered. It's what this place should really be about, isn't it ๐Ÿ™‚ - Kazz

Author's Reply:

jay12 on 08-08-2006
Sky Brown
I think this piece could be expanded and more of each characters feelings be brought out. But as a bit of flash fiction I think its A-OK!

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Jay, thank you very much for taking the time to read and let me know your thoughts. I definitely agree that a bit more of an explanation and 'show' re the characters feelings would be in order, along the lines of what JonAyre kindly suggested.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)


Blue Bottle and Lemon (posted on: 31-07-06)
~

You catch my eye grab my attention blue midnight beauty emanating rainbow highlighting purple. Juxtaposed citrus I can smell you, like sweet lemonade or rind in my Martini. You are meant to be together - your symbiosis merges my thoughts to yours and I know there is still life.
Archived comments for Blue Bottle and Lemon
bluepootle on 31-07-2006
Blue Bottle and Lemon
A beautiful stillness to this Kat - not sure about the phrasing in the last verse but no other quibbles on my part. I enjoyed it.

Author's Reply:
Hi blue

Many thanks for popping in to comment - much appreciated. Yes, I can see your point about the last verse - I quite like it - though I'll have a wee think about an alternative too. Thanks again!

Kat :o)

scotch on 31-07-2006
Blue Bottle and Lemon
lovely...scotch

Author's Reply:
Thanks, scotch!

Kat :o)

orangedream on 01-08-2006
Blue Bottle and Lemon
agree, wholeheartedly. Enjoyed. When I read it out loud, it had a nice sound to it. Thankyou Kat.

kind regards
orangedream:-)

Author's Reply:
Thanks a lot, orangedream! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat :o)

Sunken on 01-08-2006
Blue Bottle and Lemon
Aren't Blue bottles just big flies? Why do they get a fancy name? It's sizest if you ask me... I know that no one did ask me Ms. Kat, but no one ever does so I have to ask myself these troublesome questions. I like your poem more than Trudy (a girl I knew at school who was quite fit). I hope this helps.
Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

steals from magpies

Author's Reply:
Love your questioning mind, Sunky, and it's always great to see that you've popped in with your wisdom. Thank you!

Kat x

Elfine on 01-08-2006
Blue Bottle and Lemon
I love your tone here, Kat. You've found the beauty in a seemingly banal moment. I also love the word 'symbiosis' (I think I used it in one of my own poems)... maybe I should use it more often in conversations about blue bottles!
Elfine x

Author's Reply:
Elfine, many thanks for taking the time to read and comment - great to hear from you. I wrote this a couple of years ago when I was very taken with a beautiful painting of (funnily enough!) a blue bottle and a lemon. It was at a library for a writing group I was attending, and I just had to pen this wee poem which I left for the artist.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 04-08-2006
Blue Bottle and Lemon
Kat, a very neat and tidy poem. Nice to read.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

Many thanks for reading and commenting - much appreciated!

Kat :o)


You Were Different (posted on: 28-07-06)
~

You carried a lily of the valley posy and a shiny white prayer book. Tippi Hedren chic, I gasped at your stilettos - they gave me vertigo. I wondered why I wasn't there but I was underneath your waistband. My father takes your right arm leading you from the parish church promising twenty-one years of married life. A red MG Midget sprites you to a modest reception at your mother's house with home-made wedding cake. My father's parents don't know he's wed you, yet. They don't like you, they don't approve of you, they don't want a slice of your fruitiness - you were different. When I was midwife-delivered in Gran's bedroom, four-walled in gaudy wallpaper, I felt that. As I nestled in your arm's crook, I could feel your difference through my woolly mitts.
Archived comments for You Were Different
Jolen on 29-07-2006
You Were Different
Oh Kat!

This is nice, as it works on different levels.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 29-07-2006
You Were Different
Kat, a very inventive piece. In my eyes, worthy of a Favourite Read.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
I've tried to reply a few times already, hope this works...

Thank you, Dargo, and for making this a fav - very much appreciated. I hope you're having a good weekend.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 29-07-2006
You Were Different
I can just see you sitting there with that old wedding photo...a delicate and touching little cameo, beautifully done.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Roy! I really appreciate that comment.

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 29-07-2006
You Were Different
You drew me in from the first line and I enjoyed every single line after that!
Well done, Kat - I think it should have a nib. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann

Thank you very much for reading this and letting me know your thoughts - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Sunken on 29-07-2006
You Were Different
Brilliant Kat. As usual, me being slow, I had to re-read it. That's a fault with my wiring tho and not of your poem.
Well done indeed. I'd have given a ten if you'd have let me )-:
Story of my life.

s
u
n
k
e
n

from the cradle to the shave



Author's Reply:
Hi Sunky one

It's always lovely to see that you've dropped by - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

niece on 31-07-2006
You Were Different
Beautiful poem, Kat...could see the images floating before my eyes

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, niece! Good to hear from you as always.

Kat :o)

pencilcase on 03-08-2006
You Were Different
Kat,

I find this an extremely good poem that is well worth the nib-nom. Loads of good stuff in its progression. You combine that left-branching adjectidal style (am I talking bollocks?) that is a German thing, without losing the well-aimed Englishness of it.

Love 'Tippi Hedren chic' versus 'vertigo'. Strong opening. Also, 'four-walled in gaudy wallpaper' is very impressive.

Like the whole thing, actually. Very well done, from my point of view.

Alles Gute,

Grey Twit

Author's Reply:
Hi Great Wit! :o)

You, talking bollocks? NEIN! NIE! Hehe, you always give me a chuckle with your very 'erudite' comments (and not because I'm laughing at them!). Thank you for taking the time with this, Steve, and, heavens! imagine if the German language is rubbing off on me - it took a while! ;o)

I hope all is well with you at pencilcase manor... frying tonight? ;o)

Cheers

Kat x

littleditty on 03-08-2006
You Were Different
KAT - i was going to say OH KAT! - but that Jolen of America said it for me as i scrolled down - i think this is a wonderful poem! Happy summer Kat xldx

Author's Reply:
Hi ditty one, it's so lovely to hear from you again. I hope your summer is going zip zap zippily. Many thanks for your comment which I really appreciate. I hope you'll be posting again soon, my friend.

Kat x

discopants on 04-08-2006
You Were Different
It's one of those poems that when you get to the end you find yourself referring back to the rest of it to make sure you've got the full flavour of the poem. Beautifully written- my favourite phrase was 'the MG Midget sprites you', almost giving an other-worldly quality.

Author's Reply:
Hi disco

Thank you for a really touching comment - very much appreciated!

Kat :o)


His and Hers (posted on: 24-07-06)
Any suggestions/comments gratefully received. :o)

Mandy's throbbing head anchored her to the pillow. Her stomach lunged but she reckoned if she could just make it as far as the bathroom cabinet and the Andrews Liver Salts - an old faithful from home - she'd be fine. Hen nights or Junggesellinabschied were one thing, but surprise hen nights when you had to work at six in the morning, were in another dimension. And imagine a nurse having to be well enough to work after a night out, without Lucozade? The bubbles pricked Mandy's nose as she steadied herself by the side of the bath and worked up the strength to press two paracetamol from their foil, and shower.      Stefan still wasn't back from his kidnapping to Cologne – she didn't envy him, but at least it was Saturday and he could take the weekend to recover. She shook her head at German traditions – stag night by abduction, and words much longer than they surely needed to be - but it swam off without her.      She pulled up the wooden shutters and saw the enthusiastic promise of a sunny day. It hurt. Dressed in white trousers and a T-shirt with a red cross over her right breast, she grabbed a bottle of mineral water from the kitchen and turned to hear clumping sounds in the hall. Stefan was back – Mandy took one look at his face - or was he? Mandy sneezed twice as she dusted lily-of-the-valley talc under each of Frau Hartmann's precision-dried oxters.      'Gesundheit!' Frau Hartmann said.      'Danke.' Mandy was on auto-pilot as she held the cotton vest for Frau Hartmann to poke bony limbs through. Stefan's eyes had looked like they belonged to Wile E. Coyote after an Acme explosion – all dilated pink whirls.      'You look tired,' Frau Hartmann said, sympathetically.      'I didn't sleep well last night,' Mandy replied. She then explained in stilted German and Frau Hartmann slapped one of her shiny white thighs at the antics. Coffee smells percolated to the bathroom and merged with peachy shower cream. That didn't help.      Mandy's first job on arriving at Frau Hartmann's was to put out fresh water and a splodge of Caesar dog food for Heidi the dachshund. This was the only way Heidi would stop barking and weaving in and out of Mandy's legs. She'd set a place at the breakfast table and arrange havarti cheese and salami on a plate alongside a small ceramic dish of jam and some alpine butter. Frau Hartmann's son would drop off the Br๖tchen. Making a pot of coffee was a pleasure that Mandy enjoyed though she didn't drink it herself. There was something about knowing that as you helped to wash and dress your patients, the aromatic fluid would be filtering through, doing its job as surely as you were doing yours. But Mandy wasn't feeling sure this morning as she took deep breaths and thought mind over matter.      'Morgen, Heidi!' said Frau Hartmann as Mandy walked her through to the cosy floral kitchen. Heidi continued with her rabbit stew-flavoured meal – she was deaf, and the food took her a while as she had to mostly suck on it. She'd eventually patter over to join Frau Hartmann becoming a hairy brown log beside her slippered foot.      'Do you need anything else?' asked Mandy, taking a mug of coffee over.      'No, that's all, I think. Thank you very much, Nurse Mandy. I hope you feel better soon.' She gestured a buttered knife in Auf Wiedersehen! Mandy took off her sunglasses and rolled the car window down. She was sat outside Frau Weiss' house. It was getting worse – her head was even thicker and her stomach had had enough. There was no way she could visit Frau Weiss without being sick… NOW!      She hoped the neighbours hadn't seen as she rinsed her mouth, gargled and spat into the road. She managed to be breezier as she pressure-bandaged Frau Weiss' swollen leg with a Pfefferminze bulging in her cheek. However, by the time Mandy got to the third landing of Frau Walther's block, a cactus plant on the window sill was the only receptacle.      The most unfortunate moment had been when Mandy had helped Herr Brandt out of the bath. He'd just turned to let her dry his back when, bam! There she was with her head down the toilet leaving him to stare and air.      'I'm so sorry, Herr Brandt. It must have been something I ate.' By nine thirty, Mandy's colleague, Sven, had agreed to take over the care of her last few patients. The special wine tonic that Frau Schmidt had asked to be splashed on her back had been the final decisive straw – she had to go home. The bedroom was in darkness – not a peep of light ushered through the shutters.      'Ugh,' said Stefan.      'It's only me. How you feeling?'      'Basin.'      'Oh, right. I'd better get one for me as well.' How romantic thought Mandy. There was nothing quite like a bout of simultaneous vomiting to bond with your future husband. And how sweet of Stefan to gently rub her back when she reached for her basin, while she snickered and fired, serves you right! when he reached for his.     
Archived comments for His and Hers
bluepootle on 24-07-2006
His and Hers
Hi Kat,

Bleurgh! I enjoyed the attention to detail of the smells and sights that always seem to make a hangover worse, and a lovely last para that gives us an insight into the relationship with her fiance.

Overall I think you could be clearer in the direction of the piece - is this about her thoughts and feelings re her marriage? Her job? I think you want to give us a snapshot of her life but I think you need to build in some stronger emotions, maybe reminiscences, to get it to work and for the reader to get involved.

Also, the starting point of the bed is quite passive, and not immediately interesting. Maybe start with the shower, or even at Frau Hartmann's - then you could explain the back story of the night out as a conversation, as you say she explains it anyway. That would hook the reader more, and we start with the great image of the talc and the sneezing. Hope that helps.

Author's Reply:
Oops! Reply for you below - thanks again!

Kat x

Kat on 24-07-2006
His and Hers
Hi blue

I really appreciate your comments which are very very helpful - thank you!

Yes, the bit about the talc was actually the first sentence/idea that came to me and I see your point about perhaps starting with it.

You are also right about the lack of emotion in this (which isn't like me!) ;o) but I think I was trying to put across a certain flatness to go with the hangover. Also, I did think about threading in some details of the night out, but my focus was more on Mandy doing her job (or trying to) which is why I guess, I snipped on other aspects.

Thanks again for taking the time to make some great and super suggestions which I will definitely take on board.

I hope your book launch went well!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

niece on 25-07-2006
His and Hers
Very romantic indeed, Kat...:)

Tho' I rather prefer to run a mile when someone is throwing up(I don't do that when the kids are sick), I liked this story and enjoyed the humour...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Yes, I know what you mean, niece, lol, but needs must sometimes! Hehe. Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment.

Kat x

RoyBateman on 25-07-2006
His and Hers
What a sorry pair! No, we shouldn't laugh, should we? Oh, all right then - serves 'em right! An unusual slice of humour, but a very entertaining one...good detail, and I thought the opening line was a good attention-grabber. Different, but a great read!

Author's Reply:
Thank you, lovely Roy! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Cheers

Kat :o)

robbie on 28-07-2006
His and Hers
Enjoyable, humourous, well-detailed; lively narratoR; confident use of words - the beginning particularly. As a sketch of the couple, the end is great, and rings true, as does the piece as a whole. I would have concentrated perhaps on one of Mandy's clients, and built up the detail, and built in the character of that one person, before Mandy's projective collapse! Ie made a 'sketch' of it. Anyway, enjoyed.
Best wishes
Rob

Author's Reply:
Hi Rob

That's a great comment and your suggestion is a super one. Thanks very much for reading and taking the time with this.

Kat :o)

calisto on 30-07-2006
His and Hers
Although my hangovers are many years behind me (Gott sei dank!) this brought it all back. Not literally of course, but I don't know if I wanted it all brought back. Thank you! Kat.

Author's Reply:
Hehe, sorry about that, calisto! Thank you for reading.

Kat :o)

RDLarson on 30-07-2006
His and Hers
I never had hangovers for years; now I do. Pity the two lovers and passing the barf and ban-ff bags. Good work here!

Author's Reply:
Cheers for reading, RD! Much appreciated.

Kat :o)


Swimming Pool (posted on: 24-07-06)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting School holidays herald the flux of teenage bodies to the two-toned blue pool. Flexing boys with bendy straw midriffs laugh and joke girls poke pink-varnished toes in the flickering water. Fluttering in their flimsies they giggle at the belly flopping over the edge of the peacock's leopard-skin trunks. Screaming kids wave frenetic arms fluming on permanent replay. Toddlers with baby-toothed grins flail feet looking up to greet admirers. Elderly men patrol and stand hands behind backs wearing peaked caps. Parasols, Weinschorles sunscreen, ice cream, Pommes frites with Mayo - sun glassed depression floats, lies low on a lilo flaps its wings, splashes and flies.
Archived comments for Swimming Pool
orangedream on 24-07-2006
Swimming Pool
Hi there Kat.

My word! What a marvellously descriptive picture you paint with this wonderful poem. Lovely though the photo is - the poem says it all and more. Some great lines in it. Especially enjoyed:-

"Sun glassed depression floats"

and

"Screaming kids wave frenetic arms
fluming on permanent reply..."

Yes - thinking of my own kids - I've been there, done that!

Thanks for taking me again.

:-)orangedream

Author's Reply:
Thank you, orangedream! I'm glad you dropped by with a great comment - thanks for pointing out some of the lines you liked too.

Cheers

Kat :o)

eddiesolo on 24-07-2006
Swimming Pool
Great piece Kat.

Takes me right back as a kid at the water-park at Scarborough. Many an hour, happy and sad (I was a chubby child...still am...a chubby child lol) splashing and messing, taunted and crying.

Very descriptive, enjoyed very much.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Thanks, Si! Really appreciate you reading and commenting. Yes, tears and smiles, that sounds about right... bet you were a lovely kiddy! ;o)

Cheers

Kat :o)

niece on 24-07-2006
Swimming Pool
I could almost hear the shrieks of excitement and the splash of water as I read this...your poem definitely evokes the holiday mood...a very nice poem!

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Oh yes... bring the holidays on! Thanks very much for reading and commenting.

Kat :o)

Gerry on 24-07-2006
Swimming Pool
You just about covered it all here Kat, very nicely done...

Gerry. xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

Always lovely to see that you've popped in - thanks very much for reading and commenting!

Kat x

potleek on 25-07-2006
Swimming Pool
Not sure whether you relish the holidays or hate them as what it brings...screaming kids.
But you picture sure looks nice, need peace and quiet to enjoy it...Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony

I love the summer sun and bright blue water, preferably the ocean, and the Caribbean would do! ;o) Yes, peace and quiet or nothing too hectic goes with that for me as well... but these holiday occasions are full of life and vitality and pool or beach scenes are people-watching opportunities for a number of reasons! :o)

Thank you for dropping by - I took this pic last week when we were up at the local pool which has a great view of vineyards (immediately below it) and the city of Wiesbaden, here in Germany. Hope to go again this week.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Sunken on 25-07-2006
Swimming Pool
Hello Ms. Kat. Your poem is more lovely than a cooling dip. Not that you'd get me dipping. I prefer to lounge around and ogle the semi-clad ladies from behind dark shades. God, I sound really pervy don't I? I really must change my ways.

s
u
n
k
e
n

in charge of inflatable... wings

Author's Reply:
Hi Munky

Lovely to hear from you! Love your wings! ;o) Thanks for flying in.

Kat x

shackleton on 25-07-2006
Swimming Pool
Northern Europeans letting it all hang out, in those basking summer days, Kat. I love that description of 'Flexing boys with bendy straw midriffs'. So apt!

Harking back to my 'German' days, I have horrible memories of huge horse-flies hanging around outdoor swimming pools, waiting to gorge on the blood of vulnerable young Englanders.

Enjoyed your poem. Take care now.

Author's Reply:
*chuckles* Good to hear from you, Mr Shacks! Thanks for reading and commenting. The bit you highlighted was the starting point for the poem - I was surrounded by 'bendy straw midriffs'! ;o) I hope all's well with you.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 26-07-2006
Swimming Pool
Kat, you created an atmosphere in your lovely poem that plunged me into the two-tone, blue pool and left me refreshed.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

That pleases me no end! Many thanks for reading and it's good to see you around again.

Kat :o)


Barbara's Wednesdays (posted on: 17-07-06)
Edited with thanks to suggestions from discopants and Tai-Li - not quite sure if I've over-dramatised now (or made Bob into a drama queen? Help ma boab!) Off to bang my head against a brick wall to see if that helps! ;o)

It was Tuesday night, and like every Tuesday night, Barbara took one of her mother's dresses from the old mahogany wardrobe in the spare room and hobbled across the landing in a pair of heeled slippers, whose instep didn't quite match hers. The smell of moth balls followed like a bridal train.      The Paisley print cotton dress hung on the back of Barbara's bedroom door. Patterns swirled in purples and pinks – fat teardrops of faded colour. Barbara's big hands reached for the shoebox that contained a lavender pair of court shoes – size nine. She gently unwrapped the shoes from their tissue duvets then rubbed them against her freshly shaven cheeks. Barbara loved leather shoes and the ritual of finding just the right accoutrements to complement them. Bob had been returning some books at his local library when the ad caught his eye: Are you creative and female? Women's Writing Group seeks new members. Meets every Wednesday at 7pm in Pasadena Central Library. Contact Jillian on (626) 246 8101 for further information. He knew this was his chance. He kept replaying the notice as he threw fruit, veg and ready meals into his basket at Ralph's supermarket. It was time. Mid-May and the jacaranda trees waved their lilac-coloured blossoms like cheerleaders as Barbara passed into the city limits of the Los Angeles suburb. Driving along the freeway from Ventura had been a trial – she had assumed the lavender courts would have been more than broken in, but the combination of the southern Californian heat and the 60 denier had caused her feet to swell and she daren't slip them off.      As she waited at several sets of traffic lights along Colorado Boulevard, Barbara checked her face in the mirror of the sun visor. Blond curls gave her face a cherub-like quality and her chocolate brown eyes looked huge under heavy mascara flakes. Her pouted lips were like two strawberry candies stuck together – she wasn't sure if this was good, so she un-pouted and practised a pleased-to-meet-you smile. This had brought a smile in return from the coloured lady dressed in shabby greyness who crossed the road as the Walk signal flashed. She pulled an over-laden trolley of worldly goods. Barbara thought she had a certain charm and radiance - perhaps a dignity that came from having nowhere further to fall.      Shadows played on the foothills as Barbara reversed the Chevy into a white parallel-lined space. She switched off the engine and powdered her nose. Her mother's dress wasn't as cool to wear as it'd looked and her thighs were sticking together despite the air-conditioned ride. She reached for her lavender shoulder bag which contained a pencil case, a lined A4 college block, a bottle of mineral water and a cigar (for the journey home). A woody dampness met Barbara's recently-tweezed nostrils as she crossed the threshold. Voices hummed from the left where a group of about ten women sat around a large oak table. The floorboards creaked as she stepped out on shapely American tan legs in the direction of the wide-eyed and open-mouthed members.      'Right, everyone,' said Jillian. 'This is Barbara, a newbie. Could you introduce yourselves then we'll choose our five words of inspiration and begin.' Barbara pulled out a wobbly wooden chair and slotted herself between Hi, I'm Lindsay and Great to meet you, I'm Shelley. She grabbed her pad and fumbling in her pencil case for a pen, came up with a panatella.      'Barbara, would you like to start us off with a word?' Jillian asked. 'The idea is that we each write freely for twenty minutes and then share with each other. Does that sound OK?' Barbara swapped her panatella for a biro,      'Oh right. Well - er - how about 'ocean'?'      'Super, Barbara! Anyone want to come up with a number or a colour?' Jillian's voice whirred around the group like the overhead fan. 'Right, that's almost twenty to eight. Who'd like to go first?' Jillian's enquiring face swivelled towards the lady sitting opposite Barbara. Barbara couldn't remember her name but thought her fine white hair was trying to take off.      'Lizzie?' Jillian's glasses perched on her nose. Lizzie rustled through several sheets of crumpled-looking paper and began to read. What she read didn't make a lot of sense to Barbara, but she was warming to these women who appeared to accept her, as a 'her'. Lizzie's tale came to an end: My cockatoo is my best friend.      'Er, Lizzie, isn't that the same story you read last week?' Jillian's brow wrinkled.      'Is it? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise,' Lizzie drawled.      'No matter. Who would like to go next? Barbara thought she might as well get it over with. She cleared her throat. Bob pushed the accelerator down firmly and steadily with a stockinged foot. The blond wig lay on the passenger seat - it was too hot to wear any longer. Palm tree silhouettes hovered above him nodding their fronds in approval (or so it seemed to Bob). He cruised back to Ventura with the cigar sat snugly between his ruby-rouged lips, his own dank hair a helmet. The thick smoke leapt through the open window, following the cool twilight air to the Pacific. Back in Pasadena, a handful of women sipped hot drinks in Denny's before stretching out across the suburb like threads of wool.      'Her reading was beautiful – it was so moving and downright tragic,' said Shelley cupping a hot chocolate. 'Imagine waving to your mom as she drowned - a tiny tot not realising? Shelley's incredulous eyes fluttered. 'Imagine the realisation of what you've witnessed, when you're old enough to know?'      'But… she is evidently a he!' said Jillian dangling a camomile teabag.      'Does that really matter?' asked Lindsay.      'She reminded me of my cockatoo,' said Lizzie. 'All fine feathers and all.'      'I suppose it doesn't really matter, does it?' said Jillian. 'And it obviously really matters to Barbara.' Lizzie rubbed the top of her head with a polishing motion. A silvery crest stood to attention. Bob removed his makeup and studied his hair banded reflection. If he could be Barbara once a week, he could cope with being Bob for the rest.
Archived comments for Barbara's Wednesdays
niece on 17-07-2006
Barbaras Wednesdays
Liked this, Kat...quite unusual and bright...and for a change, not depressing in spite of the subject.
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Hope things are well with you and that Mumbai is continuing to tick over. Many thanks for reading this and giving it your time - very much appreciated. No, it's not meant to be depressing, just a story about someone trying to find themselves like many of us are I guess, and some have it harder than others, eh?

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

discopants on 17-07-2006
Barbaras Wednesdays
I enjoyed this; at the very beginning, I was thinking that it was a young girl trying onher mother's dress until the 'her freshly shaven cheeks' line- I double-checked that before continuing and then the lightbulb popped on in my head.

The only suggestion I could make is perhaps at the end, one of the women, in discussing his reading, makes reference to the subject or plot of his story, thus giving us a hint into why Bob is trying his hand at being Barbara or unhappy at being himself at all.

Author's Reply:
Hi disco

Thanks for popping in to read and I appreciate your comments very much. I think your suggestion is a very good one and I will put my thinking cap on about that as someone else (off site) had suggested something similar. *dons jester-like cap with bells on*

Thanks again!

Kat :o)


Evelyn (posted on: 30-06-06)
This is perhaps more a flash of fiction than flash fiction - it's on the cutting room floor (at the moment) from the novel I'm working on as I've decided to omit the first person narrative for this character and show Evelyn through the main character's narrative instead. I was fond of her though. :o)

I know I left it around here. I know I did. Now, where is it? Under my pillow? No. In my dressing gown pocket? No. Oh well, if in doubt, have a ciggie. Rummages in bedside drawer. This drawer is full of crap. So that's where you've been hiding? Pops upper denture into mouth and lights up an Embassy Regal King Size.      What's wrong with this clock? Presses random buttons - the blue digits of the radio alarm flash on and off. Where's Terry Wogan? There are three sharp raps at the front door - keys twisting in locks.      'Morning, Evelyn!'      'Rona. I'm glad it's you. I'm in a muddle. Not feeling great after yesterday. My head is mince.'      'I'll get the kettle on and you'll be right as rain in no time. Toast and marmalade?'      'Oh no, I couldn't eat a thing. Just tea with a spot of milk, please.' The sound of water and the clinking clatter of Evelyn's supper dishes. I can't get going at all. It's always like this when I've been up early. Rushing to the toilet. I think it's clean now. I don't want that Lizzie fussing. Queen Lizzie with her sour face, making me feel bad with her 'not again, Evelyn!'      Rona isn't like that. Nothing is too much trouble. We have a good giggle. I think she likes me. The time runs quick when she's here, but twenty minutes isn't long. Sometimes less when someone's off sick.      'Was that you having a banquet again last night, Evelyn?' Laughter. You must have used every plate you've got!'      'Chance would be a fine thing. Unless my daughter had been round. That's her speciality.'     'Were those M&S stovies any good?'     'They were rotten! Don't tell them I said that.'      My head hurts. Too early for talk. I'll feel better after my tablets. The nurses should be here soon. Damn dosette-box – too hard for me.      'Right, that's me until the weekend. Got the next two days off. You try and behave yourself until then!'      'Oh, I'll try Rona, but I'm not promising anything!' One-two-three up. This wheelie thing's as stiff as me.      'What you haven't got on that trolley isn't worth mentioning. There's no need to get up, Evelyn – see you Saturday morning!' The bottom tray contains a hairbrush, a comb, Nivea face cream, a jar of Vaseline, a packet of jelly babies and letters/unpaid bills. The top tray has an unfinished mug of coffee on it and a half-eaten slice of toast. Pride of place goes to two packets of cigarettes, three lighters and a fresh ashtray.      'Bye, Rona!' That's chilly, where's my other dressing gown? Closes and locks door after Rona and heads back to bedroom. This trolley is worse than at Tescos – I can't walk with it. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. Watch the speed bumps. Peeks through bedroom window. I like a quiet street, quiet neighbours. Rona's very thin. Hard worker. Everything in the garden is rosy. Is it? I'm not sure – I'll ask Megan. Where is she? When are her days off?      I know two things for sure. I am fifty-four years old and I need a cigarette. Chuckles.
Archived comments for Evelyn
niece on 30-06-2006
Evelyn
Kat,
Quite an unusual and interesting approach/angle...a good read!
regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

I hope you're well. Thank you for popping in and commenting. It is a bit of an experimental piece, trying to get the right voice, etc. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it.

Kat x

Sunken on 01-07-2006
Evelyn
Hello Ms. Kat. This is a bit different to your usual. I like it more than thick juicy toast. A joy to read young Kat in a flap.

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Author's Reply:
Hi Munky

Thanks for popping in - tis always a pleasure - many thanks for commenting.

Katflap :o)


Game Over (posted on: 26-06-06)
Edited, with thanks to Gothicman!

Life was a game to you whose rules you didn't want to play by. Maybe your puny fury was fed by a weak cocktail. Possibly you aspired to be the murderer you are on the small screen in your bedroom. We witness your lead role in security footage – a thirty second killing spree hook to jaw then silver in-out-in, in-out-in an immature emasculation of yourself. But you've committed an adult crime an unprovoked and brutal act. His parents want us all to see your starring moment. A man should give his best performance not his worst.
Archived comments for Game Over
Abel on 26-06-2006
Game Over
An eerie piece of strange beauty...you write with substantial power, Kat. Well done!

Ward

Author's Reply:
Hi Ward

Thank you very much for popping in here and commenting - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

blackdove on 26-06-2006
Game Over
This makes me think of the Damilola Taylor trial going on right now.
Says a lot about fame and infamy and the irresponsible power of newspapers and children thinking they came be in news for all the wrong reasons.
Powerful.
Jem x



Author's Reply:
Thanks, Jem - I appreciate you reading and commenting. The Damilola situation was and is so tragic as I believe his parents are still fighting for justice.

I was inspired to write this after a news story last week that Sky News covered... it's so hard to understand why people (especially youngsters) want to play a 'game' where there can never be any winners, or is it about (as you suggest) the possible 'street cred' of infamy. I do think that irresponsible and inflammatory media reporting can be an evil. Heartbreaking.

I'm sure you're looking forward to your course starting in October?

Kat x

ruadh on 27-06-2006
Game Over
I thought the same as Jem and linked it to Damilola, I was watching it on the news the other day. Powerful words Kat, particularly the last verse. Well done.

love ailsa

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Ailsa. I really appreciate you taking the time to read. All the best to you!

Kat x

orangedream on 29-06-2006
Game Over
Agree with all the above - very strong poem and extremely relevant to our present-day society, unfortunately. Well written.

Ty
orangedream:-)

Author's Reply:
Thank you, orangedream - I appreciate you reading and commenting very much.

Kat :o)

Jolen on 01-07-2006
Game Over
Kat,

A very strong piece of reality, indeed and so relevant, as it is sad. Well done and I have a great deal of respect for Trevor's work as well. I love that you write things like this. Moving, and like ward says, eerie.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Jolen - I really appreciate you popping in to let me know your thoughts.

Kat :o)


Belief (posted on: 28-04-06)
~

I don't want to consider facts like death, I want to think about possibilities believe in visions, like a rainbow cloud blurring concepts and proving imagination. I want to believe that a sneaky miraculous force is at work, running on mini-legs ahead holding placards high like hitchhikers as we near, so we can readily spot our destinations.
Archived comments for Belief
niece on 28-04-2006
Belief
Kat,
Death is something we can never really understand...and what I keep telling myself, if everyone goes there in the end-it can't be all that bad, can it???!!!???
I loved the "mini-legs" holding the "placards"-wonderful poem!
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, niece! I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat x

Zoya on 28-04-2006
Belief
"believe in visions, like a rainbow cloud
blurring concepts and proving imagination."

These lines are very positive, reflective, thought provoking and charming Kat. Just love the whole philosophy you have tried to evolve. Th equality of loud thinking that you imparted to the poem gives it a very charming edge over any sundry poem.
Thanks, Kat for sharing.
(((hugs)))
Love, xxx, Zoya


Author's Reply:
Another great comment from you, Zoya - thank you very much!

Kat x

Corin on 29-04-2006
Belief
No one ever dies! We live on `in the guts of the living'!

I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night,
Alive as you or me
Says I, "But Joe, you're ten years dead,"
"I never died," says he
"I never died," says he

"In Salt Lake, Joe," says I to him,
Him standing by my bed,
"They framed you on a murder charge,"
Says Joe, "But I ain't dead,"
Says Joe, "But I ain't dead."

"The copper bosses killed you, Joe,
They shot you, Joe," says I.
"Takes more than guns to kill a man,"
Says Joe, "I didn't die,"
Says Joe, "I didn't die."


Author's Reply:
Good! Well, that's that settled then, Corin! :o)

Kat

littleditty on 29-04-2006
Belief
Oh Kat! I shouldn't be commenting when in such a condition so i will just say that i know what you mean - however,if you see a donkey wearing a rainbow coloured 'SuperDonkey' cape, carrying a placard that says 'Fly Me To the Moon' would you please call an ambulance? My poem in my dairy -yours is similarly themed - but not nearly as blue - nice poem Kat xxxld x

Author's Reply:
Love your reply, ld, and I hope your condition isn't so bad? Thank you for taking the time with this - much appreciated, and I'm keeping a look out for that donkey! ;o)

Kat x

Bradene on 30-04-2006
Belief
In my early fifties I used to be afraid to go to sleep in case I never woke up! I look back now at that time and realise it was all part of facing your own mortality. These days I hope that when my time comes I can just go to sleep and not wake up! ((-; Great write Kat Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

I always enjoy it when you pop in to see me - thanks for a great comment!

Kat x

Sunken on 30-04-2006
Belief
Hello young Kat. Isn't it cloudy outside? As you know, I am currently stealing other people's comments as I am so crap at writing my own. Today I am asking you to re-read Niece's comment and pretend that it came from me. She won't mind I'm sure (-:
Thanks.

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sponsored by the criminal fraternity

Author's Reply:
Hello lovely Sunky

You're a first-rate commenter! I always love it when you pop in - hope you're well and happy.

Take care.

Kat :o)

stolenbeauty on 30-04-2006
Belief
'sneaky miraculous' this reminds me of the book 'hideous kinky' - two words I personally would not put together, yet they seem to work so well! Exceelent piece! Thanks so much
Stolen x

Author's Reply:
Hi Stolen

Your comments are much appreciated - thanks for commenting!

Kat :o)


Since Your Death (posted on: 28-04-06)
~

Since your death I've been campaigning for the point to your life which brimmed with sadness. Electioneering is nearly over; I can't wait to celebrate the majority vote – the X that marks persuasion you were Polaris. And then I will dance literally dance on your grave.
Archived comments for Since Your Death
Zoya on 28-04-2006
Since Your Death
A very powerful poem. Polaris is well used, the Star, the Missile, the Killer, the Pollutant, the Hero the Culprit...
***Hugs Kat***
Love, xxx, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Thanks for a great comment, Zoya - I really appreciate it!

Kat x

Sunken on 28-04-2006
Since Your Death
I may have a flashing dance floor (like in Saturday night fever) laid over my grave so that people can dance without getting their shoes muddy. I have recently started dancing around the house when I'm hoovering Ms. Kat. I try to emulate one of my mates. He is the worst dancer you ever saw. It's actually quite difficult to be as out of step as he is. I must get him to give me lessons. Anyway, none of this is important right now. As young Zo of Ya fame said - very powerful. I know that's a cop-out, just copying someone else's comment, but I've told ya before, I'm crap at it. I hope this helps. Thanks.

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sponsored by trouble

Author's Reply:
Sunken, you are a star! Thanks very much for taking the time to copy someone else's comment!

Kat :o)

littleditty on 30-04-2006
Since Your Death
Dear Kat -will you explain this one to me a bit? i'm missing a lot, i think ๐Ÿ˜ฎ xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hello ld

Very nice of you to pop in on this wee poem. I think (says she, as if she has a clue!) I was thinking of sacrifice and how some people's lives seem to act as a conduit (by default) and a mechanism for others to get a grip on life.

Cheers my dear!

Kat x

Bradene on 30-04-2006
Since Your Death
I once stood by helplessly and watched someone literally drink himself to death I think I can see where you were coming from. That is my take on it anyhow ((-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Yes, your take would certainly fit with this, and that is such a hard thing to witness. Thank you very much for reading and commenting - much appreciated!

Kat x

AnneB on 06-05-2006
Since Your Death
Loved (is that the right word? sorry if not ...) the anger and bleakness in this. It's very powerful and precise - wonderful!

A
xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi Anne

Thank you for a very encouraging comment - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Jolen on 07-05-2006
Since Your Death
Hi Kat:
I agree, it's powerful and for me works on several levels, which I always love.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
I'm glad that this works for you on different levels, Jolen, and thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment.

Kat :o)


A Three-course Breakfast (posted on: 21-04-06)
Any suggestions/comments/constructive crit gratefully received. :o)

It was a sunny Sunday morning. If you looked westwards towards the Lomond hills from Lochhead Crescent in Coaltown of Wemyss - and looked very closely - you could see a big grin on each of the faces of the two slopes. Perhaps it was Father's Day for them too.      In number seventeen, Dad was having a long lie. Mum was downstairs helping the children – Nicole, Thomas and Erin – to make a special breakfast for him. It was going to have three-courses: Nicole was busy squishing oranges that Mum had already halved, for freshly-squeezed orange juice; Thomas was pouring cornflakes with lots of creamy milk into a black and white stripy dish (Dad's Dunfermline Athletic bowl), and Erin was spreading butter and marmalade (her dressing gown cuffs showed the evidence) on the slice of warm golden bread that had popped out of the toaster.      'Would you check that Dad's still sleeping, Thomas?' said Mum, 'Then we can all go and surprise him.' Thomas jumped up the step that led from the kitchen to the sitting room and ran through the hall to the bottom of the stairs. Creeping up in his Shrek slippers, Thomas didn't need to go far as Dad's snores were quite loud. He crept back down, skipped through the sitting room to the kitchen and hopped down the step:      'He's hog-snoring!' Everyone laughed.      Mum reached for the breakfast tray and placed the juice, cornflakes and toast neatly upon it, along with a silver-plated spoon and a black and white striped napkin.      'Here's the Father's Day card,' said Nicole, who was holding a huge blue envelope mosaiced with colourful drawings of flowers, hearts and footballs.      'I think we'll need a tray especially for the card!' said Mum.      'I'll get one from my kitchen!' Erin darted to her bedroom.      'Did you sprinkle sugar on Dad's cornflakes, Thomas?'      'Erm… I think so,' Thomas scratched his head.      'I don't think you did, Thomas,' said Nicole as she washed her sticky hands in the soapy suds in the sink. Mum peered into the bowl:     'It looks as though there's sugar on them.'      'Here it is!' Erin was back with the floral tray she usually kept her tea-set on. The tea-set was now inside the washing machine.      'That'll be grand, Erin,' said Mum. 'OK – let's go.' The small procession stepped carefully into the sitting room, through to the hall and quietly up the stairs. Mum was in front carrying the tray, Nicole and Thomas followed, sniggering - behind them, Erin carried the Father's Day card on her tray. When they reached the bedroom door, Mum pushed it open with her pink fluffy-slippered foot and the children burst into the room ahead of her:      'Happy Father's Day!' Nicole, Thomas and Erin bounded onto the bed and started to jump up and down – Erin was still gripping her tray.      Dad opened one sleepy eye:      'What's all this then?' Suddenly he sat up and growled like a grizzly sending the children scampering towards the bedroom door.      'Here's your breakfast, Daddy bear,' said Mum as she placed the tray on his lap, the children padding back.      'Here's a card for you,' said Erin as she walked proudly forward presenting the tray. Nicole and Thomas jumped back onto the bed.      'Watch the breakfast, kids!' said Dad. A slurp of orange juice had slopped onto the toast. 'Thank you very much though. This looks great.' Dad took the card from Erin's tray and slipped his thumb along the top edge of the envelope – ripping it open:      'That's brilliant – thank you!' It was a picture the children had painted of Dad in a Dunfermline Athletic football strip – his right foot rested on a fat brown football and he had a smile on his face as wide as the goalpost behind him.      'Enjoy your breakfast!' said Erin. Dad drank his juice down in one go and licked his lips. Then he picked up his spoon and scooped down into the stripy bowl, while the children sat and watched. Mum opened the blinds and let some air in through one of the windows:      'It's going to be a beautiful day!' she said. There was a terrible choking and coughing sound. Mum turned to see Dad's face scrunched up as if he was eating grapefruit, which he hated.      'What is this on my cornflakes?' asked Dad. Mum looked at the children and the children looked at each other.      'I only put sugar on them,' said Erin, 'Thomas did the rest.'      'Which sugar?' said Mum, 'What did you use?'      'The stuff in the glass jar. The stuff that Dad likes in his food.'      'The garlic!' Nicole and Thomas started to laugh until their faces were wet with tears. Mum and Erin joined in, and even Dad began to see the funny side:      'Well, think I'll get up and put the kettle on for tea – I'm going to need something to wash this lot down. Anyone like to try my cornflakes?'      The children scarpered downstairs and started setting their places at the dining-table for breakfast. They looked busy and innocent when Dad passed them on his way into the kitchen:      'Aargh!' Dad had forgotten the step.
Archived comments for A Three-course Breakfast
Lare on 22-04-2006
A Three-course Breakfast
Oh Kat...this is precious...this is so precious...you have brought out the warmth and comfort and closeness and love and...well...dang, I love this more than you know...and...I love garlic...absolutely love garlic...I absolutely love this piece you have written here...

Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare

Thank you very much for a very kind and encouraging comment - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

niece on 22-04-2006
A Three-course Breakfast
Good story, Kat! And so real...try to make a day special and see what happens to it!!! An enjoyable read!
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Thank you kindly for your comments - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Sunken on 23-04-2006
A Three-course Breakfast
It's official - again - I want kids. I need a woman first tho. Pff, there's always a snag. Very enjoyable read Mr. Shack of Attack fame. It put me in mind of the following - teddy bears, star wars and action men. I hope that helps in some way? Thanks.

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sponsored by prolapse (the cheaper and somewhat inferior version of Prozac)

Author's Reply:
Hehe - Mr Shack of Attack fame you say? Aw, Sunky one, twas me - the kittykat - glad you popped in though. All the breast!

Kat :o)

Sunken on 23-04-2006
A Three-course Breakfast
So sorry Kat - my head got fried this weekend - I meant to say Kat and er... not Shackattack - I blame the following - guinness, guinness and guinness. Thanks.

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ignore him, it's for the best

Author's Reply:
*big kiss* No worries, luvly munky - if you were thinking I had the shackattack style, I'd be well chuffed anyway - if it's just the way I sit, well, that's another story... ;o)

Thanks for taking the time with this.

Kat x

Jen_Christabel on 23-04-2006
A Three-course Breakfast
Charming :o)
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Cheers, Jennifer! I really appreciate you taking the time to read this.

Kat :o)

shackleton on 23-04-2006
A Three-course Breakfast
Smashing, warming story, Kat. You have a knack for bringing an ordinary family day, alive with your heart and your magic. I love your stories, Kiddo.

ps. That Munky person must have been totally piddled to have mistaken you for me. You're miles prettier than I am - even when I wear a frilly frock. Give him a clip round the ear 'ole, Kat. Take care now.

Author's Reply:
Hehe... I'm chuckling about your comment about the lovely Sunky one.

Thank you for a very encouraging comment, Mr Shacks - I always love it when I hear from you.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Bradene on 25-04-2006
A Three-course Breakfast
This is great Kat I could see the scene perfectly and laughed along with them all. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Val! I'm glad that you could see the scene as I thought I had kept the writing too one-dimensional - I appreciate your comments very much.

Kat x

scotch on 30-04-2006
A Three-course Breakfast
dear Kat I'm commenting actually on your poem BELIEFS as the computer won't let me reply to it or your latest poem either i just wish to say i have two poems in store about death and you might like the second one called REALMS... they should apper within the week... from scotch

Author's Reply:
Hi scotch

Good to hear from you and I'll keep a look out for your poems.

All the best

Kat :o)


Save the Whales... for Someone Else (posted on: 17-04-06)
Any crit/suggestions received with an Easter bunny smile and a hey nonny nonny. :o)

You wanted us to watch grey whales the forecast wasn't good. The Pacific coast waved and rolled beyond the shore of that weekend but you looked stern and fixed. I guess the whales sneaked up to blow when we weren't looking. I'd never been so wet as rivulets flowed down my neck and all on board were sick of the weather the motion, even of the dolphins that bubbled around like a flipping flotilla. I was mad soaking up a storm on the way home overheating with the heat on. The windscreen wipers squeaked and cried I saw the steam rise felt my skin shrink, to fit. The forecast wasn't good.
Archived comments for Save the Whales... for Someone Else
shackleton on 17-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
Hey nonny noo to you too, Ms. Kat. Happy Easter. The weather is fantastic here in Brum but your poem has left me feeling chilled to the bone. You've conjured up quite a storm in North Pacific waters. I'd love to have seen those grey whales. Good poem, Kat - excellent images. Take care now.

Author's Reply:
Hi shacks

Great to hear from you and what a lovely, cheery reply! The weather is dull and grey here. ๐Ÿ™

Yes, I'm very partial to whalewatching and though I did indeed have a very wet experience once, it was great to see the dolphins and some 'spouting' action from whales. We were lucky enough to see a mother and calf very close to the shore when we were in California - it was a very unreal experience - quite magical! I've got a thing for whales and recently watched the DVD box-set of Free Willy 1,2&3, purely for the whale action then sent them to my nieces and nephew. Loved 'Moby Dick' - the book and the movie with Gregory Peck (I think), and just read a really nonsense whale story called 'Fluke' by Christopher Moore.

Thanks again!

Kat :o)

niece on 17-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
Kat,
Good poem and lovely imagery...it was almost like I was there on board the ship(?)
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, niece - I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. All the best to you!

Kat :o)

shadow on 17-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
Hi Kat - very funny poem - brought to mind some ill-advised family outings I suffered in the past - loved the 'flipping flotilla' - and the ominous feel to the last line.

Author's Reply:
Cheers, shadow! I'm glad that the tongue-in-cheekness came through in this with a touch of foreboding. Thanks for commenting.

Kat :o)

Sunken on 17-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
How lovely to hear of your wet experiences Ms. Kat of Flap fame. Young Shadowy woman picked out my fave bit. She has an habit of doing that. I should get up earlier in the day I reckon. Nice one Ms. Kat.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Sunky one! Hope the Easter bunny has been good to you and Rudy - appreciate you popping by with a carrot of a comment.

Kat :o)

littleditty on 18-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
Dear Kat - this is a great seafaring tale - i passed up an offer to go on a Dolphin spotting boat since the last attempt in Tenerife, on a boat called the Pirate Smellybeard or something or other, and a young 'actor' type dressed as PeterPan climbed up and down the riggin's trying to entertain by poking us with an inflatable parrot (i nearly punched him) as 50% of us vomited spectacularly, and again when they served the lunch *pukes* -it was a living nightmare and i feel sick just telling you about it. (my partner forgave my stubborness...eventually!) Whales and Dolphins are special -one dolphin came up to the shore recently and played with some folk here - and whales - i think they are the record keepers - you have captured a memory here alright - brought some back too -thanks Kit xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hello. ld!

Enjoyed reading your reply very much and thank you for commenting. *sings* 'I SO love to be beside the seaside'... which is my biggest bugbear here in central(ish) Germany - when we get the fair weather I always like to head for the Rhine!

My worst experience on a boat was swordfish fishing in Cyprus with local fishermen - I was very seasick the whole * 12 * hours that we were on the boat (the nets had drifted and we had to keep scouring the bay for them). That evening they all enjoyed BBQ swordfish - nice and fresh - but not me thank you very much as I lay on my bed (roasting) with the window shut to keep the fumes out! Ah... memories, eh? :o)

Cheers

Kat x

Dazza on 18-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
I get seasick. Never used to, something must have popped in my middle ear. Liked the way the maritime-eco thread wove into something personal and day to day. Great stuff. Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, lovely Dazza! Always great to hear from you.

Kat :o)

RoyBateman on 18-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
Maybe it's a good job you missed 'em - they're a bugger to land with a kiddie-sized net. Besides, you couldn't eat a whole one, could you?? Only joking!! Unuaual theme, very well executed - it sounds absolutely ghastly, and with no reward, too. Must admit, I'd love to see them close up (Not THAT close, Moby - gerroff) - that must be special. Better luck next time!

Author's Reply:
Cheers, Roy - love your comment (have you got your own show yet then?) ;o) and thank you very much for taking the time with this.

Kat :o)

pencilcase on 19-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
I like this poem, Kat. A few have already commented favourably on 'flipping flotilla' but I found that appealing too!

I like 'beyond the shore' as well. It has its literal meaning, but also, I think, a play on 'sure' and therefore has a somewhat foreboding undertone as you contemplate going into the unknown.

Towards the end, the line 'The windscreen wipers squeaked and cried' works well. Conjures up the image of a moment immediately.

This is light, at one level, and as you have commented, 'tongue-in-cheek as well, but I also think it has a level of seriousness, about something more significant being out of joint - a couple going through the motions, perhaps, but knowing that the forecast isn't good, as you conclude. So it all goes to make a nicely-poised and interesting poem and an engaging read.

Steve *in one of his more sensible moods*

Author's Reply:
Steve, that really is a great and considered comment, thank you very much. All the points you make are very fitting - you're a super reader!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Albermund on 21-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
I like the way you write,K, your wordplay and repetition. It's fun. You probably use too many words (windscreen + perhaps you could be snappier, even funnier if you were sick of the flipping dolphins.). I did enjoy, though and the title was a laugh. Cheers, Albert.

Author's Reply:
Hi Albert

I really appreciate you taking the time to read, and I love (and agree) with your comments.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Zoya on 21-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
what an anticlimax that can be,
When you are all geared up
and raring to go,
And in comes a storm
and your hopes go, poof!

Author's Reply:
Hehe... poof, indeed! The best laid plans and all that, eh? Thank you for taiking the time to read and comment and nice to meet you, Zoya - great name!

Kat :o)

teifii on 21-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
Very atmospheric. And so tongue in cheek too. I too was immediately struck by 'the dolphins
that bubbled around like a flipping flotilla.'
Also like -- 'The Pacific coast
waved and rolled beyond the shore '
and the last verse is briliant.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff

Thank you for a great comment and I wish you a lovely weekend!

Kat :o)

Jolen on 22-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
Hi Kat:
I liked this piece and feel it's very effective on several levels. I think that the imagery here is marvelous and I can taste the sea and feel the chill... Well done!
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Apolloneia on 23-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
top poetry!
Nic x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Nic!

Kat x

RDLarson on 24-04-2006
Save the Whales... for Someone Else
I love Orcas; last summer when sailing we were surrounded by eight and they were the stars, no kidding. When they surface and look into your eyes, you see something old, majestic and formidable. I do think they keep records. This is a beautiful poem; it feels exactly like it is and it feels exactly like being a good "trooper" going along with something that you don't want to do and it turns out badly. Your poem made me promise myself to never do that again. Very inspiring.

Author's Reply:
RD, I love your comment and thanks for sharing that about the Orcas - they are magic, eh? And thanks also for picking up on the premise of the poem so well too - that's a great comment!

Kat :o)


Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff (posted on: 07-04-06)
~

Don't make excuses or delude yourself that they will get in touch on any other terms than theirs. They have the audacity the certainty lubricating their weak-willed stalks that you are gagging for them. And thus you will be dangled like a hang-man until you stop swinging or you could cut free and learn to trust your own integrity.
Archived comments for Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
Romany on 07-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
Yes! Nice; love this.
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany

Thank you for commenting. I've edited the 'love' to 'trust' in the last line as it seems to scan better. Have a great weekend!

Kat :o)

Gerry on 07-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
Kat, very true--one must tread with care ๐Ÿ˜‰

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hehe, thank you for popping in, Gerry - very much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Apolloneia on 07-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
I especially liked the last two stanzas, a good strong poem dear Kat!
Nic x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Nic! :o)

Kat x

niece on 08-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
Kat,
Good poem...liked it...also liked the title.
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
I'm glad you liked it, niece, and thank you for letting me know - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Jen_Christabel on 09-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
A good 'un here Kim, nicely done.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Jen - I realy appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Hope you're having a good Sunday.

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 09-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
Kat, a great poem. Have a virtual 10 from me. Ann

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much, Ann - it's much appreciated.

Kat :o)

littleditty on 11-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
Strong voice, but i think i am missing something - a few brain cells probably - local cashew spirit - could be about many different kinds of relationships which is what i like about it - saw Vampires though, and a little garlic - is this wrong of me? Whats the title (wheat and chaff -ok,roger,over) but what is Nyaff? Kat -i need help. And there is no Yellow Pages here in Goa, and if you google Nyaff you will see i am in trouble over here! HEEEEEeelp!

xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Goa, you say - how wonderful, ld! Hope you're having a good holiday/extended stay?

Nyaff is quite a commonly used Scottish word (especially in Fife where I grew up) and is 'a small or worthless person or thing' according to my trusty Chambers. So, a bit of wordplay (no vampires) but they could fit, and some relationships sure as hell suck the blood from you! ;o)

Thank you for taking the time to read, think about this, and comment - very much appreciated.

Kat x

teifii on 12-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
Lovely piece, Nicki. Especially liked the magnolia and garlic and colour red. Have to admit I also liked Beks ending with one revolution.
Daff

Author's Reply:

teifii on 12-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
Hi Kat. Sorry about the above -- it was to Littleditty but my computer got cut off and I rewrote it in th wrong box. Have to go back and try again.
Meantime, I really like yours. And the title is brilliant.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff

No worries - it's always lovely to hear from you! :o) And thank you for your comments.

Kat x

chrissy on 24-04-2006
Separating the Cheat from the Nyaff
A very good read. Says a lot in a few well chosen words.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
Thanks chrissy! I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat :o)


Bully-off (posted on: 03-04-06)
Edited with grateful thanks to the dynamic duo, pencilcase and littleditty.

The chalk whizzes by my right ear a trajectory of fury from Mr Paton my maths teacher – I was arithmetically challenged. And there he leers a role model wild-eyed and vehement intent on harpooning any numeric slivers I might have had. He's made me sit alone to atone? Or give his thick thighs the space to lunge diagonally, to spit Your figures are too big, too childish! And there he stands a role model bully who bulls-eyes only when you believe it's your fault. Later that day I scored a hat-trick at hockey geometry in motion with Mr Paton's head.
Archived comments for Bully-off
chrissy on 03-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
This is great. I get a real sense of this being someone who was real and existed. Cleverly written and humorous too. Loved the idea of the old devil's head as the hockey ball.
There were many teachers I would have loved to do that with.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
Thanks, chrissy! ruadh's super story at the moment: HAVE YOU BEEN LICKING MY APPLES? has a great intro which pretty much sums up what I try to do or do with many things I write. To take fact, fiction and mix it up with tongue-in-cheek. ;o) I'm sure a lot of people use this technique (? to avoid libel if nothing else!). :o)

Thanks again.

Kat

Apolloneia on 03-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Ha!
"The chalk whizzes by
my right ear
a trajectory of fury
from Mr Paton
my maths teacher โ€“ "
Ha! again! Loved this one ๐Ÿ˜‰
Nic x


Author's Reply:
Thank you, Nic, I'm really glad you liked this one and many thanks for choosing it as a fav - very much appreciated!

Kat x

Romany on 03-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Brilliant! I had a Rural Studies teacher who was actually (in quite tragic circumstances I later discovered this, sadly) a very nice man, but just a bit jaded. Who wouldn't be after years teaching ungrateful teens? Anyway, what I was saying was that he had a reputation for throwing the board duster, the horrible wooden edged things, at you if you gave him any grief. Can you imagine a teacher getting away with that these days?
Enjoyed this,
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Romany, thanks for a great comment and I agree with you about the 'stories' behind the reasons though when we're on the receiving end as children, we can't/don't think about that, eh? I was actually so bad at arith & maths because: it wasn't my strong point anyway; our teacher in high school literally did not teach us anything because he was too drunk (late 70s) and I never really caught up with things.

I once got the belt/tawse three times as hard as the Head of French Department could come down on my hands with it (for laughing) at the boys who were the real culprits in disrupting the French class with a young teacher. They were badly bruised afterwards (my hands) and I had to cool them down on the snow... and hide them from my parents or there'd be another row - eek! Which is nothing to the corporal punishment stories I know exist from my Dad and Grandad's generation and I'm sure many folks have. My Dad has been very badly effected by one of his teachers who caned them all regularly, particularly picking on the 'clever' ones.

Teachers today are invaluable (as they've always been), and they have my utmost respect in trying to deal with class management with their hands tied behind their backs (hopefully not literally), but I think the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy (treating children and teenagers with the belief that they can improve, and facilitating them to do so) is a great technique to incorporate into your teaching skills, from a standpoint of mutual respect.

Thanks again for a great comment, Romany!

*falls off soapbox, drunk*

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 03-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Oh yes, brought back some memories for me too! brought a smile to my Monday face! Ann

Author's Reply:
Lovely to hear from you, Ann! Thank you for commenting... you are/were a teacher too, I think? Would love to read or hear about any of your stories from both sides of the fence.

Kat :o)

Corin on 03-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
The ruler slammed down on his desk
Raising clouds of chalk dust
And for a moment he stopped
Poking his neighbour in the ribs
With a freshly sharpened pencil.
"I'll get my dad on you", he snarled
"I'll bring him down the school,
We'll have you!
You can't do nuffin to us,
You'll get the sack!"

"You do that", I replied
"He is just the person I want to see."
It was a pointless piece of bravado.
No good telling him his son was a bully and
Disrupting the education of twenty nine children.
After all he had made him one, was one himself.
And anyway he thought his son of no importance
Except when his own ego was at stake
And there was aggro to be had.
His son might be a bully
But he was a more important bully
Than the other twenty nine victims.

Author's Reply:
Excellent poem, Corin, and thank you for posting it in this thread, because, yes, there are two sides to every story, and teaching these days (in secondary schools) is an unbelievably difficult job... I'd love to hear any thoughts on how you think the situation could be helped?



I'd love to post your poem on my humble website if you would permit?



All the best.



Kat :o)

PS: thanks for your great PM reply and permission to post the poem! :o)

Jen_Christabel on 03-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Did you have the same maths teacher as me I wonder? LOL LOL. Mine was Mr. Turley, a rotund, angry little man, he was dreadful, but at least I know my times' tables. LOL
Good piece here Kat.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jen

Thanks for dropping by and commenting. I have to say that I did know my multiplication tables then (not now) ;o), what stumped me was the 24 hour clock... I can remember getting this at primary and it was a fox to me!

It was more from missing out on any maths education in the whole of 1st year and then I just had a mental block with it. The point I'd also like to make with this wee poem is that it is so often down to each individual teacher... I think we've all got examples of goodies and baddies.

Thanks again.

Kat x

niece on 04-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Not-so-pleasant memories of these kind stay with you forever...teachers can either be very kind or very cruel. And each time my son is promoted to the next grade, that's exactly what I pray for-not that the teacher makes him his/her favourite or that he always stands first in class, but that the teacher doesnot take a dislike to him!
Good poem, Kat --- brought back both the good and bad memories of those good(?) old days...
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
niece, thank you for that... that must be an awfie worry and it sounds like something that you think is maybe prevalent - I hope not. Thanks for reading and taking the time with this - very much appreciated.

Kat x

pinchus on 04-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
The best days of our lives? Too close to home, and like Romany said, those bloody eraser things bleeding hurt.

Author's Reply:
Hi pinchus (great name!)

Thanks for commenting and I look forward to catching up with your work.

Cheers

Kat :o)

littleditty on 04-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Mr Paton...Pa....*flicks phone book*....Ah! There you are...*scribbles down address*....Kat - leave it to me...*gets huge comic blackboard-rubber-misile-launcher* nasty teachers make me angry...*turns green* and i bet you are not bad with numbers - you're a poet...*Hulketta and supershero friends fly through the night in spandex* School is a community, all the good and bad - if there is a bad one (we had a Dementor that needed seeing to at my old place...) we search, *spies Patons chimney, takes aim* and if we cant destroy, at least we try some damage limitation. It's probably better than it was:O) Great poem Kat xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
1+1=11, right?

ld, love your ability to put a smile on my face AND cut to the chase... for, 'damage limitation' is all we can reasonably hope for in many things, methinks, and this idea went a long way in the mental health field when I was nursing.

Love the spandex ballet!

Kat x

Gerry on 04-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Kat, Our French teacher was a swine--he only thought I was average, but if he had heard the words I used to describe him, I am sure I would have been top of the class--he was a chalk expert as well ๐Ÿ˜‰ memories...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry



Nice to see you and cheers for popping in - another teacher wanting the students to live down to their expectations, eh? :o)



Funnily enough, in the French class I had the belt in in 2nd year - I was top of the class with 52% or something (that's scary). Thus, I was advised not to continue with languages for o-grade etc. - well, I did take French up until 6th year and even went to uni to study it, and also did o-grade German and Italian in one year in 6th year. Career advice? Huh - that's another story... but I do know there's lots of good stuff and teachers out there too, and I really like the progress that seems to be being made for children learning to read with the symphonic phonetics system (? if that's what it's called).



Thanks again.



Kat :o)

pencilcase on 04-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Good one, Kat. I notice your comment about adding the final line. Personally, I think ending it with 'Mr.Paton's head' is more punchy - the anger you take out on the hockey pitch comes through well by just allowing the reader to do a little bit of the work and thus better identify with your position and feelings. However, 'bully-off' is good and I wonder if it might be possible to get this in just before the end?

Instead of...

Later that day I scored
a hat-trick at hockey
with Mr Patonโ€™s head -

geometry in motion
bully-off.

how about...

Later that day,
after bully-off,
geometry in motion saw
me wield my stick
and score
a hat-trick at a hockey match,
in which I left opponents dead,
thanks to Mr Patonโ€™s head.

It's just a thought and I have to go now (work tonight). I think it would end well as it is with 'Mr.Paton's head' but a bit of a lengthening along the lines I offer might be of interest.

Enjoyed this poem.

potlood





Author's Reply:
Hi pot









I love your comments and suggestions - thank you. I must admit that it did originally finish with the Mr Paton's head bit, and I think that could be punchier as you say. I'll let this sit for a bit longer and have a mull over to myself. I really appreciate you taking the time, and I may use a variation of your suggestion. *puts on thinking cap*









Kat :o)







*takes off thinking cap* OK... I think either cutting the last 2 lines or what about for the last stanza:







Later that day



after bully-off



geometry in motion wielded



a hat-trick



with Mr Paton's head.







And I had thought about calling it 'Bully-off' too... mmm... I'm off to mull some more. *pours large Schnapps*



*licks lips* Right, I'm going to leave it as is for now as I'm not sure. *sets oven and puts Mr Paton's Head in at 150c - cackles evilly*

Sunken on 05-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Very clever write Ms. Kat of flap fame. I've never forgiven my maths teacher for telling me that I would amount to nothing more than a sub division of my then current total. It took me ten years to figure out that this was indeed an insult, by which time the tw@t was dead. Pff. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

pleasure from the mace

Author's Reply:
And how wrong he was! Lovely to hear from you, Sunky, and many thanks for commenting.

Kat :o)

littleditty on 06-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Later that day I scored
a hat-trick at hockey
geometry in motion
with Mr Patonโ€™s head.


Bully-off is this when you do the three taps of the sticks before aiming at the ankles? Good as a title then! xxxlittleditty x







Author's Reply:
ld, yes, that was bully-off! ;o)

Thank you for popping back to give me the benefit of your very poetic wisdom - I'm going to have a final mull, but I think you may well have got it! It's all in your metre, eh? ;o)

Kat x

Bradene on 06-04-2006
Mr Patons Head
Oooo Kat great poem, and guess what I believe I knew him in another life!! only this time he was called Mr palmer. What a B he was and the chalk stung like hell. Made me wish I had thought of a hocky stick too! and had had the nerve to use it for real. love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hehe, Val, gosh, there really seems to have been a few of them around, eh? Thanks for giving this your time - much appreciated.

Kat x


In Sunny California (posted on: 17-03-06)
I'd like to say a big thank you to 'Global Inner Visions' for publishing this - please check out the ezine if you haven't already. http://www.themessagetree.com/givezine/index.shtml

The sun streams at forty five degrees into his room. Hands behind head on the bed, he stares up at the square window. He would be going through the rectangular doorway. He didn't want to walk today. His eyes cast to the four walls he knows like the back of his hand. A literal truth as portrait proves to the left. On the right, two wooden shelves top and tail five dog-eared books including a bible, which he reaches for now. He didn't want to walk today. Clinking metal speaks, he blinks, a dark form enters. He'd never liked goodbyes, so focuses on the shaft of light and begs for au revoir. Corridor noise snippets - news, cartoons - each step shortening his life. He didn't want to walk today. Shoes squeak on polished floors, he prays as the last threshold leers; a stage where the audience jeers and death is injected. Hard clinical trolley, hard clinical humans. Strapped down by fate he seeks the face of his victim's mother. He didn't want to walk today.
Archived comments for In Sunny California
Bradene on 17-03-2006
In Sunny California
Powerful poem Kat. This is a subject that stirs a lot of conflicting emotions in me and I find it hard to have a definitive view on it. Yet there have been many men who have died innocently. Oh God... You've set me off for the day! Fine poem. congratulations on getting in Global inner Visions... I failed ((-; but I'm not bitter Grrrrr! ((-; Love Val xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Thank you for a great comment - much appreciated.

I do understand your conflicting emotions... it's all food for thought....

Hey, aren't you rubbing shoulders with the Poet Laureate in one of a few anthologies I believe your work is in? ;o) They didn't let me in to that one. *sticks out bottom lip*

Thanks again, Val.

Kat x

ruadh on 17-03-2006
In Sunny California
I agree with Val so will say no more. Nicely done Kat.

love ailsa

Author's Reply:
Hi ailsa

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Apolloneia on 17-03-2006
In Sunny California
Absolutely amazing poem. Wish I could give a ten. One of your best Kat!!!!!!!! REALLY!

Nic x

Author's Reply:
Now that is a very cheering comment, Nic - thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and cheers for choosing as a fav.

Kat x

niece on 17-03-2006
In Sunny California
Dear Kat,
Excellent poem...I have to admit I had to read this several times before I understood what was happening.
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment - very much appreciated.

Kat :o)

potleek on 17-03-2006
In Sunny California
Kat this sent shivers through me, I don't think any of us could really know of the fears and feelings inside this mortal.
Well told...Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony

Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts with me - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Sunken on 17-03-2006
In Sunny California
Well done on getting published Ms. Kat flap. After reading it, I can't say that I'm surprised. Well done on a very powerful piece.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:
Thanks a lot, Mr Munky! I'll have to be careful or my head won't fit through the flap anymore... ;o)

Kat x

Ionicus on 17-03-2006
In Sunny California
Shades of 'Dead men walking'.
A fine and emotive poem, kitten.
I particularly liked the following lines:

'Shoes squeak on polished floors, he prays
as the last threshold leers; a stage where
the audience jeers and death is injected.'

Clever use of the rhymes 'leers' and 'jeers'.
Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Yes, you're right there, Luigi! I thought the performances from Susan Sarandon (she got an Oscar I think) and Sean Penn in 'Dead Man Walking' which was based on a true story ((I believe)... gosh, I don't know much do I?), were great. It's a polemic subject and I think sunny California is a place of many sad and stark incongruities.

Thanks again.

Kat x

Ginger on 18-03-2006
In Sunny California
This is a really powerful poem, although I needed to read this twice to fully understand, the re-reading just added to my appreciation.

Well done on being published!

Lisa

Author's Reply:
Thanks a lot for commenting, Lisa - very much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Emerald on 18-03-2006
In Sunny California
Hi Kat,

a strong and powerful poem - congrats on being published.

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Emma - lovely to hear from you!

Kat x

Dargo77 on 19-03-2006
In Sunny California
Kat, powerful and full of atmosphere. Not surprised this was chosen for publication.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Dargo! Hope you're having a lovely Sunday.

Kat :o)

Gerry on 19-03-2006
In Sunny California
Kat well done indeed--a fine poem...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks, Gerry! I really appreciate your comments.

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 19-03-2006
In Sunny California
Stunning. I think it's one of the best I've read - you don't wish it to be rated, but I will certainly nominate it, Kat, if it won't contravene your published deal. Let me know by PM and I'll do the honours for you. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann

Thank you very much for a great comment - I really appreciate it and I'll PM you.

Cheers

Kat :o)

teifii on 20-03-2006
In Sunny California
Brilliant Kat. So effective to use a title and a beginning that in no way forewarns the reader. I was half way through before I realised. Well deserved nom.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff

I'm delighted that you've popped in to let me know your thoughts - thank you!

All the best.

Kat :o)

Jolen on 21-03-2006
In Sunny California
Kat,
So deserving of the nomination and publishing. Stark, strong and seriously well written. The repetition brings it home.......
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen

Thank you very much for letting me know your thoughts on this - very much appreciated.

Kat :o)

kenochi on 21-03-2006
In Sunny California
that was cracking.
its easy when dealing with a subject like this to be a bit overblown or heavy handed. You've avoided that by focussing on details and leading us up to the point gently.
like it.

Author's Reply:
Thanks, kenochi - I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat :o)

Lare on 23-03-2006
In Sunny California
Wow...Kat...this is magnigicent...brilliant...you have tied everything together with your words...and I especially like how you made this read and the meaning that the reader is intended perceive...

lare

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Lare! I love your enthusiastic comment.

All the best to you.

Kat :o)

littleditty on 23-03-2006
In Sunny California
Well done Kat - its all been said - a class act *bows, doffs cap, curtseys, falls over* well done for how well this is done! xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, ld! Always great to hear from you - have a lovely weekend.

Kat x

Leila on 23-03-2006
In Sunny California
Kat I can only echo the other comments...I am sorry I don't comment more these days especially on such fine work as yours...L

Author's Reply:
Leila, it's especially lovely to hear from you and I'm quite sure that whenever people see your name, it's simply a bonus!

All the best to you

Kat :o)

eddiesolo on 24-03-2006
In Sunny California
Hi Kat,

Fine death row piece, that sounds silly doesn't it? I mean the piece is so well written lol.

I did a rhyming piece about a death row inmate, no way near as polished as yours.

Top write, worthy of the nib and the nom.

Well done.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Si

Thanks very much for reading and commenting - I would love to read your rhyming piece - have you posted it here?

Kat :o)

Abel on 24-03-2006
In Sunny California
Kat, you have nailed it with this one. The form is masterfully done, and the duality of the title and subject matter is intriguing. Well deserved nom.

Best,
Ward (I'll give a 10 anyway...:-))

Author's Reply:
Hello, lovely WOTM! Thank you very much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts - very much appreciated.

Kat :o)

RDLarson on 26-03-2006
In Sunny California
so poignant and so real. Your understanding and imagination are exquisite. Congratulations on publishing this; well deserved, I say.

Author's Reply:
Hi RD

Many thanks for a great comment - delighted that you popped in to tell me your thoughts.

All the best

Kat :o)


Women on Top (posted on: 03-03-06)
~

Move over, darling And let me mount Grip my bottom Dish out your lust Appease the passion Luminating my loins Embrace my desire Noetically, spiritually, Eternally.
Archived comments for Women on Top
Apolloneia on 03-03-2006
Women on Top
Ha! Great title and subject! I liked it
Nic x.

Author's Reply:
Hehe, glad you liked it, Nic - thanks for reading, much appreciated.

Kat x

Jen_Christabel on 03-03-2006
Women on Top
Oooo errrrr missus! Nice one Kim :o)
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer

Thank you for reading and commenting - very much appreciated.

Kat x

niece on 03-03-2006
Women on Top
Wow, Kat! This is good!
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, dear niece! Have a lovely weekend.

Kat :o)

Bradene on 03-03-2006
Women on Top
Really liked this Kat, is there some significance or is it purely coincidental that the first letters of each line reads Magdalene?
like an acrostic poem. Love val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Sherlock-Val! ;o) Thank you for reading and commenting, and for being a super Miss Sharple! :o)

Kat x

Bradene on 03-03-2006
Women on Top
I actually thought you were describing something out of a Mel Gibson movie Kat. OOer I have no wish to offend anyone but I thought of Mary Magdalene straight the way *Blush* Val x

Author's Reply:
I'm just tinkering around with thoughts and ideas, and of course, there's the present court case going on (I think, still) with Dan Brown of 'The Da Vinci Code' fame, so that's what got me thinking. I've not read his books but I've read a good bit of empirically-based work on the 'matters' he alludes to. ;o)

Thanks for popping in again, Val - always lovely to see you!

Kat x

red-dragon on 04-03-2006
Women on Top
Kat, this works for me on a lot of levels ('scuse the pun) - horizontally, vertically and with the subtle hint of erotica. Very clever, Kat. Ann

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Ann! I really appreciate you popping in to tell me.

Kat :o)

Ionicus on 04-03-2006
Women on Top
The first thing that grabbed me was the title and then I noticed the author.
By combining the two, I thought: it can only be good.
And it is. A nice erotic piece, without being smutty.
I regret to say I missed the acrostic but now that it has been pointed out I can see the significance.
Love, Luigi x

PS You haven't missed much by not reading the book. It isn't great literature.

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

Love your comments, thank you! Yes, I'd heard that about the book and hubby has verified this. Great to see you around and I hope you're having a lovely weekend.

Kat :o)

littleditty on 04-03-2006
Women on Top
Great! Excellent word choices, and the ideas - Nice! xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Thank you,ld! Nice to se you. to see you, nice!

Kat x

Sunken on 05-03-2006
Women on Top
Well personally I think it's a disgrace that a young lady should be writing of such things. If I wasn't wedged beneath this desk I would come over there and give you a piece of my mind. I hadn't thought of a lesbo slant until one of your commentor's mentioned it. I like a bit of lesbo lust action. Anyway, that's not important right now. Well done. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

yes sir, i can hoover - but i need a new dust-bag

Author's Reply:
'If I wasn't wedged beneath this desk...' Hehe... the images you conjure up, Mr Sunky, you are a true artist and a slave to your... er, impulses? ;o) It's always lovely to see you, and many thanks for letting this tickle your fancy.

Kat :o)

Jolen on 07-03-2006
Women on Top
Oh yeah! that works beautifully! Clear, clever and seductive.
Nice work again Kat!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen

Lovely to hear from you, and many thanks for your comments!

Kat :o)

Jay on 07-03-2006
Women on Top
Very well written indeed... enjoyed it.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Jay! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat :o)

Abel on 07-03-2006
Women on Top
Love the succinctness of this one, Kat. Masterfully done.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Ward! I look forward to catching up with some of the other subs, but I've already had a sneek preview of your work with Jolen - brillianto!

Kat :o)

shackleton on 13-03-2006
Women on Top
Hmmm. It's very erotic, Kat (sent a grown man all funny). And then the 'Magdalene' connection. I've just finished reading the Da Vinci code but there was no mention of all this gripping of bottoms. Hmmm. You've left me pondering and definitely a bit wibbly-wobbly. Very interesting, Kat. Take care.

Author's Reply:
Hello, my friend!

Many thanks for popping in for a read - I've heard that Kate Mosse's 'Labyrinth' is meant to be an excellent read about 'Languedoc' and all those intriguing matters...Cheers!

Kat :o)


Lost and Found (posted on: 27-02-06)
~

Not jolly like a sunflowers brolly he was like the fluff in his navel the worst kind of lint, skint of fabric. Magnetised umbilically, a soul-less plexus duller than grey, a speck you couldn't magnify he knew he didn't exist that's why people walked through him. He'd rise unnoticed, over their heads a mote, desperate to seed somewhere. Now, he wears damson-red a damsel dressed in kitten heels blushed cheeks blooming at the end of a real smile. He's unable to stop the sporing of happy dust when you lightly kiss his hand. Let your glance scan his body admire his wings – you'll marvel at how he fits his skin, at how he's opened up and out from within.
Archived comments for Lost and Found
Bradene on 01-03-2006
Lost and Found
I'm amazed this hasn't been commented on yet, I hesitate to tell you my interpretation of this as I am no doubt very wrong Oh hell why not! I thought this sounded like you were describing the newly discovered feelings of a transsexual after the completion of well whatever! *blush* That's me blushing (in case I have it all wrong) not him BTW Anyway I though it was well written Kat Love Val x

Author's Reply:
You are a star, Dame Val! :o)

Thank you muchly for popping in - I really do appreciate it and many thanks for your comments which are on the nose.
This is perhaps an odd poem - I started out to write about something completely different, but it turned into this. Have seen a few interviews with transgendered people recently - there's a movie called 'TransAmerica' (? sp) which I want to see and the lead actress has been nominated for an Oscar for her performance in it - Felicity Huffman?

Thanks again, Val!

Kat x

niece on 01-03-2006
Lost and Found
Kat,
I particularly liked the ending...this is very nice.
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

I'm delighted to see you, and many thanks for your comments!

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 01-03-2006
Lost and Found
Kat, I too enjoyed your poem. I feel you covered the subject matter very cleverly, and my favourite line: ' Not jolly like a sunflowers brolly'. I consider this to be one of your best to date.
Regards,
Dargo












Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

How you have cheered me with your enthusiastic response - I thank you, heartily! *gives Dargo a continental kiss on both cheeks*

Kat :o)

Apolloneia on 02-03-2006
Lost and Found
The last stanza throws light on this intriguing read. Very good dear Kat.

Nic x.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Nic! Yes, I often confuse myself with my poetry these days. ;o) I'm pleased that my intention and meaning is trickling through to folks.

Cheers

Kat x

littleditty on 03-03-2006
Lost and Found
Hi Kat - interesting! The last stanza is fantastic! Very interesting topic - and a positive poem -nice xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Cheers, ld! Glad you gave this a whirl - have a great weekend.

Kat x


My Wife of Fifty Years (posted on: 24-02-06)
I enjoyed reading Kazzmoss's recent sub, 'A LIFETIME OF MUSIC' and it reminded me of this wee poem I wrote a while ago.

The lines etch her face contouring features I have forever known still youthful to me, like yesterday. Eyes that sparkle when she laughs that sound of crescendoed music. Grey hair sketches her face same style since eternity still soft and shiny, as if it was yesterday. Pushing it from her brow when irritated lips pursed in frustration. My hand touches her face perhaps its billionth trace still loving her as much today, as yesterday. She places her hand over mine and smiles.
Archived comments for My Wife of Fifty Years
Jen_Christabel on 24-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
I loved this! I like the repeitition of 'face' at the beginning of each stanza. A very lovely piece.
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer

Thank you for a very cheering comment which I appreciate muchly! Have a super weekend.

Kat x

Dargo77 on 24-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Kat, a very moving and well written piece. I loved the way that you portray an ongoing love in the lines:

'My hand touches her face
perhaps its billionth trace'

Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

I'm delighted that you liked my wee poem - have a lovely weekend!

Kat :o)

Bradene on 24-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Such a lovely theme Kat, love that has lasted and stood the test of time. A rare and precious thing in these self serving days. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Yes, I agree with your comment very much about the rarity and preciousness (? a word) of love... I appreciate you reading this and I wish you a super weekend!

Kat x

littleditty on 24-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Aw - so soft and gentle and loving, Kat -a good piece, quiet - written to be so -lovely xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi ld

Thank you for reading and commenting - really appreciated! Hope your weekend is full of good things.

Kat x

Griffonner on 24-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Well, my dear, you are getting a TEN from me whether you like it or not. Words, and pictures, that brought tears to my eyes in empathy... Time teaches us a great deal, some of it too late.

Author's Reply:
Ooh, I DO like it! Thank you, Griffoner - very much appreciated. I agree with your thoughts about time which is why I think it's important to make any disagreements brief, or cut your losses, and to live in the moment and count your blessings every day.

Kat :o)

Gerry on 24-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Nice one Kat ...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for popping in, Gerry!

Kat x

red-dragon on 24-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
What a gentle poem, Kat, that expresses a lifetime of love. I hope to get there myself (and, of course, my lovley hub!) Ann Rated 10 (even tho' you didn't want a rating!)

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann

Here's to getting there! And many thanks for reading and the 10 which I humbly accept.

Kat :o)

niece on 25-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Such a lot of beauty in your poem, Kat...few people get lucky enough to be together for those many years.
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
...that's true, niece. I really admire the 'happy kind' of longevity, and I think it does take some achieving. Thanks for popping in and leaving a comment.

Kat :o)

Kat on 26-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Hi Wolfie

I thank you kindly for your comments and for taking the time and engaging with this poem. :o)

I think your suggestions are super, and I will very likely edit accordingly - still having a wee mull over - but I thank you from the top of my bottom! ;o)

Kat x



Author's Reply:

uppercase on 26-02-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Lovely piece, love erma

Author's Reply:
Hi Erma

Many thanks! I look forward to seeing some of your writing again soon!

Kat x

Dazza on 01-03-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Quality time with the matriarch, envious, great stuff, Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Hi Dazzler

Many thanks for popping in for a read - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Apolloneia on 02-03-2006
My Wife of Fifty Years
Excellently written Kat, a truly good poem that deserves a Great Read.

Nic x.

Author's Reply:
Your wonderful comments are 'Great Read' enough for me, Nic - many thanks!

Kat x


Ecuador Cries (posted on: 20-02-06)
~

Strumming his armadillo-shell guitar he ululates a lament. His daughter wrestles with a 'poncho as cover' restless as the guinea pigs that are corralled in a corner of the kitchen. He is with waterfalls, rainforests, volcanic peaks which imprint like a four thousand year old rubber stamp. He's aware of the smell of llamas. His wife prepares flax that he'll weave in the Inca tradition of colour and meaning. His back will ache after hours on the loom he wears like an ice cream seller at the cinema. He chants in descant to sweet squeaks - they suddenly cease. His wife rodeos a feast. Oils sizzle his consciousness like acid rain. His daughter grimaces with arms halo-ing her head like a deep-fried South American delicacy. He begins a lullaby.
Archived comments for Ecuador Cries
Bradene on 20-02-2006
Ecuador Cries
An unusual poem Kat yet one that stirs the imagination with its vivid and beautiful imagery. You can almost smell the llamas! I love the word ululates and can imagine the eerie sound. Well done Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Many thanks for your lovely comment - very much appreciated - I must catch up with some reading myself soon.

Kat x

pencilcase on 20-02-2006
Ecuador Cries
This is an interesting one, Kat. Loads of effectively thought-provoking language and well, not so much imagery, but depiction of the scene. For examples, I like the language of wrestles/restless, the notion of corralled guinea pigs (which is vivid), and the considered use of enveloping/progressing with/from lament and/to lullaby. The title is good too, and along with the use of lament/lullaby, the references to ancient tradition versus rainforests and acid rain, and your inclusion of different generations, I think this all makes for a poem that brings the scene to life well, but has a deeper level of meaning.

I appreciate your poem and think it deserves many more hits. Would be interested to see your thoughts on my take on what I consider to be a worthy read that has a poise and subtlety in its poetic approach to commenting on a disappearing world.

Steve



Author's Reply:
Hi Steve

That really is a great comment, and I'm delighted that you've taken the time with this poem and engaged with it so well - I really appreciate that!

Yes, your comments are very apt... you must have been peeking over my shoulder when I watched the very interesting travel programme that inspired this... one of the Lonely Planet productions. Sadly, I have not been to Ecuador. The programme also showed the Galapagos Islands which inspired another poem I posted here a while ago.

Vicarious living? I'm your woman! ;o)

Have you any plans to get over to Germany for the World Cup? The tickets were just too expensive for us, but there should be a good carnival atmosphere in Frankfurt which we're hoping to partake of!

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

niece on 21-02-2006
Ecuador Cries
Extremely beautiful poem, Kat. It was almost like being there...lovely!
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, dear niece! I appreciate your comments very much.



Kat :o)

RoyBateman on 21-02-2006
Ecuador Cries
An extremely well-drawn picture that transports the reader straight there...pity about the poor cavies, though. Endearing little critters, though I know they're just food over there. Unusual theme, very well executed.

Author's Reply:
Oops... comment for you below, Roy! Thanks a lot for taking the time with this.

Kat :o)

Kat on 21-02-2006
Ecuador Cries
Thank you, Roy! Yes, guinea pigs are very endearing. Cheers for commenting.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 21-02-2006
Ecuador Cries
Have you considered working for the tourist information center young Kat in a flap? I bet you could even make Rhyl sound nice... Not that it isn't, it's just not Ecuador.
Guinea pigs trouble me I'm afraid. I don't see the pig connection? That's why I opted for a hamster, even though he was more expensive. I hope my critique was useful (-; Thanks. Isn't it cold?

s
u
n
k
e
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add your voice to the sound of the crowd - thanks Phil

Author's Reply:
Ooh, I love The Human League! Love Action? Oh yes, that's good! :o)

You know, Sunky, 'enthusiasm' is something that I can, indeed, do. ;o) And you certainly instil it in people with your wonderful and 'interesting' comments!

Thank you for letting this poem pass (you by?) your way! ;o) Will you give Rudy a wee stroke for me? :o)

Kat x

littleditty on 04-03-2006
Ecuador Cries
Have you tried them grilled? (Microwave is out of the question btw) I thought this was a great read so i am surprised it doesn't come nibbed - its a lovely family scene - nice one Kat xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Why thank you, ld! And... no, I haven't tried them, but never say never! ;o) Though I'm fast leaning towards a veggie diet these days - it'll be hard to give up the chicken curries and chicken roasts, but maybe I won't have a choice soon - eek!

Kat x


OFF THE RECORD (posted on: 17-02-06)
My entry for Nic's recent competition... a slight edit since.

Scott was a crap husband. I hear him come in. He doesn't know that I'm in our bed. We're having a trial separation – his idea. But after two torturous weeks of faking I'm OK while my heart attempts 'business as usual', I'd decided to put an end to the misery and confront my fears. Our spacious flat looked out over the Forth estuary – you could see the whiteness of gannets on the Bass Rock when the sky was blue enough. It'd been Scott's 'bachelor pad' and I'd felt claustrophobic and ill-at-ease since moving in after our marriage six months ago. I'd stare out of the Velux windows towards the constant of the Rock and wait for Scott to come home – late and drunk. It had become the Bastard Rock – it wasn't its fault.      Scott had gone straight to the bathroom – a waterfall of semen-flecked urine, then a baptism and an attempt to magic sin away. His feet padded along the corridor until they reached the bedroom door which creaked open:      'Oh, fuck! What are you doing here?' He had a yellow glow.      'It's my home too, you know.' I shielded my eyes from the glare. He undressed and I noticed his tie peeking out of his suit pocket - it might as well have been a ripped condom packet. The discarded Armani looked like a scarecrow on the back of the wardrobe door. A cold boxer-shorted body bounced into bed. The moon showed me his back, the one that she would have clung to as he fucked her. I could smell her - Jasmine, the management trainee. What do you do when you realise you've married a chameleon? Day one of our honeymoon in Paris, and I already see his green features slime in the April sunshine. We'd consummated the marriage though that had been touch and go – it's not easy having sex with a rubber man but I wanted a wedding night, hoping for an alchemy negating all the shite from our wedding day. He'd reeked of Laphroaig and Marlboros and there was also the faint whiff of the fish supper (drowned in salt and sauce) he'd crammed into his mouth on the way to Glasgow airport.     My mum and I had arrived at the Registrar's, giggly from Buck's Fizz, to be told that Scott's mum was still having her hair done but would join us for the reception at the Willows Hotel. His dad was there – looking edgy. Scott wore his Hunting Macrae kilt which the wind was trying its hardest to raise as he chain smoked in the pebbled garden with Ryan, his best man. The honeymoon was all about him and his 'presentation.' He'd been given a second stage interview for the sales director position at WhiskyGalore plc which was in four days when we flew back to Glasgow. I'd lie on the bed as he 'presented' – his smug smarminess made me want to shove his key points up his arse! Then he'd go for an aromatherapy massage with glossy-haired Pascalle from the hotel spa. I'd wander the labyrinthine streets of Montmartre, sit on the steps leading to the Sacre Coeur and try to pinpoint at what stage Scott's charm offensive had mutated into a creep's convention. It'd been a sweeping, swirling, hurricane of a romance where he'd stormed me with endless wit and humour, a continent of Thornton's chocolates, a stadium of sweet-scented flowers and boxed-sets of love poetry. I didn't want the doubters to be right – not least, his mother. Scott looked happy and handsome as he stood to give his speech and even I laughed when he joked that the red dish brush he was brandishing was my toothbrush. His mother looked in the opposite direction and found the d้cor interesting as Scott thanked her and his dad for all they'd done for him. It's hard to go through the motions of your wedding day pretending that all's well, when it isn't. But how can you stop when you've already jumped? His mum's mean, scrunched up face was a Voodoo doll to what I'd believed was love between Scott and me. About two months after the wedding, we were in The Crow's Nest with Ryan, breathing in the cocktail of smoke and alcohol. We were tipsy, and when Scott went to the loo, Ryan leaned over:      'Of course, you'll know by now what was wrong with her?'      'Who, and what?' I drained my glass.      'Scott's mum. She'd been on a mission to get him not to marry you. Said that you wouldn't be good for his career because you were the wrong colour.'      'She said that? She did that?' Scott was getting more drinks in and when he came back with a triangle of pints, I let him place their wet bottoms on the table then tugged his denim jacket towards me.      'What's this about your mum? Why didn't you tell me any of this? If she didn't want you to marry me because she's a racist, all you had to do was tell me. I would have run a mile – problem solved!'      'That's what I didn't want.' Scott peered into his Guinness. I lie there watching the movement of his shoulders. I-know-that-he-knows-that-I-know. He turns around and grabs me like he's been running. He doesn't say a thing. He holds me all night long - his feet grasping mine like pincers.      In the morning his 360 degree eyes are open and he's attempting to focus them on mine:      'Let's give it three more months. Let's try and make it work.' I'm so glad to hear this. Though I know I'm only extending the lease - from his mother who will never let him go, and from my head which knows I'm going to have to. He snaps a kiss and nearly chokes me with his extensile tongue.               
Archived comments for OFF THE RECORD
Bradene on 17-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Criky what disturbing read and what a brave girl I would be off like a shot... BAStard! Great Story Kat told with great flare and wit. Loved it Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

You are very kind with your comments - thank you muchly - have a great weekend!

Kat x

Claire on 17-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Yup, that's right, gotta stick together to piss the mother-in-law off. LOL

You have a canny piece here hun.

Author's Reply:
*big grin* Love your comment, Claire, and thanks for taking the time to read!

Kat :o)

Jen_Christabel on 17-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Very disturbing and also, of course, very good :o)
Damn fine read.
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer

Thank you very much for reading and commenting!

When we were in London last week, we had some brilliant traditional pastys from a take away (West Cornwall Pasty Co) - I can't get them out of my head! :o) Better than my usual favourites, Dewdney's!

Have a great weekend!

Kat x

niece on 18-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Kat,
I loved the description of Scott, the chameleon...and also his indifferent mother. Not one of the best situations in life, but Kat, you've managed to make it palatable with your humour and style.
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment - and that was a lovely, heartening one!

Cheers

Kat x

RoyBateman on 18-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Yep, really disturbing - and not only because of the husband...the narrator's indecision and sheer lack of commonsense makes it doubly so. Very good write, out of the ordinary run of black-and-white characterisation. Oh, no pun intended there!
ps You weren't sponsored by the Scottish Tourist Board, were you?

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

Your comment has me chuckling here! :o) Many many thanks for taking the time with this.

All the best.

Kat :o)

sirat on 18-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
A very personal kind of piece, expressing a great deal of hurt. I loved the way you maintained the metaphor of the chameleon, the 360 degree eyes, feet grasping like pincers, extensile tongue. I like chameleons but I don't know if I would want to marry one. The bit that was missing in this for me was the first part, the narrator's motivation for wanting to marry a man whom she found so repellant. Chocolates and flowers, yes, but surely there was something more than that? If we take it all at face value the narrator seems something of a fool, not because of the mother-in-law's racism, which is a factor outside their control and in a way outside their relationship, but because alarms should have sounded about the man himself. And as Bradene said, why wasn't she out of there like a shot? Why would she even dream of giving the relationship another three months? I'm sure this kind of thing does happen though, women and men get "swept off their feet" into intolerable situations and don't have the courage to break free. I thought the narrator's motivation was a lot more interesting than the mother-in-law/racism aspect, which seemed to be given undue space. Great work though. One tiny grammatical point: what Iโ€™d believed was love between Scott and me, not Scott and I.

Author's Reply:
Hi sirat

That's a great comment and I really appreciate you having taken the time with this, and thanks for the pointer to the grammatical point - I had realised it wasn't correct, but was going for what I thought sounded better and was perhaps more common usage. But perhaps it's better to be 'correct'... I'll change that then - thank you.

Yes, the thing with the narrator in this is that it was only on the actual wedding day that she realised things were amiss, but was swept along with the mechanics of it, and not wanting the doubters to be right (it had been a whirlwind romance). She had been swept off her feet by the 'charm' and apparent love of her husband-to-be... but that soon changed (on the wedding day).

I think the narrator was certainly naive, but she didn't know or have any hint things were wrong before the wedding day... and of course, she did love him and want it to work so was prepared to give it another chance. The mother-in-law/racism aspect was pivotal as it was this fact that showed Scott's deceit to the narrator - he didn't let her know 'before' the wedding and it is a very destructive force when you realise you've got into something you would have run a mile from if you could. Also, you don't want to hurt your own family by letting them in on the sad facts.

Thanks again sirat! I'm always delighted when you pop in for a read!

Kat :o)

Andrea on 18-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Gawd, what a replusive character - I'd have legged it ages ago. Well-written Kat, enjoyed it in a shuddering-at-ghastly-bloke sort of way ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Hi Andrea

Yes, how right you are... hindsight and all that! ;o) Thanks a lot for reading and commenting - very much appreciated.

Kat :o)

e-griff on 18-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
well, another in a series of good stories from Nic's comp. I know she said she was disappointed with the number of entries, but having read them now, I would say they have all been pretty good! So a big vote of thanks to Nic - you certainly got good results.

I loved the madness of this one, and the underlying deadly serious emotion...



Author's Reply:
Thanks, griffy - I appreciate your comments very much. Yes, Nic had some great entries - I think I've read the others, but one - didn't you have one too? Have I missed it? Would love to read it.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Griffonner on 18-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
This was told with such skill and confidence that you could be forgiven for thinking it was faction. It is hard to realise that someone can even contemplate proceeding with a marriage hoping/praying/dreaming that it is all going to change the moment the gold band gets slid onto their finger. But it happens, and this piece of yours brought what seems that absurd side of passion and emotion in such circumstances, to life. And then went on to make it appear completely rational. The reader being left with a real sense of sorrow and sympathy for the narrator. May her God help her!

Brilliantly done IMHO.

You dont want it rated, but I rate it hight enough to go in my favourite list.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, dear Griffoner! Your comments are very heartening and I appreciate you popping this into your favs very much! :o)

Yes, there's an element of truth in this, like there is with much of my writing, though I try to make amalgams... and (hands up) the mother-in-law wasn't made up! ;o)

Thank you again!

Kat x

Emerald on 18-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Hi Kat,

Extending the Lease is just the right term - I think we do that so often in a relationship - knowing deep down its just never going to work. A good story touching on both issues of racism and over controlling mothers.

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Emma! I really appreciate your comments and it's great to see you around UKA again!

Kat :o)

Sunken on 18-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Excellent write Ms. Kat. I see you've blocked voting? I insist you have this 10 tho. I'll sulk big time if you don't accept it.

s
u
n
k
e
n

somewhere over shadowed

Author's Reply:
I accept it with aplomb... a plum? Thank you very much, Mr Sunk, for taking the time to read and comment. *big kiss*

Kat :o)

wirlong on 19-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Er.... I don't want to read any more about this wimp of a wife--unless she fights back. She must at least kill her husband in five parallel universes.

On the writing side, there were some excellent uses of metaphor and simile throughout this piece. On the style side, I would prefer the history of the past to be more evenly distributed throughout the main scene (which I take to be in the beedroom).

I cannot wait for the next piece because I find some of the sentences very entertaining.

Wirlong.

Author's Reply:
Hi wirlong

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Yes, perhaps the wife seems a bit wimpy... but I had hoped I had shown some of her motivations for taking such a seemingly passive stance, and by the end of the story, she is fighting back, in her way (I thought). Perhaps it's too subtle or I just don't have the skills to do what I set out to do - I had hoped to describe what 'ordinary, real-life' is like for some people - no murders, car chases, physical violence, but mental, psychological and emotional abuse and its effects.

Thank you very much again for your comments, and I really appreciate your reading of this story.

Kat :o)

wirlong on 19-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
If a guy has been having sex with Jasmine, the management trainee, and he thinks it's ok to slink into the bed of his wife...then where is the subtly? If she is not retarded, what's going on?

I am more angry with the wife. Am I the only one?

I often see it written that fiction should not write 'real-life', not literally--because it's boring, and familiar.

Still, a well written piece. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Wirlong.

Author's Reply:
Hi wirlong

Lovely to see you again! :o)

Yes, you're totally right, there's nothing subtle about Scott's actions - I was referring to the motivations of the narrator, the 'why she was still in the marriage etc, when she knew he had been unfaithful?' These things aren't so clear cut and I think that that is what is interesting about looking at 'real-life' as opposed to dealing with 'types'.

I think your anger is very well-placed!

Thank you for letting me know your thoughts which I very much appreciate.

Kat :o)


e-griff on 20-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Kat, to be truthful, I didn't write one... ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Zut alors! Et Quel dommage...

Kat :o)

shackleton on 20-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Gritty reality, Kat, with no pulled punches. Horrible images: 'a waterfall of semen-flecked urine'. I don't think I've encountered a literary description that's more repulsive than that.

You've created a foul creature in this bloke, Kat - I suspect he's in step with a percentage of modern young males. The lady in question needs to stand on her own two feet and kick him to the kerb. I suspect (like a percentage of modern young femails), she won't.

You've got me fired up, Kat. Very well told. Catch you later.

Author's Reply:
Hi shacks

That's a great comment and I thank you kindly for taking the time.

Cheers

Kat :o)

RDLarson on 21-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Very good. And sadly it is the truth of some marriages and partnerships. A rogue I knew went to Vegas to marry a show girl. He picked the one that was needy and poor and lonely. She married him with in three weeks to her everlasting sorry because he was such cruel, lying man. I like this; it's real and painful. I am sure that people stay in relationships where they are not wanted because they are the "lover" not the object of love. How sad. It aptly describes the facade that "party" people put up when underneath they are dreadful. Very good.

Author's Reply:
I love your comment, RD! And I think your take is pretty on the nose. There are many people in relationships, making do, rather than be 'alone' as such... there are many superficial shams in this life.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

Linear on 21-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Very nice. Ending with what can be the most irritating of concepts: 'hope'.
Great bit of storytelling, and a lot of information and emotion to convey in so few works. Great Job ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Cheers, Linear! I appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment very much.

Kat :o)

glennie on 23-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Very well written and entertaining Kat - much impressed with your descriptive style, I can tell you're a poet. Poor girl might end up in this relationship much longer than she thinks - a safe rut rather than hope? Glen.


Author's Reply:
Hello, Winner! :o)

Lovely to hear from you and I appreciate your comments very much - you're very kind.

Cheers

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 23-02-2006
OFF THE RECORD
Kat, I'm late to read this, but have now caught up with all the published stories - I was equally fascinated and repulsed by yours (in the best possible way).You tell a damn fine tale, Kat. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann

Lovely to see you in here and many thanks for a damn fine comment! Have a great weekend!

Kat :o)


Personhood (posted on: 03-02-06)
~

is realising your worth then showing others that you're worth it too
Archived comments for Personhood
red-dragon on 03-02-2006
Personhood
Ah ha, a haiku!! Nice work, Kat. Like your choice of subject. Ann

Author's Reply:
I can't sneak anything past you, Ann. ;o) Thanks a lot for taking the time with this wee poem. Have a great weekend!

Kat :o)

Romany on 03-02-2006
Personhood
Clever haiku, and I agree with the sentiment behind it; it's not always easy though!
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany

And the not always easy bit is 'life', eh? Cheers for commenting - have a lovely weekend.

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 03-02-2006
Personhood
Kat, liked your very profound haiku.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

Thank you kind sir! *grins*

Kat :o)

Bradene on 03-02-2006
Personhood
Wise worded Haiku Kat. I enjoyed reading it. love Val x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, lovely Val!

Kat x

littleditty on 03-02-2006
Personhood
Hmmm! In teres ting Kat and i shall think about that today! Nice one... Ommmmm....


Rated 10

xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
... loving your Om-effect, ld! :o)

Thank you for taking the time with this microscopic-ish ditty - and what a rating! Of course, the ability to 'centre' oneself and internalise this thought into action etc is a part of this whole omm-ing business too, I think.

*retreats into tortoise shell*

Cheers

Kat x

Sunken on 03-02-2006
Personhood
Is this what they call 'Teaspoon poetry' or have I just made that up? Whatever it is, I like it. Am I to stir clockwise or anticlockwise Ms. Kat on a mat? Ahem, what am I on about? I'll just vote. It will save a lot of heartache. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Swindon 3 - High Tar cigarettes 4

Author's Reply:
Hello lovely, Sunky

'Teaspoon poetry' is perfect - thank you for that, and thanks a lot for dropping by with your super brand of humour and wit.

Kat :o)

Gerry on 03-02-2006
Personhood
The worlds gone haiku mad ๐Ÿ˜‰
Clever this Kat--I liked it...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry

Hasn't it? :o) Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - have a good weekend!

Kat x

niece on 04-02-2006
Personhood
Kat,
Lovely haiku...and lovely thoughts too! I completely agree with you on this one...
Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Thank you for dropping by - hope you're having a nice weekend.

Kat :O)

chrissy on 05-02-2006
Personhood
Very nice, very much to the point and very true. Excellent.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
Thank you, chrissy - I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat :o)

Emerald on 07-02-2006
Personhood
Hi Kat

Very pertinent - well done

Emma

Author's Reply:
Hi Emma

Thank you very much!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Abel on 09-02-2006
Personhood
Amen, sister. Thanks for this,

Ward

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting, Abel - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

redlobster on 09-02-2006
Personhood
Great, a profound statement in so few words. Well done

Author's Reply:
Hi redlobster

Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Transitions on 07-03-2006
Personhood
A haiku on personhood
very daring

I am not sure I have a feeling for the haiku, even after someone bought me a book of love haiku as a wedding present

but I think this was a good go.

Maybe counselling courses could be shortened in such measure!

Author's Reply:
Yes, to your last comment! :o) Thanks very much for popping in - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Transitions on 07-03-2006
Personhood
Person hood
curious title person/hood

covered up

person or persona

Are we a blamk without the reflections of the other

just rambling

but if it helps?

Author's Reply:
Hehe, love your ramblings and like what you've rambled together! But I think the thing with personhood is that you have to have a sense of and knowledge of yourself, without it being a reflection or influenced by the thoughts of others, which is the point of it, I think.

Thanks again!

Kat :o)

Transitions on 07-03-2006
Personhood
I think that was the point indeed.
We need to attain praxis, existence, a separate self.

But how do we do it, a sort of inner mirror?

Do I need to reform who I am in response to feedback on my inner processes, my poems?

Author's Reply:
Yes, how do we do it, is indeed the question... I think it's a process, perhaps the process of 'successful' living, which is to my mind using whichever framework of guidance that works for the individual... I'm a fan of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. An inner mirror, is a great way to describe the process!

As to your second question? No! :o)

It's good to think, but my head hurts now (only joking).

Thank you for engaging with this.

Kat


Shady (posted on: 27-01-06)
~

The grey hat sits flat-capped over the town. She is claustrophobic, sad, donning a downy beret that doesn't suit or fit. She craves marigold hours where she can bend her head in thanks her hair a waterfall of orange-yellow. She stalks the shady one flashes a torch in his face rips off his dirty mac beats him with her brolly squirts him with Mace rapes his ears with her assault alarm: I'm seasonally affected! Just out for a walk, don't mind me.
Archived comments for Shady
littleditty on 27-01-2006
Shady
hello Kat - I liked this one. My instinct (sorry, i had an instinct) was to cut the i'm seasonally line - it becomes more disturbing, sinister WhHhHOooooOOO ... i too seasonally need adjusting, don't be SAD Kat -it's a good poem and spring will be here...eventually xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi ld



Many thanks for popping in and for commenting - always love to see you!



I'm not sad at all though (I'm one of those very annoying chirpy people) ;o) but yes, I AM a sun-worshipper like many. The annoying thing (and difference) about the weather here in Germany, is when that dull, cold, winter weather arrives (in October), it stays, without change, until February/March.



The first year I moved here it lasted 7 months! OK, we do get lovely Mediterranean-like summers (how else would the wine grow?), but at least in Scotland, you KNOW that the weather 'changes' frequently... usually in one day... !



I understand your suggestion (and likey), but 'tis meant to be a wee bit humorous so I think I'll leave it for now...at least until the better weather arrives!



Thanks again - have a great weekend!



Kat x

Bradene on 28-01-2006
Shady
Love this Kat Have I read it right?? it sounds just like me((-; Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Yes, I'm sure you have read it right... Do you feel like beating up the sun too? :o)

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated - have a super weekend!

Kat x

Sunken on 28-01-2006
Shady
Lol. You are too clever Ms. Kat of Flap fame. Had to read this a few times (but that's because I'm a boy and we tend to be slower cause our brains get drained of blood to keep other body parts happy for a while... ok, for a second or two) Anyway, that's not important right now. Well done, eat toast, think about decorating a bedroom and try to do something with that squeaky door. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

tomorrow they may just leave him

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunks

Many thanks for your lovely comment and all that good advice! ;o) I'm feeling a wee bit sentimental as I've just watched 'Free Willy' on DVD (had never seen it before), and I've got a thing for whales... but all that sounds a bit 'loaded'... er... so, thanks again Mr Munky and I hope you're having a whale of a time this weekend! :o)

Kat x

Lare on 29-01-2006
Shady
Hi Kat...very nicely painted...your words turn an overcast day into an animated force that almost dictates your theme. I really like your ending here..."Just out for a walk, don't mind me"...I love this...like saying...don't take life so seriously, it will all work out...

Perfect...just perfect...

Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare

That's a lovely comment - thank you very much! *grins*

Kat :o)

RoyBateman on 29-01-2006
Shady
Good ending - de-fused it somewhat! It's not that I've got a dirty mac or anything (no, honest) but I'm glad you're not prowling the streets near me...good poem that veers swiftly from depression almost into humour in the last verse - an odd mix in theory, but you pulled it off neatly. Definitely one that bears several readings!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

Many thanks for a great comment - much appreciated! Hope you're having a good Sunday.

Kat :o)

niece on 29-01-2006
Shady
Dear Kat,
Roy is so right...this needs to be read several times over and each time you seem to understand something more...Good poem!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Cheers, niece! I must admit I even found that myself when reading it... ;o)

Hope you're having a good Sunday.

Kat :o)

Apolloneia on 29-01-2006
Shady
this is brilliant Kat

x

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic

It's so lovely to see you! Hope all's well and I look forward to reading your poetry again soon. :o) Thanks very much for a lovely comment and for the HS - I'm delighted with that.

Cheers

Kat x

Leila on 29-01-2006
Shady
Absolutely delightful...brill last line..L
I used cat-flapped in a poem last year so loved your flat-capped.

Author's Reply:
Hello lovely Leila

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - very much appreciated.

Kat :o)


The HBC (posted on: 23-01-06)
Melanie's jamming... ;o)

The windjammers were lined up in front of the bronzed, reddened or freckled customers in Boogie's Bar. It was 'happy hour' and Melanie sat behind purple-tinted sunglasses, sun-tanned and relaxed, sipping one of Boogie's sunset-coloured creations. It was week two of her holiday in Jamaica and she had become a slave to this sun-downer tradition.      She nestled her back into the floral cushion of the rattan chair, poked her legs through the white railings surrounding the pool, and stared out at the ocean. The warm, honey-scented wind had already whipped her curly hair dry.          The separation from Micky and his malignant mother had been easier than expected. Six weeks of moping then pow! The decision to grab the bull by its balls and go on holiday by herself.      Bill and Ben, the IT specialists who'd befriended her, would rhapsodise about Jamaica's delights - with its laid back reggae beat of a lifestyle and gorgeous weather - but said they could never live there. Melanie thought that odd – she'd never felt so in tune before. The aqua-marine vistas and the sound of waves pounding the white shores like a sex-mad lover, made her want to stay forever. Perhaps something called to the quarter of her that was Afro-Caribbean.      The crimson sun slipped into the sea and Melanie mimicked its action by dipping her maraschino cherry beneath the frothy waves of her drink. She smiled at the thought of another 'tipsy' shower, then scooshed up the remnants of her cocktail with an eager sucking sound. She knotted a sarong around her hips and sashayed towards the verandah of her bungalow, blissfully alone.      Drizzling herself in coconut shower gel, she wondered where she might eat that evening. Perhaps she would even succumb to Randy the Rasta Man – why not? He had a huge, black, catamaran.     
Archived comments for The HBC
tai on 23-01-2006
The HBC
Paradise indeed Kat, my late husband went to Tobago, just before meeting me, we travelled the world together as youngster, and he still said it was the best place he had ever visited. One day, I too will be sloshed in a beach bar like that. I love the last lines, I also hear, the wonders of Jamaica are endly! (pun intended)lol 10 if I could, from grinning Tai

Author's Reply:
Lovely to hear from you, Tai! Yes, I would certainly like to go back to the Caribbean one day and Trinidad and Tobago would be own my hit list. You must have some brilliant memories of your travels with your husband? And sloshed in a beach bar is never such a bad state of affairs. ;o)

Thanks for reading (and rating!).

I hope you are well.

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 23-01-2006
The HBC
Kat, a great read for a cold Monday lunchtime. I've never been to the Caribbean, so I lived this vicariously! Whew.....
Ann

Author's Reply:
Ann, thanks for reading and commenting! Yeh, a bit of Caribbean sun, etc ;o) always goes down a treat - yeeha!

Kat :o)

niece on 23-01-2006
The HBC
Kat
This is as beautiful and exotic as the locales described here...what a way to enjoy new-found freedom!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Thanks for a lovely comment, niece - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Jen_Christabel on 23-01-2006
The HBC
Sounds like sheer bliss to me! Take me there......We nearly went to jamaica but a hurricane hit and destroyed a lot of the hotels. Typical eh? How I would have loved to visit the home of my fave music.
Great read Kat.
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Cheers for a lovely comment, Jen... hey, maybe your hubby has a surprise in store for you for Valentine's Day? :o)

Kat x

Ginger on 23-01-2006
The HBC
I can almost feel the sea breeze in my hair...ahhh. When you go back, can you please squeeze me in your suitcase?

Oh, and I especially liked the last line!

Lisa

Author's Reply:
Hi Lisa

I don't think I'll have the funds for a while, but... yes, your on (or in)! ;o) Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Kat :o)

Gerry on 23-01-2006
The HBC
I can vouch for the Caribbean sun---but none of the huge catamarans I saw were black ๐Ÿ˜‰
nice one...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
Mon Dieu, really, Gerry? I must admit...me neither! ;o) Allowances have to made for one's imagination... er... um... fantasies, non?

Thanks a lot for commenting - much appreciated!

Kat x

Dargo77 on 24-01-2006
The HBC
Kat, good atmospheric piece. Dipping ones cherry and drizzling in coconut gel sounds so good...thats next years holiday sorted then.
Regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hehe... great comment, Dargo! *smirks* Thank you very much for giving this your time - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

RDLarson on 30-01-2006
The HBC
Sounds very glam and wonderful. Maybe I could go there. Nah! I just had a holiday in the UK. Not one catamaran though along the Thames. But ever so lovely just the same. This is good writing and heady perfume for daydreams. Good job.

Author's Reply:
Cheers, RD - I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!

Kat :o)

Bradene on 12-02-2006
The HBC
Love this Kat, shades of Shirley Valentine, only wish I had the nerve to do it. Loved this bit:- then scooshed up the remnants of her cocktail with an eager sucking sound. (scooshed) what a delicious word! ((-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Many thanks for taking the time to let me know what you thought - much appreciated. I'm just back from a wee trip to London and hope to catch up with some reading on the site this week. I had a quick peek and noted that some of you have posted your 'OFF THE RECORD' stories - I can't wait to read them all.

Thanks again.

Kat x


A Pregnant Moment (posted on: 20-01-06)
~

I'd asked Finn if he'd meet me after work. I had news for him. He couldn't disguise the excitement in his voice – I felt bear-hugged and burled around by his where and what time?      I could see him sitting underneath the illuminated red 'D' of The American Diner as I looked up from the street. I grabbed a February programme from the small art-house cinema next door – everything as normal, I thought, though I felt alive, almost like I imagined a mother-to-be would.      His face beamed with expectation as he got up to kiss me, squeezing my arms affectionately through the thickness of my duffel coat. We held hands across the table, moving the ketchup bottle and mustard to one side. I was desperate to launch into the details, but the pretty Asian waitress requested our order:      'A diet coke and the nutty chicken salad,' I said.      'I'll have the chilli-burger and a Miller-Lite,' Finn added.      We must have looked so ordinary but everything was different for us now. Finn took my hands again and focused his blue eyes on my brown ones, and waited patiently for me to begin.      'Oh, look what I bought for Dave and Donna's wedding… And I got you a new deodorant… And what do you think of this cute fairy card for Emma?' (our niece). I felt almost decadent with time, making the most of the gap between Finn not knowing and knowing - spreading out this longed-for occasion like a geisha's fan.      'One diet coke, and one beer – enjoy!' The waitress faded into the background again.      'OK,' I said. 'When I rang to ask how far up the waiting list we were, the nurse told me we were more or less at the top. In fact, she said, ''We have a possible donor for you!''' Finn's eyes widened and a huge grin sat on his face as he lifted his beer:      'Cheers!' He continued to hold my left hand with his right.      'Cheers!' I replied, clinking his glass with mine before continuing, 'She's thirty-two, around my height (five foot six), has dark brown hair and blue/green eyes,' I paused and took a sip of coke. 'She weighs nine and a half stone, has six 0-levels, does aerobics and likes reading.' Finn nodded, smiled and sipped his beer. 'The nurse ran through the list and asked if she sounded OK. It was really weird. How could a woman who had agreed to share her eggs with you, not sound OK?' Finn smiled, nodded and sipped his beer. 'She asked me if I wanted to speak to you first, but I said you'd be fine about going ahead.' Finn leant over to kiss me.      'Chilli-burger?' The waitress brandished an oval plate with a mountainous meat-packed bun and a mound of home fries which Finn would dip in a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise. We tucked into our food and I noticed there was a Liverpool game on the big screen – Steven Gerrard had just scored and was running around with flailing arms before a team mate caught up with him and pulled his top up over his head. Which made me think of an ostrich burying its head in the sand, and reminded me of our decision to put our names forward for egg donation – it hadn't been easy but it was better than the unimaginable alternative of never having your own children.      I stabbed at bits of chicken and chewed them slowly. Finn was relishing his burger – I loved the way he approached everything with enthusiasm. Like his decision to marry a woman ten years older than him.      'Imagine the nurse asking if it would be OK?' I repeated. 'Altruistic donors are like goddesses as far as I'm concerned…'      We had waited more than two years for this moment. In America the waiting lists weren't long at all, but the treatment was more expensive. In America donors were paid for their services, and I'd seen a website that claimed to have no waiting lists: 'Ivy League' donors were sought and offered (and at what price?). I'd been shocked to learn that eugenics was alive and kicking.          I knew where I would draw the line.
Archived comments for A Pregnant Moment
uppercase on 20-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
Kat I like this piece very much, is there more? It's leaving me wondering you could take it a long way, I wish you would It's very good...love erma

Author's Reply:
Hi Erma

It's great to see you again! I hope all is well with you - loved your stories in the UKA anthology! Many thanks for your comments which I appreciate very much - I hadn't planned to take it further, but thank you for thinking its got legs!

Cheers

Kat x

RoyBateman on 20-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
Well, you caught me - there was I, naturally, thinking that it was something different...didn't suspect this storyline at all. Are you sure it's a female problem - couldn't the infertility have something to do with this guy's diet? I was hooked, because there are all sorts of questions waiting to be raised - I don't usually do this, but I must say that I agree with the above comment - I'd have liked this to continue from the point at which you left it. I hope that's the plan!

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

I'm chuckling at what you said about his diet! :o) But it is her problem, owing to her lack of ovarian function - I kind of wrote this as a food for thought piece and hadn't planned to take it further - all these issues and difficulties for couples fascinate me, because they're such 'human' stories and it's heartbreaking to see people going through the motions of such.

Thank you again!

Kat :o)

Jen_Christabel on 21-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
I think that potentially there is a lot of mileage in this.
I loved the way you wove the mundane things (ordering food etc) around the grit of the story. It made the story seem to real.
Nicely done
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer

I appreciate you reading and commenting very much - thank you! I see your wonderful Mr Trubb is billboarding - now there's a character it would be good to see more of!

Kat x

froget on 21-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
This seems too un-finished for a flash. I feel bad saying this because I get the same comments for my pieces. The scene is very well described. And it's just like a man to keep his mouth shut and let the woman gabble on.

Author's Reply:
Hi froget

Cheers for reading and commenting - much appreciated!

I do take your point, but I guess I was aiming to capture 'a scene' in a relationship and hopefully give a bit of food for thought - kinda like jumping onto a train in mid-chug? *she says, hopefully*

Thanks again - I'll have to check out some of your work.

Kat :o)

Ionicus on 21-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
Well, dear Kat, I have to disagree with the above commentators. I thought the piece made the point very well and succinctly. You captured the essential elements of this couple's relationship and showed the exuberant personality of the woman which contrasted with the taciturn partner. The intrusive waitress also added a nice touch to the story.

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

Thank you for a lovely comment! It really is good though, to see the differing opinions and I am open to suggestions for improvement (of course), but the wee piece was a 'capsule' as far as I was concerned.

Hope you're having a lovely weekend.

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 21-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
Kat, I've read, re-read and read again and each time, seen different things. My impression is, yes, it's a story in itself, but it can have further 'episodes'.
The whole thing that you have explored here is at a 'human level' with credible dialogue. Very clever. If you decide to write more, I will definitely read. Cheers. Ann

Author's Reply:
Comment for you below, Ann - thanks again!

Kat x

Kat on 21-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
Hi Ann

Thank you, wonderful villanelle writer, for your comment - much appreciated. Yes, the human level element and interaction/reaction was the focus here.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

red-dragon on 21-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
Kat, as always, the human bit is the most important.
Ann
PS who's this wonderful vilanelle writer then, eh?? I dunno, someone suggested an anthology and, lo and behold........blimey, can't keep a secret these days.

Author's Reply:
...I crept back in...but *bloodcurdling cry* someone had pipped me to the UKA nom button! *shock, horror* And judging by the comments received...I think you may have one or two suspects... *Watson, we've got work to do*

It's time for my whisky - night,night!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Sunken on 22-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
Really enjoyed this young Kat of flap fame. Kept me hooked, not easy as I'm a slippery git. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Man Utd 1 - Saturn 5

Author's Reply:
Aw shucks, thank you Spunkers... which reminds me... we haven't had a poem about your testicles recently! ;o)

Kat x

niece on 24-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
Kat,
One could sense the suppressed excitement of the couple so well. This is beautifully written!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment - it's always lovely to know that you've done so.

Kat x

sirat on 26-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
This is an enjoyable piece which creates a highly realistic scene and a strong sense of atmosphere. But like practically all ultra-short stories it leaves everything hanging at the end: it's a limitation of flash fiction itself. Just as you are beginning to involve your reader and build up to something, it's all over. I think another danger with this kind of piece is that with so little space in which to develop characters or explore ideas you can often end up with stereotypes. Older woman, younger man, infertility, good relationship, laudible unwillingness to get involved in eugenics. It all becomes telegraphic in its shortness and there isn't time to get beneath the surface to where all the quirky and interesting stuff lurks. It isn't a criticism of this particular piece, which is very well written, but when you take on a serious subject in a few hundred words I think you always leave your reader a bit dissatisfied. How about making it the introduction to something longer and more substantial?

Author's Reply:
Hi sirat

Yes, I do agree with your comments, which I appreciate very much. I don't necessarily agree that the characters were so very stereotypical though - from what I know and have seen with people in this situation, I felt I was fairly true to the reality of such sad circumstances for couples. I think the failure (as you and others have mentioned) has been my delving into a big topic with a shortie! ;o)

I have written a piece about human cloning called, 'Woman Island' - maybe I'll give that a tidy up and post at a later stage.

Thank you again for taking the time to read and comment, and I am actually looking at issues like these in the novel that I'm writing with the working title, 'A Womb with a View'... wish me luck! Yikes!

Cheers

Kat :o)

RDLarson on 27-01-2006
A Pregnant Moment
I love flash fiction. It's a glimmer of a moment in time. Said and done. With a snap. Sometimes I read flashes that I've printed out and rolled up when I have to travel. I think this is one of the best for it very womanliness (can people still say that?) and I can see Diane Keaton in the staring roll in a romantic comedy or alternatively, as a happy scene in my mind. I like it. Great work.

Author's Reply:
Hi RD

Thank you for a really lovely comment and response to this wee flash - very much appreciated.

Thank you also for the HA pick! :o)

Have a great weekend!

Kat x


Erecting Barriers (posted on: 16-01-06)
A bonk a day keeps the sex therapist away! ;o)

Sex? Oh yes we used to have it like eager beavers twigs carefully entwined - a perfect Kerplunk of building blocks a foundation to stave off predators and hold back the tears of loneliness. Sex? Oh yes I remember it lapping endlessly like Duracell bunnies foreplay preluding a prologue leading to at least three acts an epic, capable of conquering the world of our bedroom and shagging our dreams. Sex? Damn sex!
Archived comments for Erecting Barriers
Warhorse on 16-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Hi there very well done on this one it is so true of many relationships but not all lololol
rgds mike

Author's Reply:
Hi Mike

Ta muchly for reading and commenting!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 16-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Kat, I loved the reference to the 'Duracell bunnies' a great image. Well written as always.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Dargo - it's always lovely to see you...got time for a cuppa? ;o)

Kat :o)

eddiesolo on 16-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Kat, I must admit that like Drago, the Duracell bunnies is a great image.

Nice piece, enjoyed the read.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Hi Si

Cheers for reading and commenting - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Lare on 16-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Hi Kat...read this first thing this morning...you've put a smile on me for the day...very well thought out as this is masterfully so very simple in its principle. Sort of like, "Oh my...nothing like another quickie time out...and then...back to the usual things of the day capped with..."Und Tschuss!"

Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare

You've put a smile on my face too with your great comment - thank you!

Kat :o)

Ionicus on 16-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Excellent Kat. Right up my street. And the image of bunnies powered by batteries which never run out. Priceless!
Love, Luigi.

P.S. Why the shyness about rating?

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

Thank you, young man! ;o) That's a great comment, and re the ratings button...och, I just find it unnecessary/I dinnae like it - much prefer to see what folks have to say...thanks again!

Kitten x

niece on 17-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Dear Kat,
My favourite line was "a perfect Kerplunk
of building blocks..."...says so much!
Good work!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Thank you very much for reading and commenting!

Kat :o)

Bradene on 17-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Splendid Poem Kat where on earth is the nib. I remember sex too ! ((-; Val x

Author's Reply:
*grins like a mad woman*

Thanks for a great comment, Val!

Kat x

RoyBateman on 18-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Great - apart from the wistful tone at the end! Why not take up sex therapy? I reckon you'd be pretty damn good at it - and who knows, there might be practicals....

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

Love your comment...but this is, of course, 'tongue-in-cheek'...Things aren't that bad...yet! ;o)

Cheers

Kat :o)

shackleton on 18-01-2006
Erecting Barriers
Good one Kat. Reminded me of a chat I had with an old feller, a few years ago. We'd both stopped smoking some time previous and he suddenly said, 'I remember cigarettes - don't remember sex'. Enjoyed your poem - take care.

Author's Reply:
Hi shacks

Thank you kindly for reading and commenting - always good to see you popping in.

Kat :o)


The Unbearable Lightness of Parody (posted on: 13-01-06)
Apologies to Milan Kundera... ;o)

Es muss sein! The idea of eternal return is indeed a mysterious one… Tomas and Franz circled each other like a couple of Sumo wrestlers. There was nothing at all kitsch in their movements.      'Strip!' said Tomas. Franz found it fascinating that Sabina's lover had just given the direction he would give to her. He imagined her eyes upon him as he removed his clothing. He wanted her to know the cess-pit of his despair. That it had come to this - vicarious sexploits with men she had known.      For Tomas's part, he was in predatory search of a new challenge, a new study of enchantment. He'd become heavy with humanity. He wanted to jump off the precipice and fly, light as a non-believer. A non-believer in monogamy or heterosexuality. He had already ascertained in appraisal of Franz's muscular form, that einmal ist keinmal.      As for Franz – he was about to realise his fantasy of the Grand March. What better way to brotherhood? And how miserably sisterhood had failed him. Perhaps he didn't really desire Tomas, but there must be obstacles for it to be the Grand March!      Franz believed orgasm to be the silence of music. Tomas believed it to be the voice – thus, they were a match made in communalism! es muss sein = it must be einmal ist keinmal = once is nothing/one time is no time
Archived comments for The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
tai on 13-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
A blow for homogenous sexuality Kat. Well done he was!lol Great work. Smiling at you, Tai

Author's Reply:
Hi Tai-ger

It's lovely to see you again - hope you've posted something for today? Thanks a lot for reading and the comments.

Kat :o)

RoyBateman on 13-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
Here...have you been watching "Women in Love" again?

Author's Reply:
Moi? *chuckles* I was just trying to colour a 'wee' bit outside the lines - this was fun to do...

Cheers for reading, Roy!

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 13-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
Kat, something very different from you. I found it to be so well written and held me to the end (excuse the pun).
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Dargo! It was a style exercise I had to do for a course. I really appreciate your comments. Have a lovely weekend!

Kat :o)

AnneB on 14-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
Thought this was very funny - and quite biting too. Loved it!

:))


A
xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi Anne

Thank you very much!

Cheers

Kat :o)

littleditty on 14-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
Dear Kat - bonkers - i like this piece -it is so very tightly written, every word counts - makes perfect sense and is as mad as a March hare -Enjoyed - read it three times straight off -it's got something...peculiarly Kat! xxxlittleditty

Author's Reply:
*grins like a Cheshire*

Thank you for a great comment, ld - 'mad' is always good in my book...hehe.

Kat x

niece on 15-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
I couldn't make out what the phrases in italics meant(I couldn't even if I tried). I guess, one needs to know that so as to enjoy the rest fully. Thanks.
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Thank you for giving this your time - much appreciated! I've added a couple of translations of the German at the bottom of the piece - I'm not sure if that illuminates anything further, and perhaps understanding (or not!) has more to do with being familiar with the book by Milan Kundera 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being'.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

shackleton on 15-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
I'm still thinking about this one, Kat. I thought you were the girl next door - but perhaps you're the girl across the road. This is a fascinating piece - 'women in love' came to mind (2 naked men wrestling in front of a big fire). Such diversity in your writing - very good!

Author's Reply:
Hi shacks

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment! I hope that your Children's Anthology is coming along well - I look forward to an update on it.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Jen_Christabel on 18-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
It too reminded me of that scene - wasn't Oliver Reed a hunk in is heyday! Phoaw!
Very intelligent piece :o) going a bit over my head at times, but I got there in the end LOL LOL
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer

I appreciate your comments very much - thank you! Yes, he wasn't bad at all!

Kat :o)

RDLarson on 20-01-2006
The Unbearable Lightness of Parody
much fun great read. and funny too. It's got it all.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks! I appreciate you reading.

Cheers

Kat :o)


On New Year's Day (posted on: 09-01-06)
Wishing you all lots of love, light and luck for 2006! And this is VERY tongue-in...cheek! ;o)

Jeezo... we resolved never to enter the mixed-sex spa again. Nonchalant naked German men were promised but bubbling with perversion, their eyeballs slanted to our fleshy geometric shapes. A sprinkling of oglers? Or a wave of wankers intent on embarrassing us further than we had ourselves. And though our heads assumed disinterest our eyes were like magnets clamping glances without consent. We calmed down in the ice rain simmered in the steam room before the full frontal of our giggles in the thermal pool where we amused ourselves (and others?) discussing at length, lengths, technique demands - enjoying a chuckling revenge before wrapping ourselves in dressing gowns champagne and a wrinkly five hours later returning home for Fleisch Fondue.
Archived comments for On New Year's Day
niece on 09-01-2006
On New Years Day
Kat,
Naughty but nice poem...liked your revenge very much!!!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Thank you for commenting - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Gerry on 09-01-2006
On New Years Day
Nothing like a mixed sauna after an hour of squash--with the lovely ladies of Erlangen. How well I remember them Kat ๐Ÿ˜‰

Gerry xxx.


Author's Reply:
Hehe, Gerry, lovely to hear from you! :o)

I guess if I looked like Heidi Klum I would feel more confident...normally I would go on 'ladies only day' but that wasn't an option with my friend only being here for a few days. And I DO admire people that can be confident in their nakedness (of any shape and size - why not?), but I had always assumed that no-one bothered looking at anyone else, but that is so NOT the case, it would seem. A German lady I know assures me that having a good look and a chat about everyone is all part of the fun! Eek!

Thanks again, and I look forward to catching up with some of your work soon.

Kat x

Jen_Christabel on 09-01-2006
On New Years Day
Sounds interesting! LOL

I loved the humour in this bit....

discussing at length, lengths, technique

Interesting read, reminding me that I must never visit a mixed sauna!

Jen :o)

Author's Reply:
*Chuckles* Thanks for a great comment, Jen! I'm a great believer in trying anything once...and it certainly got the New Year off with a...ahem...damp squib!

Kat :o)

littleditty on 10-01-2006
On New Years Day
Dear Kat! I've been wondering about your line breaks on this and i have just stopped, now laughing!!!

'German men were promised but' HAHAhahHAhHHAhHHAa!!!!

I have to say this brought back memories of the Japanese wash houses - sento - that i had to go to! Only the occasional spa was mixed, but the curiosity of the japanese women when one two or three gaijin (foriegner/outside person/aliens) appeared to wash themselves, was mostly shy, sometimes hostile. Anyway - enjoyed this and will read it again later - cheers! xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi ld

Comment for you below!

Kat x

Kat on 10-01-2006
On New Years Day
Hi lovely ld

All comments/suggestions welcome and received with an open mind! :o) YOU'RE A POET!

I sometimes wonder if it's my 'kinda' Scottish lilt (though I'm technically English) that makes this read, perhaps awkwardly to others?)...or just my dodgy line breaks! :o) Not that you have implied that (yet!). *giggles maniacally*

Thanks for popping in and I enjoyed reading your comment.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 10-01-2006
On New Years Day
But means BUm right! you scottish, english technically lilting people know that right?! I will take another look properly -on the dash and hop at the mo - i didn't imply -did i imply? - i don't think i implied! I might later thoughOOOOOW cheeky me! xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hehe...butt (? Americanism) = buttocks, YES, my 'but' could have a bit of wordplay I hadn't intended... but the ld poetic lense has picked it up! Yeeha - I like that!

Implications were all mine! :o)

Always great to banter with you littleditty.

TTFN

Kat x

Ionicus on 10-01-2006
On New Years Day
I love this Kat. Just up my street. I can imagine the scene.
I particularly like the following lines:

Nonchalant naked
German men were promised but
bubbling with perversion, their eyeballs slanted to
our fleshy geometric shapes.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigissimo!

Lovely to hear from you and many thanks for your comments - much appreciated!

Kat x

pencilcase on 10-01-2006
On New Years Day
Hi Kat - I suppose it's a bit late to wish you a 'guten Rutsch' but I'll do that anyway!

Well, yes, this is tongue-in-cheek, but I think it's a good piece, if I may put it in those terms, and I think it gets across well the superficial, or at least the expected nonchalance, whilst at the same time expressions of disinterest cannot win through entirely! I don't think you need to italicize 'length' - it's clear enough without that, imo.

The 'Fleisch Fondue' rounds it off nicely - all those little pieces of meat being dipped into the 'cauldron'!!

Guten Appetit!

Steve

Author's Reply:
Dankeschรถn und gleichweise!

Steve, that is such a great comment, thank you...I'm chuckling (again!).

Yes, I see what you mean about the italicised 'length' but It was more to give the emphasis with pronunciation, if that makes sense or works? Of course, this was also for my friend's benefit, as I said I'd do a wee poem for her to commemorate her visit! :o)

All the best of everything good for 2006!

Thanks again, Steve.

Kat :o)


littleditty on 11-01-2006
On New Years Day
Dear Kat -the same idea in line two, that positionind of your line break - first thought, it's the 'we' that were Nonchalant naked, then the line continues and we know it is the German men you were refering to! I thought this was a deliberate tactic of yours and thinks it works really well especially as it is a time of both looking and being seen. Love particularly the first two lines of stanza 3 - and the rest is great! Now - what is 'Fleisch'/flesh (Fondue) / I know fondue -but what is the Fleisch one? Great end line, even not knowing! xxxlittleditty x



Author's Reply:
I've boobed again...comment for you below!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Kat on 11-01-2006
On New Years Day
You're back! *grins in delight* Hehe...'Fleisch' is meat...thanks for giving this your time, ld!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 11-01-2006
On New Years Day
You can't not look at the crotchet region, it's a great space, be discreet, squint and yawn at the same time, grab a peek that way, lovely, nifty, sexy poem, Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Hello Dazzy!

Thanks for a lovely comment - yes, it's interesting to note the different 'methods', from magnifying glasses and telescopes to furtive, head twisting maneouvres that would make 'Carrie' look unlimber!

Cheers

Kat :o)

RoyBateman on 11-01-2006
On New Years Day
Good heavens...a tribe of tossers? A melange of masturbators? Very amusing, even if it sounds horrifically embarrassing at the time. As someone once said, if God had intended us to walk round without clothes on, we'd all have been born naked...d'oh! I favour the "cover it up, there's a bus coming" approach personally. To do otherwise is somewhat distasteful and un-English somehow. So there.

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

I was reading you in bed last night! ;o) That's (another) great story of yours in Voices from the Web 2005! Thank you for popping in - always lovely to hear from you.

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 11-01-2006
On New Years Day
Kat, a wonderful piece, that gave me some strange visions of how to spend next New Year. Well written as always.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hehe...thank you for popping in with your thoughts and visions, Dargo...always lovely to hear from you!

Kat :o)


Are You Jamming? (posted on: 19-12-05)
To all you lovely UKA-ers ~Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy 2006~

He relaxed with the first rum punch already planning a banana daiquiri; it was Happy Hour after all. The pool bar welcomed the scurriers and no-one seemed to tire of the reggae beat. He hummed along to 'Satisfy My Soul' and thought how satisfied his soul was: city penthouse overlooking the river company car in range of thirty thou exotic holidays like this one. By week two, well-bronzed and rested he felt revitalised, ready to return sated by island beach life. Told the barman, I couldn't live here; work to do, people to see, endless list, the cards were stacked. The barman nodded slowly knowingly, deftly skewering cherry and orange slice. He knew where he'd rather be. *pulls open Christmas cracker and reads* How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? Wi' jam in! :o)
Archived comments for Are You Jamming?
Hazy on 19-12-2005
Are You Jamming?
Great, Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Spent a week in Jamaica over Christmas a couple of years ago so brought a smile to my face ๐Ÿ™‚ Very chilled! We could all learn a thing or two!

Some 'people' do like (/need?) to feel important and to fill their lives and houses/apartments (/homes?) with the nice things in life to show everyone else how fantastic they must be. It's hard to know when to stop when you start making pots of money... there's never quite enough...

Anyway, I'm waffling now. Enjoyed your poem and glad it made me think!

Hazy x

Author's Reply:
Hi oh Hazy one!

Loved your comment and thanks a lot for reading!

Kat x

niece on 20-12-2005
Are You Jamming?
Dear Kat,
No holiday destination for us this Christmas vacation...tried to book but we were too late...so this year it's Mumbai for us with it's wild revelry and merry-marking!!!:(
I am quite used to the simple life of town, but I don't know what it is about the city...people just cant have enough of it...never mind the high stress, the pollution, the traffic jams, the fast life...it must be addictive!!!
Good poem, btw!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hey, that all sounds pretty good to me, niece. Thank you very much for reading and commenting and I wish you and your family a super Christmas-time!

Kat :o)

Ginger on 21-12-2005
Are You Jamming?
Liked your piece - she says humming Bob Marley's Jamming quietly - I've never been, but I would love to one day. Maybe when I've got the ยฃ30,000 company car!
Lisa

Author's Reply:
:o) I know what you mean, Lisa. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Cheers

Kat

AlexClay on 21-12-2005
Are You Jamming?
i liked this poem, i's achingly cynical in my opinion, maybe i got it wrong, who cares. good stuff. I was thinking about jamaica today and how i would like to go there, so my plan for this looming year is to save enough money to take my mum there. This xmas i am going to sunny Poland. enjoy yours x and thanks for commenting on one of my pieces.

Author's Reply:
Hi Alex

Cheers for reading and commenting! This is a wee tongue-in-cheek piece inspired by a holiday I had in Barbados, many moons ago, and some people I met. I loved the Caribbean and hope to return one day - it's well worth saving up for. I hope you have a super time in Poland - we had a lovely holiday there last year visiting the area where hubby's gran was born, and Wroclaw was really stunning.

Thanks again!

Kat :o)


Petunia (posted on: 19-12-05)
~

Petunia saw the parrots. Scores of them. They were in flight and en route to their sleeping tree. It had been worth the wait, and the blue, fluted bottles of Riesling she'd bought and shared with the friendly, waltzing Germans. Attenborough's promise of a red-streaked twilight awash with squawking emeralds had come true. The husband, Percy. He had likely eloped with a Frไulein – perhaps the Lorelei herself!      Percy had abandoned Petunia the day before yesterday. He'd stated she'd become a lush since embarking on their tour of Rhine valley vineyards. The memory of his cruel words couldn't dilute her pleasure at seeing the brilliant birds in technicolour before her - a favourite maxim came to mind: some of us drink; some of us think. She raised her R๖mer to the sky: You're welcome to your fusty leather bounds!     Clutching the refilled wine glass, she nodded to Hans and Elfriede who were swirling around the dance floor. She meandered the short stretch to the river bank and followed the avian orchestra. She passed several plane-trees before arriving at the parrot boudoir with the tell-tale white splodges below. Aiming for one of the wooden benches she sat down and began to lick the stickiness from her hand. And suddenly, there was Percy. It was hideous. He was stuffed and stuck behind bars with yellow, green and red plumage leaping from his orifices like streamers. Attenborough's voice was breathing, Prettius Percius. She blinked three times before christening the parched earth with the amber fluid.
Archived comments for Petunia
freya on 19-12-2005
Petunia
Kat, this is bloody brilliant! Jasmin of Bagdad Cafe ( Marianne Sagebrecht) immediately came to mind for me. Her story. Her great AHA! ANOTHER favorite; will you STOP! Color me green. Affection, Shelagh xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Shelagh

What a great comment - thank you! I've just come out of editing it slightly, but only slightly...I will check out your reference and you have delighted me very much with your enthusiasm! :o) This wee thing came out of reading 'Flaubert's Parrot' by Julian Barnes and being asked to do a style exercise - thus my parroty parody!

Thank you for making it a fav!

Kat x

Sunken on 19-12-2005
Petunia
Kat, you are 'off it' in a good way.

s
u
n
k
e
n

now she's in purple, now she's a turtle

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunky

*chuckles*

Thanks for taking the time with this wee offering.

Kat :o)

admin on 19-12-2005
Petunia
Loved it.

And just look what you've done to the Google ads! They've picked up on 'parrots', so now we have :
About Parrots, Parrots Wanted, Parrots Care and, of course, the essential Teaching Parrots.

Priceless ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Oops...please see comment below - thank you!

Kat :o)

Kat on 19-12-2005
Petunia
Heavens! I can now see 'cheap parrots' and 'red parrots'...thank you very much for a great comment, Andrea Admin! I now feel that my writing career is flying in new directions... ;o)

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

tai on 19-12-2005
Petunia
She's a nutter guys!!! but of the very highest order of nutters!rofl Brilliant Kat! 10 from grinnning Tai

Author's Reply:
Hi Tai-ger

Hehe...I cannot disagree. ;o) Thank you for your top marks and comments!

Kat x

littleditty on 19-12-2005
Petunia
Dear Kat - parrots are one my favourite things, adolescent packs would entertain all day in Brasil - and, guess what? The Guardian newspaper (or was it the Independent?) gave a free Bagdad Cafe DVD a couple of weeks ago and i watched it a couple of days ago - they are right, it does remind, perhaps because she is the most memorable German woman one is ever likely to meet in film or fable - as is your Petunia. Great dotty write, i can send the DVD to you as i don't collect them and pass them on. Happy hols, wherever you are -where are you?! xxxnicky x

Author's Reply:
Hi Nicky

I love parrots too, and they have now become part of the natural fauna (after colonies of 'escapees' built up) here in the Rhine valley area where we stay (Wiesbaden, near Frankfurt). You always hear the squawkers before you see them and they are really fascinating when en route to their sleeping tree. They hoot and toot around many of the parks here and can be a bit distracting when trying to read a book!

Thank you for a great comment and I'd be delighted if you could send the DVD - thank you! I'll PM my address.

Kat x

shackleton on 19-12-2005
Petunia
A little bit special, kat. Enthralling piece!

Author's Reply:
Hi Mick

Cheers for a lovely comment!

Kat :o)

Claire on 20-12-2005
Petunia
Hey there hun,

This is a barmy one, can't stand parrots meself though. Enjoyed the read.

Author's Reply:
Hi Claire

Yeh, it's a bit bonkers I guess - thanks for reading and commenting!

Kat :o)

Slovitt on 21-12-2005
Petunia
Kat: Perhaps a comma after '...it had been worth the wait,'/.
Nothing much else to add except that your piece is rich, and entertaining. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep

Many thanks for casting your eye over this piece, and I may well insert that comma - thanks a lot for reading - very much appreciated!

Kat :o)

glennie on 26-12-2005
Petunia
Most unusual, kat, and very well written if I may say so.

Author's Reply:
Hi glennie

Thanks a lot for reading and commenting!

Cheers

Kat :o)


Reflex Sex (posted on: 16-12-05)
...just a thought, you understand. ;o)

I'm drooling at the mouth like Pavlov's dog, too much foreplay can be a switch off
Archived comments for Reflex Sex
Flash on 16-12-2005
Reflex Sex
Mrs Kitten Mitten

I told you that would happen if spanking got involved!:-0)


XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Flashypants

Author's Reply:
...I know Flashers...I should have listened...thank you for popping in with your wisdom!

Cheers

Kat x

Ginger on 16-12-2005
Reflex Sex
Kat,

I totally understand your thought, but only as that! ๐Ÿ™‚

Lisa

Author's Reply:
Hehe, thanks Lisa! I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat :o)

Sunken on 16-12-2005
Reflex Sex
Foreplay is a bad idea as far as I'm concerned young K of At fame. I already suffer with a premature affliction, so expecting me to put up with preliminary goings on is just asking far too much. It's not my fault I'm sensitive. Was that too much information I wonder? Nice little piece... again, too much information (-;

s
u
n
k
e
n

he tastes better with pepper

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunky

It's great to see you around again! I look forward to catching up with your piece later! ;o) Thanks for commenting, hot stuff!

Kat :o)

RoyBateman on 16-12-2005
Reflex Sex
Too much foreplay? Is it possible? Blimey...you're letting the side down! Of course, that's only what I've been told. It may not be true, especially in Australia....

Author's Reply:
Hi Roy

I like your reply! :o) Thanks for popping in.

Kat

Corin on 16-12-2005
Reflex Sex
Isn't that what tongues are for?

David

Author's Reply:
...Er...yes indeed!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Corin on 16-12-2005
Reflex Sex
There was meant to be a double meaning to this comment - but I think you only got the wet one!

David

Author's Reply:
Ah, I see...you'll have to be less sexplicit next time! ;o)

Kat

Lare on 16-12-2005
Reflex Sex
Hi Kat...sort of like eating too much candy before the main course meal...in any case this speaks of caution...and wisdom...nicely done...

Just me, Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare

Thank you kindly for commenting - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

niece on 17-12-2005
Reflex Sex
Kat,
The imagery and flow of words is excellent...!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you, niece! I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat :o)

Jolen on 20-12-2005
Reflex Sex
Hence the need for a good quickie now and again! lmao...

Great one Kat!

Happy Holidays,
JolenImage hosted by Photobucket.com


Author's Reply:
Hehe, yes indeed, Jolen. Cheers and thanks for commenting and very happy holidays to you too!

Kat :o)

woodbine on 24-12-2005
Reflex Sex
I do remember telling a certain partner soon after we met, "with you foreplay is the length of time it takes you to separate me from my trousers."
Nice Poem
John

Author's Reply:
Hi John

I like your comment, and thanks for reading - much appreciated. Happy Holidays!

Kat :o)


April 1964 (posted on: 12-12-05)
~

The black and white photo shows male and female teenagers with wide open hungry mouths - baby boomer birds hands wing-clawing diamond-holed fencing desperate to glimpse their heroes. Four mop-topped men descend avian stairs, clamping hair-dos huddling in dark, heavy coats against the prostrating Edinburgh wind. The gap between the idoliser and the idolised represents a synchronisation that acts magnetically because the same happens wherever they go. Hysteria? Mania? Yes, and yes and the blissful human release of relief.
Archived comments for April 1964
RoyBateman on 12-12-2005
April 1964
Nice imagery - gawping birds pressed to the fence. I remember it so well - though I never actually saw the Fab Four, I remember the all-night queues trailing right round the cinema for that tour. A neatly-executed snapshot that'll appeal to everyone who was there at the time!

Author's Reply:
Cheers, Roy...I enjoyed reading your comment - thanks!

Kat :o)

niece on 12-12-2005
April 1964
Kat,
You've described the whole scene so well. And tho' I don't think I've seen this picture, I can almost imagine what it looks like.
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much, niece! I really appreciate your comments.

Kat :o)

subluxed on 12-12-2005
April 1964
I enjoyed your work, and will continue to follow it.

Many Thanks.

Author's Reply:
Hi subluxed (great name!)

Thanks for commenting - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

tai on 13-12-2005
April 1964
Sounds like the Beates just hit town Kat? Very nice descriptive piece of memorabilia poetry. 10 if I could Tai

Author's Reply:
'ello me luvver!' *Kat attempts Devonshire accent*

Thanks for your comments, Tai. Yes, 'tis them indeed...I saw some great archived pics in the newspaper which were being shown because of the 25 years since John Lennon's death.

I love the one of them on Plymouth Hoe too!

Kat :o)

Ginger on 13-12-2005
April 1964
Great imagery, I know it's already been said, but I thought the lines about the 'baby boomer birds' were just bril.
Lisa

Author's Reply:
Hi Lisa

Thank you very much for commenting - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

walters on 16-12-2005
April 1964
RATING: 10

Kat, Sorry, I can't find the rating button. I don't get around much to read, but I'm glad I read your thoughts here, particularly,

The gap between the idoliser
and the idolised represents
a synchronisation that acts magnetically
because the same happens wherever they go

David

Author's Reply:
Hi David

I have the ratings button switched off...but thank you very much for awarding me some manually! I appreciate you stopping by to comment.

Kat :o)


Syncopation (posted on: 09-12-05)
~

The Brazilian baby waddled with a samba sway. Caramel skin aglow like amber as she scooped up sand with a coconut husk on Copacabana beach. She had mini-roll dreadlocks and sea-coloured eyes. Her heart-shaped gold locket (a present from proud parents) dangled and swung like a pendulum. Three years of saintly sun at Jesus' feet did not outshine her joy when powdered snow melted on her palms, for the first time. There was nothing cuter than the Brazilian toddler's tentative ski-steps in her pink salopettes. Zigzagging a duple like it was Carnival - carving a niche-love for earthly elements. The only breakage is her mum and dad's heart when they remember Rio, Argentina – ecstatic times - before the ecstasy, before cocaine, the smack of heroin, the overdose, her death in an avalanche of vomit.
Archived comments for Syncopation
Jen_Christabel on 09-12-2005
Syncopation
Powerful Kim! I thought the initial lines were lovely and then I was hit between the eyes - ouch!
Good write
Jen :o)

Author's Reply:
Cheers for reading and commenting, Jen! Much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Bradene on 09-12-2005
Syncopation
This is so sharp! it's point rips through the toughest heart Kat. This is truly a great piece. Val hurting. xx I rate it tops if I could!

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Thank you very much, young lady! I really appreciate you reading and commenting, Val.

Kat x

niece on 10-12-2005
Syncopation
Kat, after the initial rosy picture you painted with your words, the ending was shocking indeed ... excellent poem!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

Thank you very much for reading and commenting - much appreciated!

Kat :o)


Winter (posted on: 26-11-05)


Dead as my foot is after amputation, I cannot even hope
Archived comments for Winter
Bradene on 27-11-2005
Winter
Wow! Kat I'm just getting over feeling like that! I was even hearing the bell tolling!! Lol Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Oh, I hope not, dear Val! Thank you for commenting...I'm wondering why this has been posted already? I had this wee one in store for Mon - not to worry...Cheers, Val!

Kat x

Lare on 27-11-2005
Winter
Whoa, Kat...this packs of 'the bottom dropping out' so quickly in finality...in other words...wow...well done...I felt this right down to my feet...so to speak...

Just me, Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare

Thank you very much for taking the time with this.

Cheers

Kat :O)

AnthonyEvans on 28-11-2005
Winter
OUCH! i felt that one, kat. if it wasn't so gruesome, i'd say schweet. best wishes, anthony.

Author's Reply:
Cheers for hot-footing it in to leave a comment, Anthony!

Kat ;o)

eddiesolo on 17-01-2006
Winter
Hi Kat,

This is great!

You commented on my piece Vista about spring and then I spotted this on winter.

Do you find writing Haiku hard? I found it confusing but then I'm used to free form fancy worded poetry...well I think I can write that lol.

Well done I enjoyed reading it very much.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Si

How nice of you to drop by! Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment - I'm sure I've got a 'Spring' here too somewhere...

I think haiku can be really effective and satisfying, but it's all about finding the 'right' words, especially when you have the limitations this form dictates, so the free form haiku do appeal as well. I think I tend to wait until one falls into my lap out of the orchard! ;o)

Thanks again!

Kat :o)


The Centaur, Kieran and Me (posted on: 25-11-05)
***

The centaur would watch over us as we played hopscotch. The clang of the peever seemed to hypnotise him. I was never sure if Kieran could see him too, so I kept quiet and tried to read his face for signs.      Kieran was two years younger and in my brother's class at school. He had a weak heart which meant he usually watched as the boys did their rough-and-tumble in the playground. When he chatted to me, I'd notice the faint blue tinge to his lips but I focused on his huge caramel eyes which bounced behind his glasses. His glance would alight on mine like a butterfly on a wheat stalk.      'How's your heart today?' I would ask.      'It's good. I just get a bit tired sometimes.'      'Do you like hopscotch?'      'I don't know - I've never tried. Isn't it for girls?'      'Eh, I never thought about that before… but it's fun. Come on!'      Kieran wasn't very good but he laughed a lot and that made me feel light like a dandelion clock. He would blow on the peever for luck and toss it across the chalk squares on our front path. We had a big, fat garden with an expanse of grass, shrubbery and shy-looking cherubs. The clatter of the Kiwi polish lid clashed with the musicality of the wind chimes which would jangle in the breeze.      I'd first spotted the centaur to the right of Kieran's shoulder the day he told me he had to go into hospital. For a sun-packed fortnight, we'd played hopscotch every day after school. He was my first boy, as a friend. I knew a bit about hearts and I thought it was amazing Kieran could joke and giggle when his was chugging along. His lips appeared bluer when the centaur was around, or maybe that was because its glossy coat was a dazzling white. It made me think of glittering snow and snowdrops. Kieran's lips became bluebells to me.      The day before Kieran was to be admitted to hospital, we had our last game. The centaur was sitting on his muscular haunches at the side of the path. He didn't look out of place with the concrete fauns that danced around the fountain on the lawn. The bright yellow weather made me feel free, though I was sad about Kieran. He blew on the peever and tapped it three times, for extra luck, he said. It landed splat on eight and he hopped off like a sparrow. The centaur leaned his elbows on his lap and cupped his chin in his hands. He smiled and winked at me. That did it! I had to know.      'Kieran,' I said. 'Can you see the centaur too?'      'Of course!' he puffed. 'His name is Kiron. At night we have adventures. We've been around the world together: he's taken me to Asia where I've breathed in spices and tasted the rainbow of sweet and sour; to Australia where I've felt the scorching, dusty heat of the outback; to America where I've seen canyons like the mouths of giants; to Africa where we've galloped with zebras and stampeded with elephants; then back home to Europe where I've soared to hear the caw of alpine crows and played hopscotch with you.'      That night I lay in bed and thought of Kieran and Kiron. Perhaps they were on safari again or sailing around the Cape of Good Hope. Kieran and Kiron – how similar? No…the same!      My eyelids flickered towards sleep and dreams of flight. Was that Pegasus? Or a man/horse hybrid with a winged boy on his back. On their way to heaven.     
Archived comments for The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Apolloneia on 25-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Lovely story Kat! Nic x.

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic

Thank you very much for commenting - I'm really chuffed!

Kat x

Claire on 25-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Speechless. *wipes away tear*

Author's Reply:
Hi lovely Claire



Thank you for reading and commenting - really appreciated.



Kat x

Thanks also for the 'hottie'! *blows kiss*

littleditty on 25-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Yes -lovely and speechless and *wipes away tear * too - i....... favourite -for later, will read again xxxx really good, Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thank you, littleditty! I really appreciate your comments.



Kat x

Thanks very much for making this a fav! *gives littleditty a bearess hug*

niece on 25-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Dear Kat
Such a beautiful piece! One could hear the innocence in the voice of the narrator, Kat! Lovely!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

It's lovely to hear from you, and thanks for commenting!

Kat :o)

freya on 27-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Kat this is just wonderful, and so beautifully accomplished in its appeal to the adult re-experiencing a long forgotten childhood of magical thinking, trust and innocence. There's some awesomely fresh and wondrously childlike imagery in your description of Kieran:
his huge caramel eyes...would alight on mine like a butterfly on a wheat stalk...his laughter... that made me feel light like a dandelion clock...
and the centaur: its glossy coat was a dazzling white. It made me think of glittering snow and snowdrops. Kieranโ€™s lips became bluebells to me.

I just loved the clatter of your kiwi polish tin lid, the hopeful, protective and repetitive rituals of the your young protagonists, too. And what a superb opening sentence. Right into the moment and the action, along with a brilliant close. Even more important is the gently posed, yet provocative question concerning the delicacy, beauty and fragility of life. What a masterful write Kat, and a favorite for me. Shelagh xx



Author's Reply:
Hi Shelagh

What a super surprise to pop in here and see so many lovely responses to this story, not least, yours! :o) Thank you very much for your super comments and for making this a fav - I'm very pleased about that. Your appraisal, as one of my favourite authors here, means a lot.

Kat x

Flash on 27-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Yes, spellbinding quality Mrs Kitten.

Truly fab piece littered with beautiful poetic flourishes and metaphor, that stand out usually in your poetry.

Super story. Again so few words and another example of top class flash fiction.

xxx
Flashy



Author's Reply:
Thank you, Flash! I really appreciate you reading and commenting - I've said it before and I'll say it again...I think you're a very astute reader! ;o) Not just saying that because you've been nice to me here, of course!

Kat x *gives Flash a huge kiss, or three*

Slovitt on 27-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Kat: Your beautiful story has everything, being delicately written, and original, and touched by magic particularly at the end. Very fine. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hello Swep

I really value your comments and thank you very much for taking the time to make them, and for making this a fav.

Kat *beginning to grin stupidly*

sirat on 27-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Congratulations on the nomination and all the enthusiastic feedback this one has received. I found it highly atmospheric: the big garden with the expanse of grass, the "shy-looking cherubs" and "the concrete fauns that danced around the fountain on the lawn", suggests the memory of a fabulously wealthy and privileged childhood, or could it be a fantasy version of a childhood that was entirely different? This feeling of an adult recounting a distant memory and embellishing it is reinforced by the voice that is given to the dying boy: children don't speak like that, what we are hearing is the child's speech reconstructed by a sophisticated adult with a gift for a poetic turn of phrase. Even the similarity of the names, Kieran and Kiron seems a very adult conception, something a child would have commented upon at the very least. This feels like an unreliable version of a childhood fantasy, recounted (perhaps) in old age. A tale told to the grandchildren, repeated many times, until what remains is the essence and the symbolism in a very distilled form. The descriptions, as others have pointed out, are particularly fresh and vivid. The story has enormous charm and the acclaim it has received is fully justified.

Author's Reply:
Hi sirat

Thank you for taking the time to read and to comment and I thank you for the many positive things you have said. To your quibbles, which have a validity:

the reason for the garden description isn't as black and white as you suggest - the narrator was keen to bring in such features as it linked with the imagery and atmosphere that was trying to be evoked. However, I believe such could be set up for a reasonable price from Asda for even a 'modest income' household; ;o)

The connection with Kieran/Kiron would be easy for a child who had been taught some Greek mythology, as used to be the way when I was at primary school - the narrator was keen to give 'Chiron' (the wise and kindly centaur) a role in the story;

I then would go along with Tai-Li's comments about the sophistication of children and the things they would say, or wouldn't say.

In all fairness, you are right that the narrator is looking back and recounting a distant memory, thus there is the merging of remembrance tinged with the adult's reconstruction. I hadn't thought that this came across 'unreliably' though...the narrator is a most sincere and trustworthy person, and I don't think that their 'age' would have much to do with that.

Thanks again for your comments, sirat!

Kat :o)




admin on 27-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Oh, thats marvellous - a great piece of writing, Kat.

Author's Reply:
Thank you lovely, admin!

Kat :o)

pencilcase on 28-11-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Kat,

Just read this hugely enjoyable, creative and charming/enigmatic piece. Well worthy of the nomination.

Great stuff,

Steve

Author's Reply:
Hi Steve

Thanks very much for your comments!

Cheers

Kat :o)

CVaughan on 10-12-2005
The Centaur, Kieran and Me
Please accept belated applaud on this excellent piece of sophisticated writing. Just happened on it by chance. CV (Frank)

Author's Reply:
Hi Frank

Thank you very much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts - much appreciated.

Kat :o)


Greed (posted on: 18-11-05)
~~~

It's rumbling there's a hunger that keeps me in pyjamas as I write, type, print off the non-stop reams of dreams, desires, wishes need to translate good to make it cool like a modest genius. Tea, juice, hot chocolate fuel the furnace stoke the cauldron which I stir with a pointy stick and lick my lips at the thought I may one day, in this life get stuffed.
Archived comments for Greed
Abel on 18-11-2005
Greed
Wonderful, playful...but with an underlying seriousness I feel...really enjoyed this one, Kat!

Ward

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Ward! Cheers for reading and commenting.

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 19-11-2005
Greed
Kat, enjoyed the way this one tripped along. Loved the line breaks.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

Many thanks - your comments are much appreciated!

Kat :o)

littleditty on 20-11-2005
Greed
As Abel and Dargo said -and i enjoyed this one, get stuffed! Funny expression - funny thoughtful poem xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Cheers, littleditty! Thank you for reading and commenting.

Kat x

shackleton on 23-11-2005
Greed
Weird one, kat. I'm still cogitating that ending. I do realise that 'get stuffed' can have many different meanings in this contemporary, poetic world of ours.

You've got me wondering...

I do enjoy your work, Kat. You always get me wondering. Take care now.

Mickle in a pickle


Author's Reply:
Thanks a lot for giving this one a cogitation, shacks! That last line is just a reference to 'becoming full' and feeling sated, and the poem itself is meant to show the eagerness/drive of someone that wants something badly. Hope that makes sense.

Thanks again for taking the time with this.

Kat :o)

MLAllen on 05-12-2005
Greed
Very nice, Kat. You express a hunger many of us share. ML

Author's Reply:
Hi there

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Lare on 09-12-2005
Greed
Hi Kat...thank you for reminding all of us to keep it all in perspective...you hit right on it...it's that just above our reach dream that keeps us going at it...well done, Kat...well done...

Just me, Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare

Many thanks for popping in with your uplifting words!

Cheers

Kat :o)


Estelle (posted on: 11-11-05)
Giving birth can have its ups and downs...

When Estelle smiled it was like a glass engraving. That should have been the neon. I had never seen her delicate features so luminescent before, so unnatural, though it appeared natural at the time.      Amy flumed into the world - a bleating bundle with strawberry blond hair and dark blue eyes. Estelle's husband fussed around – bringing her strong, sweet tea and rubbing her back. One year married and they shone like light bulbs.      Estelle was nineteen and had been daft about Damian since her fourth year of high school. Their engagement didn't surprise us and we could only envelop them with hugs and chant our congratulations.              I guess we had spoiled Estelle. We bought her a silver Mini Cooper when she passed her A-levels - which she parked in the garage of the mews flat we gave her and Damian as a wedding present. We wanted to show how much we cared.      Her dad and I didn't expect the axe swing. We were still suntanned from our holiday in Cancun - dipping our toes back in to routine, with salsa here, flamenco there and church on Sundays.          Two weeks after the birth of our first granddaughter we slanted into each other like squint gravestones. Our family doctor flourished his signature on the document committing Estelle to hospital. We went with her - two zombies book-ending a giggling diva, while Damian looked after Amy. Estelle was diagnosed with puerperal psychosis. She was high - she'd been darting around doing odd things - trying to microwave her bank cards and she thought Damian was poisoning her. A neighbour had discovered Estelle sitting outside their flat in the Mini, singing soprano-style, with nothing on but her nursing bra. Little Amy was sleeping in her car seat. Four weeks later we sat at Estelle's case conference. She wasn't getting better. She was hard and shiny like a skyscraper and whooping up bedlam in the ward. The staff and patients were fond of her - the resident clown. She cheered them up with her hyperactivity, silly jokes and permanent grin. She bossed the nurses around, telling them to clean her salon aka 'Fingertips Massage Parlour'. She phoned out for pizza and then was too busy to eat and would give it away to the others – and the plants and the goldfish.      Medicine hadn't helped. ECT was mentioned. A Damian blur grabbed the consultant by his lapels and stapled him to the wall – a pair of grappling suits, and there was Estelle waving in at us from the corridor.      I drove home that afternoon like three monkeys rolled into one. I didn't see the red light, or I didn't understand it, and my scream was silent. Amy starts school after the summer. A granddaughter to be proud of with beautiful long hair and freckles dotted across her nose. Estelle recovered rapidly after the ECT – coming out of her fugue like an elusive alpine flower. It's as if it all never happened.      My husband pushes me down the aisle after the church service - I place my money in the collection plate, then brace myself for the ramp and the cold air.          
Archived comments for Estelle
Jen_Christabel on 11-11-2005
Estelle
What an incredibly moving piece. Beautifully written.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Thank you, dear Jennifer! I look forward to catching up with the latest subs over the weekend - have a good one!

Kat :o)

Griffonner on 13-11-2005
Estelle
Very nicely done, Kat. I think there might be a typo in the second sentence, as it didn't quite read right for me. But it didn't spoil the enjoyment.

Author's Reply:
I really appreciate you reading, Griffoner - thank you very much. Re the 2nd sentence, I was trying to be a wee bit experimental by saying just 'neon' as opposed to 'neon sign' or simply 'sign', but this might well read too obscurely. Thanks again!

Kat :o)

jay12 on 13-11-2005
Estelle
A nice bit of flash fiction Kat. I enjoyed it. You deal with the theme well.

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Cheers, Jay! Thanks a lot for giving it your time - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

Slovitt on 14-11-2005
Estelle
Kat: There's a restraint here that I like, a softness and a strength, a tone that rings true. Begins well, concludes memorably. Finely written. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep

I very much appreciate your comments - thank you!

Kat *big smile*

Kazzmoss on 14-11-2005
Estelle
Hi Kat, How sad. Post natel depression in its extreme form here. Its a terrible thing, I didn't suffer from it at all but was acutly aware of it. Very nicely written with an undertone of sadness. - Kazz

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Kazz! Cheers for dropping in for a read - much appreciated.

Kat :o)

niece on 14-11-2005
Estelle
Dear Kat,
Liked the use of simple language and style to tell such a sad and (actually) complex story!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Dear niece

I appreciate your comments very much indeed - thank you!

Kat :o)

ClareHill on 14-11-2005
Estelle
I loved this, especially the use of language such as "two zombies book-ending a giggling diva" the unusual descriptions mirror the confusion of psychosis. Very moving and an insightful look at the condition.

Author's Reply:
Hi Clare

Many thanks for commenting and your thoughts are very much appreciated.

Cheers

Kat :o)

karenuk on 15-11-2005
Estelle
Beautifully written. You hit the perfect tone throughout.
Karen x

Author's Reply:
Hi Karen

Thank you very much for reading and commenting!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Flash on 16-11-2005
Estelle
Superb Kitten, you are a clever puss and no mistake.

The ending is good, but the thing i loved about this little gem was the perfection of the narrators voice, that really drew me into the piece and made it compelling. The voice was perfect IMO.

And so much in 606 words, not really a word wasted from what i can see.

Well done honey pie...is it ok to call you honey pie, you did say you loved me last time i commented? ;-0)

Seriously, really glad i read that piece.

xxx
Flashy

Author's Reply:
Hi Flashers

I really appreciate you reading and commenting so enthusiastically on this piece, and honey pie is fine with me! ;o) This was something from a couple of years ago which I (hopefully) brought to life in my Mrs Frankenstein editing machine. ;o) The feedback from folks here is so heartening as I really wasn't sure about this, so thanks to you again and everybody else!

Kat *gives Flash a big smacker*

Dargo77 on 17-11-2005
Estelle
Kat, wonderful piece of writing. The story seemed much longer than 600 words; maybe because you packed so much in. What a great ending.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

I really appreciate you giving this your time and commenting - huge thanks!

Kat :o)

glennie on 18-11-2005
Estelle
Hi Kat, I thought the same about the second sentence, had me scratching my head. I thought this was a VERY clever story and began to think it was faction. I do admire your writing and your ingenious use of simile and metaphore but maybe there was a bit too many of them that detracted me a wee bit from the underlying story. However, as I said, ingenious and I meant it! Glen.

Author's Reply:
Hi Glen

Thank you for a very kind comment! I do agree that it's not good to go OTT with the similes etc and not to be too obscure with word choices either and I will definitely take care not to do so in future pieces. Thank you again!

Kat :o)


The Suicide Note (posted on: 04-11-05)
~~~

Veined like a piece of anatomy her life lives in calligraphic words that merge to light-bulb her death. A steadfast hand has inked stark sentences which howl like a mongrel dog and bark a determination to extermination. He has bibled the unspoken religiously learnt the tortured existence she couldn't transcend like he does now as the sun shines and the rain drops and daysmorph-intodecades. His face atrophies, displays a bleak veneer a frugal centrifuge where his lips veer towards the speed of light g-forcing an elegy for her, for him, for them.
Archived comments for The Suicide Note
Bradene on 05-11-2005
The Suicide Note
A very effective piece Kat. I love the way you seem to have extended the words, extending the moments and somehow the agony. Very well done IMO Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hello lovely Val

Thank you very much for popping in and for your comments which are much appreciated. Have a great weekend!

Kat x

Claire on 06-11-2005
The Suicide Note
Hey there hun,

Love that first stanza, it's very powerful. Very canny poem too... tis always for them ain't it... ;^)

Author's Reply:
Thanks, Claire! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 06-11-2005
The Suicide Note
Kat, this is so well put together. I really appreciate the layout on this very good poem.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

Thanks for your comments which I really appreciate!

Kat :o)


Where's Normal Gone? (posted on: 04-11-05)
If only I don't bend and break/I'll meet you on the other side/I'll meet you in the light/If only I don't suffocate/I'll meet you in the morning when you wake (lyrics from Keane) edited with thanks to commenters!

Normal day, I thought: my dad called me three times for breakfast; my big sister took too long in the bathroom and my mum dropped cigarette ash into the porridge as she stood over the pot with a More menthol crooked in her bottom lip. Her peach dressing gown was tied loosely around her waist, and I noticed she'd put on weight since she'd been away.      'That'll put hairs on your chest!' she said as she placed a bowl of her lumpy/grey speciality before me – it looked like the moon's surface. But God, I loved my mum and I didn't care about the unappetising food. She'd only been back home with us for a fortnight. The seasons had battered and shone on our red Beetle as we'd ferried back and forth to visit mum.      I was worried though. I walked home from school with my mates and I didn't feel a part of things. I caught snippets about the Man United game and Scott, my best mate, had apparently managed to get a date with Cindy Cochrane – at last! I was worried because I was finding it harder to concentrate. My standard-grades had gone well – better than I'd expected, but lately I'd been feeling anxious, like when you know you haven't swotted enough for an exam.      'See you later, Kev, and wish me luck with Cindy!' Scott was beaming as he turned right into Laidlaw Avenue. I sent a lame smile in his direction and tried to join in the footie talk with Jimmy and Jeff before they nipped up Coffin Lane for a sly ciggie.      I huddled into my Parka and strode out along Laidlaw Street. I'd soon be passing 'Bloomers' the florist shop again – last night a woman hoovered the floor with a python. Was it the one discovered in the sewer system? I saw footage of it on the news – its head was the size of my hand. Some guy had found it in his bathroom. It terrorised residents for months, popping its head up through the loo like a Jack-in-the-box.          'Is that you, Kev?' Mum was still in her dressing gown.      'Hi mum! Have you had a nice day?' I was in the bath when it happened. Keane had been on the portable Sony radio and DJ Vee-jay was running through their gigs. I swear - I got the fright of my life. Something flicked through the gap between the toilet seat and the lid…well, that was enough for me…I knew that wasn't right. How did it get from 'Bloomers' to our house?      Dad was putting the kettle on when I went down to the kitchen for supper. His face was brown and healthy-looking from working outside, but I noticed furrows at the edge of his eyes for the first time – or had they always been there? They were shaped like the v-shaped tongue of the snake and he looked at me through narrowed slits.      I took my cheese-on-toast and hot chocolate through to the sitting room. Mum was staring at Big Brother and blowing smoke rings.      'You alright, Kev? You can turn over to the sport if you want.'      'I'm fine with that, mum. I'll just eat this then head up for a read.' Dad came in just then with two mugs of cocoa on a tray and I noticed that the belt on mum's dressing gown had reptilian scales. I felt sick. I was breathing fast. Katie's telly murmured from her room. Should I tell her? She didn't like snakes either though. I reached for my MP3 player and switched it to random. My bed was autumn leaves. Dad popped his head round the door to say goodnight and pointed to my alarm clock reminding me to set it for the morning. I could hear hissing, like interference. I froze. Dared myself to look under the bed. A few twigs slithered with forked tongues. Red lines broadcast the time – 4 am and I'm sweating though I've only got my boxers on. I need the toilet but I'm scared to go. I think of mum at the hospital – her screams sounded painful. I want to be normal. Is it because I wank too much? The carpet is grass and I don't trust it. I piss out of my bedroom window and it's freezing – I hope the goldfish don't mind.     It's 6.20am and I'm terrified. I'm wrapped in sheets like I'm going to a toga party - which means that I'm in Rome and when in Rome…I can hear it…the leaves are rustling. I want to shout out but I don't want to upset mum, but what if the serpent has got her? I knock on the wall to Katie. It's not a wall it's a hedge so I walk through it.      'Kev! Kev!' Katie looks awful – all mascara-eyed and fangs. I've woken the whole jungle and here comes Tarzan and Jane and I'm not Cheeta.      'I'm not Cheeta!' I'm crying blood and I'm naked apart from one of the dried leaves that I've strategically placed, or it could be a sock. I'm lying in bed and mum's smoking a More menthol and clutching my hand. The doctor wants to know how I'm doing and I know if I admit the fear he'll send me to the place where they make you shuffle and drool and I'm no fool - I rule. And I made mum sick and I'm sick and it's because her middle name is Eve, borne in the garden of Eden with no snake because it escaped. And I'm trapped and I've snapped and I feel like CRAP!      'I love you mum, I love you mum…' I mumble like a drum and I suck my thumb but I'm sixteen. Maybe I've become allergic to fag ash.      Where's normal gone? Six months later I'm weaned off the anti-psychotics. My CPN (community psychiatric nurse) Paula, was brilliant and helped me a lot. I was lucky to have missed only a few weeks of school. The best news is that my mum is cool again. She rallied when I became ill – like someone popped her bubble wrap and the world flooded back in.      I'd forgotten what she looked like in ordinary clothes. She's stopped smoking and started helping out at the young people's unit where I'd initially been assessed. She's assisting with art classes, which is just as well because cookery had been the other option.      I'm unnerved at times and embarrassed when I think about my family seeing me with just a sock on my dick. But I'll get over that. I've met people who've done daft things too: Sara from the support group cut all the heads off her dad's roses, then made her way down their street brandishing the secateurs like an over-zealous gardener, snipping any flower that swayed; Grant dyed his gran's white poodle black and claimed it was the poodle's idea; and Dana tried to hit on her headmaster at the end of term disco.      I know I'm not alone and it's great to see mum smile. It's been like shaking off an old snakeskin.     
Archived comments for Where's Normal Gone?
Jen_Christabel on 04-11-2005
It Seemed Like a Normal Day
Very weird - but well-written, of course! I must checks my tabs, make sure I aint on anything too strong! LOL LOL.
Thanks for the read Kat.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
:o) Cheers, Jennifer - thanks for reading and commenting.

Kat x

niece on 05-11-2005
It Seemed Like a Normal Day
Dear Kat,
Very unusual and visual piece of writing! The dream sequence seemed so real...all dis-jointed and wierd as they normally are.
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Cheers, niece - thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment!

Kat :o)

Flash on 05-11-2005
It Seemed Like a Normal Day
Excellent...you've been sitting too near Claire Bear though, oh kitteny one.

Very unusual, i think this is the piece of prose by you , that has kept my attention hooked the most so far.

Certainly worth more attention and comments m8.

xxx
Flashy

Author's Reply:
Flash, it is official...I love you!

Thank you for such a nice comment. It's one of those pieces that I felt quite sure of myself but you never know how it's going to come across to others.

Kat :o) *gives Flash a big bear hug*

glennie on 06-11-2005
It Seemed Like a Normal Day
Very surreal. Quality writing Kat and very original. I think forked tongue would be better as you repeated 'shaped' and masturbate urine and penis should be replaced by wank piss and dick as this is how a 16 y-o boy would talk. Bit picky I know but I think it would improve the story. Glen.

Author's Reply:
Cheers, Glen! I'll take a look at all of those very valid points you made about diction and edit accordingly - much appreciated and thanks for reading.

Kat :o)

Dargo77 on 13-11-2005
Where
Kat, really enjoyed your story. Well written.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

Delighted you've dropped in and depositied a comment! Much appreciated.

Kat :o)

littleditty on 13-11-2005
Where
Kat - Excellent - really well done - really! xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much for reading and commenting lovely little ditty!

Cheers

Kat x

expat on 20-11-2005
Where
Nice piece of writing, Kat!

I agree with Glen about the terminology. A couple of small points: 'placed a bowl of her lumpy/grey speciality before me' seemed a little stiff. I don't know if 'in front of me.' might read better. 'Narrowed slits', referring to his father's eyes, seemed to be repetition and perhaps CPN is unnecessary, re the community psychiatric nurse.

Piddly points that don't detract from a good read.

:^) Steve.


Author's Reply:
Hi Steve

Please see comments below.

Cheers

Kat :o)

Kat on 20-11-2005
Where
Cheers, Steve! I really appreciate you reading and commenting and your points are all valid and much appreciated. I had written this for something in particular and have now sent it off as is.

Thanks again!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

wfgray on 01-04-2006
Wheres Normal Gone?
Weird,weird, weird. It took some reading.

Author's Reply:
Oh dear, is that bad? It is definitely a bit weird but I hope the mud cleared a wee bit. Thanks very much for giving it your time.

Kat :o)


Turnip Head (posted on: 31-10-05)
~~~

We decapitate then disembowel with spoons until our arms ache. I love the crunchy taste of pale orange flesh. My brother wrinkles his nose and I cackle as I scoop, sculpting an ever shrinking head. Surgically excising eyes, teeth - the effect – jagged, spectre-like, perfect. Skewering symmetrically through skull I thread sinuous string and burrow to scalp. My turnip lantern flickers on the Formica – I sweep up, warts and all, call my cat – consider eating meat again...
Archived comments for Turnip Head
barenib on 31-10-2005
Turnip Head
Kat - a very worthy contribution to this Hallowe'en! John.

Author's Reply:
Hi John

You're very kind - thanks!

Kat :o)

Apolloneia on 01-11-2005
Turnip Head
Hi Kat,
Lovely and well written! The ending just perfect ๐Ÿ˜‰
Nicx ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic

Thank you very much - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

niece on 01-11-2005
Turnip Head
Liked the description of the brother-sister duo at work on ...is it a pumpkin?...the flow of words was just amazing-typical of your style, Kat!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

That's a very kind comment - thank you! It was really a turnip in the style of a 70's Scottish childhood - I didn't know what a pumpkin was then. Thanks again.

Kat :o)

Emerald on 01-11-2005
Turnip Head
Glad you used the traditional turnip in this a not the more modern day pumpkin. Very effective hallowe'en poem

Emma:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Emma

Lovely to see you again, and thank you for your comment.

Kat :o)

Griffonner on 01-11-2005
Turnip Head
I loved this, Kat. It reminded me of the same sensation (that came to mind with your last line) only in my case it was cornflour, and attempts with my cousin at making ice-cream. LOL. I fear you have prevented me showing the scale of my appreciation for your words by numerical means. Shame.

Author's Reply:
Oh, I'm sorry I've prevented you numerically, Griffoner...but I appreciate you popping in to share your comments which I'm very happy about. Thanks!

Kat :o)

Leila on 01-11-2005
Turnip Head
Kat I like your poem, you pull it all together well, the strong language of decapitate, disembowel, cackle, excising, jagged etc and then the lovely.. my brothers wrinkles his nose. Nicely done...L

Author's Reply:
Thank you dear Leila - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

Flash on 01-11-2005
Turnip Head
Naturally when i saw the title, i thought you were writing about me again without my permission Kitten. :-0(


How relieved i was to find out it was actually about an unedible vegtable...that i was never the less force to eat as child, both with the main meal and in a revolting liquid soup concoction called broth. :-0(

So your poem brought back the days of under cooked braised beef and over boiled revolting drenched vegtables...and other disgusting scottish meals!! So many .....ahem.......fond memories came flooding back. :-0(

Excuse me while i go and be sick.

xxx
Flashyinseasicklygreenpants. :-0(

Author's Reply:
Heavens Flashers...are you a man or a moose?

Kat ;o)

islathorne on 02-11-2005
Turnip Head
I thought this was really quite original as a halloween poem, and I enjoyed reading it.

isla

Author's Reply:
Hello Isla

Thank you very much indeed!

Kat :o)

Bradene on 02-11-2005
Turnip Head
Great Halloween Poem Kat. nicely done. love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val

Thank you very much - much appreciated!

Kat x

Dargo77 on 03-11-2005
Turnip Head
Kat, enjoyed your poem.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

Many thanks - much appreciated!

Kat :o)

littleditty on 04-11-2005
Turnip Head
Hey Kat - turnips? Was that before the Americans invaded? Really? A turnip? Why? And How - trying to imagine a turnip lantern and realise that it really would be an operation to make one - and to write about it as well as this -well - operation successful, very. Enjoyed, thanks Kat xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
You make me smile, weeditty! :o)

We seemed to have a lot of turnips in Scotland when we were growing up, and yes, trying to make a lantern with something that small did take the manual dexterity of a surgeon!

Thank you for dropping in - great comment!

Kat x

MLAllen on 06-12-2005
Turnip Head
Thanks for an enlightening experience, Kat. I have long wondered how one would make a turnip lantern. Now I have a better understanding. Sort of. Maybe I'll try this next Halloween. Very nice. ML (The "cackle" was a brilliant stroke.)

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much! I appreciate your comments.

Kat :o)


Men, huh? (posted on: 21-10-05)
Mavis and Maude reminisce about the days when they were heterosexual...Are they the only lesbians in the WRVS?

Mavis loved her weekly coffee mornings with Maude. They'd become bosom buddies (literally) though they hadn't slept together for about ten years now – each having met the woman of their dreams. They thoroughly enjoyed lounging in their monogamy, and when they got together they would often hark back to 'hairier' days.      'I'll never forget when my ex-husband went shopping by himself for the first time,' Maude announced before plunging into a chocolate ้clair. Mavis waited politely for Maude to finish her mouthful and lick the cream from her fingers.      'He was annoyed that I couldn't come with him – I think I had to take my mother to the vets or something, and out of spite he bought the worst pair of trousers in town!'      'They can be very spiteful, Maude,' said Mavis as she cut her jam doughnut in half and welded it back together with clotted cream.      'He wasn't the tallest of men, Mavis, and he came home with these denim bell-bottoms and they were…,' Maude swivelled her head to see if anyone could overhear, then whispered, '…from C&A! They made him look like Babar the Elephant!'      'Eew!' Mavis' face scrunched up as she dropped two sugar lumps into the froth.      'Stubborn. Obstinate. That was my Henry. He hated me reading in bed at night - but would he wear the frilly-edged, heart-patterned night-night mask I'd bought him? Of course not! Said it made him feel like he was part of a teenage sleepover.'      'That wouldn't worry most men, Mavis.'      'Exactly, Maude! There was always something atypical about my Henry.' Maude dabbed her mouth with a napkin and drained her cup before continuing,      'There was the time, just before we were married - we went with some friends for a nice bottle of sun-downer wine. You know the type of thing – hillock, tartan blanket, meant to be summer.' Maude beckoned the waitress for a couple more coffees,          'He had a psychosomatic attack of hay fever – brought on purely at will! He was determined he didn't want to go up that hill and enjoy himself – he moaned the whole way in between sneezes and once we got there, he knocked the wine over and I was sitting down-slope from him – that man!' Mavis nodded sympathetically,      'I can still see Henry's face the night I told him I was leaving,' she confided as the waitress brought two overflowing cups.      'What was it you told him again, Mavis?' Maude's green eyes looked like huge peridots.      'I thanked him for an interesting marriage but said that I needed to find someone to stimulate me intellectually. I told him that I'd thought long and hard and that I'd come to the conclusion that being-a-lesbian-was-an-intelligent-choice. He spluttered Horlicks down his Aran cardigan, and all I could think was how happy I was not to have to soak it in Fairy Snow - ever again. I felt empty but free as I hung my stripy apron on the back of the kitchen door. I left half an hour later, just before the nine o' clock news. But that's enough about me, Maude. How's Doris, and are you running the white elephant stall at the summer fete?'      'Yes, Mavis. But don't get me started on Babar again!'
Archived comments for Men, huh?
Flash on 21-10-2005
Men, huh?
Kitten?

Are Lesbians like Thespians? See i don't kow these things being very shy,cute,naive and innocent. But Mavis and Maude seemed to be very lovey darling types to me...a bit Mapp and lucia...Hinge and Brackett...erm ....Cagney and Lacey...French and Saunders?

Anyway i must say i couldn't imagine anyone like Mavis marrying someone who drank cans of Special Brew, for someone like Mavis that would be grounds for instant divorce.

What was the time setting for the piece? i got the feeling of it being set sometime ago at times 50's or the 60's perhaps, and others it felt much more recent?

Amusing read anyway.

Were they intimate Thespians?

xxx
Flashytalkingcompletebolloxthismorning.

Author's Reply:
Hi Flashers

I thank you kindly for reading and commenting, and especially for your ever acute eye to details etc.

I guess the era would be late 60's/early 70's, and they were very polite ladies (mostly!). Yes, the Special Brew might even have been the final straw for Maude, but I take your point and I'm going to change it - but I was trying to do a wee exercise in 'atypical' characters as opposed to stereotypical.

Thanks again Mr Flashy!

Kat :o)

karenuk on 21-10-2005
Men, huh?
Great characterisation and dialogue, but I found the ending a bit disappointing and sudden. I wanted more - which is a good thing ๐Ÿ™‚
Karen xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Karen

Thank you very much for reading and commenting - much appreciated. Yes, I think the ending is perhaps a bit sudden - I did have another line or two (says she desperately), but mailnly I was trying to experiment with the idea for the characters, and wanted it to be like a (kind of) comedy sketch.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

tai on 21-10-2005
Men, huh?
You have a wicked sense of humour Kat!lol Nice to see it here and nice to hear those women taking control. I had a friend who left him for another woman! You can't get your own back more than that as a woman.

Not my cup of tea...yet!lol

Grinning

Tai x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tai

Thank you for commenting and for taking this in the spirit in which it was intended! A wee 'experimental' piece - ahem...

Cheers

Kat :o)

Griffonner on 21-10-2005
Men, huh?
Hello, Kat. Gosh! Can't you tell that there is a poet behind your pen on this occasion? Well drawn characters, and though it may not have been intentional, for me there was laughter... perhaps I was being cruel, because apart from poetic justice being metered out by Mavis's leaving, there was the absurdity of the impression that he carried on watching the nine o'clock news while she packed.

Author's Reply:
Hi Griffoner

Thank you kindly for commenting, and laughter is fine with me, but there's a smidgen of sad realism here as well.

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

AnthonyEvans on 21-10-2005
Men, huh?
an enjoyable read, kat, like a slice of overheard conversation. or like you say yourself, a (low-key) comedy sketch.

i loved that phrase: 'lounging in their monogamy;' and 'hairier' days had me laughing out loud.

i would cut '(she had a poorly poodle)' thus keeping the dialogue nicely surreal.

i had 3 problems:

1. maybe i'm a bit thick but i didn't quite get that bottle rolling down the hill business. if she was below it, surely she had a chance to save it, whereas if she was above it, she wouldn't have a chance?

2. peridots has me reaching for the dictionary.

3. Aran cardigan. the prob for me with this is that the women (to my untrained ears??) sound as though they might very well be wearing something similar, so maybe just a white cardigan would do?

but, back to the top, an enjoyable read.

best wishes, anthony.



Author's Reply:
Hi Anthony

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this and let me know your thoughts. I do agree with you about the 'poorly poodle' bit - I thought it sounded a bit out of kilter there, but I loved the expression! But I'm going to snip it out now.

The bottle and hill business was just that they were sitting on the slope of the hill watching the sun go down with their wine, and Maude's ex-husband was sitting a wee bit behind her, thus the wine poured onto her when he knocked it over. I could see it in my mind's eye but perhaps it isn't so clear for the reader. And I've been that person sitting downslope!

Nothing wrong with reaching for a dictionary now and again, eh? ;o)

On the cardigan front, I take your point as well, but I imagined the ladies in twin sets - in fact the final couple of lines that I had (before posting) mentioned this.

All valid points which I really appreciate you making, Anthony - thanks again...I'm off to shave the poodles!

Kat :o)

shackleton on 21-10-2005
Men, huh?
'Mavis and Maude reminisce about the days when they were heterosexualโ€ฆand are they the only lesbians in the WRVS?'

Only my mate Kat could have written an introduction like that. I thought your poetry was good - your stories are bit special too.

I think Henry is quite possibly the quintessential British male.

Good story, Kat!




Author's Reply:
Hi Shacks

Thank you for a lovely comment - just a wee bit of fun, and I appreciate you taking the time with it.

Cheers

Kat :o)

red-dragon on 22-10-2005
Men, huh?
Hi Kat - a read packed with lovely detail, marred for me (and it's only me!) by the fact that I can hear Les Dennis being Mavis from Coronation Streeet. Unfortunate, but true. Also, you mention in your lead about the WRVS, yet no mention of it later.....

late 60's feel about it I think? Overall, some excellent characterisation and dialogue and the white elephant link was inspired! Ann

Author's Reply:
Oops, I think I just replied in the wrong place (or not) but I wanted to add that the WRVS question is rhetorical by the narrator, as opposed to M&M, and I did wonder about that being clear so maybe I need to look at that. Thanks Ann.

Kat :o)

Kat on 22-10-2005
Men, huh?
Hi Ann

Thank you very much for commenting. Les Dennis' Mavis, eh? Ooh, Rita!

The WRVS mention in the intro was kind of meant to work as a mock up of 'The only gay in the village' from 'Little Britain', so I meant it more rhetorically, if that makes any sense?

Thanks again, Ann!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 22-10-2005
Men, huh?
So -how is Doris? Don't stop there Kat of the novel idea - I have a character called Lily Bloom - they would get on so well i think -i liked your story - i think these characters would almost write themselves if you carried on with them somehow, your keen observations would get ...keener too! - very enjoyable xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hi ld

I keep replying in the wrong place - I really should put my reading specs on! 8)

Please see the reply to you in the comments box below, and, another thanks!

Kat x

Kat on 23-10-2005
Men, huh?
Thanks, ld - I appreciate your comments very much! I was having a wee play around here - a line had come into my head and I wanted to use it in something and this developed from there.

Yes, it is 'open-ended' and it might be interesting to give Doris a look in of sorts! ;o)

Thanks again.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 23-10-2005
Men, huh?
I love this young Katflap. My fav of yours to date I am thinking. Oh yes, I do occasionally 'think'. Very clever, very witty, very Kat.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he doesn't think much of turtles

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunks

...well, I always think a lot of your comments and I thank you kindly for taking the time to read this and let me know your thoughts.

Cheers ma dear!

Kat :o)

niece on 23-10-2005
Men, huh?
Dear Kat,
This was fun to read...tho' I don't know any lesbians (even if there was one, I'm sure I am never going to know), but the coffees, doughnuts, etc was something I could associate with. A few of us mums meet at a local cafe while our littles one take their football coaching and while there, we bitch about our better(?)-havles too.
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

That's a great comment! *big grin*

Thank you for letting me know your thoughts.

Cheers

Kat :o)

RoyBateman on 23-10-2005
Men, huh?
I sympathise with that bloke! Dear me, don't we get some stick, eh? Still, it's not everybody that's perfect like what I am...shame. Nice dialogue, and I too could have taken more! Dunno about the comparison with French and Saunders that somebody made, though - this was amusing, so where's the similarity??

Author's Reply:
Hello lovely Roy!

Thanks for popping in and I appreciate your comments - very much!

Cheers

Kat *grinning*

Ionicus on 23-10-2005
Men, huh?
Nicely done, kitten. Very amusing tale. I feel a bit sorry for the hapless Henry.
Would she have felt the same had she married an Italian - intellectually and physically stimulating by all accounts - or was her hidden sensuality so strong that it wouldn't have made any difference?
Cheers and top marks even if you don't want to be rated.
Why? All the best, Luigi.

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi

Thanks for a great comment! ;o) Yes, the Italian does sound tempting...but unless it was an Italian woman I don't think it would have mattered much! :O)

I don't bother with the ratings because I think they can be even more subjective than the comments, which I much prefer...and I don't make use of the ratings for other poeple's work either...thanks again Mr Stallion!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

potleek on 25-10-2005
Men, huh?
Kat don't we all love to listen in to others juicey conversations.
Thanks I enjoyed this, me nosey..never !! Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony

Thank you for being nosey enough to pop in and give this your time!

Cheers

Kat :o)

Jen_Christabel on 02-11-2005
Men, huh?
I am tootling round finding interesting things to read and happened on this. Class! What more can I say LOL LOL. Really made me smile and gave a ray of sunshine to my dreary day :o)
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer

Comment down below for you! Thanks again.

Kat x

Kat on 02-11-2005
Men, huh?
Hi Jennifer

Just you keep tootling as you're fair cheering me up and making me smile big time! Toodle pip.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:


Erect Like Women (posted on: 07-10-05)
Experimental or maybe, just mental. ;o)

She slides up -
dark hair flicks to the stage as
her body arches like a viaduct.
She makes eye contact.

She slides down –
pubic bone magnetises
Lurex allures - he leers.
She's a siphon for lust
and he must slip her one
crisp note.

She slides up –
it could be May and she's an artisan.
Black stilettos stab
sexuality forged. She glides
her fingers along his throat
like a razor on her leg.

She slides down –
bra in his lap, a class act?
Her thong is gone.

She slides up
and her cherry-mauve lips mock.

Archived comments for Erect Like Women
Slovitt on 2005-10-07 08:10:11
Re: Erect Like Women
Kat: Yes, I suppose her 'cherry-mauve lips' would 'mock'. You've got your details, and you've created sexual and verbal tension, so you've got your poem. I do think that all of the personal pronouns, the repetitive 'she' and 'her' become obtrusive, and that you would have a more organic, more potentially interactive, one-less-layer-to-go-through kind of poem if you could work with that. In any event, a good piece. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hi Swep

Thank you for taking the time to comment and I definitely agree with you about the pronouns perhaps getting in the way. I will definitely have a wee mull about your comments - thanks again!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

karenuk on 07-10-2005
Erect Like Women
'and he must slip her one
crisp note' - ha ha! Loved this bit ๐Ÿ™‚

A lot of clever word-play and good imagery there.

Karen x

Author's Reply:
Hi Karen

I appreciate you commenting, and yes, there's definitely a wee bit of word play going on. ;o)
Thanks!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Apolloneia on 07-10-2005
Erect Like Women
Good poem Kat!
Nicoletta x.

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Nic! I'm not too sure about the structure here and I may take some of Swep's advice - I appreciate you reading.

Kat x

allieuk on 07-10-2005
Erect Like Women
"and he must slip her one
crisp note."

That's pure class!

Ohh, bloody Karen got there first. That woman, we're such good friends we finish each other's sentences and get the same ideas. sigh.

But anyway, she's right. This is so steamy, it's fantastic. She has so much power, it's almost scary lol. Well done!

Allie x

Author's Reply:
Hi Allie

Thank you very much for leaving such an enthusiastic comment, and I do appreciate it! I look forward to catching up with some of the other subs over the weekend - including yours!

That's great to have a fellow 'writing' pal - what fun!

Thanks again.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Flash on 08-10-2005
Erect Like Women
*looks on puzzled, and also as usual looks very sweet and innocent*

i haven't got a scoobey doo wot was going on in that one kitten.

xxx
Flashysoconfusedhe'swearinghispantsbacktofront.

Author's Reply:
Hi Flash

Well, what can I say? Want a Scooby snack?

Those pants look silly you know.

Kitten ;o)

Sunken on 08-10-2005
Erect Like Women
Bloody hell Kat. I don't know what's got into all the uka ladies lately (don't answer that). This is the third time this week that I have been 'affected' by a post. I just hope that you are all aware that my timekeeping is suffering terribly for these posts! Please keep them up. Thanks.

s
u
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k
e
n

he fails daily

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunks

Dib dib dab...;o)

Thank you for reading, and letting me know your 'thoughts'.

Kat x

Jolen on 08-10-2005
Erect Like Women
Kat,
I am loving your stuff, you have captured the realism here beautifully.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Jolen - I appreciate you popping in to read and comment!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

littleditty on 08-10-2005
Erect Like Women
Hi Kat -this is visual - hot, powerful, evokes a strong female sexuality - you have inspired me to try and write about a little naked techno strip joint in a fishing village in Brasil -the women there are awesome - they seemed to have a lot of power and control over what they were doing and how they used/moved their bodies! - Nice one Kat xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
Hello weeditty



I can't wait to read your poem and I'm happy if I have inspired you!



And yes, thank you for picking up on the 'strong female sexuality bit' as that was key, and you are spot on about those beautiful, samba-dancing, carnival-ing, Brasilian women!



I'm off for a caipirinha (?sp)!



Kat x

Dargo77 on 09-10-2005
Erect Like Women
Kat, wonderfully clever and a favourite for me.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:
Hi Dargo

Thank you very much for making this a fav and for your very encouraging comments.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

tai on 09-10-2005
Erect Like Women
This is kats hot period then?lol I love this naughty teacher type you!!!rofl...hope the students don't get any silly ideas...

Wicked work

surreal 18 plus from me.

Tai

Author's Reply:
That's a great comment, Tai - I'm chuckling away here like Mutley, Dick Dastardly's dog. I appreciate you reading and big thanks!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚


Heidi Says (posted on: 07-10-05)
~~~

I'm a kid, it's my job to play. Don't catapult me beyond boundaries that I don't understand.
Archived comments for Heidi Says
niece on 2005-10-07 09:25:58
Re: Heidi Says
Dear Kat,
Here where the educational system is so non-child-friendly, your poem holds too good. My little one starts regular school next year and I am already dreading it because I am told they are doing much more than what my older one did in the same class four years back.
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:
Hi niece

I thank you very much for commenting and that you took something from this wee poem. A 'non child-friendly' educational system sounds pretty grim, but I hope that your child manages to get on well.

All the best to you.

Kat x

Apolloneia on 07-10-2005
Heidi Says
Excellent short poem Kat. Loved it.
Nicoletta x.

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic

Thank you very much for a great comment and for making this a fav - much appreciated!

Kat x

Gerry on 07-10-2005
Heidi Says
Know what you mean Kat. Children should make haste slowly.
Nice little ode...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Cheers, Gerry! I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Sunken on 07-10-2005
Heidi Says
You are good at these bite-sized subs young Katflap. They put me in mind of those ickul shreddies that are full of wheatgerm goodness. You however, my dear Katrina, are far more than the recommended daily requirement (-; Thanks.

s
u
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k
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n

Author's Reply:
*has huge grin on face, as per, when the Munky has visited*

Thanks Mr Sunky!

Kat x

shackleton on 07-10-2005
Heidi Says
Deep little gem, Kat. My grandson is currently undergoing potty training - he prefers to put it on his head. Go, Kat, go!

Author's Reply:
Hi shacks

The wee lamb...I hope it's empty at the time! ;o)

Thank you for spending some time with this wee poem.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Flash on 08-10-2005
Heidi Says
Do you mind asking... before you write poems about me Young Kat???????;-0)

xxxx
Flashinveryshorttightplaidpants

Author's Reply:
Hehe - well I was going to Flashers, but you were fully engrossed with your Lego!



Thanks for popping in with a 'quip' and equipped with very nice pants - I'm a sucker for plaid.



Kat x

RoyBateman on 08-10-2005
Heidi Says
Too true - we lose childhood all too quickly, then spend the rest of our lives looking fondly back, knowing it's lost for ever. A very philosphical write, especially given its length!

Author's Reply:
Thank you, Roy - that's a great comment.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

allieuk on 08-10-2005
Heidi Says
Yup, as a Mummy I can relate to this. There is so much in the world waiting to take our kids' innocence. I blinking wish I could do this zen "few words powerful message" thing that you're so good at! Seeing things like this makes me think sometimes I should try to discipline my word vomit a little.

*smiling, slightly envious*
Allie x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 08-10-2005
Heidi Says
Dear Allie

Thank you for a very kind and generous comment - I really appreciate it! As for your own work? I am very fast becoming a firm fan - loved your WI one!

Thanks again.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

chrissy on 09-10-2005
Heidi Says
Kat, this is very right in the content department and so succinctly written.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
Thank you, chrissy! I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

tai on 09-10-2005
Heidi Says
Nice one Kat. May every adult take note.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:
Yes, wouldn't that be great, Tai. Thanks for commenting!

Smiling too.

Kat :O)


Dyke-less (posted on: 03-10-05)
;o)

Woman the floodgates!
Try and grasp any sense
she might be making as
she flows on a manic swell.

Catch her words and pin them
down, let them dry off in
your mind. Don't judge
these feminine meanderings –

alluvial allusions aside
her crafty ways delve deep
depositing dirty S-bends

that twist and snake
like sex and a man's thoughts.

Archived comments for Dyke-less
Slovitt on 2005-10-03 13:09:46
Re: Dyke-less
Kat: Pretty good, 'alluvial allusions aside/her crafty ways delve deep/depositing dirty S-bends/that twist and snake/like sex and a man's thoughts.'/.
I like your enjambments and find them to seem to be chosen, which these days is unusual, and enjambments one of the simplest and most potent ways to shape, and energize a poem. Your closing two lines are strong. A good poem. Swep

Author's Reply:

red-dragon on 2005-10-03 14:00:28
Re: Dyke-less
Kat, I wasn't sure what I was going to be reading, but, wow, did I enjoy it! Excellent read. Ann

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-03 16:47:21
Re: Dyke-less
Thank you, Swep! I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me about this poem.

Re enjambments: I find I seem to write poems in the same old way (perhaps not inventive enough) and I tend to follow my speech patterns (I think). ;o)

Cheers, Swep.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-03 16:48:32
Re: Dyke-less
Thank you, Ann - your enthusiastic comment is much appreciated.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-10-03 16:51:54
Re: Dyke-less
Great poetry Kat, your work is always so immaculately written Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-03 18:44:13
Re: Dyke-less
Dear Val

Thank you for a very heartening comment - much appreciated!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

911wife6 on 2005-10-04 16:14:10
Re: Dyke-less
I totally have it. Those floodgates open every time "aunt flow" visits, Which is too often in my book. LOL
Love it.
Gay

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-04 16:23:23
Re: Dyke-less
Thanks, Gay!

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

niece on 2005-10-05 06:26:19
Re: Dyke-less
Dear Kat,
Very beautiful and powerful imagery! Good poem!Regds,niece

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-05 07:28:20
Re: Dyke-less
Thank you, niece - I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

shackleton on 2005-10-05 20:55:42
Re: Dyke-less
Very well crafted, Kat. Still cogitating the content. Got me thunking. Catch you later.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-05 22:21:19
Re: Dyke-less
Hi shacks

Thank you for dropping by - I appreciate it!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-10-05 23:02:09
Re: Dyke-less
Kat,

Another strong and well penned poem. I loved the title and you backed it up well all the way down to the final two brilliant lines.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-06 16:54:57
Re: Dyke-less
Hi Jolen

You're very kind! I appreciate you reading and commenting very much.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-10-06 19:11:58
Re: Dyke-less
You are a very clever Kat. This caused many a smirk, from start to the bEnd. Here's hoping that Uka is never Kat-less (Corny comment 34/200)
Thanks.

s
u
n
k
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n

he will never marry because of his vicar phobia

Author's Reply:

allieuk on 2005-10-06 21:30:09
Re: Dyke-less
LOL, fantastic! Amusing and clever. I recognise this.

Allie

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-06 21:45:32
Re: Dyke-less
Hi darling Sunky!

And you always make me smile when I read your comments, and I know I always say that, but it's good that some things never change!

Thank you for popping in - your comfy chair is always there. ;o)

Kat



Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-06 21:47:18
Re: Dyke-less
Hi Allie

Thank you for taking the time to read this and comment!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:


Black Beauty (posted on: 30-09-05)
~~~

Breathtaking, awe-inspiring, black
as dark brown and round in
a syrupy way. Molasses syllables -
the treacle of her voice, her choice of words
which give all sinners the benefit of
the doubt.

She's a packet of Zen, a box of verve
the nerve they have to body swerve -
only listening when it's too late and
the hate has glugged their ears

and they look like sad, sleepy, sad
sleepy donkeys.

Archived comments for Black Beauty
Dargo77 on 2005-09-30 14:31:15
Re: Black Beauty
Kat, loved this. I especially thought the line 'black as dark brown' to be so inventive and loved the way you have used sad/sleepy twice, in the last two lines.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-30 17:53:41
Re: Black Beauty
Thank you, Dargo! It's so lovely to 'see' you again!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

blackdove on 2005-10-02 13:41:00
Re: Black Beauty
Hi Kat,
I liked the sounds in this and the pictures
...dark brown and round in a syrupy way...
...mollasses syllables, the treacle of her voice...
and
...giving ALL sinners the benefit of the doubt...

Is it about racism?

The image that comes to me is of the big black mammy on the front of the American syrup Aunt Jemima Pancake mix...
you see I'm a very literally person and like to understand things...
Tell me.
Jem

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 14:12:18
Re: Black Beauty
Hi Jem

Thank you for giving this your time and interest, and yes, it could be about racism and I had one of my heroine's in mind, Maya Angelou, when I wrote this. I just love to hear her speak and what she has to say

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-10-02 15:29:29
Re: Black Beauty
The first stanza is my favourite, the second is probably the one with the most powerful message and the last two lines very strong, cryptically strong.
Regarding: Molasses syllables - the treacle of her voice, how about :

in a syrupy way. Treacle syllables -
the trickle of her voice, her choice of
molasses words which give all sinners
the benefit of doubt.

I liked it!
Nic x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 16:22:58
Re: Black Beauty
Hi Nic

Thank you for reading and giving this your time! I really like your suggestions too, and I'm going to have a wee mull over them - thank you!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-02 17:14:52
Re: Black Beauty
Thinking of Maya? She was my first love *long dreamy pause* and your first verse -YES! - she is all that. I understand the black beauty/donkey thing but i wasn't sure if this was maya and her specific/general audience or if you went off in another direction with the poem with/from 'the nerve they have to body swerve -' However, i am also very fond of donkeys so perhaps that is why i am a bit confused! Anyway -i enjoyed this piece - 'f' words : fine (write) fab (read) thanks Kat xxxlittleditty x


Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 17:54:59
Re: Black Beauty
Thank you wee ditty!

I love your comments and I love donkeys and I didn't mean to slate any in the writing of this. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I guess I just refer to certain 'asses' and your reading of the poem sounds good to me - thank you!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

blackdove on 2005-10-02 18:16:21
Re: Black Beauty
That's spooky, well maybe not...cause I didn't tie up the two...
Ah but -
I'm reading the second installment of her autobiography, 'Gather Together in My Name',
its in my handbag beside me at this moment as I write ...
Actually, it did make me think of some all-forgiving image and then I remembered someone once wrote - what if there was a God and what if God was a woman and black?
Maya Angelou comes close.
Luv Jem x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-03 00:23:01
Re: Black Beauty
Hi Jem

Thanks for sharing that, and yes, a very interesting thought...;o)

I'm a huge fan of hers - I love all her work and though I read widely, I've found it hard to find someone who can surpass her in depth, wisdom and humanity. Nothing seems impossible or insurmountable to her.

I appreciate you popping back in and I'm sure you're enjoying her work.

All the best.

Kat x

Author's Reply:


Fame (posted on: 30-09-05)
...another 'F' word. ;o)

There's no such thing as
an overnight success, just
a lifetime condensed

Archived comments for Fame
niece on 2005-09-30 11:59:25
Re: Fame
Dear Kat.
How true! This is one "F" everyone would love to have in their lives. Nice little poem.
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-30 17:51:36
Re: Fame
Hi niece

Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-09-30 17:55:19
Re: Fame
Kat this is so cool i really like it. Wish I had thought of it myself. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-30 18:18:23
Re: Fame
You are so kind, lovely Val - thank you!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-30 19:01:05
Re: Fame
What a lovely comment, Tai-Li and thank you!

I'd been pondering this particular 'F' word recently and the thought, 'There's no such thing as an overnight success...' came to me as a truism.

And it means a lot whan others share where you're coming from - thanks again!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

red-dragon on 2005-09-30 21:51:50
Re: Fame
Kat, how true and how ell you've expressed it. Everyone should go through an apprenticeship of expressing their thoughts in a form like this! It does make you think about words! Can't wait for your next one....Ann

Author's Reply:

red-dragon on 2005-09-30 21:52:33
Re: Fame
Kat, how true and how well you've expressed it. Everyone should go through an apprenticeship of expressing their thoughts in a form like this! It does make you think about words! Can't wait for your next one....Ann

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-09-30 22:00:58
Re: Fame
You are too good young Kat sat on the mat.
I'm not very good at condensing things. I tend to ramble and it all goes tits up cause I never really know what I'm on about. I do like that condensed milk though that comes in cartons that you can't open without it going all over the place. I hope this helps. Thanks. isn't it autumnal?

s
u
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k
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n

useless comment 24/250

Author's Reply:

Kipper on 2005-09-30 22:10:59
Re: Fame
Fame
Just twelve words to express (for some) a lifetime of endeavour.
Good work.
Michael

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-30 22:16:12
Re: Fame
Ah, thank you, Ann - you are very kind with your lovely comment!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-30 22:17:57
Re: Fame
Thanks, Michael - I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-30 22:21:42
Re: Fame
Pah...useless comment indeed...designed to bring a smile (as always) to the faces of fellow UKAneers! Thank you Mr Munky.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-10-01 17:13:12
Re: Fame
Very succinct - you didn't need more than a hiaku to make your point with clarity - and that ain't easy!

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-01 17:31:57
Re: Fame
Hi Roy

Thank you for reading and commenting - much appreciated!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

blackdove on 2005-10-02 13:46:50
Re: Fame
Liked it!
Jem

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 14:14:37
Re: Fame
Thanks, Jem - much appreciated!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 14:20:59
Re: Fame
Well, Mr Wolfie...what can I say? Your love haiku has really done it for me...given me images of a can of Campbell's condensed TOMATO soup!

I thank you from the bottom of my shopping bag! ;o)

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-10-02 15:36:17
Re: Fame
Couldn't agree more with you. Good haiku!
Nic x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 16:41:47
Re: Fame
Thank you dear Nic!

Kat x

Author's Reply:


The 'F' Words (posted on: 26-09-05)
I've been obsessing about them recently... ๐Ÿ˜‰

Fascists turn me off
It's time to make the judgement
I can't forgive you

Archived comments for The 'F' Words
Bradene on 2005-09-26 11:35:49
Re: The 'F' Words
A fine Haiku Kat, Says a lot. love Val x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-26 13:13:47
Re: The 'F' Words
Hi Kat of the Haiku - this made me think of The Specials:

If you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end

Be it your sister, be it your brother
Be it your cousin, or your uncle, or your lover

If you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end

Be it your best friend, or any other
Is it your husband, or your father, or your mother

Either change their views
Or change your friends

If you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end

So if you know a racist who thinks he is your friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end

Call yourself my friend
Now is the time to make up your mind
Don't try to pretend

Be it your sister, be it your brother
Be it your cousin, or your uncle, or your lover

So if you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For our friendship to end
~~~

Forgiveness is a tricky business - but understanding is possible and also, i think necessary - and for that i need to listen. Liked your Haiku Kat xxxlittleditty x


Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-26 15:48:09
Re: The 'F' Words
Thank you, Val! I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-26 15:59:50
Re: The 'F' Words
Hi weeditty

Thank you for sharing the lyrics from The Specials with me - they're great! ๐Ÿ™‚

Yes, understanding is very necessary/the key and I'm a great advocate of it - there are small f's and big F's and lots of little in between f's.

And forgiveness is indeed tricky and sometimes moreso, if it is with a family member or a friend - the dynamic changes, and you never forget.

I'm obsessing again! Thanks ld!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-09-26 17:57:20
Re: The 'F' Words
Kat, I think there is a story here screaming to get out...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 00:26:31
Re: The 'F' Words
Hehe, thanks Gerry, and you could be right! And that's where these satisfying wee haikus come in (being pushed for time to write the trilogy at the mo!) ๐Ÿ˜‰

Cheers for reading and commenting.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-09-27 03:44:19
Re: The 'F' Words
Too clever! I had to read this as I too have a thing for them 'f' words.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 05:03:56
Re: The 'F' Words
Yes, Jolen...and having just come from reading your latest submission I can see why! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Thank you for popping in and commenting - much appreciated.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-09-27 20:40:01
Re: The 'F' Words
Oh, I thought it was going to be about Frisbee's young Kat flap? I like a Frisbee. You can be assured that I too am turned right off by fascist scum bags. I do however, have a liking for Tea bags? I hope this is ok. Well done, a very strong message with just 14 words. I can even forgive you the fact that it wasn't about Frisbee's. Top write, useless comment. I'll just do one. Thanks for allowing me in your box.... I really should rephrase that shouldn't I? Take care young Kat on a hot tin roof.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he worries about gary barlow

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-28 02:35:04
Re: The 'F' Words
Hello Munkyman! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I always love your comments - who doesn't? In fact, I think you should produce a book purely with your 'priceless comments' inside.

Thank you for dropping by!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-28 02:38:53
Re: The 'F' Words
Mr Wolfie...I can see where you are...er...coming from, but I usually enjoy a more than, one-sided experience, if you know what I mean. ;o)

Thank you for poppin in!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

karenuk on 2005-09-29 10:14:01
Re: The 'F' Words
Haikus are difficult to write. I've just done one for a competition. Yours was very good with an important message too.
Karen.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-29 17:01:35
Re: The 'F' Words
Hi Karen

Thank you for reading and commenting - good luck with the competition!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚



Author's Reply:

911wife6 on 2005-10-04 07:40:58
Re: The 'F' Words
Fine, fantastic Haiku. Totally wasn't expecting it. LOL
Gay

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-04 16:21:44
Re: The 'F' Words
Thank you, Gay - I appreciate you reading!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:


You Saved My Life Today (posted on: 26-09-05)
~~~

And quite easily really: you smiled and giggled she sent me a newsy letter he brought me Printen from Aachen they rang the other night it nuzzled at my ankles we have plans for the future I believe in myself again You saved my life today.
Archived comments for You Saved My Life Today
tai on 2005-09-26 09:20:34
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Hi Kat, thank the lord! we all need a saviors such as yours. It is so hard to keep the faith in ourselves.

Wonderful work as usual

10 from me, if I were allowed!lol

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

chrissy on 2005-09-26 10:54:19
Re: You Saved My Life Today
It's the little things that can do it and all you have to do is recognize them.
Beautifully written.
chrissy

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-09-26 11:15:55
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Beautiful poetry Kat, A saviour would be welcome here for me right now! ((-; Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-26 16:09:05
Re: You Saved My Life Today
'Tai gave me a ten today!'

Thank you dear, Tai! I always appreciate your cheery comments.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-26 16:11:46
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Hi chrissy

Yes...it is indeed the little things, eh? And their recognition. Thank you for reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-26 16:15:54
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Dear Val

Thank you very much for commenting and I hope that your saviour is on their way right now!

All the best.

Kat (()/)

Author's Reply:

Slovitt on 2005-09-26 16:20:00
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Kat: This is well, and concisely done. I read it as the people in one's life, the people that are and enrich one's life, that reassure us about life, and ourselves. And the one that saves our life. Yes, that one. Swep

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-26 16:28:27
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Hi Swep

Thank you for a great comment:

'Yes, that one.' ๐Ÿ˜‰

I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know your thoughts.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-09-26 17:35:17
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Kat--things don't sound too bad then ๐Ÿ˜‰
I hope they get better still...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-09-26 17:59:41
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Nice one Kat.
take care
xXx...:::...Baby PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-09-26 17:59:45
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Nice one Kat.
take care
xXx...:::...Baby PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 00:29:26
Re: You Saved My Life Today
;o) You're right, Gerry...the power of gingerbread cookies, eh? I appreciate you reading.

Prost

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 00:31:10
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Thank you, Baby! Must scan your poem again, it was looking very good when I caught it earlier.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-09-27 00:40:52
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Lovely piece Kat, enjoyed reading.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 00:55:42
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Thank you, Si - much appreciated!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-09-27 07:09:02
Re: You Saved My Life Today
I hope your plans for the future include continuing to post subs to uka young Katrina? They better bloody do or there will be trouble with a big T. So much from so little, a true talent. Believe.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he never got over the take that split

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 07:20:28
Re: You Saved My Life Today
You know, Sunky...I went all warm and fuzzy when I read your lovely comment - thank you Mr Munky!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Warhorse on 2005-09-27 07:45:46
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Hi Kat,
such a pity about the rating a 9 from me.

this is a very clever piece of poetry.
and the end game
I believe in myself again
you saved my life today.

a pure celebration of your world being turned around.

well done

regards

Mike.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 07:56:20
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Hi Mike

I very much appreciate your 9 - many thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

niece on 2005-09-27 09:43:13
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Dear Kat,
Youโ€™ve managed to say so much in such a few words. Lovely poem!
Regds,niece


Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 16:37:46
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Thank you, niece! I'm very glad you dropped by.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-09-28 18:10:19
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Very concise yet meaningful piece - okay, it took me a few reads to ensure I was getting everything and realise that "you" was very much plural, but that's fair enough. A great deal said in 38 words - would that some of us could be so clever!

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-28 18:56:47
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Hi Roy

I very much appreciate you taking the time with this and commenting. Moi, clever? Mais non, I think 'simple' sums me up better! ;o)

Thanks again!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Gee on 2005-09-29 23:27:20
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Kat, that's lovely!
Little things, thoughtful things, can make such a difference, can't they? I often wonder if others realise what an impact they can have on the lives of others.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-30 17:49:29
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Hi Gee

Thanks for a great comment and for making this a fav - much appreciated. The little things are certainly very important.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-01 16:56:46
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Thank you for reading and commenting, dear Tai-Li!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-10-02 15:02:18
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Kitten

Did you remove the ratings cos...*giggles* you were scared someone might give....*chuckles* you one?

If you let me rate, and if i did rate i'd give you a lot more than one.;-0)

But you don't so i can't anyway :0-(

Aren't girlies easily made content? lots of wussy thing make you lot happy........pffffffffff!!

Thank God blokies are in chargeof everything, that's all i can say!

xxxxxxxx
Flashyandlouloutypingcommentsontheputersmiling

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-10-02 15:33:26
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Lovely! ๐Ÿ™‚
Nic x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 16:25:06
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Cheers, Nic! I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 16:37:50
Re: You Saved My Life Today
Flash McFlashery...your perception knows no bounds...Yes, it's the wussy/simple things...which is why you make me happy whenever you pop in with a wonderful comment. ;o)

Toodlepip and love to Loulou!

Kitten x

Author's Reply:


Medusa (posted on: 23-09-05)
Sometimes, it's better out than in... ;o)

She's got more faces than Ben Nevis – an assumed hard terrain but pock-marked with sap, pitted with web-like moss. A veritable west coast monster with the blinkeredness of a bigot and the complexion of a splattered haggis. I don't like her very much.
Archived comments for Medusa
Flash on 2005-09-23 08:57:06
Re: Medusa
Hey! I know this cow!

Nice wee rant. Scratchy scratchy kitten.

MIAOW!!!!!!

xxx
Flash

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-09-23 10:20:38
Re: Medusa
Great to read your work again Kat!lol I love your outpourings. It reads so tantalisingly choppy.

10 from me.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

karenuk on 2005-09-23 11:55:48
Re: Medusa
Yeah, I kind of guessed you didn't like her, LOL! ๐Ÿ™‚
Karen x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-23 16:13:52
Re: Medusa
Hi Flash

It's just a wee tongue in cheek piece, but I felt better for it...and not a swear word in it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-23 16:17:04
Re: Medusa
Hi Tai!

It's good to see one of your lovely tens again, Tai-ger! I can go with 'tantalisingly choppy' - thank you for popping in and have a great weekend!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-23 16:19:20
Re: Medusa
Hi Karen

Thanks for popping in - just a wee little ditty! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-09-23 17:02:38
Re: Medusa
Oh yes I love this.. you are right better out than in. I just love the thought of a complexion of a splattered hagis. Great stuff Kat. love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-23 18:25:23
Re: Medusa
Val, I thank you very much for taking the time with this...er...bit of awful offal from me! ๐Ÿ˜‰

And of course, no real or live haggis were used in the penning of this particular beast.

Thanks again!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

shackleton on 2005-09-23 20:05:19
Re: Medusa
'and the complexion of
a splattered haggis'.

Cor blimey, Kat! I'm sure I used to date her in the late 60s.

Spitting it all out there, kiddo. Does you good sometimes. Let her stew in her own 'pock-marked' juices. You go, girl!

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-09-23 20:37:40
Re: Medusa
Well know she knows--I don't think I like her either ๐Ÿ˜‰

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-09-23 20:44:23
Re: Medusa
Yup, I know one too, I could easily throttle her at times, actually I could do a lot more to her!!!

Great poem hun. ;^)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-23 21:59:29
Re: Medusa
Hehe, thanks shacks! Reading your comment was as satisfying as writing this wee bit of thistle-y fluff.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-23 22:02:19
Re: Medusa
:o) Cheers for popping in, Gerry!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-23 22:04:03
Re: Medusa
Yes, there are a few around eh? Cheers for commenting, Claire!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

niece on 2005-09-24 11:35:29
Re: Medusa
Dear Kat,
What a great way of getting it out of your systemโ€ฆand in the bargain, we get to read some good poetry!
Regds,niece

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-24 15:04:45
Re: Medusa
Thank you, niece! You are very kind and it's much appreciated.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-09-24 21:55:41
Re: Medusa
Do you have her number Kat? Ya never know, ten more pints and I might just find her attractive. What she'll think of me is anyone's guess. I reckon we could both put paper bags on our heads tho? Very cool little write young Kat. I missed your subs ya know? Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

also available in cinema-scope

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-25 13:15:11
Re: Medusa
Hi Sunky

Thank you for popping in and making me smile, as per, and thanks also for your kind words.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:


You Came (posted on: 19-09-05)
~~~

I needed you and you came aflame with love and smiling eyes which couldn't be real but I believed. You stood by the kitchen sink smaller than I remember but big on maternal comfort. You wore a fleecy cardigan over your nightdress giving you the substance I felt when I hugged you. The resonance of your chuckle the semblance of you touched me like your soft curls used to. It's a magical thing being a conjuror - like someone who misses the confident click of your knitting needles, your easy-going charm and the ever-ready warmth you wore like a housecoat.
Archived comments for You Came
littleditty on 2005-09-19 06:43:39
Re: You Came
Kat - you got me all teary with this one - my Austrian Granny Lily - just back spaced and deleted a list of your lines - what an evocative poem -i think she's here now - how did you do that? Apart from wondering if we are related, i feel sure that this brings your 'her' back for you too - wonderful writing Kat - xxxlittleweepyx (but smiling too x)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-19 06:55:12
Re: You Came
Hey, ld! We're the early birds aren't we? ๐Ÿ˜‰

I thank you for a really lovely comment which I appreciate muchly! Have a lovely day!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

ruadh on 2005-09-19 11:04:45
Re: You Came
Nicely done Kat, all nostalgic now.

love ailsa

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-09-19 13:26:43
Re: You Came
Kat what a lovely poem! I was so touched by this and therefore disappointed not to be able to rate it. You would have scored Ten from me and a nib too It's so good. love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-19 17:32:36
Re: You Came
Thank you, Ailsa! I appreciate you popping in.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-19 17:35:13
Re: You Came
Aw shucks, Val...thank you for your kind words about this wee write which is very much appreciated.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-09-20 02:12:56
Re: You Came
Hello kitten mitten

Just popped in to say how much i enjoyed your wee bit of nostalgia.

xxx
Flash

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-20 02:30:22
Re: You Came
Hi Flashy washy

Thank you for popping in and leaving your truncheon outside...Ooh...or is that why you're called Flash? ๐Ÿ˜‰

I appreciate you taking the time.

Kitten x

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-09-20 20:48:51
Re: You Came
Hi Kat, I enjoyed this tender little poem.

How did the wedding and kilt job go?? ๐Ÿ™‚

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-20 21:57:10
Re: You Came
Hi Gerry

Lovely to see you and thanks for commenting!

The wedding was great - nothing like a good ol' Scottish knees up, and of course, all those men in kilts! And hubby, did cut a dash himself, I have to say! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Did you find that women were throwing themselves at you when you wore yours - or do you find that anyway? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Cheers

Kat x

Author's Reply:

shackleton on 2005-09-20 22:46:45
Re: You Came
Your soft, deft touch again, Kat. Smashing!

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-20 23:29:06
Re: You Came
Hi shacks

Thank you for popping in with a lovely comment!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-09-21 11:22:04
Re: You Came
Kat, not throwing themselves at me--more throwing themselves at my feet ๐Ÿ™‚ I think they were after a peep. LOL.
Glad it all went well.

Gerry. xxx.

Author's Reply:

sirat on 2005-09-21 12:11:57
Re: You Came
A very engaging and touching poem. Is it someone conjuring up their deceased mother? That was how I read it anyway. I can see this one ending up in the Anthology

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-21 15:22:50
Re: You Came
...A peep eh? I wonder who started the rumour? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-21 15:26:15
Re: You Came
Hello lovely sirat

Yes...and I did. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Thank you very much for popping in.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-09-21 19:42:33
Re: You Came
Kat,

This is such a lovely poem, that you are surely a 'conjurer' of wonderful poetry. Well done.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-21 19:44:50
Re: You Came
Hi Jolen

Thank you very much for reading and commenting so encouragingly - much appreciated.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-09-22 08:11:15
Re: You Came
This is more lovely than peeling a sticker off whole, ya know what I mean? Like it comes off in one go and doesn't tear and stuff? Thanks. Hope this helps? Great piece. Well done on the nomination.

s
u
n
k
e
n

also available in plastic

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-09-22 13:35:49
Re: You Came
This a beautiful poem Kat, one can see how much you miss this special person. I think the following stanza can/should be edited:
Itโ€™s a magical thing being a conjuror โ€“ like someone who misses the confident click of your knitting needles, your easy-going charm
since I think that "Like someone" is a bit clunky for the overall graceful structure of your poem. Nic x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-22 15:09:42
Re: You Came
Ah, dear Wolfie, you are very kind - thank you for such a lovely comment, and you may call me anything you like (in that ilk!), though I'm more like a thistle! ๐Ÿ˜‰

It is about my mum, yes - I had a lovely dream about her recently which felt more like a visitation...and her timing was perfect.

Thanks again Mr Wolf!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-22 15:14:13
Re: You Came
Thank you dear Munky - I always love it when you drop by with your words of wisdom (the bit about the sticker - that is SO true!). And...

I WANT A PLASTIC SUNKEN! I would place it on my desk for lots of inspiration...

Cheers Mr Munk

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-22 15:27:44
Re: You Came
Hi Nic

Thank you for your lovely comments and for your very helpful suggestion which I think I'm going to go with, as I see your wonderful poetic point!

I'm off to edit this now to my interpretation of your suggestion.

Thank you! *big hug*

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 2005-09-22 16:31:10
Re: You Came
Hi kitty kitten.
Even an old crust like me was moved by your tender, nostalgic poem.
I don't know why you're being so shy when it comes to rating. This piece deserves top marks and should be boldly displayed.
All the best, Luigi.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-22 17:31:46
Re: You Came
Ah, thank you lovely Luigi - I really appreciate your very kind words about this poem.

As for rating, it can be such a subjective thing and I find the comments much more useful, illuminating and ultimately rewarding! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I don't rate work myself...though of course, I do rate the work I read on UKA very much!

Thanks again.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-24 15:02:30
Re: You Came
Thank you Tai-Li! I really appreciate you reading and commenting. Have a lovely weekend!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-09-24 16:19:44
Re: You Came
Wow Kat, this brought a tear or two. My grandmother was my dearest love as a child and is always there. My hubby too. I have experienced your poem many a time since his untimely demise. The feeling of peace and euphoria afterwords, lasts for as long as it is needed.

I believe

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-24 16:26:56
Re: You Came
Thank you, Tai - I very much appreciate you reading and making such a lovely comment.

I enjoyed the recording of your 'Her Emerald' poem, btw.

All the best, and I mean, BEST!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 2005-09-26 10:01:16
Re: You Came
If I could knit I'd knit you a new Nana! Gentle. Dazza.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-26 15:46:42
Re: You Came
Hi Dazza

Thank you for reading and that's a lovely comment.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Abel on 2005-09-26 21:36:47
Re: You Came
Beautiful work indeed..."Itโ€™s a magical thing being a conjuror" Love this one, Kat.

Ward

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-27 00:20:33
Re: You Came
Thank you, Ward! Glad you stopped by to comment.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

allieuk on 08-10-2005
You Came
This is wonderful. Yes, it's like magic when, exactly when you need them, the ghosts from our past revisit us to ground us in our future. Gorgeous, evocative, moving.

Allie x

*having a sneaky tear, shhhhhh dont tell anyone I'm a bit soft*

Author's Reply:

Kat on 08-10-2005
You Came
Hi Allie

Thank you very much for taking the time to read, comment and make this a wee fav - much appreciated!

Kat x

Author's Reply:


Southern Brother (posted on: 02-09-05)
~My heart is with you~

Impossibly, Tom succeeds on screen but Katrina has lifted the lid on real life: natural disasters discriminate (in this case) on the side of the poor man. The underbelly sweats, starves, stares with honest eyes inhales the excrement of neighbours. We-Want-Help! The children chant as if in fun. Where are the oily gatekeepers, the slick spin-doctors? They've escaped from swamplands where low-lying predators pad a clawed imprint on bloated bodies. We're on the TV now – shoot, loot, root we're martialing law - 'Everyman' for themselves. So what's new? There's nothing scientific about it. And the world sees clearly.
Archived comments for Southern Brother
Claire on 2005-09-02 12:36:38
Re: Southern Brother
You have a good piece here for such an awful happening...

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-02 19:13:08
Re: Southern Brother
Thanks for commenting, Claire. I just had to express something. I've been very affected by the devastation.

We are likely to be moving to Houston in the spring of next year for a year or so. New Orleans has been one of my 'must see' cities for a very long time.

I am appalled that the events that have unfolded have occurred on the shores of a so-called modern, western nation.

The division between those that have and those that have not could not be wider, or clearer.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-09-02 19:26:07
Re: Southern Brother
Very powerful piece Kat, just been watching some pictures of the tragedy on TV and we are appalled by the seeming lack law and order and help for the poor.. Poor and The US don't go together naturally for the majority of the world, It just goes to show how shocking the truth really is.Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-02 19:35:07
Re: Southern Brother
Thank you, Val - I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Slovitt on 2005-09-04 08:38:50
Re: Southern Brother
Kat: Do you mean 'natural disasters discriminate
'against' the poor man.'/? And your use of 'pad' makes me wonder if 'leave' is what you mean. Beyond these minor quibbles, this is well-written, and effective, and 'And the world sees clearly.'/ is a line that brings the whole poem into focus. A good piece. Swep

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-04 10:24:26
Re: Southern Brother
Hi Swep

Thank you for reading and commenting.

To your quibbles: ๐Ÿ˜‰

Natural disasters are indiscriminate, but in this case I suggest the discrimination IS on the side of the poor man, because NOW the world sees clearly the 'them and us' state of play.

The tragic events after the hurricane itself have been witnessed by us, and we're shocked. No spin or politicking can hide the implications of the unacceptable lack of action to the plight of those too poor/sick to evacuate, and where to?

'Pad', I mean as in tread and is something an alligator might do and I wanted to show how the affected are even 'lower' than the animal kingdom in this case and have been treated as such.

I've been truly horrified.

Thank you again, Swep.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-09-04 12:04:25
Re: Southern Brother
In this particular case natural disasters discriminate indeed. The world does see clearly, but I have my doubts about the Americans. They probably need something stronger to wake up. Which is a shame, since many innocent people will pay the price for their Arrogance of power. Nothing scientific about it? sociologically speaking as well as politically one can say many many things. Thanks for the thought-provoking poem Kat.
Love Nic xx

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-04 13:18:13
Re: Southern Brother
Dear Kat - firstly i have missed your poems - this one is thought provoking indeed -i wonder what you meant by 'nothing scientific about it' as im not sure - but yes, the world does see clearly - we see U.S administation fail in the most shocking of ways and we see individuals step up to do what is the most natural - help and yes, help themselves. There are many trying to do this. Some are asking this question of themselves and their neighbours,

If a wolf came to your neighbour's door
to blow their house down
Would you huff and puff
to tidy your spare room?

If this disaster wakes a population to realise that their fervant ideological individualism does not in fact fervently value and respect the individual as it should - then perhaps the U.S.Admin and some of the people who live there, will become more critcal of itself/themselves, its policies and it's ideology. I hope so - and i hope this also for U>K and each of us here in my country as rampant individualism is all about ME for MYSELF/MY RIGHTSetc rather than ME for MYSELF/MY RIGHTSetc AND MY OBLIGATIONS and RESPONSIBILITY to OTHERS. I feel these issues are being played out now and my thoughts, like yours have been very much with all people caught up in this.

Sorry - i have waffled - i hope you dont mind my little rant here - big topic - and as usual your poetry handles big topics to produce thoughts/reactions from your reader! Thanks Kat xxxlittleditty x


Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-09-04 21:06:03
Re: Southern Brother
I don't know where my heads been this week, I seemed to have missed every news item relating to this. It's good to see you back Kat and good to see that your work is as strong as ever.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:

soman on 2005-09-05 07:25:28
Re: Southern Brother
Good job, Kate.

Our own administration had achieved a world record by the superb clumsiness with which it handled the severe floods in Mumbai city last month. But of course USA has to be first in everything. So New Orleans steals Mumbai's thunder by setting a new record!



Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-10 13:10:35
Re: Southern Brother
Thank you, Sunky - I appreciate you reading and making such a nice comment.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-10 13:27:10
Re: Southern Brother
Thank you for a great comment, ld and I appreciate you having a little rant here - anytime!

'Nothing scientific about it' refers to the fact that the inequalities can be seen and felt clearly in this particular society (and others, as you've highlighted) - you don't have to look far beneath the surface to see it or make studies to glean empirical evidence.

Thank you very much for the lovely comments you have made - have a great weekend, littleditty!

Kat x


Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-10 13:29:48
Re: Southern Brother
Thank you, Nic! I really appreciate you reading, commenting and understanding my wee poem.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-10 13:33:19
Re: Southern Brother
Thank you very much for reading and commenting, soman. I hope that Mumbai city and its people are well on the road to a satisfactory recovery now.

All the best.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-09-10 13:52:47
Re: Southern Brother
Do Americans use the word Telly?

Nice to see you back posting Kitten, nice also i don't have to don my thread monitoring pants for this one.

Amazing an entire city the size of New Orleans has to be evacuated?

I'm not sure Katrina and the waves would be a popular act in the states at present.

Nice work
XX
Flashinleatherpantsbutdon'taskwhy.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-09-10 14:26:29
Re: Southern Brother
Hi Flashers (nice tight pants!)

You are a very astute reader and no, 'telly' wouldn't be commonly used by American people - TV would be used. BUT, I was writing in my voice as if in their voice and thought telly would be fine, but your highlighting of it makes me realise that...YOU'RE RIGHT!

Ooh...that didn't hurt at all.

Thanks a lot for popping in, Flashy.

Kat x

Author's Reply:


PANTOMIME DOCTOR (posted on: 08-07-05)
Names have been changed and disguises used. ๐Ÿ˜‰

PANTOMIME DOCTOR It's hard to believe that next year it'll be twenty years since I started nurse training. It wasn't a vocation for me. I kind of fell into it by default - and I don't regret it for a moment. I worked for two months as a care assistant before embarking on a three year course to become a Registered Mental Nurse. In August 1986 I slipped on a hideous orangey/yellowy uniform, tied back my wayward hair and prepared to inhale those distinct smells which herald 'hospital'. Though in the psychiatric hospital I was to be working, there was an overwhelming aroma of Zoflora which was used to mop around the toilets of the male ward I was based in. Twenty-eight patients over the age of sixty-five resided in Ward 11. It was a long stay ward where the only departure would be through death – and it wasn't depressing at all. It was great fun – full of characters you couldn't help but love. There was the aptly-named David Dickie – usually found with an erection and a big smile on his face. Sexual disinhibition can be a symptom of Korsakoff's psychosis - a form of dementia caused through alcohol abuse. Short-term memory loss is common, so in between frequent bouts of masturbation David would chain-smoke with the wish that he had one, big, never-ending cigarette. It wasn't easy having to keep the cigarettes under lock and key, and normally to a regime of one per hour and after meals, as the cigarettes belonged to the patients. They had little else on offer to them in the way of activity or therapy. Mealtimes and medicine rounds punctuated their days like incessant commas. There'd be a lull then, in repetitive questioning and the smoke clouds would dissipate, but the nicotine still clung on to the nicotine on the nicotine walls. Hugh Harrismith was blind and also suffered from an alcohol-induced dementia. Every day he liked to be pushed in his wheelchair around the hospital grounds for his 'prescription' of fresh air, as he liked to call it. I often took Hugh out on his constitutionals and what a pleasure it was to whirl him around the beautiful Victorian gardens. We'd sit down for half an hour on a wooden bench overlooking the old orchard and Hugh would smoke as many of his cigarettes as possible. His small, spikey frame was an expected sight to the visitors and patients who passed and hollered their greetings. He looked so dignified with his speckled coat tucked high around his chin. His mouth would suck hungrily on his tobacco knowing it would have to be locked away again on return to the ward. I'll never forget the time when Hugh demanded in his best Glaswegian:      'Nurse, when am I gettin' ma fresh air?' and was met with,      'I'm sorry, not today, Hugh. We're short-staffed.' He insisted on a word with the dickey-bowed psychiatrist,      'Good morning, Hugh. How are you today?'      'When am I getting' ma fresh air? It's on ma prescription!' The flabbergasted psychiatrist juggled a batch of medical notes from one hand to the other in a stalling technique to find an inspired reply. But Hugh beat him to it with an emphatic,      'Pah! You're a fuckin' pantomime o' a doctor!' and curled back up in his chair. Jackie McBean was another lovely person. He had cerebral palsy and some behavioural problems. His single room housed his electric wheelchair which was charged overnight. The charge nurse, who was all bounce and enthusiasm, had shown me how to wash and dress Jackie in the morning and then transfer him to his wheelchair. The easiest way to manoeuvre the chair was by sitting in it yourself and gently pushing the joystick in the right direction. What laughs Jackie and I would have as he watched me stutter over to his bed with all the grace of a dodgem driver. His contracted hands would punch the air and I don't think I've ever seen a larger smile on anyone's face. I would pick up his hairbrush and ask if it was his toothbrush. I'd walk beside him down to the dining room for breakfast, grinning almost as much as he was. Helping to shave men who could no longer manage themselves wasn't always straightforward, though I became a fairly dab hand. There might have been the odd tuft of tissue paper projecting from a slight nick, which was quite an achievement when you had to master the art of doing deft (and quick) upward strokes over the throat, while the person drew breath between questions:      'Where am I?'      'You're in hospital.' Couple of upward strokes.      'Who are you?'      'I'm a nurse and I'm here to help you.' Couple more upward strokes.      'Where's my fags?'      'In the cupboard. I'll get them for you after breakfast.' Apply tissue to small cut.      'Where am I?' Sometimes you would have to dodge wandering hands and deflect suggestive comments. It was inappropriate behaviour to be handled in a non-judgemental and non-inflammatory way – leaving the offenders with their dignity intact. A sense of humour was a prerequisite! There were a few patients who were simply in hospital owing to the effects of institutionalization – the fact that they wouldn't be able to cope in the community with 'normal' life. One person, David Jameson, had no signs or symptoms of illness but was suffering from feelings of depersonalization and the effects of forty years as an inpatient. He was one of several that I knew who had apparently been shipped to the mainland from the Orkney Islands, for incarceration after minor offences such as plundering apples – I think David stole a pig. They had been handcuffed and tied together on the sea crossing. David was my very favourite person there. His shuffling, stumbling gait and monosyllabic speech was endearing. Not to mention his shy, cute smile, though he was a bit whiffy owing to his habit of scavenging in dustbins around the hospital grounds, and it would seem wrestling with the pigs for their pigswill! His catchphrase was,      'Gie's a fag!' It appeared to be his longest sentence. David was luckier than many others on the ward as he could come and go as he pleased. The hospital shop was one of his regular haunts - for single ciggies. I remember teasing him one day, saying that I'd give him money for a cigarette if he'd tell me I was the nicest nurse he'd ever met.      'You're the nicest nurse I've ever met!' boomed out of his huge smiling face which exhibited a few stumpy yellow teeth. I think the mid to late eighties was a good time to be in health care. A lot of innovative ideas were being instigated and the old-style institutions were being reformed and renovated. Quality of care was important and we were all striving desperately to achieve it while keeping the needs of the patients uppermost. Overlap in shift changeovers meant there was time to be with patients and chat with them or take them out for walks or to a local coffee shop. Optimism bubbled. But the bubbles burst with the changes to shift patterns that were brought in, to lessen the overlap and make the service more cost-effective – and at what cost to whom? Cleaning services were put out to tender and cheap labour was always going to mean a reduction in standards as domestic staff struggled to clean sometimes two wards owing to high absenteeism. Lack of effective equipment and proper cleaning fluids did not augur well, and twenty years later we have super bugs like MRSA and a huge budget having to be spent on Infection Control Nurses, microbiologists and education and training for staff. There is no longer staff overlap allowing time to be spent with patients like Hugh. Basic needs are barely being met and these are only the physical needs of washing, dressing, feeding and medicating. Psychological, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs are haphazardly dealt with – and that's a sin, in twenty-first century psychiatric hospitals. Our nurses may be able to use computers, write care plans, operate technical gizmos and be overladen with diplomas and degrees, but can they actually nurse?     
Archived comments for PANTOMIME DOCTOR
Hazy on 2005-07-08 11:31:15
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
A very interesting, insightful article, Kat. Well written.

Hazy x

Author's Reply:

niece on 2005-07-08 12:26:09
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
Dear Kat,
What a lovely read! We have one such character at home ourselves and he is just adorableโ€ฆmost of the time! Even my kids have learnt to humour him. And you are right, mere physical attention alone is not enough at that age and for that condition.
Regds,niece


Author's Reply:

LenchenElf on 2005-07-08 12:53:56
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
Beautifully, sensitively written. You let the relationships be your best witness for what has been lost. Thank you for sharing this excellent piece Kat.
all the very best
LEx

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-08 14:35:01
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
Thank you, Hazy. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-08 14:36:20
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
Thank you, niece! Your comments are very much appreciated.

All the best to you.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-08 14:38:07
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
Thank you for a very encouraging response, LE - very much appreciated!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-07-08 14:51:01
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
This is a wonderful piece of writing Kat and so very true. My youngest has been a general nurse and a midwife in hospital and out in the community, but was so disillusioned with the state of things. She now runs a genetic screening clinic for pregnant women. Thanks for highlighting a serious problem in our society today. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-08 15:12:07
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
That's a great comment, Val - thank you! I wish your daughter all the best in her work.

It's so sad that this is the case, that people have become so disillusioned - yes, they're trying to throw money at the health service but they are not addressing the 'culture'. There are of course pockets of excellence, but it's still an awfie hit or miss for people.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-07-11 12:00:24
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
Hey Kat - we do our jobs for the meeting (and care) of the wonderful characters you have so gently and vividly described, no? The health service -schools -we always face similar issues and demands - try to face them to avoid the expense of patient/student 'care'. What happened to us lot joining together and 'asking' for what we know is needed? Divide and rule by overwork -seems to have worked very well ๐Ÿ™ ...as does your story -a real pleasure to read -ta Kat x littleditty

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-11 15:05:16
Re: PANTOMIME DOCTOR
What a great comment, ld - thank you!

Yep, teaching and health caring are troubled with the same albatrosses around their necks - which is so terribly sad when we all need education, and certainly good and effective, not to mention timeous health care, when necessary.

Thank you again, and also for popping me into your favs list - very much appreciated (and encouraging!)

Kat x

Author's Reply:


REGAL (posted on: 04-07-05)
Written for a dear friend...

It's how some really are - pandemic, waltzing through dimensions like only mystics can. Highlighting the ordinary with tremendous dexterity. Illuminating the common people - showing us the smooth steps demonstrating an acceptance which dazzles when we realise the crown of true glory.
Archived comments for REGAL
tai on 2005-07-04 12:09:22
Re: REGAL
You know what they say about friends Kat! like attracts like. Excellent work. You say it all so succinctly. A favorite and a nomination from me.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-04 13:02:20
Re: REGAL
Dear Tai

Thank you very much for pressing every button possible when you popped in here! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I really appreciate your lovely comment and you've fair put a big smile on my face.

All the best and thanks again!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-07-04 13:04:24
Re: REGAL
wow..........so cool.....(in a warm way) ............................that's all. x littleditty xxx

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-07-04 13:14:13
Re: REGAL
Nice one Kat.. Bet your friend thought so too. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-04 13:35:46
Re: REGAL
That's a great comment, ld, thank you!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-04 13:36:50
Re: REGAL
Cheers Val! I really appreciate you commenting.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-07-04 14:31:04
Re: REGAL
Hi Kat,

Great write for your friend.

And I'm glad that its been nominated...if not then I would have.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-04 14:38:06
Re: REGAL
Thank you, Si! Much appreciated.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-07-04 22:13:52
Re: REGAL
Kat, Some people just have it don't they? lol.
Nice one...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-04 22:28:00
Re: REGAL
You're right, Gerry - some people do...

Thank you very much for popping by!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

LenchenElf on 2005-07-06 18:55:17
Re: REGAL
what a glowing tribute to a friend, a lovely piece Kat
all the very best
LEx


Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-07-06 23:36:43
Re: REGAL
Kat, I really liked "It's how some really are - pandemic, waltzing through dimensions like only mystics can" I said wow when I read these lines. And then I also liked a lot "the crown of true glory".
Sincerely, N.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-07 00:45:14
Re: REGAL
Thank you, LE - I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-07 00:46:38
Re: REGAL
Hi Wolfie

You really are the man of many tongues! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you for a lovely comment.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-07 00:48:51
Re: REGAL
I really appreciate you popping in and commenting on the bits you liked, Apolloneia - thank you!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-08 06:20:46
Re: REGAL
Kat,

What a fantastic piece of poetry..... Love this to my toe nails......... beautiful!!!!!!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-08 06:37:53
Re: REGAL
Thank you, Jolen - that's a great comment which I love to my er...fingernails!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 16-11-2006
REGAL
Sounds like you know an avatar! I read this in the anthology, the idea of someone as a pandemic, a good virus like love spread by your freind is fantastic. Great. Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Hi Dazza

Didn't know you'd commented (no notifications just now) so apologies for the delay. Perhaps he was an avatar, you say? Perhaps indeed... he was a very dear Indian gentleman who certainly spread his wonderful wisdom and friendship. Thanks for popping in.

Kat x


EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR (posted on: 20-06-05)
This is an oldie which seemed to make sense at the time... Does anyone else write poetry that they don't really understand themselves either? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Everything is metaphor l-i-n-k-i-n-g Fire earth water and air and God Yin and Yang? Who gives a damn Life - Man - Art How tedious is art? Like man is to life As Life is to man Everything is metaphor Parable - analogy What's the point Of any new slant? Just say can't! What can't or cant? Everything is metaphor So similar the similes As like is to like Like as is to as Everything is metaphor
Archived comments for EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
littleditty on 2005-06-20 08:21:34
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Dear Kat - makes sense to me - should i be concerned at all? .....should you be...? oh dear! Is metaphor just plain old magic, symbolic magic ? magical, when it makes you happy - but when Art is 'Tedius' - oo, shiver me timbers, that's depressed. I liked this poem of yours - thanks - littleditty x

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-06-20 08:49:00
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Hi Kat, I'm following litteditty today!lol I agree Everything is metaphor and thank the lord for poets like you to express everything, so wonderfully. All seemed perfectly clear to me.

Smiling

Tai

Author's Reply:

chrissy on 2005-06-20 09:18:41
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Most of the stuff I wrote in my teens and twenties is lost to me now in a purple haze of some chemical substance or other, so I know what you mean about writing stuff that you can't truly associate with. But and it's a big BUT I thought this was great. It's clever and humorous and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
chrissy

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-20 10:21:11
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
(Dear Kat - 'Tai is perhaps muddled - i am also quite possibly following her...;) - *it's the signs*....*the signs*......now look what your poem has done...;)) xxx (sorry - bit silly, sillier today xld) x

Author's Reply:

LenchenElf on 2005-06-20 12:16:43
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Big smile, yes it can be like that, Nice piece Kat
all the best
LE

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-06-20 12:27:34
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Makes perfect sense to me, glad someone else has sussed it! ((-; Great poem Kat. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 12:30:15
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
What a great comment, ld - thank you for giving me a very insightful understanding of this poem! ๐Ÿ˜‰

All the best.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 12:34:31
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
You're stalking little ditty? ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you for a great comment too, Tai - you're very kind and I'm tickled (ooh, er).

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 12:37:23
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Hehe - I think silly is the new 'magic'! You discovered that revolving door didn't you, ld? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 12:38:54
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Thank you Chrissy! I really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 12:41:26
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
You guys are great - thank you for reassuring me. Perhaps I do live in my own tree, but you folks are possibly in the same orchard? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Cheers LE!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 12:43:10
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Thank you dear Val! It's great to have you on my side with this one.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-20 12:48:24
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Hehe - Kat? Come now? 'Silly' was so last season...;) Do you think it's making a come back? How MARVELOUS!
*revolving door? Well..........i've always been a bit dizzy....and dotty.........zzzzzzzzzzz*
Cheers Kat - have a great day lxd

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 12:56:43
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
*big grin* You too, ld!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-20 16:21:11
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Oh damn! I must have this poetry malarkey wrong. I thought we weren't meant to understand or make any type of sense at all out of it... well I don't with my attempts...

Enjoyed this one. Very thoughtful. ;^)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 23:17:15
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Cheers lovely Claire!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-06-20 23:52:02
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Hi Smitten Kitten Mitten


What is the Metaphor? For reading the gas and the electricity silly.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I thought it was Ying and Yang?

xx
Flashpoppinguplikeajackintheboxbutwithnothingusefultosay

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-21 00:29:50
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Hehe - you, with nothing useful to say? Now that would be ridiculous (knickerless Flashy)...Well, I noticed you weren't wearing any Flashypants on this visit. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Toodle pip!

Kitten x



Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-06-21 21:04:03
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Kat, do not worry about not making sense. You are a woman, it is expected ๐Ÿ˜‰ Nice poem, though it did make me think too much, that is never a good thing for man of such low stooping. Eat pretzels (whatever they are)

s
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-22 00:21:28
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Ooh yes, I do like a pretzel in and out! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you for popping in with a wee comment and some good nutritional advice, as always.

Cheers Mr Munky

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Warhorse on 2005-06-23 07:59:43
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Kat,

Don't worry about making sense, its you own expression of some idea you had at the time,

To somebody it will strike a chord and thats that.

Your rhythm is good and it flows of the tongue nicely so well done.

Regards

Warhorse

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2005-06-23 09:44:35
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Kat, a very clever and enjoyable read.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-23 12:05:17
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Thank you for a reassuring and lovely comment, Warhorse!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-23 12:06:08
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Thank you Dargo!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

reckless on 2005-07-01 02:03:11
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
There's a lot of sense here, I find. How nothing can really be understood in its own terms but only in relation to something else, how things are therefore necessarily connected, and sometimes impossible to disentangle..... the pointlessness of analysis when in the end all we can do is to describe; but maybe that is enough, maybe the point is not to understand, but just to experience, at least it feels that way sometimes, with some things. I like your poem.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-01 02:21:45
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Cheers for your comment, reckless, and nice to meet you!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-07-05 05:12:45
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Kat,

yes I do write poetry that I often wonder what the hell I mean or it means. Sometimes I am not so sure it was really me writing it, but chanelling it. this was a great piece and I am glad you posted.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-07-05 05:25:55
Re: EVERYTHING IS METAPHOR
Cheers, Jolen - I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:


BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE (posted on: 17-06-05)
~~~

You're huge for a bee. Hovering around our balcony but only when it's thirty plus. I hear you first – your airfield sounds your undertowed tones then there you are. I carefully crane to watch you flit (we're three floors up) and wow! Three centimetres of the best blue - it's so you and as a dragonfly would you delight in flight - you're dynamic! Bluey, the wood bee.
Archived comments for BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
tai on 2005-06-17 11:57:36
Re: BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
Oh Yes Kat! Again, another spot on little number. I detect certain naughty undertones within your lovely wood bee muse!lol

Smiling deeply

Tai

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 14:50:07
Re: BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
Hi Tai

Thank you very kindly, and for rating if that was you (I've switched them off now - it's a pain they don't stay off).

Going to make a wee (bee) edit as well - gosh, I seem hard to please.

Thanks again - have a great weekend!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-06-17 20:26:07
Re: BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
Hate to say it Kat! but I think I preferred your first version. Had more of a zing to it.

Smiling

Tai,wishing you a happy weekend.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 20:57:44
Re: BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
Hehe - I zee! Can I keep the 10 though? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-06-19 17:57:18
Re: BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
I got stung by a bee once and ever since then I have had this craving for honey. People say it's nothing to do with being stung by said bee, but I like to think it is. It's like I'm a superhero or something. I may have a costume made up at the fancy dress place. Thanks. Oh, great ickul piece by the way. Eat honey, honey (-;

s
u
n
k
e
n



Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-19 21:09:21
Re: BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
Hi Sunky

Thanks a lot for flying in to leave a 'sweet' comment!

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-20 00:53:07
Re: BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
I hate bee's! They scare the shit out of me!

Any ways, cute poem hun. ;^)

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 01:19:17
Re: BLUEY, THE WOOD BEE
Ooh - you wouldn't like this one then, Claire! Thank you for giving this wee poem your time.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:


PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY (posted on: 17-06-05)
I think the title is longer than the poem... ๐Ÿ˜‰

You don't need the classics if you understand with childlike clarity the meaning of life.
Archived comments for PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
littleditty on 2005-06-17 09:40:54
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Big grin, of to play with play dough...x littleditty xxx

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-06-17 10:24:55
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Hey Kitten

I have a childlike mind...but nothing is clear to me.

:-0(


Flash

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-06-17 11:51:39
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
So True Kat! A perfect 10 from me.

Smiling childlike!lol

tai

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-06-17 12:19:13
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Kat I agree--but everyone should read Oliver Twist.

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 15:01:43
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Doh! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thanks for poppong in ld - have fun!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 15:05:43
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Ooh - eh, did I mention you have to be female too? ๐Ÿ˜‰ It's the way we can keep an open mind! (I'm only teasing Flashers).

I don't see much wrong with your mind - not that I've had you on the couch recently!

Thanks for reading.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 15:07:27
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Tai, nothing is more perfect than you popping in with your 10's before I've switched the ratings off! I thank you kindly for making me smile too.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 15:08:35
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Cheers Gerry! Thanks very much for reading and commenting.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-17 18:22:18
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Hhhhmmmmm... from the view of a child everything seems much simpler.

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-17 19:40:07
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
DER ๐Ÿ˜‰ I meant DOH - or TOE - sorry ld xxx

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 21:00:54
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
...and clearer! Thanks for popping in Claire.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 21:02:44
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
...I just meant 'Doh!' a la Homer Simpson...Cheers ld!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 2005-06-17 21:35:13
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
I tried, Kat, but it was as clear as mud.
Oh well, back to the classics.
As for the poem, very concise and to the point.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-17 21:46:02
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Thank you Luigi! All the best.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Corin on 2005-06-18 11:24:36
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Which is, my child?

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-18 12:16:01
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Good point...I think. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Kat

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-06-19 14:45:26
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Oh Kat this is great.. If only we didn't have to grow up, things would be so much easier. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-19 21:11:05
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Hi Val

Thank you kindly for popping in - very much appreciated!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

sirat on 2005-06-19 21:35:09
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Well, children are very much inclined to ask philosophical questions, but I wonder if they have a clear understanding of the "meaning of life". I think you could argue that childhood is very much a time of confusion and lack of clarity: Daddy, why doesn't God help sick people? Daddy, if God made the world who made God? Daddy, where was I before I was born? Daddy, why am I me and not somebody else? Daddy, how do I know I'm not inside somebody else's dream? ...and so on. I don't really subscribe to the idea that there is some secret ANSWER that we know when we are young but forget when we get older. I think I've been nearly equally confused all my life (though it has got a little worde with age).

Author's Reply:

sirat on 2005-06-19 21:37:16
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
"worse with age", that's supposed to read. See, I told you things weren't improving.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-19 21:48:19
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Hi sirat

Great to read your comments which I very much agree with.

I guess my point with this is that (generally speaking) we come into the world 'untarnished', 'innocent' and with brains ready to soak up knowledge. To me (in life) there IS a kind of secret answer - 'being good'/ being the best that we can be.

That's the simplest way I can put it and I hope that makes some kind of sense. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Thanks for popping in.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚



Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-19 21:50:06
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
I don't believe you for a moment! *big grin*

Kat

Author's Reply:

AnthonyEvans on 2005-06-19 21:55:23
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
maybe not, but the classics need you. sweet little poem. best wishes, anthony.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-19 22:01:11
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
That's a great comment Anthony, and how right you are!

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-20 01:48:30
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Hey? That's my secret answer too ๐Ÿ˜‰ Why is it such a secret? xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-20 02:03:58
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Hehe - hello ld! Glad to hear it's your secret answer too, and I won't tell a soul. ๐Ÿ˜‰

To my mind, I think it's perhaps such a secret because people don't realise 'the simplicity' of the secret. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Children seem to see things simply and clearly - like they've been stamped with imprints (that already contain the knowledge, and thus the secrets!).

Thanks for popping in again!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

woodbine on 2005-06-22 07:36:45
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Dear Mrs Kat,
I think I subscribe to the Sirat school of thought. They told me so many 'fibs' about grumpy old men in white beards running the show. And storks dumping babies. And everything coming right if you only believed/did what you were told, that anyone turning up hoping for nuggets of gold from Mrs Shaw's little lad would have come home bitterly disappointed.

Best wishes, John

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-22 13:01:54
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Great comment too, John...and there's not much wrong with the sirat school of thought! ๐Ÿ˜‰ But I certainly wouldn't advocate 'if you only believed/did what you were told'.

Belief/faith/positive thinking is good, but 'did what you were told' is that naughty horrible 'controlling' part which is highly undesirable.

Thanks again.

Mrs Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 2005-06-23 08:50:31
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Ever put your hand on a profoendus? Even then you can feel something you lost the day some doctor smacked your butt. This is my kind of poem, slick and tiny, Dazza.

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-06-23 11:50:08
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
It IS 42, isn't it? That's me finished if it's not - a whole life's belief wasted... Yes, a child sees with utmost clarity, and as we age it all gets muddier. Maybe we should clean our specs more often...sorry, didn't mean to sound flippant. Okay, I did, but I liked this. Multum in parvo - howzat, then? Classical, too....

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-23 11:59:54
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
...My hand, no! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you dear Dazza for popping in and giving this your time.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-23 12:03:16
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Ooh, are you referring to the age I will be later this year? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Thanks a lot for reading and commenting Roy - much appreciated.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-29 15:30:27
Re: PHILOSOPHER'S PROFUNDITY
Wolfie, lovely to have been some kind of source of inspiration for you (I think!)

Was it deep? Oh yes - it filled me with great angst! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Kat x

Author's Reply:


RALEIGH CHOPPER (posted on: 13-06-05)
~~~

Side-saddling the frame of my orange Raleigh chopper, carefully avoiding the gear stick, I looked up at my grandad peddling and steering me to delirium – what fun! My brother flanking on his Tomahawk we were off on a mission to the local cemetery again. Through the housing scheme we launched on a summer's eve to the gritty country lane our embarkation point - into another dimension away from breeze-blocked uniformity and footballs ricocheting off walls. We trundled intrepidly grandad's legs like pistons his wide smile echoing the joys of his youth, my brother rocketing on ahead in bursts, waiting up and panting and smiling and I was exuberant I had it all, my orange Raleigh chopper the evening sun like a shawl. And we were smiling until we passed the slaughterhouse our noses wrinkling to shut out the reek of pigs and pig swill and death. We'd rest on reaching the cemetery, as you do looking reverently around… then back, retracing our tracks, an evening chill god-speeding us – homeward bound to happy days.
Archived comments for RALEIGH CHOPPER
Flash on 2005-06-13 10:43:52
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Hi Kitten

It's all fond reminisce or porn in the subs it seems today Kitten, and you wrote 'Chopper,' in your poem...*giggles.*

Anyway i remember having a Red Chopper for a while...but i hardly ever rode it cos i wanted one called The Panther which was the black evil version of the Chopper...i was sweet child by the way, just incase you were wondering.

Bloody hell i'm getting worse than Sunky talking bollox...your poem, the last line in the penultimate stanza. i don't know why but pigs and pig in quick succession don't sound quite right to me.

'of pigs and pig swill and death.'

I know you're a clever thing, and you'll shoot me down with an erudite explanation of why it's written that way, but i was just curious as to why... a bit like my cats are really...nosey.


xx
Flash




Author's Reply:

Dazza on 2005-06-13 11:41:30
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
What a great image of you getiing doubled by your Grandad on a chopper! If you still have it they are worth a mint! Great free and easy read with a Summery lightness we all deeply love. Dazza.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-13 14:57:18
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Hi oh Flashy one!

Erudite, moi? Mais, not at all!

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - I didn't know there was one called 'The Panther' - I believe the bikes are well and truly back (collector's items and all that).

The 'piggy' bit you mentined: I think I just like a bit of repetition now and again and it was kind of in the child's voice. I said: I think I just like a bit of repetition: I think I just like a bit of repetition.

Thanks again Flash - may the force be with you and your chopper!

Kat ๐Ÿ˜‰

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-13 14:59:09
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Ah, that's a lovely comment dazzling Dazza - I thank you very kindly.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

uppercase on 2005-06-13 15:22:15
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Wonderful memories of your childhood. I could picture it as I read on and loved every word of it...love Erma

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-13 15:34:19
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Thanks a lot Erma - I really appreciate you commenting.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-06-15 11:42:42
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Some lovely memories here Kat. My Kind of poem. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-15 15:28:28
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Thank you Val!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

jay12 on 2005-06-16 03:34:04
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
I remember choppers from my childhood, back then though it was there second coming. They'd come back into fashion in the mid 80s for a while and kids who's parents had kept them from the 70s cleaned off the rust and recycled them!

A very nice read, thanks for reminding me of great summer days of my yoof!

Jay.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-16 04:25:47
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Thanks for commenting Jay! Yes, I'm a 'first coming chopper kinda girl/woman'. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-06-16 10:36:47
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Hi Kat, I enjoyed your little trip back in time. Such treasured memories.

All the best

Tai

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-16 15:41:20
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Thank you lovely Wolfie for a great comment. Eh, I had my birthday suit on underneath my clothes - does that count?

Take care.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-16 15:43:17
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Thank you Tai-ger! I've always wanted to call you that - it's a compliment! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Gerry on 2005-06-16 21:57:35
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Kat, I was with you all the way--you painted a nice picture...

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-16 22:30:23
Re: RALEIGH CHOPPER
Thank you Gerry!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:


IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND (posted on: 06-06-05)
~~~

It's like quicksand but slower, insidious, devious, manipulative – the sucking, smothering with gritty ripostes, questions not asked - no interest in my 'good' life. Is it possible for a father? Is it possible he could be jealous, resentful, of my escape - from sheep city, from drudgery our history? A fleeting visit is enough to glimpse the ongoing familiar familial drama. Then I can flee (again) from misery's grip and the brand of martyrdom I hate.
Archived comments for IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
tai on 2005-06-06 14:21:17
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
I hate visiting relatives too Kat!lol Great little poem. I'm afraid you are right on the button with your assumptions. Family can be the worst when it comes to jealousy....I should know, I have nothing, other than my lovely boys and our health. Not even a hubby any more, and yet being the eldest of 6, 3 of which are girls, only one bro speaks to me now. And one sister I have just forgiven the unforgivable, so my boys can have a family and see her kid.

I am very happy of your escape though, keeping my fingers crossed (if I could)! it might happen to me one day.

Smiling hopefully!lol

Tai

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-06 14:28:01
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Dear Tai

I thank you very kindly for your comment. Loved your pic by the way!

Thank you also for the self-disclosure which I appreciate.

It's a sad state of affairs that 'family' can sometimes be 'detrimental to your health.' I've tried my best to help out and understand with the various difficulties but it hasn't got me very far and I'm treated as if 'what do you know, you don't live here anymore.'

Thanks again dear Tai.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

LenchenElf on 2005-06-06 22:49:03
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Powerful and well written, thanks for sharing this kat
all the best
LE

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-06 22:59:20
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Cheers LE - really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

uppercase on 2005-06-07 00:16:24
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
I guess all familys are like mine after all..I like this poem...Erma

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-07 00:29:26
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Hi Erma

Thank you kindly for commenting.

I know there are lots of happy families out there as well as the not so happy ones and all the others that fit somewhere in between.

Happiness (to my mind) is something to be seized and worked for - it doesn't tend to just fall in your lap.

You reassure me with your comment as I know I am perhaps voicing the infrequent experience or even the unspoken experience.

I look forward to catching up with your latest 'Will' story soon.

Thanks again.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚



Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-07 13:35:27
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
*spies Wolfie naked* AAAAAAhhhhhh...it can't be possible can it?

*lightens up*

You always cheer me up Mr Shy.

Kat ๐Ÿ˜‰

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-06-07 14:54:35
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
I can empathise with a lot there, is it a Scottish or a northern thing i wonder?

My dad was a dour old tosser, who moved from the relative nirvana of provincal Aberdeenshire down with mum to the characterless flat lands of the industrial east midlands of England.

He always seem to not quite be in the right place, grouchy, morose, jealous and seldom happy.

I remember him berating me indirectly to my mother once, saying that he thought i was of the opinion i was better than them.

Perhaps if he'd never made the decision to move, he might have been a hapier man.

Nice work Kitty.

xx
Flash

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-07 15:24:59
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Hi Flash

I really appreciate you commenting on this as I felt a bit 'out on a limb' with these ? atypical feelings/impressions.

I can't blame Scotland or the north for my dad as he's originally from the south west - Devon, though I know he does NEED the sunshine (a bit like me). And he's just like his dad though my grandad was like a surrogate dad to me - I was very close to him and my gran.

My dad does seem to have a wee chip on his shoulder about me and I'm not really sure why, and it's very hurtful. A nicer daughter I don't think he could have. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Thanks a lot for commenting and sharing - at least I'm not alone eh?

Kitten x

Author's Reply:

Slovitt on 2005-06-07 23:49:09
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Kat: You've offered up in 18 lines the history of a relationship; a portrait of a father, and a full-faced view of the daughter, glimpsed through the words she has written. And you close your poem with what seems to be becoming a trademark stinger

and the brand of martydom
I hate.

A good poem. Swep

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-08 02:55:56
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Thanks very much Swep - 'trademark stinger' - I like that - it must be the Scorpion in me!

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ˜‰

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2005-06-08 09:07:05
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Kat, love the way you cover the subject matter. Very well written and something many will relate to.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-08 15:20:46
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Thank you Dargo! I really appreciate your comments and thank you for putting me in your cocktail cabinet. ๐Ÿ˜‰

All the best.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-08 15:58:26
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
'...we must never rise to conquer, just hold our own.' (Gothicman)

That is such a great statement Trevor and how I agree with it. Thank you for your considered, wise words. Always lovely to hear from you.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-08 21:41:45
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Yup, family members are a bloody pain sometimes, well most of the time. I definitely felt as if I was being suffocated in quicksand the other week when I had quite a few members staying with me! Great poem hun.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-09 01:43:59
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Cheers Claire - I really appreciate you commenting.

I know you had a tragic loss in your family recently and you mentioned (I think) you had family staying with you, etc. You'd think that at such times (and in my case) the fact that we don't see each other often, would be conducive to 'happy times' and dare I say, rejoicing. But, oh no, that would be The Waltons I guess and not reality. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Thanks again Claire.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-06-09 19:14:49
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Oh how I can relate to this. And what a fantastic analogy....... Well done my dear Kat..... I enjoy your writing a great deal..

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-09 19:25:52
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Blessings, right back at ya, Jolen! Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-06-09 20:17:49
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Another fine poem Kat with some more very searching observations, Top marks from me. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-10 01:03:14
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Thank you dear Val! I always love it when you drop in.

Cheers

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-10 17:22:36
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
I have read this a few times. Like the honest voice - and reminds me of one of littleditty's pals - BEEP BEEP - Roadrunner, who wouldn't have stayed long enough to see/feel the question you ask here. ( He hasn't been around recently - i'm trying to, you know - face things...) However - envy etc - can be so distructive - so BEEP BEEP! Nice one Kat - littleditty x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-10 17:47:51
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Hi ld

I thank you very much for your comments. It really is intriguing this envy/jealousy thing, especially when it comes from friends/family.

It's such an anathema to me as I am always glad and happy when nice things happen to people I care about, especially when I know things haven't been easy for them. My life has been far from a bed of roses, but I'm not moaning about it, I'm taking action to make my own 'good' life and to find/grab happiness.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment and I wish you all the best with your ACME situation. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-11 09:27:15
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Yeah - me too. (Is that a typo and you are wishing me well with my ACNE ? - then thanks Kat - otherwise - sorry i'm thick - wot?: ) littleditty x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-11 14:00:24
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Hehe - it was just my wee aside about the 'beep beep - road runner' - ACME always seemed to be the name of the company he was using, and of course the products were always backfiring or something.

Have a lovely weekend!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-11 14:50:58
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Oh..................................................................................... *climbs back on ............................. chair* ............................................... *wipes tears from eye*...THAT, may well be a very very funny comment you made Kat! ๐Ÿ™‚ x

You too - have a lovely weekend
littleditty ๐Ÿ˜‰ x

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-06-11 16:01:23
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Top writing Kat, just wonderful.

If you had ratings I would give a 10, instead you will have to make do with me saying...GREAT!

Si:-)

PS I would have given you a 10 and this comment as well...blah...blah...blah...I'll shut up now.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-11 17:09:19
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Thank you very much Si - that's very kind of you.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-06-11 22:08:49
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Hey Kat, i really liked your poem..... enjoyed it alot too..... keep it up....
take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoEt...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-11 22:35:18
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Thanks a lot BP - I look forward to seeing some more of your work!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Griffonner on 2005-06-12 15:26:57
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Oh so sad... so sad that you've disabled rating. I wanted to give this 100! I understand so well the thoughts that went into this, I empathise so much - though it has to be said that my father departed over 25 years ago and he was a relative darling. You really do deserve rating, Kat. You're the tops with me, anyway! *big grin*

Kind regards, Griffonner

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-12 15:33:00
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Dear Griffoner

Thanks for such a lovely comment! I always prefer to have the ratings off, and I don't give them, because I find the comments more useful and valid.

I've been very pleasantly surprised at the amount of people that can empathise with this, so I guess I'm not such an orphan after all...or are we all orphans? And of course, I'm not technically an orphan, but...

Thanks again Griffoner - really appreciated.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

AnthonyEvans on 2005-06-12 17:03:53
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
kat, i've read this a few times and now a million and one people have commented and said it all. well, i loved the opening image - 'i'ts like quicksand but slower' - it set things up nicely. and as swep says, that end is a really good one. best wishes, anthony.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-12 17:15:18
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Thank you dear Anthony!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-12 23:22:32
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Hi again Griffoner!

Thank you very much for making this a fav - I really appreciate you taking the time.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Enzo on 2005-06-22 12:16:30
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
"All happy families are alike but an unhappy family is unhappy after its own fashion"

Wonderful poem Kat. I'm pretty new and just having a whistle-stop tour of people's work. This was a great place to start.

Ben

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-22 12:56:49
Re: IT'S LIKE QUICKSAND
Cheers for reading and commenting, Ben and a huge welcome to UKA! I look forward to seeing more of your work around.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

CleanMan on 27-11-2005
IT
This is great Kat. It is sad when we feel more at home with friends than our own family. You evoke your feelings well in this very succinctly but with great clarity. Well done.

Author's Reply:
Hi CM

Many thanks for reading this and commenting - much appreciated.

Kat :o)


FOR CHRIS (posted on: 03-06-05)
~~~

I love you because you let me fly insist that I fly watch me soar high beyond the sky with a face like Mandela.
Archived comments for FOR CHRIS
Flash on 2005-06-03 08:03:37
Re: FOR CHRIS
Awwwww, dats a dead nice poem Kitty.


Glad you're happy and able to express it so openly.


xx
Flash

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-06-03 11:23:45
Re: FOR CHRIS
Kat that is soooo sweet. ((-;
Love Val x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-06-03 12:05:20
Re: FOR CHRIS
proves what good stuff good love is - happy poem Kat, or poignant - either way the good love speaks - like it..............littleditty x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-03 12:42:26
Re: FOR CHRIS
Thank you Flashy.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-03 12:43:20
Re: FOR CHRIS
Hehe - thanks Val.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-03 12:45:01
Re: FOR CHRIS
Thanks a lot ld - yes, 'good love' and that's the key eh? Thanks for commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-06-05 16:17:21
Re: FOR CHRIS
Ya know young Katatonia, it's so good to see that little is the new big. Ahhh yes, as I sit here by my window listening to the birds chirp (to be honest, far too loudly for my liking) and as I look down at my little member (yes, it is national nudist week ya know) I am relieved and somewhat touched to realise that 'little' is indeed, the new 'big' Thank you. I feel so much better now. I do hope that this comment finds you well and that you can use it's constructive content to an advantageous end. Thanks.

s
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k
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...wandering just who will take Billie Pipers place as the doctor's new time traveling companion....

and will she be as fit? I mean in an athletic way, as she will have much running to do. Thanks.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-05 18:03:13
Re: FOR CHRIS
Hello Sunky

Always lovely to see a 'wee' comment from you, knowing that in amongst the shrubbery, I am guaranteed to find a pearl/ball of wisdom. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I thank you kindly, Sir.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:


WOMANSLAUGHTER (posted on: 03-06-05)
This was topical a few weeks ago...

Today I gently rescued a tiny, beetly bug instead of squishing it in disgust without thinking. I'm learning. I admire Chris - he saves daddy-long-legs. He cranes them in Andrex and releases them over the threshold with the pride of a Creator. I heard today that two policemen had (allegedly) hoped a hypodermic user would be less trouble off their patch – she wasn't. They learned she died from hypothermia. She had no money, had been tripping – they'd dropped her five miles from home on an arctic night. Were they off-duty from caring?
Archived comments for WOMANSLAUGHTER
Flash on 2005-06-03 08:15:04
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Crikey two very contrasting halves to this poem, beginning with a light and funny section, and then quickly the transition into the horrific ending you decribe.

Someone said to me once, if you can get your reader to have feelings that contrast in the way you've done here, within the beginning and ending of a piece you've done something worthy of consideration.Does that make sense? Ihipe it does.

Anyway good stuff imo.

xx
Flash

Author's Reply:

bektron on 2005-06-03 10:00:49
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Kat I like this, a very powerful, even angry poem, yes- it is up to us to care for people and creatures who are in need,who are weak, who have made mistakes. Just because we have this innate ability to switch off our emotions (for whatever reason)doesn't mean we should exercise it.
beks:)
*bug rescuer extraordinaire*


Author's Reply:

chant on 2005-06-03 10:50:02
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
much to admire in this. you pursue your theme of general care very effectively, moving from little to large. occasionally, i wondered about your choice of adjective. bugs are generally small. why mention the size of it? beetly bug ... reads to me as a bit like saying a horsey horse. would have preferred an adjective that didn't tell me what i kind of already knew. similarly, 'dark' night. thought 'cranes' a clever twist with the allusion to crane fly. 'They learned that' - maybe you can drop the 'that'? anyway, just a few thoughts about a very assured piece of writing.

Author's Reply:

Bradene on 2005-06-03 11:20:19
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Great piece Kat it begins in quite a gentle fashion.. the ending though is very dark and angry at what real life can be and very often is. Well written Kat. Love Val x

Author's Reply:

Hazy on 2005-06-03 11:44:41
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Wonderfully effective poem, Kat.

I quite like the beetly bug line. It adds a sense of naivety/childlike innocence to the beginning.

Hazy x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-03 12:48:45
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Thanks Flash for your great comment (have you been on a comments course recently?) ๐Ÿ˜‰

I really appreciate you popping in - have a lovely weekend!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-03 12:50:28
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Cheers for commenting beks and CONGRATS again for your success in the poetry comp - you are on a major roll!

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-03 12:52:15
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Thanks a lot dear Val - I look forward to catching up with some work here again over the weekend.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-03 12:54:03
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Cheers Hazy - thanks a lot for commenting - I think I like the 'beetly bug' bit too.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-03 13:06:25
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Chant, what great comments and suggestions you have made. I'm going to edit a wee bit now:

I'm going to keep 'beetly bug', as it was a beetly bug, and it was tiny as opposed to the bigger beetles I'm/we're used to seeing, and not all bugs are beetles (though I'm no expert); ๐Ÿ˜‰

I will get rid of the 'that' in stanza 4 - reading it just now it had already jarred with me;

I'm just going to omit 'dark'.

Thank you for taking the time to give me your thoughts which I appreciate very much.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚



Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-06-04 08:07:03
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Another topper most write young Katflap. I'd missed this in the news. You deal with the subject with great sensitivity, that will be the girl in you.

s
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k
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Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-04 13:44:00
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Thanks for popping in lovely Sunky and I appreciate your comment.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

RoyBateman on 2005-06-04 15:09:24
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Okay, I'm going to stray from the consensus here. (And I speak as one who's always rescued anything living if at all possible - I spent hours a couple of years ago hacking bricks out of an outside wall to get to a sparrow chick that had gone down the cavity - successfully, too!)
I read about this case, and in all fairness I don't think they could have foreseen the outcome. She was hardly penniless if she'd got enough money to buy drugs...sorry, no sympathy from me there at all, and I don't have to deal with what the coppers do on an everyday basis. I couldn't.
I've crossed the road to avoid drunks and druggies who looked as if they might be trouble, like any sensible person. If, later, something happened to them, I wouldn't have felt responsible in any way - because I wasn't. We all have to accept personal responsibility, and this case was indeed tragic - but I don't believe that I'd have done more in the circumstances. There, now you can go and vote 1 on all my posts for being an awful horrible person!

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-04 15:58:10
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Heavens Roy - your comment is great!

There's no way I could take it any other way, and I thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.

The poem asks a question and is meant to be food for thought and I'm not implying a right or wrong answer.

We all have the ultimate responsibility 'for ourselves', of course, but that can only really be effectively utilised when we are in our 'right minds'.

Public service professionals DO have a 'duty of care' - it's intrinsic to their job description. Exercising 'judgemental judgements' isn't very civilised really, is it?

And these policemen are now on trial for it...

Thanks again.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Dargo77 on 2005-06-04 16:29:55
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Kat, nice one. Enjoyed the way this was written.
Best regards,
Dargo

Author's Reply:

LenchenElf on 2005-06-05 12:26:24
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Enjoyed the ideas and style,I like the question of ethics and values embedded throughout, something I'm a fan of ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks for sharing Kat
all the best
LE

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-05 13:23:41
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Thank you LE - really appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-05 13:25:12
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Thanks Dargo - always lovely to hear from you.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-06-05 21:29:02
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Shocking ending to this piece, brilliant one hun.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-05 22:10:35
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Thanks a lot Claire - really appreciate you dropping by.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

uppercase on 2005-06-07 00:34:20
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Wow it's brilliant to say the least.....love Erma

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-07 00:43:34
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
You are very kind to pop in and make me smile, lovely Erma.

Cheers

Kat x

Author's Reply:

tai on 2005-06-07 01:04:58
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Hi Kat, you have highlighted two major health issues of our time, that if not properly and compassionately dealt with now, will lead to major Social Breakdown issues, with no-one left compus mentus enough to care one way or the other.

The quick fix those policemen allegedly took, will become normal routine, and is already, in some social professions I suspect.

Thanks for sharing, I love it.

Smiling

Tai



Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-07 13:32:14
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
I love your very 'learned' comment Tai - thank you for reading.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-06-07 17:41:39
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
hey Kat...this was good...kind of different i
think....really liked it...take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoEt...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-06-07 17:41:41
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
hey Kat...this was good...kind of different i
think....really liked it...take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoEt...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-07 18:26:31
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Cheers BP - appreciate you reading and commenting.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 2005-06-07 21:06:08
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Hi Kat. Sorry I didn't get round to comment sooner but I'm just catching up with the latest contributions. There's only one word that I'd like to say: BRILLIANT. Top marks from me.
All the best, Luigi.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-07 22:18:04
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Thank you for a lovely comment Luigi - you are too kind.

Cheers

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:

royrodel on 2005-06-16 04:38:46
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Does it make it any easier that we have someone to blame?

RODEL

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-06-16 05:22:50
Re: WOMANSLAUGHTER
Hi Roy

Don't think there's any mention or implication of anything being easy here, and the 'blame game' is never black and white.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Kat ๐Ÿ™‚

Author's Reply:


THE PINK FLUFFY SLIPPER THAT LIVED FOR A WHILE (posted on: 23-05-05)
Any suggestions/crit gratefully received. ๐Ÿ™‚

Imagine a Yeti's foot dipped in cochineal. Well, that's what I looked like, except my synthetic claws were a bit worse for wear. I'd been squashed into Ella's battered brown handbag (the one with the faulty gold clasp) for about a week. I was doubled up like a Chinese acrobat in amongst the usual suspects: a fusty-smelling Avon powder compact; a lipstick-smudged cotton hanky with an embroidered 'E' in one corner and a single American Tan stocking with a reinforced toe.      I was a Missing Item and number one on the most wanted list on the board in Sister Nicol's