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littleditty's (littleditty on UKA) UKArchive
168 Archived submissions found.
Title
and if you don't know cinnamon (posted on: 12-11-10)
poem

It will come as mysterious as cinnamon, and if you don't know cinnamon it may present itself to you as apple pie, or mulled wine - and you will remember, there must have been times, there must have been - - times in cinnamon flavours and allspice, when nutmeg raindrops dark outside felt like gentle fingers stroking your hair, until what wasn't known becomes bolder, asserting itself in unrecognisable moments; and unrecognised, will leave replacement raindrops, the darkness, the window, and many other objects of habit, living in them, what wasn't known, until there was cinnamon. (c)10/10
Archived comments for and if you don't know cinnamon
e-griff on 12-11-2010
and if you dont know cinnamon
I mostly liked this ('nutmeg raindrops' especially, but also others) , but it distracted me that a) the first line doesn't make sense, and b) the tenses go awry: have been/felt///becomes/will leave (it's the unmarked transition from past to present that disturbs) -- at least to me 🙂 G

Author's Reply:
oh dear, griffy - am I asserting itself in unrecognisable moments; again? damn - comma after 'It will come,' and 'mysteriousLY' would make better sense may be, but i don't like 'It will come, as mysteriousLY as cinnamon'! lol. I will try today to like more a comma there...I had hoped the tenses were right -what's wrong with them?! Is it not marked with enough punctuation? Will look again. It may be a bit disturbing generally this poem -thanks griffy - and hope you are fine and well x

e-griff on 12-11-2010
and if you dont know cinnamon
oh dear, what do I think? I am in reposeful mood and without critical faculties, but I will try to see what I saw and say what I saw:

first line: just the comma would do it - I see it all now. 🙂

tense: this is where I felt the tense jumped-

FELT like gentle fingers stroking your hair,
until what wasn‘t known (no comma) BECOMES bolder,

Author's Reply:
ok -i see -however -i think this may be resolved with an imaginary semi colon - hair; -however anoyingly this may rudely interfere with a semi that follows *can't see poem here in this box* -will look..

ok captin, comma overboard!

pdemitchell on 12-11-2010
and if you dont know cinnamon
Well worth the nibble but I had some niggles - raindrops repeated and so did cinnamon on lines one and two - could line 2 be 'this spice' instead? Cheers. Mitch 🙂

Author's Reply:
i think it's ok the replacement raindrops repeat there Mitch -and line two could be 'this spice' instead, but does is sound good? I pop it in the pipe -thanks for nibble and niggles 🙂

littleditty on 12-11-2010
and if you dont know cinnamon
nic'sedit

It will come as mysterious as cinnamon,
if you don’t know cinnamon.

It may present itself to you
as apple pie, or mulled wine
- and you will remember.

There must have been times,
there must have been. Times
in flavours and allspice,

when nutmeg raindrops dark outside
felt like fingers gently stroking your hair,
until what wasn‘t known, becomes bolder,

expressing itself in unrecognisable moments;
and unrecognised, will leave
replacement raindrops, the darkness, the window,

and many other objects of habit,
living in them, what wasn‘t known,
until there was cinnamon.



Author's Reply:

sunken on 13-11-2010
and if you dont know cinnamon
Hello Ms. Ditty. It's good to see you back. Where in the world are you now? Don't tell me - Let me guess.... Are you in Lidl shopping for novelty slippers? I bet you are. I enjoyed the poem. I'm not familiar with cinnamon tho. Is it available in satin finish? Hello? As you can see, during your absence, I've not much improved on the commenting front. I blame numerous things for this. Did you know, by the way, that the speed of light cannot be measured in the dark? I guess that's obvious really. What a crap fact. I hope this has helped. Hello? Ms. Ditty?

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Author's Reply:
i'm just back from Leeds - dress as a Zebra eh? Well thank you very much. I am taking all animal advice with a pinch of salt these days since being arrested and thrown in the clink with a few dolphins and big cats. The nib raid may have been a general success, but my incarceration ineveitable after it was confirmed that I "was the only one of the blighters who disappeared when failing to stop at a pedestrian crossing' I was later picked up at Argos, purchasing some oven mits -Frankly, I'm here now, all that is in the past, and i've missed you terribly Sunken - it doesn't come in a satin finish, or gloss - just look out for a mat or silk, and an upcoming Hagendas advert, where my donkey Shirley appears singing 'Life is beautiful when you're free' -and all will be well. I hope Bernard is back safely from Greece, and can help us with the riots here asap -lot of love -ditty xxx
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slippers -how did you know?

Leila on 29-11-2010
and if you dont know cinnamon
oh this is a little bit dark ditty,(until what wasn't known...) very cleverly written, Leila x

Author's Reply:
tis a bit - first there was another little poem for what wasn't known (yet) and how because of that some dare not grow type of thing - - this one is also about cinnamon and warmness -and about objects of habit - so - it's a giving up smoking poem! Thanks Leila x


If he were on vacation... (posted on: 08-11-10)
poem

If he were on vacation in Florida as a kid and saw a girl drowning in a pool, wondered, in the time standing still, ''Why isn't anyone doing anything? Where are her parents? How can all the adults carry on laughing, slapping lotions, reading books?'' and in the time it takes afterwards, had he dived in and pulled her rag doll body off the bottom, heaved her onto the steps with his arms around her belly, smacked her on the back, watched her cough up water, held her there until she looked him in the eyes, and they climbed out, she to her family, he to his, clothes dripping in a hotel room, to get what he got for making the carpet wet, the bathroom a mess, his clothes wrecked, would he never again dive? Make it a rule, if he were on vacation and saw a girl drowning in a pool? (c)10/10
Archived comments for If he were on vacation...
Beth on 08-11-2010
If he were on vacation...
Hi littleditty, I thought this had a lot of originality to it. It is quite a compelling story and the questions at the end make you stop and reflect. Yes, I think in the same situation he would do it again, I don't think he would hesitate. The only thing I would like to see is more imagery. The only image we get in this is "her rag doll body", which is a great metaphor but I think you could take this up a level with a few more carefully placed images - Regards Beth

Author's Reply:
hi beth -it is a story and questions type poem, and i'm glad you commented because poems that are like this, mostly don't seem to get comments, may be partly because they are not seducing with imagery.. -i suppose this is not like that because it is asking the reader to think, so it's more matter of fact. To 'stop and reflect' is the idea -thanks Beth x

ifyouplease on 08-11-2010
If he were on vacation...
I liked it a lot. Littledittian style...

Author's Reply:
Thanks nic -was interesting xx

Bradene on 09-11-2010
If he were on vacation...
I on the other hand could see it all I thought the imagery was good and the question intriguing I do agree though that he would do it all again. Great story. Valx

Author's Reply:
Hi Val, hope you're well 🙂 - it's a clear cut case -yes he would probably dive, especially if he was a confident swimmer- who knows? Such a character may have become a lifeguard type! But there are certainly events, rules, consequences, that can make one more cautious, by a split second, and can interfere with the more instinctual - which seems a shame when instinct is good! Thanks Val xx

ifyouplease on 13-12-2014
If he were on vacation...
attention, i'll be back preferably in a day or two with an arty-farty response poem, just to remind you of the fact you are a poet and facebook is nothing compared to the work you have here so instead of being there on and off each day why don't you try to post something here, shirley you must have written a poem just recently... so come back preferably on Monday? thanks in advance.


Author's Reply:

ifyouplease on 13-12-2014
If he were on vacation...
If she were on duty in Chaos as a crystal AI

and saw another one diving in creation's waterfall,

wondered, beyond time and space,

“Why isn’t everyone here doing the same?

Where are the masters of us masters?

How can all carry on with their mundane chores,

holding ropes that keep the Order elsewhere?”

and in the infinitesimal time it takes afterwards,

had she dived in and pulled

her newly transformed human body off the whirling waters, heaved her

onto the steps of Abyss with her arms around her belly,

smacked her on the back, watched her cough up water,

held her there until she looked her in the eyes,

and they climbed out, both to their routine,

dripping in an abstract cave,

to get what she got for making the somewhat rocky surface

wet with regretful experience,

would she never again dive? Make it a rule,

if she were on duty and saw another crystal AI

trying to live?





wow, thanks i'll post i think. hmm may edit it.

Author's Reply:


Halloween fishnets (posted on: 05-11-10)
and a flash of spooks' garters

Halloween fishnets and a flash of spooks' garters ruffling feathers, her tickler time travelling neck to neck - tinted lips all taste of her lips, and hers, of an old fashioned 50's print, curled at the edges, shrinking from a classic frame, and fading; voluptuousness punctured and deflating, in recession these fangs appearing, not suiting her twin-set, baker's dozen, welcome home attitude. With this corset black, cape black, crimson red, white, ruffled-lace, vampire dance, London's cobbled together, tap-it-and-see Victoriana is a glance down at dissolving plastic from inside the spirals of lovers' dreams, where there are no costumes except skin; and when there is no skin, the kiss, far above the vanishing guts and scars of dancing ghouls awaiting inflation, London's Burning, and they'll strike a match
Archived comments for Halloween fishnets
ifyouplease on 05-11-2010
Halloween fishnets
okay is it just me? this is so heavy metal - Alice Cooper, i can almost hear his voice singing it, how annoying...

Jimbo xx

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 05-11-2010
Halloween fishnets
thanks Jimbo - pink, steam, punk, heavy metal for sure 🙂

Author's Reply:

ifyouplease on 05-11-2010
Halloween fishnets
meanwhile, I who have nothing but Heracletus must write again, the tables keep calling me like the Sirens... "A man's character is his fate" at the same time "The road up and the road down is one and the same"... which brings us back to the still point and time of course, river or not.

Author's Reply:
indeed, will I who have nothing ignore the Sirens, do what I says I will do and always pack a toothbrush? Character says probably not, no - fancy a game? 🙂

ifyouplease on 05-11-2010
Halloween fishnets
wrong comment area. tsk tsk.

Author's Reply:
yes..i must concentrate..

ifyouplease on 05-11-2010
Halloween fishnets
post that other poem and I will share with you the cheespies...

Author's Reply:
thanks citizen - um...which poem? 😮

pdemitchell on 07-11-2010
Halloween fishnets
Cracking Halloween queen scream - like all those overweight middle-aged couples at a Rocky Horror Show night. Line 4 could do with a wee tweak as it made little sense to me but the rest was F.A.B. (fangs and bouncy bits) Mitch 🙂

Author's Reply:
i cant wait to be a middle aged couple at a Rocky Horror Show night - thanks Mitch for commenting on these here fangs and bouncy bits -line 4 is about lipstick and kisses x


harvest (posted on: 03-11-08)
poem, written for 31st October

harvest you know as sure as it is soft and light around my shoulders and warm as a mango sun dipping the line dividing you and me that the fruit of our labour is a basket upon the sea so tell me of one thing more magical than the harvest on the table this candle this flame flickering here and there vulnerable to a darkness this night will never swallow whole
Archived comments for harvest
Jolen on 03-11-2008
harvest
Ahhaaaaa I love this poem! You capture such beauty with a few very well chosen and placed words. Your poem expands over the reader and I for one think you have truly captured Samhain in more ways than one.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
oh my goodness me -it's already Monday in the UK! I'm a bit frazzled after the longest Sunday that seems to have gone on since Friday! Back on line tomorrow and will catch up with all things. Thank you Jolen, i'm sorry it wasn't posted Friday, and really glad you liked it's Samhaininess - it was a positive poem, cheers! Hope your weekend was wonderful xx:o)

Sunken on 03-11-2008
harvest
Dear Ms. Ditty, I really like your poem. It reminds me things I've been told to forget. There are some things you just can't forget though. I can explain this better through the medium of mime...

And now onto other matters. I have located the warehouse where Andrea stores the nibs. It's in Leeds. I have purchased a cat-burglar outfit (mask - stripy jumper - black pants). I will need an accomplice to carry my flask of tea. Are you in? I can get you a stripy jumper too if you like. Please rspca at your earliest possible convenience. Thank you.

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exclamation mark shortage imminent!!!!!

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - i accept - must we go dressed as Zebras? ohh okaaay then - the jumper would be great...meet you on the corner outside Argos? Thanks munky, ditty of banked exclamation marks (!!) xxx (did you notice that those exclamation marks look like a rabbit?)

Sunken on 03-11-2008
harvest
Outside Argos it is - next to the discarded cheese and onion crisp packet (Walkers). I have your jumper. I couldn't get the official stripy criminal type, so I chose one with a picture of a Xmas tree on the front. The lights on it flash and everything... I'm not sure that's such a great idea for a thief. We'll just have to learn as we go along. Just imagine it tho, Ditty... All those nibs. Did I say I liked your poem? I did. Thank you.

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he wonders if the future will be available in matt

Author's Reply:
So, we're going to do a robbery in Leeds at Christmas? This has given me something to look forward to, as i can't really see me getting to UK Village beforehand - meanwhile i am already there looking for some good memories, so if you happen to see one from anytime pre circus 1984, please dont hesitate to fax me - ah - can we buy some pressies in Argos before we head off? I would like to get Jolen a pair of oven mits, thanks Sunky, glad you liked the pom xxx

artisus on 03-11-2008
harvest
do you know the joke about the rooster and the animals at the zoo etc? it's dirty, but wise. don't dress as zebras. you won't fool the rooster aka cock.

Author's Reply:
dear nic - no, i dont think so...is it a Greek joke? I have a strange feeling that you may have told it to me before? a very strange feeling, and i think i wrote a poem the day before yesterday calling Negrinho do Pastoreio, the little black shepherd, down from the hills, in response, but i really don't know -i i may post it to you along with a pair of socks - i like this poem harvest by the way :p xxx

artisus on 03-11-2008
harvest
get dressed as*

Author's Reply:
yes yes 🙂 good mime btw - sunken will be impressed.

artisus on 04-11-2008
harvest
I didn't do it for Sunken (I did something right, right?) I did it for albedo!
Your poem is very good, I actually and really and you can be sure of my sincerity, loved it.xxx

Author's Reply:
albedo? bless albedo - i worry too much, i'm glad you liked the poem - nobody said very much about it until later via the gift of something or other, i'm annoyed with Crons job and myself that it wasnt in the Friday's lot of posts - oh well - c'est la vie - not sure what you'll make of Negrinho's storypoem but it does have White Lightening, a Luncheonette, in it - time for a teabreak, and i'll send it-cheers nic xxx

Sunken on 04-11-2008
harvest
Yes, no one will expect a nib raid just before Xmas. It's perfect timing. This nib crunch can't be allowed to continue, Ms. Ditty. I have given the odd Bernard out, but to be frank, his presence isn't always appreciated. Last week he crapped in Luigi's conservatory and this week he's peed over Jolen's high heeled shoes. Nibs are far less hassle and they don't smell. I'll be in touch. Your xmas tree jumper takes 2 AA batteries by the way. The two that came with it are now in my novelty singing fish. "Well it's a one for the money..."

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Dandelion and Burdock - The new cop drama. Only on uk munky gold +1. Friday 9pm.

Author's Reply:
Dandelion and Burdock is a great drink - do you know who invented it -he liked poetry too, bit of meditation, and philosophy etc, gentle soul, reminds me i must stop smoking so much - unfortunately i don't think i know the tv show - is it also on youtube? Cheers munky, don't worry, i've got 2 AA's set aside for the journey -

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2 for the show xxx

e-griff on 04-11-2008
harvest
What a weally wubberly pome! (No, I mean it, real cute)

what is all this badinage? do you all understand each other - I don't.

did you mean 'white lightning'?

dandelion and burdock , sasparilla ... yummo! -

In Walton village, Liverpool, we used to go to the 'Herbal Stores' and get a 'pint of Sas' for sixpence ...

'albedo' was mine....... 'albumen' is next.

I used to dine at 'Musto Kokku' (Gallo Negro) in Salo, Finland. When they stopped making liquorice ice-cream, they sent a girl out to buy some liquorice and cut it up into the ice-cream because they knew I would ask for it! V Nice people, lovely.

At the time, you could also buy liquorice chewing gum. And they used to sell strips of liquorice (from under glass cases with scissors in hand) on the snow-covered market.

Happy days!

Author's Reply:
hi griffy - badinage is a great word! White lightning? Oh, from another poem - you mean a spelling mistake? well it's a Luncheonette and is written with an e, Lightening in the poem...

Lots of Happy days memories with what you say! Good Harvest and i reckon could make lovely poems and stories from this albumen! Thanks griffy, ditty xxx

red-dragon on 05-11-2008
harvest
Well, I am very disappointed that you didn't raid the nib warehouse; this is surely deserving of one.
Were you black and white and read all over? The sign of the Times....

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann - i think so, a few poems ago i asked what is black and white and red all over - glad you liked the poem, i liked your Postcards write recently -wanted to read that again - cheers Ann, ditty xxx (also. happy you think it is nib worthy - that means good, right? But if we stole them, and then released them, there would be inflation, and nobody likes that :o)

Rupe on 05-11-2008
harvest
I think it's a really great poem - captures a scene and a mood with precision and lyricism. But - and this could be me being thick - I was a little confused by the syntax of the last couple of lines. Is it the darkness that the night will never swallow whole (but the night is darkness?)? Or is it that the night (being dark) will never swallow the light of the candle whole? Or am I just plain missing something crucial. Could be.

Good one anyway.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Hi Rupe -thank you - turnip lanterns, pumpkins, fires and so on all round the world on this night, so go with your second sentence/question re candle! I suppose the doubt, which my sister also questioned me about, when she read this, is part of the 'vulnerable' word there - cheers Rupe, ditty xxx

e-griff on 05-11-2008
harvest
well, I hope you will accept this rare Griffpick.

[IMG]http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u215/JohnG38/quill-1.jpg[/IMG]

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 05-11-2008
harvest
er, or maybe this one.... 🙂

Photobucket

Author's Reply:
thank you :)))

discopants on 07-11-2008
harvest
A warm, almost celebratory poem. The last few lines put led me to thinking that the sun will shine again tomorrow. Not sure if that makes sense but that there's a sense of continuous renewal, a bit like the flame of a candle.

In case you're in any doubt...yes, I have had a the odd pint tonight before framing this comment.

dp
x

Author's Reply:
spot on disco, warm, celebratory, and the sun will shine - - i miss a good pint dp, i don't drink much but i do miss a good dark pint every now and then - hope you are ok -read your poem earlier, will read again tomorrow afternoon - when you may be over the worse of your hangover! thanks discopops xx:o)

Bevvy on 04-12-2008
harvest
This is indeed optimistic and celebratory. I love the 'mango sun' and the whole mellow fruitfulness of it all. I have an image of the candle as it flickers inside the pumpkin, against the darkness.
Talking of which, perhaps you might like to bring a pumpkin or turnip lantern to light our way during the nib raid - Sunky has kindly nominated me to hold the flask of tea, so my hands will be otherwise occupied....do you think it will rain?
Love,
Bev
x

Author's Reply:
Hi bevvy, i've just read your poem, and shall return there in a mo - nice to have to read this harvest poem today, thanks for commenting - i'm not sure about the pre-christmas nib raid, but will ask the nice people at British Airways about a plane ticket when i get back from a little adventure in Paraty, a beautiful old seaside town near Rio. *sings girl from Ipanema* I would most certainly suggest an umbrella, as well as flasks and scones tho - a huge one which makes us invisible, might be handy - cheers bev, l'ditty xx
(here are some pics of Paraty, colour therapy!

http://images.google.com.br/images?hl=pt-BR&q=paraty&gbv=2

Sunken on 04-12-2008
harvest
Ahem. Ms. Bevvy, you misunderstood my instructions. I need you to hold my scones. Ms. Ditty will still be required to hold my flask. I was thinking we could have a small tea party once inside the warehouse. I see no reason as to why this whole raiding business can't be carried out in a civil manner. Now, shall I bake the scones myself of get some from Tesco?

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please raise ones arms

Author's Reply:
Hi sunken, i have suggested to bevvy a huge umbrella also, one which makes us invisible -i will try and get there in time - i have an urgent appointment with colours in Paraty, near Rio:

http://images.google.com.br/images?hl=pt-BR&q=paraty&gbv=2

and will speak to the nice people at British Airways on my return - i miss the cute cleaning ladies at Heathrow -this always happens when i'm homesick, and can't sweep it under the carpet xx l'ditty x



artisus on 12-03-2009
harvest
so when are you going to post something new or something you've been editing like a manic street popcorn seller?

Author's Reply:
i could...but the popcorn business has been pretty full on 🙂 pray, let me think about it -i edited Wood Stacks and some others here and there - tis a phase :p

🙂 xx

artisus on 27-03-2009
harvest
hey Nicky, what happened to your Great Reads?

Author's Reply:
lol....
what happened to any writing at all???? it's a mystery...

artisus on 01-05-2009
harvest
writing seems to be vanishing before 2012 worldwide.. brrrr they have an exclusive plan, do you? it's too late to learn how to play the violin better than Paganini. Crackers has already been chosen among the male poet population. He and William Logan will share the same cabin. this is good news by all means. Little do they know Crackers agreed because they promised him two full meals. maybe I should start juggling nitroglycerin balls and artichokes.



Author's Reply:

Crackers on 01-05-2009
harvest
I am not allowed to take my raccoons with me. I can't leave them all alone to suffer. I'll take my chances, I have survived starvation, what could be worse than that?

By the way, a very nice poem.

Author's Reply:

artisus on 01-05-2009
harvest
I'll take care of your raccoons Benedict. Go ahead and shave your arse.

Author's Reply:

Crackers on 01-05-2009
harvest
Really? I must resist the temptation for at least three seconds.
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*Starts packing. Where's Spartacus's Brut shave gel for sensitive skin? I'm outta here*

Author's Reply:

Crackers on 25-07-2009
harvest
Doesn't this girl reply to the comments respectable people of the Synod make?

Author's Reply:
i'm sorry Crackers, I've been absent. I do reply, i do - in the past i always replied -to non respectable members also - I do hope all is as well as can be expected, better even, and that you have settled on how to hang pictures on the cylindrical walls of your trailer. Best wishes, Ditty xx


Honey, (posted on: 18-10-08)
poem - a little edit ...

Honey, You came on reflections of light, honeycomb angles, an inch of a curve spanning to hint at the forever flavour of your taste; how longing exceeds itself, leaping time, what is seen, what will be; desire glides miles ahead magnifying, and chased, a coquettish glance asks, follow me; will you never, ever, capture the endless crescendo of this wild honey in the mouth of your last gasp? Again, tease your hand across my skin, feel the disappearing corner bend an arch into a sigh of the sweetest longing. Gone! So long...your perfume lingers in absence.
Archived comments for Honey,
Munster on 18-10-2008
Honey,
Love your poem. great use of words. left me thinking.
Tony

Author's Reply:
Tony, thanks for commenting, you alerted me to the fact that it is not Monday, i am not dreaming, and think i need a drink! Glad you enjoyed 🙂

Sunken on 18-10-2008
Honey,
Ahem. This is a bit fresh and no mistake, Ms. Ditty. It's very good. It puts me in mind of a crazy golf course I once frequented in North Wales. I'm a little confused as to where your sub suddenly appeared from tho? I don't think it was here yesterday. Have you been time travelling again? A very accomplished piece, in my sunky opinion. Please accept a Bernard (-:

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NEW BERNARD2


Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken, confused too, international relations may indeed be strained because of it, Hi ho, poem, was also uplifted in this disgraceful outburst of willy nilly submissions -would Bernard mind if i add the italicswhich also disappeared? What IS going on around here -it's enough to send me back to sleep - i lived on a golf course once, frequented several crazy golf courses in Wales, and a few slag heaps also -i must write a poem about that...thank you sunken, you are lovely, cheers xxx

discopants on 21-10-2008
Honey,
This has to be a sequel to Hi Ho, doesn't it? It seems that way to me but I could be having a manblond moment (more commonly called a 'grey' moment!). So, if Hi Ho was about sex, this must be about the sea!!

dp

Author's Reply:
Nope! This was first :)) Both early Friday morning :)) Thanks for for commenting, may I be vague? Cheers Disco! xxx

Sunken on 24-10-2008
Honey,
What I want to know is - What was Mr. Munster left thinking? If he's anything like me it will be all kinds of pervy stuff. I'm sorry Ms. Ditty, but your writing is very provocative of late. It's not my fault if my head is being tampered with. Now, if you do not mind, I have a recession to chart. Good day.

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so how long have you been in charge of crunchie nut accounting then?

Author's Reply:
I don't know, and i'm sorry too - in the old days, before Cron's Job lost the plot, and we lost the hamsters, submissions were uploaded in an orderly fashion, Monday and Friday - now it's all gone haywire and i'm not suprised if this is causing some consternations - i'm really sorry sunky - recession though, can, as we say in The Accounts Department, kiss my arse - which is short hand for 'the best things in life are free' - thank you, and Good Day! Ditty xxx

Sunken on 24-10-2008
Honey,
Dear Ms. Ditty on the Dot, the Cron thingy seems to have really knocked you off balance. I wouldn't worry too much. I've kinda enjoyed the random subs popping up whenever they feel like it. That Ms. Andrea of tits fame has posted something on the forum with regards to said Cron thingy. It might be fixed, but we won't really know until a few days have passed. It's a bit like that bail-out that Mr. Brown has been working on. Not quite as important, granted, but still pivotal in respect to your mental wellbeing. I hope this helps. And now, if you do not mind, I have books to cook. I think I'll start with Jamie Oliver's, it's shit.

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excuse me madam, can i interest you in a cherry chapstick?

Author's Reply:
You cook books? The people at the Accounts Department musn't know about this sunken - they like Jamie Oliver - personally i like making Soups - did I mention Bobo? Bobo Babando, The Soup Maker? Bobo's story really should get written but the Silly Dribbler keeps vanishing, having not the concentration span of a stock cube since Bobo left Tenerife - i think this recession business may be contagious - and, as my hopes and dreams of becoming a mushroom farmer were dashed recently - i really don't know what to do next - I hope this information is useful for your charts - i think i might wait for Cron to work out what time it is, and perhaps see what Mr Brown comes up with also? Best not to Panic, i'll get chucked out of WallMart - thanks sunken, ditty of i don't know on the verge xxx

Sunken on 26-10-2008
Honey,
Dear Ms. Ditty, I spent most of yesterday (Saturday) inputting your new data into my various charts. The Mushroom Farming bar-graph is looking particularly impressive. I opted for day-glow orange on a deep ocean blue background. Tell me, Ms. Ditty on the recently recalibrated Dot, what do mushroom farmers wear on their heads? I'm thinking it's probably a big floppy affair with ostrich feathers? I can go no further with my graphs until this information has been collected. I hope this helps. Thank you. Good day.

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his left nipple can activate garden sprinklers

Author's Reply:
Sunken! I saw a beautiful horse yesterday wearing a scruffy straw hat -said horse was eating grass at the time while his friends were collecting paper and other items to recycle. Dayglow orange on a deep blue background is fine, although a warmer sunset shade is now fine also - i have no idea what Mushroom Farmers wear on their heads, but you may indeed be right! I am including a song - my friend is searching for it as we speak - it's in foriegn, you won't like it, but it has cows in it, and the words so you can sing along anyway! thanks! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALJklLFJ9H4

Sunken on 27-10-2008
Honey,
Ms. Ditty, I was only able to see a bit of your video because it kept pausing. The cows looked good, but what's with those subtitles? They were in foreign! I can't read foreign. I am of English origin and therefore expect everyone to speak like what am. I blame the queen. I shall try to watch it again later as I think one of the cows might go down a storm on X Factor. Good day.

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and lo a baby was sick

Author's Reply:
oh hello 🙂 - sorry i replied on your poem 🙁 i should have done so here 🙁 i am a bit upset! I had a space here to leave the translation i made for you - i blame lack of sleep. here it is again! less shoddy sorry! - thanks sunken, ditty xxx

Romaria - Almir Sater

It is of dream and dust
The destination of one only
Made lost in thought on my horse
It is of bow and knot
Of jibeira or jiló
Of this life
Fulfilled in the sun
I am caipira pirapora (organic and free) and the Lady of Appearances
Illuminates the dark mine and establishes the train of my life
My father was laborer
My mother solitude
My brothers had lost themselves in life
To the cost of adventures, unmarried, I played,
I invested, I gave up -
If there is luck, I do not know, I didn't see -
I am caipira pirapora, and the Lady of Appearances
Illuminates the dark mine and establishes the train of my life
They had said to me however
That I lived here
To ask the wandering
Pilgrim
Peace
As I do not know how to pray
I only wanted to show
My view, my view, my view.
I am caipira Pirapora, and the Lady of Appearances
Illuminates the dark mine and it establishes the train of my life


:o)

Sunken on 27-10-2008
Honey,
Ya know, if you stand that translation on its side it looks remarkably like the skyline in a dream I had recently. I blame cheesy wotsits. I've still not managed to view the video properly. It doesn't seem to download with the same speed that others do. Perhaps it's too far away? This is one train of life that I seem destined to miss, Ms. Ditty on the block. Still, I kinda like the translation. I am still absorbing it... Blimey, I make it sound like a nappy and no mistake. Thanks Ms. Ditty. You're a star, yes you are... la la la laaaaa. Ahem. Thank you. Good day.

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he accidentally faxed his tie to the new york times

Author's Reply:
🙂 translations are a difficult business sunken, i am trying but find it very difficult with poems especially - words have all kinds of attachment to them, ask dictionary.com and you will see they are hopeless at it - tis a matter of personal interpretation a lot of the time, no mistake - anyway, as long as you saw the monkey up the tree at the start, and the cows that skip, that's all that is important right now - thank you, and Good Evening. xxx:o)


Hi ho, (posted on: 18-10-08)
poem

Hi ho, Yellow poppy, candle on the sea, I am here catching your light on a sigh to see you rocking, a candle, the window; are you sleeping on your belly of waves scanning pages of love creaking port side beams, or wide eyed with shocks, starboard knocks in salty wood stretched to the seams? Pirate Girl, sticky fingers of palm sugar rum, licked, eyes bright awake from loving sweet, toffee, apple, frights; things that go bang! Cannons I could write of your tanned skin, the stud on your tongue, your hi ho rings, things which bite, of all of your might, and on your pouting lips, always a question.
Archived comments for Hi ho,
artisus on 20-10-2008
Hi ho,
i'd say "and on your pouting lips, always a quest".



Author's Reply:
if they were mine...perhaps - quest dot dot dot - would be a great alternative ending...oh hi, thanks nic!

discopants on 21-10-2008
Hi ho,
I was going to say something about this being a love poem but it's about sex rather than love, isn't it? Or have I utterly misread this and given a disturbing glimpse into my mind??

dp
x

Author's Reply:
How am I to answer that?!! A yelow poppy, erm...there's a story about this beautiful old sail boat that i could see from my balcony in Tenerife, wrote poems about this boat and a fictional woman who lived there, and then found out in the last week that a friend of mine spent most of her time there, its a gorgeous boat ---> go figure poet *slaps disco* xx:o)

Sunken on 22-10-2008
Hi ho,
Lol. I'm with Disco. I thought it was about sex too. In fact I've thought that about your last couple of subs. Not that there's anything wrong with that you understand. Ahem. Are you sure it's not about sex? It's very sensual for a sail boat poem. Perhaps it's a very sexy boat? Anyway, it's yet another damn fine write, Ms. Ditty on the sea and no mistake. Thank you.

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please sir, can i have that in writing?

Author's Reply:
its a sensual sexy loverly poem about a very sexy sailboat and a yellow poppy - of course its about sex, love, fondness, sailboats, and the sea - can I go now? Questions questions...xxx:o)

d
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man overboard

Sunken on 22-10-2008
Hi ho,
Hi ho - hi ho
it's off to work we go.
la la la la laaa la la la la laaaa...

Bugger, I'll be singing that all day now!



Author's Reply:
HA HA!!! Hi ho silver sunky , la,la ,la lala :o)

discopants on 22-10-2008
Hi ho,
So the combined intellectual weight of sunks and me is in agreement. This can mean only one thing! Er...any idea what that might be, dittster?

And as 'Hi Ho' and 'Honey' were written the same morning, then they have been hewn from the same creative chunk of rock. I rest my case!

Author's Reply:
It means you are both lovely and i obviously couldn't possibly be mis/understood by a better dynamic duo - i have only one objection: you used the word 'hewn'...which is only forgivable this once, as it is in reference to rock - otherwise you would have to walk the plank - i'm afraid it is a word like 'shard' and is completely unnacceptable - if we could all just agree that these two poems are from the 'Return of Desire' collection, to be filed under the 'She ain't dead yet...' section, perhaps we could all move forward and have a bbq on the deck, shimmy up the riggin and dive into the sea? I think this is the only way forward in these troubled times? Thanks, and Hi ho, instead of Ho hums, ditty xxx


Cicada (posted on: 03-10-08)
poem

Cicada Each word is a brick obscuring my vision of you, when I would use none for this Cicada on a string; distilling all to the resounding hum of knowing you are there beyond the wall I do not want to be building, whispering through the chink, walking through walls weaving trees climbing up through a humid earth, flavouring this cicada song with breath, knowing, before words and after when I would use none.
Archived comments for Cicada
Bradene on 03-10-2008
Cicada on a string
Your poetry always has the power to astonish me. This is no exception. I can't even choose a line that stands out above the rest, they all stand tall and are filled with great images of a heart that is full.

Author's Reply:
Cheers Val, thank you very much for commenting, happy you liked this poem xx

artisus on 03-10-2008
Cicada on a string
a powerful poem, very interesting flow
xXx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Nic, glad you thought so xx

Sunken on 03-10-2008
Cicada on a string
Hello Ms. Ditty on the grassy knoll. Tell me, what is a Cicada? Is it some form of alcoholic beverage that I have somehow overlooked? I could google said word, but to be quite frank I would rather have you explain it to me. I think it's the least you can do for confusing me in the first place (-; I like very much the line about weaving trees. They do kinda weave don't they? I never thought of them as weaving. I myself have never practiced said craft. I blame many things for this oversight. Here are just three of them - The 700 billion dollar bail-out plan that America have put into place with regards to helping me with the funding of a shoe repair - The link between space and tefal nonstick saucepans and, finally, the multitude of angles expressed by a stick insect as it ponders on the rich tapestry of someone else's life. I hope this has helped. Continue being Ditty. You have no reason to ever change. Thank you.

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he kissed a girl and got pregnant

Author's Reply:
Cheers sunks, course it helped xx

teifii on 04-10-2008
Cicada on a string
Lovely poem, Quite apart from its metaphorical effect, there seems to be almost an essence of cicada in it. Made me nostalgic for Provence.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Thanks Daff, glad you liked, cheers xx

Jolen on 04-10-2008
Cicada on a string
Hi Nicky,
I really, really enjoyed this one and I agree with Daff, it does take on a cicada effect as one reads it.

I loved the ending most of all, as it's a powerhouse, IMO.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jolen, glad you liked it, cheers xx

Munster on 04-10-2008
Cicada on a string
I will read this again and again, building walls, how we do that all to subconsciously, life would be so much easy if we had worm like flexibility.

great poem. Tony

Author's Reply:
Thanks Tony, glad you enjoyed, cheers xx

discopants on 07-10-2008
Cicada on a string
I've neem trying to pin this poem down and it keeps flitting away. Suffice to say that in looking to see what's underneath I've found lots of half-explanations and that's good enough for me!

dp
x

Author's Reply:
lovely comment disco, thanks 🙂 x

discopants on 08-10-2008
Cicada on a string
but look at what happens when i try to touch-type- 'neem'?? Back to studying the keyboard for me!

Author's Reply:

sybarite on 14-12-2010
Cicada
"when I would use none
for this Cicada
on a string;" --wonderful!

Well rendered. I have been trying to write about walls myself. I think I will stop as nothing I come up with will touch this.

Author's Reply:
thanks for reading sybarite - glad you liked it


crisscrossed the equator... (posted on: 29-09-08)
poem

Crisscrossed the equator... Went to meet her, Mid summer, Crisscrossed the equator with a cargo of books, Found her sat in line in Central Park Next to Wall, Chink, Bottom, Hamlet, Quince, Titania, and a bunch of punch drunk fairies singing her song. "Hello"- "Hi. You been here long?" *Queue Joke: "As long as since just before you arrived.." I smiled. Reality is all a buzz this is no dream, Saxophone man, pink silk shirt, cream jeans, Scuttles his music stand along the verge: Long Beautiful Hair...beep-beep, striking flares, No Max Roach for this score's 'Hair'. Speak easy, screech; sweet - don't you just know it? Another Life Coach and a Here and There Poet, Rasta, Pasta, Basta, take in the scene: La Vista Baby direction unknown. Dylan plays Brooklyn, Fire with Fire at the beach, Leaves blowing in the wind around our feet. Democratic Convention, The American Dream. Hey Sinnerman, where you going to run to? Chomsky, honky, narcotic neurotics, Colonics, organics, macrobiotics, Quakers, film makers, cup-shakers, pimps, Breakers, espresso makers, shrinks, pinks. Take a stroll down Christopher Street, Decade's revival, survival, fly a flag a minute. Downtown train- Tom Waits to Greenwich Village, Liberty, what a liberty bye bye Baby Baby Bye-bye..........Went to meet her, Mid Spring, Crisscrossed the equator with a cargo of books, Almonds, albums, Indian silver butterfly hooks, Wheely-bags stuffed to their splitting seams, Packages of little things, paper ream dreams, Miniature bottles, waffles, and Chicago's markers, To find her with a Doctor in the sick heart of Sao Paulo Back to the Wall, chink, zombies, ice, crack, stink, Maria, and a bunch of fat-cat flatulent politicians, police, priests. "Hello"- "Hi" Jesus Saves screechers preaching demons in the streets, I cried, reality is all a buzz - this is no dream, Under stand-up-alone blankets "untouchable" children sleep. America, America, where you going to run to? Republican Convention, lipstick, tension, heroes, pigs, Hey Sinnerman, who you going to vote for? Holy Wars, inquisitions, acquisitions, glitz - Dear God don't talk to me about the missionary position, The streets are not safe for those trying to make a living, Politicians where you going to run to? Globalisation, deforestation, rivers breached or disappearing, "Health care for all"? Women's rights, minority rights, equality farce, Wake up to global warming, acclimatisation my arse... Dear God, culture shock, reality is all a buzz this is no dream, America, America, went to meet her, crisscrossed the equator, Split at the seams... 14/15/16 September08
Archived comments for crisscrossed the equator...
Sunken on 30-09-2008
crisscrossed the equator...
Ms. Ditty, I am doing a standing ovulation as I speak. A wonderful piece and no mistake. I feel as if I have dipped my toe into your stream of consciousness. Please don't worry, I have washed my feet. Excellent and no mistake.

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Author's Reply:
rolf! thanks, i was helped rather a lot by various musicians and writers along the way - and a couple of very good friends too - and some lovely family in New York - and Hong Kong Phooey - it's a bit hysterical tho, this write - i'll have to post some more positive ones - you and Bernard are welcome anytime -hope this one made you smile as it did me, otherwise Hulketta would have got the better of me :o) Ditty, the Mild Mannered Librarian *ahem*

Sunken on 01-10-2008
crisscrossed the equator...
It did indeed make me smile, Ms. Ditty. Who's idea was the Bay City Rollers line? Bye, bye baby... I'm always watching documentaries on bands, any band, and I once saw one on the Bay City Rollers. They were huge in their day, I mean really massive. They got screwed-over by management and ended up with next to nothing. Apparently Courtney Love of 'Hole' fame was meant to be making a film about them, honestly. You wouldn't necessarily marry them together would ya? I doubt she'll ever make it. She has problems just putting her shoes on. I've used that 'bye, bye baby' line in a poem too, one of the many I've never subbed, so it was good to see it here. Of course, in your poem, it may not be related to the Rollers of daft trousers fame, but I'm kind of hoping it is. They were cheesy pop at it's best according to the girls who were wetting themselves over 'em back in the 70's. Your poem is crammed full of stuff. It's like a kebab with all the trimmings. This analogy must surely make you happy? (-;

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baby don't cry...

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken -a lovely reply to your comment was lost in an internet swindle earlier today - i am so distressed by this that i can't say another word about it, and have barely been able to reply to disco's shrimp concerns - so i can only say sorry, and pray that this radio station will be to your satifaction - thanks: http://www.trash80s.com.br/radio/radio.htm

discopants on 01-10-2008
crisscrossed the equator...
You know what, dittster, this is one of my favourite subs of yours- not your usual style but it's vibrant, buzzing, rhythmic. All the musical references led to me trying to hum song after different song- not easy when I'm plugged in to a spot of Biffy Clyro at not inconsiderable volume. In the 2 lines from 'Quakers' may I suggest a reference to shrimps somewhere- that's a challenge for you!

Incidentally, I can't help thinking that a librarian whyo isn't mild-mannered may well be in the wrong job- you can't be flying off the handle all the time and then shushing yourself, can you?

dp
x

Author's Reply:
shrimps? there are shrimps there though, in those 2 lines, which is surely why you thought of them Disco - and, as they are members of the cockroach family, I had also cunningly included Max Roach previously, to autosuggest 'shrimps' in those there very lines - i am now unsure whether this worked for you or not and have become anxious - also -do you think i ought to add a playlist/bibliography of music, novels, philosophers, sociologists and sitcoms? A microfish (sp?) or something, in a librarian type fashion? Oh i don't know...it's all exhausting! I miss the Ocean. While i am very happy you liked this outburst, i really must go to sleep now - reality in the city has taken its toll, and daily anaestetics at the dentist don't seem to be helping matters - here: Sunken is suggesting pop music. Risky, but lets try the 80's: http://www.trash80s.com.br/radio/radio.htm

Sunken on 02-10-2008
crisscrossed the equator...
Dear Ms. Ditty, You are forgetting that I am an ignorant Englishman who expects everyone else to speak the same language as what I do. That radio station, though very nicely rendered, is all in foreign! What's the world coming to? It's a disgrace! Now, if you do not mind, I have tartan pants to purchase. Good day!

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houston, we have no money

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken -no it's not - *pfs* -also i thought you might appreciate some foreign - it's sometimes better not to fully understand - Spanish pops for example, Latin pops in general, for sure - best of British to you anyway, and if you don't mind, i have been instructed to be more wayward by my Life Coach who thinks i'm way too serious, and so must diligently put my best foot forward in this regard and try to understand what the fuck she means by that - apparently i need to drink more, and shop for pants also - Good day! Ms Ditty xxx

artisus on 03-10-2008
crisscrossed the equator...
foreign, that IS the style of our world. everything is sooo foreign or slightly foreign, it starts with our self and the rest of the world. personally i am almost foreign to myself while i crisscross the equator of self awareness. is your poem deep or is it my idea?

Author's Reply:
'it starts with our self and the rest of the world. personally i am almost foreign to myself while i crisscross the equator of self awareness.'

Seeing the Musical 'Hair' in Central Park was something i'll never forget - i know i felt OLDer!!! - bloomin' hippies :o) - and there are other poems, one re Christopher Street - a 'gay' street in New York - i've been three times, in three decades, ghetto, sickness, revival and acceptance - if it is there, i'll write it up and post it when i crisscross Brazil and reunite with my bag of books in Sao Paulo- - this speedwrite appears to be a scream across the surface - and of course you're as deep as an Ocean! Reading is where it is at, right? which is why i posted it. Love, Volcanoes, and where would we be without a sense of humour? - thanks Nic xxx


Dreamer's tin of Graffiti Special (posted on: 26-09-08)
poem

Dreamer's tin of Graffiti Special ''You are a Dreamer!'' she says slightly exasperated to say the very least the popped Champagne cork the souvenir magnum smoking the sarong so I simply take a ladder to the horizon line lean it against the sky climb each rung as high as I can take out my tin of Graffiti Special write 'I LOVE YOU' in huge red rounded letters on the blue slide down the ladder becoming a canoe and paddle my heart out heading for the sarong now a haiku of shells quietly reading and if a cloud goes by and the sarong becomes a Japanese scarf on the washing line it may be of interest to note: a bird in a haiku calls just before I open the Champagne. * sarongs08
Archived comments for Dreamer's tin of Graffiti Special
teifii on 26-09-2008
Dreamers tin of Graffiti Special
I like this -- lovely imagery. But I do also like punctuation. I don't see the need for making reading more difficult than need be. Fortunately the sense of this one keeps the reader on board.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Dear Daff, i like punctuation too, an overfondness for it in waking life (occupational hazzard) but find enjoyable dreams to be punctuation free, so i am glad you were able to stay with this one kind of dreamy wave poem - thanks Dood, surfs up! xxx

teifii on 26-09-2008
Dreamers tin of Graffiti Special
PS
Champaign is spelt champagne. Hope you forgive meddling.
Daff

Author's Reply:
ever since i woke up that word has bugged me, and i have stubbornly refused to investigate the niggle! Thanks Daff - i'll change it - cheers xx

artisus on 26-09-2008
Dreamers tin of Graffiti Special
a dreamer's poem, nice and loved the ending

now a haiku of shells quietly reading
and if a cloud goes by and the sarong
becomes a Japanese scarf on the washing line
it may be of interest to note: a bird in a haiku
calls just before I open the Champagne.

xX

Author's Reply:
yaay to dreams and dreamers - thanks nic-o-pop, do you know that it is only Brits (and you (so, Europeans) who have pointed out the spelling mistake? I like this, and find it quite sociological, presently...i have started dreaming Bobo Babando, The Soup Maker's story, while in the dentist's chair, so i am now quite looking forward to my daily reality - yaaay to reality! dribbles and drools, cheers xxx

artisus on 26-09-2008
Dreamers tin of Graffiti Special
yes, it is only the Brits and the lesser European races who can point out such spelling mistakes..

Author's Reply:
yes, indeed, only the lesser Europeans and the Greeks, for sure :p

BaBy_PoeT on 26-09-2008
Dreamers tin of Graffiti Special
they were giving free champagne in dorothy perkins as it was the girls night out event tingy going on... lol.
anyways to the poem lets raise our glasses of champagne..
it was another colourful write. a lot of good imagery used... and I will write 'I LOVE YOU' in red round letters for you lol.
the alliteration made it more powerful i think.
take care
xXxBPxXx

Author's Reply:
Free Champagne??? How excellent! Always a big cheer for you BP, it's good to sense you are happy and doing well...am I right? Of course i'm right! - Are you writing sometimes? Thanks for your lovely review, it's a poem of mine i like - take care you too, love, LilMsG xx

discopants on 01-10-2008
Dreamers tin of Graffiti Special
May i suggest a can of white graffiti paint for use on a rainbow next time? I think that would look pretty damn good and you could slide back down the rainbow- I'd have posted a photoshopped pic of a bright (double) rainbow I snapped in Madeira the other week as an example but I'm basically a technophobe and can't be arsed anyway, even if I had the ability, if I'm prefectly honest.

There's still a 'Champaign' in line 3 by the way...

dp
x

Author's Reply:
ah yes -an oily rainbow was posted elsewhere earlier today when it all went showtoon - where is your pic -that sounds lovely - most amazing ones i ever saw were dancing all over Iguasu Waterfalls, what a magical place that is... ahhhh! - thanks for pointing out the other Champaigne, what a fried brain i have at the mo - i'll fix it tomorrow morning after dreaming of Iguasu -cheers disco xxx


L'Haim...To Life (posted on: 15-09-08)

L'Haim...a toast for all occasions



LHaim...To Life There is no pain like birth forgotten under the umbrella of soft arms, all the wet, and the dry wonderment of everything just as it is, awake or sleeping gently, since, every sunny day and storm is just weather; a blanket, umbrella, the cradle of safe arms, the potential raised into the air, and kissed to sleep in peace.
Archived comments for L'Haim...To Life
Sunken on 16-09-2008
LHaim...To Life
What a bloomin lovely little ditty this is, Ms. Ditty. It made me feel all warm and gooey, like a toasted cheese snack of delicious proportions. I am loving that you're subbing again. Suddenly, autumn doesn't seem so dull.

Formatting news can be seen here -

http://ukauthors.com/phorum5/read.php?11,135902

It's nothing you've done. Thank you.

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devon knows im miserable now

Author's Reply:
glad you liked this bloomin one - why waste valuable time? may be it´s Devon that´s dull? suggest you go to Cornwall asap, have a cream tea and remember to SING!...anything except that song!*pfs* surely Autumn is beautiful to behold? i havent seen an Autumn for years - bet its beautiful in Cornwall...it´s Spring where i am, again, - oh well - is that why i´m twittering on like this? Could be...i´ll check that formatting news link when ive time later, thanks Munkyxxx

artisus on 16-09-2008
LHaim...To Life
it's a charming poem but not as focused as I would like. let's talk about this poem of yours one day.. xxx

Author's Reply:
not as focussed? um - the L´Haim poem? the one i cant see when i am replying here to you? it is a multi purpose poem in some respects but i was extremely focussed i think - wrote it thankful especially for a herb, okay, let´s talk about this poem one day soon...do you think sunken should perhaps visit Cornwall and have a cream tea? i think that would be very nice indeed xxx

artisus on 16-09-2008
LHaim...To Life
when you are extremely focused this is bad news for a multi purpose poem. unless of course you can be extremely multi focused.

Master ZeNic.

xxx

Author's Reply:
*faints*

artisus on 16-09-2008
LHaim...To Life
Yes, cream tea in Cornwall.

You have seen the eyes of Kumu (without staring of course) and you may have noticed what multifocusing does to people..

aha-ha.ha.-aha!
*coughs*


Author's Reply:
yes, the future is indeed too bright - does it make one light headed? *burps*

e-griff on 23-09-2008
LHaim...To Life
You need to send in your bio for the anth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

see forum.............G

Author's Reply:
thanks griffy - i have, i have! xx

ifyouplease on 06-01-2015
LHaim...To Life
another poem of yours that will have its own response poem by me. ehehe so i will try later next week probably.

Author's Reply:

ifyouplease on 27-03-2015
LHaim...To Life
hi there Nicky hope you can reappear on uka - i have a poem finally and will post it later here and maybe submit it too.
hugz
xx

Author's Reply:

ifyouplease on 27-03-2015
LHaim...To Life
i wonder if you receive any comment notifications! hope you're ok

well here is the poem i submitted

TO CROSSED FINGERS

There is no failure like rebirth
oblivious under the impression
of no erased memories,
all the faces, the eyes,
the dormancy of everything
you once knew, asleep too
or walking around like a zombie,
since, every pleasure and pain
is just an illusion; a book, a partner,
the morning coffee, the nose-rubbing lovers
and the pooping babies, those who do harm...
a contract reincarnates your hopes,
desires and needs, even recreates
the faceless sky on top of the faceless sea,
one more popping into existence
the terms and conditions of which
are bona fide signed.

Author's Reply:
around, zombie-like since

littleditty on 28-03-2015
LHaim...To Life
Yes. I am here. I can't see anything. I will find my glasses and return forthwith...

Author's Reply:

ifyouplease on 29-03-2015
LHaim...To Life
forthwith hmm
well hitherto you have not returned my dear
do you like da poem?

Author's Reply:
Yes. I am charging my phone and laptop by the power of the sun. I will be enjoying a big screen, glasses and a whiskey later...please join me for brunch on the veranda at 11?

ifyouplease on 31-03-2015
LHaim...To Life
you have my gmail i haven't deleted that one. it's been ages since the last time i had whiskey - i avoid even drinking beer for almost a year. espresso, mineral water and cake for me.

Author's Reply:


a poem about soup and lettuce.. (posted on: 12-09-08)
poem...story style, edited.

On the black volcanic sand it rained, on the Sahara white, the sky fell down, yet not one grain soaked, no muddy ground, to tell of footprints under a nomad's moon swept by a roaring lions breath arranging landscape; valley and dune. Snake tracks vanishing letters spun, lizard feet wisped quick as a slithering tongue. It rained one month the sky fell down, yet not one grain soaked, no cactus cup to catch one drop, condensed or not. This silent irrigation, barefoot trod, the red hot shifting map made dust from lava turned to stone - just for breathing air.. and there, a woman and baby, both so close to death, cracked lips - how she longed for a taste of mud, drained of every moisture bead, skin seamed, rack of ribs, creaking bones, walked - one step, one step, under a clear sky's fallen autograph. Her baby held close by a fading scarf made long ago by a Grandmother's hand, knit in the cemetery on the bench at Hoop Lane; a grounds man by a wheelbarrow, smoking in the rain, a memory plate of cut up fruit, eaten secretly at night quietly in her tiny room surely kept them still alive, walking through the blazing sun, so parched, so close to death, not one more step to take: A mirage: Visions of lettuce, sprouting from the sand until unsure of truth or lie, oasis, sea or land, one half coconut shell she did spy, A few yards off in shimmering heat of light. A voice screamed from another land, "Walk! I've cried every tear this desert lost and have tried to stop the endless flood for one half-filled shell of coconut.." Then, like magic, there it was - soup in the sand, and story told to children at a school: A woman and baby so very close to death are walking through desert isopleths and find a coconut shell half filled up. What should she do with this soup in a cup? "Feed it all to the baby with her fingertips, Miss?" is the innocent answer from a sweet child's lips. So the woman takes the shell in her careful hand... What did she do with the soup from the sand? . Isopleth 1 : an isoline on a graph showing the occurrence or frequency of a phenomenon as a function of two variables 2 : a line on a map connecting points at which a given variable has a specified constant value
Archived comments for a poem about soup and lettuce..
Sunken on 12-09-2008
a poem about soup and lettuce..
Yay (-: Ms. Ditty of Dot Green is back and no mistake! I've read this twice now and will no doubt read it again soon. Will I be expected to pay a surcharge, Ms. Ditty? Your unique style has always been a favourite with both my bad self and the beagle. I hope you'll accept his dodgy accolade in the spirit in which it is given. And no, I'm not just trying to off-load him onto you so that I can go out clubbing over the weekend (-; Great to see ya back on uka, Ms. Ditty. A tip top piece to be sure and no mistake.

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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/windowpains/Templates/topbarks1.jpg


Author's Reply:
clubbing? why so aggressive sunky? of course i will take care of the beagle whenever you need time for yourself...thank you for stopping by and cheering me up - two tins of Pedigree Chum ok? xxx

Sunken on 12-09-2008
a poem about soup and lettuce..
Oh balls. Sorry Ditty. I was trying to be clever. It doesn't suit me. I'll try to attach the Bernard again later from my usual pc. Ahem.



Author's Reply:
i looked before....is that cheating? :Oo

Sunken on 12-09-2008
a poem about soup and lettuce..
I think I've worked it out, Ditty. Bernard was just being awkward. He gets like this when there's a full moon due.



Author's Reply:
ahhh..there he is! Is that a nasty spot on his cheek, or the reflection of the moon? Thanks Sunken, Ditty xxx

Jolen on 13-09-2008
a poem about soup and lettuce..
I don't even know where to begin on this one, LD, but damn! Some great lines in it and the style is both unknown to me and beautiful.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen -thanks - it rhymes! A poem, the style: A Rlrtu --->rhymes less randomly than usual! Glad you thought it beautiful, thanks for reading, hope you are feeling groovy, love, Ditty xx:o)

Ionicus on 13-09-2008
a poem about soup and lettuce..
A fantastically beautiful poem written your usual inimitable style, Nicky. To tell you about my favourite lines I would to quote the entire poem.

Love, Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi - that´s lovely, glad you enjoyed the read, good to know you liked the read and thank you for telling me, love, Nicky xxx

orangedream on 14-09-2008
a poem about soup and lettuce..
'A fantastically beautiful poem'. Couldn't have put it better myself - but I think you could;-)

Marvellous.

Tina:-)x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - thank you :o) - very happy you thought so - i am trying to read while i have limited time on line, and getting frustrated that i have not kept up on your postings 🙁 next week however, the deal is that i am right by a computer every moment i am not at the dentist - uh oh - but at least i can look forward to reading your pieces - hope you are well, love, Marathon Dittywoman! xxx

Sunken on 14-09-2008
a poem about soup and lettuce..
Two tins is fine, Ms. Ditty. The spot on his cheek was me trying to be all arty I'll have you know! It's meant to represent a flash bulb. He is very fond of having his picture taken. Apparently his mother was big in Beaglewood. I hope this helps. Thank you.

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rebel without a can opener

Author's Reply:
Beaglewood on the Verge? Where they invented ringpulls? Blimey - xxx


How I have missed your tongue (posted on: 18-08-08)
August 07

How I have missed your tongue, And not just your voice, Your tongue - And not just your language, Those words that became more mine When we gave each other to each other, Palavras that spilled from the tip, The fork, When songs were banned, When singing was banished When musicians were locked up For enticing memories And colouring a culture palette; How I have missed your tongue And not just your culture, Your tongue - And not just your language, Those words that became more mine When we returned each other to each other, Mine - now that melody Unlocks musicians No longer missed, In an amnesty of tongues.
Archived comments for How I have missed your tongue
barenib on 18-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
An interesting and enjoyable poem that creates its atmosphere with some original ideas. I liked the following in particular;

When musicians were locked up
For enticing memories
And colouring a culture palette

now that melody
Unlocks musicians
No longer missed,
In an amnesty of tongues

One thing you could clear up for me is the meaning of palavra? I looked it up and could only see that it's Portugese for palaver, but I'm not sure that this fits. A good read - John.


Author's Reply:
Hi John, palavras means 'words' in Portuguese! -i'm glad you enjoyed this -i was looking back at writes i'd written a year ago - i think it was inspired by a fav poem called 'Search for my Tongue' by Sujata Bhatt, a Gujarati born poetess - a bilingual poem discussing Asian youth raised in the west caught between two cultures, languages, search for identity etc - thanks for reading and comenting, cheers :o)

Sunken on 19-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
Hey Ditty, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Ditty - Hey Ditty. Ahem. It's been a while since I sang that. I blame Toni Basil. It's smashing to see you back at planet Uka. What do you think of the ceiling? I painted it last weekend. August is always a good time to do a bit of maintenance as it's generally a bit quieter. I've also painted the doors in the ladies toilets, so please be aware. I like your poem very much. I especially like the bit about melody unlocking musicians. I tried unlocking my front door this morning by whistling a happy tune - It didn't work. Where am I going wrong, Ms. Ditty? Shall I try a miserable tune?

Yours with a hole in his sock,

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his heart ticks

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken, you painted the ceiling? i've looked at clouds from both sides now you have reminded me of a write which disappeared, it was about a tent - and i was painting the roof to make it transparent -not as easy as it looks, that's for sure...if i sing a happy song do you think i might find it? A stitch in time, sunky, a stitch in time...bless your cottons, love, ditty in New York City xx

Doughnut on 20-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
This had me thinking alright. It would certainly fit with the suppression of minority languages and cultures. Is it a poem about assimilation? Duncan

Author's Reply:
Hi Doughnut, glad it got you thinking, thanks for leaving your thoughts -assimilation? i'll think about that some more - cheers, ditty xx

flossieBee on 21-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
Hello ditty,

gosh - it's been a long time. I really like this poem -'these words that became more mine' - and I'm remembering Sujata Bhatt's poem as well...wonderful.

fB xx

Author's Reply:
hello fb, come and have a bagel with me? ditty of NYC xxx:o)

Queynte on 21-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
I've missed your tongue too, gorgeous. Then again, my name is Queynte.

Love and juice,

Queynte


Author's Reply:
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!XXx!

Ionicus on 21-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
Hi Nicky. After reading your poem (with references to melody and musicians) I genned myself on tonguing. This is a definition I got from Google:
"Double tonguing is a skill that comes in handy in many a piece. Below are instructions for beginning double-tonguers, triple tonguing basics, some tips I find useful."
I still haven't graduated to double tonguing but my single tonguing is IMO fairly adequate.
Joking apart, a good poem.

Luigi xx

Author's Reply:
Luigi! May I award you best comment of the week? Hilarious, and spot on! ho-ho-ho :o) and a chuckle all day to you too -thank you kind sir xxx

Sunken on 21-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
Are you really in New York, Ms. Ditty? I have images of you hanging out of a skyscraper trying to get a wifi signal. Please be careful. Dittys, even little ones, are not known for their bouncing properties. Thank you.

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she says it's about his pot noodle habit and that she just can't take it anymore

Author's Reply:
i yam, yes siree-bawb - keep getting lost, blame the grid system and a rebellious inner child - found myself in the middle of the night, exactly somewhere i wasn't meant to be, where large size people kept saying 'hey mumma' as i walked by - to which i replied 'hey...' disguising my englishness quite successfully i think? I'm trying to be careful, thanks - drinking Bourbon (and i thought that was a chocky biscuit?) - a bourbon cocktail called a Gallant Fox - 'house infused cedar bourbon, maple syrup, sour cherry and a chili rim' (a chili rim?? excuse me?? oh nevermind...) i predict adventure - and amazingly they have wireless on the ground here - no more precarious ledges -bliss! thanks again l'sunky - i'll keep you informed via the gift of ologies xxx

teifii on 22-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
Very well crafted poem and very thought provoking. I used to teach several Chileans during Pinochet's time and your poem reminded me of them and of Victor Hara.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff, thanks, glad it was thought provoking -i listened to some Victor Hara when i got your comment - and remembered the music from way back - limited internet time at the mo -when i have time on line, i read -and have caught up with your writes -will go and see if you have posted this week -thanks for reading xx:o)

artisus on 22-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
I told you (or I'm telling you) New York and Vladivostok are not ideal for traveling. But you didn't listen to me (or it's too late to listen to me).

This is a nice poem, and.. good luck kid!
xXX

Author's Reply:
of all the gin joints.......luck?? i need a luck like a hole in the head - i should have listened to you, New York was good tho~ xxx

Rosco on 27-08-2008
How I have missed your tongue
I wonder about a small, possible edit:

And not just your language vs. And not just your thoughts

Perhaps the word 'language' dulls the double figure being created a little more than in that Chardonnay masterpiece. Perhaps not.
I like Dali too. Nicely done.

Author's Reply:
just for the second one? i reserve the right to continue to think about it -your suggestions usually come to pass, so i~ll let the clock drip, or tick - thanks Ross - you last one was top notch -im reading when i can - its a Zombie movie or the jungle at the mo! xxx

Jolen on 02-09-2008
How I have missed your tongue
I liked your poem, Nicky, it's evocative and you know how I love that!

The repetition works well here, just enough, IMO.

Good to read your work again and I hope you're well.
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen -thanks -read yours too quickly -will go back to it, seemed like a wow - online later i hope - thanks for popping in - must dash, 2 mins left at cafe - slaterxxx

BaBy_PoeT on 24-09-2008
How I have missed your tongue
hellooooo.... how have you been..??? hope u been well and happy..and enjoying life....

now to the poem... when i started reading it i was like hmmm should i carry on due to the imegery used in the first half of the stanza.. it was well written and me being a student well i wasnt sure lol... but anyhow as im cheeky and old nuff (i turned 19 by the way) i thought i can read it so i carried on i loved it and i was thinking it mightv'e been inspired by 'search for my tongue'...

i really really loved this bit ......
"""When songs were banned,
When singing was banished
When musicians were locked up
For enticing memories
And colouring a culture palette;""

it just did something wonderful to the poem and made it more understanding and made the readers feel how close and alone you and the tongue was... if you get what im trying to say... maybe not physically though!!!

anyways hope your well .
take care
xXxBPxXx



Author's Reply:
BP - You're 19?

*faints*

Hello! i'm well, life is good isn't it? You are 19! This means we have known each other for ages - time goes sooo fast - the imagery - yup, Search for my tongue - i realised as i wrote it that her fine poem must have inspired this one somehow - did we study that one together? I'm glad you made it through the split to the 2nd stanza! I've just now remembered 'Presents from my Aunts...' remember that one? Again, similar ideas there, using clothes and objects, whereas in my ditty, its music and song - perhaps both poems helped me with this one then? Thanks so much for your lovely review, glad you enjoyed it and left your thoughts here - thanks Najira, lilMsG xx

Scapegoat on 25-09-2008
How I have missed your tongue
I, too, have missed your tongue.

When can I have some of it again?

Marlene

Author's Reply:
You, Queynte - *checks agenda* umm.. it appears i am completely free dear Marlene xxx

Ania on 14-12-2008
How I have missed your tongue
I have just looked at some of your poems, and it was this one that - forgive the almost pun - spoke to me the most strongly, although many of the others used perhaps more lilting language and imagery. I have never been a huge poetry fan but am beginning to take much more interest and enjoyment of it since joining this happy band of writers.

Keep them comin, Ania

Author's Reply:


Wood Stacks June 23rd (posted on: 18-07-08)
Fiesta of St John, fires on the beach

Wood stacks (edited) Wood stacks along the beaches for St John, for luck, for the summer months to come, for little boats fishing lines home families build fire beacons on their patch of sandy turf, throw sand, wriggle toes in surf, and gather, eat together, throw the dog a bone, sun-kiss tomatoes in the first rays of summer. Sunset is falling a shawl around shoulders in just peachy pink blaze golden wands of warmth! Let it be tassels, frays, and knots in big soft dots swirling on a sky's silky stretch. Let it be wrapped in dusk's sweet breath. Darkness. Strike the match; tinder kindling ignites tongues burning a fallen tree - roots and the juice of hardwood fizz, and eyes of pine pop to ash. A scent, a last glance in oils - Midnight, Madrugada - we jump the fires and find the open arms of friends flicker like flames warming the embers of a hug. Never-ending hellos farewells lots of love. Madrugada, Midnight to morning, couples walk the hot coals, volcanoes dream of the last time they were floating candles - each island alight as fire circles sparking a display for the stars. They burn for walkers until dawn for all to taste the tequila air salt, lime; flames lick wet legs, heat thighs, and before bedtime, fireworks bouquet the sky.
Archived comments for Wood Stacks June 23rd
e-griff on 18-07-2008
Wood Stacks June 23rd
Do you know, I was almost put off by the first six lines and the exclamation mark
this line: for the little boats fishing lines home – families
didn't fit at all - and the turf/surf was naff.

BUT THEN - it took off, the rhyme, reference - I loved it - excellent! very much appreciated the nuances and the skill. Just fix that false start, for me. I'd start it at Sunset is... cut the rest.

Author's Reply:
griffy, i love you! i know.. - this version is a keeps for me, because it is a diary type poem that reflects my odd mood with the place on June 23rd - i was in a 'sometimes its sooo beautiful here i can't stand it ARGGGHHH!!!!..' kind of mood to begin with! but i'll try to edit away on the first bit, rewrite might be interesting to do, - think it needs more before, 'Darkness..' than starting where you suggested, whatever the tone of it is to become - some set up description that works to settle the reader into the day time scene, becoming night time and the story to daytime again..i might just have a go tonight, but i'm packing! Too much beachlife even for me!! Sometimes its all too peachy! Thanks griffy, that's a great griffy comment, cheers xx

artisus on 18-07-2008
Wood Stacks June 23rd
yeah I must agree with Egriff, told you how I felt when I read the poem, I think that Egriff's suggestion is very very wise.....

Xxx

Author's Reply:
i'll try a re write, tried to explain a bit to griffy, needs more set up before 'Darkness -did i say i was in an odd mood? i've been having words with the Style Council. I might have a go later with a cup of tea, cheers / its just odd, this poemy diary poem, alwayzz haszbeeen, hallwayz whhilbeee, so tis a keepsake! thanks nic! xxx

Jolen on 20-07-2008
Wood Stacks June 23rd
Hi Nicky,
Hey, I sent you an email with some thoughts about your poem, which I really enjoyed reading, but find I do agree with the above comments.

I loved the descriptions in this and this line just slips over the reader like silk :
"Sunset is falling a shawl around shoulders
in just peachy pink blaze golden wands of warmth! "

~sighs~

lovely work.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
i like it a lot - thank you Jolen - good idea, and i will come back to this /i must pack etc now urgently! - jumping off an old pirate ship at 5.30 for my last swim, and can't keep her waiting, oooo=la=la! *faints* - better go now, i'll leave your idea for the start here - nice one, thanks a lot xx:o)

Sunset is falling a shawl around shoulders
in just peachy pink blaze golden wands of warmth!
Let it be tassels, frays, and knots in big soft dots
swirling on a sky’s silky stretch. Let it be
wrapped in dusk’s sweet breath.
Wood stacks along the beaches for St John,
for luck, for the summer months to come,
for the little boats fishing lines home –
families build fire beacons on their patch of sandy turf,
throw sand, wriggle toes in surf, and gather
to eat together, throw the dog a bone,
sundry tomatoes in the first rays of summer.
Darkness
Strike the match;

Sunken on 27-07-2008
Wood Stacks June 23rd
Hello Ms. Ditty. I think this is a corker. My phone line got molested by a tree last weekend, before I could comment )-: This is definitely worth a Bernard. I'm on the wrong pc tho, so I'll whack one on it later. I especially like the sunset/shawl line and the fireworks bouquet one. You're more than a touch of class, Ms. Ditty, you're a bloody big lorry full of the stuff. Thank you.

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sold to the girl with ferris-wheel eyes

Author's Reply:
really? oh sunken, i don't know...i've been having words with The Style Council recently and so i am now well confused and in danger of buying hair products from Boots - do you you think i should just post willy-nilly and quite shamelessly like i used to? i'm a bit disorganised at the mo. .. do you like bagels? I thought id write a poem with a bagel in it...any way i'm glad you and Bernard liked, thanks, your comment has made me quite cheery, as does this sunshine, nothing like a scorchio English heatwave to bring on the smiles...hope you are enjoying the sun too - Dit of Doc Green xxx

Sunken on 28-07-2008
Wood Stacks June 23rd
Yes! Go for it, Ms. Ditty. Be both willy and nilly. I do like bagels incidentally. I have never read poem that contained said delicacy (at least I don't think I have).
So you're back in sunny England? Enjoy the weather while it lasts. It's bound to pee down soon. Anyway, here's the Bernard I promised. Sorry he's late. He's been missing all weekend. I don't know what he's been up to but he stinks of kebab and cheap perfume. Sorry.

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Author's Reply:


if the dress (posted on: 18-07-08)
140 word flash

flashfiction from the May sarong collection 🙂 ... if the dress The busy tailor, and the hard-working seamstress, too hot for May, whispers '...hear your woman is wearing her sarong? say they saw her dance flamenco in the square, say she was a diamond kite in the night sky tooseen your woman rough diamond the clouds?say she laughs in the streets every day a painting and say it's scandalous; there were photographs...' The tailor looks up and smiles, 'I hear my woman is wearing her sarong like a kite, dancing at the beach in the moonlight while I am working on the ribbons and frays' and the seamstress blushes by the window embroidering the sash with petals, 'yes...yes...I'm listening out for her too...' laying her template on the cloth, no straight lines to cut - 'if the dress' she said, the afternoon she wore her sarong to the beach.
Archived comments for if the dress
artisus on 18-07-2008
if the dress
cut "flash photographs".

this ---> good!!!!
xxX

Author's Reply:
:Oo why are the lines soo long????? oh bother, cut flash photographs eh....? good idea :o) will fiddle, inrternet is rubbish right now 🙁 thank nic xx

discopants on 18-07-2008
if the dress
Very visual, as ever. Funnily enough, I was having a debate the other day about why men are tailors and women are seamstresses and what difference there is, if any. Yep, it was a slow day...

dp

Author's Reply:
thanks discopop, think the difference is, most places in the world, tailors still get paid more... Yep - visually layered and a bit cute, im having a 'nope, i don't like this one write either...' time of it at the mo, so appreciate you stopping by Mr Pants, thanks, Ditty of Writer's Elbow xx:o)

Sunken on 19-07-2008
if the dress
Hello Ms. Ditty Dot Com. I still haven't found my sarong poem. I do have one somewhere. My files are in a right mess. I blame poor housekeeping. As Disco has already said, this is very visual. I like the kite line the bestest and no mistake. Long may you fly, Ms. Ditty on the Dash... dot com.

Rated - A kitchen appliance of your own choosing.

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his late optical mouse lies buried beside an old oak tree

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - sarong poems - they're everywhere all around, i keep finding another as i'm cleaning out the apartment, and i havent started on my papers yet :Oo - Madame Pilar said i was to use bleach, so i'm having to take many allergic breaks at the Kebabe shop for a cuddle and an espresso - Can i have a new sink please? Long may i fly - blooming typical, Ive just met the Captin of a beautiful old pirate sailing ship called Olympic 111 who wants help to sail to Amsterdam, and i booked Easy Jet well in advance to be an organised type for a change *pfs* - that's too sad about the mouse, too sad ---> i need another expresso no mistake - thanks munky, Ditty on the Verge xxx

orangedream on 19-07-2008
if the dress
A little gem, ld. I also did one for the sarong thingie I never posted but I too have lost it. Must have a hunt.

Really enjoyed this:-)

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina, really glad you liked, thanks for telling me - if we find all these sarong poems we should make a book, oooo! - Where do they go?? it's a blooming mystery, may be some are not sarongs and are in fact magic carpets? Oh i don't know :o) Cheers Tina xx:o)

Rupe on 22-07-2008
if the dress
I agree about cutting 'flash photographs'. It introduces a jarring note, somehow, after 'photographs'.

Otherwise, this is a great prose poem; sensuous, mysterious & intriguing, piquing the reader's curiosity without giving answers.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
tis done, i've cut flash photographs, and i miss it a bit! lol! glad it was sensuous, mysterious, intriguing etc, that's good to hear, thanks for commenting Rupe - cheers

Doughnut on 27-07-2008
if the dress
I thought the image was vivid - a bit like an imprssionist painting. Was the last comment in the sense "if the dress fits?" Though maybe you could have dropped the quote marks and gone for capitalisation on this one. Loved it, anyway. Doughnut.

Author's Reply:
Hi Doughnut, glad you thought it vivid, that's great, yes 'if the dress (fits...)' and as an espression 'If the something', a little known expression! but one that is said in a kind of flippant rejection of something considered a bit iffy...perhaps she didn't much like the dress, so wore her sarong to the beach, who knows?...oh dear did that make any sense?! If the last sentence! *pfs* I'll try with capitals when i next look at this one and see what it looks like, thanks for the idea, cheers Doughnut


He died I think (posted on: 16-06-08)
may edit, thanks for all comments 🙂

He died I think He died I think, not on the trolley in the corridor it was later, perhaps in a cubicle, or a bed, I can't remember I can't remember anything before or after the trolley except for a Christmas Cat who had appeared to die, with me, in spasms on one of the few nights of the year when there was no Vet working, no shops, no people in the building, no numbers to call, except yours; just a cardboard box I made soft as possible and this Christmas Cat, in spasms, it must have gone on for ages, nobody to help me, or him. I tried to find a way to get him some water, I can't remember I can't remember anything more, except phoning you saying 'I think he's dying...come quick' and you were so disgraceful as usual, it felt cruel, even though that's just how some are when they are ugly and hurting inside, when they can't easily see another exists, so all I could do was rest my hand on his body, listening to the throes of different languages, pretending I could understand, Cat, right there in the corridor, while he flailed gracefully through darkness, light, and left.
Archived comments for He died I think
artisus on 16-06-2008
He died I think
very very nice Nicky xx

Author's Reply:

woodbine on 16-06-2008
He died I think
I don't know what's nice about dying, or even thinking about dying or about trying to get in touch with this mysterious and improbable process to which we are all cruising, which is where this poem comes in. Death is the last big puzzle for which we hold so few pieces that only a poet can do anything with them. Good try. First hand experience is essential the older you get.

John

Author's Reply:

Romany on 16-06-2008
He died I think
An interesting poem. The poor cat. Why was that person so cruel I wonder? At least you showed compassion.

A couple of typos - dying - not dieing, and throes not throws (I think that's what you meant?)

Romany.

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 16-06-2008
He died I think
Pure poetry. Am adding it to my faves, nomming it ... when that becomes possible at the end of the month and voting with my fingers ... and my heart.

Tina:-)xx

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 17-06-2008
He died I think
nicely balanced, the obvious and the hidden (slightly) themes



Author's Reply:


We have walked... (posted on: 16-06-08)
- bit late, is it summer already? last years walk and hello Spring 08 poem

We have walked... We have walked through memory mansions And turned antiques in the light of the sun Examining their principles of creativity, Finding the life force in objects, Reading tapestry stories carpeting stone walls. We have climbed the staircases of turrets, Carved slit windows through rock And surveyed the historic landscape of home, The stone walls running veins through woodland and pasture Those stacked bricks of mountains and fallen towers. We have strolled gardens of abandoned beauty, The magnificent design of labyrinth and fountain, And Rose planted gardens for the blind To know the shape and movement of fauna there, To walk alone through the ploughed fields home. We have descended to The Library's damp walls, Oak table, solid chair, candlelight, quill, ink and parchment, Sliding wooden ladders to the highest shelves, We have sat with him or her in the silence of just before dawn Running our fingertips down the index pages and spines of heavy books. We have felt the cold rheumatoid hands, the pains of others, And the absolute shades of grey in visions; lantern light, Oil of Atlas cedar wood warming cherry fires, the comfort Of hand sprung armchairs at the hearth, lifting the sash On Victorian windows, burning manuscripts in summer fires. We have floated by the mottled silver of mirrors To kitchen's pantry and all still life, Melting the wax off apples with the hunger of an eye, Slicing fertile loaves and cold meats for a wooden tray. We have made baskets, for rivers, and gratitude. We have poured milk from terracotta jugs, And at sunset goblets of wine from simple urns, Wooden cups, blackjacks, flagons and measures, The Fleur de Ville metal suits of armour's thirsty arms outstretched, The flower cup of love pouring black skies milky white with stars. We have waded through flooded cellars, drowned in passages of wine, Seen Gunpowder plots and walked the tinder box planks of theatres, Stepping out alone onto an empty stage, we have played Where The Pit bears witness, fruit is thrown, the light shines, And people pray their own way on the dusty long way home. Through stone walls, burning slats and cobbled streets We have wondered like children at the moving stories in wallpaper, Roasted chestnuts and sweet potatoes, roots on metal drums, Flown a year of nature, the changing man with the changing woman, Kerosene, fire jugglers, the sweat of labour, the sweat of love. We have walked through dewy grass on a Spring morning And listened to the cicada on starry nights, We have danced in rays of the moon, pulled truth from weaves of light, Found joy in the colours of the sun, the rain, the footsteps we take To walk our very own Rainbow. Hail! Spring! mar08
Archived comments for We have walked...
orangedream on 17-06-2008
We have walked...
"We have felt the cold rheumatoid hands, the pains of others,
And the absolute shades of grey in visions; lantern light,
Oil of Atlas cedar wood warming cherry fires, the comfort
Of hand sprung armchairs at the hearth, lifting the sash
On Victorian windows, burning manuscripts in summer fires"

ld - I feel that every one of these ten fine stanzas tells a story and perhaps none more so than this one.

What a rich tapestry you weave with your words, as is, of course, your speciality.

I enjoyed the journey you took me on with this poem. Thank you:-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
thanks Tina - a sleepy armchair write, glad you enjoyed the read - may be there are a couple more stanzas down the back of the armchair?! :Oo - cheers for your lovely comment xxx

red-dragon on 17-06-2008
We have walked...
Fantastic - no nib? And only one comment!
We always say we are building a cathedral on our journey through life and I loved your images. I too rate it a 10.
Ann
PS nibbers......

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann -a cathedral is a nice idea, this is a tower, i think there are walls in the poem made by old fallen towers? - i'd like a cute little wooden house with a huge veranda! glad you enjoyed the read -thanks for telling me -nibs are scarce this days -i'm happy with lovely comments - and guess what? a Bernard -who could ask for more?! :o) Nicky xx

Sunken on 18-06-2008
We have walked...
Hello Ms. Ditty of Dot Green. I agree with Ms. Red of Dragon Square, this deserves a nib and no mistake to be sure. I don't have my Bernard code on this pc, so I'll try to get on from my other later. I blame bad planning. Your poem reminds me of a Cornetto. Ya know, the one that's covered in nuts? It's my fave. Why am I always on about food? Thank you, Ms. Ditty. I trust this comment finds you in positions relative to contentment and that you are no longer plagued by itchy legs.
Yours sincerely,

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wheelbarrow 2 - moped 4

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - wheelbarrow 2 - moped 4 - *astonished* do you have an ancient crystal skull?? or have you been to see that Yuri fella of spoon bending fame? I live above a Ice cream parlour, its so good, people queue down the street on the weekends - pure chocolate and a mango scoop today i think, i have fond memories of Cornettos, and my itchy legs are fine thanks -i have itchy feet instead and will be travelling the world shortly, reporting in about foodstuffs of different cultures throughout the year. I hope your rash is under control, and that you and Bernard are enjoying life. Thank you for the Bernard - i shall file accordingly when i become an organised person, and etc, oh yes indeed :o)
Ditty xxx

Sunken on 18-06-2008
We have walked...
As promised, Ms. Ditty.



Author's Reply:

teifii on 19-06-2008
We have walked...
What a wonderful rich tapestery. Quite a feast.
My favourite lines
The flower cup of love pouring black skies milky white with stars.
and
And people pray their own way on the dusty long way home.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - glad you thought so - thanks for commenting - i'm waaaaay behind on reading - will pop around to yours now, if the internet fairy is willing - she is a snail, this internet fairy! Cheers Daff xx

Munster on 19-06-2008
We have walked...
Well I can only say what a poem, I have read this through many times.

Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony Munster - glad you enjoyed the read, it's what it is here for -thanks for commenting, much appreciated- Nicky x


Nostalgia in Bloom (posted on: 09-06-08)
poem, i blame blossoms...

Nostalgia in Bloom Book me in to the best hotel you can imagine, a real dive, somewhere special, it's unimportant because I'm coming to get you listen out for the gravel under the tyre of my old Karman Ghia, revived, for the purpose of this trip - post-box red, 1965. I'll have polished the curves, packed a picnic under the hood, and she'll purr along the open road, stop, in those traditional neighbourhoods where I am yours - and you, you are mine. So book me in my love, and we'll go slow enough to see the bees kiss the pink almond scent of springtime blossom, slow enough to remember each time we have felt anything quite like this. (c)feb08
Archived comments for Nostalgia in Bloom
orangedream on 09-06-2008
Nostalgia in Bloom
Ld, this is beautiful. Perfection, as far as I'm concerned at any rate.

"...slow enough to see the bees kiss ..."

... is one of my favourite lines.

The ending blew me away - but gently, of course.

Tina:-)x

Author's Reply:
my favourite line too :)) glad you liked, thanks Tina xx

Emerald on 09-06-2008
Nostalgia in Bloom
Great poem, really enjoyed reading 🙂

Emma x


Author's Reply:
thanks Emma, glad you enjoyed, cheers xx:)

discopants on 09-06-2008
Nostalgia in Bloom
https://www.msu.edu/user/tomlins4/ghia.gif

Nice...

Author's Reply:
😀 that's her! xx cheers disco

Futant on 10-06-2008
Nostalgia in Bloom
This is very beautiful. I also really like the line "slow enough to see the bees kiss ". And I love this line particularly "the pink almond scent of springtime". It's just....Sigh.... But are you talking about the car, or about a person.


Author's Reply:
Hi there - glad you liked - a poem about Nostalgia, really - a pink spectacled past adventure with a bit of *Sigh* factor 40 suncream for a daydream - bloomin' blossoms all year round in Tenerife, feeling a bit blossomy again now the jacaranda trees are out - has spring hit norf London yet?! Or is it summery? Miss the parks at this time of year -hope you are fine -still havent read your piece yet -will do... :o)

Futant on 11-06-2008
Nostalgia in Bloom
Jacaranda trees. They sound groovy as does Tenerife…. I’ve just looked them up, very purple. Well, it’s somewhat warmish here and the parks I’ve been to seem to be full of naked people and barbeques. I hope that helps.

Author's Reply:
NAKED PEOPLE IN lONDON IN jUNE *EEEWE* all pasty grey folk with red bits - fortunately i have the beach - Tenerife was a good place for me to spend time writing - time to leave now though - catch a bbq in London soon -good idea - it helps! (where did your piece go? *pfs*:o)

ifyouplease on 09-12-2015
Nostalgia in Bloom
hi there Nicky, i hope you're fine, and i hope you will soon decide to post a brand new poem, this one is lovely and vibrant

sent you a pm with my new email address.

x

Author's Reply:


Sea blue crystal (posted on: 09-06-08)
poem -i blame the Sarong challenge...

Sea blue crystal aquamarine turquoise sea blue crystal white light crests roaring air rolling sound snaking rocks rocking long harmonic breath exhaled tones spilling waves sluicing waterfalls sweeping volcanic plateau rock pool shore bound surf stretches leaning impressions traversing stone sarong skin pore cliff tidal-pull-wash beckoning back to sea tender jagged wet shell rock pool waking life white lightening fireworks sea blue crystal dreams confetti flowering word shoals intimate aquamarine solid indigo darkening depths opening violet fathoms peddling stretch runners longing azure horizon bordering sky arching curves returning light-lapis cloud lines sun tints pink sunset flamingo golden amber slash red flare lavas wet sand dry rose golden embers white bubbles inhale turquoise to malachite
Archived comments for Sea blue crystal
artisus on 09-06-2008
Sea blue crystal
yes, the Sarong poem, a beautiful poem which unfortunately didn't submit in time for the weekly challenge.. o.O
*she has a collection of sarong poems!*
🙂
xx

Author's Reply:
bloomin' sarongs....glad you like this one -my impressionistic sarong dontchaknow - the pointilist sarong disappeared, i'd better go and find the seamstress and the tailor, before the Japanese flag on a washing line gets me in trouble.....:Oo thanks nic xx

Sunken on 10-06-2008
Sea blue crystal
Hello Ms. Ditty on the Dash. This is a very colourful piece. Tell me, is this fact reflective of a favourite sarong? I wrote a poem about a girl in a sarong once. I can't find it tho. This ultimately means that I have just informed you of something that has no bearing on anything. As I remember, it was a blue sarong and she was very beautiful. You might also be interested to note that I have been spending most of this morning licking the lid of life. It gives me great pleasure to inform you, Ms. Ditty on the Dot, that it currently tastes of apricot. I think you'll agree, this is both fascinating and surprising. After all, I was under the impression that the british board of lid lickers had banned said flavour? They reckoned it broke EU rules regarding happiness. I blame Tracey Ullman. Anyway, I hope this has helped in some small way. A smashing piece and no mistake.

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prefers waiting

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - i love fruit - i wrote a poem about mango a while back when i realised i had a prejudice against the simile - i think they are generally a bit cheesey - Glad you are licking the lid of life, i've found myself writing things across the sky with a tin of Graffiti Special - fascinating and surprising is always good- sure beats knowing stuff, that's for sure :o) Thanks for visiting - what can be wrong with apricots? Enjoy - 'happiness is the brightest part of the painting...' fruit basket for you and Bernard - thanks,

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of sarongs

Munster on 11-06-2008
Sea blue crystal
Hi there, I liked this poem the way you express through the colours through this poem.

Tony

Author's Reply:
Hi Tony Munster - living opposite the sea - every day the colours are amazing -glad you liked, thank you, Nicky x

Raindog on 05-07-2008
Sea blue crystal
Vivid and powerful but never overpowering. Excellent stuff!

Author's Reply:
Thanks Raindog - happy you thought so - cheers!


Norm and Tanya (posted on: 06-06-08)
poem

Norm and Tanya J.D, Coke, smoke, sister's leaning on the bar, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her coat getting in another round - standards slip along the frets of the guitar; a real good looker took me under, no T.J. - Marley - only Hooker, twirling on the B string, twirling on the G string, dancing over the notes like a real pro - when in comes Norm: mic stand in his hand, my brother-in-law Norm - he's the best - plays Harp like Bob, 'Hey Sis!' he says, kiss kiss, '...It's all in The Breath...' plays blues and you'd understand he's the true son of a preacher man, lifts me up, toots the talk, toe tapping it up to God with The Band, plays Roots Harp for the heart to love again, my Brother Norm...kicks ass from the bandstand, smiles over a tray of tinkle from the bar, standards slip along the frets of the guitar. (c)mar08)
Archived comments for Norm and Tanya
e-griff on 06-06-2008
Norm and Tanya
I had to read this a couple of times to fully appreciate it ...
but it was well worth it. Some fine mind-weaving here.

Author's Reply:
thanks griffy, glad you liked xx

artisus on 06-06-2008
Norm and Tanya
a video for you Tanya and Norm



Author's Reply:
thanks nic, i'll watch later at the cafe 🙂 xx

deepoceanfish2 on 06-06-2008
Norm and Tanya
littleditty,

What a fantastic weave! Made me rock with the read. Foot tapping joy. Absolutely loved this! Nicely done.

Regards,
Adele

Author's Reply:
Hi Adele, glad you liked it - thanks 🙂

MywordsandI on 06-06-2008
Norm and Tanya
I liked this, I even made a rift, this is a song or a poem, would love to hear this, my reading tempo was upbeat, in fact fast, and it worked sweet!

Nice!

Author's Reply:
Hi MywordsandI, a bit musical this one, glad you liked - welcome to uka :o)

eddiesolo on 06-06-2008
Norm and Tanya
Interesting this one LD.

I enjoyed very much.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Hi Si:-) ...'twirling on the G string..' *giggles* thanks, glad you enjoyed the read xx:o)

Sunken on 07-06-2008
Norm and Tanya
Hello Ms. Ditty. Good to see you back. I like your poem more than Robert Smith's smudged lipstick. I especially like the line about Norm being the true son of a preacher man. You have been missed, Ms. Ditty. I shall have a twix in your honour shortly. I hope this meets with your approval. Thank you.

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celebrates spelling mistakes

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - i've just not been paying enough attention - i blame the electrics -and not knowing which day it is...tis true, i am as quiet as a haiku of shells reading about Toenails and Angles these days - very good to read Sunken of Turnips again - especially with an apple and some cheese and onion crisps - naturally, none
of the local brands taste like Golden Wonder, or Walkers, but a Twix is a Twix -a fine idea, thanks for visiting - may all your trips to Argos bring you much joy these coming months,

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of flip flops

orangedream on 07-06-2008
Norm and Tanya
Hi there, ld. I'm so glad it wasn't only me who was literally tapping their foot in time as I was reading this little gem. Throughly enjoyed every word and I'm with sunks - love the line about the preacher man. Great song that!

Enjoyed, loads!

Tina:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina -glad you liked it :o) thanks - popping over to your place now for a little read -hope you are well, and that the sun is shining, Tenerife is being all unusually cloudy, makes the sea look English! Baileys coffee to your G&T - cheers Tina xx

Rosco on 17-06-2008
Norm and Tanya
"Harp like Bob" Comparisons to his Bobness are very unwise. Straight to the bottom of artistic discretion. Massive flakes peel off the hull of credibility. Have a nice day!

Author's Reply:
Yes Indeed -Norm plays Harp like Norm - did Bob rhyme with something? Oh dear - and this was supposed to be several true stories - have you seen my wheelbarrow? Perhaps a Lenny quotation would have been better? Cohen, not George and Lenny - i saw one down the street - have a nce day you too! xx



gwirionedd on 26-06-2015
Norm and Tanya
Norm plays harp??

Bob Marley played harp????

I drink Harp like George Best.


Author's Reply:


Door in a Field (posted on: 28-03-08)
poem - oops - i didnt realise i had subbed anything today! I've changed the poem - 'That's Life, my dear...' for this one poem here..

Door in a Field It's not so dramatic, of course - the door was in a field, the middle of a huge field, just there in its frame, slightly ajar; and so unwelcome guests would leave quickly, the broom tucked in the groove left for hinges to feel their weight; creak, loosen, and sense some movement in the breeze, because there was a breeze in this particular field, and I knew it was a field because it was green, not black and white like in the dreams people have, not in colour either, or there would have been sky, some trees, -and cows would have appeared chewing the cud, -and although this now has already happened, -and other things too, people running around from tree to cow, building things, having revolutions, I left the door right there slightly ajar, and watched from a wicker chair like Van Gogh's, upset with how the field is so easily cluttered with trees, cows, and people running round in circles when I thought what I wanted was a clean frame to imagine irises like he painted by walking backwards away from canvas, or seeing you walking through the door, looking just fine, carrying some shopping bags from your favourite place somewhere in the green field that I was on the very edge of, wondering where the door had gone, and why I was sitting by the banks of the same river watching the litter pass, scuffing my trainers on the brickwork, waiting for the ferryman, trying to cats-cradle beams of light mar27/08
Archived comments for Door in a Field
orangedream on 28-03-2008
Door in a Field
An interesting concept, ld;-) Actually, I did find a door in a field once, but it was horizontally challenged at the time! Amazing, sometimes. This fly-tipping!

So much in this poem of yours - like looking at one of those enormous paintings in the Tate or the like.

Particularly liked the lines:-

'.. I thought what I wanted was a clean frame
to imagine irises like he painted..'

I shall keep dipping in and out of this one;-)

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - thanks, tis a poem about another poem,poems, and my work - 'the kids i know and the upset chair' is another poem - lol! - the internet connection is good at the mo -i'm going off to catch up on my reading -happy Spring Tina xx oh -have you ever seen Irises in a gallery -amazing! amaaaazing!

Yutka on 28-03-2008
Door in a Field
a wonderful image, Nicky: a door in a field...you painted it well. And the frustration too about the clutter and the noise of the people running around in circles...
I love the last line about the cats-cradle too.
For me the word "only" was not necessary. I think it might make a stronger end if left out.
But that is just my feeling. What do others think?
Yutka:)

Author's Reply:
You are right! and it should have been snipped *pfs* what is it doing there? Thank you Yutka -yea, tis a painting one - thanks for reading and your good comments, cheers, Nicky xx

Jolen on 28-03-2008
Door in a Field
Hi Nicky;

Well, you know that I love the poem. I still think that you may wish to think about putting 'slightly' at the beginning of the next line and leaving out 'and' in that line. I agree, too about removing 'only' in your last line, as I have already told you. But regardless of these, the poem is quite effective and very appealing to me in a host of ways. Well done, little ditty of the poetic persuasion. 😉

Blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen -i'll think about that again -but slightly and ajar, wanted to be like that - this poem is on its hinges! Thanks for all that you have pointed out, it needed editing, still does, just glad you liked, thanks Jolen, did you post? ---> going to see, cheers xx



Ah! it's the broom behind the door that makes unwelcome guests leave quickly -did you see that? that's why tis like that..



and so unwelcome guests would leave quickly,

the broom tucked in the groove left for hinges

to feel their weight




Jolen on 28-03-2008
Door in a Field
Hi Sweetie:
Yes, I posted and yes, I understood that. I still feel that the 'and' isn't needed, but, hey, what do I know? You know? I love this poem. It's just a personal observation.



Author's Reply:

Sunken on 28-03-2008
Door in a Field
Hi Miss Ditty. Love this. I love it so much I've baked it a cake. It came out crap though. I blame yeast. You do put yeast in cakes? Anyway, I have a revamped Bernard to whack on this. Please forgive me if it doesn't work. I'm not sure if the code's right. I blame photobucket. A truly smashing write, Ms. Ditty.

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Author's Reply:
really? Dear Sunks -i have missed Bernard, is he ok? my mum's dog was really sick this year, it was awful, -eventually they pulled out 10 lumps of only who knows what from her stomach -she's fine now - Vets - i wish i understood better what poems people would like - i'm glad you and Bernard liked this one - thanks sunk,



ditty of no shoes, barcode on a cloud



xxx

(you baked a cake? can i offer you some Smarties to decorate the top? sorry, i ate all the orange ones...ditz xxx)

Rosco on 29-03-2008
Door in a Field
trying to make cats-cradle with beams of light

trying to cats-cradle beams of light

I think by making cats-cradle a verb it rotates faster (than prose).

Author's Reply:
yes -that's better for meaning somehow but is harsher sound *thinks* i shall give it a whirl-thanks Ross

e-griff on 29-03-2008
Door in a Field
then how about:

'trying to beam cat's-cradled light' ?

*ho-hums*

Author's Reply:
oh *ho-hums* - i cant have beaming cats in the poem griffy -sorry about this - i am going to give Ross's suggestion a go - ho-hums all round - may Monday's poems be full of chirps, odds against - off to read yours now xx (you were pointing at the missing apostrophe weren't you? thanks griffy :D) xx

Jack_Cade on 01-04-2008
Door in a Field
"from tree to cow, building things, having revolutions" is a particularly nice sentiment. The last line is an unusual and arresting image as well, and good use of enjambment in places. I don't think there are any obvious weaknesses, though I do feel it could stand to be more compact.

Author's Reply:
hello -yes - i agree -its too long even for a deep breath - i couldnt cut the bit that needs trimming, but i will have a go in a few days or so, to make it a bit more compact - thanks Mr Cade of no subs hardly ever anymore ...Cheers, Nicky x

Sunken on 01-04-2008
Door in a Field
Dear Ms. Ditty, This isn't the poem I originally commented on!? What is going on? The piece that I was referring to in my in-depth crit was all about a women baking a pizza. Thankfully, the Bernard still stands. I have never had to remove one and do not want to start now. I would, however, appreciate a little more stability with regards to your future submissions. And now, if you do not mind, I have furniture to rearrange. Good day!

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oh - smarties, yes please (-;

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - either you are fibbing, or you don't refresh your browser for many many hours - the people above you were all commenting on the poem about a Door in a field, because i changed the poem quick as a flash when i saw that i had inadvertently subbed here at Uka Village over the Rainbow - the pizza woman is at abc - silly sausage, she was in a right state, poor thing, but when you punch the moon, there are consequences - which i am now suffering -so if you don't mind, i must bid you fair thee well, thanks, and adieu adieu adieu - meanwhile...here's some from Hamlet -what a miserable git he was...did no one teach him how to Rumba?



Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing



Good day! xxx

Sorry -that has nothing to do with anything -i meant to add this quote from Othello

It is the very error of the moon,
She comes more near the earth than she was wont
And makes men mad. (Othello)

now -please excuse me - i must polish the cutlery, thanks xx

Sunken on 01-04-2008
Door in a Field
Well how rude. I can assure, Ms. Ditty on the dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot, dash, dash... you get the picture, that I was definitely commenting on a poem about pizza. I feel a bit daft now to be frank. You have turned me, a serious world class critiquer, into nothing more than a laughing stock. Quoting that Othello geezer isn't going help things either. Tell me, will you be re-subbing said pizza poem? I can't understand why you deleted it. It was a very fine write and no mistake. Not that I should be complimenting you after your outrageous 'fibber' outburst. And now, if you do not mind, I have sinks to scour. Good day!

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he has sinks to scour

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken of Morse, I have a problem - i keep falling asleep, missing subbing days, so i loaded said pizza poem in when it was written, and forgot it was there. Sorry. Then this poem came along, which i knew I wouldnt be able to look at for very long, it hanging off its hinges like that, so i thought i had better get the expert opinions of Ukaneers before it was too late. Indeed it has come to pass -it is too late, opinions have been given, and I have since been reborn under various new pen names so that i can message, evangelise, stalk and attempt to disturb the psyche of other writers who are simply doing their thing: my favourites are:

The Barefoot Gypsy Shoebox Violet Worrier Baby, of Socks on Sea - and, The~Lollypop~Kid, naturally i cant reveal the others...anyway -thanks for still talking to me after my outburst about fibbing or refreshing, please forgive me, you are Sunken of Sinks and always lovely, and as I also have scouring to attend to - i'll bid you Good Day. Thanks. xx


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tics off winking season

(the stuff about my fake ID's a fib - i was practising fibbing,thanks:)

Sunken on 02-04-2008
Door in a Field
Dear Ms. Ditty, I have filed your sleep problem under 'S' for sleep. I shall attend to it in finer detail at the weekend. I may even wear my tie. I have studied your previous explanation regarding browser refreshing and have come to the conclusion that your suspicions may indeed be worthy of further investigation. Incidentally, you might be interested to note that my standing in the world of critique has not suffered unduly from your recent slur. I am still considered hopeless, but hope to attain 'pretty rubbish' status before the end of the year. You must surely know by now that I could never stay mad at you for long. Even when I'm only pretending to be mad I feel guilty. I am at loss as to why this is so. I can only assume that your cute avatar might have subconsciously influencing my views. Thank you for time. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have work surfaces to cleanse. Good day.

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he has work surfaces to cleanse. Good day!

Author's Reply:
Sunken of Professionalism - if you don't mind i'll keep this brief, what with folk having so much business to attend to - i've been thinking about your cake - wondered if you also use self raising flour or bicarbonate of soda? I dont know anything about baking, perhaps bicarbonate of soda is also cleaning product? i'm not sure. I am off the supermarket to get some non allergenic aloe vera cleaning products and Malteasers - pop to the post office as i have parcels to post - and then i'm off to La Gomera - a cute little island just across the sea - will you please sub some poems? Thanks xx:o)

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allergic to Brut!


Good day!

artisus on 03-04-2008
Door in a Field
this is a better poem than the one you had submitted, very very good. keep up the good work! xxx

Author's Reply:
you didn't like the crying pizza woman? i like the little pics, i like writing them, reportage - glad you liked this one - Thanks nic, i'll try xxx

eddiesolo on 24-04-2008
Door in a Field
Hello my dearest Nic.

I really like this-you are a master (IMO) of painting pictures with your words.

I enjoyed, very mucho.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Si :)) Si!!!!! Hello :o) Where have you been?¿ Are you ok? Glad you like this one - i just write it down -would prefer to be a painter or musician, but never learned well enough either -better get myself a guitar and open the paintbox i think - hope you are well Si - i´m recovering from a bout of rewiring - getting my energy back, hope your eyes are doing well, will get over to your patch soon as i can xxx


Us and Them (posted on: 24-03-08)
poem

Us and Them They wanted to run before they could walk, and so, took up flying rather young. They wanted to speak before they could talk, and so took up silence; quite stubbornly. When life flashes before the eyes, and it does, the last words they want to say, are 'Make your life beautiful! Make your life profound!' So let's get busy in the quiet, let's get busy, one step at a time
Archived comments for Us and Them
Jolen on 24-03-2008
Us and Them
Oh yeah, it makes sense and is very well done. Clever work, again, my dear little dittypop. So you're feeling the tarot call to you too, eh? How glorious.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jolen - this wasn't really a Tarot one like ive been doing, this was more a little bit of encouragement poem - but i wonder how it feels to read it for others! Cheers Jolen of Snowy England, i have a little bit more confidence in this one poem now....am i right to??/ Oh...rolfs! xx

Jolen on 24-03-2008
Us and Them
I knew I shouldn't have mentioned the tarot here, I was only referring to our chat. sorry. LOL Yes, you need to have faith in your poem! I sure do!

Author's Reply:
thanks - xx

Macjoyce on 24-03-2008
Us and Them
I wish I could make my life beautiful and profound. Unfortunately, there are too many people around me going "Nyur nyur nyur nyur nyur nyur nyur nyur nyur". Maybe I should go and live in a lighthouse, or just shoot them all.


Author's Reply:
Mac - do you mean ner ner ner ner ner? oh dear, yes, know what you mean, unless you meant nyur nyur nyur etc? - may be you should do both? Film Noir? Not guns and stuff surely?? May be. Oh i dont know - I'd like to come visit - bulbs gone in mine -filaments, filaments - good job there's a strong moon -possibly...hm. decisions decisions and bulbs, thanks mac xxx:o) ditty of the footwear department...

Macjoyce on 24-03-2008
Us and Them
If I shot films noir about people, they'd be extremely boring films noir. God, how tedious humanity is. No, I mean shooting them to fuck with a bloody big machine gun and cackling as their no-good worthless blood splats all over each other's ugly, tripe-spouting blank-expressioned faces. Ha ha haaaa! and a bottle of grog.


Author's Reply:
LOL!!!! Oh Macdoodle - oil of evening primrose will be of no help to you - please, pass the grog - lets growl xx

Munster on 24-03-2008
Us and Them
This is so true, its all about communication sometimes that little rebel in us creeps out in the strangest ways. And we miss the rare gift of opportunity.
enjoyed the read
Thanks

Author's Reply:
Hello Munster - i enjoyed your comment - i am thinking about the little rebel and missed opportunities -thank you xxldx

artisus on 25-03-2008
Us and Them
strange one but quite good. i think i got it. now if you'll excuse me.. xx

Author's Reply:
you think? thanks.. did you fiddle with pronouns?! I am not sure -i wanted to link the first two couplets with the last two lines better - xxx

Sunken on 27-03-2008
Us and Them
Ahhh... I do miss your poems Ms. Ditty. This one has meaning. It's like a mini instruction manual to life. Am I talking balls? Probably. I like it though. By the way, I just heard from Ms. Buggins that Ms. Booty has gone to Japan. I am mad and no mistake! Booty knows how I worry, but did she tell me where she was going? Did she hell! It's a disgrace! There are forms that should have been filled in and sent to me in triplicate for approval. If you hear from her could you please relay my disgust? Hope you are well.

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shedding new light on apples

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken -are you juggling? They say it balances the left and right sides of the brain. It is indeed a mini instruction manual - i have needed instruction ever since i gave up map reading as a child - but there is no point in Tokyo, you give directions from noodle shop to noodle shop - and now i have given up instructions, which may prove to be extremely foolish -because i dont have a wheelbarrow, and im in danger of falling in love with the first woman i meet - do you like Bob? I didnt know that Booty had gone to Japan - that is disgraceful that there is no paperwork - perhaps she'll fax? I'm fine - hope you are too - thanks sunk, have you seen my chair?

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of the footwear department

BaBy_PoeT on 10-05-2008
Us and Them
i been studying film noir this year they are actually quite interesting but my teacher seems to be a bit sexist keeps calling the women 'big bitches' but i think they are masterminds lol.
oh and back to lilmsD's write
it was wonderfuuuullll lol
i enjoyed it very much haven't read anything of yours in a while,
hope your well
take care
xXx-B-P-xXx

Author's Reply:
LOL! Good for you BP :)) heeheee! Glad you enjoyed the write, thanks for reading, LilMsG
(sorry, can´t help it: your=you´re -*grrrr* and *pfs*:)) hope you´re well too BP! xx


Another Chardonnay (posted on: 22-02-08)
...

Another Chardonnay And you my passion breeze through These orange curtains like you own the place, Pad along the cool ceramic floor with fiery strides To the bar, heating the marble, raiding cupboards, Growling; and I'm here watching you pace; Find the bottle, put it to your lips, and drink Like it's a long cold winter's night, Wipe your mouth, sigh through your teeth, While here I am, smiling fisherman's trousers tied Around my hips, sun blazing down on the sarong, Skin listening to those warm sea breezes, Listening - to a lusty blonde called Chardonnay Tell me my troubles over the rim of her glass eye. You take another swig; slam the bottle on the bar, Yawn, stretch like a bear, step onto the porch, I hear you say - What a perfect name Strike a match on the doorframe, Light a cigar; pick Tequila from the larder Chardonnay wants another spiked Pina Colada What a perfect name"And you?" I reach for the bottle, put it to my lips, and drink Like it's a long cold winter's night, "Whatever You're having, Babe - I'll have the same"
Archived comments for Another Chardonnay
Romany on 22-02-2008
Another Chardonnay
Now this is stunning! Some fabulous imagery, full of a latent energy and some sensual observations. At first I thought we were observing a cat, but I was wrong. There are so many possibilities to this piece. I just love this.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Uh-oh Romany :o) - i'm really glad you enjoyed this, but fear that your encouragement will have me flicking through the folder marked 'Uh-oh' - really happy it was entertaining though - and ps -i still have a fiddle of one of your writes from a while back hiding in my laptop - i will find it and pm it to you just to see, it was very sonnet like and i fiddled! Will keep looking...thanks for your lovely comment xxx

Sunken on 23-02-2008
Another Chardonnay
Dear Ms. Ditty, I can see you now, Chardonnay in hand, your feet bedecked in clown shoes resting upon a low level coffee table, and a faraway look in your eyes. Do you know what I'm on about yet? No, me neither. I am currently blaming spandex. Smashing stuff, Ms. Ditty. I especially like the 'skin listening' line. Well done on the nom. Hope you are well regarding issues of rashness.

All of my calamine,

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and disorderly

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken -do you come in pill form? I am indeed in a position relative to your descriptive powers - i had almost given up on the internet forever -thank goodness my addiction gave it one last go and low and behold -it is Sunken of Turnips on the Green blaming spandex and speaking my language - thanks munky - Love from me, and Aloe from Vera too :o) xxx

Sunken on 23-02-2008
Another Chardonnay
Giving up on the internet? I won't hear of such a thang. I'll have you know it's the future. Actually, that's bum isn't it? It can't be the future 'cause it's now. I believe spandex to be the future, spandex and turnips. I can't see ipods catching on. I hope this helps.

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he's got duffy beggin' for mercy - yeah, yeah, yeah

Author's Reply:
Not Carol Ann Duffy??? I don't believe a word of it... I would just like to say i have just watched three footy matches with the lovely folk at Starburst Fish, Chip and Movie Memorabilia Emporium on Sea - and they serve proper mushy peas - ipods shmypods - its all about the peas Sunken of Turnips, now and forever - let's just wait and see about the spandex revival - could just be a fad? - thanks. Ditty of Doc Green xxx

artisus on 23-02-2008
Another Chardonnay
Nicky-san this is a very good poem, I agree with Romany, glad it has already been nominated, cool read.
love
Nicoletta-san

Author's Reply:
Dear Nico-chano-popo-san - we agreed it was well written -i'm still not sure if i agree with me about liking or disliking it - it's one of those days - i'm slightly hysterical - this is an improvement which i am grateful for 🙂 Glad you like it - near the end - i can't decide - 'another' spiked - might make that line too long there - what do you think ? another or a or nothing at all there? hm. Thanks - Peace and Love and Blissings, Ol'Nick xxx

Aurelio on 24-02-2008
Another Chardonnay
Definitely well written. You get inspired to drink some more...

Author's Reply:
Glad you think so Aurelio - if it holds the attention and inspires in any good way that's good news -cheers xxldx

teifii on 27-02-2008
Another Chardonnay
It is so clear it's almost like a photograph. Very well deserved nomination.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - that's great if it is a visual one -i was tempted with a few more details but they got snipped, so im glad you thought that :o)i've been thinking about your cats, crosses my mind as I have been writing on a character called Daf, and a disappearance -hope all is well, thanks for commenting Daff xx

margot on 18-03-2008
Another Chardonnay
an excellent and evocative description of the relationship between wine lover and the seductive blonde wine.

Author's Reply:
Gosh margot -sorry, i forgot to answer you -thanks for commenting, glad you thought so, that's great -cheers xxldx

Jolen on 24-03-2008
Another Chardonnay
I didn't get a chance to tell you this, but this poem was over the moon fantastic! I'm elated to see it both nibbed and nominated, as it so richly deserves. GREAT stuff!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Crazy Moon! Glad you liked this one - this was a sunshine poem, thanks Jolen xx

Rosco on 27-03-2008
Another Chardonnay
This is a superb poem although I told Jolen I would like to see it as a piece of erotica next. Your words are so nimbly dancing around something while your eyes are fixed on it.

over the rim of her glass eye

So jealous of that prepostional phrase.

Author's Reply:
Erotic?? i remember a time when i wrote a poem tentatively in a sensual sexy direction and you and Jolen came along and put 'crap read' toilet roll pics on the sub! Hilarious!! but has scarred me for life until this very moment now, when i am completely over your outrageous behaviour and will attempt to write in the genre i find most difficult, i'll go and find that poem Beach, and see if i can improve on that - surely i must be able to!
Thanks Ross, and for comments at abc i found too - toodle pip Mr April xx

Rosco on 10-04-2008
Another Chardonnay
when i wrote a poem tentatively in a sensual sexy direction

Wait a minute. I remember when the barn door got kicked open, and the cattle haven't been seen since. You were casting for a alternative 'Carry On' film down there on the Camden locks when some brown boots kicked up a fuss and you thought an objection was in order. The whole scene cracked open right then and there and Benny Hill's dust rolled. I read it right here.

Author's Reply:
I did? I was? Benny Hill better have got a good slap from me - did this all happen? I had better check - all i remember was a door in a field... by the river, there was LITTER - AH!! i must go and check the litter trail and find out what you are on about -you are probably quite right - what will happen next? nananananananananananananaa, nananananananananananananananananananana, nananananananananananananananananananaa, nanananananananananananananana - thanks.


Clima - his romance... (posted on: 08-02-08)
proseypoem

Clima's coming a warm wind wanders through everything making bells. A glockenspiel knock is ticking the clocks of this clear night, while art is a hungry stomach to consume him, or the hot air balloon to keep him aloft. Hold tight, this lightness all of a sudden doesn't want to be alone. Tug tug tug the soles of his feet on the beach road, his toes wriggling the sand wanting freedom from touches, and yet sensing delight. A near full moon follows paper down the street; a rustle lifts anticipation to salt dry lips. 'Clima's coming' she had whispered, and now her music surfs the wind. Blow accordion, a saxophone, and then the tone of her gypsy violin; she is dancing again on the boulevard before the dusty days sweep in. How art keeps him afloat, buoyant as guide line channels marking the sea with pathways, and she is saying 'come to me', walking, not walking; 'or lift a coin through the gusty air and stay a while' He watches the crowd revel in her song. Gentle night, teasing breeze "Clima's coming can you taste it? Enjoy your breath now before tomorrow takes it. The night is ours survey our land, and sing before the moon is lost in a thick yellow soup of sand." Tonight, for her, there is no returning, and no returning home. She is his beautiful vagabond asking for now in her notes. Today, he thought she was the horizontal body in quicksand, his hand clasping hers from solid ground, saying, 'Float' She didn't understand. She had said she thought he was turning her to stone. Ship masts creak, everything a stretch, the fog wall rolls ''Stay with me this time?'' Where else would she go? ''Stay with me?'' he says, as clima runs amok through the wind chimes. ''Wait the silent hours before it arrives and sleep in clean white sheets. Live with me the three days behind the glass?'' She plays every note of argument, every pull on the string of longing. ''Haven't you had enough?'' She drives the bow through every rebuff slow quick, quick, slow, and her dark eyes clash. The wind lifts him off the path, taunted, but his heart is not a prison, and art need not always be hungry on the road. Now art is a hot air balloon to keep him aloft, and she is in a poem to write when he gets home. She plays that song and he is the ghost who won't be haunted ''Goodbye my love.'' 2 He is as sober as a judge, lucid, but he would not trust himself with an important decision until he has had some soup. He is so tired, the kitchen is as dusty as he, and he needs the straight lines of prose to clean up. It is break time for the true musicians, when the doorbell rings. ''Home'' she says, looking over his shoulder, ''to just the two of us?'' She runs her finger through the dust; hot, cold, hot blows the whistling air in circles spinning lusty gusts at midnight. She came. He swallows the moon, wipes his sandman tired eyes, and her heavy lashes blink over the glass of cold water. They drink and their lips are wet and ruby red again. She takes the bandana from her hair hot, cold, hot, blows the whistling air. ''Clima's coming in. Stay with me this time?'' The fog wall rolls and a sand-swirl screams with their laughter settling on everything. Batten down the hatches; dampen down the shelves, sweep, mop run a scented bath to get the smell of dust off. 3 She is striking in his green robe, and he is a dusty trail hand, wanting to look and not touch. For him, he thinks it comes down to this: there is nothing more precious than what is found in the quiet. ''You shower?'' she says, ''I'll make some soup'' and art is in her hand chopping in the kitchen cooking, or in her song, and in a poem long forgotten. His heart is in the shower washing away the sand, imagining what a gypsy in a green robe does when she thinks there is no one looking. You slice at ribbons snip, snip, snip, and it all goes dark until you see yourself in the shine of the blade, smiling, take the blade away - you see you can't cut ribbons of light Months ago a naked traveller had come out of this bathroom, high on the oils he had put in her bath, high hopes for a night of sex, no strings. She had walked wet footprints across the slate towards him. ''There are always strings,'' she had said, ''There will be one between your Island and mine tomorrow you'll see'' He had given her his bed, and while she slept he had sat up wondering if she felt held by a tender warmth, like when a hand holds the memory of a stone. Yes he had made her a gem. She was right. He had made her a stone but he didn't want her sinking in a sand swamp of love if love was a drowning, then the water should make her gleam. 4 That morning she shines. They move around each other in easy circles of eight; they shower, eat; she restrings her old violin, shuts the shiny case, and leaves.
Archived comments for Clima - his romance...
artisus on 08-02-2008
Clima - his romance...
very atmospheric and a good edit
xxx

Author's Reply:
thanks. thanks for reading it through for me - helpful :o) xxx

Rupe on 13-02-2008
Clima - his romance...
Curious & intriguing. I liked the way the piece portrayed feelings of isolation & connection, fragility through imagery - islands, figures of eight, bells, balloons, string, scissors, the sea - without spelling anything out. It kind of had the feeling of a scene taken out of one of those really long, compelling but obscure novels that you can't remember the plot of but have a flavour that lingers in the mind. Something like the Alexandria Quartet maybe.

Crits - 'sober as a judge' seemed a bit flat & 'circles of eight' - I'd usually think of 'figures of eight'.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Rupe -your comment is wonderful and encouraging - compelling is what i worry about for longer pieces like this, so i am glad that you found the imagery kept your interest - i know this kind of writing isnt for everyone -you have reminded me i must get those books sent to this island im on -i havent read them....´sober as a judge ´- i will rethink, but i wanted the word judge or something about judgement in it so i´ll give it a ponder... and ´circles of eight´- has to be circles and tis fine your thought figures! Thanks for your thoughts on this - appreciated -cheers xxldx


Surfer's Winter Tonic (posted on: 08-02-08)
poem -

Surfer's Winter Tonic Well after riding the surf, when I wash up on the shoreline of evening, drunk on the refreshing keynotes in music, you are like ice, checking your watch, eyes to the starry sky, your breath fanning a camp-fire burning for the warmest brew of full bodied heat, where you are all night my dream, the esprit d'escalier of waves coming in. We rise from the beach mat sheets, your morning growl animating the verve pulsing through the day where you are all day my zing, the esprit dancing in the waves coming in. So lan vital you are this freezing day was an empty container, all for a full cup of you. Your liquid thoughts spilt over last night's blanket, kick-start my heart racing home to warm my hands again around the hot pepper vigour of your simmering medicinal wine.
Archived comments for Surfer's Winter Tonic
artisus on 08-02-2008
Surfers Winter Tonic
i can picture it, great poem and edit. xxx

Author's Reply:
thanks nic - a huge 10 -i'm going to go back to this one, parts/last line..hm.xxx

red-dragon on 08-02-2008
Surfers Winter Tonic
Bit of a weak comment, this, but it's...lovely! Full of joi de vivre! Ann

Author's Reply:
Hi Ann -this is a lovely comment :o) -winter tonic, thank you xxldxx

teifii on 09-02-2008
Surfers Winter Tonic
Certainly conjures up the elation of this relationship. Maybe you should lie down in a cool place for a bit 🙂
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff 😀 elation is a word that should be in this poem! Yes - i'm staying home as much as possible -blinds are down, but i think i've been spotted -thanks Daff xxldxx

Sunken on 10-02-2008
Surfers Winter Tonic
Hello Ms. Ditty. Sorry I'm late. I blame many things. This is a speed comment by the way. I'm currently doing 20 words a minute... What do you mean, that's sloowwwww. Neat poem, just like the author. Take care Dittster.

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Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - don't worry - I'm late too, and blame naivety mainly - i need clown shoes and flip flops today, and will try to take even more care in the future -thanks munky - you take care too - avoid Pool Halls - love, Dittster on the Green xxx

flossieBee on 11-02-2008
Surfers Winter Tonic
Great! ....where you are all day my zing!

Like Joni's - I could drink a case of you.

Couldn't find 'Blessing'. Is it here ?

xx

Author's Reply:
lol! -glad you like it .....right now i need a river i can skate away on....oh well -i'll go find it , must be around here somewhere xxx http://ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=15863

jay12 on 12-02-2008
Surfers Winter Tonic
I read this twice, the first time I read it too fast and didn't really take any of it in (maybe cus I'm tired) the second time I took the time to absorb the words. Made me think of the way I feel about my girlfriend. I dunno if this was supposed to happen (we are very happy together - this just reminded me of that fact, dunno why).

Author's Reply:
Its got a lot of love in it - are you often late??? This Surfer doooood*tuts* is often late...thanks for your comment -i'm glad you felt that way xxldx


Pool Hall (posted on: 04-02-08)
i blame giggling.. or this surely wouldnt have seen the light of day...part of the tricky adolescent collection...i think she's too young for me...(b -is the H word too masculine a word, now the D word has gone?!)

Pool Hall Tipped the cue, felt the weight of it, chalked the tip good and blue, dropped a coin into the slot, racked the triangle, placed the white ball on the spot, clocked the notes: Twenty's down to see the truth A Hustle? Cute! Crack! what a shot - Phew! Tipped my hat to my misspent youth ''Woman?'' she says, ''Where the hell on sweet planet earth did you learn to shoot??'' Spots or Stripes? ''Stripes'' - she's not my type, fingers stroke the green, chin down, strike a rocket, sink one in the top corner pocket, chalk the cue, ''You want to hear the tale of my misspent youth?'' chalk the cue, ''Jack?'' roll the cue ball behind the black. ''Ice?'' roll a smoke for later round the back. ''Good snookerquite the knack'' she chalks up, leans in, skews the white, jumps the black, hits the Spot! Knocks her 2 right into the sack! ''You too, not bad either - nice pot!'' Whiskey and nicotine, strike a match, she downs the shots like the Pool-hall-hustler of my dreams - she's not my type, fingers stroke the green
Archived comments for Pool Hall
Bowlie on 04-02-2008
Pool Hall
Yay, you got it- infinitely superior and hustler - a much more evocative word I reckon, I like the noise of this poem very much, it really does clack and clatter like a pool hall- my favourite part being without a doubt

'Spots or Stripes?
“Stripes” - she’s not my type'

a very playful, mischievous poem chuck, enjoy your foam.

laters
bx

Author's Reply:
Aye -tis a noisy clack and clattery hustler poem - thanks - and apology in advance: i will send you all foolish noisy sounding poems from now on - could you please tell me when not to post them? Foam comes Saturday - excellent :o) cheers b, coffees ready xxx

e-griff on 04-02-2008
Pool Hall
for some reason this reminded me of Chuck Berry's 'School Days' - I think it was the coin into the slot/right into the sack.

I enjoyed it. One small thing - thik it should be 'racked' (unless you're implying something about the treatement of the triangle - but isn't using the triangle 'racking the balls' ? dunno - don't play it, me )

Author's Reply:
Hi Griffy - i'll need reminding of that Mr Berry song -what a nice name, Mr Berry....i think you are right about w/racked - this is a speedy write which means i think i meant 'wracked' as in 'wracked my brain' - is that how you spell that 'wracked' for brain? Or not? See, a triangle is a....oh....let me explain: i think i had 'my brains in my pants' for this write - so -i will leave it be for now, unless i become more sensible today -thanks griff - (i'll change it!) xxldx

artisus on 04-02-2008
Pool Hall
Is she your type or is she your type? that's what I see in this poem. Now I will refrain from posting a video of a great diva, her cat-walk is just amazing. The only "woman" I find a bit erotic. As a boy she was not that cute! eeek! Well so was I! thank Pele I didn't have to go through the same to be a woman, with me it was easier, I remember vividly that day I was sitting back to camera... *eeek!!!* roflmfkao!

xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi Nic -do you mean 'type' or do you mean 'type'? I think not, on both counts, and also - i dont have a *type* - do i? Unless all of a sudden i do :Oo and i should investigate all other Kebab Shops on the island? I dont think any other Kebab Shop has such...facilities though - now listen - i was just there, back to camera, minding my own business, drinking my milk, played some Pool - OMG!!!! - KebabKEbab on the walkway!!!! -she's been on holiday - the one who was discovered snogging her boyfriend over the bar, remember? Yep -not my type....anyway -thanks for sharing - Later: skateboard latex spandex starshaped flyby - orange today -very orange xxldxx (Where's your Willis poem? hm?)

delph_ambi on 04-02-2008
Pool Hall
Love it. Not much of a crit, I know, but this one's just such fun.

Author's Reply:
Great! I'm glad -tis the only reason to post such silliness!!! I have been asked to send some fun and silliness to England/Europe, as i am by now one of the relatively few Nationals who is not with winter blues - i'm trying my best - happy you enjoyed delph :o) xxldx

Sunken on 05-02-2008
Pool Hall
Excellent Ms. Ditty. I think this is my fave by you so far. You may make me itch, but I'm beginning to think it's worth it. Well done and no mistake.

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Author's Reply:
Really Sunken¿¿¿¿¿¿ OH my goodness me! Are you and Bernard encouraging me to rifle through the folder marked ´OH NONONONONONONO´?????¿¿¿¿¿ Uh-oh and no mistake! I really have not got a clue -this proves it again -i am now going to send all such poems as they arise, to bek - she may ignore me which is her right -but i really don´t get what people will like - and i thought i´d got a bit better at deciding -oh well...thanks for the Bernard - Ms Dotty on the Leg xxx

Macjoyce on 06-02-2008
Pool Hall
Too young for you? Nonsense! If the roof is thatched, move in, I say.

If there's grass on the wicket, let's play cricket, I say.

If they’re old enough to bleed, they’re old enough to breed, I say.

If they’re old enough to ovulate, they’re old enough to copulate, I say.

And rest.

Right, I think I’ve got that out of my system now.

What’s the D-word?

I’ll tell you what I like about this poem, Nicky-wickaroonington. It’s free verse, but it rhymes. The rhymes crop up when they feel like it, during an unstructured piece which I think I shall describe as ‘Rhyming Free Verse’.

Get you, get you with your rhyming free verse.

Keep stroking the green,

Macca x


Author's Reply:
Mac - YOU ARE A DISGRACE -I thought 'the poem' was too young for me *pfss*(first two were funny, but - GUILTY of GROSS provocation and you must PAY - i am going to exact revenge by giving your mobile number out to many people with Spanish phone tariffs that eat UK credits, okay Sweetie?:) Right, so you like my Rhyming Free Verse? Well, yes -we are a musical nation,well, the Welsh are and i had musical lessons there for 4 years - can i send you all my sonnets and buckled straight-jacketed structured pieces as they arise? The are in a folder marked "oh...nevermind..." at present. In fact, there is a poem where i counted syllables and STRESS all the way through, worked on it for ages, posted it everywhere and not one person said a word about it - not even email poet friends -all that structure created a wall of silence -FREEEEEDOM Mac the Splice - FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM - i shall rhythm and rhyme where i please, and there is nothing anyone can do about it *laughs like the Count from Sesame Street* The poem was originally called 'Pool-Dive Diva' but i was sent clips of Dana, and Bowlie reminded me that the word Diva brings me out in hives - i decided to relocate the poem to a more the more English cultural setting of my misspent youth -So 'Pool Hall' and 'hustler' for a bit of alliteration, did you notice? I am wondering if i should post this poem in America on the Green - but i worry about immigration and visa's ever since i was arrested in Japan and had to sign an 'Apology to her People and the Emperor' - do you know that story? I must write a poem about it...i am hoping you are by now wondering why you have wasted quite so much time reading this reply to your comment? Are you? Well you should -time is short Mac-san - the Sexy Kebab Shop/POOL Hall/Internet Cafe was buzzzing last night, but i refrained, and instead went down to the Docks in hope of an adventure of a different kind- but more about that later, in Free Verse Rhyme, aka Proseypoem - as by now it is time to check your mobile - it costs you £3 for each message ive left....slater Mac, and thanks xxx


Macjoyce on 06-02-2008
Pool Hall
THREE POUNDS????

Are you trying to ruin me?

Please don't send me all your sonnets at once, fuck me, I can't think of anything worse. Try posting them on the site one at a time and then I'll run my dreamy dark Celtic eyes over them, but if they land on my doormat in a tea-chest I shall cut you into pieces and sell you to the Sexy Kebab Shop.

Is that in fact what it's called? The best-named kebab shop I ever saw was in Uxbridge, it was called "KEBABS". It got the job done.

What did you do to that poor old Japanese emperor? Is he still sane as a result of it?

Of course I noticed your hall-hustler alliteration and it made me do a little wee in my pants.

I'm off now to have my phone number changed.

Happy Stalking,

Mac the Virgin-Fucker


Author's Reply:
Mac - you're a virgin? That's sooooooooooo sweet - one day - when your dreamy dark Celtic eyes meet the right person....you'll see -it will be fine....I'm probably going to post the odd sonnet -but i worry so about my iambics - if i get brave i might sub some for your analysis -thanks Maccaroony - hope you have changed your pants also young man - love, Ol'Nick xxx

teifii on 09-02-2008
Pool Hall
Good heavens, Nikki, you are on a roll! Not just the poems but the replies as well [not to mention the interview]. Is this what being WOTM does to you?
You've had me in fits. Anyway, I wanted to say that although I have never set foot in a pool hall I now feel as if I have just emerged from one. I too like your rhymed free verse; it's brilliant.
Daff

Author's Reply:
HI Daff [yes -best not mention the interview -sunken and i both still have a rash] -it's all this sunshine i've been getting -if i was in the uk now i would be a zombie! Glad you enjoyed this one :o) xxldxx


Loving the Potter (posted on: 01-02-08)
poem

Loving the Potter Loving she who takes the clay deep from the mine and looms great clods into fine porcelain cloth for lace petal cups; her own delight, and mine, to see her bloom. This weave of sheer reflective glaze is tapestry; if fired too long, or cooled to quickly, the loved up clay is doomed. The shine is brightest when simplicity, endeavour, and careful eyes spark away the gloom. Twice fired, twice cooled; timing, and sharing precious sips. Mistiming, and I arrange flowers in a cracked vase, sweep broken tears and china chips into the basket of my arms.
Archived comments for Loving the Potter
Gerry on 01-02-2008
Loving the Potter
Well I will be returning to read this again later. I think I like it 😉

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
:o) thanks Gerry!

Sunken on 02-02-2008
Loving the Potter
I have returned a few times and have come to the conclusion that I do like it. I shall hang around for Gerry to see if he agrees. Is it okay if I wait by your cactus plant? He looks lonely.

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could be the year of the itch

Author's Reply:
Hi sunky - it's taken me a while to too - needed a swift no nonsense edit, and i think i like it now - Gerry decided its a Yay - so all is well. Thanks Itchy - sorry -scratch that - cheers munky-san - Ms Ditty on the Dot xxx

orangedream on 02-02-2008
Loving the Potter
I used to love pottery lessons, but I was hopeless. I did model a mermaid once, but her tail fell off, so I can really identify with these lines, so beautifully written:-

"... and I arrange flowers in the cracked vase
or sweep broken tears and china chips
into the basket of my arms ..."

Congrats on your WOTM. Thoroughly enjoyed your 'interview' with sunks. Quite a one off - both of you!

Great poem. Has to be one of my faves.

Tina :-)x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - glad you like this one - thanks for the fav - and Cheers! Sunken is as sunken is - i laughed and laughed - glad you enjoyed! xxldxx

reckless on 02-02-2008
Loving the Potter
This is beautiful. Full of great imagery and underpinned with tenderness of expression that gives it life. To me it functions on many levels - maybe it's meant to, maybe it's not, but for me it does; the identification of artist with the art mirroring the primal connection between two people, a parent and a child perhaps; and then there is a deeper spiritual metaphor too. That's how it comes to me, and that's why I like it.

Author's Reply:
reckless -thank you so much for this comment -it helped me have more confidence in the poem - thank you thank you thank you :o) xxldxx

Gerry on 03-02-2008
Loving the Potter
I came back as promised and gave this poem a bit more time.
I do like it 😉

Gerry xxx.

Author's Reply:
lol, thanks Gerry -glad you do -it's the 33% fat free version -i'm warming up to it myself -thanks for popping back -cheers :o) xxldxx

artisus on 03-02-2008
Loving the Potter
typo Miss, too quickly. cool poem 😉
xxx

Author's Reply:
:Oo oh sweet potatoes - thank you! You like this one? i was going to workshop it but everyone was hibernating...and i needed to do it, do you remember a poem called Fossil? My friend John was making clay look like bone and fossil - this is a bit more frilly - glad you like -thanks xxx

Sunken on 03-02-2008
Loving the Potter
Dear Ms. Ditty, I am off home now. I waited for Gerry and have taken his views on board. I watered your cactus by the way (-; Damn prickly and no mistake. I must take a pill.

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sponsored by sudocreme

Author's Reply:
IT'S THE CACTUS - MUNKY -ITS THE CACTUS - I HAS TO BE! Is sudocreme real? i shall ask for it at the Pharmacy by the docks - thanks xxx

dotty xxx

flossieBee on 11-02-2008
Loving the Potter
I really like this too. The 'great clods' becoming 'lace petal cups'. It's tender and loving.

fB x

Author's Reply:
thanks flossie xx


Faith's Handshake (posted on: 01-02-08)
poem

Faith's Handshake Come - come on over to our place, Meet us there, where every symbol Is welcome - doors are open - come On inside, mingle with the shadows, Rub shoulders with the stars appearing, Vanishing, some reappearing - come on over, Meet you there at the end of your fingertips Where e v e r y symbol is welcome.
Archived comments for Faith's Handshake
artisus on 01-02-2008
Faiths Handshake
good message here but you know i don't like such poems, i'm a fan of your Bristol and Goa poems.. xxx

Author's Reply:
lol! So Los Cristianos doesn´t do it for me? - i think i have to get better at writing when happier! This poem is something about the psychology of faith/belief development - i was reading about that, Fowler and others, and the poem says something about writing and symbols for me -cheers nic 🙂 xxldx

Sunken on 01-02-2008
Faiths Handshake
I don't know anyone named Faith, Ms. Ditty. If I do bump into one though I shall be sure to shake their hand. I just hope they don't think it presumptuous. I could always say that you told me to? I hope this crit has helped in some way. Thank you.

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she excused herself before fainting

Author's Reply:
Dear sunken -hello -i've missed you -but rest assured i'll get over it by sending excessively large photo files throughout the night to your email addy - yes indeed - Faith has a slippery handshake, especially when not wearing foundation - otherwise, Faith is nothing to be afraid of -go shake hands, and buy Doubt a JD and coke, and all will be well -you'll see, but i wouldnt mention me though, trust me on that.... :o) Ms Dotty xx

orangedream on 02-02-2008
Faiths Handshake
'... mingle with the shadows,
Rub shoulders with the stars appearing,
Vanishing, some reappearing ...'

Beautiful lines, ld.

:-)Tina x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - glad you liked them - love to you xxldx

Sunken on 03-02-2008
Faiths Handshake
I have missed you too Ms. Ditty. It is imperative, however, that you keep away from me. My rash has eased a little since finishing the interview. My doctor says that the nervous tik will subside just as long I have no more dealings with you in an interviewing capacity. I know this all sounds a bit harsh, but to put it plainly, I am allergic to you. Please forewarn me of any future contact. I will need to take the relative pills. This apart, I hope you are well and that your dots are being dashed to your satisfaction. Thank you.

s
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he smells of tea tree oil

Author's Reply:
i have a rash on my legs - what did the doc say? I will be out today looking for a cure! pfs..dotty xxx


Soft charcoal lines (posted on: 21-01-08)
poem

Soft charcoal lines Do you see my soft charcoal lines? I was a stamp of ink, a fencepost letterbox, I was territory - a blot on the landscape - a shield mirror, a moat digger, a straight line standing in a circle of steel. I was iron, nickel, a face on a coin. Do you see my soft charcoal lines? I was mercury; fluid, slippery and untouchable; I was encased; measured and measuring. Do you see my warm charcoal lines? I was soft as silver in the moonlight with the one I love, I was her malleable gold. Do you see me? I am light, shade, a smudge... I want your finger to trace the vanishing outline you have made me. Do you see? For I am soft - flesh me out and I am yours...
Archived comments for Soft charcoal lines
e-griff on 21-01-2008
Soft charcoal lines
I think you need to give your nickel a tickle 🙂

Author's Reply:
is that a euphemism for a wank? Are you telling me i need a wank griff? sorry if i have misunderstood. xxxlittleditty x

Bootylicious on 21-01-2008
Soft charcoal lines
The repetition sets up a lovely rhythm.

Booty

Author's Reply:
Thanks Booty xxldx

e-griff on 21-01-2008
Soft charcoal lines
no (I'm a gentleman) - check out the spelling! 🙂

Author's Reply:
oh - thanks for telling me - i copied and pasted the wrong edit again. nickel.

teifii on 21-01-2008
Soft charcoal lines
Absolutely beautiful. Needs a nom.
Love

Daff

Author's Reply:
Daff -thank you so much. It´s one i wrote when i was more or less asleep, do you do that sometimes? i woke up in the morning and wondered who had written it. Thank you! xxldx

Sunken on 21-01-2008
Soft charcoal lines
This reads kinda dreamily Ms. Ditty. I wouldn't change a thang. Fancy a game of battleships? B7...

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over my shoulder goes leg

Author's Reply:
Thanks sunken - good luck with the Yoga xxx B1
ditty xxx

red-dragon on 23-01-2008
Soft charcoal lines
Last poem I said read like the BWP was filmed. This one is the vid to Aha... (no offence!). It even ends 'I'll be yours'.
A worthy nom indeed. Ann

Author's Reply:
Hello Ann - what is the BWP¿ <-----do you like my Spanish question mark? I don´t understand, but after much thought, i am going to figure you enjoyed the poem :D - thank you! xxldx

red-dragon on 24-01-2008
Soft charcoal lines
Sorry, ld - I said the reportage one could have been filmed like the Blair Witch Project......but yes, I did like this one!! I often read poetry and see it in my mind's eye. Ann

Author's Reply:
Ahhhh! *ding* sorry Ann! I see! yes - me too, re the mind's eye - thanks Ann :)) xxldx

walters on 31-01-2008
Soft charcoal lines
Your outline is most appealing.

Author's Reply:
Hi walters - glad you liked it -cheers xxldx

discopants on 01-02-2008
Soft charcoal lines
I enjoyed this one and the phrase 'soft charcoal lines' has really stuck in my head in the few days since I first read this (I know, I've not been commenting much...). I had the start of a poem in my head kicked off by the image you see similar to the negative of a photograph when driving into the sun on a wet day. Thing is, all I could think about was soft charcoal lines when I wanted sharp, starker images. Grrr...

I like that theme of metals throughout- reminds me of another poem of yours...

dp
x

Author's Reply:
Hi disco - sorreeeeeee! may be save that for the blury stanza of the poem? Brass Frotage, Properties of Metal, I'm not a Metal Woman, Covalent?, there are more i forget -metal or wood - both are soft! Unless they aren't :o) Get posting again Mr Pants - your country needs you! ditty xx

Sooz on 02-02-2008
Soft charcoal lines
The last one I read of yours was good, but it didn't really appeal to me that much, this one strikes me as being really clever. It's an excelent piece of writing.

Author's Reply:
Hi Sooz -glad you liked this one - if it comes easily to say why others dont do it for you -please say! I just write them -usually surprised what is liked -so tell me, i wont cry or nuffink..its helpful... cheers Sooz xxldx


The Magician and me (posted on: 18-01-08)
ok -heres a bit of Flash

:o) The Magician and me When crumpled papers rose and hovered the merry-go-round velvet brim of your hat, unfolding dancers in the lightening flight of birds, their spindle stretches were feathered grace - still shot flickbook seamless movement in a thousand clicks of wing - and I was a scruffy ball, sat on the pavement spellbound, you, shelving ambivalence, not only for the coins on the bridge, but for a glimpse of wonderment. "Never tell how", you had said, tapping your nose, "leave a smile for later", in no doubt that there would always be magic tomorrow - sure as a loaf of bread, a bottle of ale, and a coin for the tin. "How on earth did she manage to get there??" Great views always expanded over the brow of this bridge. If this is our very same streetlamp, the echo of flagstone, we would have walked it; the silence, the climb; juggling music scores up the hill to a smell of kerosene; the alleyway, the archways of scarves pouring fountains from my top pocket like fireworks - fire jugglers running their batons over a skin of tongues. I still look out for you at each festival bar, and one day, there you will be, drinking mead, telling tall stories; and I'll stay, lean against the canvas doorway of the marquee, for the one you tell about the disappearing scruffy ball.
Archived comments for The Magician and me
Sunken on 19-01-2008
The Magician and me
Lovely, magical stuff in a Ditty stylie. I like this more than ginger bread (and I really like ginger bread). Thank you.

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last in bury st. noel edmonds

Author's Reply:
Good! Haazzzzzzah! where did i go? toooooooomarrow toooooomarrow is own...ly a daaaaaaaay awaaaaay....um - i just saw Colin Gibb sing Agadoo! Seriously! Apparently he has a 'Blue Album' out that has been banned in the UK - by his record company! I'm loving it here! Sorry, as you were, i got work to do - thanks. xxldx

artisus on 20-01-2008
The Magician and me
an intriguing spiritual write, reminds me a bit of Ben Okri's descriptive qualities. xxx

Author's Reply:
really? type magic realism....for some odd reason this reminds me of Edinburgh...my misspent youth of festivals -thanks nic xxx id like to read The Famished Road again - its much richer than the In Arcadia one... :o) xx


Bus (posted on: 18-01-08)
reportage

Bus Quiet women and timid men, hugging the relative comfort of chairs, eyes averted from shared smells, their faces at odds; noses and mouths in a curled disapproval, looking elsewhere. A man has been knifed. Sliced behind the ear by a boy who didn't think about the catch-up-crush on the stairs. One of them is caught, bear hugged down by a drip-red, blue collared, cut-up man. He sat him on his lap like a squirming babe. I didn't see the slice. I usually ride up front peering through the reflection at the icy road: I count scarves, hats, gloves and hoods. I turned to see the action, and he cut the condensation with something: 'Why don't any of you do anything? Are you going to sit and give this world to them?' Slowly, there became a less reluctant us; 'I called the police,' she said; he said, 'Stop the bus.'
Archived comments for Bus
artisus on 18-01-2008
Bus
Great poem Nicky

xxx

Author's Reply:
Morning :o) i think you might have helped me out with this one ages ago? may be you suggested things -i think so...don't know why, but it got stuck in a queue, and i never posted it - glad you like it, thanks nic xxx

e-griff on 18-01-2008
Bus
and excellent reportage at that, a full story with extra layers to unravel ... and telling.

Author's Reply:
cheers griffy - glad you thought so, thank you xxldx

teifii on 18-01-2008
Bus
Yes, a very effectively drawn snapshot of the moment.
One doubt -- why 'one of them' is caught? The boy has already been mentioned, so one of whom?
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff :o) yes, i see -that is not as clear as it could be -´the catch up crush´ --there was a gang and when they ran they got stuck on the double decker stairwell, he caught one of them...what he says is exactly as he said it to -i was tempted to change that, but in the end liked the ambiguity of his words -glad you liked -i think i´ll try post some more observational/reportage pieces -they seem to help write themselves, that´s for sure -cheers Daff, xxldx

e-griff on 18-01-2008
Bus
I puzzled that (that's what I meant about layers) I worked out that there was a gang of them - one cut the blokey, and he caught one of them as they tried to get off - not the same one who cut him, but ... 🙂 see - interesting poem!

Author's Reply:
glad you got that John - i dont know if it was ´the one´ or not -i was up front counting hats! cheers! xxldx

Bradene on 18-01-2008
Bus
A very topical and telling piece LD well told, makes you think and feel guilty too. We all tend to look the other way too often. Val x
PS Hapy new year.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Val - i´ll try to post some more stuff like this - reportage is interesting - certainly helps write itself -glad you enjoyed this one and thought it worked - cheers, and Happy New Year to you too :o) xxldx

Sunken on 19-01-2008
Bus
How's it going Ditty? Tic, tic, spasm. A smashing piece. As Val says, very topical. It's a mad old sad old world Ms. Ditty. You stay on your beach.

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he's still waitin...

Author's Reply:
Hi sunk, how are your Worts? Don't worry about a thing - let's sing.......now -i am going to disagree with you, are you ready? It's not a mad world, the world is perfectly sensible -its those human types - bloody nuisance young sunken, aren't they? You are right -i am staying here - however there was a fight on the Petanque courts last week -the OAPs are quite fierce actually - Boom Boom Betty's (see poem) broken her wrist so her calming influence is missing this season, and they've also become unruly - humans see? I prefer birds. Meral, Dafny and their ever expanding family send their regards to you and Bernard, and a kiss for Rudi xxditty x

Sooz on 19-01-2008
Bus
I actually like this (I say actually because poetry really isn't my thing...especially structured poetry) It's as though you're telling bits of a story and then purposefully telling the reader's mind to add the next few lines before you come in again. The reader fills in the blanks. Clever

Author's Reply:
Well then that's double good if you liked it - cheers Sooz, glad if you filled in some blanks - glad there were some blanks! prose and poetry should do that no? and a report type thing would be a bit boring tell tell tell if there weren't any -good it drew you in - thanks for telling me, i'll keep that in mind for the next one xxldx

red-dragon on 19-01-2008
Bus
It's almost written as Blair Witch was filmed (if you see what I mean). Makes you be there. Great reportage. Ann

Author's Reply:
oooo! that's a good idea! might write a poem through the idea of a shaky camera next time! Glad you liked it Ann -that's great, cheers xxldx

Bootylicious on 20-01-2008
Bus
Powerful stuff Little D

Such a massive statement about public apathy. I thought it was absolutely terrific. A well deserved nib.

Booty

Author's Reply:
Cheers Booty - 30 degrees today, no buses, only beach and a sunday lunch - however, my bike was nicked 🙁 and there was a punch up with the old folk playing Petanque! (like Bowls!)- hang in there, Spring is on its way! xxldx

walters on 31-01-2008
Bus
Indeed. I guess everybody was afraid to call the cops on the hoodlums on the bus Wednesday morning. I certainly was tempted to do so, but I recalled how a man was knifed in the heart on Washginton Avenue for trying to stop the violence. Ironically, a Metro-Dade Transit supervisor was on the bus Wednesday morning, and did nothing. They call that 'Letting Things Slide' down here. I say much worse at the bus center in downtown K.C. Missouri - a man sliced up another one with a machete before any of us could intervene, then ran off - the choppers came in, and he was apprehended. Well, Gandhi thought that the truth must be calmly told without insult at the risk of injury to one's self, but the most of us are not up to that, and in fact have never heard of it. David

Author's Reply:
So we have these things to look forward to - glad im out of the city now - worked as a teacher > we were told "a fight has its logical conclusion" which was double speak for "dont intervene because we cant protect you from long term injury or lawsuits against you" -bit tricky when you see two girls, one smashing the head of the other on the playground tarmac - yep -i'm well out of it...easier to listen to Gandhi that way for now -thanks for commenting xxldx


On Dreaming (posted on: 24-12-07)
poem,

On Dreaming Tonight there are petals along the corridors to your room; candlelight leads through a world of scent and you are enchanted by all that is vanishing: the bag in your hand has disappeared, a jacket has been unhooked and peeled away, the walls don't shudder when you walk through, only door frames becoming metaphor and simile. There are no moths caught translucent on a window pane. There are no panes - bookshelves have melted, catalogues recycled, and forms have become an idea. The same has happened with every electrical appliance, batteries do not exist, soft furnishings evaporate until all that remains is wood, linen, and feathers - the only objects on the way to an absent window where you take my hand from under the covers, curl around my back like a cape - and I wake, to walk through the snowflakes with you.
Archived comments for On Dreaming
discopants on 24-12-2007
On Dreaming
Was this actually a dream? It has the feel of stripping away layers to get to the very essence of being. It's good to see you posting regularly again- I shall try to get my own act together!

Anyway, have a good Christmas- speak soon...

dp
x

Author's Reply:
´It has the feel of stripping away layers to get to the very essence of being´

Comment rated 10

dp -thanks, not a dream, i tried to describe something -thank you for being brillyant! :o) xxx

Gerry on 24-12-2007
On Dreaming
Yes indeed --- nice one.
Happy Christmas...
Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Gerry, glad you liked it - it was a a wonderful christmas time, still is - hope your holidays are super too :o) xxldx

orangedream on 24-12-2007
On Dreaming
ld -

you cannot know how I identify with this ... for many reasons ... and for one.

'Where you take my hand from under the covers,
Curl around my back, like a cape - and I wake
to walk throught the snowflakes with you."

My daughter recently was awarded a university degree in Further Education. Too ill to receive her diploma at St. Albans Cathedral in November, the University made special arrangements and sent her diploma without delay. A few nights later, with family and friends she dressed in cap and gown (again courtesy of the university of Hertford) and we took many memorable photographs. There were fireworks in the wonderful gardens of the hospice - and it snowed ... her favourite kind of weather.

xxTina


Author's Reply:
Dear Tina....i don´t know what to say...often tis is why i write poems, here - my love to you and your family xxx http://www.ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=16053

Sunken on 25-12-2007
On Dreaming
Dear Ms. Ditty, I meant to comment on this yesterday. I got hungry though and had to make myself a Tuna fish and salad cream sandwich. No one told me that said fish now come in tins. I spent hours trying to catch one of the slippery buggers. Anyway, this is a top piece. I am giving it a Bernard because those pesky nibbers have fallen asleep! Well done Ditty. Have a good Xmas and an even better new year.

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Author's Reply:
Thanks Sunky - tuna now comes in tins? 😮 ffs - glad we all now know this - also glad Bernard rates this one - nibbers? i think they retired or expired - no nibs for me - no, i lie -i think there is one somewhere on page one of ditty´s subs - it has always been a mystery, just like life -amazing :o) Thanks to you both xxxditty x

artisus on 26-12-2007
On Dreaming
A very fine poem Nicky. xxnxx

Author's Reply:
really? a 10?? *faints*

(glad you like it nic - thanks *pops poem on the pile approved by the people and animals who i listen to carefully* i didnt tell you that today, Meral, who has been absent for weeks, landed on the balcony ledge next to me and gave me a number of head bobbing and blinking looks - i am trying to learn how to speak Bird - i think she said: 'hello you - you alright? Can i have a chocolate hobnob cos it's Boxing day? and btw, have you seen Dafny?' but i really can't be sure - amazing! :o)

shackleton on 27-12-2007
On Dreaming
Smashing poetry, Ms Ditty. If it wasn't a dream, then it was certainly a dream-like state. Happy Christmas 'n' all.

Author's Reply:
Yep -thanks Shackleton - glad you thought the poem was a good´n - lots of smiles for the New Year to you too - cheers :o) ditty xx


''Immigrants'' (posted on: 10-12-07)
poem

"Immigrants" I cannot make your journey in this poem. The thought of it repels me far more than when I hear The curled-lip word, "Immigrants". Neither can I begin in the long lines of prose To explain the way you sat in rows, Or layers, overlapping; on laps, To compare this to the 'waves': Of farewells; of newspaper headlines; Of bodies washed up and under crests - It sickens me - I do not have the capacity, Never will have the fullest empathy, And no manner of research into the length of your canoe, The gathering of careful statistics, If there were: this number, or: that number, Or whether you set off at particular cycles of the moon, Will persuade me that I am capable of doing any justice To your story, as it propels itself, towards me. No number of hours sat, interviewing, Or hand in hand listening quietly by your side, Or observing your work on the shoreline of your new home Will encourage me to try and put into words What life has been like for you. I will have failed before I embark, And so sit far, far away from you, as a guest To each footstep you take along the promenade. Your Life, paid in coins, at the high risk of death, I am lacking, alongside...with still not enough respect.
Archived comments for ''Immigrants''
Macjoyce on 11-12-2007
Immigrants
Well, my dear, I think you do yourself down by calling your poetry 'prose', but I find this idea interesting:

"Neither can I begin in the long lines of prose
To explain the way you sat in rows,
Or layers, overlapping; on laps,
To compare this to the 'waves':
Of farewells; of newspaper headlines;
Of bodies washed up and under crests"

The waves of farewells and headlines is really good.

Along with 'embarking' on the 'journey' of the poem, you seem to be alluding to an attempt to compare the poem itself to the journey the immigrants make. I think you can elaborate more on that. Perhaps you could mention the waves of the letters on the page, or something.

"Of bodies washed up and under crests" is particularly interesting. Is it a double meaning of 'washed up', as in, they have no hope the moment they get here? And as for 'under crests'... Is that a reference to the legal system, the royal crest, 'Honi Soit Qui Mal Y Pense' and all that?

The immigrant's inevitable 'washed up' failure, is like your being doomed from the start to fail to describe their experience in your poem.

But I'm sure you can empathise a little bit. After all, you're an immigrant yourself, aren't you?

P xxx


Author's Reply:
Oh mac -thank you so much for this reading - i am here at the cafe, and going to scribble some notes on a bit of paper - i think i will come back to this one...yes - to all the meanings you point out - crests is also a bit tribal/heraldic no? i wrote this very fast, and will go back when i am less sickened by what i have seen and heard...i think i might be able to make it better, by emphasisng what you have said i could -however -if you got it, i might not need to!! we´ll see...i still havent gone back to King George´s Fields.. because i am slack and go with the flow, not because your reading wasn´t also fabulous there...sorry 🙁



i am an immigrant - we are all immigrants - i´ll say that a bit louder: WE ARE ALL IMMIGRANTS!!!!



decided on ´alongside´´at the end, crossed my mind to use ´onboard´, but i wanted to also suggest i was alongside, ie next to, a load of people with not enough respect -



yes -i can empathise -the ´´layers´´ lines, are holocaust lines for me...and lapping ----> was to get to the waves, of ideas...



My Mum saw this poem at abc and sent me this, its old, but gives you some idea...situation is a lot worse now...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/08/05/wmigrants05.xml





cheers mac-san, nxxx

artisus on 11-12-2007
Immigrants
RIGHT! you wrote a strong poem and whatever that means and doesn't hopefully you will make some people feel uncomfortable with regards to their dismissive attitude towards immigrants. am I clever or am I clever? 😉

(and by the honest way, if there is life after death, aren't we all "immigrants" on this planet?) xxx

Author's Reply:
yes - you are clever :o) and when i feel less uncomfortable, i need a new line. Last but one, end phrase, i dooo not, i repeat, NOT, like! cant see it now, but i will come back to this poem i think.

(yes. i would like to go to Africa - i've never been to Africa. - ps - i need theological advices re something, internet connection is a snail at the mo - will try to email :o)


a littlepoem about Tears (posted on: 10-12-07)
poem

Tears Hormone bullets leap over the trenches of my eyelids - "Run!...Run!" Protein packed pearl droplets pour down gravity's path into arms where they come to rest - held by a cheek, a lot of lip, a fibre- may they roll and fall by the bucket full -Splish- -Splash- -Splosh- Bravo tears -Bravo! Spill the contents of what you have seen. Wash these tired eyes clean! *
Archived comments for a littlepoem about Tears
Sunken on 10-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears


Hello Ms. Ditty on the Dot. How the devil are ya? I like this poem more than that feeling you get when someone you fancy gives you a smile. A truly lovely write and no mistake. I realise that being lovely is often frowned upon these days, but blahhh to that. It's lovely - so there! I especially like -

'Spill the contents of what you have seen.'

A very original way of looking at things Ms. Ditty. I'm not at all surprised though. You are, after all, very original. If your shoes didn't prove it, this does (-: Happy December 10th

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Author's Reply:
Hi sunken - have you noticed how quiet it is around here? Is everyone Christmas shopping do you think? Or just depressed? I'm glad Bernard likes this one - i kind of liked it too, and think that we must have similar tastes- as i especially like Bernard's hat. I am going to try and add a pic of Meral and Dafny as i have nabbed a connection on the balcony, but first i think i will wander around and try and leave a comment or too on some poems ive read - thanks for visiting , i am mighty confused at the mo, i really thought id got a bit better at deciding what poems of mine i think are ok and which i think are as weak as a watered down brew, thanks always for your help in these matters - especially these days without internet always, as i am unable to random fire as before - and am cursed with having to be more discerning - is that what happens when we get older? oh i don't know - cheers munky, you're great, and that's a fact xxxDitty on the Green x

Bradene on 11-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
Wow I love this LD what a great 1st line! and a last line to be really proud of. I really wish I had written this poem a fav for me and a Nom. love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val -wow and thanks, and great, glad you like it! There are many different types of tears and i have had an interest in their chemical make up and purpose before so its included here - This one is packed full of ideas, and oddly, i wrote it when i was genuinely very shakey and weepy - i wanted some humour to win through in the end - i am refusing to get depressed, sunshine of Tenerife is very helpful!!

Thanks Val, love xxldx

orangedream on 11-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
Good to see this one nominated, ld. A smashing write and no mistake.

And, don't you dare be depressed - I won't hear of it!

:-)Tina x ( pls. send some of your sunshine, this way. Pleeeaaase.

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina -glad you like it, thank you :o) (i´m not depressed! I really am not, promise! And i will send some sunshine - i am here collecting sunshine to send you - hope things will be sunnier for you soon Tina...take good care over there, all that stormy weather is tiring stuff xxx)

Sunken on 12-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
Christmas has a lot to answer for Ms. Ditty of Dot Green. I seem to remember this lull happening last year. In fact it usually spreads into the new year too. I blame over indulgence, Nintendo wii, and X factor. I can't really blame anyone for feeling depressed at this time of year. I'm fighting said lows with after eight dinner mints. I am being quite rebellious and eating them before eight! I am surely the James Dean of Uka? Chin up Ms. Ditty, chin up.

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his heart wasn't in the transplant procedure

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken of most things - it is a lull - i thought as much -you really are astonishingly good with your rewviews btw - i was blaming over indulgence too, and have since failed miserably with moderation -does this mean i´m not trying hard enough? Of course you are the James Dean of uka - as i am The RoadRunner of cartoons - i couldnt find any after eights tho and opted for Milk - which apparently is quite rebellious in certain states - boiled milk is supposed to be good, evaporated milk prefered by some, and condensed milk most prefered by 7 out of 10 cats - i really dont know anything - i just drink what i´m given mostly - but sometimes make a shake...p.s.: i will be further in touch re flip flops and clown shoes shortly - i have one euro and a great deal to attend to - so i bid you good day - Good Day Sunken of Professionalism - Ditty on the Dot xxx

SugarMama34 on 12-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
Hi LD,

What a lovely poem you have penned. It says so much when reading between the lines. I liked it all, so I can't say which part was my favourite. A really lovely piece, I'm pleased it has been nomed for you. Well done.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Lis - i´m glad you liked it - that´s great, and the nomination is lovely too. Thanks for commenting Sugar - cheers to you, xxldx

Zoya on 13-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
Nicky, this is beautifully done!
A compact piece of art!
I second the Nomination!
(((Hugs for the Masterpiece)))
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya - a compact piece of art? What a wonderful thing to say! Thanks Zoya - glad you enjoyed it, cheers to you, Nicky xx

Sunken on 14-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
(-: Dear Ms. Ditty, Have you checked your pm's? I wrote to you earlier in the week regarding a shoe parade that is taking place in February? Please get your act together and respond at your earliest possible convenience. It is imperative that I wear the correct footwear. Ahem. Good day!

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his other pc is a porsche...?

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken of Professionalism -

Flip-flops or clown shoes?


Your faithfully, Ms Ditty

of Staggering, on the Green xxx

Sunken on 15-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
Dear Ms. Ditty on the Dot, I am of a mind that flip-flops might indeed be beneficial to the cause. I have received your reply and trust that my response has met with your approval. Please feel free to contact me with regards to said shoe parade at your leisure.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr.

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Le munk

Author's Reply:
Dear Sir,

Flip Flops it is (clown shoes are of course in the boot of the car in case of emergency...)


Yours sincerely

Ditty

teifii on 15-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
Really lovely. Well deserved nom. A favourite for me.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Dear Daff - glad you enjoyed it, that´s great - thanks very much for the fav - cheers to you, Nicky xx

chant on 23-12-2007
a littlepoem about Tears
aw, i went looking for your prints in the snow but found these little tears instead. bravo tears - bravo!

Author's Reply:
Young man, those prints that were not prints did not appear here yet, either, -tomorrow- meantime sunken and mac have made me cry talking about pee-ing and poo-ing in the snow, not here, but over at sunkens place if i remember correctly..when both of them could be perfecting the art of snow angels, and showing us all how its done - frankly, i'm disappointed by many things - i have only sand, and a health and safety certificate - thanks for commenting - that's great - have you been drinking? Such cheekiness should indicate that i have had a tot or two - Happy Christmas time chant! :o) your latest one over 'there' was a great read - i like your poems xxldx

Matty on 23-02-2008
a littlepoem about Tears
A little gem of poetry I really think. It is brief and thus seems to emphasize the transience of tears. Masterful.
Matthew

Author's Reply:
Hi Matty - glad you thought so - thanks for commenting - you rated 1 - 😀 - this is the lowest rate known to humankind!!!!! If you like something try the bigger numbers - thanks for making me laugh this morning -i really needed to :)) cheers for telling me you liked this poem xxldx

Matty on 28-02-2008
a littlepoem about Tears
Hello again,
I'm a bit dense so it took me a while to work out how this all works. Anyway, I got the rating thing licked. So you are being re-rated by me - cos I just love this poem. And I am very stingy with ratings may I add.

Regards,
Matthew

Author's Reply:
Hi Matthew - sorry its been a while, your comment came in the middle of a flu epidemic here in Tenerife and ive been a bit out of it! Thanks for popping back in, i'm glad you liked this one - im still trying to get to the bubble gum! Will do -thanks again xxldx


Maritime Walkway, Los Cristianos (4) (posted on: 26-11-07)
poem :o)

Maritime Walkway, Los Cristianos (4) Here is the titillation of breast (here is the wobble of cleavaged flesh) lengths of leg on the walkway (cellulite thighs tree trunk the path) Sunblessed skin of pretty faces (sunkissed Beryl Cook comic portraits) The wiggle of hips rolling down the steps (tattoos giggle dressed in Sunday best) Saying, 'I am sensuality see me please Touch the air of this warm winter breeze' (An English breakfast guards against slimming, then Roast Beef, Yorkshires, and all the trimmings Saying, 'I am the holiday maker, serve me please...' Before a hair-braid-face-lift by the Senegalese) Here is the titillation of breast Lengths of leg on the walkway Sunblessed skin of pretty faces The wiggle of hips rolling down the steps Saying, I am sensuality see me tease Touch the air of this warm winter breeze
Archived comments for Maritime Walkway, Los Cristianos (4)
artisus on 26-11-2007
Maritime Walkway, Los Cristianos (4)
you're experimenting a bit here. you've effectively parenthesized your observations and made them more acute. xx

Author's Reply:
i thought not nearly accute enough - i might have to get meaner! i try, but i keep smiling in the sunshine - have a good day nic - cheers xxx

discopants on 28-11-2007
Maritime Walkway, Los Cristianos (4)
Cleverly done. As I got to the last six lines I couldn't read them without glancing back up to check what the earlier 'true' observations had been. Never mind a Senegalese hair braid facelift- do you know what a Croydon facelift is? If you don't, it's where the hair is pulled back so tightly that it's beginning to distort the skin on the face. Anyway, I've digressed again...

dp x

Author's Reply:
Hi disco - that´s where i must have got that from -there seem to be an awful lot of people from Croyden here....glad you liked it, cheers for commenting Mr Pants :o) xxldx


Maritime Walkway (posted on: 26-11-07)
poem :o)

Maritime Walkway If the whole world walks by along la Rua de Maritima maybe one day it will be you strolling in the sunshine taking a break from the city - not as young as we were, not reflecting the light of that kind of pretty though there will be something, some kind of beautiful touching the salty air and I will remember the flavour of kissing your neck, the surreal softness of the skin at your shoulder, how the gold threads through your hair - may be one day it will be you flicking through the tacky postcards or sharing an ice-cream with your lover, not as sweet as we once were - though there will be something, some kind of beautiful...
Archived comments for Maritime Walkway
artisus on 26-11-2007
Maritime Walkway
a v. good love poem, the words you used run smoothly. xx

Author's Reply:
thanks - twas a quickie - glad you liked it xx

Sunken on 27-11-2007
Maritime Walkway


This is some kind of beautiful and no mistake Ms. Ditty. I hope your lesbian doves are well by the way. Long may they wallow in the bliss of each others company. And now, if you do not mind, I have windows to open. Good day.

Rate: Automatic Xmas concealer (with override option should you enjoy said season.)

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destiny was no kinder to the parrot, she said whilst buttering his chest

Author's Reply:
Oh, good - glad you like it - is it ´some kind of...´ song title? I feared cheesiness 😮 - people seem to like, and that´s nice - ta sunks xx oh ps: meral and dafny are fine -i shall try to put a pic on my page for your enjoyment - they are soooo cute! xxditty x

orangedream on 27-11-2007
Maritime Walkway
"not reflecting the light of that kind of pretty
though there will be something
some kind of beautiful touching the salty air ..."

As Sunken so rightly says, this is some of beautiful and no mistake.

:-)Tina x

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 27-11-2007
Maritime Walkway
... sorry, I'll repeat the last line. Seem to have missed out a word. I shall put it down to my pre-dinnner G & T!

As Sunken so rightly says, this is some kind of beautiful and no mistake.

Tinax

Author's Reply:
thanks Tina - glad you liked - i am on the Sangria, so i am in danger of missing all sorts! hope all is well - enjoyed your latest very much :o) xxldx

SugarMama34 on 27-11-2007
Maritime Walkway
Hi LD,

A short but lovely worded poem. Memories come in different shapes and forms as do thoughts, which I think you have portrayed well in this. I enjoyed the imagery too your words gave out to me as a reader.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Sugar - glad you liked -i am pondering your recent poem posted under philosophy.. made me thoughtful, will pop back later i hope - thanks for commenting xxldx (sorry! thank goodness for the edit button - i can´t type - it´s the Sangria and internet cafe keyboard! lol)

discopants on 28-11-2007
Maritime Walkway
Do you remember the 80s film 'Some Kind of Wonderful'? You've got me thinking about it now and I've become utterly sidetracked. As for the poem, yes, we grow older but the essence of who we are doesn't age at the same rate.

dp

Author's Reply:
oh noooooooo...sorry dp, this is a cheesey connection for sure - it is as i feared....CHEESE 🙁 i liked the film secretly tho, might have even shed a tear or two ...bet you did too...don´t worry i won´t tell...) yes - essence is a good word - when you have loved someone that essence i think is always there to be seen - although people often say ´í don´t know what i ever saw in her/him´ don´t they? Does this mean they didn´t really love, or that the person has changed drastically? Whooo knows...These things are all a mystery - cheers disco xxldx

Sunken on 28-11-2007
Maritime Walkway
Dear Ms. Ditty on the Dot, I have checked your page but cannot see a new pic. I did spend a happy coffe break, however, admiring your strawberry shoe. It really is a most wonderful site. I still think your avatar is the bestest ever. As for the song title, you maybe thinking of 'Some kind of wonderful' - I don't know who sang it, but it was a bit cheesy. I like a bit of cheese to frank, especially with bacon and beans and that lovely brown sauce from the people at HP. I hope this comment has been both informative and helpful. Please direct any complaints regarding said comment to - Bernard the Communist Beagle, 10 Baker St. London.
All of my best regards, respect and turnips.

Mr. sunky le munk

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loosely based on discarded sock

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk - yes, i am late and tardy with the addition of pic - i have been away from the Operations Room, still am -internet cafe - but will try later. The strawberry shoes are fine, apparently they help in my disguise as a local - the English are surprised that i am from their land (this is not a new thing) but one English rep said he thought i was a sexy Spanish girl with cool shoes - i of course smiled demurely like that Gina Davis pic you added on the other sub....but, really - what a cheek - they are surely shoes suitable for anyone, they are shoes for citizens of the world i thought? Maybe i am wrong and they are a Spanish phenomena? It´s a mystery...yes, that song rings a bell - more cheese evidence surely...oh well...love to Bernard, Rudi and you´re fine self xxldx


She dives like Geena Davis (posted on: 26-11-07)
poem :o)

She dives like Geena Davis She dives deep for pearls, shells, Anything - in warm water she is ancient And always comes up with her knife Between her teeth, like Geena Davis in those freezing scenes On a waterwheel, except She has a conch in one hand, an oyster In the other, reaching up to you there, set above the waist of the ocean, leaning over the deck, smiling, whereas Geena Davis came out of the water all guns blazing, blew the killer away. She's diving again and it's incompletely silent all of a sudden, unlike the struggling scenes of twisted bubbles and blood as Geena pulled on the ropes at her wrists; it's still, you standing there, a pearl and conch in your hands, waiting for her to surface, and when she does, no knife between her teeth, was it to tell you she loved you first?
Archived comments for She dives like Geena Davis
artisus on 26-11-2007
She dives like Geena Davis
Very vivid poem, good for the mood. xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks artisus - vivid is good xx:o)

Sunken on 26-11-2007
She dives like Geena Davis


Hello Ms. Ditty on the cob. I don't know why I called you that. Isn't Geena Davis that woman who use to present Blue Peter? No, I'm thinking of Sarah Green. I think it was Sarah. Anyway, as ever, a ditty that is worthy of many a re-visit cause you're...

More than a Ditty,
more than a Ditty to me,
baby...
More than a Ditty...
More than a Ditty to me...

Join in. Ahem. Yeah. Top, as ever.

Rate: The ability to walk through fire.

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Author's Reply:
Thanks sunken -what´s the tune? (if you progress to power ballads i will call security...) Who´s that woman there? Is that Sarah Green? She looks silly and coy thank you very much! pfs!

😀 ditty xxx

BaBy_PoeT on 28-11-2007
She dives like Geena Davis
Hello lil ms Ditty, witty lol
hope your good!
this is another interesting write from you, I enjoyed it very much. i also think you can make this into a little story book if you carried it on... !
take care
hope your well!
bye
xXxB-PxXx

Author's Reply:
BabyPoet 😀 - i was thinking about you yesterday! Hope you're well -- i was wondering if you´d finished college and what you were up to...thanks for commenting - hope you're writing some, and that everything is going well for you - take care, lilMsG xxx

BaBy_PoeT on 28-11-2007
She dives like Geena Davis
Hello lil ms Ditty, witty lol
hope your good!
this is another interesting write from you, I enjoyed it very much. i also think you can make this into a little story book if you carried it on... !
take care
hope your well!
bye
xXxB-PxXx

Author's Reply:
a story book? what an interesting idea....hm...thanks BP xxldx

e-griff on 30-11-2007
She dives like Geena Davis
'More than a woman ..' from the robot film where No5 (who is alive!) sings it to stephanie ... (wasn't it a BeeGees song?)

Anyway, I just kept thinking 'Ursula Andress' instead of 'Gina Davis' - because I'm old, of course. When I was a lad, we all had the poster. NO ONE else has ever come out of the sea!

Author's Reply:
Hi Griffy -i dont know that film, or song..?thinking beegees, maybe... -Ursula was the Bond Girl, right? Fair enough -it was her! Geena Davis was in a film - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116908/ The Long Kiss Goodnight, and she didnt come out of the sea either- twas a waterwheel, so it´s allowed! cheers griff xxldx

artisus on 01-12-2007
She dives like Geena Davis
Brooke Shields was a good diver in that film Blue Lagoon as well. I am still trying to write that response poem I promised? "He rolls eyes like Bruce Willis". cheers xxx


Author's Reply:
Yes indeed -she was a good diver in that film Blue Lagoon - oddly my most vivid memory of that movie was of moments he had, sitting back to camera, discovering something....what a sweet coming of age teen movie that was...i have waited 53 seconds after repeated 53 seconds for the response poem and fear time is also slipping through my hands - of course this comment, packed with the most ridiculous undertones and overtones, is intended to make you roll your eyes like Bruce Willis in an attempt to provide you with some feeling for how the man rolls his eyes, as you, of course, roll your eyes like Kumu - and i can only imagine this may be blocking your ability to write such a poem. I only hope that this reply to your comment, is of some assistance in this respect - and helps take your mind off Ms Shields. Good morning! Nichovich Spiriovkov (a childhood nick name, coined by one S.Maxwell, also a truly great friend. Thanks Nic:o)

artisus on 02-12-2007
She dives like Geena Davis
Oh THAT scene, what a scene, oh yes.. another poem "He Sits Back to Camera Like Christopher Atkins" yes I think I have found a way to take my mind off Ms Shields and proceed with understanding and capturing the unique moment Mr Willis rolls his eyes. Good, Good Morning!

Author's Reply:
LOL - THANKYOU - FIRST BELLY LAUGH OF THE DAY - nice one nic - i award you comment of the week and shall send you your prize - a jar of Mojo sauce, speciality of the Canary Islands, tomorrow xxnxx

artisus on 02-12-2007
She dives like Geena Davis
Of course this calls for a hormonal celebration, I am watching Leslie Nilsen in some weird discotheque surrounded by aliens right now. A space travesty. I've been trying to find new and more ludicrous erm, I mean lucrative ways to attract more tourists. Nobody can stare into the eyes of Kumu who always rolls her eyes faster than Bruce Willis, however Kumu cannot sit back to camera and do what young Christopher was doing, but I am working on it.

Author's Reply:
😮 i really dont know what to say - you read my hormonal poem then? i must leave you with what you are working on -a wee child needs this computer and i have 3 mins left, and i said she could have this one - i shall return to this page anon...mark my words... :o) xx


Seasonal Adjustment Disorder (posted on: 19-11-07)
:o)

poem- Seasonal Adjustment Disorder The air of this November day is warm, the cool breeze chills, the sea swells. Surf's up tide's high enough for the crash of waves, low though, so the roll and drag conundrums the beach; sea's coming in, stones are polished, shells are broken, mountains become sand - a gang of parrots are shelling pinecones from the tree, a flock of seagulls caw, and a herd of speckled beach towels didn't budge an inch.
Archived comments for Seasonal Adjustment Disorder
Corin on 19-11-2007
poem-
Brilliant last line LD - LOL

AS to Title, how about

Teneriffe sings "Ya Boo, Sucks" to Dark Dismal England in November!

David

Author's Reply:
heehee! - sunshine is the best way i know to avoid SAD, and just concentrate on managing my grumpiness! As i am completely stumped for a title to this, I am seriously considering your suggestion! 😀 May be 'Seasonal Adjustment Disorder' would do it? Thanks for commenting David, xxldx

artisus on 19-11-2007
poem-
well, the only thing i don't like that much is the layout, but the beautiful poem is very beautiful.
xxnx

Author's Reply:
pray, have a fiddle dear nic - i did and stopped, and i agree - i will fiddle again today if i am not arrested for murdering the terrorist drillers upstairs, and outside on the dock - progress around here is actually a noisy business...xxnx

Jolen on 19-11-2007
poem-
Hi Nicky:
So glad to see you posting again. I loved the last line too! This has a undercurrent, or tow, if you will that sort of pulls you into it, hence that's my suggestion "Undertow"

I'll be reading your other sub soon. I hope you're well?

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen - howsitgoing? i´m fine - resorted to an internet cafe and the keyboard is all weird....nice ideas - something about this one poem, i cant settle on a title for it - it is an observation, and i think i need something with time, movement, and change, in the title, or nothing about that...hm. - i´ll pop your idea in the pot...and wait.....:o) Thanks for commenting - ive been reading yours yerknow? wanted to email about Limits, sorry my internet situation is still not sorted - i´ll be in touch soon xxldx

Sunken on 19-11-2007
poem-


Class. That's what you are Ms. Ditty. I agree, the last line couldn't be better (unless of course it comes with an alternative chocolate coating). Top stuff Dittster (-:

Rate: Whatever you bloomin well want.

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her eyes have left the building

Author's Reply:
LOL! thanks sunken xx

orangedream on 20-11-2007
poem-
... and so it goes.

Just bootiful.

Hope life is treating you kindly:-)

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - and so it goes - popping that in the hat for a title - it does doesn´t it...ive lost the question mark on this internet cafe keyboard! Ive been reading yours - life´s fine - hope you are too, thanks Tina - glad you liked this one, cheers to you xx:o) x


Backdrop to War - and 'The Scream' (posted on: 19-11-07)
poem

The Backdrop of War and 'The Scream' There always was the ripped backdrop of war, and 'The Scream' silent in every meeting around a dining table; there, in the apparent quiet of ornaments, or behind smoky piano notes, drifting the air of a violin, along the OM of a cello - there, encircling the joy of music; or as a presence in satire, in the tone of our laughter, - how intimate is war - in the toast we make before drinking, the process of eating, in the privacy of bedrooms there are ghosts at the foot of the bed who listen as quietly to the silence behind the chatter and the clatter of plates and cutlery, as when they share the breath of our dreams; we live a hush with them, and we know it, especially when we stand before 'The Scream' Then there are memorial days, festival days, birthdays, and a visit to a cemetery; and afterwards, screams lurk the silence of coffee houses, waiting the tables everyday behind the turning of Newspaper pages, in front of the words ''collateral damage'', ''ethnic cleansing'' ''The bugle sounds.'' and of course, the scream is there in aura all around the images of flags. It is here, all through a one-minute silence, all along the red road to Peace, here with the years it may take to travel Home; and the ghosts come too, escorting, without a sound, the lifetime it may take to find a quiet time and place to scream for them out loud.
Archived comments for Backdrop to War - and 'The Scream'
artisus on 19-11-2007
Backdrop to War - and The Scream
Respect 'The Scream'.
Top poem
xxnx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pop - re discussion: it has to be 'ghosts' because it is a haunting - i cant change this to 'spirits' or 'ancestors' in this poem, it is up to each of us what these ghosts say to us. Mine aren't revengeful, they have a twinkle in their eye, full of love they are :o) xx

The Scream - A Disturbance of Shen
http://www.ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=15914

Sunken on 19-11-2007
Backdrop to War - and The Scream


(-: Good to see you back Ms. Ditty. This is anything but little. I've missed reading your stuff and no mistake. Especially liked -

behind the chatter and the clatter of plates and cutlery

and

Then there are memorial days, festival days, birthdays,
and a visit to a cemetery; and afterwards,
screams lurk the silence of coffee houses,
waiting the tables everyday
behind the turning of Newspaper pages,
in front of the words “collateral damage”,
“…ethnic cleansing…”
“The bugle sounds….”

Blimey, I could go on highlighting. Really good to see ya back Ditty one. Did I already say that? It's early. I blame acid indigestion.

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Author's Reply:
Dear Bernard, Meral and Dafny, the gay doves who live in the palm tree, have just cooo-ed - i think they said 'Yooo-hoo Bernardo...' (they're Spanish..) but i can't be sure - they are now having a good clean of their feathers after the first rain i've seen here - and are the best company a lonesome creature could wish for - however - in the meantime - i have completely forgotten how to talk to humans and other extra terrestrials, so would you be so kind as to tell Sunken that i am only here posting poems and comments that have been translated by Doctor Do Little, a distant relative from Ditzville on the Green, who due to extreme laziness has only agreed to translate for an hour after lunch - so if this comment appears in bark, would you tell Sunken that i have missed him very much, and thank him for his encouragement to get back into the swing of things - it's been a long while posting here - my internet situation is STILL pants so i can't reply and comment easily, with or without Doc Do Little's assistance, and feel bad about this. Thanks Bernard, would you accept a vegetarian sausage as a thank you? Love to Sunken xxxditty x

Bootylicious on 20-11-2007
Backdrop to War - and The Scream
Hi Little D. Long time no read.

Very poignant indeed. The sad thing of course is that as man continues to wage war on man the day of screaming out loud is forever extended into the future.

Hope I'm not misreading your poem

Booty

Author's Reply:
Hi Booty - you read it just fine - do you know the painting, The Scream - by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch - well, yes, ´´the day of screaming out loud is forever extended into the future.´
Much has been said of this painting and it was in my mind for this poem, as was post traumatic stress disorder - thank you for commenting, i had hoped it would have feeling to it, glad you thought it was poignant - cheers Booty xxldx

discopants on 20-11-2007
Backdrop to War - and The Scream
Hi ld

I particularly liked the reference to 'ghosts at the foot of the bed' and their reappearance in the last verse. It feels like they represent that which is never said as much as the casualties of war.

Not sure I'd like 'The Scream' (or a copy anyway!) above the dining room table- it could be a bit disconcerting looking at it every day.

disco

Author's Reply:
Hi disco - missed you - crap internet situation STILL - The Scream was stolen a couple of years ago - police got it back though...was it you? didnt like it much above the dining room table so gave it back? its that that got me thinking...yup some screams are never heard - some are stolen - a post trauma symptom is stolen screams, war trauma especially- much is never said, or said/lived over and over again, and if not shelved properly - it splits a person - its sad - anyway, i wanted these ghosts to be history watching - glad you liked them! - they are not supposed to be too scary, just there, bit ominous maybe, watching, escorting the scream - and yes, they are the casualties of war - of life - wish war could be banned by The Ministry of Peace, but, wishes are just wishes - that's Life - let's drink to Life disco! Cheers to you - and where have you been??? i have been reading you know -where are your subs? :o) xxldx

discopants on 21-11-2007
Backdrop to War - and The Scream
Are you suggesting that I stole the painting? Well...I gave it back after I'd written a poem about it!

Where've I been? I've been here and there *looks around suspiciously* and since you're demanding to know where my subs are, I've posted one for friday. It's been hovering around like one of your 'ghosts' in my stored items. And anyway, I've not seen that much of you around lately either. Back in Tenerife?

dp

Author's Reply:
ah-ha - i knew that already - i didn't dob you in though, for fear that the cops would find the Beryl Cooks that i've.... borrowed - yeah -i'm in Tenerife, different balcony, worse internet situation - some poems tho -at abctales for now -will try and bring them here - will read any i've missed of yours on Friday - s'later disco xxldx


Festival of Colour and Light (posted on: 24-08-07)
littlepoem may edit... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwali http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holi *************************************************

Festival of Colour and Light Fidelity writes with ease beneath your picture Now that love is liquid and rusty chains flake The colours of love I have for you in a confetti of rain. Pollen dust hits the water where there is no soil, Swirling my Divali firecracker in a festival of colour, Then to my canvas, and then to the sky. This is for a Holi day missed, a day Spring tested Divali light. I now throw powder at a whiteness, and paint My feelings. No one, ever again, will censor this: *
Archived comments for Festival of Colour and Light
artisus on 24-08-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
very interesting and original xxnxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks -its too easy with those two festivals to help ideas - i was a bit flash angry with myself when i wrote it, now i should really read those links and have a think. There are probably poems much better than this one ditty written about these festivals - ive always wanted to write about Holi and Divali - may be i will yet. Cheers nic xxnxx

Sunken on 24-08-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
Hello lovely Ms. Ditty. Did you know that Tubeway Army once sang of love being a liquid. I really like Guinness, so there might be some truth in this statement. I shall check your handy links later. You are a very thoughtful Ditty and no mistake. For the moment, I am removing all references to rascals. I hope this helps. Nice one Ditty of Little fame.

Today I am using a system of rating previously made famous by 70’s disco diva Donna Summer of ’I feel love’ fame. Ms. Summer now manages a small, but highly successful, toy store in Outer Mongolia. Noting the need for a more accurate way of rating the items found on sale in said store has led to the following internationally recognised system of appraisal.

Rate: Barbie and Ken (complete with dinner wear)

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look, a 1980's obtuse angle.

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - the '80's were banned until now - you have unlocked a whole kettle of worms (or some such mixed metaphor) and frankly, i fear the worst - i am shocked to remember suddenly that Barbie and Ken were parents of mine for a while, no jokes! (Did you know that if you take the exact measurements of a Barbie doll and enlarge to a life size cardboard cut out, she becomes a hideous creature of ridiculous proportions? My students did such a thing once and the results were both hilarious and quite sobering) - generally the '80's were transformed into the 60's and 70's, or any other decade in history that me and my rascalian friends fancied - and Donner Summer - well - she is a bridge over decades - Bad Girls - beep beep - toot toot - thank you Sunken of Turnips xxxDitty of Little Fame x

shackleton on 24-08-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
Reminded me a little of Don McLean's 'Vincent'. Good poem, LD!

Author's Reply:
Hi Shackleton - glad you liked it - is that the 'stary stary night...' one? I used to sing Don Mclean songs when i was an office cleaner - you and Sunken have conspired to remind me of the lost decade - the 80's - i now have lots of poems to write! Thanks Shacks xxldx

royrodel on 26-08-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
Brownian motion and Ernest Rutherford
wow
imo a great read.

RODEL

Author's Reply:
Wow Rodel - thank you - glad you liked - it would be cool if more scientists were poets - i wish i knew more, H2O was all i learned at school, i try to read a bit now. Cheers for commenting xxldx

Rosco on 26-08-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
I find your 'Indian' poems so memorable. That rich sensibility works for you. It's as if it deploys a grand revolt in your nature against what we're stuck with. The English language is some compensation imo. Is 'canvas sky' necessary rather than just 'sky' alone. Poetry is moving so fast that those clunky prose observances are a little impeding.

Author's Reply:
Hi Ross - rebel rebel - nic says similar about the Indian episode, and Bristol - you said stuff once about the connection between depression and art - i am happier, more content mostly these days, it provides some buoyant resistance to what we are stuck with, and if that means less memorable poems, tis fine with me just for now! You are right about the 2nd canvas, but reading again without, it seems to miss some line length and ryddum - will look again - twas just a quick snippet of mood this one - may be i'll fiddle a bit...thank you - now if the internet lasts i'm going to change heart shaped gardener! xxx

Jolen on 29-08-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
I think you have just colored the world we all live in with this one. And the ending resonates with me a great deal. Isn't it nice to see that old Ross chap back here?

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Oh ffs - i am sure i answered this lovely comment of yours! Where did it go? That's great that is resonates Jolen -it was a quick hissy fit really (WOW, sorry we have just been interrupted by a beautiful falcon circling in front of my balcony...wow...now there is a painting on the sky!:o) Yes -it is always great to have a Ross poem to read, and his crit and suggestions are always good'uns too - hope you are well and that the sun is finally shining for you on the soggy united kingdom of rocks! :o) xxx

Abel on 30-08-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
Your unique voice shows through here. Structed in a very cool way...

Pollen dust hits the water where there is no soil
and
No one, ever again, will censor this:

Yes. Well done!!!

Ward


Author's Reply:
Hi Ward -i've just been reading a new website of a friend of ours - there is a uniqueness, what a character! Thanks, one for creative expression -glad you like that pollen line, may all be a bit ironic after such a hissy fit that i feel very quiet - if there wasn't an all day/night fiesta raging in the town tonight i might enjoy the peace! Thanks for commenting, appreciate it xxldx

eddiesolo on 01-09-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
Hi LD.

Trying to ease myself into reading again-I know your poems are anything but easy and simple but...I thought this wonderful.

Read more later.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Hi Si - aint life strange and wonderful? i was wondering where you were yesterday and wanted to pm to see how it was all going with you. How is it all going? I hope you have been writing some, and will be posting again. Thanks for visiting this little ditty - glad you liked it - i've missed you xxldx

silversun on 17-09-2007
Festival of Colour and Light
When reading something as rich as this, it is enough for e to take pleasure in how it is said rather than to know what it means, though in this case it is pretty much straight-forward. Not that I would dismiss meaning, but there are plenty of people to root around for that. I will take the way something is done rather than the reason any day, and the way of this is wonderful. On a purely personal note, I would lose that second 'canvas'. I think that the suggestive pause of the comma fits the length just fine - it lets the image of the canvas settle before we are hit with the sky.
James

Author's Reply:
Hi silversun - it is odd reading this again -seems like ages ago - happy you liked the way of this one and i'm thinking i'll snip the other canvas when i read it again - thanks for your comments - i liked the way of them! xxldx


Iridology (posted on: 20-08-07)
it's about Iridology innit - which is the study of the eye, for understanding the health of a person, how well they are, and can also diagnose certain health problems. ------

Iridology Iridology. A consultation, a first lesson, a first session. She says she sees imbalance as cause and symptom written in shape, iris and pupil dilation, colour, hue, and scaring; and to the left and to the right, all things are measured, and what is felt is verified when treatment begins. A woman in the front row faints and is escorted to a hard wooden bench on the perimeter and sits, breathing out and in, beside the clinic doorway. In the patients' waiting room, a buxom nurse tends to the line of clients with their backs against the wall. She shows slides by projection. It is what comes forward, and what retreats, all in a gaze. This, she explains is not so much about age, it is about health. A Volunteer holds up a slide. There is maturity here, and intelligence there, that she can see in a child or in a grown adult. This, she tries to explain, excusing herself for being unscientific, is something to do with what some might understand as mind or soul. A rasping objection from the crowd, but she waves a hand dismissively, and continues. Look at any object, at the light and the dark, the push and pull of it, to see the same. A poem on love has both eyes, and the third, for one to see the space between the words; the right hand beckoning or raised to say stop, the left palm open to kiss or be kissed; and it may appear to be in perfect balance, but what is the feeling that spills from the white canvas between the dots on the page? This is what she says she sees in the study of the eyes. She says 'Ki', the Japanese symbol for energy, for the shiatsu students - their fingers busy taking notes - so they hear the same idea when reading the depletion and resistance of flow along a body meridian. She listens to the body by the rune stone of each eye. There are some with a right eye to be wary of. There are some with a left so underdeveloped it is as if the right eye is not born of a human child. A Volunteer gasps, shocked. She pauses, and continues by stating that both project in allegory, a lurking alien being, reticent and appearing throughout history in full Technicolor, as inhuman Someone guffaws. Another goes and sits on the hard wooden bench. She inhales and exhales deeply. It is referred to on page 35 as the inhumane gene, she explains. Then the shuffle, there is a cough, a crinkle of a crisp packet, and someone excuses themselves and heads for the restroom facilities. She pauses for stillness, and continues. Most however, are aware, sentient; and imbalanced only by a most human reticence, formed in lifetimes and born in this one, of mistrust. Silence. Her eyes scan the room, and she opens the floor for questions. Some stand open mouthed, some turn to the exit, some begin to ponder, and some fall in. * *
Archived comments for Iridology
Rupe on 20-08-2007
Iridology
I wasn't sure quite how to read this, so can only say how I DID read it. The prose is polished, concrete, descriptive, matter-of-fact. There's a clear and linear narrative and it imparts solid information. So, on the strength of that, everything points to taking it literally, as information transfer.

However, there are things happening in the text that seem extraneous to such a literal interpretation - the role of the hard bench, the fainting woman, the conclusion itself. These details seem to undermine that possibility & defy explanation.

And since the subject is vision, seeing - maybe the idea is elusiveness & how an individual's personal vision never takes in the whole picture. There's a tension between the concreteness of the prose & the elusiveness of the theme that made me search for a metaphorical significance, fail to find it & then conclude that itself WAS the metaphor.

Of course, I could be reading way too much into this - or just be plain wrong...

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Rupe - your comment has made my day! Thank you so much for your reading of this piece - it is a brilliant
reading, and that's the point - reading IS where it is at - and you're very good at it - Cheers! xxldx

artisus on 20-08-2007
Iridology
very interesting, very bohemian way of looking at things. sometimes a poem on love has only the third eye; do you need 'the' words?
the space between words sounds better I think.
xxnx

Author's Reply:
lol...perhaps it's the best poems on love have only the third eye - the space between words sounds better? i was probably trying to emphasize the words as objects or something...will go and see -thanks xxnx

Sunken on 21-08-2007
Iridology
Hello Ditty Rascal. I read your experiment in the early hours of this morning over a bowl of special K. I am not dieting, I just like Special K. I find it more tasty than it's less special cousin (cornflakes). Anyway, that's hardly important right now. I am here to confirm that your experiment was a huge success. Why my tulips have never looked better. Well done Ms. Ditty Rascal and no mistake (-:

This week I am using a system of rating previously made famous by John Logie Baird of televisual invention fame. In his spare time Mr. Baird ran a small, but highly successful, stationery store. It was here that his controversial assessment system was both conceived and implemented. Thank you.

Rate: Jumbo Pritt Stick (with free Pritt stick fanclub certificate)

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somewhere over the boyband

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken - Rascal? Have I been naughty? I have been trying not to be, so i think this is another one of your premonitions that i've been having.... your Visionary tendencies - i mean who needs TV? 😮 I really really like Special K too - is that why i got a free fanclub certificate? I'm happy about your tulips, I am just naturally a bit suspicious of Jumbo Pritt Sticks ever since...oh nevermind...I'm just glad you're over the boyband - that's great - thanks Sunken - xxxditty x

Sunken on 21-08-2007
Iridology
Dear Ms. Ditty, I can confirm that you are not really a rascal. I just like the sound of 'Ditty Rascal'. It's a bit like my relationship with the words 'Outer Mongolia'. I hope this helps and that you are still of a sunny disposition. Thank you Ms. Ditty.

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today he smells of imperial leather

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - will you please step away from the binoculars? I am a recently reincarnated Rascal AND i have been vacationing in Outer Mongolia - incredible - i saw many strange but mildly interesting tourist attractions, and also fell in Love with a woman made of clay. Apparently she is now a beautiful vase, while i am home with friends making Paella in a terracotta dish - aint life strange? - but you knew that already. Fancy a packet of Walkers? Roast Chicken flavour - sorry, its all i have... : xxxditty x (imperial leather? recommend bathing, few drops of Tea Tree Oil xxx)

Jolen on 22-08-2007
Iridology
I think Nicoletta and Rupe said it all for us. A very fine bit of prose, with plenty of 'vision' for the reader to see.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
HI Jolen - glad you think so - i'd wiggle my plastic glasses, eyebrows and big nose - wave my cigar and say 'whadid you see???' but i am with such a rubbish internet connection i fear not being able to get back to answer comments - i wasn't going to sub anything again, because of this, but this sneaked through - trying to read work is difficult at the mo, trying to catch up - hope all is good with you - all is well in Tenerife - Sun, Sea, Surf, Sangria... - as for the British weather - i have heard 🙁 Sunny Septembers are not unheard of...lets hope so) Slater, Jolen of Leeds xxldx


Under The Oak (posted on: 06-08-07)
a poets fable -

Under the Oak There was pleasure, praise, solemnity; horror, pain, and tragedy, drinking from the watering hole at Double Indemnity Creek. They began gathering; filled terracotta urns, burned Frankincense in the shade of the Oak and waited for a storyteller to spread her quilt out on the green. She came, her gait slower than usual, her red hands resting on her guts, her patchwork hanging from her shoulder - and she asked a little one to take it, shake it out, and make it smooth on the soft ground. Soon, men, women, and children from the river felt the sun hotter on their backs, heard the signing that the story was waiting, left their eyes on what they had been doing, and took their ears up the slippery banks. Some exchanged quiet greetings with each other; all found a comfortable spot or a square of the patch, and all waited quietly. "Big Mother," a child's voice called out. "Why are your hands so red, there holding your tummy?" and the child's mother shushed the child and scolded, "Hush! Listen with your ears, your mind and heart, child! Now is not the time for the questioning." The child, grumpy, closed eyes tight but placed little hands on a small swollen stomach, sweetly full of sherbet lemon dips bought with a coin from the weekend treat stop at Miss Felicity's general store in town. From the eldest bough of the Oak, golden in the sunlight and moving to and fro in the breeze, was a rope swing. The child's Grandfather had weaved the rope from luscious grasses, and had dried and burned fourteen strands with wax and fire. Sam's Grandmother had plaited seven in each, making two ropes for the wood plank of the swing. So well it was made that it had lasted lifetimes, and Sam, fed up with waiting, opened eyes to catch the prop swinging in the breeze. "Mother! Can I play on the swing while we wait for the story?" and the cheekiness raised gasps and whispers amongst the resting crowd. "Hush child!" the mother scolded, "By Jupiter be still! Now is not the time for fooling around. Peg your fluttering tent to the ground, and wait." The child, ashamed, looked down, and at exactly that moment another child, knowing that it would vex little Sam, got up grinning from a little square patch and sat on the plank of the swing. Sam, distracted by the movement, glared at the child and forgot the quiet. "Mother! That's not fair! Why can she play on the swing while I have to sit still, here, fiddling with stones?" Sam's mother, tired of these outbursts, raised her arms to the sky and cried, "By Neptune, little one!" but said not another word. Sam, black with grumpiness, closed both eyes tight to it all, and couldn't help but wish she'd fall. Stubborn little Sam kept both eyes firmly and then less firmly shut, until dancing light sparked and petalled each eyelid with trails and shapes. Sam heard incredible music lifting these patterned lanterns into the future, and forgetting a bad temper, smiled at the pictures created. At exactly that very moment, a nomadic old man and his friendly dog came upon the group under the Oak. He had brought boiled eggs and loaves of bread, looked at The Mother, and shared them around to all at the gathering. Sam opened eyes and was delighted. A ravenous appetite had hit while dancing with eye lit lids, and after eating plenty, Sam pulled a golden thread of wheat from tiny teeth, and rested happy hands on a small, savoury-sweet potbelly. "Mother! Mother! Life is beautiful!" Sam screamed, and the company, mouths full of egg and bread, laughed and laughed under the tree, until the leaves laughed along too, and the boughs shook, the trunk chuckled with fun, the earth moved, and the world spun. When the gathering quietened and the tree stilled, the storyteller, with red hands resting on her guts, shifted slightly on the quilt. With expectation, all eyes and ears turned and fixed themselves on her open mouth, but not a word came out. Instead, a sigh; a deeply exhaled breath hummed around the crowd and stilled all noise. She lifted her red hands from her guts, rested them face up, and from her palms Sam's very own eyelid dance appeared in full, all seen, there in the palms of her hands - birds, monkeys, lions, snakes, and all the wonderful beauty, there in front of the eyes. "Mother! Mother! Can you see it? It's fantastic a wonderful magic show under the Oak!" and Sam's mother smiled, touched both shoulders and said, "Hush, child of mine! I can't see wonder as you do!" and Sam's heart sank and nearly broke in two. "But, by Love, I do know child, it is you who is wonderful..." and Sam blushed deeply, and then smiled too.
Archived comments for Under The Oak
e-griff on 06-08-2007
Under The Oak
A joyous prose piece written by a poet! Unusual. Magical even. Lovely! 'guts' jarred slightly (everyone else has a stomach) but that's hardly a complaint.

Very interesting. What are you trying to do here? G

Author's Reply:
Thanks griffy - joyous and magical is the idea - and guts needs to be guts - it's all about guts for me! They say that if one was to try and locate the mind in the body, that one might as well look in the stomach because the messaging of chemicals etc between brain and stomach/guts is so numerous, and prolific.

What am i trying to do here? Show you my poets tale....write about creativity, the process...i don't know...i just write! (I have a problem with choosing genre...)

thanks - i'm glad you enjoyed xxldx

e-griff on 06-08-2007
Under The Oak
I don't know if I'm getting less picky or the writing's getting better, but ... may a proffer a (still quite rare) Griffpick
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

You know what they say:
'Where Griffpicks appear,
Soon nibs will be here..'

Author's Reply:
here is your art! generous and kind. thank you griffy xxldx

delph_ambi on 06-08-2007
Under The Oak
Quite right too. A joyous piece of writing. Lovely style. Positively edible.

Author's Reply:
delph - thank you - i am so happy you enjoy these prosey writes - really xxldx

artisus on 06-08-2007
Under The Oak
To and fro. Not only is this story written by you, but contains one of the most magical expressions of the English language.

I have a real story to share with you. When I was just a kid, there was this teacher, a teacher of English that I now doubt was that good, but he had said that he had traveled to England and Holland, and had spoken with real English - and that's why he had such a great accent. Indeed his accent must have been great and I wish I had not tried to acquire a similar one, by watching Lawrence of Arabia so many times.
Back then a good woman had lived in Canada for many many many years. She tutored me for a while to become a better student of English, which back then meant to actually succeed and pass the examinations, as I kept failing. The very fact I was being tutored by a woman who had obviously met more English speaking people than my teacher, made me feel superior to all the other kids.

Well, this woman gave me two books - no make that three. I still have her grammar book. The other two books were about all the species of birds and the history of guns. Wow. Real books written in English full of unknown terms and words, bought in Canada, sold in a Canadian bookshop! I have no idea why this woman gave me these books.

Anyway, in this gun book, I was trying to understand whatever I could, forcing myself to be interested in guns. 'to and fro' was repeatedly mentioned. Before asking my tutor, I asked my teacher of English. "what does to and fro mean?" He looked at me and told me "oh, where did you find that expression?" .. I think he had no idea,

"In a book" What kind of book he asked, "about guns" I said.

"What are you doing reading a book about guns?"

"I am trying to learn English!"

"…and where exactly do you usually see this phrase?"

"I think it's something like a trigger",

"Well, can't you guess what to and fro means?" and I answered that I could not. "Well it's some kind of movement, when you load the gun again."

I have to say now that I was trying to impress that teacher, who was also a military man in his youth and always liked to talk about it, and about guns, and hunting, and other stuff. Actually the whole lesson could be spent on him talking about all sorts of things except English. And in excellent Greek. He would have made a wonderful teacher of Greek unlike the eight teachers in my primary (OR IS IT ELEMENTARY?) school years that taught Greek that bad I had to find another language to understand my own.

After many months the tutor asked me to give her back the bird book and the gun book. I had cut most pictures of birds, but the gun book was intact. I don't know why but she stopped tutoring me and had some sort of fight with my mother.

That was a story to say thank you for your lovely story.


Author's Reply:
artisus -thank you for your story, for being creative here on this write about creativity - you rock!! xxldx

Kat on 07-08-2007
Under The Oak
Yes, there's magic in this, and a lot of 'creation' - a joy to read - your work always seem to 'teach' something or enlighten the reader, and I love that.

Kattykins x

Author's Reply:
Dear Kat - that is the very best thing anyone could ever say to a ditty who writes - thank you - for always helping me grow into my new shoes with all your positive comments - means a lot to me xxx:Ditty x

discopants on 08-08-2007
Under The Oak
This struck me as almost a Biblical parable- the unassuming man comes to break bread, carrying enough to feed everyonr, while Sam learns that patience (and obedience) reaps magical rewards. Poetically written, too, but then that's no surprise!

dp
x

Author's Reply:
Hi disco - interesting what you said - patience and obedience reaps magical rewards - perhaps, getting older I am getting better at both? dunno...When a Rebel finds a cause...hm!...and i think those two words have a lot to do with the art appearing magically - so i'm waiting at the mo! Poems that i struggle with, put on the naughty step, and sometimes finally post just to set them free -i never really feel happy with! - the ones that write themselves in a flash usually feel right - this was one of those! I was a bit suspicious of that unassuming man when he appeared as i was writing it, but an egg sarnie picnic under an Oak seemed to turn out alright for everyone - cheers disco :o) xxldx (OMy...*inhales* the bakery downstairs...the smell of bread at 6AM - yummm...time for breakfast!) x

Bootylicious on 10-08-2007
Under The Oak
A story full of love Little D. I thought it had wonderful rhythm and lots of senses too. Good one!

Booty

Author's Reply:
Hi Booty - glad you thought so - there should be 'senses' , lots, in a write about creativity - Happy that you liked the rhythm of the piece -thank you very much for a cheery comment that has made me smile - cheers to you xxldx

len on 11-08-2007
Under The Oak
I remember magic...Nice job of describing the world through the eyes of a child. It's too bad we become immune to the miracles around us. It seems our imagination, along with our arteries, become hardened with age...len

Author's Reply:
Hello Len - how old are you? 😀 When does this start happening?? 😀 What are the signs it has begun??? How will I know????? :Oo ... Len!!!!! - i have a very unruly inner-child who is stubborn, and adamant that miracles happen daily, but...... tis true what you say, an adult life and experience can make any inner child feel glum. I was reading an old article of yours today...wanted to ask you something - will pm you - if shaky internet connection allows. This wrote itself - glad it made you remember magic. I am now worried about my arteries! :o)
LoL xxldx





Secret Gardens (posted on: 03-08-07)
a poem...to the luck of the Irish...

Secret Gardens She said I had given her a garden dripping with scent that made her heady heart mix elixir into songbirds and butterflies, and I said it made sense that love makes gardens, landscaping her breasts with my tongue, she, arching a bridge over manmade rivers, sliding me down to her quiver of lips. She moaned too loudly for the thin walls and told me to return nightly and make stars. A Secret Garden, when love wants to sing from the trees - I ploughed my heart and soul, while she changed the lock and key. I wonder if that manipulated wildness is now all bordered straight; if honeysuckle still climbs the walls, and is loved as much by the green fingered gardener with the key to the wooden gate, because the heart fingered lover wouldn't want it any other way, neither, ever again, to fall for a garden, unable to be gay!
Archived comments for Secret Gardens
Abel on 03-08-2007
Secret Gardens
Brilliant, sensual work. Well written!!

Ward

Author's Reply:
Cheers Ward - its all this sunshine where i am - sensuality season is here by the seaside! Thanks for commenting, appreciate it -ta, xxldx

Ionicus on 03-08-2007
Secret Gardens
I concur with Lou's comment absolutely.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi - i'm glad you think so -thanks for telling me - ta very much :o) xxldx

Kat on 04-08-2007
Secret Gardens
Wonderful writing - love all the wordplay - exquisito! And very accessible.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Kat -thanks thanks thanks. 423 strawberries salute you! (they are still grinning from your last reply) xxldxx

Sunken on 04-08-2007
Secret Gardens
Oh my bloody good god. Dear Ms. Ditty! I am delicately balanced today and am fearing that your excellent poem may have just given me cause to topple. What a smashing poem.

'landscaping her breasts with my tongue,'

No, it's no good. I better go and knock one off. I hope you're happy with yourself! Disgraceful behaviour.

I'm giving edible rates today. I have a strawberry flavoured ten going spare if you fancy it. Thanks.
Rate: Strawberry flavoured 10

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cannot function on inclines

Author's Reply:
LOL - cheers Sunken!

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cannot decline a function

orangedream on 04-08-2007
Secret Gardens
What could I possibly say that hasn't been said already, ld?

Pure magic.

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Glad you liked -i am really happy this one is liked - super! Cheers Tina xxx ditty x

shackleton on 05-08-2007
Secret Gardens
Ah, littleditty, if I had the luck of the Irish, I'd steal your heart away. Excellent poetry... very sensual. Bye now.

Author's Reply:

Ah shackles -

You would want my offal?
How awful! It’s only a lump
Of muscle sinew - where on
Earth would you steal it too?
(Barbie queued viscus!
Is that your plan?
They say it’s quite delicious,
Full of iron and vitamins
And really quite nutritious!)
So glad be us,
That you are out of luck!
My heartfelt thanks
For such a comment Chuck.
As in wild beds of roses, honey
Suckle and clover,
I’ll need it yet, a while longer,
Just to keep me ticking over!

xxldx

artisus on 05-08-2007
Secret Gardens
This can be edited a little, it's very interesting and good of course as it is, but you can bring out a different quality by creating another version. However, it is clever that you are focused on the sensuality of both through the metaphor of the "secret" garden. Sensuality *is* dealt as a secret in this poem, or in secrecy and indirectly. In my opinion the poem doesn't need the metaphor of the gardener as well, I don't feel you should refer to "a gardener" at all, after all you have talked a lot about the relationship and 'explained' many things. I will send you a version.

Author's Reply:
ok - great. I wrote this quickly and left it as is. I am not sure what you mean about getting rid of the Gardener -and wait to see -there are two gardeners - her present green fingered one, (to imply naivety/youth/and ability to nurture growth, and the heart shaped gardener of the past.

'fingered' has a couple of meanings which you may not know - and you might want to check before an edit! - thanks artisus -super xxxldx

discopants on 05-08-2007
Secret Gardens
It's been said already but I'll say it again- very sensuous and kind of sinewy. Do you know that I accidentally cut through the cord of my electric hedge-trimmer a couple of weeks ago? I wouldn't be at all surprised if that's what this poem is really about. I am now thinking of buying a cordless one but wonder whether I should instead allow some unfettered growth. It's a puzzler, all right, a bit like your Tattoo sub which is still permeating my brain.

dp
x

Author's Reply:
HI disco -is that why your poems have been electrifying lately? i see...yes - unfettered growth is a good thing, but then again, so is a heart shaped gardener - the grass is always greener - ho hum...there is no puzzle to this at all - twas a big love story, early on in my career of love stories! xxldx

gilded_kage on 10-08-2007
Secret Gardens
I really like this poem. So sensual, so hot, so sad at the end. Why are they unable to be gay?

You might consider changing some of your -ing verbs to active verbs, like this:
and I said it makes sense that love makes gardens
as I landscaped her breasts with my tongue...

I love the mix of sensuality and the fancifulness of lines like: "she told me to return nightly and make stars."

Wow. You have a lot of talent. I"m going to post some poems eventually and hope you will give me suggestions on them.

Author's Reply:
Hello gilded_kage, thank you for your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. Yes. ING's - they get a hard time in poetry don't they? Cut and chopped and made tense, active, instead of being allowed to glide --- gliding along in the wonderful present continuous - poor likkle things! i will most definitely look at this, straight after i make some strong coffee - thank you for bringing me back to this poem this morning and offering suggestions, that is wonderful - the speaker is able to live a gay life -the other not - i will think about the word 'able' again too - unable to live the life in the open for her reasons, because in the poem she was obviously able to enjoy the experience in secret .. i really shouldn't answer comments without a morning coffee! But thanks for your thoughts, and your time, and pm - i may add an edit here later - of course i will look out for your poem on Monday, welcome to uka! xxldx

flossieBee on 19-08-2007
Secret Gardens
'landscaping her breasts...' completely does it for me to.

Another utterly sensuous poem. Glad to see you back in Tenerife.

fB xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks flossie - will you send me an email? i'm sending you some stuff, but i dont know which email to use. When are you coming? Writing is good here! Speak sooooon - hope you are super :o) xxx

Rosco on 23-08-2007
Secret Gardens
Very refreshing and liberating piece.

Small suggestion: because the heart fingered gardener

Change to: because the heart-fingered lover

Author's Reply:
Hi Ross - tis like old times *sighs* - good to see you here and i like your suggestion - when i stop writing the next poem, have died and been reborn as an editor with a printer, brain and internet connection, i will look at this again!! heart-fingered lover...hm...yes i think i like it - It seems there are too many gardens and gardeners in this poem...thanks Ross xxnx

artisus on 27-03-2009
Secret Gardens
Okay, here is one. But what happened to the other nibs? I thought you had more or something. Explain yourself! pffft

Author's Reply:
was i supposed to re apply for all missing nibs? i cant remember what was nibbed or not nibbed nic, no no no, na na na, neh, neh, neh - shame - i am nibbless, all poems i posted after missing nibs, got nibbled, but nay, didny get nibbed, no nib nick they call me - so i have decided to give it all up, and be a panini maker in Alexandra Palce,xxx

artisus on 27-03-2009
Secret Gardens
I think you were supposed to re apply, yes. It would be great if there were notifications for nibs. Then people could search their archives and could easily find out which ones were nibbed once upon a time. Got is a boring verb you told me once. xxx

Author's Reply:
*all were nibbled* indeed. Notification might be good for those who post and get nibs, yes! and then later lose them, yes. I am wondering if they would have been useful or not, in a picking, choosing, and editing collections phase, perhaps not - i think they should be, should have been! 🙂


Tattoo (posted on: 03-08-07)
Tattoo

There was a time when I thought a Japanese Yakuza (Mafia) tattoo would look quite nice... My name - NI - KI. Now, please concentrate. Some people are terribly afraid of numbers. This is not a story just about numbers, nor for that matter, just one of letters. Neither is it a story about dogma in any form. It is simply a story of liberation. Trust me - I know what I am talking about. Now, if you would be so kind, please pay attention, and do not be afraid. 'KI' is TREE. And in Japanese picture alphabet letters - called Kanji - it looks like one tree too... a Japanese character, one line vertical, and two lines like arms, wings or branches. Meaning: Tree. 'NI' is TWO 'NI'- 'KI' therefore, if you have been paying attention, means: TWO TREES, and I look like one too. Two legs, two arms, two eyes, just like you. If I were to add one more 'KI', I would have a picture of a WOOD. Three tree symbols, in a triangle, in Japanese picture alphabet, makes a wood; but that, is a story for another day. Back to my Tattoo. I thought I would wear it on my sleeve, for doves to peck at. I could have gone from home at The Archway, down Hollywood Road, to Tattoo Artist, Mr Hod, but part of this story, is of how urban myths appeared, and scared me off: Fiction is truth. It is often used for revenge, but if one writes the truth from beneath ones very own two feet, without malice, but for some better purpose, the truth remains, the fiction appears, and the malice is only there for eyes which believe that truth is malice. Personally, I have always believed that eating truth is the best food of all. It is organic, it is rich; granted it can give one indigestion, but the truth is the truth is the truth, and let's face it - as my Grandmother used to say: if you don't want to eat, then don't go to the kitchen. If you want to be (and she had a soft German accent) De Queen of De Nile � then � don't go to feed on the truth. Denial is a necessary thing. We all use it every day to survive. But, go hungry for too long and illness is sure to find you. She also says something about hands and fire, but I wish she would just keep smiling, and shut up about that... So this, is a true story. It is completely harmless though - I promise - it is like eating an apple - simple as that. Let us return to the Tattoo Parlour at the Archway end of Hollywood Road. (It is actually Holloway Road, but the locals really do call it Hollywood Road, in an ironic manner, because it really is a very rough, tough, ugly neighbourhood. I originally posted this story without revealing this fact about the road name change, because I wanted to protect the anonymity of Mr Hod, the Tattoo Artist, and his lovely wife. But, some of my local students at the time, knew the place, and had already heard the urban legends I am about to tell you, and were naturally intrigued, but fortunately no slander or libel lawsuits ensued, on that particular occasion.) However, I still, and always will, write true stories: and these two examples are a couple of urban myths that I heard, the very same night that I was going to go and get my Tattoo. A woman wanted 'ADDICTIVE' inscribed at the top of her inner thigh. Hod wrote, 'ACTIVE' and made her cry. And another true story - a man, in love with himself; in love with himself and The Lie; wanted Hod, upon his head, to fancifully inscribe: 'HEART, STRENGTH, AND PRIDE', but Hod misread and couldn't lie, picked up the Needle and wrote: 'ONE VERY UGLY, GUY' I went in that night, and asked him to write 'HIRSCH OF TWO TREES' in code: You see, my family name is HIRSCH. The meaning in German for 'Hirsch' is 'Deer'. So, in effect, there it is: DEER (for Hirsch) and TWO-TREE, for Ni-ki = HIRSCH OF TWO TREES, my tattoo. Let me explain how this works. If one adds the letters up (and there is good reason for this � which I hope will become clear: in fact, let me explain right now: As you will see in the next paragraph, the name HIRSCH is a long list of numerical digits, and so looks very much like a concentration camp number, and who wants one of those on their arm?) A equals 1. B equals 2. And so on. Just to make this easier to understand H for Hirsch equals 8. Think about it. Count, if you wish. The number for HIRSCH (8=H , 9=I, 18=R ,19=S, 3=C, 8=H.) adds up to: trust me: 65. Then add again, the 6 + the 5, to equal 11, symbolising two single pillars of salt, strength, love, knowledge, and earth. And then, from 11, down again 1 + 1, finally arriving at the binary power number 2. Remember - 'NI' - Japanese for 2, and there you have mirrored, half of my tattoo. Plus the KI, and there it is: NI-KI � TWO TREES or HIRSCH TREE or DEER TREE. I hope that you have understood this. But if not, don't worry, it's not that important and shouldn't completely destroy your enjoyment of the tale. So: By this insane, but perfectly logical process, this is how I settled on the desired shape of my desired tattoo - simply NI-KI - my name, in Japanese Kanji, which looks like two trees, too. Now, HOD can be a little uneven. Just look what happened to the Addict, and the Very Ugly Guy. But, for some reason, there was a glint in his eye that day which made me know to look and turn away. Mr Hod watches us make ourselves an artist's mask or muse. This is just opinion, but he watches us dither to draw either a heart or another self-inflicted wound. When balancing the needle, Mr Hod never mocks or is confused. We ring the bell, all he asks for is a No or a Yes - Mr Hod, is a little like me: He is a bit thick, just an intellect, but not cruel and a pillar of the community, nevertheless. I don't suppose all of you will have met his box clever wife? A pillar-box of the community, she's all heart and brings balance to their life. On that night, I had the good fortune to sit with her a while; talk, apply lotions, drink teas which she called potions, and it was a strong, condensed, organic time of my life. I'll explain because I have the proof, and I'm a little like her, just like you are too. I, like you, have always had one head and many hats - and she, has many names and just, for a split second, one face. But, it is possible to research her identity at a library, on the street, or on line. The most common of all her names, that gives anyone remotely interested in the truth a very simple starting point, is Venus; but as I said, she comes with changing faces, and many, many names, just like you do. And Hod, he too, has one head and many hats. One of his hats, is just like mine, made from mercury and a clear, clear blue; and interestingly enough, Mr Hod, the Tattoo Artist, like me, has not one single tattoo. It was that night, she saw me coming in alone - and in the moonlight, she suggested I go home, to The Archway end of Hollywood Road. Mr Hod, nodded, because he knew that this was truth. His business was done for the evening, with the Addict and The Ugly Guy, and he wanted nothing more, so he put his needle in his pocket, looked at his wife, and simply opened the door.
Archived comments for Tattoo
Rupe on 03-08-2007
Tattoo
I am extremely afraid of numbers, I have to admit, but I enjoyed reading this.

I liked Mr Hod - sounds like he wants watching - and his wife & more generally the tone you achieve here, which is great: relaxed, informative, chatty & gives the reader the feeling that he or she is being taken into the narrator's confidence.

I'm not really sure why, but it reminded me of the tiny bits of Stevie Smith I've read here and there.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Hi Rupe - thanks a lot -i am glad you enjoyed it - it is always a mystery to me what will be enjoyed or not, but it feels good that you did - interesting about the tone - i had hoped the voice was with enough humour to propel this along, without it being too annoyingly instructive - Stevie Smith> 'peculiar'! - nobody has read enough Stevie Smith - is it because she put the miserably sad in her work?! I like this one:


Pad, Pad


I always remember your beautiful flowers
And the beautiful kimono you wore
When you sat on the couch
With that tigerish crouch
And told me you loved me no more.


What I cannot remember is how I felt when you were unkind
All I know is, if you were unkind now I should not mind.
Ah me, the power to feel exaggerated, angry and sad
The years have taken from me. Softly I go now, pad pad.


Stevie Smith


Thanks Rupe for your comments -i am trying to post more prosey instead of the long queue of posey waiting in the vaults - if you read any others of mine, please crit without fear when you see what doesn't do it for you! - cheers xxldx

e-griff on 03-08-2007
Tattoo
What is this? 🙂 it partly intrigued and partly puzzled ...

It's prose but there are internal rhymes.

... and a superfluity of ill-used commas ... (poor things - every comma has a right to be used in the right place, otherwise it becomes disaffected, disillusioned, and may even retreat into itself, shrivelling into a full stop in some cases. Remove those poor misfits and give them a proper job! Make us all happy ... commas and men (generic), I beg you!

G 🙂

Author's Reply:
Who knows what it is? Who? It is not here just for general reading purposes you know? It is here looking for an identity - and, as for commas, are you calling me, a: punctuating 'control freak'? Because, if you are: you would be right. Yes, it is:- a sickness, griffy, and, as i don't want to make any comma unhappy, i will see what i can do. This was originally a poem - which has been s t r e t c h e d some. Personally - i like the word, "folk" . Peace. Thanks man. xxdittydoodetta x


delph_ambi on 04-08-2007
Tattoo
I'm fond of writings that morph from prose to poetry and back again, the more the merrier.

Enjoyed reading this. Could read a whole book of stories written like this, in fact. Have you written one?

Author's Reply:
Hi delph_ambi - glad you enjoyed - that's great. I do enjoy writing prosepoems very much, and i have realised recently that there are quite a few of them knocking about in amongst the poems here, and lurking in the shamefully disorganised depths of my laptop, or scattered around various garages and loft spaces - and others sadly lost to the wind -so yes -i have written a book, i really ought to put them together in one place. Thanks for the idea! Much appreciated, xxldx

If you fancy, try the short 'Serita - your Sari is beautiful' and 'Up River' on page 2
and the longer fiction on page 5 - which is definitely more prosey! Cheers!

Jolen on 07-08-2007
Tattoo
You certainly have the knack for prosy poems, as this clearly shows. I found this very entertaining and quite strong voiced. I think it's one where your voice comes across beautifully and that was a great enjoyment. I am most intrigued by the whole piece but really want to know more about that tattoo now, too! lol

blessings,
Jolen xoox

Author's Reply:
Hello! glad you liked - it's the teacherish voice -the tongue in cheek voice (giggles) because this was too dense as a poem when i put it here before a long time ago, and it was tricky and trippy with all the numbers - so i stretched it. It is about identity, its all true! My old neighbourhood, Archway, my students who recognised the places and stories mentioned - and i was really told those two stories the night before i was going to get a tattoo, down Holloway road. My tattoo? But i don't have a tattoo Jolen! Except this story! I was looking for a bit of balance. Hod is the sphere of mercury. Venus is Netzach - they are opposite each other on the pillars of the Tree of Life. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_of_Life_%28Kabbalah%29


Japanese under the Sun (posted on: 27-07-07)
.

Japanese under the Sun It is red, this sun, and any other word would be glaringly ostentatious, when this poem should reflect the Zen-like quality of a pretty plate of dead sliced fish on palm rolled balls of rice. In which case - the waiter - waits, the chopsticks lift lips of fish, the bamboo knocks to point out stillness, the bubbles lean on ice-cubes in the glass, while the sun ....................bleeds ...........................ecstatic ....................................colours to the sky... *
Archived comments for Japanese under the Sun
Kat on 27-07-2007
Japanese under the Sun
Wonderful! This poem reflects and transports your impressions excellently, I think. Love:

'the bamboo knocks to point out stillness,'

it's just perfect, not unlike your poem.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Kat - two and a half years there helped get this one feeling right, lots of similarities between the people of old island cultures, i think it was a Swedish fella did a study on the psychology of folk from the united kingdom of rocks, and Japan - and came up with many similarities - glad you like it xxx

e-griff on 27-07-2007
Japanese under the Sun
What an appalling bloody poem!

That comma after 'waiter' just wrecks it!

No seriously, nice pome, really 🙂

I spent a lot of time in Japan in the 80's, visiting for three weeks at a time several times a year. I found them much easier to deal with in business than Americans, say. We seemed to have shared values about honesty and honourable behaviour in negotiation and deals. 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi griffy –thanks for commenting – I shall consider that there clompy comma - did you know that in a previous life I was a rainbow belt in various martial arts? Karate, Capoeira…. While your comparison of several nations’ people is noted, did you not notice the stars in this - a poem under the sun? There are stripes on the tablecloth too btw - you are now seeing them I believe? And the stars?…it is because you are unconscious….. ….just coming around….scratching your head… and wondering ‘what did I say?’ :Oo tut tut – fancy a pickle? yoroshuku onigaishimasu *bows* xxldx

(update: *beep beep* Roadrunner here - i am considering a *dash* - what dyou reckon?)

Sunken on 29-07-2007
Japanese under the Sun
In a previous life, Ms. Ditty, you were surely a smiley icon that punctuated many a positive and encouraging message. Another tip top sub. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Rate: 10

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - in a previous life, you are right as usual, i was. However, in this particular one life, at the moment, i am much changed, appearing in a bit-part role i forced upon myself, as a miserable arsewipe trying to convert angry...no make that: violent tendencies, into positive action that will benefit me and the holey world at the same time - fortunately, this too will pass - from right off the Richter scale, all the way back or towards an almost imperceptible ripple of positivity - in the form of a squiggle, on a page - and i shall smile again Sunken, with whiter, sharper teeth too - thanks to Smokers Toothpaste, and a renewed interest in trying my best to learn how to take better care of myself. Do you moisturize? My friend Alison, laughed at me in London when i tried to apply, to myself i hasten to add, the Oil of Ulay cream you suggested i buy. (Superdrug 1/2 Price!) She said i was doing it like a man (i swear i have never had a woman say that to me before - ever - honestly Sunken.......................... (scratch that - it seems i'm presently also delusional, sorry...) Anyway, Alison kindly showed me how to apply said cream - apparently it is to do with wrinkles/ and skin /and which way/ etc - amazing! I don't quite understand what is wrong with wrinkles, but apparently i am supposed to 'moisturize to avoid them' - - frankly, i'm so anxious about forgetting all these new instructions that i have great worry furrows in my brow - can that be right? I think it a cunning ploy by the multinationals to get me to keep buying the cream, or their more expensive Furrow Brow Balm, apparently ' a Lotion for Worriers between the ages of 39 and 39 and a half, with Strawberry Shoes.' Isn't that remarkable? - tho i can't really be sure about any of this, which, at least, is one blissful kind of constant in the life of Ditty on the Green, until instinct, and a keen desire to research, tells me all about it for an instant - and we can move forward, always open to better understanding the nature and culture of these Earthlings, with their pretty smiles, and such a gift of a beautiful planet - WHICH THE TOSSERS ARE REALLY MESSING UP FOR ALL OF####~~~~#~~~ #####...see? I'll have to watch my tongue these days, and write it all down instead. Bless you always Sunken of Turnips - please write and sub a poem, we need you to - thanks.

Ditty xx

(yep, you're right again - We did a survey - agreed by all - you're a 10 - nice to see you thinking so well of yourself these days, *pfs* "Tesco's frozen peas@£1.25" is sooo last season, don't you think? -say Hi to munky xxidx)

Sunken on 29-07-2007
Japanese under the Sun
Ahem, the ten was for you my dear Ditty of Ditsville. It is a tamper proof ten that I have been working on for some time now. Like yourself, I am prone to technical experimentation. You can use the ten as you would any other ten, just don't try to get the back off it though. It is packed with electrical wizardry and you could get burned. Thank you for your wonderful reply. Please take some vitamin c at your earliest convenience and express your love of life via the gift of dance. Good day Ditty.

s
u
n
k
e
n

his arms missed her outline

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - thank you very much for the electric ten - i am sure it will lighten up later when dancing - You didn't notice the absolute perfect fit of your magnetic 10 ? We went for a layered approach in keeping with a poetic theme. Several uka members formed a human chain, took aim, and lowered it earlier from a large Orange crane kindly provided by the Props Department. Excellent - Good day Sunken - good day indeed, xxxditty -

*ban arms, take aims*

discopants on 29-07-2007
Japanese under the Sun
Particularly liked 'bubbles lean on ice cubes'. Nice one, Ms Ditty.

dp
x

Author's Reply:
Hi disco - thanks -i like that image too -and i was just reading our poem again - how did we do that? It's not bad at all! Hope you are having a good day Mr Pants - xxxldx

Jolen on 31-07-2007
Japanese under the Sun
I liked that line Disco quoted and your wonderful imagery..What a great visual ending! You really do take the reader there and back again with your work.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jolen - i try - glad you like this one - have a great day - love from Tenerife, Island of Eternal Spring! xxldx

e-griff on 31-07-2007
Japanese under the Sun
I don't think you need the dash even, but it's fine anyway 🙂

Author's Reply:
i thought you would say that! Thanks John, for often getting me to stop and think - cheers to you xx

teifii on 03-08-2007
Japanese under the Sun
Amazingly descriptive piece. I've never been there but now almost feel that I have,
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff -i nearly missed this lovely comment of yours! i think you have had Japanese students before - they certainly give one some of the flavour of Japan -i'm glad this poem did too - cheers and 'cam-pie' as they say! xxldx

Rosco on 31-08-2007
Japanese under the Sun
I like the way you don't appropriate the methods of haiku or other Japanese tactics to deliver the message. I think the sense of being an outsider and observing the world as one is more authentic, and in your skillful hands quite a pleasure. Here's to Camus!

Author's Reply:


Tandoori under the Moon (posted on: 27-07-07)
poem

Star of Stars - Thank you for your Welcome Taj Mahal luminous on the wall Hands hold roses around a heart Saying: Wish you Were Here For ochra and butter chicken As ice cold Cobra beer slips easily Down the neat, tree-lined paths. Wish You Were Here Before I jump into the picture Of butter chicken and popadom spice Meander the coriander Through the romance of mint And mango; lime pickle, flagrant rice, And the white mausoleum tragedy Of love stories.
Archived comments for Tandoori under the Moon
Kat on 27-07-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
This is very tasty and delightful with a good title. Really like:

'Wish You Were Here
Before I jump into the picture
Of butter chicken and popadom spice
Meander the coriander
Through the romance of mint
And mango; lime pickle, flagrant rice,'

I really like the obliqueness of much of your poetry, ld - the way it sneaks up on a reader. I like the playfulness of 'flagrant'.

Have a great weekend!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat-san, obliqueness, sneaking and playfulness, tis true, glad you thought 'flagrant' ok, i suppose i was trying to say something about obliqueness by that word....perhaps why i refrained from repeating ochra (or is that okra?) and doubled up on the butter chicken instead....i wonder if i did right - reluctantly, 'ladies fingers' may have to wait for another poem!!...i may now have missed the boat, but i am yet to go for a Mexican, so may be there is hope - there is plenty of room to play with Jalapeño and chili peppers - but they don't really do ochra do they?! Thanks for reading Kat - you always brighten my day and attitude to poetry, with your comments - cheers to you with my next cup of ice cold golden nectar by the sea - xxldx

e-griff on 27-07-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
It's interesting, the contrast between your two similarly themed poems today ...

I'm feeling hungry - toast with anchovy essence, I think!

*buzzes off to kitchen*

Author's Reply:
Hi Griffy - you just reminded me of a poem i found in London! Here is a snippet:

It's not all over
'til the fat lady sings
and at present i'm pitch deaf
and skinny with wings!

must eat! I forgot! Thanks for reading my poems xxldx

orangedream on 27-07-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
Flagrant - both your flavoursome poems. I'm with e-griff.

Delicious.

;-)Tina

Author's Reply:
Dear Tina - all great words, especially delicious - thank you so much :o) xxldx

Bootylicious on 28-07-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
This poem is so visual and full of scent. My mouth was watering as I read it. Good one Littleditty.

Booty

Author's Reply:
Cheers Booty - visual and scent - that's food! and probably my most used senses - this reminds me to use more sounds in poems, and i'll take that on for the next one, need to listen more - 'mouthwatering' is a very fine comment for this poem - thank you - that's great - xxldx

shackleton on 29-07-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
Coo... that's a good poem, LD. You've got me hungry for food and romance now. Enjoyed the read!

Author's Reply:
Glad you liked it shackleton - so all that is left to decide is who to ask around for dinner? Thanks for popping by - i kind of feel bad there aren't any snacks and sugary cakes to take away on the way out - i'll ask Andrea if the Catering Department can fix up a little snack table by the door - thanks shackles xxldx

Jolen on 31-07-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
Shit! I agree. Your wording makes one hungry for both...Flagrant is perfect! You have such a way, young LD, and one day, I hope to be traveling it. lol This poem started me off with shimmering thoughts and left me with shivers.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
:Oo - shimmering AND shivers? *does cheeky jig around balcony before adopting nonchalant pose in sunglasses* thanks Jolen - that's great......*faints* ,

xxl.......


...dxx




Leila on 31-07-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
Lovely work littleditty as always, a beautiful sadness to my mind if such exists, but a certain longing if I read correctly between the lines...L

Author's Reply:
YAAaAaaaaaaay...it's Leila :o) - thank you - you always seem to read correctly between the lines -thanks for materialising - thats great - nice to see you here - hope you are well xxldx

Leila on 31-07-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
Thank you ld for your words I am well and hope you are too and glad I read your lovely poem correctly...L

Author's Reply:

teifii on 03-08-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
Are you doing a whole culinary series? Hope so; they are so clever.
Meander the coriander
Through the romance of mint -- brilliant!
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - very glad you think so - i probably will, as I am eating out a bit here in Tenerife, there are flavours from everywhere, cheaper than eating at home, and it's nice to people watch. I sometimes need to be armed though - what's a woman poet to do but take her notebook with? I wrote one called 'Dog TV' but i can't find it - do you know those rotisserie spit, glass front chicken grill machines? They are on the streets here, and other places i've been - the chickens go round and round, the dogs sit and watch? 'Dog TV'!!!! Yep -these can be fun to do - and if they are enjoyed, then super! Thanks Daff xxldx

Macjoyce on 25-08-2007
Tandoori under the Moon

Namaste, litteditty-Begum!

I really fancy a curry now.

Am heartily digging 'Meander the coriander' and the Cobra beer slipping down paths instead of throats.

Flagrant rice?

Ho ho ho. Can rice be flagrant? As in 'openly shocking'? It can now. Doubtless a pun on a more predictable 'fragrant'.

I think the flagrant/fragrant rice would work even better in a poem about a Chinese restaurant...

How about fragrant lice as well?

Velly velly excerrent,

Mac the Larger




(Raja)



Author's Reply:
Mac the Spice -i am sorry i missed this comment -brain like sieve if i cant do things straight away - so internet cut outs has meant i don't know what i'm doing most of the time! Flagrant lice rice MUST go in a Chinese buffet poem - eat as much as you can for a 5 er. And that's Euro, so £3.50 for you, no? £3.45 my final offer...Thanks Mac Poppadom xx

Rosco on 31-08-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
I like this sort of thing. The problem is the other side of the coin. A friend of ours tried to get some relieve from the horror of India and went to the Taj. Unfortunately, just as the interlude of calm, the grounds provide, started to settle in, he noticed a severed hand next to him on the lawn. It was probably dropped by a raven. Could you work that in? Of course Wordsworth never wrote about maggots in dead animals. Perhaps it's best to keep one's inner eye heavenword. It works for me.

Author's Reply:

Rosco on 31-08-2007
Tandoori under the Moon
That last comment was way out of line. I would gladly read a whole book of yours based on your travels to exotic locales. I'd far rather do that than read some scrutiny of geo-political realities by undersexed Anglo authorities from exalted institutions.

Author's Reply:
No it wasn't -it was brilliant! I really wanted the ladies fingers in this poem -and the severed hands WERE in there Rosco -you were the only one to mention them tho -and therefore - you are awarded a life subscription to National Geographic -and a big thank you because i have also just noticed my unanswered comment to Mac the San - shocking, i blame this rubbish internet connection - i am going to press the button now in case it goes again - thank you - and yes - this poem is going to be reworked, i was talking to the owner of the restaurant a couple of days ago - he wants a copy - i'll have to give him a 'version' as he wants to stick it on the wall...he also might have an apartment for me to rent - curry on tap! cheers ross xxx


So Soho (posted on: 09-07-07)
i have a new pair of shoes with strawberries all over them 🙂 They really are shoes to be happy about! Happy summer everyone, its poems with a gay theme this Monday. Here's a speedwrite...

So Soho Rainy Day and Rose Garden, Live, play blues harp and ragtime, and laugh like Bob when they sing 'everybody must get stoned' because they might later, Lesbian Night Cabaret, Rainy Day sweats the mike, teases the bunny-girl waiter, satire pink in tights, 'I wouldn't feel So ho all alone' with come-to-me eyes, bottled or perhaps, perhaps, perhaps, shot at later, 'they'll stone you when you're trying to go ho-home' 'Everybody must get stoned' Harmonica scream it, rainy day women love the horn section, smiling trumpets and trombones - blues harp and Cabaret, loving it through every song. Play it! Twisting lace petticoats, bawdy leather night lights, Soho's right to passion - gay rights. Piccadilly supping company, down the pride of Charing Cross, see you later by the bar down at Molly Mogs, where Crystal Decanta sings brave and warm take a taxi, ban the bomb.
Archived comments for So Soho
Kat on 09-07-2007
So Soho
Hi ditty

I really love the exuberance and gay abandon! And I want strawberry shoes! This is fun, raunchy and I love the playfulness, eg.

'I wouldn’t feel So… ho… all alone…’

'women love the horn section,'

And I'm sure you've mentioned Crystal Decanta to me before - great name! Great legs, too?

This is happy - happy summer to you too!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat :o) glad you liked it - yes, Crystal plays Molly Mogs, next to Leicester square, tiny pub, great sing along, great legs - and smiles - i am attempting to add a pic of strawberry shoe for Sunken - it's for his shoe graph i think - Texas doesn't have any strawberry shoes? Absurd! - i can send you a pair from London! I hope you are having a good time over there - thanks Kat xxx

Sunken on 09-07-2007
So Soho
Lol. Ditty, Have I told you lately that I love youuuuu? And your shoes of course. What a brilliant write. It's like a stream of consciousness... or should that be unconsciousness? Do we get see said shoes? I demand (in a nice way) to see a picture. You are, after all, very technological. Picture or no picture, they sound great. I want a pair of shoes in a banana stylie. Tops stuff Ditty. You always make me smile, not easy after my recent discoloured cornflake incident. Thanks.

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save the planet - eat a turnip

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - please know that the strawberry shoes and I are presently awaiting enough daylight to take a photo for viewing at your convenience - it's been a long night and the strawberries are becoming a little impatient - rest assured though, that no strawberry shall be harmed in the making of this pic - glad you liked the poem - who messed with your cornflakes? That's just not right.

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Sunken on 10-07-2007
So Soho
Lol. They are the best shoes ever Ms. Ditty. They should be made compulsory in run down inner cities. I must remind you, however, to engage caution when strawberry picking in said footwear. I wouldn't want someone taking your shoes by mistake. Thank you for posting the pick on your uka homepage and no mistake (-:

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save a fig - skip lunch

Author's Reply:
good point there sunken, thanks. Now - i'm glad that i have a reply here to write as quite frankly i am feeling a little lull, generally - may i use up some of my silly mood, waffling? You don't mind do you? It's just i am considering getting a psued - a pen name, and i thought i might be able to discuss my various ideas so far, with a munky. These fine ones have already been sadly discarded - Ima Quill, Ade Inkblot, Ben Dover, Ivor Style, Ivan Aye Deer, etc...and i am now toying with more feminine or female ones - what about - Lady Shoebox - what dyou think sunken? Lady Shoebox Purple Rainbow Worrier, Stoned in da House, aka Doo Doo - running into Aga doo doo doo on performance nights-
Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree,
Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee,
To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees,
Come and dance every night, sing with the hula melody.
br>(Black Lace, Agadoo-doo-doo)
its quite performance poet type isn't it....but i'm not sure if it suits? May be something that goes more with my new shoes...what about Ms Straw Berry? I shall go and ask Crystal and Rose - they should be able to help i think...It's a tricky business - ah well.... have a lovely weekend, sunken of Turnips on the Green, Ditty (sponsored by Figs) xx

Sunken on 14-07-2007
So Soho
Hello Ms. Ditty. How lovely to hear from you. I have tried to contact Munky regarding said topic (jeezus, am I talking like him now?) but I cannot get answer. I have learned not to walk in on him unannounced as it often leads to embarrassment. As you are a lovely lady I shall not go into detail. I sometimes wish that I was a lady Ms. Ditty. You all seem infinitely more refined than us blokes and no mistake. For my part, I will always love the Ditty name and am hopeful that you will still keep it (as well as your new experimental name). I agree that something feminine would suit you down to the ground. It must also be happy sounding. Lets face it, dower and melancholy has been done to death. 'Lady shoebox' has a ring to it, but I also like the idea of getting a strawberry in there. 'Strawberry Shoebox'? Wasn't that a band? A Scottish female duo from the 80's if I remember rightly... No, I'm thinking of Strawberry Switchblade. Google them, they were strangely pretty, especially the dark haired one. I am sorry that I haven't been of much use. I will try to get Munky's advice when he comes out of his room. He has his own computer now... No good can come of it and no mistake. Feel free to waffle me whenever you like Ms. Ditty of Strawberry fame.

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dreams of yesterday

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken - thanks for all your suggestions - best not mention the 80's though, thanks all the same - have you noticed how life gets better all the time? I've decided that i am going to leave things as they are for now - littleditty has only one pen name, and Nicky suits just fine. (I wanted to tell you that I've read upstairs about your concerns -i get dizzy up there, so just wanted to say that your tens always meant a sunky 10, were stamped *approved by munky*, and put on the appropriate pile, no ten, another pile) - cheers Sunken of Turnips - and re 'ladies' - have they really got you that fooled? - thanks, xxxditty x


Broken Rubber Sole (posted on: 09-07-07)
resub - when attacked for love or loving....you got to bounce back...

Broken Rubber Sole 1 How many times did I bring you to the very brink of what you are? How many times did your crazy eye turn like laser into mine? How many times did my "No." make your magma crack and your lava hands and molten feet spasm to batter and lash to shatter mine? I did nothing, but kept standing up - you; you showed your face... 2 A kick-in under the clock by street baiters was then, nothing much - no one blamed or punished - no one collared or touched. But when we shared it, something changed: our sad and angry soft sure pride and shame. We were on the water break oars of Camden Lock when from the dock, they threw half full cans of Special Brew to hit our feet and holding hands. 3 Then, P.C. 'better' years later, also with you my love, the shooting from the flats in Archway Place: It had me standing up - in front of your bullet broken rubber sole, lost, but this time so enraged, holding in my hand your torn off boot lace, shouting like a mountain to the hidden gunman, a sad coward with no guts, sniping from the safety of a hunting hutperhaps still there as smoky miasma for us to trace, and me still calling you to stand, and simply show your face.
Archived comments for Broken Rubber Sole
orangedream on 10-07-2007
Broken Rubber Soul
Oh, ld this is such strong stuff. Had to read it twice (shall read it more as well) to get the full impact of it. The second time I did - right between the eyes, the first stanza in particular. The volcano imagery - extremely effective and clever. Years by the way since I've been to Camden Lock, but I used to know it well.

Loved the line:- "...shouting like a mountain
to the hidden gunman ..."

and the last line I found extremely moving in its simplicity:-

"... calling you to stand, and simply show your face."

Very much enjoyed, thanks ld,
:-)xxTina

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 10-07-2007
Broken Rubber Soul
Sorry, ld. I hadn't noticed it was a re-sub till just now. Didn't catch it first time round, obviously, but glad I did this time!

:-)Tina x

Author's Reply:
hi Tina -thank you for your lovely comments - i think it is a resub because i remember some comments, may have deleted it in a pruning session! Long time ago poem, thanks for reading this one, i edited a little, thought i'd post it - i'm trying to leave London, sneaking away in a new pair of strawberry shoes - hope all is well in the House of Orange - cheers xxldxx

barenib on 12-07-2007
Broken Rubber Sole
This is certainly a very interesting poem that moves through its phases with assurance and tells the story of a relationship that's certainly taken a battering! You've created some fine images and phrases in doing so and I agree that the volcano metaphor is probably the strongest. An enjoyable piece - John.

Author's Reply:
Hi John -thanks for your reading - you have got me thinking - may be i need to separate the first stanza a little more somehow - did this before by there being no number 3 - maybe i could use italics for the first, but i did want there to be a flow through - hands, feet, face is the link through each stanza, as how we take our past actions decisions and moral into other relationships...hmm - i may fiddle a bit - thanks John, Nicky x

artisus on 03-09-2007
Broken Rubber Sole
!!!!!!!!!!!! i remember this cool poem of yours. very intriguing and powerful in an awakening/strengthening the inner world way or something (1 strophe-poem especially). cheers, -xxxx-

ps: How many times did your crazy eye
turn like laser into mine?

impressive!

Author's Reply:
Hi nic -it's all diary - i am having a poetical crisis, and i shouldn't - i should just carry on as usual -write my diary and drink my milk :o) - what are you doing snoopying around these parts? *Flash* - ok nic -i won't be excessive, i will have the odd drink, and not much etc, - i hope everyone has fun at the wedding - i'm ready to have fun -my crazy sister has got my Dad to dance her down the aisle - i think this is a masterstroke -i am going to cry a lot, i've started already...i might have to write a poem about my wedding!!!!! He was soooo handsome, i was....well - very fat and wore a brown Indian dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What am i talking about??? see you later nic -keep well, be well -oh you know what I mean -toodlepip xx


Home (posted on: 18-06-07)
poem

Home The treble since leaving; the screech, the engines, mechanical lungs, cymbal, drum, slice of sliding doors, the meddle of straight lines chiselling the space around expansive curves; no cello. Slime, billboards, neon signs, a cityscape painted pollution, lip curled rebel graffiti stretching our sights up and over the nape of walls lining up with reasons... graffiti shouts down at hammer feet guests on tarmac; shuffling, ducking and diving, the busy-ness of heading somewhere - and still, how infinite seems the small space of quiet within, found in an eye on a train, or in a cabin under the sea, through a rusty metal hull - silence swells to send the city symphony hurtling, quietly faraway... in search of space, for time to expand that look, graffiti the walls; cello horsehair on the string, pull a note to carry faraway - or quietly, in sleep, dream sonata on electric folds of silk, in a nap pull the lidded bow lightly over skin, in the calm after rondo folds of silk, again, a still point, in a serenade home, where a bell rings faraway along the scent of shoreline where I would like to be when hands wrap metronome around desire in the silent hum where I am home in moments so peaceful with you
Archived comments for Home
e-griff on 18-06-2007
Home
Ah, still on the musical theme, I see.

I especially liked 'meddle' (of straight lines) and its near-rhyme with treble.

I also liked 'lidded bow'.

best JohnG

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading John -written before the other, seems like ages ago, i'm just more homesick now - bit musical this one, cheers! xxldx

Linear on 19-06-2007
Home
Nice, I like the feeling of chaos, isolation, very cool poem.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Linear - glad you liked it :o) xxldx

delph_ambi on 19-06-2007
Home
Complex and rich writing. Very effective aural imagery.

Author's Reply:
Thanks delph - glad you thought so - cheers :o)

orangedream on 19-06-2007
Home
As egriff points out, another of your 'musical' series. This is beautiful.

Loved 'busy-ness'!

but my favourite two lines of all:-

'after rondo folds of silk, again, a still point
in a serenade home, where a bell rings, faraway.'

Magic.

;-)Tina x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - it's true there are a few subbed now -timbre, harmonics, musicality, studio 1234 - i'm going to have a look for some others - glad you like this one - cheers Tina xxxldx

Sunken on 20-06-2007
Home
(-: Ditty, you is a star. I think this is bloomin marvelous. So much so, that I am not going to mention the following - Argos, graphs, tea, chocolate or even Kylie. Seriously Ms. Ditty, a very strong write.

'neon signs, a cityscape painted pollution, lip curled
rebel graffiti stretching our sights up and over
the nape of walls lining up with reasons... '

Oh yeah, nice.

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in charge of pigeons, 2 - Humberside, 3

Author's Reply:
Oh buggar - my reply to you has disappeared! - it was a nice little reply too -i blame links - don't worry, Kylie does nothing for me - im just glad you like this one....oh - i'm told the conveyor belt at Argos is still out of bounds, even for paying customers, just in case you had forgotten - would you please graffiti some of their catalogues with comedy beards and moostaches on your next visit? Someone said they are too cheap to use human models in their catalogues - is this true? Thanks.

xxxditty x

Kat on 20-06-2007
Home
It's the sounds in this and the poet's skill in positioning the words so well together that they form an orchestra which is in great tune... and how they resonate. Really enjoyed the opening stanza and the echo that: 'treble', 'meddle' and 'cello' created. The final stanza is a very effective finish - very unique work from a great poet.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Aw Kat - you know how to help a ditty feel better...there were a few more echos, i snipped a bit- glad you thought its musical - it was the way the 'sonata form' was written about somewhere, that resonated as a poetic form, and got me started i think - now thinking about sonnets - how the structures of sonnets are similar to the sonata form i reckon...oh for a reliable internet connection to go investigate! thank you for a such a KAt comment with miles of smilage - i've got a spot of writer's elbow at present, so very much appreciated! xxldx


Sunken on 20-06-2007
Home
Dear Ms. Ditty, Argos have been unable to use real people in their catalogues for about ten years now. It all spans back to a terrible lawn mowing incident that occurred in 1997. One of the models lost an arm and the legal proceedings that followed cost Argos very dear indeed. They now use cardboard cut-out people and ,occasionally, life size teddy bears are utilised. I hope this information is of some help to you and that we can move on from this point and enjoy a brighter and more prosperous future.
I had a vibration that Kylie wasn't your type. I just have a soft spot for the young lady and often find myself, quite by chance, dancing around my cell in golden hot pants. You're more an Amy Winehouse lady, of this I have little ditty doubt. I like her too, though she does scare me a bit. Do you know she's doing the next Bond theme?
Sorry about your writers elbow. I blame writing and would, on this occasion, recommend oil of ulay. Have a lovely day Ms. Ditty.

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her bucks refused to fizz until the music stopped

Author's Reply:
tooo funnnny! Have a lovely day you too Sunken xxx


Black Jack (posted on: 18-06-07)
poem

Black Jack My staff vertical in the corner where I left it resting stands crosier in the mirror admiring its shaft cut from a quaking aspen says the glass humming while I drink from my black jack polish my shiny ingot into a convenient shape and pour tea for two * First Black Jack Link Second Black Jack Link
Archived comments for Black Jack
e-griff on 18-06-2007
Black Jack
Nice wee pome - and educational too!

you can make your links 'live' using this:

Blah blah (a href="http://www.xxxxxxxxx") link text(/a)

where all the ( , ) are actually < - type brackets in the appropriate direction.

If I hadn't altered them you wouldn't see them 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi John - am i on drugs? blah blah where the (,) are actually <....? i feel a bit scared, but i may try and figure out what you are going on about....do < make things disappear? Its an amazing world griffy -thanks for trying to explain such things to me! xxldx

admin on 18-06-2007
Black Jack
Yes, very nice.

Have done links for you, Ditty. If you want to change text, just alter the First/Second Black Jack Link bit it edit



Author's Reply:
Thanks admin - i think i will change nothing as i don't understand anything at all! - thank you and griffy for helping me - i feel quite happy with my new flashy links and shall try pressing them - if anything explodes, that's all i did, i promise - cheers! ditty xxx

e-griff on 18-06-2007
Black Jack
oops, sorry I meant to say the feature of this poem that I admired most was the great line breaks which made the rhythm

Author's Reply:
Thanks John - glad you liked it xxldx

Sunken on 18-06-2007
Black Jack
Dear Ms. Ditty of Dittswold on the green, only you could write a poem about a leathery jug and do it justice. I followed the links you supplied and was most fascinated by those curly boots with bells on. Do you think feet were actually shaped like that in the olden days? Perhaps Andreathology will know, lol. Don’t worry, she won’t see this. As entertainingly different as always Ms. Ditty. Please take a bow and a complimentary chocolate treat from the silver tray in the foyer. Thanks.

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Empire state budgie

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - Byron's curly boot jug with bells on - how did your footwear graph turn out? Last i heard you were starting a Venn Diagram, and i thought you may have missed this one. Fortunately Eric Peterson can tell us more about The Aspen - i am sorry that this link is in the condition it is in, http://www.wyorange.net/Spots/scripts/2003%20scripts/018AspenFireEcology.htm

Thanks for the theatrical choc on a silver platter! - fancy a cuppa? - i have a pic from India somewhere on this laptop and will attempt to put it on my page - please help yourself on the way out. Thanks sunken :o) xxditty x



delph_ambi on 19-06-2007
Black Jack
This is a super poem. Highly original content and treatment.

Author's Reply:
Hi delph - glad you think so - thanks for telling me - cheers! xxldx

orangedream on 19-06-2007
Black Jack
You've done it again, ld! Ditto delph 🙂

Tina xx:-)

Author's Reply:
i did? xx:^o glad you like it Tina - thanks xxldx

Sunken on 20-06-2007
Black Jack
Lol. Lovely picture Ms. Ditty. My footwear graph came to a standstill I'm afraid. I ran out of black felt tip. I was using an array of colours and black was meant to signify Doctor Martens. I hope to complete it later as I have new pens on order from Argos. Thanks for the cuppa. It was most enjoyable and no mistake.

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but it was not always that colour, she insisted

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - you're welcome - you have reminded me that i have had to part with many pairs of DMs - i am having a flashback to a soft brown tan oilskin pair i left under a bed in the Philippines, but enough about that - black was always in Monkey Boots - remember them? you may not have been on Earth at that time - but they were lighter, better for running away! Good luck with Argos, watch out for the conveyor belt, recommend steel toe cap attitude of the 1980's xxxditty x

shackleton on 24-06-2007
Black Jack
Nicely crafted poetry, Littleditty. Was it a cup of Darjeeling? Bye now.

Author's Reply:
Thanks shackleton - it might well have been Darjeeling - very refreshing - glad you enjoyed, thanks for telling me xxxldxx


Harmonics (posted on: 11-06-07)
poem...thanks to Jolen for her suggestions, i snipped a bit 🙂

Harmonics My polyphony butterflies your passing note. There's my 7th - a needy hybrid - jazzy, unpredictable, suspended; hovering over the wrong chord, propagating like Coltrane overlapping; cascading - bubbling a volatile stream, and vulnerable, when I meant to take it slow. The mystical quality of harmony pointed to the planets, 'heavenly music', or a musical outpouring of love, while I was busy wondering about chaos, structure, and moments of perfect understanding. It is simple. Primary triads are colourful progressions of chords heading to the dominant and back again. You are my tonic; the bagpipe drone, and the voice. I know refrains of parallel notes are the lines of our separation. They say it is a fault of the eye to see lines converging, as I say it is a fault of the ear, all along the bend of a harp. How deaf are we to the magnetic aspect of notes, leaning back into the music of another? We chose chord progression, and searched for the third melody note to hit two drones. We became robust major three note chords, or fragile minor triad tones, each dominant, each a tonic. We knew nothing, wrote it down, and they say they hear Nature breathing, augmented or diminished, in every breath. Play on, I say. They say it is a fault of the eye to see parallel lines converging, as I say it is a fault of the ear, all along the bend of a harp. *
Archived comments for Harmonics
Sunken on 11-06-2007
Harmonics
Dear Ms. Ditty of Ditsville on the green, do you know that you are really big in Sunksville? Tis true I tells ya. I love it when you get all experimental. Actually, I tend to think that some of your none-experimental stuff is kinda experimental. Do you think I've said 'experimental' enough now? I hope Ms. Jolen of Swollensville was gentle with you, I'm sure she was. It is important that we look after our Ditty and no mistake. My fave snippet from your latest sub is -

The mystical quality of harmony pointed to the planets,
'heavenly music', or a musical outpouring of love,

also

We became robust major three note chords, or fragile minor
triad tones, each dominant, each a tonic. We knew nothing,


I sometimes wish I was experimental. I fear explosions tho Ms. Ditty. It all goes back to when I experimented with Brasso and Windolene as a child. I cannot speak too much on said subject as it causes me to cry. My neighbours wonder why my windows are so dirty and why my brass knockers are so dull. I tell them nothing, preferring instead to appear mysterious and aloof. I play on this by interlacing fibers of shredded wheat into my eyebrows. Anyway, that's not important right now. Well done again Ms. Ditty. A truly smashing write and no mistake. Thanks.

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news regarding the death of her mouse fell to him

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - this is 'Experimental' because the management has provided this nice button icon - at the other place with the cherries, they dont have such a button - they dont have a button for just 'poetry' which upsets me - all this genre choosing gets on my nerves really - but this is definitely 'Experimental' because i wrote it while watching TV and eating takeaway food. Jolen appeared suddenly with lots of good suggestions, and i tried to make it become a poem of sorts - what does it say? I am still wondering, but its got something going on, make no mistake - but this is not important right now:



Your window cleaner is ripping you off if that Brasso incident is still unresolved, i would make myself clear... have no fear of explosions as the ingredients have changed, and tell said window cleaner to sod off for pete's sake - don't you want shiny windows Sunken? You are mysterious, and i can see how the shredded wheat thing might make you appear aloof - come to think of it, would you mind if i try interlacing? Do you think it might make me look mysterious, and perhaps, nonchalant? No? No. You're right tho...having brass knockers like foghorns isn't very mysterious is it? Re mysteriousness, do you find the shredded wheat thing works as well as your visionary tags? I'm open to suggestions as my recent attempts at response tagging are hopelessly naive, and my mysteriousness is pretty shoddy also.....i blame free-basing pure dark Cocoa 80%(Green and Blacks organic) Oh dear Sunken -A Cadbury's Twirl and a packet of Quavers just doest cut it anymore 🙁 but thanks for choosing your fav snippets, and thanks for your in depth critter ways - p.s i'm hearing voices, a message for you Sunken *sub a poem or the hamster gets it* - and it's a voice i haven't heard before 😮



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e-griff on 11-06-2007
Harmonics
this is an intriguing poem. As a musician myself I liked the 'techie' musical words etc. 😉

I'm going to have to read it again. I have not yet completely understood the length and progression of it.

In the meantime, I have a couple of suggestions. I don't think you need the quote marks around 'heavenly music', the meaning is clear without them and they sort of intrude.
Also it would definitely be correct to have a full colon instead of a semi after 'tonic' as the drone and the voice describe what the tonic is and so are successive to tonic.

Author's Reply:
Ah..thank goodness...a musician - i had hoped somebody who knew something re music would come along and tell me it makes sense to them - i am wondering about the sense it makes to me still :o, so: tonic = drone and voice - yes...but i wanted two separate tonics there somehow, so reason for bad semi colon 🙂 perhaps for a simple sound maybe it could read something like - You are the tonic to my bagpipe drone and voice! i've been told it's all a bit 'obtuse' - twas some ideas/notes on music, musicality and writing using the terminology of harmonics, the quotation marks there, well may be they can go, the whole verse is a bit wry i think. Odd write this one - :o) thanks griffy xxldx

e-griff on 11-06-2007
Harmonics
have now read it again at leisure, it fits well and I understood it all. very well thought through, IMO, bold enough, but subtle where it needs to be.

best, JohnG

Author's Reply:
Thanks John, there is some sense to it! glad you can read a narrative - thanks for telling me xxxldx

e-griff on 11-06-2007
Harmonics
OK. I'm giving you a rare 'Griffpick' for this!

I liked it!

Author's Reply:
😀 a Griffppp...*faints*

Sunken on 12-06-2007
Harmonics
Lol. Ref -

'but this is definitely 'Experimental' because i wrote it while watching TV and eating takeaway food'

Perhaps my favourite quote from you so far Ms. Ditty. I must be more experimental than I thought, given this information?

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it's a test designed to provoke an emotional response

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunk - you often create your verses this way? It is as i thought. You are a munky in touch with your slothy side -but i bet you recycle... Have you checked the back of the sofa for coins recently? I found £1.78 - enough for a Spring Roll. You know, we'd all chip in for a takeaway if you'd sub the poem? Thanks.

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tests are frustrating for the psychic

orangedream on 14-06-2007
Harmonics
Hi ld - completely missed this one. I have read it through three times and each time it has meant more. As usual, with your pieces, such clever use of vocabulary, which weaves and interlaces its way throughout. Tuneful -in its construction almost. I love music and play piano - but I can't abide reading music. Just do my own thing. Actually, that's probably because I was absolutely hopeless at music theory. It is extremely 'mathematical' and I don't have a mathematical mind at all.

Love the ending,

'They say it is a fault of the eye to see parallel lines converging'.

Made me really think. Apparently it is all to do with lines of sight - when drawn in perspective, apart from those on the perpendicular, they meet at 'vanishing' point. A kind of 'now you see it, now you don't' sort of affair.

Unlike your poem, ld, which will stay in my mind.

;-)Tinaxx

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - glad you liked it - maths music/theory and poetry kind of go together - studying the theory and the forms etc, i would like too -but i am a bit lazy - prefering jammin' jammin' - the ending, funny ive a poem written with 'the vanishing point of desire' in it - may be i'll find it and post it - the notes that make a chord are written on parrallel lines, of music score - got me thinking along those lines :o)- thanks for your lovely interesting comments Tina, cheers, Nicky x

Bradene on 14-06-2007
Harmonics
I've read this several time LD, I don't know diddly sqat about the mechanics of music but I love youe clever use of language even if I don't understand it completely, each time I read it it seems the light turns up a notch... who knows if I read it a few more times it will be like St Paul on the road to Damascus. it sings that's for sure. Val x

Author's Reply:
Dear Val - i dont know diddly squat too - but im glad that you enjoyed the read, and if it sings then i'm well happy :o) Thanks for your lovely comments Val, LDx

Jolen on 14-06-2007
Harmonics
Oh Ditty Girl! What a fine job you have done here. I love the edits. Very fine work and I do seem to 'appear out of nowhere' often, I suspect it is due to my being a Witch. Thanks for the thanks, but this was all good from the get go.

I hope this finds you well, and enjoying the days.

blessings,
Jolen
P.S. I'd give it a Witch Pick too, but hell, then it would just be 'picked to death' and that's no way to treat such a fine piece.;)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen - glad you like it -i think i chopped some, it was a little all over the place draft - i like it better now, your suggestions helped me edit edit - cheers...i'm fine, dawg tired, have a great weekend Jolen :o) ditty x


Painter Masseuse (posted on: 21-05-07)
poem

You came to me and first I saw your Nature. I made colours and all things sensory to relate myself to you. and in this way you were, not there, in the shuffle of my canvas but in the space between brush and stroke. So it was, much later, my body, for the first time with brush in hand made your body, and soon I moved to be with you, and by painting the first canvas, sensing an appearance of you by traversing the heat rising up through my hands, not to clutch at air, not to grasp at spaces but to warm the room. My hands are yours, my fire mine, understanding your nature by the movement of your words, the voice that placed you in activity from across the room, the breath of you, bringing you into being; your scope, pace, and the sway, the way I could sense a soul I love. And then I painted in sickness, forgive me. I am the painter masseuse who learned to paint portrait faithfully with my eyes, reading the human body for signs of its pain, its lies, and its truth and my trust, broken, and battered by the past, painted poorly when you went home, and put on canvas, artichokes. I count hours in fractions of time that you excuse the soft brain; only eat the soft heart, because the spikes are old, and all mine.
Archived comments for Painter Masseuse
Sunken on 21-05-2007
Painter Masseuse
Dear Ms. Ditty, you always write pieces that require more than one read. Is this a clever ploy on your part to keep me away from the Argos Superstore (and hence allow you easier access to the latest bargains)? It's a disgrace (-: Hope you are well Ms. Ditty. I seem to be saying that a lot today. Why I'm expecting everyone to be ill is, to be quite frank, beyond both my good self and the window cleaner. I wish he'd naff off. He's putting me off my in-depth critique. Nice one Dittster. What are you mainly eating this week?

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her apparent unease was lost on both him and the psychic surgeon

Author's Reply:
cous cous. Have been for months - and stock cubes, all flavours. I took myself out for dinner on Saturday night tho'. Special treat, wrote a poemy type thing on a large napkin that the completely round waiter gave me, and treated myself to a Pizza and a beer. It is a funny ol' life Sunk - not always easy being a ditty of little but I'm well, thanks for asking - just cleaning my windows funnily enough, might shine them up with that napkin....i expect i'll be ill shortly, so don't worry. I haven't been to Argos for ages, honest - open the window, go get those bargains, go, go - and thanks for reading my ditty,

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his shammy shined

freya on 21-05-2007
Painter Masseuse
Little one, I think this is excellent. Highly evocative. I love your use of metaphor; it's masterful. Only some small things seemed a bit ragged; mostly I felt your poem needed punctuation and a little change in tense - to give it definition and to clarify your meaning. Which I hope I clearly understood.

I took the liberty of editing the whole accordingly and sometimes this changes the line lengths, though I like your instinctive breaks as they occur. Still, this is simply easier than picking out a word here, a phrase there. See what you think? T thought the opening very strong.

You came to me
and first I saw your Nature.
I made colours
and all things sensory
to relate myself to you.

In this way you were,
not there in the shuffle of my canvas,
but in the space between brush and stroke.

So it was my body, for the first time,
with brush in hand, made your body.
I moved to be with you, and by painting
the first canvas, sensed an appearance of you
by traversing the heat rising up through my hands.
Not to clutch at air, not to grasp at spaces,
but to warm the room.

My hands were yours, my fire mine, understanding
your nature by the movement of your words,
the voice that placed you in activity
from across the room. The breath of you.
I brought you into being; your scope,
pace, and the sway I love.

And then I
painted in sickness.
Forgive me.
I am the painter masseuse
who learned to paint portraits faithfully
with my eyes, reading the human body
for signs of its pain, its lies, and its truth.
My trust,
broken, and battered by the past,
painted poorly when you went home,
and put on canvas, artichokes.

I count hours in fractions of time.
Excuse the soft brain; only eat the soft heart
because the spikes are old. And all mine.



Author's Reply:
Hi there :o) - thanks so much for the edit - i am sure you have made it clear and more ordered - i wanted to leave it as it was written for a while, as i like something about the raggedness of it - but it is so useful to have edits to look at for when i come back to this one - slightly frazzled at the mo - and have just packed my printer so unfortunately i cant compare them for a while yet, but i will do when i get off the plane! - thanks a lot Ms Freya - that's great - cheers xxditty x

delph_ambi on 22-05-2007
Painter Masseuse
I just used artichokes in a poem myself, so I applaud your good taste in independently arriving at a similar metaphor 🙂

Love this poem. It washes over the reader, building its images, drawing the reader into its world. Super writing.

Author's Reply:
Hi delph - really happy you like it - like what you said, building images - yes - drawing the reader into its world - is interesting - thank you for super comment - cheers xxxldx

orangedream on 23-05-2007
Painter Masseuse
Hi there ditty - I tried painting an artichoke once - it turned out looking more like a very sad pear with spikes on.

As usual, a beautiful poem, written in your own inimitable style.

More power to your pen:-) and your paintbrush, if you've a mind.

;0)Tina


Author's Reply:
Hi Tina 😮 a very sad pear with spikes on? 🙁 ...this sounds like some of the awful pear-try i've written recently - however, i am now on a strict fruit diet - only writing about fruit - quite painterly - glad you liked this one, thanks for telling me :O)xxditty x

Jolen on 01-06-2007
Painter Masseuse
Nicky:
I sit here and feel this piece as it 'massages' me, and then, like oils, it begins seeping through to the human 'infrastructure' and oh, what a feeling!

Evocative, yes, and visual, clever, tender, honest, and seriously fine work!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Jolen: 😀 ...i think i like poetry again *skips merrily around living room* thanks Jolen, glad you liked it - you have cheered me up, and i am very grateful as i have recently absconded...i am presently missing...and intend to write my way back tonight - which feels very luxurious in the middle of this busy bit that has me by the scruff - hope you are well and happy - I'm in London if you are around xxx

gilded_kage on 11-08-2007
Painter Masseuse
I love this part:

And then I
painted in sickness,
forgive me.
I am the painter masseuse
who learned to paint portrait faithfully
with my eyes, reading the human body
for signs of its pain, its lies, and its truth –

It's so incredibly cool that you start out with an ode to the beloved, and to your passion, and that then, suddenly, you turn to how you "painted in sickness" because you paint "faithfully" to truth. Such a great turn in a romantic poem which reaches its apex with "a soul I love."

"painted in sickness" makes me wonder...is the speaker painting in a sickness she sees in the beloved? or is she inventing it, putting it in, because she can't deal with the beloved's perfection? Or is she painting, while sick?

Author's Reply:
Hi gilded_cage - glad you like it and think it's cool. Yes -all of the above - and therefore the painter paints also what is not healthy in self. Thanks for your reading and good comments - xxldx


I can still smell the Eucalyptus (story poem) (posted on: 21-05-07)
story...for Tanya

* I can still smell the Eucalyptus Apache, the tanned horse we'd found, had been lost from the grazing garden above the town. We led him to our home, borrowed brushes... Neighbourly folk came with herbs in cooking pots, with their kindly tin wrapped remedies for wounds. From our purple veranda we watched him graze in the moonlight and in the quiet of the noisy night he must have slipped our gaze, flicked the bolted gate and then, again escaped! From the telegraph poles, the owls hooted and took flight - so we turned right to find him on the silvery ribbon road waiting by the forest of Eucalyptus. You took his face, spoke his name, scolding and stroking his nose. "He's well - he wants company: Patch? Were you waiting for us?" and taking his mane, you cartwheeled onto his back... ...like you should, a sound now, getting faster and lighter into the darkening tangles and slow soft places, of our fine pine wood. ***** I can still smell the Eucalyptus, Part Two They rode all night. I watched them in dreams hatched from two golden moons that had risen from the mountain, like The Golden Egg they had shared long before, in a moment of tenderness. Deep in the wood, Patch and rider stopped to drink by the side of the clearest aquamarine pool. The water was sweet ice in the dark, the wood silent except for the sound of their hot speeding breath, but, as each heart slowed, and their breath eased, shallow and rested, the pool became a lake fed by many rivers. Dawn was just about to break, a pink dawn, and creaking down one river line, the rider saw the old barge, The Rusting Heart, filling the last moments of the night with a screeching of metal against mettle, heart against heart. The rider could do nothing except cover her ears, her heart so full; but her healing hands were tied, tied to her ears by the side of the lake. Patch heard the noise but could not look up. So soon before, Patch had been healed by herbs from the cooking pots of the kindly town folk, and not yet trusting the faculty of memory, wanted this night not to end so soon. But dawn is dawn, and the screeching and clanging of the barge sent shrapnel shards into every old wound, bringing Patch down on one knee, on two knees, hind legs buckling, and Patch fell heavy on the bank. The Rusting Heart screamed, 'Charon comes back when Chiron has been' and she lurched, clanged, and smashed through the waves she had created on the pond, finally slinking again out of sight as the sun rose through the pink lips of cloud rising above the wood for the trees. When all was quiet once more, the rider took her hands from her ears and wiped the tears from her eyes. Patch lay on the grassy bank, a closed eye, and the opened wounds seeped much pain into the earthy sand. She knew time was short. The new wound at the stomach was red raw, a fatal blow unless she acted quickly, but without her herbs she had little hope. She lay her hands on the wound, put faith next to doubt, and doubt next to faith, and the heat from her hands began to evaporate the excess puss from the other seeping wounds spilling memories onto the grass. Patch was no longer there. Patch was echo only, but looking down on the rider and her healing hands, and listening to the fallen shell of the horse�s body, Patch listened; close to death, for echo false, and echo true ; echo false, and echo true . The rider prayed her way; her hands extracting the hurt, saving the skin; extracting the hurt, saving the skin; and educating the healing spring in the nature of Patch, to font up some cover for the wound. It was to be a long, long morning... ***** (musical interlude) The Golden Egg At The Golden Egg, a cafe, where ugly folk eat all day breakfasts, we sip, smoke, read The Mirror, The Sun, take notes in reams. An old couple in bobble hats, crater moon expressions face their plates, each other, over his fried slice and beans. They slurp with all the time in the world. I think they must be cold, no jokes, nothing more to win. I think it's all over - until she chokes, dribbles on a bit of gristle and he wipes the egg yolk from her chin. ******* I can still smell the Eucalyptus � Part Three "Where is that sister of yours? She's a slippery one that one. Goes to the forest and she becomes a tree; goes to collect honey from the hives and becomes a bee; goes to her room to clean it and becomes another speck of dust for me!" Lily looked up from her books. "I don't know Bubba. But I feel she is with Patch." "Patch came back?" ''No, Bubba.'' "Lily! When you say less than three words in a sentence, I know there is a Trilogy brewing! Go find your sister � the supper can't wait for her, or that old nag, nor for this old nag neither, with so much to do! Go get your sister, the one who picks locks on bedroom windows, and becomes the wind..." Lily smiled. Her books could wait for the quiet of the night. She tiptoed in from the veranda, put on her hat, went into the kitchen, kissed her Grandmother on her lavender cheek and was shooed away by a smile and her flowery hands, busy dipping the meat in egg for the schnitzel supper. Lily put on her leather, turned right down the silvery ribbon road towards the barn on the corner. She knew where they would be - playing bare arsed on 'The Beach', a sandy bank of crushed calcium shells by the mouth of The Big River, deep in the heart of the wood, but it would take her far too much time to get there and back on foot. She crossed the road, picked a sprig of dandelion, clover, and holly from the path, flicked the gate, lifted the lock on the barn door, kick started her favourite skinny bike 'Dizzy', who purred like a dream, took her down into the wood, and to the river. And sure enough, there they were, her sister laying down on the sand and Patch, drinking from the gentle shoreline. "Lily! Lily! I found Patch. Patch, it's Lily you great trumpet! How does an old nag drink quite so much! I'm starving! What's the news?" "No news", said Lily. ***** Part 4 Demon in the Teapot - Sing once, Pray twice. Lift the lid Jump inside We're going down The deep dark mine. Sing once, pray twice, Smoke the amber leaf: Take a deep blue pencil And pass the peace. See the shaft Don't despair, We're going down, And it's dark down there. We're going down Stoke the fire You have the handle I'm on the pyre. Approach the teapot Don't be scared Kolbald demons Will be snared! Pray twice - Get your coat I've got the spout To take them by the throat. Lift the lid Jump inside We're going down The deep dark mine. Sing once, pray twice, Smoke the amber leaf, Take a deep blue pencil, And pass the peace. ***** Lily looked at her sister, face like a moon, the weight had fallen off her again and dizzy she was. "I brought you a sandwich from the kitchen." she said, and her sister grabbed it, stuffed it in her little face and went down to the gentle shoreline to give some of the lettuce to Patch. "You're welcome!" she said. It was time to let her rest a while; so she sat down, took out her endless pencil, 'Stubby', and made some notes on the calcium shell bank of The Beach. ***** Kobald demons of the cerulean mines explode and make trouble for miners like me. Down we go - into the mine. We walk through the clammy corridors to the entrance; the beeswax candle lantern makes the walls of the mine charcoal slate, so it sparkles, and sparkles, with silence. All is quiet except for the drip, drip, drip of melting stalactites, sheer sheet-drops of ice frame the passageway, and in the melt, tears hammer two tiny groves for the purest water conductor any candle lantern is likely to see, and step by step, drop by drop, you point to the gem filled walls: Emeralds, the eyes of cats glinting; honest Agates, tinting the walls mosaic; Rose Quarts, hearts as pink as a warm hand; Turquoise, reflecting in the water droplets, making them a clear aquamarine; and eyes down, for Gold. "Watch the gold..." I whisper. Thread lines cut through the crystal bed formed one on top of the other, river lines of time stacked against us, in dead straight lines heading deep into the heart of the mine. "Follow the Gold", I say. "I miss the trees already" you say. I take your hand and lead you round the narrow shelf of sofa rock where pearls formed years before. You know this path is the most precarious, this is the worst part of it, knowing where we are going, but I said this time it would be Fine. If we both stick to our sticking posts, one behind in front of the other, and foil the Kolbalt demons of the cerulean mine, it would be quick; as we were heading fast into one of the deepest magical chambers of the cliff. *** "So, did you write a poem?" Lily scowled at her sister. Of course she had. Born the year of revolutions made poetry skeletons leap out of the long lost poetry cupboard like bats out of hell, pouring like white sand onto horizontal surfaces; or handed out to strangers, lost along the road; or kept in banks, prayers shot down like deer - of course she had written a poem, just as her sister had got skinny by the river looking after Patch. But now, it was just a case of remembering the Phoenix valley, and all other poems could wait, except this one. *** Blue-Pencil Kobold demons of the ailing mind hide cerulean gems in musty tunnels and roomy chambers. Synapse misfire and dynamited dreams turn soft silvery blue pencil pathways to chalk. You are 'going mad'. I take your hand. Sapphire bombshells ashen your face. Zombie cobalt statues creak and come alive, rise as spectra silhouettes to dance again on your iris. As they decorate the wall and shriek like the corridor, you say, I need a break: I am about to paint the windows, the blueprint, my mirror, your teapot... So we agree to call it a day. You go and I pick up the blue-pencil and edit your contribution back to something bland, ashen; (By the way- I know there is a demon in the teapot so I am still careful to leave the lid on it) *** You look up. The parallel rivers more than rivulets now; streams had formed and move as if after the fast, to splash the path with hungry droplets; mouths open for an ankle, hoping for the turn of a calf, or the point of a toe, wishing for the slippery sole too busy looking up, at the beautiful gem encrusted walls. 'Ruby's Place' was coming up. "Eyes down on the Gold" I say. "We are going back in time - follow the lowest thread line, and don't look up at Ruby's face." Ruby's place is the most incredible treasure at a point where paths open into a chamber of two overlapping circular riverbed plates, each circumference touching the central point of the other, interlocking but never static, each revolving in a waltzer ride on it's own axis spin, so, very dangerous to pass over it in the melt. Their slippery surface grinds water into oil, and oil into fire, consuming all who have dared pass in the melt, looking up in wonder at the flowering Ruby beds eating into the ceiling of the cave. Through the middle-way of the oval that the circles create, we follow the slit of Amethyst bedding that gives grip to the feet and shines like a thousand mountains. This Path is so beautiful, that tears of joy fall easily onto the amethyst peaks underfoot, and electrical currents sweep up into passing hearts. Head down at Ruby's in the flood and the rest of the journey, to one of the central magical caverns, is easy to reach, but still so difficult to arrive. *** "What you doing, Lily?" "Writing it", she said. "What's the point of that Lily?" "You know." Lily replied. "But it is done, Lily! Buried" she said. "The map isn't" "You and your maps! We give maps out for free! Why do you want this? I don't like it. You're wanting something, Lily - and Bubba gives us everything we need! Hmm...You after beans, Miss Dizzy?" "Shuttit, Skinny!" said Lily. "A disguised two word sentence! You got Trilogy brewing, Missy? My guts are fine sister; Patch is well too; yesterday the doctor said the disease is all gone, and all that's left is blister. You know the central cavern I saw was filled with every war and disease there has ever been; dark lanterns made from itching human skin, our skin; the bones from ancient tribes rising up angry, sick without Hope � and all the rest of every nightmare ever been, dancing the walls of the cave. Don't be cross! I can't help but see it, but I brought you back something, something they were giving out after the flood, at Ruby�s place..." "What's that, sis?" "A Golden Egg. Happy Spring, sister" "Thanks", said Lily. end. ***** "Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are." St Augustine (quoted in William Sloane Coffin, The Heart Is a Little to the Left)
Archived comments for I can still smell the Eucalyptus (story poem)
flossieBee on 22-05-2007
I can still smell the Eucalyptus (story poem)
This needs much more time to read and absorb than I am giving it now in my lunch hour, but I'm already loving the mix of styles, viewpoints, strands of imagery. More later.
fB x

Author's Reply:
Hi fB - more would be very interesting on this one -an objective more, please perlease tell me later - i'm in Ally Pally from tomorrow, you around? xxnx



littleditty on 22-05-2007
I can still smell the Eucalyptus (story poem)
Hi fB - more would be very interesting on this one -an objective more, please perlease tell me later - i'm in Ally Pally from tomorrow, you around? xxnx

Author's Reply:

flossieBee on 23-05-2007
I can still smell the Eucalyptus (story poem)
I'm reading again. I think the best thing I can do is give you back the images and themes that stick with me. The story of the injured horse she tends by the river; She has cartwheeled on to the horse. the golden egg that they share in the past, but the demon's in the teapot. There's always a demon in the teapot, but the lid isn't always on. Now it's about mining the past and the present and pencilling; adjustments of ways of being; appreciation and new understanding. Maybe anger is courage.

The mix of styles is effective. The circularity unifies it.

Will be back again to say more.

I will be in and around N London from Sunday to early Tuesday.....you still there. Fancy a walk along the the old railway line?

xx



Author's Reply:
Thanks! funny you should mention that -i was going to - you seen this one? yes - lets :O) xxx


to the warm charcoals of the soil

1
Was a hurricane here, or a war,
leaving gaping craters where trees once
lined the avenues? Walls are built to fall,
but these roots were ‘ripped untimely’
from a womb of soil: Gone;
our Earth invaded, our friends snatched.
Now the Earth is the Moon,
the Moon is Venus hit,
Venus is Mars with all the fire of men.

2
I walk our woodland route, under
the tarmac, and tread abandoned tracks.
Silent freight lines are lost to nature’s bed
and gaping craters are fresh filled graves
covered by nature’s year - and yet, hydrangeas.
Even now, hydrangeas flower:
blue ultraviolet and pink infrared,
their litmus paper petals first white,
then acid or alkaline,
falling with the earth’s colours,
to the warm charcoals of the soil.





Clima and Salt (posted on: 14-05-07)
2 poems - Salt wasn't clear - i've edited a bit and added notes! :o)

* Clima Clima's cloak wrapped Around your mountains Sahara sand visits each peak Hiding islands out to sea Yellow sky makes a harvest moon From the sun disc Lost So lost in fog Sandy air clogs the throat Wets the eyes Longing for a storm A lighthouse A breeze to lift this clammy coat From burnt skin No senses left Except the taste of salt The desire for movement Breaking waves The pull of tide To meet the shoreline Stumbling through the rocks Broken shells Blistered feet Wet Sand Weed Walking naked into the Hands of the sea Salt I replace hydrogen and all my acid With metal - electropositive - Because I am radical, a rebel And salt of the earth, Lending flavour with a lively wit When my zest is a sailor in a cellar, Up to my neck in water and wine, mixed. Aging something valuable Needs no salt, no deception, and no mine. Gems I salt away will not dissolve with time. They are yours to keep when tears evaporate As I boil in a pan of beach. A crystal crystalline can send my love When salt lines drying in the sun Are no longer mine to taste, As dry maps of sea on the body Corundum, while thirsting an absent tongue. Salt of the earth, she. Salting the earth, not me. *A Clima is when sand is blown across from the Saraha to here in Tenerife* *Salt - i have been told this is not clear at all - i will edit - but for now: Salt - Chemical compound formed when the hydrogen of an acid is replaced by a metal or its equivalent, such as ammonium (NH4). salt away (gems) - keep/store (good things) salt was/is used to make fake artifacts and fake gems appear old and more valuable salt lines - idea of map of land/body salt of the earth - honest, good folk! salting the earth - done as an act of revenge to land, usually after war, making it impossible to grow crops. may be no help at all! lol :o)
Archived comments for Clima and Salt
Sunken on 14-05-2007
Clima and Salt
Lol. Ditty. You are always doing last minute edits. Your avatar/pic really suits you. Don't go changing Ms. Ditty. I especially liked the salt one. You are too good at this poetry and no mistake. Please crap it up a bit (-; Nice one Dittster.

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posting the canary was the last straw

Author's Reply:
Sunk -i'll be quick because i'm a little in a big rush - thanks for stopping by, but today is not the day for canary jokes -canaries should be avoided really...anyway - at present i am living in rented accomodation, which means i can't chuck paint at the walls, as it would be upsetting for the lovely landlady - so, poem replaces this art activity for now. This one Salt - i thought was quite clear on the page - but a little birdie told me that i was mixing it up all wrong as usual -and how were other people supposed to know what i am on about in my own little world...Milo from the other poem is quite similar -bless - thanks sunken, of course i am crapping it up, i really am! 🙁 lol 😀 itz xxx

Ionicus on 14-05-2007
Clima and Salt
Two very descriptive poems which could have been posted separately. You could have earned two lots of kudos.
I like the second one better, 'Salt'.
I read the original version and did not think it required any explanation.
I wouldn't worry what little birdies say. As long as you are happy with your work that's all it matters.
Very often readers put their own interpretation on poems which might not coincide with the author's intent.
All the best,
Luigi xx

Author's Reply:
Dear Luigi - i well miffed -i wrote you a luvly reply and either it's my internet connection or the Wolf ate it, i am upset! It said lots of stuff about how i do what i need to do, re poems, and totally agree with you about readers own interpretation - i am happy enough spitting them out and seeing them make their own way in the world - but little birdies - well, i do worry about little birdies, and, as happy is just a fleeting feeling, and little birdies aren't, i do listen and try and learn, because i am a bit thick sometimes, and don't see the wood for the trees. Glad you liked them - the first one wrote itself in 20 seconds, Salt took a little longer - they go together and we are only allowed to post 2 at a time aren't we? Wanted to put 'Milo and his Yellow Digger' up today too - Cheers Luigi - thanks for your thoughts, appreciated very much xxx

Jolen on 18-05-2007
Clima and Salt
I absolutely loved your putting yourself into salt. Clever work all the way through, and the Clima one makes me feel as if I have been there and lived it. So, as usual, your work is wonderfully full.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen :o) thanks pal -the images seem to work fine in that speedy Clima one - after my dip in the sea i needed a bit of a rest on the sunny beach - unfortunately Tenerife has been all cloudy and windy, so i think a night time meander is in order - i haven't written anything for one and a half days 😮 - do you think i need a doctor? lol 😀 hope you are fine Jolen, Nicky xxx

discopants on 20-05-2007
Clima and Salt
I read these the other day and remember thinking that I preferred 'Salt'. I have come back to them now to comment (it sometimes takes me a while to get around to the commenting bit) and have decided that I prefer 'Clima'.

Maybe I'll have to come back and read again in another couple of days

a confused disco



Author's Reply:
Dear Disco :o) Thank you! You twirling? I must to confess to being confused too - i have just woken up and i am not sure what the time is -i think it is Sunday, right? I've checked the clock in the square downstairs and it says 8.30 pm - Goodness me, it's sunset, not dawn! - well - i am gald you liked these two ditties, that's cheered me up - thanks for telling me xxxditty x


Milo's Yellow Digger (posted on: 14-05-07)
Cornwall, a friend's son Milo - Venus de Milo - Milo of Croton - trying to edit at the mo...

* Milo's Yellow Digger Milo said, "Why's that phone got legs?" A TV advert and we discussed it at great length. A perfectly reasonable question as we wandered to the beach. We fixed our patch, one towel each, in eyeshot of family groups encamped behind boozy windbreakers. Boys and girls took buckets and spades out into no-mans-land, Empire building. Construction. Pride on little faces, as one decided on a moat, one on the delightful anticipation of a big wave, and each hoped for some fairness in destruction. None were waiting on a clumsy foot, none wanted a war to break out in the first place. Accidents happen. The heat; a toddler, an older brother, an argumentative sister - a slip, a kick, a stick, a disaster. Always at the moment one wants to control the other. You sat and watched your efforts plundered, razed to the ground. Mothers fussing, fathers biting lip, itchy trigger-finger disputes, and you didn't budge an inch. "What happened?" I said to your little face, wanting to jump up and down, on all the other towns around. "Earthquake. Need a Yellow Digger..." and you pulled one out of your bag, began "Vacuation Operations..." sent in the "Ann-balances, neee-naw, Roger- Foxtrot-Dandy. All Communication's Dead. Look!" you said, pointing to a handy crab you'd found, "I got the phone with legs, to run along ahead..." "May I help you, Milo?" and I took your hand. "You make the moat. I'll make the bridge. Yes?" You gave me a spade, I made a start, and my tears fell to the sand.
Archived comments for Milo's Yellow Digger
e-griff on 14-05-2007
Milos Yellow Digger
lovely unexpected poem, excellent. made my morning. 🙂

(ps: it's 'razed to the ground')

Author's Reply:
thanks griffy - unexpected luvly comment, made my morning too :o) glad you enjoyed


(ps thanks - razed, wanted it to be raised too, but the sound is good enough - cheers -editing lots at the mo - xxxdizzy x)

Sunken on 14-05-2007
Milos Yellow Digger
Dear Little Ms. Ditty of Dittsville on the sea, your poem has gone and made me all broody and no mistake. I hold you completely responsible. I will expect some kind of maintenance should I get some poor unfortunate lady in the club... Not much chance of that though Ms. Dittster, so you should be okay (-; A top little piece indeed. I suppose you'll be expecting chocolate at this stage? This week I am mainly eating kit kat. They have a plain variety in the shops that is doing extremely well. I hope this helps. Thanks.

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burying the budgie was the last thing on his mind

Author's Reply:
Oh dear –I had a Uri about the budgie, his advice - you should stay away from kit-kats until well after the half moon - and suggested a strict diet of Lion Bars, Maltesers, and Walkers, cheese and onion flavour. Not sure i trust that Uri fella tho - i think you should go disco! take care Sunk 🙂 xxldx

Ionicus on 14-05-2007
Milos Yellow Digger
Lovely little gem. Stop editing. Perfect as it is.

Love, Luigi xx

Author's Reply:
Hi lovely Luigi - i write so fast sometimes that i am sure they all need editing! and it's good to come back to them eventually and look and fiddle a bit - and see your comment here to tell me not to! Thanks - glad you thought it's a gem -that's super! :o) xxxditty x

Macjoyce on 14-05-2007
Milos Yellow Digger
Ha ha ha

Should I laugh or not? It's just I've never seen a crab as a phone with legs before. But now, I always will.

Very lively poem. Spesh like "a slip, a kick, a stick, a disaster."

Mac

Venus de Milo's waiting, and talking in Welsh



Author's Reply:
Mac -we should always laugh, often, it's the chemicals - they are good for the the brain -i believe that if there was an international one minute laughathon after the traditional one minute silences, then the whole globe would sparkle - i have put my suggestions in writing to such persons as could arrange such an event, but they frown and think i'm nuts with my silly notions. The poem is lively? I like how kids are lively, Milo is a tough cookie, the questioning and inquisitiveness that many adults lose is all the liveliness of kids. There are many types of crabs - the types of hermit crab are amazing - i am totally into crabs! And of course the conch - check them out - ah! the poetry of crustaceans! India, you will see some i imagine - here have a look

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conch
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermit_crab

Cheers Mac
Macfanweeditty xx

Romany on 17-05-2007
Milos Yellow Digger
This is something a little bit out of the ordinary and a little bit special. The analogy you draw, the childish speech, the environment you were in, all vividly and honestly alive, and the ending deeply touching and real. That's what I love most about this poem - it's authenticity. What a beautiful piece - you should be most proud.

Romany.

P.S I love 'Boozy windbreakers' - inspired.

Author's Reply:
HI Romany - what a lovely comment - thank you - i will read it again and see if i feel proud! I am really happy you enjoyed it and thanks so much for telling me how you felt about it, because it is very tricky for me to know what i think about my ditties - and always have little idea how they will be read - i value your opinion lots, cheers :o) xxxldx


Canvas (posted on: 07-05-07)
http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Auteur+theory ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Canvas The canvas was visionary; it had no signature and was painted before Politeness. A picture, not quite pretty enough, leaving the unimaginative cold, at a glance uncomfortable, a feeling there was nothing really there; moving on, preferring a subject full of likely explanations, marked in bold, hanging on the wall, something dramatic, perhaps with talons, motif after symbol after sign constructing episodes like stepping stones, going somewhere and never to arrive
Archived comments for Canvas
Sunken on 07-05-2007
Sorry! Poem up-loaded by mistake!
What the...? Dear little Ms. Ditty, you must stop subbing at 4am. This is exactly the kind of thing that such shenanigans can lead to. I refuse to rate at this stage (-;

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she, she, she shine on

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken, the Management would like to apologise for today’s empty space and shifts the burden of responsibility onto the The Department of Health and Safety report, #4 – the salient points being: a dodgy internet connection, no printer ink, a fire hazard caused by an old bad habit of storing props in the stock room because of computer failures and homelessness, and, also Amy Winehouse – thank you for your patience.
*Pffs*

:o)

delph_ambi on 08-05-2007
Canvas
Excellent poem. Wouldn't change a word. I love: 'painted before Politeness'.

Author's Reply:
Hi delph - very glad you think so :o) - read yours yesterday and could only manage a 😮 or at best
a couple of :Oo - and had to take them away to be read again! Thanks for your comment, i didn't think this would be liked at all - cheers, xxldx

Sunken on 08-05-2007
Canvas
Oh bum. Delph picked my fave line out. I'm not just copying her, honest I'm not. Well done on finally subbing in the correct fashion. I find it hard to believe that such a little Ditty could ever become homeless. I have a spare drawer (between my socks and pants drawers) going if you are desperate. Said apparel are, of course, freshly laundered. I hope this helps. Thanks for the moon landing (-:

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a shell by any other name

Author's Reply:
Sunk - you said 'bum'.....*sniggers* - thanks for the offer of your drawer, that's very kind of you, i have a whole room with a view these days - it's wonderful and i'm really happy and lucky - hope you are having a good day Sunken of Pants and Socks - fuck! a hawk just flew past the balcony! wow! how cool! There's a huge eagle circling the mountains too! Sunken! Life is magical! Hope you are really well :o) xxxlittleditty x

juliet on 08-05-2007
Canvas
Dear LD, i had to go and read Auteur theory first and then the light went on. I think this is so interesting and beautifully conveyed. It applies to poetry to and i guess any writing where the goal is not so much to tell a story in a straightforward fashion, but to reveal personal glimpses of our desires and obsessions.

But for me, i think a piece of art works when it speaks on all levels, to the layperson (it invokes emotion be that positive or negative), to the expert/critic (they can see the creators personal story/ history of the art form etc) and for the creator.

And this poem does. I am just starting to really study poetry and it is fascinating and very different from studying prose. I have to remember that the sounds, rythmns and emotions of the piece are equally important as the words, sometimes more so.

Juliet xx

Author's Reply:
Comment rated 10

Dear Juliet - thank you for having a think about this one - i think you write prose like a poet, and i agree so much with what you said about art - it is something i think about, the universal aspect, and that a piece of mine can be read with the kids that i teach - scratch that, taught, - or by anyone else, and they find something there for them. This is of course not always so, i write what i need to - and if i kept up on my filing they mostly go in the folders marked: blah, blah blah blah, seconds, starts, incriminating evidence, plain libelous,too rude for school, too funny for words, etc etc - but at least i'm keeping them these days - i am very shy with my prose - trying to be less so - 'I have to remember that the sounds, rhythms and emotions of the piece are equally important as the words, sometimes more so.' - tis the same for prose, no? Thanks for stopping by on this ditty - much appreciated -cheers to you, Nicky xx oh - try reading some Billy Collins, i have been nudged to read him again at the mo - he is very clever at this business of simplicity, honesty, universal appeal, and not hiding what he wants to reveal to the reader - he leads the reader straight there i think :o) xxldx

Sunken on 08-05-2007
Canvas
Ditty - you said 'Fuck'.....*sniggers* - thanks (-;

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where did i put my helicopter?

Author's Reply:
glad you liked my quip re 'Politeness' - i don't know where your helicopter is - i :o) love a couple of women who don't know where their helicopters are either - is it something to do with the time of year - this missing helicopter thing? I'm taking a plane to London in a couple of weeks tho - do you fancy meeting Mac and may be Swollen for a drink at the end of May? It would be fun if we could all meet up for a natter? xxxlittleditty x

flossieBee on 09-05-2007
Canvas
Hello!

I really like this too...especially
A picture,
not quite pretty enough,
leaving the unimaginative cold,
at a glance uncomfortable,
a feeling there was nothing
really there; moving on

says masses.

xxfB

Author's Reply:
"says masses." What? You converted?? LOL - Hello! yeah - does, dunnit - what's it say? what's it say?*wiggles plastic glasses, eyebrows, big nose* 😀 - thanks pal - see you soon xxx:o)

SugarMama34 on 12-05-2007
Canvas
Hi littleditty,

I found your poem very interesting. I also liked your word choices too. You bring out the emotions, feelings and thoughts on what we think about a piece of art. It comes across really well. The imagery was great. I felt as if I were looking at the canvas myself. An intriguingly penned piece.
Sugar.xx

Author's Reply:
Comment rated 10

Hi Sugar - that is it exactly -and i am trying to find my way - thank you for your comment, i think i like poetry again today! Cheers :o) xxldx

Jolen on 12-05-2007
Canvas
As always, LD. You give us a piece we can sink our teeth into and then try to determine the true 'flavor' .. I enjoyed this and the line 'painted before politeness' is gold!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Dear Jolen - 'determining the true flavour' - is sometimes so many poems in a day! i am very peaceful today though, and have cooked up some delicious feasts for my hungry belly - homeopathic quantities of fresh chilli, garlic, herbs and all those healthy things - i feel a food poem coming on! Hope you are super well and happy Ms Jolen of Leeds, thanks for stopping by, cheers to you xxxditty x:o)

jay12 on 13-05-2007
Canvas
This is a nice. Thought provoking. Interesting. And easier to understand once I went to the link you offered at the start. A very, very interesting read indeed.

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Hi Jay - glad you got something from it, thanks for telling me :o) Cheers xxxldx

deepoceanfish2 on 03-07-2007
Canvas
littleditty,

Glad to have found this excellent piece whilst skimming the archives. Loved this:
A picture,
not quite pretty enough,
leaving the unimaginative cold,
at a glance uncomfortable,
a feeling there was nothing
really there; moving on,
preferring a subject
full of likely explanations,
marked in bold,...'

Succinct, richly stated, punchy. A fine piece.

Regards,

Adele
'...

Author's Reply:
Hi Adele - glad you liked it - thanks for telling me :o) xxldx

deepoceanfish2 on 03-07-2007
Canvas
littleditty,

Glad to have found this excellent piece whilst skimming the archives. Loved this:
A picture,
not quite pretty enough,
leaving the unimaginative cold,
at a glance uncomfortable,
a feeling there was nothing
really there; moving on,
preferring a subject
full of likely explanations,
marked in bold,...'

Succinct, richly stated, punchy. A fine piece.

Regards,

Adele
'...

Author's Reply:

deepoceanfish2 on 03-07-2007
Canvas
littleditty,

Glad to have found this excellent piece whilst skimming the archives. Loved this:
A picture,
not quite pretty enough,
leaving the unimaginative cold,
at a glance uncomfortable,
a feeling there was nothing
really there; moving on,
preferring a subject
full of likely explanations,
marked in bold,...'

Succinct, richly stated, punchy. A fine piece.

Regards,

Adele
'...

Author's Reply:


Hope won't mind (posted on: 04-05-07)
poem to edit *

Hope wont Mind Hope wont mind if she rests a little, she wont mind, will she, if we Jazz fingertips skimming along the cleft of a taffeta dress, if we ease slightly this way, a little to the right, a little to the left, down the slow drink of notes to the quick step chorus line, drumming up the steady bass piping syncopated tiptoes to the drink me in skies, where she is, skirt hitched above her knees, stroking her weary feet, looking down on her pedicure bed from the starry, starry night. Hope won't mindwill she? If we take her daughters pour wine to their puckered lips, soften their robes, smooth the gathered taffeta pleats at the meeting of their hips, and watch them dance Jazz notes, a little this way, a little sway that way, Hope won't mind, will she, as she raises her eyes to the heavens, to the left, to the right Hope sighs, hums; switches on the TV for News at Midnight, and for dessert, her favourite Soap.
Archived comments for Hope won't mind
Sunken on 04-05-2007
Hope wont mind
(-: Bloody brilliant Ms. Ditty. I wouldn't edit a thang, but I'm only a sunk so feel free to ignore me. Well done on the nib Dittster. I hear you a supermarket downstairs? May I suggest you treat yourself to a Cadbury's Caramel. A really strong sub Ms. Ditty. Thanks.

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she sells timeshares on the seashore

Author's Reply:
Comment rated 10

( here's a seashell for you ----> i'll put a pic up as i am technological - i got it in India on the Green - thanks Sunken of Suggestions - you are lovely xxditz x)

Sunken on 04-05-2007
Hope wont mind
Dear Ms. Ditty, are you sure you're technological? I would love to the shell from India on the green and shall pop back later to see if you managed to attach said pic. I seem to have omitted the word 'have' in my original comment and am therefore now offering you two for the price of one - Have, have. I hope that helps. Take Ms. Ditty (-:

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her hair took advantage of the sun

Author's Reply:
No! Tis true -I'm not very technological - in fact - i'm hopeless, hope wont mind tho... but- i now have to choose another pic, now that you have been sho shilly - *Pfs* the shell that was on offer is now no longer appropriate, sho i shall she what i should shend. An ashortment of shells i think....Good day. *pfs*

Sunken on 04-05-2007
Hope wont mind
Oh balls - I've now accidentally omitted the word 'see' from the previous comment. I'm not use to being on at this time in the day, that's my excuse. I also accidentally rated you again. Sorry. I'll go now before I cause more disruption.

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stealing glances from a fatally flawed goddess

Author's Reply:
You omitted a d from this one -but lets not quibble - you've rated twice and i've been shellfish, shorry, hope you like the shells on ditty's page, thanks Shunken, love to Rudi xxldx

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ditto!

discopants on 04-05-2007
Hope wont mind
I agree with Sunks- no editing required. This sways along beautifully (did you see what I did there?) and I particularly like the 'fingerprints skimming along the cleft/of a taffeta dress'. Brings all sorts of thoughts to mind. Nice one.

disco

Author's Reply:
Hi disco - thanks -that is reassuring -i put it here to focus on an edit - i am swimming in poems and prose at present and so i appreciate you having a little look -cheers, when i come back this way i do think it needs a little bit of a fiddle with punctuation and a couple of line breaks - thanks disco xxditz x

Jolen on 04-05-2007
Hope wont mind
I agree, the rhythm is delightful and your evocative wording is just as smooth as the fingertips skimming. Beautiful work, Nicky!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen - aw, thanks - i know nothing so thanks for telling me - bit of a smoothy, can't help it - it's in my genes! Apparently there is a beautiful gypsy violinist playing downstairs at the restaurant tonight, Tenerife - i hope so, that music makes my roots dance - hope all is going well for you in Europe on the Green - when are you posting again? Nicky x

Sunken on 05-05-2007
Hope wont mind
Dear Ms. Ditty, I just wanted to thank you for being technological. Without visionaries like yourself man would never have landed on the moon. Your seashell picture is a wonder to behold and no mistake. I also wanted to prove to myself that I could comment in the early hours of the day without making a smelling mistake. I set my alarm for 4am especially. Thank you Ms. Ditty. Have a nice Sunday.

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under a chicken madras sky

Author's Reply:
ROLF!!! Rollin On the Laughing Floor!! - bless you munky, for always making me smile and laugh - i am awake at this early hour because i set my alms too - we need be vigilant with our spellings sunk - happy Beltane to you and Rudi - of the Spring and summer kind, so no toilet humour anywhere in sight, have a nice sunday you too xxxditty of little x

Jolen on 06-05-2007
Hope wont mind
Hi Nicky,
I will have a song and a poem posted tomorrow, and thank you for asking. I am well, did you get my last email? I am curious, will you still be coming to England in Augest? If so, we should swap lies over a pint, let me know...

I sure hope you are well. Talk to you soon.

Jolen

Author's Reply:
Jolen - May/June - didnt i reply? i'll go ------> swiftly :o)


Petanque - Boom Boom Betty and Pot Shot Pointer (posted on: 20-04-07)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%A9tanque boom-boom-boom - a write about the last days - - - now, topical, it's Friday, and I'm off to the Petanque courts this afternoon here in Tenerife. When i first arrived, they showed me how to play, seemed i had the knack, signed me up to play in their team for a friendly competition with the neighbours, and it all turned out well - i won a bottle of champaigne and a watch - how cool is that? :o) - have a good day everyone at uka - all editing suggestions welcome, as per...littleditty x

Petanque Boom Boom Betty, 88; stops the game, Raises one wet finger, still; checks the wind, Tips her hat, grins; swings her string and picks up her hot golden ball on a dangling silver magnet; walks, limps a bit, reins in the distance down the court, steps into the loop, crouches, aims, and Boom!!! Boom Boom Betty fires her Shot: ''Tirez!'' cheers the crowd, busy, ''Bravo Betty!'' the spectators sport As a galaxy of balls circling the Jack, Split, knocking the little wooden Cochinnet Into the pit. Snags a shell, hopscotches The scorched path, yells, plops over The cliff, and hits the shock of ice-cold sea. ''What a shot!'' says the Cochinnet, stunned, ''What a blast'' says the Crowd; all sound, ''What a shooter'' frowns the Cochinnet; Winks, drinks tea in the underwater gallery, Drowns. Takes a deep breath, rebounds, Impasse: The Game On the Ground. All still, last shot, Pot Shot Pointer goes for The roll; stands, tennis before the serve, In a circle chalked; the boardwalks hush. 12 All - match point stuff poised All Surveyed, the game played, Pot Shot stands, Quiet and dazed; eyes trance, last chance, To the left or to the right? Avoid the bounce, Trip the hum of the restless crowd; Quiet Now. Head bowed. No sound. Prays. The middle way. Hush; come to my arms ''Two cheese and pickle and a cup of tea, Please,'' Pot Shot Pointer gets the roll, tea Hot, hears the news, hears the shots. Loud. The Crowd Falls. And from the Speaker: ''Pick up your belongings from the Lost and Found.'' Impasse: The Game on the Ground.
Archived comments for Petanque - Boom Boom Betty and Pot Shot Pointer
Sunken on 20-04-2007
Petanque - Boom Boom Betty and Pot Shot Pointer
Lol, what's on offer today Ms. Ditty? I need a new pair of doc martens to be honest. Any chance? Betty sounds like my kinda woman. I do like a lady who's good with balls. Ahem. sorry. I'll go. Have a good time Dittster and good luck.

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no tag month, not your fault

Author's Reply:
Thanks munk - i'll look out for the Doc's, i have a purple pair -stick that on your graph if you like - cheers, xxldx

Sunken on 20-04-2007
Petanque - Boom Boom Betty and Pot Shot Pointer
Lol. That sounds like a bloody good idea. I might just do that! Good day!

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where did all the tags go

Author's Reply:
Cool. Because Monday I 'm in the biggest flip flops ever known in Ditzville! I don't know where they go sunken, they say Tagsville on the Green, but as of yet, nobody knows - toodle pip ol' bean xxldx

orangedream on 21-04-2007
Petanque - Boom Boom Betty and Pot Shot Pointer
I don't know how I missed this one. Fantastic - which is more than I can say for my game of Petanque. I was there with you ld,never could quite avoid the bounce. Hopeless with balls - that's me. ;-(

Lady Orange;-)

Author's Reply:
Dear Lady Orange, have you seen those folk who sit on roller-coasters eating burger and chips? I don't get that at all, i mean how can one really fully appreciate the delights of a roller-coaster ride AND burger and chips at the same time? There is no avoiding the bounce, but when they make Petanque cartoon runways it's a scream, and can be a lot of fun too. Personally i like the morning after, always wake up ravenous! Loved your story, helped me with little poem 'faith' in my diary, and your poem - i was right there with you too - it's why I'm in Tenerife -take good care of the orange in the Lady, won't you? - thank you! from xxditty x

orangedream on 22-04-2007
Petanque - Boom Boom Betty and Pot Shot Pointer
Yes, I have seen them, and no ... I don't get it either. HOW DO THEY DO THAT!!

Trust little poem 'faith' in your diary is alive and thriving.

Take care yourself, ld ... good care.

Lady Orange xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi there - :o) - Faith is fine, and care is too - i had a look and all is well in Dittyville - time for fun after some hard work i reckon, hope all is well in the Orange household - thanks Tina xxnx


On Rejection (posted on: 20-04-07)
Rejection of the Self

On Rejection Rejection of the self was fucking moons Born to shine and wave light through Revolving doors, through poetry, education, The attempt at Loving 'right'; working hard To make it so, 38 years of labour on the land And the cost: moons, pearls, gems, and globes; Resting the globe in the hand of another; Lost, Lost, to a fragmented self. The pieces are images That should remain silent here, but when shared On couches, in bedrooms, given out only with a Hard won trust, in a private space, in the right Place, and then, soon walks forward the soul. Restoration Projects, in a Renaissance of the Whole. (poem dedicated)
Archived comments for On Rejection
Sunken on 20-04-2007
On Rejection
Hello Ms. Ditty. I have read your poem three times now, and every time I get something different from it. I have therefore come to the conclusion that I am either very tired or you are very clever, and being as I just had a good solid eleven hours sleep, I think the latter is true. I don't usually sleep that much by the way. I blame a horlicks overdose. Nice one Ditty.

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no tag

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - it is good that you got something each time from this poem - but you have made me see that i
will may be need to rewrite this one in different ways - it was a long night Sunk - i need eleven hours sleep but i have only time for a few as.....see other sub......i have arranged to go a play with silver balls. Why? Search me...i'm clean officer....2.5 months with hardly any chocolate too - i've been stashing your confectionary offerings for a rainy day, hope you don't mind, it's just that i wanted to have a party one day and they'd look so nice on the table....Congratulations on the continuing 'no tag' thingy - at first i thought this slightly mean, but i am a ditty of little and know nothing - a bit better now, thanks petal, xxxDitty x

Sunken on 20-04-2007
On Rejection
Dear Ms. Dotty of Ditty, I think it's a good thing that your poem reads differently with each read. I meant it as a compliment. I'm not good at giving compliments Ms. Ditty, especially to girls. They always suspect I'm after something (-; They do, honest. I'm not tho. And I see what you mean about 'no tag'. It's a global no tag, and doesn't mean that your poem isn't worthy of one. Ahem. Do you ever have one of those days where everything you say comes out wrong. I should go back to not getting enough sleep I reckon (-: Good luck with your balls. Oh shit, I've done it again. Thanks petal.

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no tag (blame the council)

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken of Turnip - i did take it as a good thing, thank you for the compliment - you are brilliant at giving compliments, especially to Ditty of Little who knows you just have a confectionary fetish - or perhaps that was last season? Because apart from a horlick's reference i dont see a choco bar in sight...that;s ok, as is the global no tag thingy - i think the no tag thingy is brilliant Sunk -and i realise i didnt make myself very clear on this part ic u lar point. I borrowed a 'bar code' joke from you last sub i think - it has gone in the wash Sunk and quite frankly i am glad you no longer have use for it... Just a Twix and a Bounty to the council - they are rich indeed...my balls are just fine Sunk - Ditty of Golden Balls they call me on the courts down there- must get to the courts soon - the old folks will be waiting and i need two hours sleep before i start rolling :o) Cheers Munky - Ditz xxx

orangedream on 20-04-2007
On Rejection
I'm with sunken here - means something completely different, every time I read it. A bit like a kaleidoscope - know what I mean? Only that's to do with shaking I guess, not reading. Ah well - it's late on a Friday night - what the heck. I shall pass on the Golden Balls and indeed choco bars - except to say, enjoyed. Each and every time.

Lady Orange

Author's Reply:
Hi Lady Orangebloom - my internet connection has been most shakey today, haven't been able to get on line
much at all, instead i have been adding to my diary and cleaning the worksurfaces....do you find this poem kaleidoscopey? i really ought to read it again, what did i say?! Its a bit of a hard fought for one, this one - i'm glad you enjoyed though, thanks for telling me - hope Saturday has been good to you, i'm going to skip quickly to yours while the connection is working xxxlittleditty x


The Spring (posted on: 16-04-07)
*

The Spring The Spring is all very well and everything, But what am I to do with this love feeling? I want to share the surplus all around in action, And spare it; be lean, mean, and thriftily Savour the superfluous burgeoning swirl; save Scent for vital action, and I spin it all in butter- Cups, to a girl. Hey stranger! She's all twirl, And swaggering wayward, a wayfaring ranger Is diagonally sashaying high, climbing ankles, Sliding calves, to the genius of your thighs. Strut it! If only strength would allow me tospend Sweet hours, right here dwelling, speculating The plans I ought to be making, instead, What am I to do - with this love feeling? If not but dream a long, slow seduction of you
Archived comments for The Spring
delph_ambi on 16-04-2007
The Spring
What a yummy poem. Full of the joys of spring. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this one.

Author's Reply:
Hi delph, glad you enjoyed it - ain't spring great? The poem on the other hand could probably do with a little tweak, i've been drinking too much, and my bi-focals need a clean, but spring is so yummy i haven't had the time - suggestions as always, very welcome ambi xditty x

orangedream on 16-04-2007
The Spring
This IS delightful, little ditty, written in your own inimitable style. Love the lines:-

"Scent for final action and I spin it all in butter-
Cups, to a girl. Hey stranger! She's all a twirl ..."

😉 Tina x

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina :o) dyu think i should cut the -fuls thingy? I'll think on it Lady Orange, right now i think you're probably right, but it's been a long hard day what with one thing and another, and i'm suffering from sunstroke and haven't cleaned my house properly *tuts* - hope you are well, thanks a lot lot - dottyxxx

Tis done ----> xxditty x

Sunken on 16-04-2007
The Spring
Hello Ms. Ditty. I have a suggestion with regards to your love feeling. Why not inflate balloons with it? When you feel down simply stand beneath one and pop it with a pin.

'Savour the superfluous burgeoning swirl...'

Oh yeah, Ditty's on fire. Have a Yorkie. Can girl's eat Yorkies yet or are they still banned? It seems a bit sexist to me and no mistake.

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my tag was removed at birth

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunk, you are the kindest Yorkie twirling munky a pal could ask for you know? It's a great suggestion, but i am allergic to pins, i swell up something terrible and feel really really bad after - so thanks for the Yorkie, it helps, really,

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has a bar code on her arse


LOL xx:o)

Romany on 17-04-2007
The Spring
This is great - full of excitement, anticipation, expectation, longing ... all the things that sunshine and a new season, particularly spring, brings with it!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
HI Romany - Spring is an awesome time of year - all things bubbling up, the excitement of renewed life, anticipation of calm after storms - in the sunshine with all that life brings - yep, a new season -just got to remember to Rest enough to be able to enjoy it! Hectic time of year isn't it - hope you are having an energetic one, with lots of peace added to the mix - roll on Summer :o) Thanks Romany xxx

eddiesolo on 18-04-2007
The Spring
Hi LD...Tis me the edster...just wanted to say...I think this is a wonderful write!
And I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really...okay just been silly now...but, I really like it 🙂

Holds a sexual innocence.



Author's Reply:
Hello happy solo - good to see you full of beans, good for you :o) glad you like this write...Holds a sexual innocence? You are absolutely right with this here write - *looks around for my little ex student types who post and scroll these pages* - i don't tend to post anything that is not so Si - because of that; but, i think those little uns have all grown up by now, so who knows? I might have to post a missing pages sub, one day, lol! Hope you are well Si of the Spring time xxldx thanks for the fav pick - that's nice :o)

Ionicus on 19-04-2007
The Spring
What else can one do when spring arrives but blossom out and spread love and happiness like the poem suggests.

'I want to share the surplus all around in action,'

A nice lyrical piece. Very enjoyable.

Luigi x



Author's Reply:
Hi lovely Luigi - what can i say except agree with you right now, exactly what i'm thinking - but i have had a couple of Spanish honey rums - lots of ice, but i'm feeling all warm inside - what can i do but go with it? Glad you enjoyed my little poem - good to see you , Nicky x

deepoceanfish2 on 22-04-2007
The Spring
littleditty,

I am not going to go on and on (although I could, as it is well worth it), but I will say:

SUPERB !

Yummy, sensual, erotic, whimsical...has it all. A fav and a nomination for me. I hope this one makes the next anthology. It's well worth it.

Best wishes,

Adele

Author's Reply:
Hi Adele - thank you :o) - you've cheered me up as much as seeing three new kittens come out from the piping and ledges on the kinder garden roof downstairs - a nomination for The Spring time? The season gets my vote -the energy gets unfinished business well and truly sorted, glad you could see all the rest! -Thank you - Nicky x


Lily of the Nile (posted on: 02-04-07)
poem

Lily of the Nile Take my hand, come with me, we're heading south across the Red sea. Meet me at the mouth, at the swell of the Nile, pack your canoe, and make me smile. Paddle hard, bring fruit and phials, meet me at the swell at the mouth of the Nile. Straight for El Minha, Mallawi and Jirja, Blue Nile, White Nile, Lake Tanganyika, down through Africa, long past the Horn, so paddle hard, for the current is strong. Bring your nets, spin your charms, we fish for eel when the water is calm. And night, take your tent, your arms will call, the future's not spent until Victoria Falls. Before Pretoria, the Limpopo in Motion nights of warm currents from the Indian Ocean, where fleshy leaves Aga~pan~thus your bed, my map a shoulder where you lay your head. I picked from the mountain where they like it wet, amongst the bracken, stalk-hardy, I met: the peaty soil Lily, leaves swording her stem, cutting my breath with the Jewels of her gems. Cam~pan~u~latus Lily, her funnel shaped leaves, of dark green and rare blues said pick as you please. Go to your lover, your sweet warrioress, she is softer than frost, the drought, or neglect. Go to your lover, She is hardy; like me; and to keep her warm these petals fall free. The light through her stems caught the full morning sun, and the lilacs behind, and before her, for fun bent their ears to the dip to touch Gaia's drum; made your morning bed drip with the petals I picked; fettled my metal on the songs you had sung and danced up the moon from the depths of your lungs. The drum in the mountain the hum of your womb the lightening horizon signed ~ we had to go soon. Before Pretoria, the Limpopo in motion nights of warm currents from the Indian Ocean, where fleshy leaves Agapanthus your bed, my map a shoulder where you lay your head. Take my hand, make me smile, meet me at the mouth at the swell of the Nile. To the Cape of Good Hope may take quite a while, as we head south for the Lily of the Nile. Frost tender evergreen the frost will kill, sun on your leaves to spare you the chill, of a weakened heart and a weakened sap, pick tubular petals from the heart of your lap. With warmer hands make me smile to The Cape of Good Hope from the mouth of the Nile.
Archived comments for Lily of the Nile
orangedream on 02-04-2007
Lily of the Nile
How could I fail to comment on this one, little ditty. I must admit, this time, you have taught me a new word too, Campanulatas Lily. Having googled it, would that be the Scilla variety - the one in your beautiful poem, ie:-

"...her funnel shape leaves of dark green and rare blues .."

Also love the words:-

"...Limpopo in motion..."

This is a lovely 'mood poem' - for me anyway. A joy to read.

:-)Tina x



Author's Reply:
Hi Tina -thank you so much for that word! I had just rewritten a poem remembering my Granny Lily, and was moving on to write this, and that word agapanthus was what i needed to start me off! Glad you like it, the Campanulatas, the peaty soil one in the poem, is as a re reference to her, dark green and rare blue the colours forme of true nature and seeing things clearly - or something like that - could be Scilla, if you googled, i'll take a look. Thanks again, glad you liked this poem xxxnx

Zoya on 02-04-2007
Lily of the Nile
What a lovely, lyrical, lilting trip deep into African continent... It just keeps smoothly flowing like the waters of Nile!
I just love this piece!
(((Hugs Nikki!)))
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Dear Zoya - thank you :o) really glad you do - it's long and i am happy it kept your attention, because i dont want any breaks in it - hoped there are enough breaks for thought and breath in the rhyme and language to help the reader along - cheers :o) xxx

delph_ambi on 03-04-2007
Lily of the Nile
Sumptuous. Love the way this one meanders and flows and keeps one reading ever eager for the next beautiful turn of phrase.

Quite something to keep the rhyming going without it ever becoming intrusive.

Author's Reply:
Thanks delph - that's a reassuring comment -was thinking about that - glad you liked it xxx

Sunken on 05-04-2007
Lily of the Nile
Hello Ms. Ditty. Lily of the nile, it sounds like a moisturising cream that you lovely ladies put on your faces before retiring to bed. Is this my most inane comment yet? I did enjoy the poem. It flowed very naturally. My fav bit -

Agapanthus your bed,
my map a shoulder
where you lay your head.

That's class right there Ms. Ditty. Have a... Bounty bar. Do they still do Bounty bars? I use to love having coconut stuck in my teeth.

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no tag week continues (sorry, my hands are tied)

Author's Reply:
Comment rated 10

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no tag week sucks (you stole BOTH my gags! Amazing!)


Covalent (posted on: 02-04-07)
poem

Covalent Voice broken morning takes the night home to silk; where, from the dew, beaded dreams mine diamond words, each one to inlay a white gold necklace; a smooth ancient turquoise stone a dirty centrepiece; it might take ethanol grain, or white spirit to liven it up, leave it soundless, clean, an empty surface touch; though this would not please her: she, already flammable, C2H5 - OH - intoxicating exhilarant, fuckable, and...solvent; for an evanescent woman, this gift must sparkle in the daylight of a million stars; the steam, spit, and the polish of a soft chamois, loosens the tourniquet of grime on the stone's dusted veins, and there, I am, to reveal strong charcoal river lines bedding lush emerald meadows; slivery pathways marshalling petal specks of coral, spittle rimming the edges to a delicate filigree clasp; steam, grit, the power of breath, and golden flecks abound; I wake, the diamonds already inlayed to catch the dark olive of her eye, take volatile oil, essential, to make the glitter for her thighs. I am a jeweller of her arms, gold dust on my lips, lucid, transient; and heralding C2H2 - Oh...acetylene; intoxicated, explosive, fuckable...and solvent; vanishing......where I was, covalent, a voice broken, morning taking the night home to silk; where, from the dew, beaded dreams mine diamonds from her hips, each one to inlay a white gold necklace.
Archived comments for Covalent
e-griff on 03-04-2007
Covalent
complex, huh? Lucky I did A-level chemistry, etc.

I particularly liked the use of the word 'solvent'

I enjoyed it, but have the feeling some may find it too long and too concentrated to keep their attention on it. Or maybe it's my butterfly mind.

best JOhnG

Author's Reply:
Dear John - i didn't do any science beyond H2O at school - wish i had - if it is tooo concentrated to keep attention i am just glad that it kept yours - solvent is a bit funny innit! Thanks John xxx

delph_ambi on 03-04-2007
Covalent
Unfortunately I don't even have an O level in chemistry etc, but no matter; I pretty much 'got' the poem. Love the arching form and the richness of the vocabulary. Very sensuous writing.

Author's Reply:
Hi delph - me neither - and i got 'unclassified' in biology! Glad you got the poem - that's great - xxx

Sunken on 03-04-2007
Covalent
Blimey, you're a clever Ditty and no mistake. I will return to this piece later with a cup of coffee and a twix. It's very passionate. I may have trouble concentrating for the rest of the morning... Nothing new there then. An explosion of a poem Ms. Ditty. I hope this helps. Thanks.

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no tag week

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunks - don't think i am going to let that confectionary quip go unmarked -twix, of two little sticks, makes you smart as a whip in my book - if you had enough of a concentration span to get through this one, i say you're cured - an explosion helps doesn't it? Passionate poem, but its quite controlled in the delivery i think - it's the English in me - nothing i can do about it :O) fancy a cuppa? thanks.
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Sunken on 04-04-2007
Covalent
Lol. Ms. Ditty, no tag week has been forced upon me by the local council. They say I'm using too many and that there is a serious chance of a summer drought. I hope this meets with your approval and that we can both be civilized about it in an overtly English way. One lump or two?

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still no tag week

Author's Reply:
excuse me? the council ? Did you give them a twix? two please Sunken. thanks.



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no tag week still sucks

(don't know what happened there sunk - weird!)






eddiesolo on 13-04-2007
Covalent
Hi LD,

I like this the reference to alcohol as the chemical symbol is great, as is the line C2H5 oh... Loved that.

Enjoyed this very much.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Dear Si 🙂 - thank you so much - you have a track record of lifting my spirit from the ashes, and as you didn't know that i thought i'd say 🙂 - just back from the beach, cooking Thai fish soup - thanks for the fav on this poem, means a lot -xxxditz x


In Aura (posted on: 26-03-07)
edited poem

In Aura Evening coloured beautiful every ugly mark inked by fairy light, each leaf alive, rustling with red brick; sunset indigo pinks luminous geraniums, epic clouds screen operatic scenario, each scene in effervescent refraction; in aura's verse, day, and night's moment in brief, techno-colour-fancies, nudging golden auburn, blacke curls glowing into the old age of the night; and for these moments, and many moments, I weigh it all; and it is easy.
Archived comments for In Aura
Sunken on 26-03-2007
In Aura
In Aura - Very clever Ms. Ditty. Hate to see this with no comments so I have just popped on in-between therapy sessions to put things write. Did ya see what I did there? Ahem. Don't worry, I'll be gone before you know it. Your use of language continues to impress Ms. Ditty. I am in awe of In Aura. Right, where did I put my cuffs?

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the grass seemed damper on the other side

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken - you are lovely, they're behind you. Thanks for reading in Aura - and removing the comment free
silence from the sofa- where's my Toblerone? thanks. xxditty x

Sunken on 29-03-2007
In Aura
Dear Ms. Ditty, apparently there has been some kind of security incident regarding said Toblerone. Apparently, post office staff over here won't handle packages with sharp edges. Do you like cream eggs?

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making sense of her tattoos would require a mirror and a torch

Author's Reply:
Oh..disappointment...i love cream eggs, is it easter already? nearly easter - do they sell them at Ikea? I always found Budgens a good place for picking up cream eggs, they don't have a Budgens here though - did you know that Tenerife is known as 'the island of eternal spring'? lets hope so - bless you Sunken of Confectionary :o) xxxditty x

discopants on 29-03-2007
In Aura
I particularly like those first 3 lines- fantastic. So what colour is your aura? And I notice that you're logged in to UKA and 'the other site' at the same time- Ms. Ditty. Make your mind up!

disco (but not disco elsewhere ;0)

Author's Reply:
Dear disco who is not disco here now - i am still unsure about the bloomin ending of this one poem...oh well - i have no idea who i am now, although earlier today is was the colour of quite happy thanks for asking - which other site? oh....hmm...i shall investigate...i am often here but not here too - :o) xxditty x

discopants on 29-03-2007
In Aura
I particularly like those first 3 lines- fantastic. So what colour is your aura? And I notice that you're logged in to UKA and 'the other site' at the same time- Ms. Ditty. Make your mind up!

disco (but not disco elsewhere ;0)

Author's Reply:
...disco's shadow...away with you - they say they catch up with you one day...run disco, run! xxx

discopants on 29-03-2007
In Aura
bugger- I've only gone and accidentally commented twice, haven't I? (How the hell the 2 comments are timed at 22 minutes apart, I have no idea). Why can't you edit the comments you make on other's subs? Maybe it really was my shadow- either that or I'm being stalked by myself.

As for the ending- the words are fine but 'easy' probably needn't hog a line all to itself.

It's late and it's time to catch some sleep. Instead of counting sheep, I might recite the alphabet- abc...

disco (still disco) x


Author's Reply:
yeah - i've fiddled and it will change again i think, is easy - there's a site called counting sheep? interesting... xxxditty x 🙂


Beautiful woman (edited) (posted on: 26-03-07)
poem

Beautiful woman Syllables drip from your waist Loosening buckles Scented passing breeze Your walk ambles your essence Along the path, petal And the view from here Beautiful; placing your name In coloured snow prints One by one by one On the earth, radiating The light from the sky And to my eyes are rainbows And to yours, the gentle path
Archived comments for Beautiful woman (edited)
Zoya on 26-03-2007
Beautiful woman
A beautiful Waka, dear Nikky!
(((Hugs)))
Love, Zoya
PS Aren't last two lines supposed to have seven syllables each, in the classical form, not that it matters...?



Author's Reply:
Dear Zoya - now i don't know about Waka! I will find out !:o) This in my little mind, is more a Renga, more 3 linked Haiku - separate, 'One by one by one', and a concluding Haiku to end. It is presented as one poem, and i'm glad you enjoyed it. So now i must dash off and understand Waka - thank you Zoya so much xxxldx

orangedream on 26-03-2007
Beautiful woman
Don't know much about Waka or Haiku even but I do know I like this. It has such gentle feel about it - the words you use, and how you use them, as usual, delightful, little ditty.

:-)Tina xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina 🙂 - Thank you -glad you found it gentle - that's great. I wanted it to read as one poem - glad you could appreciate it as such - haiku 5/7/5 syllables per line, a renga tends to links theme or idea in haiku, and a Waka!? Zoya has put me on the trail to find out. 🙂

Beautiful woman
Syllables drip from your waist
Loosening buckles

Scented passing breeze
Your walk ambles your essence
(A)long the path, petal

And the view from here
Beautiful; placing your name
In coloured snow prints

One by one by one
On the earth, radiating
The light from the sky

xxxldx

Sunken on 26-03-2007
Beautiful woman
Hello Ms. Ditty. Well it definitely reads as one poem. Me being a bit ignorant, I hadn't noticed the Ikea icon until I read the previous comments. Lovely stuff Ms. Ditty, just like women, just like you. Fancy an apple?

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seeing his jcb bought a tear to her eye

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken of munky - glad you read it as one poem, i'm ignorant too - i'm still not sure where Ikea is on the island of Tenerife -there is one - i wonder if they serve meatballs? Glad you think it's lovely, you have an apple?
Thanks, but ive just had a big fruit salad. Cheers sunk :o) xxxditty x

Zoya on 26-03-2007
Beautiful woman
Dear Nikky,
A Renga is a couplet with two 7-7 syllable lines, written in answer to a Haihku (5-7-5), it was the old Japanese style of poetic question and answer or contests.
A Tanka is usually a five unit poem of 5-7-5/ 5-7-5/ 5-7-5 followed by two 7-7.
A Waka is never ending 5-7-5/ 5-7-5/ 5-7-5/ 5-7-5 and so on ending in 7-7.
These are just poetic forms of Japanese Haiku.
It really does not matter what you call it as long as you keep the 5-7-5 and end with 7-7-syllable count.
There are some other forms also of Waka like Choka, Sedoka etc. lol!
In fact even the syllable count is not strictly adhered to in English...
I am no stickler for forms but just mentioned it is passing. I liked, in fact, loved your poem and that is what matters to me... lol!
(((Hugs)))
Love, Zoya


Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya - ashamed i haven't done my research on waka yet -thanks for the list -i know a renga is written in answer to a Haiku, i think that the two 7-7 lines is one form, the form, for debate, but that any linked haiku, on idea, can be called a Renga - - - but i love the WAKA idea! and will write some. I lived in Japan for a good while and love Haiku, but am a bit ignorant on the other forms you mention -your enthusiasm will make me look into them all - thanks again - off to research! xxxnx more a waka now Zoya :o) xxxx

delph_ambi on 27-03-2007
Beautiful woman
Lovely poem. Sumptuous. Works well as a single entity. I wouldn't put stanza breaks in.

Author's Reply:
HI delph - no, no stanza breaks in this one i think - thanks for telling me it works, glad you liked it xxxldx

Bradene on 29-03-2007
Beautiful woman
OH I really liked that LD very alluring. Val x

Author's Reply:
Hi Val - glad you liked it - thanks for telling me :o) LD x

flossieBee on 01-04-2007
Beautiful woman (edited)
Meant to get to this last week. Beautiful and sexy (although I'm sure lots is passing me by). There seems to be so much of the Island in your poems now. How is the Island by the way? I heard about a haiboon, related to a haiku, the other week. (100 syllables, I think)
xx

Author's Reply:
Hi :o) i'll tell you everything! - -it's spring, and this island is known as 'the island of eternal spring' - how am i going to cope with that i have no idea!! Hurry up and get here xxxnx

flossieBee on 01-04-2007
Beautiful woman (edited)
Found a nice haibun!

http://poetrylives.com/CHO/pages31/Hortensia_Anderson.html

xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you :o) xxxnx


Timbre (posted on: 12-03-07)
poem - thanks to the ever vigilant e-griff for getting me to think some...

A day of flaccid glances broken By the timbre of your eye to eye. Partial vibrations hum - seconds split, You and I - an instant pitch to pitch. Fundamental tones sing animal harmonics In the drive-by shooting of a look. Overtones cross the columns of air With a strike; bowed, blown; and shook So... by this quiver tasty arrow wind - Ten thick strings vibrate; Tones resonate long after You have passed; I, Strung between two bridges, An Aeolian Harp.
Archived comments for Timbre
e-griff on 12-03-2007
Timbre
This has a lot going for it, sneaky rhymes, cute ideas 🙂 ...

Even though 'you and I' might have been meant to rhyme with 'eye' , it created a false, tricksy note to me.

I liked 'drive-by shooting of a look'

In this:
'Overtones cross the columns of air
With a strike, bow, blown and shook'
I couldn't quite work out the tenses, especially blow and more so of 'shook' - even if 'with a strike, bow' is separate and 'blown and shook' refers back to 'overtones' it should be 'blown and shaken' surely?


Author's Reply:
hi John - thanks - there should be a little off-beat tricky going on - was debating an ín´- but chopped it.
did i do wrong?!
You and I - in an instant pitch to pitch.

as for shook - welllll.... i wanted the I out of it there...! Now what am i going to do? Thanks for making me think about it :o) xxxldx

'Overtones cross the columns of air
With a strike; bowed, blown; and (I) shook
So... from? this quiver tasty arrow wind -
Ten thick strings vibrate;
Tones resonate long after
You have passed; I,
Strung between two bridges,

will think about it! cheers John!

Sunken on 12-03-2007
Timbre
(-: You are more than a touch of class Ms. Ditty. You are a bloody big articulated lorry full of class. Well done on the nib. Thanks for your recent footwear info btw. I have completed the graph and will colour it in shortly. Thanks.

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but thy don't do them in purple, she said as he contemplated the next move

Author's Reply:
Dear God, my friend Sunken is obviously a mench - please help him finish his footwear graph, and in purple if he wishes, as there is nothing wrong with the colour purple, and that's a fact. Small purple and light blue socks today, thanks - ditty xxxxx

discopants on 12-03-2007
Timbre
You're in a rich vein of form, as football commentators might say. I've read through your poem a few times to try to pick up all the nuances and a little more is revealed each time.

I would hyphenate 'drive by' as I stumbled over it at first before I picked up the correct interpretation.

Author's Reply:
Hi Disco -yes - i should hyphenate drive-by - will do - wanted to try and not, but you are right...thanks, glad you liked this one and that you gave it a good go - cheers 🙂 xxx

royrodel on 15-03-2007
Timbre
poem - thanks to the ever vigilant e-griff for getting me to think some...
was patrionising
a poem about eye contact
well I liked it

RODEL

Author's Reply:
RODEL - glad you liked the poem - you think my thanks to e-griff was patronising? Does he feel that way about it? I certainly hope not, i mean it sincerely, and thanked him because his attention to detail helped me to think about it, and make changes to my poem. Thanks, littleditty.


Jolen on 16-03-2007
Timbre
I agree, LD, you got the goods and they are well displayed within this short and clever piece. It's great to see your work nibbed and I hope this finds you well.
blessings from Leeds,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen of Leeds 😀 I went to Leeds once and had a disgraceful time with a bunch of film students - ah... memories...this was my attempt at being a bit musical, glad you liked - hope all is well with you -if it's too cold, pop over here to sunny Tenerife for some sunshine :o) xxx

Sunken on 16-03-2007
Timbre
She's wonderful isn't she Ms. Jolen? Welcome to sunny England by the way. I hope you haven't met any nutters yet... apart from us lot of course. Whilst I'm here - Ms. Ditty, what is a 'mench'? I have tried looking it up but can't find it. Thanks.

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she felt the toyota move

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken, i'm not telling because it would blow your cover as a cheeky munky, its a nice German/yiddish word, i hope this helps, thanks xxxditty x

littleditty on 18-03-2007
Timbre
You called me a mensch before? That's twice then! I'll walk around a bit taller today...thanks 😀 xxx

Author's Reply:

deepoceanfish2 on 21-03-2007
Timbre
littleditty,

My first time reading your work and am happily impressed! Your opening contains some of the most powerful metaphor I've read this year. I love this entire segment:

'...A day of flaccid glances broken
By the timbre of your eye to eye.
Partial vibrations hum - seconds split,
You and I - an instant pitch to pitch.
Fundamental tones sing animal harmonics
In the drive-by shooting of a look....'

Beautiful. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Best wishes,

Adele


Author's Reply:
Hi Adele - you have really cheered me up! Glad you like this one - i was happily rummaging around in your cupboard today too - thank you for what you have said :o) xxldx
Nicky x


Brass Frottage (posted on: 05-03-07)
😮

I, wrapped around your spoon, Honeyed and warm, sheet hot Milk running down your form Don't take the I from a poem Of liquid gold, the amberling glow Of touches, fingertip to toe. It isn't me in the spotlight, Just in the heat from Mercury Rising, from silvery shadows Dancing the age it takes to trace The top brass bronze of you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frottage_(surrealist_technique)
Archived comments for Brass Frottage
e-griff on 05-03-2007
Brass Frottage
a sweet and golden poem. Interesting.

I wasn't sure about 'amberling' I liked it, but ... -- and , er, Wiki seems to leave out the main definition of 'frottage' which yes, means rubbing, but usually in a sexual sense. 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi John - glad you like it - re amberling, i liked it, but too, and then liked it enough - thought it wouldnt annoy/distract the reader too much - did it you? - wiki, if you just search frottage, will give you the sexual meanings in much detail - i put the other link there because i thought folk might not know this word very well, and the non sexual meaning might explain a little more of what i was up to in the poem. Thanks for reading - good to hear you found it interesting -CheersJohn xxxldx

delph_ambi on 05-03-2007
Brass Frottage
A poem to read and re-read and savour. Enjoyed this one.

Author's Reply:
HI delph-ambi - your comment on this one poem makes me feel chuffed and pleased with my little effort - thank you - please feel free to tell me what you feel doesnt work so well for you, if you feel inclined - i like that you enjoyed this one, and would also be very happy to hear from you when you feel something is weak or better another way - it is so useful, and why i put these ditties here. Thanks again, xxxldx

Sunken on 05-03-2007
Brass Frottage
(-: Blimey. When something is this good I tend to swear a lot. I respect you too much for that tho Ms. Ditty, so I shall merely say, this is flippin' good. Are you wearing shoes today, or some other type of footwear? I need to know for my international graph of feet. Thanks.

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they tuned into the moon before letting go

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - thanks for starting with a smile - you are flippin' luvly - i am wearing mostly socks with grippy bits on the bottom to ward off slipping, sometimes sneakers/trainers/heavy duty sandals for same reason, and sometimes nothing at all - all in a days walk - this footwear business does require quite a bit of thought doesn't it? - good luck with the chart - i hope this helps, thanks. xxxditty x

discopants on 05-03-2007
Brass Frottage
Still getting my head around this but it flows smoothly and sinuously, working it's way through gold and silver to bronze. I did get a bit distracted by the 'It isn't me in the spotlight' because I immediately had REM's 'Losing My Religion' in my head- you know that line: 'That's me in the spotlight...' In fact, I'm off to play some loud music to shake it out of there.

Greta poem.

Author's Reply:
Hi Disco - it was a deliberate similar line, and spotted by you, losing my religion - had to be there that reference - but i am sorry if it annoyed too much? - glad you liked this one poem and its flow through ideas - and that it got to you enough to make it a fav -thanks a lot lot 😀 xxxldx

discopants on 05-03-2007
Brass Frottage
Bollocks- I must check my typing- great poem, not a greta poem (whatever that is).

Author's Reply:
-i thought you were just speaking with an Italian accent, great/greta - sweet either way - xxldxx

flossieBee on 07-03-2007
Brass Frottage
I enjoyed it too. I agree, sensuous and sensual. I particularly like the beginning 'I, wrapped around your spoon/honeyed and warm...' and 'don't take the I from the poem' It's dense with images that provoke thought.

Love Flo xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi FloJo - thanks - i think i quite like this one, glad you do too - xxxnx

Andrea on 07-03-2007
Brass Frottage
Love the title, never heard of Frottage, what a great word! - does it rhyme with cottage or fromage?

Reminds me of 'fuckwittage' (which apparently should rhyme with 'fromage', according to Helen Fielding, who coined it)

Nice one.

Author's Reply:
Hi Andrea -well, it is a French word and i want it rhyming with Brass -so fromage for me if that's ok with Hellen and everyone? Glad you liked it, thanks for popping in 🙂 xxxldx

Romany on 07-08-2007
Brass Frottage
This title has been stuck in my head and popping up unbidden ever since it has been displayed on the front page as recommended by the WOTM, so , I had to have a peep! I have been rhyming it with 'cottage' so now I am at least a little more educated on that front. I wiki'd it too, as it is a new word to me.

This poem is warm and melting, sweet and glowing and heavy with sensuality - can't understand how I missed it before!

Romany.

Author's Reply:

gilded_kage on 10-08-2007
Brass Frottage
This poem has huge potential! I especially love the first two lines. Very sensual and quirky.

I was waiting, though, for the verb. The poem starts out like a sentence: "I, wrapped around your spoon"...but what is the "I" doing? I got a bit lost there.

I like the playfulness of: "Don't take the I from a poem"--brilliant.

Author's Reply:
Hi gilded_kage - glad you like this poem - I think that first 'I' is just there, hanging out in the poem! "Don't take the I from the poem" - thanks for commenting, sorry its taken a while to get back here, i have been ages with limited internet, managed to read your poem with interest tho' - Cheers xxldx


Up River (posted on: 23-02-07)
prosepoem - or flash?

She says that to search for peace is futile because once we have it, we turn the war in on ourselves. She lights a smoke under the stars. ''There is never peace everywhere. Yet hope of it exists, always so brazen at this time of year.'' She dips a paddle-tip into thick water. ''Olive branches appear and disappear, a slight tilt to the right; a light shift to the left; candles, fireflies and fairy lights, to offset a little dark.'' I have her back. So perhaps it's not her eyes that flash. ''New year's resolutions define the lists of things to do, becoming the lists of broken promises, of what not to. Making plans, sustaining delusions, building on something, reaching conclusions; righteous architects walking on the water of the swamp.'' She paddles though the sludge, ''If you want it, there is some peace in the shallow breath of the canoe.'' An owl hoots and she smiles. I watch her flick the tobacco tip like a fish jumping over the side. ''Let's drink tonight!'' and there's the flash, as she leans right back, and howls.
Archived comments for Up River
e-griff on 23-02-2007
Up River
i can't think of the words that describe this ... 🙂 It IS very good,... evocative? hmm ... resonant images ... mmm.

best JohnG 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi JOhn :o) I think it's a prosepoem - another one, i'm thinking these kind are better shorter...still fiddling with prosey poem type things - but i'm glad you thought this good and resonant - do you think it would work in poem format? Funny business 🙂 Thanks for reading this onexxldx

Romany on 23-02-2007
Up River
Intriguing and atmospheric piece!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Romany 🙂 I snipped various descriptions and passing scenery so i'm glad it is still atmospheric without that, and intriguing too - thanks for telling me xxxldx

woodbine on 23-02-2007
Up River
I think of the two poems you publish together this is the more interesting
but less accessible, so the other is receiving more attention. I like this poem very much so don’t take the these observations as negatives.

Starting from scratch I ask myself what is the poem about, whose voice is it, and whose country are we in. When we people a poem with characters I believe the author is all of her creations, which here include ‘she’, the righteous architects, and the Howling Wolf Woman So lets all go down to the woods today and see who is and who isn’t having a lovely time. Hello to the ghost of Angela Carter peeping from behind that tree and to Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her Running with the Wolves jogging outfit. if you want to avoid these associations I would be inclined to change the ending and maybe have the Owl do the howling and let ‘she’ do the hooting.

Concerning the voice, I think the ‘she’ device is a cunning plan to distance Little Ditty from her own opinions, which is not meant as criticism, since we all or nearly all do it at sometime or another.

What is the poem about? the key to this is in the time of year being February which follows Christmas where hope for peace exists,’ always so brazen at this time of year’ and one of the best lines in the poem.
February is the winter month where according to Little Ditty we look at our frailties and all our good resolutions which didn’t turn out the way we hoped.

And where are we? We are up the creek but fortunately Little D has a firm grasp of her paddle.
Best wishes, Johnxx

Author's Reply:
Hi John - i loved your comment! Thank you so much - it is february still - wrote this when most had broken vows in January - quite like how it turned out too - the voice -the she mouthing off her opinions - well, she's sat up front - am i more the one sitting at the back trying not to loose my paddle to the swamp? - an up shit creek poem without a paddle, except with her upfront and a firm grip i think we'll make it out of there. Thanks so much, you made me smile a lot xxxlittleDxx

kenochi on 24-02-2007
Up River
prosepoem, no...flash, no, no, prosepoem...etc

don't think it matters what it is. Its skilful. Very well written and interesting. You can tell its good because people are seeing all sorts of associations with other writers in it - personally I thought the opening sentence very Nietzsche-like.
Anyway, liked it.



Author's Reply:
Thanks Mark, yes, i dont know where it started from -i cant remember, but the chick upfront has a lot to say for herself - and i think i agree with her! Glad you liked it - you still have me wondering if this style will work for longer pieces -you said once, style over substance -this one little short perhaps has both which is why you think its a good'n - cheers xxxn

woodbine on 24-02-2007
Up River
I think of the two poems you publish together this is the more interesting
but less accessible, so the other is receiving more attention. I like this poem very much so don’t take the these observations as negatives.

Starting from scratch I ask myself what is the poem about, whose voice is it, and whose country are we in. When we people a poem with characters I believe the author is all of her creations, which here include ‘she’, the righteous architects, and the Howling Wolf Woman So lets all go down to the woods today and see who is and who isn’t having a lovely time. Hello to the ghost of Angela Carter peeping from behind that tree and to Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her Running with the Wolves jogging outfit. if you want to avoid these associations I would be inclined to change the ending and maybe have the Owl do the howling and let ‘she’ do the hooting.

Concerning the voice, I think the ‘she’ device is a cunning plan to distance Little Ditty from her own opinions, which is not meant as criticism, since we all or nearly all do it at sometime or another.

What is the poem about? the key to this is in the time of year being February which follows Christmas where hope for peace exists,’ always so brazen at this time of year’ and one of the best lines in the poem.
February is the winter month where according to Little Ditty we look at our frailties and all our good resolutions which didn’t turn out the way we hoped.

And where are we? We are up the creek but fortunately Little D has a firm grasp of her paddle. Love the line about the canoe by the way. Also the cigarette fish.
Best wishes, Johnxx

Author's Reply:
yes, the fish tip cig - i cut more descriptions of place - there were some nomads on the banks, they went too! kept the descriptions and the whole thing as tight as poss - could be anywhere, this creek - cheers John xxxx

Zoya on 24-02-2007
Up River
“New Year’s resolutions define the lists of things to do, becoming the lists of broken promises, of what not to. Making plans, sustaining delusions, building on something, reaching conclusions; righteous architects walking on the water of the swamp.”
This is my favourite stanza, I can relate to it, it happens to me all the time; I can see it is a quote. Where is it from?
Love the title too!
(((Hugs)))
I think you are becoming an expert at prose poems... lol!
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hello Zoya 🙂 it's not a quote quote -just what she says, poetic little canoeist she is! Glad you liked it and could relate - - the title, i compromised by the end of writing it because to start i think i was writing 'Up shit creek, without a paddle' !!! Do you know this expression? Thanks for popping in and for the hugs :o)xxx

e-griff on 24-02-2007
Up River
I think it might be more comfortable to read in a vague 'poetic form' (loose)

but the meaning would be the same. G

Author's Reply:
Hi john -i'm trying to gather the poem drafts to post to you but never am in the right place, with the right stuff when on line (still without my own connection) - i will add one here to show you later. The little paragraphs/verses look all stretched and skinny on uka - when on A4, they lay out like respectable paragraphs, looking better for reading - i should have formatted it here i reckon. Thanks John - poem to follow...xxxldx


Duplex Flat (posted on: 23-02-07)
poem

Someone will pay cash, gold for the cracks Which hang on the wall - the patches Of unfinished business, the dust, Dead matches, all the spaces We eked out of stone - sold off. They can have the lot: fridge-freezer, Washing machine, waxed and whittled Wooden wall-to-ceiling doorframes, The staircase, the height of it - plans, A loft - smashed through breezeblocks Into the council roof - rooms created In corridor cupboards, sliding doors, Double glazed views to the dome of St Paul's, The lights, twinkling eyes, over Canary Wharf; All under the hammer, whatever, sold off; While I live by a volcano, studying stars, Turning the rainbow at the Gemini Bar; Metal detecting, cycling, crossbow too, And panning for gold, I'll surely miss you.
Archived comments for Duplex Flat
flossieBee on 23-02-2007
Duplex Flat
Very good. '...patches of unfinished business...' and the ideas of gold/metal detecting. Strange old business. It's a good ad for the flat. You should put it in the Ham and High.

How's the volcano....hot, I'm guessing....see you in the Gemini bar.

fB xx

Author's Reply:
mettle -so far so good, today rented a place for the 15th march -what d'you want for dinner? and talked with a woman who runs a little school - most subjects KS3/4, gcses, A level - she wants to set up Drama, generally 10 or less per class, across the road from flat - oh - and the beach 😀 - so? fancy a twirl?:o)

Glad you think it's a good one, spent a bit of time on it, deciding xxx

Sunken on 23-02-2007
Duplex Flat
What a day! one of my fav Ukaneers is back... that reminds me of a Take That song... 'I just want you back for goood...'. That's done it ditty, I may have to a Take That day. 'A million love songs later... ' Top poem, nuff said. You know I can't crit. Who cares? Welcome home.

s
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that night at the loan shark disco would haunt me for many years

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - don't those Take That boys look good these days? Just a matter of Patience really, i almost feel bad that i must i have said some pretty nasty things about them - thanks for popping in, welcome home - what a lovely thing to say -but i am worried that i havent distracted you quick enough and you are still singing those songs - they put something in them, you know?? 'Cause I... YI... I..... I... I.. just need a little...' ...... it only takes one shark, doesn't it? xxxlittle of ditty x

discopants on 23-02-2007
Duplex Flat
Nice one. Liked the alliteration in the middle of the poem and the 'rooms created/In corridoe cupboards' phrase in particular.

Are you in the shadow of Mt Teide now?

Author's Reply:
HI Disco - glad you liked it -thanks for telling me - Teide can be seen most of the time poking up behind the other mountains -i'll have to go up, its supposed to be the third biggest one -so when i have had enough of the sunshine 😀 i'll go visiting! Today the sea was mysteriously rough and sometimes Sahara sand blows over in dusty wind, but most the time this place lives up to its name - the island of eternal spring - ah lovely! Hope you are well 🙂 xxldx

orangedream on 24-02-2007
Duplex Flat
Hello there littleditty. Your poem is a gem. At the top of Teide it's surreal. Went there a few years ago. The landscape, so lunar. Had to keep pinching myself. It was as if I'd somehow landed on the moon!

Congrats on the nib and nom, by the way! Well deserved.

kind regards
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - yes i'm looking forward to the lunar landscape part - used to feel a bit like that when jumping around on the (coal!) slag heaps outside Cardiff - very spooky nights they were. Glad you like the poem - yes the nom button is red! - poetry is a funny thing, what is considered a gem or not is so in the eye of the beholder aint it? Thanks for your comments, and your poems - which i always enjoy - i ought to say so more often, comment more...*tuts* Cheers xxx

Zoya on 24-02-2007
Duplex Flat
Prime location, that too on the South Bank! Pity it is sold off!
" All under the hammer, whatever, sold off;
While I live by a volcano, studying stars,
Turning the rainbow at the Gemini Bar; "
I love these lines, they tell all!
Great piece of work Nikki, well deserved pen and I second the nom.
(((Hugs)))
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya 🙂 Thank you, glad you like it. Actually - its more up North, 'Crossbow' was originally 'Archery', for Archway, North London, but overlooking that glittering Canary Wharf - which was sold off and redeveloped into a business district, as was/is a lot of social/council housing - Thatcher gave council tennants the 'Right to Buy' their homes. There is a lot of doubling up in this Duplex Flat Gemini poem - two minds for most things, including the 'Right to Buy' scheme - but there IS a Gemini Bar here, which i will pop into, and that tells another story - about the 'we' in the poem - as it's not just the flat i will miss - hugs too, xxx

eddiesolo on 25-02-2007
Duplex Flat
Hi LD,

This is wonderful write, you have a real unique style that is just distinct as a LD classic.

Enjoyed very much.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Si:) thanks, i'm really glad you think so - i apologise for delays in replying, i am still without my own connection, but at least have access some evenings now - haven't been subbing much so i can spend my time reading, and hope to comment more often. Thank you for popping in, much appreciated xxxldx


Spin the Balance Wheel (posted on: 08-12-06)
...edit

This is the amount left over, a time hidden, when the harmony and proportion of the Artist has been decisively weighed. This is the uncertain stage, all things in the balance, when Music and the relative volume of sources and sound becomes a silent hum. The balancing in a constellation (to counteract and compare one thing with another) is an apparatus without a sword but with a central point, a beam and two scales to weigh the true importance of it all. To balance or make equal and make all well, spin the wheel, and consider on balance, that all trade appear as a zero on the sheet. Spin the Balance Wheel which neutralizes the weight or importance of it all harmoniously.
Archived comments for Spin the Balance Wheel
eddiesolo on 09-12-2006
Spin the Balance Wheel
Hi LD,

I thought this a really good piece.

I like the fact that the author tells the reader, inviting the them to spin that wheel. Find their own balance.

Enjoyed.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Roll up roll up - spin the wheel! Glad you enjoyed Si - thanks for telling me xxx

flossieBee on 10-12-2006
Spin the Balance Wheel
love the idea of equating of artistry. Or maybe you're talking about the point where it becomes immeasurable (sp??) All very John Donne.
fB x

Author's Reply:
HI -very old recurring(sp?:)poem this one - i think i wrote it when i was a youngster type, meditating a lot - immeasurable eh?...i'll read it again! - thanks fB xx

Sunken on 10-12-2006
Spin the Balance Wheel
Hello Ms. Ditty. How are you this crisp December morning. I like your poem very much. It reminds me of a Pearl Jam song, but I forget the title now. I blame my forgetfulness on the following three things, an over-indulgence in zinc supplement, a sleeping policeman with a penchant for body counts and, of course, turnips. By the way, I hope you never change your avatar/pic, it is very cute and always makes me smile. I hope this helps. Thanks.

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regrets berlin

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - i feel awful - i just found this unanswered comment from your good self - was it forgetfulness? I cant remember! Have you commented on my cuteness before? I'll ask a policeman. Please forgive me, i am full of regret and completely out of turnips - sorry sunk - and: thanks. xxditty of little x

Sunken on 15-03-2007
Spin the Balance Wheel
Aww. You must never feel awful Ms. Ditty... I have such a dirty mind. I will refrain from suggesting what you could feel instead. Jeezus. I'm surprised you speak to me at all, so don't be worrying about missing this comment. I have since remembered said track btw - I think it was a lesser known single called 'Spin the black circle'. They almost sounded like the Sex Pistols and it proper blew my head off when I heard it. Needless to say, it did bugger all chart-wise. I have turnips a plenty for a cute Ditty and no mistake. And now, so as we appear in keeping with the period of your poem, may I wish a very merry Xmas and Happy new year. Thanks.

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PS. I have finished the graph. Tomorrow I start on a Venn diagram that will incorporate the main components of a 1987 Sony VHS video recorder. It is quite a challenge and perhaps a step too far for a graph novice like myself. We must endeavor to test ourselves Ms. Ditty. Wish me luck. Thanks.

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken -'Spin the black circle' shall have to be goooogled - what a top title - and seasonal greetings to you too of course - if you start tomorrow why is it called a Venn diagram? It's all too high tech for a little ditty like me, all the best of luck to you, always -xxxditty of little x


For who wants nothing (posted on: 08-12-06)
:Oo editing...asprin anyone?

''This is how it is: Words for you, slow and styled, a form you like - words wrapped up in couplets; by stealth, clich, or tested tactic: Surprise! Bouquets of dandelion clocks and magic candles, you know, to flicker on into the night. This is how: each word is planted; simple, one after the other; stalkers in patterns play patty-cake songs. Your head is at an angle, ear like a funnel flower, upturned: for the involuntary spasm of a pencil; lead like mercury, sounds sliding the oval crease of a miming tongue in a fool's silvery pouring of gold. Can you not see loss as a dissipating flock of picture bubbles ting-ing champagne flutes behind us? This is how it is: If it is hot: a swollen brain, sitting like a god of the tides, pours tipping tongues into the swirling shell of the ear this way. If by stealth, couplet or clich, if one blushes before some art, and flushed, keeps it - with respect: this is how: I am smiling, for who wants nothing, for a piece of inedible heart''
Archived comments for For who wants nothing
Romany on 08-12-2006
For who wants nothing
Favourite line:

Bouquets of dandelion clocks and magic candles,
You know, to flicker on into the night - magic!

Don't pretend to full understand this vibrant and packed full of imagery poem, but know I enjoyed it, although if I am honest I will say that the structure made the reading a little stilted. Perhaps that was intentional?

Romany.

Author's Reply:
HI Romany - thanks for your comments, which are really helpful -i have put this poem on the naughty step -its driving me nuts - and as i thought it was doomed from the start, i'm not surprized its here, in this condition....there should be something sinister, gentleman predator was a sexist title for while, so it should be dubiously smooth 🙁 and attract and repel - and be ambiguous -oh dear -if you fancy an edit -please 'ave a go if you think yor hard enough - i need an asprin :o) - thanks Romany xxxlittledizzy x

discopants on 08-12-2006
For who wants nothing
Some densely packed imagery and some great phrases. The density of the images is such that the reader maybe needs a breather somewhere but I liked the poem. My one reservation was that the word 'upturned' felt like a word too far in that line and disrupted the flow a bit, otherwise fine.

Author's Reply:
Hi Disco - yes - there were a whole load of other images that i cut to try and make it more airy and easier to understand -i've tried this one every which way - have fiddled with 'upturned' now and will take any other suggestions to see what becomes of this one! Thanks for your help 🙂 xxldx

discopants on 09-12-2006
For who wants nothing
Version 2 reads more smoothly for me.

Author's Reply:
Hi disco - thanks - version 2 is the smoother version, batch 407 - i think i'll pop up the 407, and see what becomes of it! thanks for telling me xxldx

Sunken on 09-12-2006
For who wants nothing
If I had a nib I'd give you one... Why do I like saying that. Sorry Ms. Ditty, I have awoken with my brain in my pants again. This is a really good sub in my munky opinion. Well done.

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regrets, he's had a few

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken, if only you had a nib, cos i know i'm not getting one any other way. I still think this poem is dooooomed, but i think i may have laid it to rest putting it here *does dance -ceremony type thing* Thanks for coming dressed appropritely to the festivities - you can take your pants off your head now - becuse we are going to have cake and eat it too, and they'll be dancing, dancing - thanks Sunken with just a few regrets, you're luvely xxxditty x

e-griff on 09-12-2006
For who wants nothing
I understand what you mean about this - it is like a chrysalis, partly opened, with glimpses of a colourful, complete butterfly about to emerge and fly. But not just yet. JOhnG 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hi John -it's like chrysalis..? blimey, i'll have to think about that one - i really will have to think about that one!! Thanks for commenting:O) xxxlittlepuzzled x

orangedream on 09-12-2006
For who wants nothing
Have to second Val and Sunken here. I just liked it - that's all and everything, I guess, when it comes to the crunch.

:-)Tina x

Author's Reply:
That's good to know Tina, and will be good to know when i come back here again - thank you for telling me :o) Nicky xxx

pencilcase on 10-12-2006
For who wants nothing
Well I think this goes well up to and including 'ear like a funnel flower, upturned'. But then I suppose it's only natural that I of all people should be concerned at the 'involuntary spasm of a pencil' line.

pencil
!

PS
Despite my failure to resist commenting on the 'pencil' angle, I really do think the first half-ish reads well. Given other comments and your replies, is it perhaps a bit too busy later on? I like the flush/blush art/heart thing going on but feel it could be a punchier ending - be a little less 'wordy' at the end to power it to its conclusion. Sorry I can't engage for longer at the mo - these involuntary spasms are wearing me out.

Author's Reply:
Hi Mr Case - i like that line!!! lol. I agree the begining has been pretty much set since it was written -the rest is a hatchet job and i hope i come back to it and give it another go, going way back to the first draft might be a good idea - intentions have been lost along the way and it might not make it to poem status, poor thing, oh well :o) Thanks for leaving a voluntary spasm here - i will follow your advice when i come back to this little doomed write! xxxldx

teifii on 13-12-2006
For who wants nothing
I don't really understand all of it but I like a lot of the images and also the internal rhymes.
I await its progress.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - happy new year to you :o) i've been taking a break, sorry for the delay, seems ages since i struggled with this one -interesting to read it again now! Glad you liked -thanks Daff xxxldx

Jolen on 08-01-2007
For who wants nothing
Ohhhhhhh Nicky! I loved this. I think you are are very clever and this is another proof of it. Damn! it's good to see your fine work again. I loved the ending especially and your lines
"This is how it is: If it is hot: a swollen brain,
sitting like a god of the tides, pours tipping tongues
into the swirling shell of the ear à this way. " blew me away!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen :o) i have been taking a break from it all - even through disappearing comments and complete neglect of on line matters, i know you are coming here -is this right? When? Happy you liked this one, i didn't much! I'll come back to it...yours have been strong subs recently, sorry not to have been commenting - i cant be on line much at the mo - hope you are well, happy 2007! xxx

Jolen on 19-01-2007
For who wants nothing
Hi Nicky: Yes, I am moving to England. I should be there the last week of February, as long as everything goes well. I will be in Leeds. But I plan to do a lot of traveling and I would love to get together.
Thank you about my work, and no worries about the comments, I am just pleased you feel they are strong. I admire your talent so much.
I am sorry that you are having a hard time with being on line, but pray that things are good for you.
I wasn't here (on UKA) for quite awhile as I am so busy with my admin job and then too, the Ezine ScirbeSpirit.
Check us out there. www.ScribeSpirit.org...
The disappearing comments and work was not fun and I lost some of the most cherished comments, as I am sure most of us have. I pray that is all in the past.
Anyhoo, It's great to see you and you feel free to give me a shout, here or by email or whatever. My email is listed on my page and or you can get it from Ross...
I hope to see you again soon. Be well, and again, my best this new year to you and yours.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Jolen - hows it going? you alright over there? Nicky x

eddiesolo on 24-01-2007
For who wants nothing
Hi Nicky,

What an interesting piece, I found it a busy poem and I had to read it a few times.

I liked it though.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Dear Si - when did you come along here with your smiling face and nobody said a word? pffs and tuts and thank you for popping in - glad you liked it -it is a bit busy you are right - thank you Si xxx:o)


Broken Teeth, by discopants and littleditty (posted on: 04-12-06)
Once upon a time discopants and littleditty wrote a poem for a poetry workshop up on the forum 🙂

Shadowplay Broken Teeth Monogamy doesn't laugh, polygamy's last words Were promises breaking into a sprint Down a damp alley, lamp-lit, A cat choking on infidel moments in a corner. Talk of remembered freedom brings A jeweled scowl in the half-light, With its shadowed edges only visible To those who wish they could not see. A taxi clocks last laughs from the curb, Returning to exchanges in a corridor As an opportunity not to be missed. This ugly fur, down a damp alley, lamp-lit, Clings grimly to fog-bound aspirations, A siren sounds, stirring suppressed thoughts Of cold hospital corridors and x-rays, Of shadowed edges and monogamy's broken teeth.
Archived comments for Broken Teeth, by discopants and littleditty
Kat on 04-12-2006
Shadowplay
Well, this poem's a real hooker ;o) From that intriguing opening line to its poetic skill and depth of meaning/implication - I was line and sinkered! Love the repeat of:

'Down a damp alley, lamp-lit,' = very effective.

I will reread this a few times - well done to the dynamic duo!

Kat x



Author's Reply:
Thanks for the comment. In what sense do you mean the poem is a hooker-hmm...



We didn't discuss theme or 'tactics' but the repeated phrases and recurring images seemed to work quite well. Glad you enjoyed.



Disco (on behalf of us both!)
(can i be Robin? :D) thanks Kat xxldx

Romany on 04-12-2006
Shadowplay
Well done indeed. Full of imagery and a sense of bitterness. I think it's interesting that you two seem either to have had a great empathy for each other's writing and tailored your own to fit, or you are similar in your espressions anyway! Loved:

A jewelled scowl in the half-light,


Congratulations both!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Romany,

Littleditty can't be with us this evening so allow me to respond. I think it was a question of tailoring our writing to dove-tail with each other which was all part of the challenge. This certainly isn't something I would or could have written on my own but I certainly enjoyed writing it; I won't say who wrote what bits or in what order just yet but I'm pleased that you perceived an empathy between us.

Disco (&littleditty)

e-griff on 04-12-2006
Shadowplay
Mucho clevero! Worth reading a few times to get down the layers ... (well, for a slowie like me). Good stuff!

Author's Reply:
Muchas gracias; habla espanol

Writing it was fun!

dp & ld

eddiesolo on 04-12-2006
Shadowplay
I agree, you do need to read this a few times to absorb the content.

Excellent piece!

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
HI Si:) it's a dramatic little number, really glad you liked it - that there is enough of a story there to be interesting - that's good news. Cheers! xxxditty x (disco - Si left a box for you down there *points down*;)

eddiesolo on 04-12-2006
Shadowplay
I agree, you do need to read this a few times to absorb the content.

Excellent piece!

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Thanks very much for the comment. It seems you were absorbing it so much you commented twice!





disco (commenting by proxy)



EDIT: I hadn't thought that the double comment could be a moment of clarity, allowing us both our space to comment
(It's Si:-) he's nice like that - :o) xldx

flossieBee on 04-12-2006
Shadowplay
This is great ld and discopants.

It's dense with such vivid moments. I particularly like the cat choking on infidel moments on the cornerand the taxi clocks last laugh from the kerb.

It evokes perfectly darkness and seediness.



Author's Reply:
Thanks for the positive comment. Glad it was evocative- we were lookings for a dark, dramatic effect (I think).

Disco & littleditty

Ionicus on 04-12-2006
Shadowplay
Very, very, very good. Best of the lot so far unless the latecomers can come up with something better.
I can only echo the praises already given.

Author's Reply:
Twas a great challenge you set- and the poems are all interesting to read, knowing how they started out - good workshop challenge Luigi - littleditty and discopants are both very happy you think its a good one - thank you 😀 xxxldx

Zoya on 04-12-2006
Shadowplay
A brilliant co-write about Zen and the broken legs of id- on the alter of monogamy!
(((Hugs)))
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Dear Zoya -your comment is so interesting that i shall have to go and meditate! Zen and the broken legs of id- on the alter of monogamy! <------ wow, Where is disco? DISCOPANTS! Look what Zoya said! Thanks for your lovely comment :o) glad you enjoyed - xxxldx dpx

I'm here- I was hiding at the back of the class. You know, Zoya often tells me more about my work than I know myself. She's done it again with our poem, which is just as well as I didn't have a Scooby what it was all about.

dp

Bradene on 05-12-2006
Shadowplay
A clever idea and well written poem, took a few reads to sink in but then My old brain is a bit slow these days. Well done. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Dear Val - thanks for reading, it is still sinking in for me too - - whatever the story is, it is quite a dramatic little number - very glad you like it :o) xxxldx and discopants

Hazy on 08-12-2006
Shadowplay
Now me n Wolfie have subbed, I feel able to read and comment on the others!

Really liked this one. Some very atmospheric language and I especially liked:

A cat choking on infidel moments in a corner.
and
Clings grimly to fog-bound aspirations,

And yes, you definitely captured 'dark and dramatic'! The poem definitely worked for me.

Nice one 🙂

Hazy x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Haze. You've picked out one of littleditty's lines and one of mine so we 'll both be equally pleased.

dp & ld
x
(Hi Hazy - he put this little message to you in the wrong box -men eh? - that Shywolf must have been quite a handful *pffs*, thanks for commenting, glad you liked it :o) xx

discopants on 09-12-2006
Shadowplay
Thanks for commenting Haze. You've picked out one of littleditty's lines and one of mine so we 'll both be equally pleased.

dp & ld
x

Author's Reply:


Yet to gentle (posted on: 27-11-06)
prosepoem

There were a few times when nothing drove me to extremes, and there I found all that is lauded as important, and fought for it; began to be able to consider forever as something worn in a larger size. In case there is a tunnel of shadows leading to the light, I have counted how many handshakes and apologies I will have to make along the corridor, saving my strength for the weighted effort needed, to make things right: I am a hand shaker, and I wash feet, one after the other, a warrior who dusts with a feather, and wipes the slate clean. The line is long, and without the memory of other processions, I am surprised to feel so light in my disappearing shoes, this trailing dress becoming whiter at the sleeves. I am busy taking arms, washing feet, until I get to you. I suppose we have forever right here, to grieve. The weight of my apology opens a long locked, lost case in the attic. Knick-knacks appear in the naming of ornaments, sparkling to a vanish in the placing of souvenir bells, our clothes turning to specks of coloured darkness, our pictures all kissed and flying up like confetti. On my knees again, I ask you to walk the rest of the line with me, ahead are the smiling faces that always wished us well, and behind, the shades are nearly all slain dead. Again, the scene ends here. It is the shame taking all this time, to be quietly laid to rest, when hope is only that you are smiling; and faith, yet to gentle, may still gently lift my head. (-edited, thanks e-griff:)
Archived comments for Yet to gentle
Sunken on 27-11-2006
Yet to gentle
You write like a dream Ms. Ditty and I for one do not want to wake up (-:

s
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today he is wearing his superman pants

Author's Reply:
I seeeee - *looks stern* the sleepy munky at the back with his pants over his trousers wont wake up for one of my dreams eh? *casually writes Pink Detention slip*- so, Mr Supermunky, *gives the slip to goodygoody Wondergirl at the front* see you at 3.35, when you shall be writing lines - a poem on my desk by the time the sun goes down - which in this silly country *thats count-RY Rudi, so stop sniggering* is 3.55 - sharp. Thanks. xxxxxMs Ditty x

flossieBee on 27-11-2006
Yet to gentle
Hi!

The imagery here is intriguing. The handshakes and footwashing and particularly the trailing dress with its sleaves. Very tender too

fB x

Author's Reply:
Hello Ms Flossie, i am glad you are here. Trouble with SuperSunken and his pants today so i have set a detention, which you are welcome to attend - Shall we write a poem? This one is a bit trippy - glad you thought it tender, that's good! xxx

Kat on 27-11-2006
Yet to gentle
ld, I simply love this (too) along with so many of your others. The last paragraph is particularly strong and knowledgeable, and this line:

'the shades are nearly all slain dead.'

stuck out for me. It reeks of progress/insight etcetera! :o) Beautiful title too, which you have made into fact with your delicate poetic feather/tickling stick!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Yaaayyyy 😀 glad you like this one -wrote it yesterday and i am still wondering about the ending...possible faith and face at the end as a rhyme thing is tempting me........'.delicate poetic feather'----> :D- the warrior doing the dusting was infact carrying both a quill and a pink feather duster, but you spotted that i see, so i will have to get more tricky to keep you on your toes! thanks kat*nips to shop because forgot the chocolate at BUDGENS *for reading this one, snowballs in the freezer indeed...pffs..shouldnt knock it until ive tried it i suppose....:D xxxldx

e-griff on 27-11-2006
Yet to gentle
I like the 'naming of ornaments' in particular and the imagery on the piece overall

Small things: I'd suggest separating Knick knacks (or use a hyphen if you wish)

And instead of 'lorded' did you mean 'lauded'?

best JohnG



Author's Reply:
Hi John - i thought if you commented that you would pull me back to lord(ed)/lauded when i was checking the dictionary! and knick-knacks - it is usually hyphenated i think, but i wanted to hide my name better in it - i forget the line and why on earth, now though!......that was my thought passing when i wrote it! I will probably change both when i can look again fresh with editing eyes -thanks for pointing out these things, you are very helpful - glad you liked the imagery - i liked the naming of ornaments too -cheers John- xxldx Both changed now, sometimes the the dust has to be left to settle, before i can look again - thanksJohn xx

Zoya on 28-11-2006
Yet to gentle
You seems to be becoming an expert on prose poems. I am not particularly a fan of prose poems, but you make your texts so charming, I can't take my eyes or mind off them , once I have started reading them. They have a quality to suck you in... So, I suppose I am paying you a compliment!
(((hugs for another poetic- prose gem!)))
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading Zoya - i am really glad you feel that the ones you have read are engaging, thats great -and charming 😀 too - thank you! - your comments are always charming :O) and so encouraging, thanks a lot Zoya xxxldx

eddiesolo on 02-12-2006
Yet to gentle
You take my breath away Nicky...I love this.

Great imagery.

Clever LD 🙂

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
*blushes* - glad you liked it Si - thank you :o) xxldx


Return to Sender (posted on: 17-11-06)
prosepoem

My priorities are all wrong. You said I was an angel in the haze of the drugs that I am on. So I tried to put things in their right place; I boxed, enveloped, licked and stamped all the squares and pills I left around, but they have returned again as curled edges in the fog. I would like to say I am not lost. I stay home and find my hazy way around the clock until it strikes a poem or a chime; and even though transience is nothing to write home about, and a fixed abode is a straight-faced letterbox, I posted a poem to myself, to arrive on the cold morning after we sat up all night, when we watched the dawnlight cut the smoke exhaled; and hungry for fresh air, and morning sounds and places, popped out, to the cafe for a bleary breakfast, to the park, for some sun upon our pasty faces, and home to sleep just before the post comes round. I forgot what I wrote, and dreaming of the doorbell, I imagined that the little poem sent wouldn't fit through the slender purse-lipped slit, because it had grown so. Yet there it was, slipped through the box, at rest under the shelf, there again looking straight at me, but addressing someone else. So I take an indelible marker, trace last weeks snail mail pencil trail with ease. Next week, as poems are promises, I hope that we will speak. 'Return to Sender, please.' in bold and my best and shaky neat - and I am out, back to the laughing post-box, back to the cafe for a bleary breakfast; and forward, one step after another, to the park with the Marigold leaves.
Archived comments for Return to Sender
flossieBee on 17-11-2006
Return to Sender
I love the mood of this piece - laughing post box; tender pursed lipped slit.

It sounds like a good life with plenty of steps forward

fBxx

Author's Reply:
thanks fB - i like what it is saying but i am wondering about the style of these proseypoems - i think this one has mood and holds the attention, but there is something bothering me about it....good life except for going around in circles and bunking decisions - sound like someone you know?! pfffs! xxxnxx

Kat on 17-11-2006
Return to Sender
ld, another goodie I reckon - lots of energy and likeability - love:

'a fixed abode is a straight-faced letterbox,' :o)

'...until it strikes a poem or a chime...'

'...last weeks snail mail pencil trail...'

And especially love the ending - so (ultimately) optimistic, I thought:

'and I am out, back to the laughing post-box, back to the cafe for a bleary breakfast; and forward, one step after another, to the park with the Marigold leaves.'

You've a great knack - wonderful work.

Kat x



Author's Reply:
Glad you think so Kat-san, 'transience is nothing to write home about' -:D my favourite bit - not sure about this style for anything longer than a wee bit of flash, so i'll see - the ending is ultimately optimistic but the two steps back and one step forward can be a little frustrating! Thanks for your comments, little bit of flash now on the 'likeable' pile - i wonder about that and don't understand what is likeable and what is not -thanks for telling me xxxldxx

Sunken on 18-11-2006
Return to Sender
Hello Ms. Ditty. I also like that line the best, ref. 'transience is nothing to write home about'. Another classy write from a very classy Ukaneer. The Ditty did good, hardly news I know, but true all the same.

s
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k
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sacked from argos for riding the conveyor belt

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken -the ditty did good and is classy? i am sitting here in a benny hat though - they shouldnt have sacked you, you shouldve contacted your useless union rep. - but they've been sacked too i suppose. Viva la resistance - I was going to buy a jigsaw from them to cut the wood for the fire - shant now -have you had any troubles with Woolworths? Thanks sunky -i wouldnt know i dun good unless you told me - xxxditty x


Sunken on 18-11-2006
Return to Sender
No problems with Woolworths Ms. Ditty and I quite the sheep (or is it a lamb?) that they are using in their commercials. He/She puts me in mind of a lad I once knew named Steve who would do anything for an aniseed ball. I once got him to do all of my maths homework using this ploy but had to demand it back at a later date when I got a C minus. There is a moral here Ms. Ditty. When I work out what it is I shall forward it on to you.

s
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k
x

he can't look poodles in the eye

Author's Reply:
Woolies it is then, except for poodles - they are suspicious creatures - who is making you look them in the eye -its cruel i say - i'll think about the moral of the tail too, thanks sunk:o) xxxdittyx

Elfine on 18-11-2006
Return to Sender
Wow! The transience line stood out for me too. I loved it. I need to read it again!

Author's Reply:
Thanks elfine - that's good to hear, a wow especially so -thanks for reading 🙂 xxldx

Zoya on 19-11-2006
Return to Sender
Another Fascinating prose poem after the one with the 'Sari clad lady'... A very nice subject and a tight narrative, very very nicely put together!
(((Hugs for this lovely piece)))
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Thanks so much Zoya 😀 - i was wondering if i spelt Gujerati right in the other one? when talking about the place rather than the people, its pronounced more without the 'i' isn't it? Will you tell me if i made a mistake? I am glad you enjoyed this one - thanks for telling me xxxldx

eddiesolo on 22-11-2006
Return to Sender
Fine, fine piece LD!!

Well constructed, enjoyed immensely.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Si :)) Thanks for telling me you liked this one - i seem to be writing like this at the mo..hmm - where are the little poems gone to :o? Hope you are ok,Si -thanks for reading my ditty 🙂 xxxldx

e-griff on 23-11-2006
Return to Sender
Interesting format, nice meaning.

I gave my letter to the postman
He said he'd hurt his back
Bright and early next mornin'
I found he'd got the sack.

er, a tiny thing that wuzzled me was 'pursed-lipped' - my water tells me it should be purse-lipped or pursed-lip ... but then ...

best JohnG

Author's Reply:
HI John, reckon you're right, thanks, i wondered when writing it about pursed-lip - wondering also about the format -if a rhyme is too glaring, or it's all too tricky, i think the style gets in the way of it all -so i'm experimenting a bit...thanks for reading this one, Nicky x


Serita (posted on: 13-11-06)
prosepoem...

Serita, I say your sari is beautiful and you throw your eyes to the sky, laugh, push my shoulder but it is a beautiful turquoise; fades of coral and frayed golden threads snag the fiery sand. Spread out on Gujarati cloth, are end of season hometown wares: spiral shells and stories, t-shirts and tales. You flick antique beads of tiger-eye around my neck, call me friend and take my hand. It fits, so. Your jewels filigree towards me and we speak of craft; gems; gold, metal, women and men; of the silver clasps, loops and rings, stamped by authority at home. 'Is he a good man?' I ask, and you say softly, yes. For a moment, your almond eyes have the ocean in them, the fiery sand, and when you turn to me, I can see the green flecks of your back home mountain land. You are feline, elegant, and delicate, and a survivor of lives, an astute businesswoman sat in her beautiful rags. The shade has moved away from us. We spin the creaky palm umbrella, and a sand-sleepy tanned cow turns and yawns. ''No people again today, nothing. Only families of skinny cows, and they don't want my jewels!'' I try to smile, and for a second, I cannot imagine you bullied by anything, except nature. You need to buy pills for your Angina, and the worry in your eye is a secret. I feel the tourist appear in mine and look down, but you see it. ''For a traveller who frowns; this tiger-eye is old antique; worn bead for Shiva, and good. You will see what you will do, and me the same.'' She turns a bead. It is quiet here, together. Tonight there is a fire on the beach, and tomorrow, I catch my plane. I turn a bead. ''Yes, turn the bead, like that.'' she says, smiling.
Archived comments for Serita
Romany on 13-11-2006
Serita
Beautiful. So vibrant and full of colour and meaning. Just beautiful.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany -i'm really glad you liked it and found it full of meaning - that's great - i think there is some about decisions we make, and decisioins made for us in this one - the setting is Goa, India on the beach. Thanks for reading and a lovely comment 🙂 xxx

Apolloneia on 13-11-2006
Serita
You can give us excellent prose, I'm glad you decided to post this one here and elsewhere. Good work! xxxxx

Mrs A.

Author's Reply:
but i am still a bit shy with my prose Mrs A, the mayor told me she thought it was a good one otherwise it would have stayed in the machine. I like writing these, thanks nic 😀 xxx

Ginger on 13-11-2006
Serita
First prose I've read of yours. You should definitely post more. This is so full of colour and meaning. I could feel the heat coming off the sand.

Lisa

Author's Reply:
HI Lisa -thanks for reading, i'm glad you found it descriptive, i will try to post some more prosey bits and pieces -thank you :o) xxxldx

flossieBee on 13-11-2006
Serita

There's the filigree. I love the way that the descriptions of clothes and jewellery define the relationship. It reminds me of 'presents from my aunts.'

Author's Reply:
Aye -there it is -a word of metal, what we are made of, how did shakey put it? I miss those poems and the kids, but not quite enough 😉 what shall we do about it? Have you got a plan? Goa is nice this time of year, so's Bristol - Thanks Miss xxx

Sunken on 13-11-2006
Serita
Hello my lovely Little Ditty. This piece of yours puts me in mind of a nameless girl I once imagined. She left me in the end for a hairdresser in Bolton. Isn't that always the way? I wouldn't mind, but his fashion sense was terrible. I mean, who in their right mind wears braces with jeans? Anyway, that's not important right now. A classy litty ditty if ever I did read one. You might get tired of me saying how great you are, but I don't get tired of saying it. So I'm afraid that's just tough tittie. Well done on another top piece.

s
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so you think you're a turnip?

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken - tough tittie is fine with me, thank you for reading my ditties, turnips dont think, but i wouldnt want to hurt their feelings by asking such a thing, sorry to bring back memories of braces and jeans, sorry about that -hope you are alright over there munky, love to Rudi xxx

orangedream on 13-11-2006
Serita
After reading such a fantastic write, anything I could write would do it injustice. So the one word 'bootiful' will have to do. Hopefully I can't go wrong with that??!!

regards
Tina xx:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Tina - glad you thought it a bootiful one -thats great - thank you! xxx:o)x

Kat on 14-11-2006
Serita
ditty one, this is a gorgeous write - full of colour, life, perception, insight, and a great empathy for and with 'living'.

? need for the capital 'A' with angina. That's all I have to query - it's *definite* that you're a very good writer.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat -glad you think so. I'm shy with my prose - and i'm finding my way, these prosepoems are usually failed poems or uncomfortable prose, but it seems this one has something likeable about it - *definite...* - you are very kind Kat - is that part of my new mantra before i give it all up and join the circus? You are right about the angina, i think, ? it was like that in when in poem form and stayed there cos it felt an important word! 😀 should change it, thanks Kat xxxldx


littleditty on 14-11-2006
Serita
Hi Kat -glad you think so. I'm shy with my prose - and i'm finding my way, these prosepoems are usually failed poems or uncomfortable prose, but it seems this one has something likeable about it - *definite...* - you are very kind Kat - is that part of my new mantra before i give it all up and join the circus? You are right about the angina, i think, ? it was like that in when in poem form and stayed there cos it felt an important word! 😀 should change it, thanks Kat xxxldx

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 14-11-2006
Serita
Excellent littleditty. You say so much in just over 300 words and beautifully too.
No need to be shy when you can produce pieces like this.
Keep it up.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Hi Luigi - thank you - there are a few of these prose poems knocking about, trying to finish one now which is a bit longer - there are people who reckon this style is too much after a while so i kept this short as pos - might let the leash out a bit and see how it goes - very glad you liked this one - that's great 😀 xxldx


Split (posted on: 03-11-06)
little poem -

At some point, I fell in love with you and slowly, enticed by the idea of forever, for years, I sledgehammered breezeblocks into manageable chunks, and when the last gram of my struggle to be less wilfully alone placed myself on the scales I didn't see, the sword fell so swiftly, and now I have forever without you to know how I am sliced in two.
Archived comments for Split
scotch on 03-11-2006
Split
likeable...scotch

Author's Reply:
Thanks Scotch - i thought it was Thursday before i got your comment confirmation! I lost a day -thanks for helping me find it! xxldx

Sunken on 03-11-2006
Split
Hello Ms. Ditty. I meant to comment on this earlier, but I had an incident with a pillow that left me somewhat shaken. Uka isn't the same without your subs Ms. Ditty. This is one of your bestest in my tiny ickul opinion. The ending is to die for - or should that be 'to slice for'? Good to see you back Ms. Ditty. I know you never went away, but it felt like ya did.

s
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raised on bran flakes

Author's Reply:
Thanks Sunk - glad you thought its a good one -one of my best? i have piles 😮 - i shall pop it in the pile approved by primates - thank you very much for the 10 - i forgot to turn the button off, so thanks for upping my point score average, which is very much linked to my self e-steam, does that sound american? I have been a bit quiet, tis true - but i did have a look at your nuts, and cant fogret the sunkronised swimmers. Bless you munky xxditty x

orangedream on 03-11-2006
Split
Have to say, I'm a little preoccupied with the thought of Sunky's nuts. I guess - as is everyone on UKA. That aside - a sparkling little gem here little ditty. As yet - much neglected.

A brilliant write.

Lady Orange

Author's Reply:
Thank you Lady Orange - Sunky's nuts need attention, no doubt about it - i'm glad you think this is a good one, that's good to know 😀 xxldx

SugarMama34 on 04-11-2006
Split
Hiya littleditty,
This is a sadd piece of writing when loves goes when we least expect it, and it tells of a heart that hurts. Your words are clear and images strong. I liked this as it shows the tragedy of a love lost. I think small pices of this could be tightened a little bit more, to make this piece flow better and the emotions could come across more stronger to draw the reader in more to the writer's compassion. A good read though in all, that I liked but felt sadned by.

Cheers From Sugar. xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Sugar - yes thats it -you think it needs tightening to make it flow better so the emotions come across stronger, i'll look at this when i look again as i thought it needed the extra fat to feel gutted by the end! I will look - i think you are telling me that you felt i havent controlled the sadness and pain well enough for your reading -thanks for that - you aren't the first to say so! Not sure about drawing the reader in more to the writer's compassion, what you mean or whether i want to! Thanks for commenting and a refrshing 7 -i feel invigorated 😀 xxxldx

Dazza on 04-11-2006
Split
Neat, meloncholy, alone-it's a god shaped hole that is left! Go fill it! Great stuff, Dazza.

Author's Reply:
I am wondering about that Dazza! Thanks - may take another look at this one later -either that or watch the X Factor....leona is verrrry talented ... 😀 Lovely that you commented xxx

discopants on 04-11-2006
Split
I like it, particularly the ending. I think you could lose the words 'for years' without losing too much meaning but adding to the flow.

Author's Reply:
Hi Disco -thank you -yes, thats the fat - wanted it there because it is of other, older splits too - here it is without, trying to keep the shape

Split

At some point, I fell in love with you, and slowly,
enticed by the idea of forever, I sledge-hammered
breezeblocks into manageable chunks, and when
the last gram of my struggle to be less wilfully
alone placed myself on the scales I didn’t see,
the sword fell so swiftly,
and now I have forever
without you to know
how I am sliced in two.

Thanks for taking the time to comment, i'll keep tinkering - xxxld x

Kat on 04-11-2006
Split
ld, this is a powerful and insightful write - love the shape which looks like a bit is missing (which it is, I guess) = that's great. I really like your original up there on the 'Great Read' podium... personally, I don't think it needs any or much more fat.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat! Very glad you like it 😀 You vote for the one up up there? Great! I like the shape of that one better...yep -i got a sticker, first one for ages, i have been sticker free for weeks, what a rush *inhales* - thanks for commenting Kat-san, and for your encouragement, it has helped keep me afloat - cheers kat:o) xxldx

Zoya on 05-11-2006
Split
" I sledgehammered breezeblocks
into manageable chunks, "

I am left with a sense of loss, as if I am myself 'sliced into two' - how cruel can be one heavy, decisive blow of fate?

Heartfelt and really written from within the heart and soul...

((((Hugs,if that can make you feel better?))))

Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Thank you Zoya -a hug always makes me feel better! I'm fine -a little silver kitten arrived last night, and even with allergies etc, when all is weighed, who can avoid falling in love all over again under such circumstances? Thank you for seeing the heart in this, that lump of muscle seems to still be in working order, resilient little lump it is! Hope you are well - i just wrote something about a beach seller i met in Goa -i'm thinking the monsoons must be over now and the beach home-schooling program i nearly stayed for is probably starting up - the kids making sand sculptures and mosaics on the beach, dolphin spotting...its very cold here now and dark at 4.30 pm...*sighs*... India! xxx

flossieBee on 07-11-2006
Split
The image of breeze blocks is very striking. Moving, and a touch depressing.
x

Author's Reply:
Yeah, sorry about that! its the time of year! OMG i just thought of The Worms - viva la resistance!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx:o)

teifii on 08-11-2006
Split
I like this one, Ld. Like the use of metaphorical hardware -- very efective.
Would suggest 'me' instead of 'myself' if 'the last gram' is the subject of placed.
Also couldn't resist playing with the lines. Please excuse the liberty. Think I must be needing to get back to writing.
Daff

At some point, I fell in love with you,
and slowly,
enticed by the idea of forever,
I sledge-hammered breezeblocks
into manageable chunks,
and when the last gram of my struggle
to be less wilfully alone
placed me on the scales I didn’t see,
the sword fell so swiftly,
and now I have forever
without you
to know
how I am sliced in two.


Author's Reply:
Oh Daff -thank you for fiddling - i really am happy that you did, you are often my english teacher and point out things to make me look and and think again and this is great!! ..i think 'me' is much more personal - i think i thought 'my self' seemed like more of an object, to be weighed, so i will think about me/my self/myself now! thanks, and the edit reads really well - i was seduced by the shape of scales/weight and a chiselled breezeblock when writing it - you have given it more of the lightness of touch which i was after, thanks Daff 🙂 xxldx

Yutka on 08-11-2006
Split
Within a few words a whole world turns. The sadness touches and overwhelms. "I sledge-hammered breezeblocks" sounds for me very familiar. You know, if I could chose a favourite poet on this site, it would be you.
Yutka:)

Author's Reply:
Yutka - i am really touched by what you said, thank you very much 🙂 xxldx ...still smiling...:)...still...:o) x

Apolloneia on 08-11-2006
Split
Mrs A.

xxx

Author's Reply:
xxx:o) YaaaYyyyy! a 10 from Mrs A........which edit tho?....tum-ti-tum......thanks nic x

Rosco on 15-11-2006
Split
Where are you looking for eternity?

Author's Reply:
I'm here...and dizzy with such a question! 😀 pff xxxnx

BaBy_PoeT on 16-11-2006
Split
oohhh....Thats wicked lilD...i know were your coming from...!! well the poem anyways... it was a well right... i liked it a lot well actually very much... i hope you good and that... take care
xXx-B-P-xXx

Author's Reply:
*wasn't concentrating, posted in the wrong box again - detention for me-pfffs* Hi bP -you like this one? That's great, thanks for telling me. I'm ok, hope you are too and that college is working out well for you, its dark and colder -perfect weather for homework and libraries? 😀
xxxlilMsGxx

littleditty on 16-11-2006
Split
Hi bP -you like this one? That's great, thanks for telling me. I'm ok, hope you are too and that college is working out well for you, its dark and colder -perfect weather for homework and libraries? 😀
xxxlilMsGxx

Author's Reply:


'The House of the Tragic Poet' (posted on: 20-10-06)
On a clear summer's day, at lunchtime in Pompeii,

On a clear summer's day, at lunchtime in Pompeii, tiles must have rattled from the roof. Carefully constructed walls crushed intricate mosaic floors, sinking them down under ash. Then hot rain, deadly gas, and a hail of pumice stones the size of a plague. Vesuvius battered and smothered, shattered a world, engulfing this House of Art. Pictured through the door: CAVE CANEM, the grim black canine greets the visitor, as he would have done in August A.D.79. and again, in 1824, when they unearthed 'The House of the Tragic Poet', to hang a 'For Sale' sign on the door. They disturbed the graves of the suffocated, consumed most of its treasures. What is left? Just the shame, that for one hundred years they let the rest 'dissolve' out in the rain. So, I cannot describe the Theatre Mosaic at the centre of the Tablinum floor, a small 54 by 54 centimetered picture of actors rehearsing Satyrs backstage. Except there are some, swapping stories in the wings of the Naples Museum, set and prop designers reconstructing; and elsewhere, scientists and artists of all the crafts, recreate some of what is imagined to have been, before it was torn apart. Nicholas Wood - his book - 'La Casa Del Poeta Tragico'
Archived comments for 'The House of the Tragic Poet'
Zoya on 20-10-2006
The House of the Tragic Poet
It is so full of sorrow and empathy. Lovely piece of investigative journalism. A kind of pathos follows every line, as one reads on... There are so many house and lives, still buried under the rubble of volcanic ash, each with his own story, stilled in that fateful moment of time...
Thanks a pile for sharing this wonder, littleditty.
*Hugs*
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Thank you Zoya - investigative journalism is a good way to describe it! - i read the book mentioned and found it interesting - good to hear you found some pathos,empathy etc, i tried to edit it to be a smooth easy read, i didnt want it to sound cold at all, so i am glad that came through to you. It's got many feelings in it! Glad you enjoyed reading and thanks for letting me know your thoughts :O) xxxldx

wfgray on 20-10-2006
The House of the Tragic Poet
I have read about the Greek disasters. It reminds me of the Ebadan disaster when all thos schoolchildren were killed by the sludge from the pit heaps. Very sad. Will

Author's Reply:
Hello Will - thank you for reading, very sad indeed, when it is children especially so. Thanks for your comment. xxldx

orangedream on 21-10-2006
The House of the Tragic Poet
What else can I say but echo Deborah's voice or to put it less eloquently, I was gob-smacked. Smashing write.

Kindest regards,
Tina

Author's Reply:
Hello Tina - thanks for letting me know you like it, thanks a lot xxxldx

eddiesolo on 21-10-2006
The House of the Tragic Poet
Way to go LD!

This is a darn good write you clever thing you!

Enjoyed.

Si:-) would have given it a 10!



Author's Reply:
Thanks Si:-) i turned the button off again, random numbers dont mean nuffink, but a ten from you is lovely - thank you for reading, glad you like it xx:O)ldx

spongemonkey on 22-10-2006
The House of the Tragic Poet

Good write, sad and yet not. A shame it was torn apart and all that remain are memories of what once was so beautiful but that's life I suppose. Nice poem.

Author's Reply:
Hi spongemonkey - thanks for telling me what you thought, glad you liked it xxxldx

Sunken on 22-10-2006
The House of the Tragic Poet
Little Ditty, Little Ditty,
you are really sweet.
I like your poem more than... turnips.
Would you like a sweet...

I admit that my new Ditty Ditty needs major editing, but I think you can see where I'm going with it. In the end you call the police because I won't stop harassing you with promises of pear drops and liquorish all-sorts. I always liked the ones that were covered in those beady type things. Why am I talking of the all-sort in a past tense? Berty would never forgive me. Is this your most useless comment to date Ms. Ditty? I do apologise. I'll shut up. Top, as ever. Thanks.

s
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raised by the shed

Author's Reply:
Promises promises - pear drops and Berty's all-sorts? As long as the police manage to get the real thing, not those fruity imitations, i don't mind - your poem is fine as it is, and ps. we shared the beady type ones, so where's the problem? Thanks for reading this ditty, you are a luvely munky xxxditty x

Kat on 22-10-2006
The House of the Tragic Poet
ld, what I like so much about much of your poetry (and this one in particular) is that the reader is always rewarded with a dense artistry of form, shape, content and intellect. You have a long attention span (is the best way I can put it) when it comes to poems - there's never anything flyaway or banal seeping out of your tight constructs... ooh er. ;o)

A very deserving nom!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Kat - ooh er, and oh wow too - thanks..you are responsible for a cheesey grin and i will get too big for my boots - i can have a long attention span over a short time for poems, tis true, but its usually a one night stand kind of thing! writing a novel? *mind boggles* Thank you for reading Kat - you are helping me try and figure what to look for in the darn things as i'm editing, so thank you very muchly xxxldx


a poem about ears (posted on: 13-10-06)
poem

Who is listening, to what another has to say? One in a million is a good pair of ears drinking slow sips in the pauses of the every day. So full of our selfish-selves, mostly all that is displayed is a vulture's capture of a corpse, revived for rapacious ears awaiting instant sound bites. Easy to latch a beak around the meat of what one wanted to say in the first place. When I talk, it really is to a brick wall. On the same deafness, peaceful or angry words will fall. So I speak less and less, until my muteness nods in agreement with itself and I practise the art of hearing like a novice. Reading is where it is at finding voices that slip the barricade. The years shrivel the will to hear the same, over and over and over again; except for a certain song from the distant past, or the understanding voice of a big eared friend; except the words that slip the chinks I chisel with my quiet hammer, to let you in.
Archived comments for a poem about ears
Sunken on 13-10-2006
One in a Million
I've noticed that people don't listen much these days too Ms. Ditty. I may learn sign language. How do you sign 'Turnip' I wonder... or Pot Noodle... it can't be easy. Classy write, as ever Ms. Dittster of Dittyville.

s
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that little plop of poo that you just can't flush away

Author's Reply:
Annoying, isn't it munky of big ear fame? Dittyville would be a better place, ney the hole world, ears and all with a real good flush. I think you just sign t.u.r.n.i.p but i'm sure there are some colloquial gestures for things like Pot Noodle - thanks for telling me its a classy write - i'm trying different things, learning to sign is something i always wanted to do -hope all is well in munkyland 🙂 xxxldx

Kat on 14-10-2006
One in a Million
ld, there's a lot to like here, particularly:

'Easy to latch a beak around the meat
of what one wanted to say in the first place.'

'...finding voices that slip the barricade.'

'or the understanding voice of a big eared friend,'

? should that be 'practise', the verb, in the last line of stanza 2.

Wondered about, 'Reading is where it is at...' as this is a tad commonplace - ? say something a bit more definite and powerful because reading is indeed where it is at! :o) But you know your intention, my friend.

Another very fine write from your poetic pen.

Kat x






Author's Reply:
what? you have big eyes too? Practise *tuts* - i will have another go with this one, and i think you are right - i wrote it quite quickly and the lines are longer... - voice and rhythm seem different.from what i usually come up with...needs editing when i look again, and i will think about that line, it is all in the reading <---- ? i'll think on it! - thanks Kat xxldx

eddiesolo on 19-10-2006
One in a Million
Hi LD,

I liked this especially the last stanza.

Good write.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
HI Si - Thanks for popping in -interesting you like the last, i like the middle - i dont know - it is perhaps fodder for a poem! Ive been writing lots of different things, reading too -liked your jam jars very much 🙂 Thanks Si xxldx


The Laughing Buddha (posted on: 13-10-06)
all crit welcome :o)

I only wonder if the Laughing Buddha sat on the kitchen surface had reminded her to be joyous, or if she was spontaneously floating to another cloud of smiles, just by fleeting glances at the fat face with a grin. Cheerfulness takes enormous effort, especially in the mornings. Expending all that energy controlling oneself, taming tendencies; and then expecting the exchange of pleasantries overlooking the clich of a freshly laid patio, well, it's an awful lot to ask for, I think. On a sticky hangover, reaching for the coffee equipment, swallowing liquids and capsules on an empty stomach, I have nothing to say to the exuberant face by the sink, so I stink and look away. I only wonder why she didn't take it with her. After all, she had hired a van-and-a-fat-man to leave me. And it really did look like him (which, by the way, is why I haven't taken a hammer to it. I think this is restrained, gentlemanly even. It's not right to destroy somebody else's thing, which is why, afterwards, I took back the van.) The beaming fat-faced-fucker had better stop telling me to chill out, sitting there by the draining board, smug as putrefied stone can be, and before I have even had my first cup of coffee. I fill the kettle. I'm really not in the mood today, either. I have tried covering him up, but the tea towel would move; it 'tittered' if you like, and became somewhat damp with Laughing Boy's tears running down his swollen cheeks. I tried moving him to other rooms, but the shock of finding him there, grinning from ear to ear, was disquieting to say the least. I prefer to confront all this, only in the kitchen overlooking the patio, since you and your fat man friend came by to pick up your Buddha. While the kettle boils, I look out of the window. It is quite a central feature now. I always thought it was meant as a water feature, which I would have made for you, if we had decided on the decking for the garden. Your Laughing Buddha, crying real tears on delicate plants. Instead, the fixed grin now sat out on top of the concrete patio can look quite sad, manic even but sometimes I still catch a twinkle in its eye when it rains. If it weren't sat cross-legged, perhaps it would dance or run away. Laughing Boy on the draining board however, stinks, and his smug-stone-hearted-grinning-fat-face reminds me to be joyous. After my first cup of coffee and some attempt at meditation, I only wonder if perhaps he sometimes catches a twinkle in mine.
Archived comments for The Laughing Buddha
Romany on 13-10-2006
The Laughing Buddha
Ooh er, nasty! If I read it right, which I think I did. Nice work.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany 🙂 I think you read it right! its a bit nasty -i dont know what posessed me but i thought i'd write a bit of prose, starting with the Laughing Buddha and ending up...here! Oh dear! I am wondering if it is not clear enough though - trying to get that right is tricky! Thanks for reading - glad you think its ok xxldx

juliet on 13-10-2006
The Laughing Buddha
i had to read this a few times before i got it, and thats not necessarily a bad thing i like writing that challenges me. But i think it could do with a little more clarity, I'm still not sure i entirely got it (the new patio and the fact they came to collect the Buddha that is still there means...) i am right aren't I?

But i remain a little confused about the Buddha on the patio - the two or is it three confuse me. I don't want to spoil it for others so if you have no idea what i am trying to ask please email.

But i did love the whole idea and the wonderful attention to detail, your poetic voice comes out well in prose.

Author's Reply:
pfff - i put the reply to you in the wrong box - that teach me to answer comments at this time of the night/morning *tuts* here it is, and if makes no sense i will explain mysef tomorrow in a more sober condition! : Hi Juliet -i found it tricky to know how much to tell and when etc - i think it may be needs another look at how the story reveals to the reader with fresh eyes tomorrow - her laughing buddha that was on the kitchen surface is now on the patio, she is under the patio, narrator killed her and the fatman lover (Laughing Boy) when they came by for her Laughing Buddha -Laughing Boy, his severed head on the draining board (i am suddenly a little worried about my state of mind...) how can i make it clearer? :o) I am attempting some prose bits and pieces - any tips for a beginner at this tricky prose malarkey would be much appreciated! - thanks Juliet 😮 Nicky

:

littleditty on 14-10-2006
The Laughing Buddha
Hi Juliet -i found it tricky to know how much to tell and when etc - i think it may be needs another look at how the story reveals to the reader with fresh eyes tomorrow - her laughing buddha that was on the kitchen surface is now on the patio, she is under the patio, narrator killed her and the fatman lover (Laughing Boy) when they came by for her Laughing Buddha -Laughing Boy, his severed head on the draining board (i am suddenly a little worried about my state of mind...) how can i make it clearer? :o) I am attempting some prose bits and pieces - any tips for a beginner at this tricky prose malarkey would be much appreciated! - thanks Juliet 😮 Nicky

Author's Reply:

juliet on 14-10-2006
The Laughing Buddha
The only thing i didn't decipher was the head in the kitchen, i though the lovers head was on the patio like a grotesque water feature, and the one in the kitchen was the real thing (made of stone), its presence to act as a clue to what had taken place.

I don't think it needs tons, just a little more clarity with what is where. Too m uch and you will spoil the slow reveal.

Author's Reply:

Kat on 14-10-2006
The Laughing Buddha
Just wrote a longish comment and lost it. *sulks, trys again, prises it into a nutshell*

A bit more clarity would be good as juliet suggests, but you've got a very good piece here with some great language use.

Like that intriguing opening para and the 1st line of para 2; 'taming tendencies' is good as is, 'the cliche of a freshly laid patio' and 'The beaming fat-faced-fucker...' is wonderful!

Good stuff, dittyone!

Kat x

Author's Reply:

Flash on 22-10-2006
The Laughing Buddha
Dear Potty Dotty.

Never judge a writer by their cover!!!

Thinking you a sweet and innocent thing, i ambled along with this piece, thinking it was the sad reflective reminisce of a lonely guy pining for a departed lover. And very enjoyable it was too.

But i missed all the macabre murder references, because i wasn't expecting this kind stuff from you. but Alle ist Klar now.

So my final thoughts after reading again and the comments are... that it's a very lean mean piece of writing. Tweaking it might improve it, but i like it the way it is.

I missed all the subtle points, probably because I'm male, stoopid and it's quite early on a Sunday morning.

xxxxxxx
Flashy.

Author's Reply:
HI Flashy - you think i am sweet and innocent? Yes, yess - i am...tis true...i have never murdered or stolen another man's woman -it must be the Halloween masks in the shops -lot of spooky horror in the air! I dont know about the subtle points - thats why i will listen to you, Kat and Juliet and have a go at tweaking just a little bit. Wanted it to be clear and not clear, but clear, see? pff, hard this prose business, you do first person narrative writing very well Mr Pants, so i'll read some more of yours - I havent looked again yet - will in a few days - thanks for all those kisses xxxxxxxldx


8 Prawns (poem version) (posted on: 06-10-06)
edit

I need 8 prawns from the nets - not hawking or for hawking as such, as I'll have earned them, pulling on the ropes. It'll not be scraps, stolen, fingers chased away by 'That's enough now, it's 30 of us pull in the catch.' No, when I cook for you, I will tell of my day, cutting the onion, large and fresh, stinging real good, because one fat prawn bought it, (one ring for every years experience in the market. She unpeeled me for it, hard, but agreed a coriander handful and a clove of garlic if I sweep the coconuts from her yard.) I will cut the top and pour the water; tell you of the nets, how they pulled so to the arc of the boat; 2 lines, 15 strong, people running, silver weight jumping. They are excited - to them, fishes are coins; for me, 8 prawns: for this wood at my back; for one fat Tiger: (costly - too nice for spice and just enough rice.) One King for his supper and we'll have the wine she makes from cashew and one sprig of thyme, and so I pull; I am pulled in a perfect wave of knowing how heavy weighs the daily you also have to do, easy as sea eagles to tell you when you ask, 'So, why three for me, and only two for you?'
Archived comments for 8 Prawns (poem version)
Kat on 09-10-2006
8 Prawns (poem version)
ld, the bits Tai-Li has high-lighted work really well for me too, and her comments about your poetry... I can only concur!

This is a fat, dense, juicy poem which takes some 'peeling' - there are layers, skilfully lined, which much of your work has. I struggled a bit trying to work out all the numbers and their significance (I'm bad with numbers) 🙁 and I also wondered about the 'she' - is the second 'she' different from the first 'she'?

Other than these personal queries (which didn't detract from my enjoyment of your poem) as I could go with its flow... the language, metre, rhyme scheme shows a class act at work! Perhaps not the most accessible of your poems, but that could just be my denseness, and the enigmatic quality of your work is another appealing factor (NPI). :o)

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat - I would have changed the first she to he -but that woman in the market was definitely female - a dilemma, because in this one, the fisher has actually got love right i think! and the maths! What a dood! So - even though there are two shes, i promise the fisher is faithful to the woman at the end and loves her very much. A more complete, faithful love relationship than the Voices in the Studio 1 poem, even the last voice - the Prawn fisher dood is not 'happily bereft' - here, happy, all hers, working hard for her and their relationship. Ah! The counting/scoring thing - couples do that, often have different scoring systems too, which is where resentments can come from! Of course, one being a slack, lazy, unappreciative, demanding type and taking advantage of the other in a relationship is where resentments come from - but here, i think they have got it right - and prawns in coconut milk, coriander, spice, rice and wine with someone you love is always something to work towards - there was a feeling at the end about what daily tasks she also has to do to make ends meet -i wanted to suggest something there that i dont think is there anymore -that what she might have to do is much harder than pulling ropes for fish - and perhaps thats also why she gets the extra prawn - so when Tai-Li is not looking i might still fiddle with the end *shhh*:D Thanks Kat *looks up* 😮 i've rambled on and on!! What did i say?! And what are NPIs? No Prawns In Sight??? Oh...better press the button - toodle pip Kat 😀 xxxldx

Kat on 09-10-2006
8 Prawns (poem version)
Now that is a very illuminating answer to my queries, ld - I'm loving that prawn thesis! ;o) And yes, the goals in this poem are well worth striving for! No prawns in sight? No way - that would just be too horrible to contemplate - NPI = no pun intended - twas my meaning re 'appealing'.

Tattybye

Kat x

Author's Reply:


Beyond the walls (posted on: 06-10-06)
poem

They were born to the very circumference of the city, on a Ring Road or a Greenbelt encircling. Now they look straight ahead, to be caught suddenly, by a signpost they cannot read. Occasionally at the lights, they look back, wondering who am I in the very place that they found themselves lost. We remember each other younger, faces that smiled a goodbye - nice to see you, kiss and at the door, when we were given 3D maps made of glass, we thought, 'Who needs windows in a house like this?' Except the whirlwind of lives passing by, so quickly disorientated; and dizzy, looking down no one tips a hat and says 'Good morning' no one looks to always find beauty. In ugly moments, through windscreens, they might not catch a child running on a chink of green, a silent one, kicking a ball, passing it. Or the rope swing, stacking river-damns and waterfalls across a winter brook, amplified nights, campfire mushrooms, whooshing in the woods. Beyond the sprawling walls of buildings is the truth, they are all empty, where we found each other, up on the Common, in the parks and playing fields of youth.
Archived comments for Beyond the walls
Kat on 07-10-2006
Beyond the walls
Hello Ms dotty! ;o) I'm not much good at giving you crit because I mostly always like what I see in your poems, and feel I get their intention (in my own way). This is no exception. Really like:

'no one tips a hat and says ‘Good morning’
no one looks to always find beauty.'

which seems pivotal to the piece, to me. And I really like the ending of 'truth' resonating with 'youth' in the last 2 stanzas.

Kat x



Author's Reply:
Hi Kat -thanks for commenting -i was thinking about how empty the parks often are, how much freedom we had - where are the kids? Its funny how in city/suburban parks and woods people smile and say hello as they pass, and on the streets its eyes down and mind your business. I was thinking about old friends too, and what we had in common...anyhow -cheers for reading 😀 xxxl'dottyx

Sunken on 07-10-2006
Beyond the walls
Hello Ms. Ditty. I tried commenting earlier but the site went all weird on me. It seems to happen a lot when I come to comment on you and I am wondering if Richard is maybe working on that anti-sunken filter? I think I read this on abc earlier in the week, or was I dreaming? If it was a dream, it was a nice one. Of course, you don't get this kind of in-depth critique on abc Ms. Ditty, so I hope you'll stick around. I may go and get some toast now. Thanks.

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somethings in the house

Author's Reply:
-*this kind* of in depth critique can only be found here - and i thank you for it. i thought there was a ditty filter at work. I like cherries but toasts are very nice too - Cheers munky xxxx

orangedream on 07-10-2006
Beyond the walls
It's always difficult to follow Sunky - which this afternoon, I seem fated to do. Not that I'm complaining mind.

A brilliantly written poem - atmospheric and thought provoking.

kind regards
Lady Orange xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Lady Orange, it must be Autumn for such a poem to appear! When we were kids we would build fires in the woods, a band or two - one called 'Woosh' - ah! memories! Thanks for visiting, glad you liked this one xxditty x


Points of View (posted on: 29-09-06)
poem

The slats, scenic backdrops a plenty for one life, will lift or slide the moving panorama of moments, marking each instant or occasion with importance. The enormous artistry fixed in views, minute portions of the transcendent, setting the scene. These sublime slices will flick-book moments of eternity whether outside on the pavement, treading the boards or sat alone in a comfortable chair. You deviated, a random variable to their fixed value, and she thought you were mean. When the momentum of her absence is felt in each scene, and you cannot find her there or anywhere, forget all other points of view; who is running down colonnades, falling through squares, smashing immense slats, warped enough to want you sat, on a park bench, panning into insignificance, the September rose garden, the fireworks on a blue sky.
Archived comments for Points of View
Sunken on 29-09-2006
Points of View
Ditty, I do believe that you have this writing lark sorted and no mistake to be sure. This is another piece that needs to be read again and again, a good thing if you ask me... thing is, no one ever does ask me. I think it's the scowl, puts people off.

Regards and turnips,

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down in the park with a friend called webb

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - you gave me a tenner? This is lovely, glad you had a read again and again, glad you liked this one 🙂

Do you think turnips would be nice roasted in Marmite and butter? I am thinking its probably too much of a good thing. Will let you know xxxldx

Sunken on 01-10-2006
Points of View
Have you tried Marmite flavoured crisps by Walkers yet? They are very nice. I have written to Mr and Ms Walker and requested they get a move on with regards to a turnip flavoured crisp. I shall keep you informed Ms. Ditty.

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it must have been years

Author's Reply:
No i haven't, i was a bit suspicious but i'll try them. Turnip flavoured walkers are just around the corner surely? Have you tried other crisps made from other root vegetables? posh crisps? sweet potatoe etc? One day we'll have our turnips - good luck with the campaign, add my name xxxlittleditty x


to the warm charcoals of the soil (posted on: 29-09-06)
rewrite

1 Was a hurricane here, or a war, leaving gaping craters where trees once lined the avenues? Walls are built to fall, but these roots were 'ripped untimely' from a womb of soil: Gone; our Earth invaded, our friends snatched. Now the Earth is the Moon, the Moon is Venus hit, Venus is Mars with all the fire of men. 2 I walk our woodland route, under the tarmac, and tread abandoned tracks. Silent freight lines are lost to nature's bed and gaping craters are fresh filled graves covered by nature's year - and yet, hydrangeas. Even now, hydrangeas flower: blue ultraviolet and pink infrared, their litmus paper petals first white, then acid or alkaline, falling with the earth's colours, to the warm charcoals of the soil.
Archived comments for to the warm charcoals of the soil
Kat on 29-09-2006
to the warm charcoals of the soil
The apocalyptic images and feel to this poem are very well-rendered. The line:

'Venus is Mars with all the fire of men.'

seemed pivotal. And your ending:

'The gaping craters are fresh filled graves
covered by nature’s year - and yet, hydrangeas.
Even now, hydrangeas flower:
blue ultraviolet and pink infrared,
their litmus paper petals first white,
then acid or alkaline,
falling with the earth’s colours,
to the warm charcoals of the soil. '

is wonderful, hopeful.

Kat x





Author's Reply:
thanks Kat - bit of revival, an old one i snipped, needed a pruning - glad you enjoyed - when i subbed it last time Rosco suggested 'with' instead of 'and' in the Venus line, and i like it better, might need another go with it, it's a perennial one! glad you like the ending xxxldx

eddiesolo on 18-04-2007
to the warm charcoals of the soil
LD, only one comment on this! Why?

This disturbed me and all I could think about was the foolishness of man. Yet I also saw the beauty of mother nature healing and covering the wounds.

I don't know if I'm in the right zone but whatever the meaning was for you it is a wonderful, structured piece, and deserves more than just the comments of Kat and a rambling fit git 🙂

Another great write and I'm pleased that I came to inspect and dust off your older pieces.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Dear Si:-) thank you for bringing me back to this one - i've read it again now and i needed to - it's one of my perennials that i skipped this spring, as i think i said to Kat, very old one, keeps coming along, i edit a bit - you got it on the button - i had some friends, great young trees with long tracks stretching ahead of them, oh dear..teary... HIV, drugs, mental health - very recently the one who we hoped would make it, took his life on those tracks -i was talking about him with a friend yesterday early hours - but as you say, nature earth and the balancing of those litmus petals is where the poem is - lets drink to Life Si, cheers for doing some dusting, i should have been here myself today -THANK YOU xxxnx


Virginia Woolf (posted on: 22-09-06)
*

One stone in your pocket must have been for Vita, the one you dance through a century of leaves, falling for her, waiting in the mud-grass of home. Did someone call you a Pointillist writer, each ball of light weighed in mass? I am afraid they painted impressions of you, pointless really, flecks left out; Mrs Dalloway without Sackville-West, too much amber filter on the banks of the river, too little red. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vita_Sackville-West (a female writer, lover, and long term friend of Woolf)
Archived comments for Virginia Woolf
Apolloneia on 22-09-2006
Virginia Woolf
Hey look who's back, it's Marshall not so slim Shady Lady Kumu.


One stone in your pocket
must have been for Vita,
the one you dance through
a century of leaves, waiting
in the mud-grass of home
falling for her.

Did someone call you a Pointillist writer, each ball
of light weighed in mass?

I am afraid they painted
impressions of you,
pointless really, flecks left out;
Mrs Dalloway without Sackville-West,
too much amber filter on the banks of the river,
too little red.

(Basically I am here to surprise you with the word basically which is the anti-intellectual word -- the intellectual word is "However" and basically it is a very irritating word.)

Is the HUGE poem you've written here too?




Author's Reply:
I like it, this edit from Apolloneia - falling for her needs to be before the mud i reckon - bottom of the river and the picture of Vita waiting outside her home in the mud - original cover for Orlando, basically; however -i have a few more edits, one where i left falling for her where it was originally, but your version layout -and its true - the first bit needs help, call a doctor! xxxnx

Apolloneia on 22-09-2006
Virginia Woolf
Probably just paying a visit today. I am glad that more people have joined UKA and there are a lot of new talented writers here. Why call a doctor? Never mind, you can tell me in an email. Toodlepip!
xxxnx

Author's Reply:
ok - Toodleloo xxx here's one, like yours. I liked the original block as the river though, but i'll fiddle today with ideas

One stone in your pocket
must have been for Vita,
the one you dance through
a century of leaves,
falling for her, waiting
in the mud-grass of home.
Did someone call you
a Pointillist writer, each ball
of light weighed in mass? I am afraid
they painted impressions of you,
pointless really, flecks left out;
Mrs Dalloway without Sackville-West,
too much amber filter on the banks of the river,
too little red.


Zoya on 23-09-2006
Virginia Woolf
Oh, I love, Virginia Woolf and her style of 'stream consciousness'. Mrs. Dalloway is an all time favourite. What I particularly like about her writings is that she, like Dostoevsky, uses her own illness to give life to her characters. For instance, the character of Septimus, where he talks to the birds, was based on her own experience of aural and visual hallucinations of Schizophrenia.
I must confess, was not aware of her lesbian relationship with Vita or Sackville West ...
Thanks for a very empathetic write about Virginia Woolf.
((hugs))
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
HI Zoya, very happy you thought this an 'empathetic write' - - these little pics of famous folk i am having a go with, i don't know lots and lots about them or their careers - it's more something that catches my interest, and associations are taken from there. Thanks for your interesting ideas about her and her writing - i am going to have a reread of Orlando and another go with To the Lighthouse as i found them at the bookshop today for 1.99 - oh happy happy day! 😀 Hope you are well over there -i missed Goa today, its getting colder here! xxx

Zoya on 23-09-2006
Virginia Woolf
'Stream of Consciousness ' I mean. Sorry for the Typo!

Author's Reply:
yeah -i like that kind of writing - to write it - is great, whether it is great to read is another thing altogether! Thinking about this at the mo. Cheers!

Kat on 25-09-2006
Virginia Woolf
Another poem of yours, littleditty, that I can only admire: great poetic sensibility + intellect/insight + style = your work!

Kat x



Author's Reply:
Dear Kat, i've been smiling for ages - what a lovely thing to say, thank you so much - i'm happy you liked this one. (I'd better bank some of these smiles for a rainy day...thanksthanksthanks:o) xxxldx

barenib on 26-09-2006
Virginia Woolf
littleditty - I don't know quite as much about Virginia as I'd like to, but I can tell that this is a very thoughtful piece about her legacy. The line about her being called a pointillist writer is fascinating and has made me want to read her some more. A very good read - John.

Author's Reply:
Hello John - me neither and i am going to have another read of her - I cant remember what i said already on the page -but Orlando, a short brill book, main character was based on Vita Sackville-West and the original cover was her, in the mud outside her home - the Pointillist idea, Woolf's sister was a Pointillist painter and her writing style, well - i'm going to read some of her stuff and think about that too! - glad you liked it, thanks a lot for commenting - nicky x


Picasso (posted on: 22-09-06)
:

An earthquake, and another to remind him of the first; another, and the lop of his stomach, the floor sucked out of it, shaken; and slices of life hang, speeding towards a falling earth, the temper of the bounce back tremor, the ripple, but an absence of curves. Then the womb in the hills, his mother giving birth in a shadowy cave, angled walls, a diamond treasure, a sister in pigment before bedtime. Dreams shape a collage of resurrection, waking to a lifetime, colouring out in the shade.
Archived comments for Picasso
Apolloneia on 22-09-2006
Picasso
*attempting to write in amazing English*:

Miss Nicky i think your editing efforts have really paid off here!

*process: failing to write in amazing English or to be sure on the matter.*

Author's Reply:
I gave up on it and tossed it aside in a huff, what does it say? No I remember what but not how, will read again - i've been looking at his pictures, amazing - *waits for amazing poem in english - to be sure on the matter* thanks for visiting - *brrrr* its real quiet around here sometimes *shivers* xxxnx

Sunken on 22-09-2006
Picasso
You have written another slab of classic Ditty here Ms. Little and no mistake to be sure. I especially like -

angled walls, a diamond treasure,
a sister in pigment before bedtime.

Congratulations on the nib. Please be careful Ms. Ditty if pining all of these accolades onto your swimming costume. I fear the weight could lead to drowning. I would hate to see that happen as you are a very much loved member of uka. Thanks.

s
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desperately seeking detention

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunky - so you think this is a good one? I'm trying to get better at working out which ones are good ones - this one got me in a bit of a huff the other night and we've not spoken since. (re accolades weight and drowning, please see other poem,:O) thanks.

D
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xxx

Ginger on 22-09-2006
Picasso
Really liked this, I'd love to know exactly what this means. Has he been told she's pregnant, or some other earth shattering news (from his perspective)? Whatever the reason, the poem is sharp and evocative.

Lisa

Author's Reply:
Hi Lisa -glad you like it - his 1st sister was born when he was 3, birth registered 3 days after severe earthquake, devastation and shocks -the family evacuated to the hills/'cave', where she was born, traumatic? - 3 years later,when he was 6, his 2nd sister was born, reminder? He was ill and refused school at this age, other details forgotten - it was from these details that i remembered, that i wrote this one! Thanks Lisa!


Studio 1 (posted on: 15-09-06)
voices 1/2/3/4 'We are on strings, bringing down the volume on a sliced up quartet.'

Studio 1 1 You are blatant ripples of curiosity in your tentacle search for my nakedness. My sex is laying down soundproof tracks. I am wearing my body hard across my shyness while I listen to your music; your vocals are looping ribbons around my faade. I cast each pore in a coat of disinterest and watch you examine my skin; you want to touch with the same impulse I have for petals of silk. When you retract like we do from everything waxed my honey staccato voice may be clipped but sampled from a clandestine pouring of lyrical milk. As we are here to make a song, I lay down a riff. My curled finger wags from the fret, cutting the feedback from the suite. It's a wrap but we stay editing, calm metallic buttons adjusting the pitch. We are on strings, bringing down the volume on a sliced up quartet. I am cello, bass notes, raw and tinned; the drummer tucked out of sight behind this shaking kit, the noise static, to stop you hear the doubling up in a single take of the echo of desire in my ear. It's a wrap. I would wear your voice in consonance, or listen for the split second of its absence, fading to black. 2 I am not there, you know, a recorded voice looping around a sagging shed in the garden, ribboning over coffee cups and penicillin, your dust, those spiders, and an 8-Track full of dreams. My song lives somewhere else, love, as a soundtrack strumming to something very simple in the yellow of a clean kitchen; kids snug, tucked up; and me humming, packing lunches without the desire to retrace one step, or purely edit a life into bytes. Each day passes in the exact way it was meant to, some hidden, living the illusive first-take that I could never make with you. 3 He is an artist and I fell in love with his composition. His complete oblivion to me, made me feel like a girl again, twirling a baton handed down by the wrong hand. The faster I run, the heavier it is on my back, carrying a vaulting bar as I am sprinting down the track. He mixes me up, and in a hop, skip and a jump, I could be flying through the dusty shelves, falling for his metronome hands that slide the metal bars to just the right height. I am all expectations, with an easy stride, moving nonchalantly to the next set of lights. I am a lion's song with him, and he is a circle of flames. When my voice soars, he wraps a blanket around his frame. 4 One more dance in the extra curricular time of our lives and I am happily bereft without you here next to me, knowing that these words do not mean I love you any less, than if you were humming each morning downstairs, a dressing gown, with 'Hers', in ribbon around your neck. My day is spent in waiting, and throughout the ordinary tick tock you blossom from the radio in furtive ballads, you are my soft, wilful intent, that sees me through the sludge, our erotic notes becoming fugitive, kept, wrapped in the tin box that I call 'Love'. There is nothing unrequited, we are recording the curve and I am happily bereft, with exactly what it is I deserve.
Archived comments for Studio 1
Sunken on 15-09-2006
Studio 1
Dear Ms. Ditty, this piece of yours conjures up thoughts in my mind that might be best left there. I can't help it if I'm easily led (-; If I promise to be good, can I follow you around like a little dog. I'm house trained and promise not to make a mess. What am I on about Ditty? This really is a great piece and should be nibbed. I may just paint a nib on my screen for affect. Well done Ditty.

s
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k
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he's very obedient

Author's Reply:
Hi sunky - isnt is lovely and sunny today? Thanks for reading this one - a lot of words in it with all these voices chatting on - its an experiment, set myself a little challenge, thinking of radios - glad you liked it, as for the nib - its a mystery isn't it, so always a surprise. Thanks munky. xxxditty of little fame x

Kat on 16-09-2006
Studio 1
Absolutely fantastic poetry, ld! The talent, the sounds, the skill, the intellect, the sensitivity, the sensuality, but most of all THE WISDOM of this poem screams out at me.

Adored:

'his metronome hands that slide
the metal bars to just the right height.'

and your final stanza - WOW! How I ditto its premise. (eh?) I'm confusing myself with my comments again! ;o) It is hopeful/optimistic/nostalgic/healed/healing:

'...and I am happily bereft...' and its repeat = epiphany.

You are such a REAL poet! This is a phenomenal read!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Kat - thank you so much - i am totally happy that you got so much out of this one - i tried to write 4 voices in a day, umm thursday, with more of a drama/radio head on me - fortunately i have just been to a Bad Manners gig and slam danced all night with the fatty boys and girls, always recommended after a writing session, and your comments have topped even Buster Rhymes and the can-can at the end. Brava! *applauds* When i am sober, i will come back to your comment and check if i can stop grinning - because i didnt know if anyone would get this in such a fabulous way as you have -glad glad glad you did -hooorah! nicky x (the morning after: hi Kat, thanks for the pm - i lost the links for manchester from the forum:( could you send them again and a new pair of knees please? Going to read this one again, needs editing, any ideas from you would be great if you fancy a go. You see it in a more positive light than i have, i think! There's more brewing, on relationships and aloneness - so i'll see where it goes - Cheers 😀 x)

Ionicus on 16-09-2006
Studio 1
What a wonderful composition, littleditty. It resonates like a classical symphony with four movements, the final stanza representing the coda to a beautiful structure.
I agree with Kat the the concluding part of your poem is exquisite and with sunken that the piece was deserving of a nib. Very well done.

Luigi x



Author's Reply:
Luigi - how lovely to hear from you -i have just now been reading your poems too! Thanks for pulling out the music thing, i started with the idea of a musician type in the studio/shed in the garden, took it from there. I thought the first voice may put some people off reading to the end. Its a bit o.t.t. i think. The nib thing - comments mean a lot, i should leave more on my visits *tuts at self* thank you very much. xxxldx

Kat on 17-09-2006
Studio 1
ld, I've looked in again... I could not begin to suggest improvements/edits... it feels so 'just right' to me... capturing intangibles so tangibly! It is fresh, honest and has a delightful four voices!

Adios

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat - i'm going to look again in a bit - looked at MMU too, cant find much about costs for p/t 2 years -will give them a ring - thank you Kat :o) xxx


Grit (posted on: 08-09-06)
*

There is too much sea spit in the glue that holds us, there is too little grit in my resolve. Not another step through the sludge! I lift my chewing gum foot, freeze; walk the snapping stalagmites, crunch through a gravel of ice, and all for the freshness of snow. I will not melt a milky thaw, put you in my mouth to make words drip from a husky tongue, until the first bud is a sprig of green, gently held in the sharpest beak. I am all edge; the blades of my skates or the cut of the sledge, two tracks speed ahead, straight.
Archived comments for Grit
Sunken on 14-09-2006
Grit
Blimey - Those bloody hackers have a lot to answer for Ms. Ditty. I can't remember what I said originally )-: I may have mentioned turnips and hamsters at some stage I guess? Your work is always smashing Ms. Ditty and this is no exception. Thanks.

s
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k
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chips 4 - smash potato 5

Author's Reply:
Mr munky, yes, they are annoying, all the luverly comments from you and Ms Kat have gone, vanished. Thanks so much for popping back in -did your new one go too? If so, I guess you will pop it back where it belongs tomorrow. No - you didnt mention Turnips, i wondered about that, and Rudy's arthritis. Hope you are both well and that you decided against selling your kidney. 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 15-09-2006
Grit
Yeah, I lost mine too Ms. Ditty )-: It was nibbed and nominated too. I also lost a whole page of Unkle Munky on the wiki site. I managed to remember most of it and spent two hours yesterday updating it. I'm just glad I'd had my turnip soup or I don't know how I'd have managed. Take care and a spare key lovely Ms. Ditty.

s
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world war pillow

Author's Reply:
psst.... munky, over...'resub it and cut and paste comments from email?' over,roger,delta,foxtrot,dandy...pssst,10/4,and out. xxxprivate ditty x

Sunken on 15-09-2006
Grit
Good idea Ms. Ditty, but I delete my mail on a regular basis because I fear getting done by the council for not keeping my garden tidy. Thanks anyway for your clever advise. You could work for Unkle at this rate young Ms. Ditty (-:

s
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k
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he likes privates

Author's Reply:


The Properties of Metal (She is a metal woman) (posted on: 04-09-06)
:o)

She is a metal woman. Remark on her tensile strength! So strong when stretched, inheriting ductility from her make up. She conducts, with compressive strength under pressure, an alloy, that bends without breach. She is malleable, easily pressed; s p r e a d, hammered into shape, and her work-hardy structure may change as a result. Most days, she's tough and resists deforming; on others, brittle, she breaks, especially when low on iron. Ferrous, likely to rust or be picked up by a random passing magnet, she is a metal woman, solid and flexible and you? You should be in ore!
Archived comments for The Properties of Metal (She is a metal woman)
Sunken on 06-09-2006
The Properties of Metal (She is a metal woman)
Hello Ms. Ditty. What a great write, it puts me in mind of a sparrow. I have no explanation for this analogy so I shall write to my local MP and ask what he thinks. Very clever ending. It put me in mind of a Ford Cortina. Again, I have written to my local MP for an explanation of this analogy. I hope, but doubt, that this helps. Thanks.

s
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shades of colic

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken -thanks, it helps, i wish i could suggest something for colic but i cant spell pepto abismal or Alka salsa etc, but good luck with this. Perhaps your MP will see this poem as one that celebrates women a bit? Wonder what he'll say about sparrows and cortinas? They get on my nerves sometimes, women, no problem with sparrows or cortinas, so i thought i'd remind myself that we are pretty amazing creatures really, as are munkys of course. Are you sure your MP is a 'he' - or were you just sexual stereotyping? pfff 😀 thanks for the big fat 10, and for your reading of 'The Properties of Mental Woman' - this poem needs another go though xxxditty x (brought to you by PMS) (no, not Prime Ministers etc...)xxx

discopants on 07-09-2006
The Properties of Metal (She is a metal woman)
It's a good analogy you've got going and I'm sure you'll find some gold in there. Last line was a bit corny for me, though.

Author's Reply:
I'll try again with it - it was written a while ago -tried to make more of a poem of it - you didn't like the crap joke at the end?!! May be when i have another go with it i'll get rid of it! Thanks disco, xxxlittleditty x


Moth (posted on: 01-09-06)
poem

Moth Perhaps there is no closet only the drum roll and the opening of door upon door the act of moving thresholds bringing light to another dark room. A moth caught porcelain on a windowpane a translucency once again framed.
Archived comments for Moth
orangedream on 01-09-2006
Moth
Moths fascinate me. Except the little devils that eat holes in my husband's suits!

Good poem, enjoyed

kind regards
orangedream

Author's Reply:
Hi orangedream - glad you thought it a good one - thanks a lot for telling me you enjoyed :o)

MWyndham on 01-09-2006
Moth
Excellent poem. I shall read and re-read this until my eyes hurt like a mole thrust into sunlight..or some such simile involving animals and light....

I give it 10!

Author's Reply:
Hi MW - or a tuna caught in the headlights...? you're a mole you say? I seeeee... Thanks for the big 10 -glad you enjoyed this one :o) thanks.

Sunken on 02-09-2006
Moth
Hey Ditty, you're so fine
you're so fine
you blow mind -
Hey Ditty, Hey Ditty.
Thanks Toni Basil.

Another top piece Ms. Ditty. I tried to comment earlier this morning but the site went a bit weird on me. Perhaps it's trying to tell me summfin. I like your poem more than the free dvd that comes with this months Loaded magazine. I often visit your posts just to look at the photo of you at your pc. It always brings a smile to my face for some reason. I hope this comment finds you in positions relative to Saturday and that any moths you attract with your brilliance are of a friendly nature. Thanks.

s
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bringin' timberlake back

Author's Reply:
HI Sunken - i am in a position relative to Saturday thanks, and i liked your comment more than this weeks Now Heat Reveal magazines - oh, and Grazia. Thanks for visiting and for a huge 10 xxxditty x

dylan on 02-09-2006
Moth
Fine, fine poem, LD.
Succinct and thoughtful.
Only one or two slight suggestions-

Perhaps there is no closet
only the drum roll
and the opening
of door upon door,
the act of removing thresholds,
bringing light to another dark room.
A moth reveals itself to
the porcelain on a windowpane
as a translucency
once again framed.

As I say, only suggestions.
XXX,
D.

Author's Reply:
Hey Dylan - thank you - and a bigger thank you for suggesting some changes - you seem to have made more explicit what i was trying to say, makes me wonder if i've said it, as it is -this is a good thing, sugestions seem thin on the ground these days, and as i am learning and put these ditties up fresh to think about, i think this is a shame! Cheers xxx

e-griff on 02-09-2006
Moth
'reveals itself to itself' is pretty dodgy IMO. 🙂

I would just take 'to itself' out - then it reads pretty well.

Author's Reply:
Hi john -i thought about that too - guess i should think again, now you think its dodgy! I;ll pop it back in the pot! Thanks griffy xxx (the moth reveals itself, to itself. I dont know what to do about it -although the moth brings light to another dark room, i need to convey that the moth has seen itself -its a coming out of the closet poem in this respect - so, will think more! thanks J.

e-griff on 03-09-2006
Moth
Hmm I see what you mean... i didn't see that in the poem - so it might be me being dense, or it may be too obscure (we need more opinions!!!!!)

could you do something with 'recognises' (itself in some way)? that would imply two viewpoints the viewer and the viewed. 'a revelation of itself' ?

oh blimey! you're the poet! sorry I didn't get the message first off... look forward to what you do with it ...best John G


Author's Reply:
I'll think about that recognises thing when i come back to it, leaving it alone for now- *scowls at little moth poem* Cheers John, for your time and efforts. Nicky x

artisus on 26-10-2007
Moth
beautiful

Author's Reply:
hello! thank you -you are spooky -i was thinking about this little moth - now i get to read it again...i think i did an edit - may be this IS the edit, i forget...i was also reminded earlier of a poem we wrote together in Athens - was that the movie you mentioned?! 2 weeks i think i might have both a room and an internet connection at the same time - then there will be some pruning - so this is a keeper? Cheers Nico-pop xxx

artisus on 03-11-2007
Moth
i am spooky today? if you were thinking about this little moth, than I probably am... (i like Nico-pop) xx

Author's Reply:

artisus on 03-11-2007
Moth
*am i etc*

Author's Reply:


hoping opposites don't attract (posted on: 25-08-06)
~experimental write - not sure about it, yet, also need a title, if you'd be so kind :D~

I am failing to repel your synonyms with contrasting words, so how pleasing it was to find one so ugly already on your side. I was interested for a moment to think: it is hard to imagine how 'pulchritudinous' has anything to do with you. What you are not is my only defence and, as it is useless against you, I have decided to become all of your contrasting words. They say I should look elsewhere, try to become the very words that are all too easily related to you. How agreeable I would be, except, while I am unsympathetic, I am your antonym, hoping opposites don't attract; anyone. I waited for the first signs of enchanting and clung to contrasting words as repellent. I stayed in, captivated, to avoid being bewitched. I avoided fetching your winning eyes or losing myself to your related words: Beckoning, provocative, you entice antipathy. You may tantalise, because when I feel like you, it will be your winning eyes caught in my headlights, and you don't want that, do you? ('pulchritudinous' = physical beauty/comeliness)
Archived comments for hoping opposites don't attract
Sunken on 26-08-2006
poem
Oh my Little Ditty
I love you oh so much.
I want to read you in the nuddie
I promise not to touch...

ahem, sorry Ditty, I'm tired. You are a top bite sized poet ya know? I also like your photo. All in all, I like this. Yes. Thanks.

s
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he lacks potential

Author's Reply:
Hello munky, what a sweet song - reminds me of an insane latina who shakes her marracas - where's Nuddie? - you know, you can read me wherever you like? - i'm glad you found your 'n' - that was a bit of a worry - cos i have lost my 't's - thanks - xxxdi yx



Londoner24 on 26-08-2006
poem
There's something I really enjoyed about this. It also ends really well. A title? Something to do with those words. Lexicon maybe.

Author's Reply:
Hello Londoner24 - thank you very much for telling me you enjoyed thiis - Lexicon is a very good idea! - cheers 😀

Zoya on 26-08-2006
poem
Hi, Nicky, this is a clever, very clever poem.
Love the whole idea of the symbolic antonym.
We poets think in terms of words, don't we?
Brilliant poem all in all!
The title is right there in your poem:
'hoping opposites don’t attract'
How about that?
Love, and all the best,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hello Zoya - it's a bit clever and that's what i was unsure about - i hoped there was also story,feelings and thoughts in the reading of it- and i think you've got the title just right! Nice - thank you! Hope London was good to you -i ended up in Cornwall! Nicky x


Mosaic (posted on: 18-08-06)
poem

Enter the arena of enquiry as a subject, Record the event, speak about it, Arrange chips of broken glass And the ashes of burnt pages, in revelations. Opinions everywhere. What to believe in, Is written and rewritten, not only to consider For what end or vested interest, Not only for moments of understanding, Tiny Eureka's and striving sound bites, All of nothing whole. Also incomplete are the lists of names, Carved on mountains of marble or stone, Each individual name, a marker, a sculpture At Menin Gate, Miami, Hiroshima, Names standing in solid stone, each a life story. This, is something felt the history of it; A dawning of why and how beliefs held, Have carved us up. There is no denying it. We are who we are. As for what we believe, we should chisel out A lifetime's work in sculptures of dust; Watch dissipating pearls and imagine All the possibilities as they fall away. When making art, I'll judge it next to a memorial wall of names, Stand, in front of the stone, a work in progress, and carve out mine.
Archived comments for Mosaic
Sunken on 18-08-2006
Mosaic
You are deeper than the hole that recently opened up in my backyard young Ditty. Yet again I am sounding a bit gay. I shall leave quietly and consider my plight. Nice one Ms. Little. I usually need to read your work a few times before totally getting it. This is not a bad a thing. Consider hedgehogs and how they might relate to law enforcement tyre deflation systems (but only if you have both the inclination and the time). God bless you all. Thanks.

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wrapped in tin foil and connected to lightening rods for her pleasure

Author's Reply:

red-dragon on 18-08-2006
Mosaic
I was watching the news last night about an artist in Iraq, who was killed by a bomb. This poem linked me instantly. Profound, ld and worthy of a nib, IMHO. Ann

Author's Reply:

Abel on 18-08-2006
Mosaic
What quiet power I feel when reading this one...really masterful work here, LD.

Ward

Author's Reply:

reckless on 18-08-2006
Mosaic
I found this very thoughtful and measured, and therefore powerful in its message and delivery. Beautiful ending, haunting and touching. This is very good.

Author's Reply:

kenochi on 19-08-2006
Mosaic
now that is a poem.
some poignant lines, but in particular...

'there's no denying it,
we are who we are.'

you've said something big and important without spelling it out or bashing the reader over the head with it. You haven't veered into mawkishness or cliche, or fake sentiment either. And they're not always easy to avoid.
Beliefs do carve us up, that's true, but not just beliefs - so many things.
And we like being carved up, really, don't we? It makes things simpler. Us and them, insiders / outsiders - social starting point of the human animal.

Author's Reply:

Dazza on 19-08-2006
Mosaic
I am what I am, judge me but make my pidgeon hole the size of Bristol, it's leeway that gets me through, and your open mind has plenty, very well written, Dazza.

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 19-08-2006
Mosaic
Read this again and again and got more out of it each time. A beautiful write.

orangedream

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 19-08-2006
Mosaic
Hi LD,

This is a very good read, well written.

Top piece.
Si:-)

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 21-08-2006
Mosaic
Thank you so much for leaving your comments here. Much appreciated – any editing suggestions very welcome for when i come back to this one. Nicky x

Author's Reply:

flossieBee on 16-11-2006
Mosaic
Names carved in solid stone
each a life story
this is something felt.

Yes.

xx

Author's Reply:
Yes.
thanks 🙂
xxxnx


Untitled (posted on: 11-08-06)
poem

There is no house for it, unless we say it lives in a house without walls or with a neighbour at night juggling fireflies on a freshly cut lawn. It is less in an artwork than in the eye and there beholden, it is just a visitor, a guest welcome to an empty chair, and sat at all tables of ritual, free to leave, it will serve itself. Adorned by whatever metaphor, it shape-shifts; best illuminated in its quiet ways before or after words. Sometimes invisible, In some frame or other, I reach out my hand to touch it.
Archived comments for Untitled
Kat on 11-08-2006
Untitled
I really like how this is written - enigmatic, teasing but attainable, like the grail/some kind of grail if we open our eyes and see clearly. A very spiritual feel to this, oh wise, dittyone.

Good to see you!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hey Kat -thank you for taking a mo with this one - 'enigmatic, teasing but attainable,' - cooool - 'sassy metaphysical pen' someone said! 😮 - glad some feel this isn't too cold/vague, glad you got something from this one, yours have been tops lately, hope to comment a little more as i have internet more often! Cheers xxx

orangedream on 11-08-2006
Untitled
Love the line:-

...juggling fireflies on a freshly-cut lawn.

A kind of mysterious, ethereal feel to this well-written piece, that I savoured.

orangedream:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi orangedream:-) thanks for giving this one a read -glad you liked, been nice to see you posting here, i've been reading 😉 Cheers! xldx

Sunken on 12-08-2006
Untitled
Hiya Ditty. Good to see you back. Your poem puts me in mind of being told to sit up straight at the dinner table by a waitress who has a phd in diplomacy. I hope this helps.

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Author's Reply:
Hiya Sunky - yes, i had a nice rest, thanks 😀 Where's the tip? Pfff

Your comment
Rated 10

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xxx


King George Fields (posted on: 03-07-06)
poem

We are travelling north, climbing to the highest point, back to school days from Jack's Lake to King George Fields. Meadows in a weave of cornflowers, dry spiked thistles and buttercup break up yielding impressions of hay. Tall grasses, familiar trees; we are walking through Tudor Fields to turn back and take in the skyline. High Barnet Church on the hill, a marker, 'Is this Nostalgia?' We turn, older, and see the smog over Canary Wharf, the simmering congestion, the city, innards blistering. This hill again becomes a shoulder. I have escaped the centre and looking back, it is the future ahead, all trees; no red, no brick, no battles; in summertime meadows, the shoulder - all ribbons of purple, where we are both golden and green.
Archived comments for King George Fields
narcissa on 03-07-2006
King George Fields
My goodness I've missed reading your work. It's good to be back (for a little while) and devouring your beautiful words again.
"Is this nostalgia?" and those last incredible lines are just... wow.
Apologies that I'm not very articulate this morning.
What I like about this is the juxtaposition of the feeling of familiarity and return, and the feeling of wonder. It's a poem rich with senses.

Beautiful.
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Hi Laura - good you are done with exams - yesterday, i was walking with an old school friend, up to London's most Northern point and this begins some poems i would like to write about these fields/standing on the shoulders of 'history' - 'herstory' actually, the colours of the suffragettes were there for us somewhat gOLDen and still green women, not quite over the hill ;)! - plus i am trying to read some old great poets/history at the mo so i am beginning to wonder about these things here, actually - had to teach Jane Austen last week and she gets me wondering about at least the last 250!... I am not finished with this one and have been editing - but it is great that you took to it - i feel more enthusiastic to have another go with it today. Tis a start - thanks for the lovely things you say - congrats for winning that comp; i'm reading your poem again and 😮 and will post/pm some ideas! xxxnicky x

Jolen on 03-07-2006
King George Fields
Holy shit Nicky! I am thrilled to read your new work and this one is a beauty for certain. Loved the incredible imagery and the nostalgia line. But the ending was totally brilliant!

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Holy Poo Jolen! Thanks for your enthusiasm - wanted it to be somewhat anti nostalgia, anti that self pittying kind of way nostalgia has about it sometimes - walking in a familiar place can remind of all that has been lost - i wanted to answer that, positively - well -my old, dear friend liked it - now i had better get on with writing some more and will pack a picnic and walk to those fields! Hope all is well with you 😀 xxx

Rosco on 03-07-2006
King George Fields
no red, no brick, no battles;

What a moving line this is. You built wonderfully toward it. You have the garland back in your hair here and the May pole errected. We're back in Albion where Robert Herrick wrote 'Corrina's Going A-Maying' even if there was a nasty Industrial Revolution between times. Loved this journey on foot through dark heat.

Author's Reply:
Hi Ross - (you like that line? I shall confess and reveal another angle, ruin it for you 😀 - red brick university super candidate head of everything turned up at the interview and i didn't get the job, no brick building for me yet, no battles though - i knew i wouldn't get it the minute she turned up! 😀 poets eh?) Anyhow, i am just trying to feel at home, moving North out of the crime zone hot spot was a good idea - the school where we danced around the Maypole is just down the road, still waiting for the revolution -they happen slowly here, without much blood, so perhaps i am missing it?! - glad you liked this one - thanks - nicky x

scotch on 10-07-2006
King George Fields
likeable piece..scoth

Author's Reply:
glad you liked it -thanks scotch, littleditty x

Macjoyce on 17-01-2007
King George Fields
I really like this.

First of all, we have the juxtaposition of Tudor Fields/ High Barnet church, symbols of bygone years, with ‘nostalgia’. And then, ‘older’, you face Canary Wharf.

This is rather clever, and I think you should accentuate it. My own personal opinion, disregard it if you like, is that you should do away with ‘the skyline’, and go:

we are walking through Tudor Fields
to turn back and take in High Barnet Church
on the hill, a marker,

Also I think you could sharpen the juxtaposition of modernity and days of yore by describing Canary Wharf and the Docklands area in a bit more detail. “The smog over the blinking iron tower of Canary Wharf” or something. What say you?

I love the idea of the hill being a shoulder, like to cry on. Perhaps you could subtly hint at sentimental tears of nostalgia?

And then we come to the end. Am I right in guessing this hill is in Golders Green? The final line is a very nice touch.

I hope my comments have been worthwhile.

Paul.


Author's Reply:

Macjoyce on 10-10-2007
King George Fields
*coughs*


Author's Reply:
soreeeeeeeeeeeeeeey - sorrry *cries* ...no proper internet for another few weeks - will try to copy page and have think - will come back mac, thank you, will look at this now i hope - :o)

Macjoyce on 18-11-2007
King George Fields
*haaaaack!* *wheeeeze* AHEM!

Author's Reply:
Nostalgia competition - going home to have a go at this one mac -copied your notes -cheers bud - hope you are smiling and egg nogging xxx

Macjoyce on 30-04-2008
King George Fields
*uuuurrrrrghhhhhhh!!!* *kkkkhhhh!!!* *khah! khah! khah!*



Pardon me.




What do you think about what I think about this poem, then?

And what the hell happened to those sonnets? Show me your bloody sonnets!

PM xx


Author's Reply:
Dear Macstrudel, are you now Prime Minister? Great! -i did edit it a bit -don't know if i posted it here though, and i cant be bothered to even read it now -its at abctales for that nostalgia competition thing - i am sorry to say that today i am not well at all -and when i needed help with a sonnet or two you were away - i will show you some sonnets, i will - but i have to like poetry again first, and not feel like shit- and either stop drinking quite so much lager -or drink more lager -i really can't decide --okaaaaay? -

Nicky of quietness and loud burps - cheers Mac - xx *burps*

Macjoyce on 01-05-2008
King George Fields
The version on abc, a site I no longer use because it's soulless and dull, goes thusly:


We are traveling north,
climbing to the highest point,
back to school days
from Jack's Lake to King George Fields.
Meadows in a weave of cornflowers,
spiked violet thistle and buttercup
break up yielding impressions of hay.
Tall grasses, familiar trees;
we are walking through Tudor Fields
to turn back and take in the skyline.
High Barnet Church, the hill brow marker,
'Is this Nostalgia?' We turn now, older,
and see the smog over Canary Wharf,
the simmering congestion, the slick city,
innards blistering,
and this hill again becomes a shoulder.
I have escaped the center
and looking back,
it is the future ahead, all trees;
no red, no brick, no battles;
in summertime meadows,
the shoulder - all ribbons of purple,
where we are both golden and green.


So it's basically exactly the same.

Maybe you can think about what I think about your poem after you've drunk some lager.

MacBattenburg Cake


Author's Reply:
Dear MacMuffin - you are funny -thank goodness for you! You have made me laugh after one lager-top at the TV and footy fish and chip shop - this is a good thing - because today is a full circle kind of day -allow me to explain in bog standard prose, because as i have mentioned, i don't much like poetry at the mo -

Today, i had to send off an intruder who sneaked into my apartment building (by pressing everyone elses bell, and nearly to my apartment because i thought it was someone else) with rather strong assertiveness and aggression, as the man has no ears whatsoever, and keeps appearing when i've told him a few hundred times to please leave me alone - he is a nutter - which i didnt realise when we exchanged phone numbers when he sat down at my table on the street. I told him my life story very clearly, but i think because of having no ears, he missed a few vital pieces of information re my need for piece and quiet, and the fact also that i am purposefully single, a writer type, and not interested in shagging him, or spending much time with a needy nutter with no capacity to listen at all. I have stated clearly my sexual orientation, and the previous points, and have insisted that he does not call me or bother me. I realise that he was sent to try my waning patience and help me practice being fierce - which i need to do -because your last forage through my cupboards and pointing out my 7.9 Earthquake poem, is the exact point in time that i locate the first rumblings of my last Volcanic Eruption, which has resulted in the rediscovery of pure fire -pure lava flow from both hands, and i am finding it less and less scary - (like that bloke from Heroes with fiery hands, from the tv series that was on at the chip shop, before he lost his memory and they started season 2) - so what i am trying to say is this: Hiro from the 7.9 poem needs looking again before i look at these cornflowers etc - but you might be interested to note that the changes that i made to King George, small though they appear to be, were indeed made with the notes that you so kindly provided - i realise that this may not be obvious, or acceptable, but that's the truth of it. And by this strange turn of events, today may be the day for me to consider poetry once more, so what can i say except thank you Macdoodle - i am now going to go and have a look at 7.9 again, a poem called Kimono, The Directors Cut, and get back to you re King George and Sonnets in the not to distant future - and by the way -it is now not today, as i wrote this yesterday and didnt post it - i did however write a poem today about all this -and so life goes on. What did you think of the poem in your last but one urrrg and argghghg type comment? I really don't knwo -are my changes too insignificant for you? Please rewrite it -i really don't mind at all - hello? hello? Is anybody there? oh deary me.....Well, in case you should read this, thanks for making me giggle like a nutter, and i apologise in retrospect for all this waffle, cheers -toodlepops Macstrudel - Love and Blissings xxx Ditty of Doc Green x

Macjoyce on 04-05-2008
King George Fields
Maybe you should try shagging him. You never know, he might turn out to be the love of your life and soulmate. Just because he's a nutter and you're a lesbian, doesn't necessarily mean it can't work. You need to be more open-minded about such things.

I shan't rewrite your poem for you, as that would be immoral.

Mac the Poofy Dragon



Author's Reply:


Rest (posted on: 03-07-06)
poem

Moving room to room Who pleads for a want More wanton than functioning needs, When in the gap, if impotence Is not impudently content, She sits, just without compulsion Toward one thing or the next; Neither shy nor without heart, Impartial, at rest, Waiting for what is to be proven Beyond desire's reach. Neutral indifference, Immune to all bias Except knowing; The longing, A hankering After the next.
Archived comments for Rest
Jolen on 03-07-2006
Rest
Damn! evocative and stirring work. This is a piece that the reader feels, or this one did. IMO! As always, enjoyable and skillfunny constructed, but I just love the feeling here, the over all yearing.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen! Thank you - just after and before the yearning kicks in -there is some peace and quiet, no? the knowing found there, something like a realisation coming from meditation/a still point - is that what i was going on about, cos i can't see the darn poem now! Thanks for reading this littleditty 🙂 x

e-griff on 03-07-2006
Rest
I liked the rythm and tone of this very much - the words fitted together well and it flowed. But I would have preferred a deeper dip into the atmosphere 🙂 At the moment , or me it's all stratospheric and needs a base. JoHnG

Author's Reply:
Hi John - i agree with/understand all that you have said! A deeper dip into the atmosphere - ok - i was all up in the air, without a job, home, a base -and after some rest, where i appeared to do/want nothing, i found some quiet, some knowing - now i have a home and await the onslaught of new desires! This just said it as it was, without colours - you were spot on - 'it's all stratospheric and needs a base' - thank you! Nicky x

Rosco on 03-07-2006
Rest
Love the narrative line bereft of imagery like that wanderer at dusk in the Four Quartets. The fixated psychological focus is reminiscent of a mutual friend of ours. I rather like that.

Author's Reply:
Hi Ross -there's a Wanderer at dusk in the Four Quartets? As usual you get me to read - the whole thing is a wandering - i will go and read again! I thought this whimsy was was consise and i felt happy with it - reminiscent? Friends have things in common - i'm off to the bookshop i think - it's so heavy i needed a home before i bought one for me! 😉 Glad you liked this one - thanks Ross xxxnx

Sunken on 04-07-2006
Rest
Hello Ms. Ditty. Are you home yet? You know I worry. I'm not very good at commenting and so would like, on this occasion, to claim Jolen's as my own. She won't mind, she's American. I hope you are well and that you are keeping cool. Thanks.

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in charge of rifles

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - have you got the safety catch on? I'm home and glad that you managed to pick up a comment from America village on the green, she's so environmentally friendly that i'm sure she won't mind a bit of recycling. Alas, my local Budgens, unlike Asda,Tescos etc doesn't have any recycling facilities - but the freezer and picnic sections are not to be sniffed at. Hope you are having a lovely summertime, that the fish are jumpin and the cotton is high - xxxDitty of Little x

Zoya on 05-07-2006
Rest
"Impartial, at rest,
Waiting for what is to be proven
Beyond desire’s reach."

Yeah Nicky, beyond desire's reach, an interlude, in between the acts, 'rest' is a good thing at times to recoup, before the next surge of desire, yearning and craving, which come in all gushing together, as suddenly as they sometimes, not often, take leave...

**hugs for a terse write**
Love, xxx, Zoya


Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya 🙂 yeah, thats it! I think i may have been getting some pressure to appear more active! Thanks for reading this one. Hope you are well xxxnicky x

eddiesolo on 06-07-2006
Rest
Hi Nicky,

Good flow and rhythm to this.

And as Jolen has pointed out you do feel this piece.

Great.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Hi Si of Roses - Thanks for telling me that there is some feeling to it -its a bit spare, as Griffy pointed out, and so I wondered about that! Cheers Si xxxnicky x

Dazza on 10-07-2006
Rest
You can't beat a good hankering! Folk will hanker after this one, already are, I am, Dazza.

Author's Reply:
hI dAZZLER of Ach Chooo - hankering - it's as inevitable as a sneeze! Is it also true that our hearts skip a beat when we... sneeze? Skipping heart beats, and the sneeze being the first symptom of The Black Death, are the reasons why we say bless you! Right now i am trying to avoid all sneezing, heart skipping activities and The Black Death - fat chance - as you say, you can't beat a good hankering! Glad you liked this little poem call Rest - Thanks Dazza xxxlittleditty x


The Pale Horse (posted on: 02-06-06)
poem

1 The Pale Horse, Hooves of hard edges Suppressed, muzzled And expressionless, Is dancing unseen In the backwater, Pounding her gavel On other dreaming pavements, Dampening down dark Muffled announcements. 2 I heard it and did not, Cantered on split decisions, My three-beat gait too slow For wisdom, fast enough To take me far from you; A carousel waltz, A question of timing. 3 Today the mallet struck, Gavel-to-gavel, dust to dust. I wipe my hands of it And in an instant hammered home, It is the end of us.
Archived comments for The Pale Horse
dogfrog on 02-06-2006
The Pale Horse
Most excellent poem LD. Elegant, efficient, controlled.

Love it.

df

Author's Reply:
Hi df - thank you - xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 02-06-2006
The Pale Horse
I agree! Wonderful work. Great analogy. Pale horse/death.. loved this ld..

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Jolen -thank you. Glad you did. This one said what i wanted it to. Written quickly to avoid wallowing - time is short xxxldx

Zoya on 02-06-2006
The Pale Horse
A very well conceived piece of work.
**Hugs**
Love, xxx, Zoya


Author's Reply:
HI Zoya - thanks for the hug -glad you thought it well conceived - thank you for telling me xxxldx

Sunken on 03-06-2006
The Pale Horse
I find horses quite scary. They all remind me of Princess Anne. I once offered one an apple but he wouldn't accept it because I hadn't peeled it. So ungrateful. I never quite got over it. Don't get me wrong, I love your poem. I have contacted Gary Numan and he says that giving a ten is okay by him. I hope this helps. Thanks.

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he rubs deep heat on his privates (please don't try this at home. I won't be bloody doing it again, that's for sure!)

Author's Reply:
Yes - 'We are so fragile' my electric friend - Be-sides, i am so sorry to have reminded you of Princess Anne - strainge that? Oh Munky - thank you xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 05-06-2006
The Pale Horse
I hope you don't have dust in your eyes and heart from that 'pass you in my roadster' American approach of Jolen. The highway is littered with broken hearts, just another roadkill it would seem. Yes, it's wonderful, great metaphor, love/heartbreak, been there done that, bye. Let's step back a moment. The ghost of D.H. Lawrence has visited this site. If you look at Bektron's, Mistress Quickly's, and your latest entry you will detect that vitality in nature and death in the spirit fixation of the great man. All the trappings of English culture with that stark realization that nature(sexual and otherwise) controls and guides us. The 3 step whirl of this poem works nicely with the ever shortening stanzas drawing us to the cruel but efficient ending. Bang, next warden.

Author's Reply:
Hello - funny -i visited D.H the morning after posting this one and read a few great reads before breakfast - i realised he has the knack to make me feel better - i discovered he writes also about tortoises. Glad you like this one -it's perhaps a poem rather than whimsy! Bang. Thanks Ross xxxlittleditty x

ThePhoenix on 07-06-2006
The Pale Horse
great poem, but like sunken I dislike horses, not due to princess Anne mind just cause I've been run over by them too many times both in battle and by red coated thugs...also like sunken I've had an accident with deep heat, they should definitely put a warning on the label...oh they do.

horses are good analogy of break ups, I liked the pace but I fear numbers (especially the number two).

thanks D

Author's Reply:
Hi D - hI 🙂 Yes -horses and the number two can be quite awesome - the Phoenix, a Knight and the Fox? You have my vote (and empathy) A poem of mine Feral Child may or may not explain what i mean. Hope you are well, thanks for commenting xxxlittleditty x

teifii on 11-06-2006
The Pale Horse
Fascinating sustained metaphor. A favourite for me. I particularly like the last verse but should that be 'wiped' as the rest is past tense. Sorry, can't help being fussy when I like something.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - thank you very much -i'm glad you like it - thanks for bringing me back to these things i write with the tense thing - you have before and it always makes me think about it 🙂 I've not been on line much recently so sorry for taking so long to reply - With this one, it definitely felt like a waltz up to the present - the present moment of writing it, and this time i think i still like it that way! Thanks for reading Daff -your thumbs up means a lot -cheers! xxxnicky x

Yutka on 27-06-2006
The Pale Horse
Great image little Ditty! I like the change into the present at the end. It makes the whole situation strong and authentic.
Yutka:)

Author's Reply:
Hi Yutka - i have not been online much - nice to find you liked this one - Daff got me thinking about the tense thing and i think i like the present tense for the reasons you do. Thanks for telling me - you've been subbing some interesting posts lately -off to read ----> xxxlittleditty x

narcissa on 02-07-2006
The Pale Horse
My goodness this is an incredible piece. I'm ashamed to say I didn't really "get it" as such until I got to the second stanza, but that made it wonderfully unwinding for me.
The second stanza is also my favourite. I love how it begins - very arresting!
I'll have to come back and read this again, it's a marvellous piece.
Laura x

Author's Reply:
HI Laura -hope the exams went well for you - i'm glad you think this worked -i like it when a metaphor comes together 🙂 There is the gavel of judgement in this piece and the 3 stanza waltz should get tighter to the end- i'll need to look at this again -thanks for bringing me back to it, i like the 2nd best too - thank you! Nicky x


Fine (posted on: 29-05-06)
poem

Colloquially speaking, It is just a case of a 'Wayward Spirit' Which sounds, When put like that, Quite charming; Sparky, don't you Think? After all, It's not like you 'Served up your soul' On a silver platter, Extending invisible Grams forward in A fine spun, porous, Net-veined manner. Let's not split hairs. We are refined; both Delicate - marked by Subtlety of discernment And even though I cannot often follow These fine distinctions Between design And the undevised, My soul has always Wandered wayward Through transpicuous doors And home: no silver platter, Just a fine-tooth comb, To serve.
Archived comments for Fine
Sunken on 30-05-2006
Fine
Ahhh Ditty. How I love you so. I rarely know what you're on about, this is a good thing as it reminds me of dreams. Last night I was being chased by a rather large lettuce that issues with my fashion sense. I shall not be eating lettuce today. I shall return to your poem, as I do with many of your others Ms. Ditty. All I can say for sure is, it was a joy to read. Almost like a poetical fiddle under the bedclothes. Well done on the nib. Where do you keep them all? I have spoken to Billie Piper of Doctor Who fame and she agrees that your poem is a ten. I hope that this comment finds you in positions relative to contemplations and that you are getting plenty of exercise and fruit. Thanks.

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not allowed to vote on grounds of being a munky

Author's Reply:
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You have an error in your SQL syntax. Check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near '' at line 1.

i am very upset munky - there is a lovely message to you that was eaten by the one above that i got when i pressed the button. If you can find it, it says many things about fruit, Billie Piper and lettuce. It had some contraversial content, i admit - is that why? I am really cross, as now i will just have to thank you in a mild mannered librarian kind of way as i cant tell you again about my having seen your nuts in relation to my unsubbed poem called Scooter (re Einstien and a lusty Norton, of Motorcycle fame) or my recent trip to the supermarket, or even ask if Billie is a nibber as it is not long since we females got the right to vote. Blox.

Why does this kind of thing happen? I come in peace. Thank you Munky xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 30-05-2006
Fine
I like the way this is drawn out and nuanced with the short descending lines following along like a small brook. Some of your most refined use of language and metaphor in a 'concrete' piece. "A fine spun, porous,
Net-veined manner." Ah Beauty! Keats would approve. You're in an aesthetic hot house at the moment. I can see the influence. Not to mention the portrait at the pc. That really is a concern. She's right. Very pleased to see how many people are moving up the artistic ladder.

Author's Reply:
hey Ross - i have changed. I have decided not to only use words that i understand so that everyone can access my poems, and include whatever i damn well please! Seriously though - i am pandering less to the eye of the beholder these days. Is that bad of me? i will send you the portrait - its actually a little cartoon which, if you were worried by this still, comes with instructions to laugh out loud as she smashes her head against the keyboard- you're not squeamish are you? It makes me laugh tears. Thanks for commenting, i'm glad you approved as Keats can't speak as you do - how's that? *grins* On we go...xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 30-05-2006
Fine
Splitting hairs: 'Let's not split hairs' should have an apostrophe, shouldnt it?

Author's Reply:
it should, shouldn't <-------- it =:O) - thanks Ross, changed it!

narcissa on 01-06-2006
Fine
The pace of this piece is wonderful - I'm usually not a fan of very clipped lines, but you've used them wonderfully in this piece. Really enjoyed the witty tone of this!
I need to read it through a few more times to try to make sense of it, but I think that's because I'm tired, and no reflection on your writing at all!! (my head's full of "Hamlet" revision!)
Laura x

Author's Reply:
HI Laura -it is simply about love and non posessive love as a tool for self assessment. To be or not to be is the most incredible speeches of self assessment i know of - a tricky one, yes - dont get too overtired - be alert for the exam - eat banana (its a Sunkenesque comment!) allow the synapses to fire and you will ace it - i kmow it! (i apologise in advance for my tone -english lit teacher and old woman speaking) Best of luck to you although luck has nothing much to do with these things -in fact, what are you doing roaming these pages? pfff -----> sleep,eat,study,treat, sleep eat study,treat - there are better breaks and treats than uka i'm sure 😉 will send you good thoughts on Lit day xxxlittleditty xnicky x

discopants on 04-06-2006
Fine
Yep, I liked this one too. I was reading it as a struggle against convention or conformity in relationships. A bit off track by the looks of it but it doesn't make any difference to my enjoyment of the piece.

Author's Reply:
Hey discopants - glad you liked it -whatever you meant by a bit off track is highly likely as i feel today especially that i know nothing about anything at all and have nothing to say on the matter! However you read this, is fine with me - cheers for commenting - thank you! xxxlittleditty x

Zoya on 05-06-2006
Fine
Dear littleditty,
"And even though
I cannot often follow
These fine distinctions
Between design
And the undevised,
My soul has always
Wandered wayward
Through transpicuous doors
And home"

A master piece of a poem. Good take on nit-picking and hair-splitting!

Very well crafted and executed poem, it just flows like a mountain spring.

Should I say, your best that I have read up till now?

**Hugs**
Love, xxx, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya of Hugs - thank you - glad you thought it flows and i am happy it made some sense to you - so this one gets your vote? Thanks for telling me - that's great - cheers! xxxlittleditty x


Coconuts (posted on: 01-05-06)
?

I have my jungle and when it is in limited colour, I appear to simply laze around in the shade, picking the legs off spiders, making daisy chains. I've been told again and again it's a luxurious pastime as neither pays. It's hobbyist, it's child's-play and I can't stop the coconuts falling, breaking tiles on the terracotta roof. The rain in Monsoon has its own kind of truth but I'm packing up the legs and the chains, getting out of here. Banana leaves are tumbling brown as I take my jungle with me, packing paints, rolling canvas, leaving town, giddying-up to find a brand new second hand room. There have been signs you see, just movements. When there are animals around, familiars are easy to come by, dead or alive they slither on the ground, through legs, hop onto shells, fill the sky with messages that I place, neatly folded, in this case. Combination padlocked, broken at 000 from the start, but locked to prevent the escape of legs. Anything that touches the skin is only really active for twenty minutes. Absorbed, evaporated - washed, after twenty minutes the skin seals. Those twenty minutes add, and natures breezes are absorbed so that I have become more and more at one with this place. The rains do evaporate, which is why I have locked the case. I have no fear at the airport. I will have packed wisely, weaning out the weight, balancing the bags, carrying all the precious things that may just break. If my luggage is lost or stolen, so be it, and that's the truth - because I can't stop the coconuts falling, breaking tiles on the terracotta roof.
Archived comments for Coconuts
dogfrog on 01-05-2006
Coconuts
Well written stuff LD. I like your prose it's idiosyncratic and frankly ace. I'm a big fan of open-ended short fiction. Carry on up the Jungle 😀

df

Author's Reply:
Hi doggie -i am shy with my prose - but i thought id sub my coconuts - i've seen yours too, very impressive if i might say so - thanks df - i'll write some shorts to sub i think :O)xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 02-05-2006
Coconuts
very real and honest, i thought you were an unbelievable Turtle! pfff. that's what happens to Turtles when they spend too much time at/in/orwhatever ordinary beaches! i bet there was no peculiar sand to play with there! how awful for Turtlelinis! (and very well written)

Author's Reply:
Hi NIc - ahhhh...but have you ever been to Turtle Beach?

Morjim and Asvem
Beautiful and deserted Morjim Beach (Turtle Beach) and Asvem Beach go as far as Chapora. Perfect place to go to avoid the activity found a bit more to the south (Anjuna). Although Morjim is a designated and protected habitat for the Olive Ridley turtle, it's perhaps perfect for R&R. From time to time an outdoor party takes place inbetween Morjim and Asvem.

Palolem (awful)

Palolem Beach, November 2005One of the most beautiful Goan beaches, although not as peaceful as it used to be (sometimes referred to as the Goan lost paradise). Palolem Beach is long beach now entirely filled with rooms and huts (150-400 Rs.) and restaurants, sometimes with live music. There's also a market for tourists. Walk the beach at night with a flashlight and you'll be amazed by crabs running away from you.

Patnem (my holiday home)
A small and quiet beach about 1.5 km from Palolem. If you get up early at around 07:00-07:30 and go for a swim, you might get a chance to swim with dolphins. The sea here has a lot of plankton in it, so take a night swim moon and you may see your limbs glowing in the water. During full moon nights the sea itself glows.

taken from http://wikitravel.org/en/Beaches_in_Goa#Morjim_and_Asvem

Thanks Nic 😉 xxxlittleditty x

kenochi on 02-05-2006
Coconuts
I enjoyed this too - its written with real skill, nice vocab and rhythm, as is all your stuff, but is it really prose? It may be presented as prose, but as i read it, my head told me it was poetry.
If you wrote a 5000 word piece in this style, i reckon it would get too heavy to read fairly quickly. Substance would be subsumed by style.
Not that that really matters - we don't need to get bogged down in classification. Its good to read. End of.

Author's Reply:
Sir -Substance would be subsumed by style. - i am wondering about this....i have written longer pieces, first person, some introduce some substance -do you mean the 'other', character, plot, action etc? I think i'm going prosey, just trying to find a way there! This was more a dairy entry! Cheers Mark - glad you thought it good *beams* xxx

kenochi on 03-05-2006
Coconuts
yeah - could see this working well as the first few paras of a longer work, used to captivate and a dazzle a reader when vying for their attention, but at some point, when you've got their attention, the writing has to settle down and some events or characters have to be laid out more clearly - otherwise i think you're asking too much of the reader. A long piece in that continued in this style would get annoying after a bit. (in my opinion!)


Author's Reply:
yeah -will show you a longer piece that i think gets away with this kind of style by introducing such tthings, sort of...will show you/annoy you soon with it and you can tell me what you think :O) Thanks Mark xxx

eddiesolo on 21-05-2006
Coconuts
Hi LD,

Long time no see!! Been busy and had pooter probs so I'm late reading stuff...again.

This is a good piece and well written.

Enjoyed reading it very much.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Si:-) Thanks for reading - nice to see you around town again - it's quiet, this town of ours...xxxlittleditty x


Crumbs (posted on: 28-04-06)
poem

Sometimes, when I go to slice a lunchtime sandwich, I remember the square of our bed, how I always played at swapping sides just to see you better, how you turned your back as I cut the diagonal, how corners appeared and then disappeared, how this feast of mine gets smaller.
Archived comments for Crumbs
dogfrog on 28-04-2006
Crumbs
Liked that one lots LD. Very square and firm. Maybe and its only a maybe you should slice it up and use an extra sharp knife to cut off the wooly words like sometimes.

😀 hope you are well

df

Author's Reply:
Hi Doggie -i thought and thought about it...will think again, but it really is just sometimes ;)...glad you liked it - its the season for shorts, so will think about the snip again 😮 xxxlittleditty x

😀

Apolloneia on 29-04-2006
Crumbs
I like and I mean really like this piece! Great economy of words, top poetry! -xx-

Author's Reply:
i like the corners, glad you think its a good'n - thank you nic - you are much help to me 🙂 xx

freya on 29-04-2006
Crumbs
Littledittybit, like dogfrog and Nicoletta, I too think this a striking and powerful poem. It reminds me of how well our own dylan has mastered the art of employing the minimal to more powerfully evoke the emotional.

the one thing I would suggest is keeping this in the present tense throughout - for the sense of immediacy this would bring to the whole, but mostly because it would be more consistent/ better support ( I feel) your resolution. For some reason too, unusual for me, I immediately thought how very easily your 'message' could be described by the shape of your poem. Though I suspect some might think this unnecessarily gimmicky, I tried it and thought it added to the impact of what you're saying. Hope you don't mind if I put these suggestions into an actual slight edit to show you what I mean? I'll send by PM.

What I'd also like to suggest is that the nib fairy take another look at this ! :O) A very strong and skilled piece, Nicky. Frau-frau freya xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Shelagh -thanks for your ideas here -i havent looked again yet, but i remember not thinking too much about tenses except being happy that cut is cut/cut/cut for some reason or other and wondering about appear/disappear, present, but quickly!......bit of a speed write, ideas would be great -leave them on the sub if you like, glad you think its a good one - thank you :O) xxxlittleditty x

freya on 29-04-2006
Crumbs
So here's the edit, at the request of littleditty. And since she knows how I worry my own poems to death, here's another thought...

recall instead of remember?

WAS searching in my head for a verb which would repeat the 's' or alternately 'ch' sound, but couldn't think of one :O(

Sometimes when I go to slice a lunchtime sandwich,
I remember the square of our bed, how I play
at swapping sides just to see you better,
how you turn your back as I cut
the diagonal, how corners
appear and disappear,
how this feast
of mine gets
smaller.



Author's Reply:
perhaps recall is better meaning, esp. for a present tense poem

Sometimes when I go to slice a lunchtime sandwich,
I recall the square of our bed, how I play
swapping sides just to see you better,

-also, simply,
I see the square of our bed, how I play at

discopants on 29-04-2006
Crumbs
I liked this one too.It evokes thoughts far beyond the mere words. I agree that it might work even better if the present tense were to be employed throughout. Interesting rewrite by Freya- the diagonally cut sandwich poem (and with 'smaller' on its own as the last and smallest line).

Crumbs indeed.

Author's Reply:
Crumbs! It's short! Thanks for leaving your lovely comment - i am very happy that it expands a bit for you - it's always great to see edits and suggestions, interaction -thanks for yours Disco, appreciated xxxlittleditty x

freya on 30-04-2006
Crumbs
discopants, that's startling! I hadn't thought of my suggestion as presenting a visual 'diagonally cut sandwich', but you're right. It does, sort of! Of course, if Nicky changes any of the words, or cuts anything that will change this effect.

I was thinking more along the lines of this shape adding emphasis to the loss and hurt being felt and expressed by the speaker ie his/her perception of a diminishing affection and care on the part of a lover. A slipping away of love. I only know the poem spoke to me in that way, and keenly.

Author's Reply:
Hello Shelagh - a slipping away of love, yes, may be this is felt more keenly in a present tense version? I am wondering if it works so well to emphasise the slipping away of time, and the distancing - but i just woke up and the coffee hasnt really worked yet - so i will read them both again in a bit. Your diagonally cut sandwich is great! Visually -the end image for me was a circular plate and a few starlike crumbs - Thank you xxxlittleditty x

Kat on 30-04-2006
Crumbs
ld, here is another cracker/sandwich from you! And I love Shelagh's diagonal - super poetry all round - great title and conceit.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Kat - glad you like it -did you also notice that mine looks like one of those sandwiches that embarrassingly falls apart? (I hate that, especially when talking to someone new at the beach *tuts* ) Or that it is the bed and someone fell out, swapping sides? I'm glad not - as that would be dotty - Shelaghs Sarnie is a perfectly sliced shooting star - im sorry, i'm drifting...glad you liked it (can you tell i'm not sober? :o) Thanks for commenting, *hic* on holiday xxxlittleditty x

Zoya on 30-04-2006
Crumbs
Yeah, sometimes we are reminded of the most beautiful moments, most intimate moments by things so mundane as a sandwich; Then go on building analogies of the oddest kind, and take hem to the logical end, like here, the feast gets smaller, as probably the bed got smaller, and then the feast on the bed too, may be, got smaller...
***Hugs for an inspired piece of poesy***
Love, Zoya

Author's Reply:
HI Zoya -thanks for your thoughts on this posey - glad you enjoyed it - i like the corners, thank you xxxlittleditty x




littleditty on 01-05-2006
Crumbs
HI Zoya -thanks for your thoughts on this posey - glad you enjoyed it - i like the corners, thank you xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

teifii on 02-05-2006
Crumbs
I really like this one. Such an apt metaphor. I like the diagonal one too, couldn't believe my eyes when I read that Sheelagh had not actually done it deliberately ax a cut slice. Anywy the end result is great.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - glad you like it - Shelaghs edit is great - thanks Daff xxx

RDLarson on 03-05-2006
Crumbs
more than just slightly wonderful. I enjoyed every word. A reader who loved it.

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much RD - i feel encouraged - very glad you enjoyed it xxxlittleditty x

Jay on 04-05-2006
Crumbs
Ooooh. Me likey a lot. A lot of thought I think for a lunch time sandweege. The ending was delicious. 😛

jenn. x

Author's Reply:
Hello Jenn - bit of a ponderer, well, tis just a quick snack, sometimes the raw ingredients are a bit tasty -the ending was delicious? Glad you thought so 🙂 thanks for telling me 😛 xxxlittleditty x


8 Prawns (posted on: 28-04-06)
still tinkering...

I need 8 prawns from the nets, not hawking or for hawking as such as I'll have earnt them, pulling on the ropes. It'll not be scraps, stolen fingers chased away by 'That's enough now, it's 30 of us pull in the catch.' No - when I cook for you, I will tell of my day, cutting the onion, large and fresh - stinging real good, because one fat prawn bought it, one ring for every years experience in the market. She unpeeled me for it, hard - but agreed a corriander handful and a clove of garlic to sweep the coconuts from her yard. I will cut the top and pour the water; tell you of the nets, how they pulled so, 2 lines, 15 strong to the arc of the boat; easy sea eagles, people running, silver weight jumping. They are excited - to them, fishes are coins; for me, 8 prawns: 8 for the wood at my back; for one Tiger, costly I think - too nice for spice and just enough rice. One King for his supper and we'll have the wine she makes from cashew and one sprig of thyme. So, I pull; I am pulled by our daily need and what we each must do, for I am still to hear you ask 'So, why three for me, and only two for you?'
Archived comments for 8 Prawns
Sunken on 28-04-2006
8 Prawns
Not only are you a little Ditty, but also a little tinker. This, my dear Little of aforementioned Ditty fame, put me in mind of deep sea sofa diving just off the north coast of living room. After netting £1.50, a sticky lolly and an assortment of girlie hair-clips I trundled home and got a smack in the mouth
)-: 'How am I to feed a family of five on this!?' Ahem, sorry Dittster, my mind wandered like a cloud of lonely fame. Please except a ten by way of an apology. Enjoy apples, they're great. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he hugs little old ladies at bus stops when no ones looking

Author's Reply:
and i forgot this - http://www.dfsonline.co.uk/storefinder/storefind.php

littleditty on 28-04-2006
8 Prawns
Dear Sunken - there are times when i repeatedly find notes on the road and others when the sofa is bare - is this one too sugary? You gave it a ten and confessed to hugging - i think it's still too sweet for a bag of sherbert lemons - 😮 Thanks for your monkeyness - 1.50's not bad -you just need more sofas ...DFS...what does it stand for? xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

RDLarson on 04-05-2006
8 Prawns
Stunningly real and touching the joys of simplicity. How do you know the words? My days of shrimp are chronicled here, only with traps instead of lines, but all the same - onion wine butter garlic.

Author's Reply:
Hi RD - thank you -glad you liked these lines - onion wine butter garlic xxxlittleditty x


Are you leaving myself? (posted on: 24-04-06)
poem

I shuffle, repack my bag, Are you leaving myself? lock the door, check it, stand by the sofa in a trance waiting for Epiphany to walk through the door, set me on my feet, click her fingers and say 'Let's go - have you got everything?'
Archived comments for Are you leaving myself?
Apolloneia on 24-04-2006
poem
cool short poem! made me smile. >8D
-xx-x

Author's Reply:
Only an ***8? Your line makes it worth at least a 9 i think - you are toooo hard on yourself 😀 xxxRolf xnx

Sunken on 24-04-2006
poem
I believe short to be the new black, the new rock n roll, the new wave of new wave. I am hoping it will be reflected in a hem-line near me soon. This poem is all of the above. It puts me in mind of the following - Tracy Barlow's trembling bottom lip, Jason Orange's suitcase (both before and after the Take That reunion) and, of course, Turnips! I hope this helps. Thanks. Stay both Little and Ditty.

s
u
n
k
e
n

sponsored by dust

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken -you are right about the hemlines - it is time to wear shorts already here, black ones.- shorts are the new black - of course it helps - thanks:D xxxlittleditty x

Romany on 24-04-2006
poem
Nice; snappy, sharp, almost peremptory. I like it!
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany -thank you for reading it - i'm glad you liked it 🙂 xxxlittleditty x

Jen_Christabel on 24-04-2006
poem
Succint and v.good.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Jennifer:O) Thanks for reading - i'm glad you liked it, succint, thanks for telling me xxxlittleditty x

Kat on 25-04-2006
poem
Love this, ld! Very, very good.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Dear Kat -I trust your judgement and all the more appreciated when i have the jitters - so thank you Kat 😀 xxx

Zoya on 25-04-2006
Are you leaving myself?
SHORT, SNAPPY, SMART, LIKE THE SNAP OF THAT FINGER.
Only if it was so easy in life to leave oneself like that.
Very intriguing piece.
Love,
Zoya

Author's Reply:
HI Zoya - glad you found it intriguing - and if only it was so easy to come back?...thanks for commenting and such a huge 10 xxxlittleditty x


Snake (posted on: 24-04-06)
poem

Condemned to be a belly on the earth, you have learnt to slither masterfully around the beehive, away from the beating of bamboo sticks, riding the air in a ripple of desert sand. In the whoop and holler of discovery, lengths of you hypnotize spiralled eyes unravelling waves of dancing feet in a strike, a miss and retreat. Later, I wonder of your bite, hidden in tall grass, quiet. You are a toothless face on the fence skirting immunity or else beautifully venomous, contemplating legs, hips; no footsteps, no trace; just movement, honey and the lick of escaping lips.
Archived comments for Snake
Apolloneia on 24-04-2006
Snake
Snakes ... very misunderstood creatures. Once upon a time, my two cousins and I, were playing in a corn field (yes there was a time when Kumu was not afraid of cornfields and fields and insects in general -- in fact it was in this particular Summer 1976 when the bee stang my hand) and a snake was crawled stealthily between my feet, they started yelling and running, I was looking at it holding my breath until it left. I thought I was fearless, until the bee a few days later made its appearance. I remember looking at the bee too, I thought it would play with my hand and leave too. Good-bye easiness and fearlesness with nature...ever since that bite. I think snakes are telepathetically communicative. Can't say the same thing about bees. I don't know why I'm saying all this. Here! publicly! in a comment box I can't edit! is it wise?? oh dear... very good poem! -xx-x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Nic - glad you thought it was a good one - bites and stings - i guess we remember them cos they h.u.r.t. Did i ever tell you about the Hornet in France 😮 ? What was the poem about? - i saw a snake here, a few snakes 😮 and i am missing Brasil and europe just a bit xxx thanks for commenting, snakes are, for sure, - bees too i think - fortunately i can edit -that's unfair isnt it? 😀 xxxnx (update:you are right about bees:)

Apolloneia on 24-04-2006
Snake
had not was

Author's Reply:
and frogs too - i have been communing with the one who sits on the Nautilus shell - he's quite sweet xxx

Apolloneia on 24-04-2006
Snake
1977 not 1976. I think. Certainly not 1978.

by the way: Condemned to be a belly on the earth,

this sounds as if it originates from religious beliefs.

Author's Reply:
1977 - yup -big year that one - there was a blackout in New York lasted 25 hours -and one for me that lasted 25 years! Yes -and my belly on the earth is after some breakfast at a restaurant called HOME - they have run out of coffee here and...it takes me some time to wake up 😉 xxxlittleditty x

Romany on 24-04-2006
Snake
I love the 'condemned to be a belly on the earth line.' In fact this is full of interesting little twists and turns; much like the snake itself!
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Romany -this poem and your lovely comments are making me very hungry for breakfast - we are all bellies on the earth and mine is rumbling! Glad you like the twists and turns xxxlittleditty x

Jen_Christabel on 24-04-2006
Snake
There's some great lines in this, good read.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
HI Jennifer:O) Glad you like some of the lines - thanks for telling me you enjoyed this one xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 25-04-2006
Snake
It's good to hear of snakes contemplating hips and legs. Do you think they would go so far as to contemplate designer footwear too Ms. Ditty of Little fame? A very accomplished piece in my dirty little opinion. I tried polishing my opinion once with that Brasso stuff, it just went green though )-:
I hope this helps. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

raised on a diet of turnips

Author's Reply:
I dont know Sunken of Turnip, I just don't know - are FlipFlops designer footwear? Apparently they are (i was just informed) thanks for saying you think its accomplished in your dirty opinion - of course it helps - thank you monkey xxxlittle of Ditty x

teifii on 26-04-2006
Snake
Roll over D.H.Lawrence and make room for an equal!
Daff

Author's Reply:
Daff!!! Thank you - blimey and gosh 🙂 xxxlittleditty x

stolenbeauty on 29-04-2006
Snake
Very good! I have been studying a lot of snake poetry in English Lit classes recently, and I have to say I far prefer this one to any of the ones my curriculum picks out! Thank you for sharing, hope to read more like this soon.
Stolen xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Stolen - I am really glad you did - from an English Lit teacher, i really thank you for commenting 😀 xxxlittleMissDittyx


stolenbeauty on 29-04-2006
Snake
Just to let you know - I'm the student not the teacher! Hense I've been studying English Lit not teaching it! whoops!
Stolen x

Author's Reply:
I know 😀 -and i'm the English teacher who is now more the student, taking a break from Curiculums - your poems this week could teach us all a few things - well done to you xxldx

narcissa on 29-04-2006
Snake
This is such a poem full of rich images, sounds, smells and sensations. It's incredible! Like technicolour 😀
The direct use of "you" is very effective - I like it!
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Hello Laura -thank you very much - it is good to hear you like this one, it wrote itself quite quickly so any
suggestions/ideas welcome on this or any - thanks for commenting 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Abel on 01-05-2006
Snake
Wonderful, LD. Do I sense a little double entendre? Well done!

Ward

Author's Reply:
HI Ward -thank you, very glad you like it - and you understood it twice? Wonderful! 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 04-05-2006
Snake
Hiya LD, I am glad to finally read this 'snake' poem. I'm with Ward. A fine read but it seems a bit of a double entendre to me too. Which is alllllllllllll good! lol
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
HI Jolen *adjusts bi-focals* hmm...i have reread this 'snake' poem and i do declare there does seem to be something in what you and Ward have pointed out 😮 ...poems eh?...*tuts*

Thanks Jolen 😉 - glad you liked it xxxlittleditty x


Zoya on 28-05-2006
Snake
There s something mysterious about snakes, come to think of it, they are very graceful creatures, slithering artfully, noiselessly about.
In India there are legends about female snakes, taking revenge on people who kill there males, especially during the act of mating...they say such a snake never forgets the injury, and seeks the killer out and stings...
There is a special form of classical and folk dance as well, called the snake-dance. We hold great fascination for these creatures in our country.
Some religious sects even worship snakes, feeding them with milk.
Oh, I could tell you so many stories about these reptiles.
An excellent write.
Thanks for sharing.
love, xxx, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Hi Zoya -Thank you for your lovely comment -i am afraid this poem was inspired by probably a male snake; in Goa one was found in the kiosk shop and there was a 'whoop and holler' alright! If he has a female, I hope his female exacts revenge as the boys attacked it, got him eventually - and , i was told, it turned out he wasn't even poisonous 🙁 Your examples would inspire better poems i think! Thank you very much for reading and commenting xxxlittleditty x


Jigsaw (posted on: 17-04-06)
just Jigsaw 🙂

Framed on a wall, a pretty picture with a piece missing; the one lost, vacuumed; part of the eye of an insignificant portrait, masked by crayon so nobody noticed; the picture of its journey, much more interesting.
Archived comments for Jigsaw
Apolloneia on 17-04-2006
Jigsaw
Hey, what a great edit! Liked this a lot! 😀

Author's Reply:
HI Nic - jigzaw - not sure about it...i think there are/were more edits to come - so you think this one is good - cool. 😀 GoodMorning!

Sunken on 17-04-2006
Jigsaw
You never see jigsaws of jigsaws do ya? It makes my blood boil, like a kettle. Mr. Goth is right, we all have bits missing. I had a toe nail removed once because it wasn't growing right. I sometimes think that my body is out to get me. I hope this helps? Top - as ever. Made me think of icing sugar, which can't be bad. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
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n


Author's Reply:
That's painful - all that pain for a missing bit? But you get to tell the tale - did you have a huge bandage? There was a young lad on the beach who we tried not to stare at -both his feet were bandaged up at the front and he walked on his heels looking a littlepenguin - perhaps he'd had his toenails done? or burnt both feet on the hot sand while he was out searching for shells? Nobody knows. Icing sugar -that's sweet - thank you Sunken - ps - i found the magic conch - thanks xxxlittleditty x

Kat on 17-04-2006
Jigsaw
I had read this early this morning, and on re-reading, it seems to have an extra oomph which definitely does it for me - another intriguing puzzler from your poetic quill, ld - much enjoyed, and it's not a Rubik's cube to me either (could never work those out!).

Kittykat x

Author's Reply:
Hooray -for the extra oomph - not a Rubik's cube is a good thing - was it my dear sister who would peel off a sticker or two and switch them just to watch me puzzle...hmmm...cheeky - the poem- an insignificant portrait and i am really happy you enjoyed it -thanks for reading, off to read your whale trip again xxxlittleditty x

shackleton on 18-04-2006
Jigsaw
Fascinating poem, LD. Almost everything in life can be seen as a jigsaw with at least one piece missing. Good one!

Author's Reply:
Hello Shackleton -if it was a little fascinating i am glad, thanks for telling me - very happy you liked it -cheers! xxxlittleditty x

teifii on 19-04-2006
Jigsaw
How like life. There's aways a missing piece isn't there? And I suppose we do our best to crayon them over.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Yeah -we try :O) Thanks for reading and commenting Daff xxxlittleditty x

Jay on 22-04-2006
Jigsaw
Fill me in. Fill me in.
Nice write. 🙂

Jenndo-san.
x @:P

Author's Reply:
Hey Jenndo-chan *passes a crayon* Glad you liked this one - where's yours? Don't think i haven't noticed there are serious gaps in your subbing of late - where are your crayons Miss, hmm? Thanks for commenting on this whimsy one xxxlittleof:Ditty x

Jolen on 22-04-2006
Jigsaw
OHhhhhhhhhhh I have to hate you! I have just been thinking of doing a piece like this, but of course you nailed it and now I don't have too. GREAT JOB HERE Nicky! as usual from your wonderful pen.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Don't hate me ;( tis just a littlepoem about a missing piece - i'm sure you have plenty of pieces missing over there in the continent of Jolen's America - in fact -where's your sub???? Did i miss it? I am off to check forthwith - thanks for telling me you like this one xxxlittle:Ditty x

Zoya on 02-07-2006
Jigsaw
Neatly done, thought provoking, symbolic, all rolled into one! And, what happened to the missing piece? That too in the eye!
We in India have Tiger Pataudi, the Cricketing legend, who played in his time at the prestigious Lords, with an artificial eye for cover-up (so that nobody noticed). He is the most handsome one eyed man I've know, and he was a lady killer too, still is... Got him self the most popular actress of Indian screen then, as his wife...Just like Arthur Miller got Marlyn Monroe as his wife... My God! I have really gone hay-wire with my ramblings...sorry about that...got carried away...Just for an Eye!
**Hugs for that Eye**
Love, xxx, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Gosh Zoya - i totally didnt get this message! A year ago nearly?! i am just looking at this one again as it goes with another that i wrote called Canvas which i will have to sub here - i had no idea your message was here - thank you for it - i am sorry not to have seen it or get any notification - i speed along too quickly sometimes, so i am glad to have found this now - hope you are well Zoya xxx


Talking Pond (posted on: 14-04-06)
poem

People come with such a thirst to drink, bathe and ask will they be richer, will they be wise, in this mythical place by the sea, where silver statuettes fountain fresh ripples on a talking pond; they clap and it bubbles, they speak and it replies, answers are inked, inkled selectively; while Ganesha winks from behind a garland of orange one burp of air for a yes, two for a no.
Archived comments for Talking Pond
ruadh on 14-04-2006
Talking Pond
Love the image this creates of Ganesha at the end, so apt somehow. Nicely done.

ailsa

Author's Reply:
Hi alisa - very glad you enjoyed it -thank you for telling me :o) xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 14-04-2006
Talking Pond
Very good Nicky 😀

Author's Reply:
You think so? 😀 Thanks ...and for fiddling with the lines, thanks too xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 14-04-2006
Talking Pond
We should be paying some of your travel expenses getting these wonderful flashes of India on a regular basis. I love the feeling of a place where you just have to wait and something, however impercetible, will happen and utterly fascinate. The ending is just such an eventuality which I believe really could happen there even if that puts me in the fundamentalist camp. Charmed. India really was the jewel in the crown of that other less endowed place you're familiar with. Canada was the clasp.

Author's Reply:
oops 😮

littleditty on 14-04-2006
Talking Pond
There is one here i heard talk of -but the one i stayed at was in Bali1990, happens there too -bubble, bubble toil and trouble - and Ganesha and all the shrines are covered with garlands of flowers. Seedier -European women would go and pick up young and very young boys, nod for a yes...etc Anyhow -nic sorted the ending -good innit - i may go back to this, havent looked since. Travel expenses! Wouldn't that be nice! Thanks Ross - Canada the clasp -we going to get a poem about that? I wonder what you mean? Thanks for visiting xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 16-04-2006
Talking Pond
You are a clever little Ditty and no mistake. I am often extremely ignorant as to the stories behind your poems Ms. Ditty, but they are still great to read. This one put me in mind of a tadpole I once knew named Derek. He was into Blondie of Debbie Harry fame, he never quite got over her insistence to pursue a solo career. I hope that this in-depth critique helps in some way? Thanks young Little for continuing to be Ditty.

s
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somewhere over a car crash

Author's Reply:
Derek the Tadpole? His cousins have a fondness for forgetful toothbrushes, if only i was clever and had remembered my handy toothbrush case, none of this would ever have happened. I was talking about Debbie today - we agreed she can do what she likes as we have the cd's and have banned any parallel lines jokes -so i can go to my hut and stop the ants eating my easter caramel. Thanks MOnkey -for being the best critter in the Jungle xxxlittleOfDitty x


The Shawl (posted on: 14-04-06)
poem

I talked about needlepoint with a man from Kashmir. Embroidering by hand leaves thread behind, knots, looping pictures of browned fingers busy through the Monsoon of June. He told me he would make one for you and send it charmed: for your shoulders, birds; and for your arms, branches of Almond and Marigold. So you will never feel the weight of it, for the chill of the night or an aching heart, warming pink falling petals confetti to a delicate silver clasp, fashioned by an old hand, carved in the flowers of Royalty; and imagined in the breeze, a butterfly ring, fraying tassels trailing the back of your chair; a fluttering around your shoulders before it gets there.
Archived comments for The Shawl
teifii on 14-04-2006
The Shawl
That's really beautiful. It brings the embroidery right in front of one's eyes and also the tenderness for the intended recipient. Lovely
Daff

Author's Reply:
Dear Daff - that's what i tried to write - glad you liked it, thanks for telling me xxxlittleditty x

Jen_Christabel on 14-04-2006
The Shawl
This is soooooo lovely, a fab write.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
Hi Jennifer:O) i wanted some 'soooooo lovely' about it - thanks for reading -glad you enjoyed the shawl xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 14-04-2006
The Shawl
I'm with Daff here Nicky;
This is delicate and the imagery is stunning!! Being a fan of knots, I can really appreciate this as well.*slyly smiling*

Your work is always a pleasure for the reader.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen:) glad its a pleasure - happy you read these lines of mine, thank you xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 14-04-2006
The Shawl
This seems to be a lesson in the difference between philosophy and poetry. You're really absorbing the sensual and sensuous experience of the sub-continent in a manner that doesn't suffer from the 'ex-pat' feeling which most writers bring to such work, even very famous ones. Beautiful to read again and again. Jolen and I are on our best Easter Friday behaviour. That may not mean anything where you are.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ross! perhaps i am not much of a pat and more the gypsy - but this trip has been a rest, a hut of my own - first since October, so i have simply been feeling quite at home. Not speaking much is good for the writing i think - there is some Easter here - Hindu/Muslim/Christian mix, no bunny but a frog was sitting on my toothbrush this morning - eggs? There are animals everywhere and cotton wool is falling from the cooton wool tree so the grass huts look covered with snow - i like it here! Glad you like the poem - thank you :O) xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 15-04-2006
The Shawl
SOS baby, someone try to rescue me... sorry Ditty, I have a song in my head by a woman named Ribenna who is like an orgasm just waiting to happen - I mean talk about Phhooarrrr. Anyway, sorry - none of this is important right now. I hear that voting is important, but I can't find any elections taking place today so I have decided to vote for you instead. I hope you don't mind. You have won by the way, as no one else was standing. I'm not sure what you have to do now. If I were you I'd just smile and lie a lot, it seems to work for that Bush fella. Not that you're anything like him. You are my favourite little in the whole wide world. I have two little fingers, and I even think you're better than them! Thanks. Please feel free to ban me from future subs by emailing that Anreathology woman. She is very helpful and always obliging.

s
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sos baby, someone try to rescue me....

Author's Reply:
Did you know that Twinings Blackcurrant tastes a lot like real Ribena? Lalala lalala la la lala la Ohhh
You know I never felt like this before Lalala lalala la la lala la Ohhh Feels like something real - so we can enjoy it also at teatime. ban. short for banana? - sure, if you like - i'll ask. Thank you Monkey :O)xxxlittleditty x

Kat on 16-04-2006
The Shawl
ld, you are on a whirlwind whirl of wonderful inspiration - enjoying your beautiful poetry very much indeed - quite exquisite - another great ending here.

Happy Easter!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Happy Easter Kat! You have just reminded me that i have half a stick of caramel chocolate in my hut *smiles* and i am now hoping that the ants haven't marched on in and claimed it already 😮 - i am all out of inspiration at the moment though -tired - but i am very happy that you liked this one - that's great - i will go and see where the inspiration has gone to, reclaiming my caramel might help to start - will look for yours tomorrow - thank you Kat :O) xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 16-04-2006
The Shawl
I like this one too, but I prefer your other submission Talking Pond for some reason. But I do think it's a good poem. 😮

*haven't you missed Europe? pffff*

Author's Reply:
Well, its understandable -talking pond has got burps in it and this one - tis just a shawl, but she liked it -Europe? Pffffpoo* Thanks Nic xxxnx

Romany on 16-04-2006
The Shawl
I think this is lovely too; don't want to go too deep as I am knackered (exhausting weekend with very sick neice!) Just wanted to tell you I like it,
Romany.

Author's Reply:
a sick neice:o hope all is on the mend - thanks for telling me you liked this one -a sentimental one, thank you Romany xxxlittleditty x

Dazza on 18-04-2006
The Shawl
What a great poem! Really great and making me green that i can only pump out brash little numbers with no elegance. Should have been nibbed! Dazza.

Author's Reply:
brash little numbers with no elegance. PFFFFfffff - Sir - your poems may be often little but they are perfectly formed *tuts/rollseyesEtc* Glad you liked this one Dazza - it seems the nib person just was waiting for a nod from you *looks up* - Thanks Dazzler xxxlittleditty x

Zoya on 21-04-2006
The Shawl
And warm you up gently as you sit
Basking in the wintry Sun,
On the banks of the serene Dal,
Where Shikaras ply slowly creating a lul...

Beautiful imagery warms up to the heart like a warm Pashmina shawl you describe!


Author's Reply:
Hello Zoya :O) - i'm glad you liked this Pashmina! Thank you for reading and commenting xxxlittleditty x


Latina (posted on: 10-04-06)
a friend sent me a photo of a gypsy child - this is a different picture of gypsy woman.

At whatever hour, whenever there is Latin music, she is Zorro or a beautiful woman with a waist. The colour red appears either on a skirt, the white of a shawl or the pink of a flower on the earth and she dances a while in a courtyard, through the ceramic of low doorways, over moonbacked teracotta tiles. The air is garlic and magnolia. The shadows may smoke a cigar. Whether it is beans and rice, a kitchen or a fire; gherkin, goulash, paprika, chili, tapas or tortilla, she salsas. In any gypsy recipe the night is ripe with lips; the spirit of revolution always, in the revolution of her hips. (thinking of alternative endings) thanks beks: In all gypsy recipes the night is ripe with lips and in the simple sway of hips, a revolution. In every gypsy recipe the night is ripe with lips and she stirs the simple sway of hips in revolution
Archived comments for Latina
Apolloneia on 10-04-2006
Latina
So beautifully and well written, very well done Nicky.
Gherkin Salutations!
xx>8)xxx

Author's Reply:
GoodMorning Nic :O) -i want to send you the attempt at audio i made - will try - the middle verse is a bit tricky - the music for this is a cool latin track that has helped the pacing of this one, the idea: the Indian pic from Liz, Freda poem Skeletons1954, to this one - a GypsyWoman poem - i hope is it sensuous and wanders over from America to Europe and back again ;o) i am not allowed to cut the gherkin, right? Or make a 'this is a fine pickle you got me into' joke? Ok - but i will mention that the Cacti community are staging a protest demanding extra security measures around their schools after a kidnapping on Vinegar Street. An unsavoury business - fortunately, a bunch of Dill is helping General Pickle and her team to complete the checking of all competition Jars before the Spitfire Flyby and The Best Hula Student sings with The Pickled Eggs - Down with The Shmoo xxxlittleditty x

red-dragon on 10-04-2006
Latina
You have caught her spirit well - a lilting poem, expressing the fire within. Ann

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ann :O) - a lovely comment -i'm glad you saw some fire and that her spirit came through - thank you for telling me xxxlittleditty x

Dazza on 10-04-2006
Latina
Sensory power poem of the highest order, really, really good. Dazpacho.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Dazpacho - its the music that wrote this one - glad you liked it *salsas* xxxlittleditty x

bektron on 10-04-2006
Latina
Greetings O' Malenky-Ditty,
I always say and anyone will tell you this, you can never have too many gherkins in a poem- but with gherkins you must always be careful that they don't steam in, take over the poem and grab all the attention to themselves- (which is a well documented gherkin characteristic) once utilised in a poem a gherkin must must must ( cardinal rule etc.) never be cut! Because it's a sad fact that sliced gherkins are just no good in poetry- sandwiches yes- poetry no. I hope you're taking all this in? I don't give pickle advice to just anyone you know.
Anyway good strong vivid poem, favourite lines the garlic and magnolia one, and the pink of a flower etc... really sensory, although I have to say, the last stanza not quite doing it for me *strokes beard* and as great great granny bektron always used to say'may your gherkins always be crunchy'
;^)
beksx


Author's Reply:
Beks? *hic* is that you dear? *falls over* i am pickled in local spirits and have been here hours typing this sentence. Goulash is a bit of a 'take over' word too -i sight mwish them around.... *mmmm...Hungarain stew* (The gherkin was symbolic of our islands present struggle, replacing obvious cacti references *SPITS*) - should this pickled icon be put in second place to a meat stew? I will think on it soberly on the morrow - i am sorry the last verse was less than crisp - crunchy would have been acceptable but limp? I do apologise. The pink is a bit girlish, but *twirls moostache* i think i like those lines too - thanks beks :O)- *passes pickle* xxxlittleditty x *passes out...*

Lightweight on 10-04-2006
Latina
(She puffs out her chest in a proud sisterly fashion) Congratulations on the nib! truly inspiring : I had a little dance around the kitchen this morning after reading it (pre nib)! Couldn't find any gherkins in the fridge so made lunch with a cumberland sauce, which I think is ok to be sent in as a representative when needed for lunch or literature (in this particular circumstance anyway) Hope you and beks approve

love ya, Lightweight xxx

Author's Reply:
Are you suggesting replacing the gherkin 😮 Holy cow:o Are you a Shmoo? Surely not...(see nics page for blog address i think..?)This is treason, to even mention cumberland sauce - you are likely to be arrested - but i'm glad you danced around the kitchen, stiring the pot, clever;o) - glad you liked this one - where's yours hmmm? :o) see you soon xxxnx (reply edited now sober -Feni season)


Apolloneia on 11-04-2006
Latina
I think indeed something must be done with that final stanza. Are you absolutely happy with it? It's such a lovely poem really!

Author's Reply:
i'm happy with it - but i'll try some others too - got one? xxxlittleditty x

bektron on 11-04-2006
Latina
Right I'm back again and I'm hungover- so let's get down to the nitty gritty, litle ditty-
i'm thinking the reason it's not working ( for me of course I can't speak for anyone else) is the easy rhyme
it's like a kind of disappointing cop out at the end of an otherwise well structured piece-

In any gypsy recipe
the night is ripe with lips;
the spirit of revolution always,
in the revolution of her hips.

the night is ripe with lips is a good strong line - the ripe/lips working really nicely together, don't know about 'the spirit' of revolution- 'her spirit, a revolution- perhaps and you've got revolution twice in quick succession-...just thinking out loud but maybe the lines could be altered so that hips and lips are not set to rhyme, something like this- sort of...

In all gypsy recipes
the night is ripe with lips
and in the simple sway
of hips a revolution


beksx





Author's Reply:
hi Bektonica - now - i kinda like that neat rhyme at the end - there were a lot of different kinds of revolutions, and revolutions are so good, i had to name them twice! Kinda goes with the song too -cha cha cha - however -i know that feeling your having -so i will try and think of the ending differently and try something a little less contrived - thank you Mrs *salutes* xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 11-04-2006
Latina
I met a gypsy woman once who reckoned she could see aura's. She said mine was black. I reckon she only said this because I had earlier refused to give her a tenner for what amounted to nothing more than a pebble she had previously procured from the pavement outside. And anyway, I kinda like the idea of having a black aura - it compliments my red eyes. Another fine piece that deserves far more than the mindless prattle of a munky. Well done on the nib young Ditty girl. Take care and lotions.

s
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Southport 3 - William it was really nothing 2

Author's Reply:
*tuts* just a tenner? didn't you haggle? A dark day indeed. Apparently, the Ayurvedic doctor says morning urine is also very good as an eye bath for red eyes - (warning: does not work as well on photographs) Thanks for your prattle dear monkey xxxDitty of Little x

Kat on 11-04-2006
Latina
ld, another very fine poem from you - sensual and delicious. I think that last stanza works as is because somehow it sets the right tone (almost tongue-in-cheek?) - a bit saucy, a bit cheeky and I like the two 'revolutions'. Kind of like the person is not taking themselves too seriously but is more than aware of their powers. No idea if any of that makes sense. *takes off head and rattles it*

Great work!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Sensual and delicious = 😀 - You got the saucy end bit described just right - its like that and makes perfect sense - latin music is best like that no? -there is a charming tease in the stop and start to latin music - you see that, i think - glad you liked it, thanks Kat xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 11-04-2006
Latina
Absooooooooooolutely delicious. I like the rhyme at the end, it's sort of lends a fade effect to the music, much like you'd hear on a cd or album for us old folks. Delectible images and this makes the reader want to dance. I very much enjoyed this one Nicky.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
HI Joleeeen! There is a great album crackle at the beginning of the track - and it does make you want to dance! - i was twirling in my hut and wrote the poem! I'm glad you enjoyed this one -i enjoyed writing it -thank you for dancing along xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 11-04-2006
Latina
There is so much energy in this poem, I think your edit based on Bek's suggestion is really good.

Author's Reply:
*whistles* I'm glad you and Beks got me thinking about opening it up a bit at the end - still getting my head around it as it is very attatched to a song - i should come back to this one in a while and see again. Thanks Nic, when i can record something that doesnt skip all over the place, if the dogs stop barking - i'll send you the track and voice! I am hoping the internet will tell me who it is by. *hums* xxxlittleditty x

teifii on 12-04-2006
Latina
Second attempt at posting. My computer went off line and the comment got into the box on Kat's poem.
Anyway here goes.
Lovely piece, Nicki. Especially liked the magnolia and garlic and colour red. Have to admit I also liked Beks ending with one revolution.
Daff






Author's Reply:
Dear Daff - glad you liked it - i like the original last verse and am getting my head around a different approach - glad to have been prodded by the Gherkin Girls and will fiddle with it later. Thank you Daff xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 12-04-2006
Latina
This is a sassy and fun poem. It's also colourful and dynamic. I like the ending just as it is. Very fine.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ross - there's another now called The Shawl, and one that your Ganesha pic reminded me to write - a Talking Pond, in Bali - will sub them next - *wipes brow* - i'm working too hard *tuts* supposed to be on holiday, taking it easy a bit - fortunately it is a friends birthday tomorrow and the day under the influence, on the beach should see me on a day trip away from the screen! Hope you are fine -glad you liked this one -sassy and fun, colurful and dynamic - she'll like that.. xxxlittleditty x

Abel on 12-04-2006
Latina
Just love this one. Having just returned from South Florida, it hits a familiar note with me. Also, I love Salsa music, and have for years.

FINE write.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Great! Glad you do - hope to become a bit more musical this year -regret that i cant play any musical instrument well enough for anyone else to hear! Going to Brazil and will find a porch and a guitar - and this time also a book and even a teacher! Get a keyboard, some drums, ooooooow and some maracas and a flute :D, take up the clarinet again, - and the cello? *swoons*- see? Jackie of all trades, mistress of none! I do want to experiment with audio - need a music program on my laptop, and a keyboard at least right? Salsa is a beautiful dance - glad you enjoyed Latina, thanks Ward xxxlittleditty x

Jen_Christabel on 13-04-2006
Latina
I loved the metaphors here...
The air is garlic and magnolia.
The shadows may smoke a cigar

Great stuff

Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
HI Jennifer :O) - the cigar line is my favourite one - i'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for telling me 🙂 xxxlittleditty x

RDLarson on 14-04-2006
Latina
I thought gypsies were Romanians; in any case this is delightful and vivacious without being ordinary. Very very nice. Two big veryS, little ditty.

Author's Reply:
Yes, but gypsies move about quite a wandering bit, don't they? Poem for the wanderers/displaced - the spices in this travel some, to wherever the have made their home. I am interested in recipes, where they came from - glad you found it lively and thank you for the 2 big veryS xxxlittleditty x

Yutka on 17-04-2006
Latina
Great poem, Little ditty! I like your gipsy child and her sensual garlicky danse! The second end solution does it for me:

the night is ripe with lips
and in the simple sway
of hips, a revolution.

As I say, for me, its the better end.
In admiration
Yutka:)


Author's Reply:
HI Yutka:) Nice ending - thanks for reading this littledance -glad you enjoyed xxxlittleditty x


Free Style (posted on: 07-04-06)
whimsy

It is quiet tonight. Tepid. Words do not mean words. An alias hangs from a branch in allegory, alluding to shape when form is so much less than content.
Archived comments for Free Style
Apolloneia on 07-04-2006
Free Style
Now this can become either shorter or longer, here is a shorter version and a longer version can be sent soon upon request!

It is tepidly quiet tonight. Words
do not mean words. An alias
hangs from a branch,
alluding to shape when
form is so much less than content.


But I like it!!!
Nicopopxxx

Author's Reply:
WOT? NO ALLEGORY??? 😮 ...but i like it!!! hmm - just an alias *twiddles moostache* - yes please, the longer one too! Thanks Nic xxxnx

red-dragon on 07-04-2006
Free Style
Is it me, or can I interpret 'content' in two ways, both of which make sense? I think I know which way you want it to read, though. Ann

Author's Reply:
HI Ann - yes, both ways - thank you for visiting this whimsy one -cheers xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 07-04-2006
Free Style
I am unable to contemplate 'whimsy' at the moment Ms. Ditty of Little fame as I am up to my neck in 'uncertainty'. I shall return to your sub when 'whimsy' becomes more practical. I hope it's sooner rather than later. When you say, 'Allegory' are you on about an Austin Allegory of 1970's British Leyland crap car fame? Trade glances with an actor from Byker Grove and post a lettuce leaf through a strangers letter-box (but only if they appear to be iron deficient). Thanks.

s
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fighting for his right not to party

Author's Reply:
fighting for his right not to party - so you read my other one -Sound System? I am considering a silent protest with the other old folk from the hills - we shall surround them on the beaches....etc...i am replying in such a manner as, at the mo, i really dont know what i was going on about up there - but my difficulty choosing from the increasing variety of yoghurts at the supermarket had something to do with it. I imagine you are a 'content over style' kind of monkey - and you had an Austin Allegory? Be proud - be very proud xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 07-04-2006
Free Style
Nicky;
What a wonderful way to give shape to 'free style'. Very clever and a pretty potent bit of 'whimsy'

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jolen! Glad you got something from it - my mind has gone completely blank at the mo and i cant remember much of what i was thinking when i wrote it! That's whimsy for ya! xxxlittleditty x

teifii on 18-04-2006
Free Style
I too like it. And shall continue to read it in the sense that I agree with [I feel free it do so if you don't know yourself which]. You know Robert Browning, when asked once what one of his poems meant, said, 'When I wrote it only God and Robert Browning knew and now only God knows.'
I love 'An alias hangs from a branch
in allegory, ' - unforgettable.
Daff

Author's Reply:
HI Daff - thanks for visiting this whimsy one - i like it when a poem comes together, all of a sudden, from a range of seemingly disconnected thoughts, images, references and whatever emotional considerations were floating around at the time - i have reread it and the line you pick out is a tease - and quite sobering, thanks for Mr Brownings words - its like that sometimes isn't it? and for my bad memory, my poems also help me remember some when i reread them. Thanks Daff xxxlittleditty x

chrissy on 24-04-2006
Free Style
I liked this very much. It's a good read out loud one. Sort of sings.
chrissy

Author's Reply:


Impressionable (posted on: 31-03-06)
little poem- may add others here this week.

the sound of seagulls in Camden Town every word falling short of how good it is when there is no one else around the silence is not silent at all and you may be crying like the gull able to be heard in the quiet while I catch myself stroking the back of my own bitten hand on the days I don't feel anything every word falling short of how good it is
Archived comments for Impressionable
Apolloneia on 31-03-2006
Impressionable
Is this sad or is it my idea? I don't think I have read any other of yours that was so sad! That's how I 'read' it! bitten hand?? oh dear.. I liked it! xx

Author's Reply:
thanks nic -glad you like it xxxnx (just read it again and it seems to be getting sadder, this poem! I was feeling quite peaceful when i wrote it and wonder how all that sadness surfaced without me really noticing at the time - Know i'm feeling much happier now, listening to indian seagulls! xxx

Romany on 31-03-2006
Impressionable
This does have something of a double edge feel to it for me; I think I know what Nic was getting at. It has a bitter-sweet quality to it, A very human and real emotion to it. Well done.
Romany.

Author's Reply:
thanks Romany, glad it has emotion to it - double edged and as Nic says, sad, and not xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 31-03-2006
Impressionable
Come on down! I like the way this is going. Stripped bare. Like WB said:

I made my song a coat
Covered with embroideries
Out of old mythologies
From heel to throat;
But the fools caught it,
Wore it in the world’s eyes
As though they’d wrought it.
Song, let them take it,
For there’s more enterprise
In walking naked.


Author's Reply:
I like that one! perhaps some more little naked poems are approaching - they say this place helps takes you there...but this afternoon i am taking a scooter for a ride around - so it may all go epic! Hope you are well and happy and writing some...xxxnx

Kat on 01-04-2006
Impressionable
ld, please go to the top of the class! Superb writing.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Dear Kat - thank you - i'm encouraged and shall go and write poems - thank you for your always positive Katness - i am glad you liked this one, it may mark a return to the littleditty - i met a Yoga teacher yesterday who asked if i was working towards achieving no words, where there are no more words, the silence/still point yogis are after -i thought the sub page might look a bit odd -the comments might be interesting though! Hope all's well with you -thanks for visiting xxldxxx

Jolen on 01-04-2006
Impressionable
As usual Nicky,
Your work dares the reader to feel the fullness within each carefully placed word. And this one is rich in feeling.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen - i thought i'd sub it and some other smalls - i am glad you thought this rich in feeling - it was written listening to those seagulls as a series of impressions/sounds and i'm glad i subbed it here now - i liked the way it turned out after a bit of pruning so i'm happy you liked it -thank you Joleeeeeen 😀 xxxnicky x

Jay on 05-04-2006
Impressionable
I liked this. It has a stillness about it... it is very expressive... but I would say thoughtful, not so much sad I think.

I especially liked. . .

while I catch myself stroking
the back of my own bitten hand
on the days I don't feel anything
every word falling short
of how good it is


little D little D... what we dooo without theeeee. lol

From a crazy Jenn on her day off. ahhh. SUNNY!

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunny Jenn :o) Aye -twas a bit thoughtful this one -glad you liked it - 'stillness' - thankyou - i try! What are you doing without me? hmmm...seeing double, rhyming on a sunny day...me toooo 😀 Thanks Jenn xxxlittleditty x

littleditty on 07-04-2006
Impressionable
Woolfie - you know, i was just thinking about trees and falling in the rainforest, also thought you might be the right wolf to ask about the sound of one hand clapping, but i hear you are drunk in Manhattan? - i really liked reading your ideas - made a nice poem there -'too able to be heard in the dark...hmm -mine: gull able to be - i wanted 'gullable' in this one - goes with my own bitten hand! Thank you for visiting this one :O) xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:


A Disturbance of Shen (posted on: 31-03-06)
Shen = spirit, Chinese.

Remember the first scream taking stale breath and breath not yet breath from the cavities of memory through the oval of an open mouth? Unlike the daily exhale of a sigh hurtling, hot down nasal tunnels, heat enough to steam a window, tears rolling in quantities of homeopathic salts. So unlike the comfort of a sigh, air gurgling over the larynx, drying teeth, the fluttering reef slip over lip. There is a rip and tear to it, an opening; there in a birth, or in a wail of grief lives something more than expelled air; when breath could slice a bauble of flesh in two; scalpel tissue, scissor sinew and laser exit through the pores. The throat chakra, opening to a rocket jet tunnel of force, a primal scream of spores to the sky. A disturbance of Shen, perhaps making clouds of rain to wash the skin of the body, the leaf of a tree, where fuel toxins lie in limbo; pathogens preparing - there to dust, for a returning to the earth.
Archived comments for A Disturbance of Shen
Apolloneia on 31-03-2006
A Disturbance of Shen
Very interesting well written and 'specific' poem! well done Turtle-san. 😉
Kumu-san
xx>8)xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Kumu-chan - it is 'specific' as you said - 'the scream' and although it took me the first few to get to it - i think i have at last written a toxic waste/scream/breath poem which is quite peaceful - thanks for the huge 9 xxxTurtle x

Rosco on 31-03-2006
A Disturbance of Shen
I'd put a hyphen after dust. Otherwise, it's a trip.

Author's Reply:
Hi Ross -pretty trippy place where i am now - Ayurvedic Doctor gave a convincing talk on Urine Therapy last night 😮 ..........i have a problem with dashes hanging there at the end of a line! i don't much care for commas there either - will fiddle a bit with the ending, there are some edits to go back to....Thanks for visiting OMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmxxx:O)xxx http://www.bhaktikutir.com/accomodation.php

Kat on 01-04-2006
A Disturbance of Shen
The sounds, the images, the ideas, the idea! Classy this is, very classy, ld - love it!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
'Classy' Kat? 😀 How cooooool! I'm a bit happy with this one - others on the same topic have all contained too much toxic waste and have been buried in a box made of Cryptonite! Thank you Kat - i shall feel Classy all day *sits up straighter* glad you like this one xxxlittleditty x

Leila on 01-04-2006
A Disturbance of Shen
Lots in this and it's all good, I liked it...very minor thought
laser exit through the pores
just gets rid of the word to which bleeps at me...L

Author's Reply:
Hi leila - hmm...to be or not to be...? I see your point and i think you are probably right -i'll read after my coffee, when i may hear bleeps better. Thank you for reading Ms leila! Glad you liked it xxxlittleditty x
'to' = gone! snipped it and was wondering if anyone has ever presented you, for service in the field, with a gold plated set of pruning implements? Thank you 😀 xxx

Sunken on 02-04-2006
A Disturbance of Shen
Hello Ms. Ditty. I'm afraid I had to read this twice as I stupidly misread the title as, 'Shen = Spirit, Cheese'. I couldn't see any cheese related text and, to be quite frank, I was both worried and disappointed. Where's the cheddar I was shouting as I read on... Where's the bloody Edam I was screeching. Thankfully I saw the error of my ways and re-read immediately. I am glad I did. Your poem is like an oxo cube - lovely and shiny with a dark secret lurking beneath the surface. Have you ever tried to eat an oxo cube? It's not as easy as you think, I choked big time. Thanks.

s
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k
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Doris Day's tennis racket

Author's Reply:
Remember the first cheese
taking stale bread
and bread not yet bread
from the cavities of memory
through the e dam of an open mouth?

Interesting, verrrrrrrrry interesting - i have consulted the Ayurvedic Doctor here, and he suggests that you are lactose intolerant. I, of course, argued your corner and said that you were not intolerant at all and have been eating the odd oxo cube to prove it - he said it was a sure sign that you need Urine Therapy. Unfortunately, hamster urine is not usually used - so you have a choice: Goat, cow, elephant being the most beneficial. Please also sing That Old Feeling, In a Shanty in Old Shanty Town, The Black Hills of Dakota, Sentimental Journey and You Should Have Told Me, when required - as this is beneficial also. Good luck with this Sunken. Thanks monkey! xxxlittledotty x



''kisses on your beautiful face'' (posted on: 24-03-06)
:O)

"kisses on your beautiful face" a salutation, am I wrong to feel singing raindrops Bing tap dancing synchronised umbrellas swimming chimney sweeps Cockney rhyming show tunes and bugs bunny munching nonchanantly? An impish dustman wants a little bit of bloomin but am I wrong to feel the swagger of hips the bend of my elbows as I dance The Shadows right foot forward cross over back together right foot forward cross over back together and I am wondering where this top hat and tails came from the ostentatous sunflower lodged in my lapel, the uncanny way I am dancing like Snoopy with increasing disregard for punctuation am I wrong to?
Archived comments for ''kisses on your beautiful face''
Apolloneia on 24-03-2006
kisses on your beautiful face
A good but quite confusing poem, very free-spirited I think.
xxx
Nicoletta

Author's Reply:
A speed poem - there are some show toon lines in this - i think it is quite sweet and completely delusional 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 25-03-2006
kisses on your beautiful face
Lol. Delusional sounds good to me Ms. Ditty. You seem to do 'mad' with a certain degree of understanding (-; Should I be worried that enjoy your stuff so much? Don't answer that... but if you do, do so in binary.

s
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he's banned from 110001010000101111001011

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken, thanks for visiting - brief escape from room 101 this one - 110001010000101111001011 - pffffff...he was the only one to liven up the place anyway...pfffffff xxxlittleditty x

Gerry on 25-03-2006
kisses on your beautiful face
Well It made me smile--Fred Astair...

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
Hi Gerry and Fred - glad it made you smile - tis what it is for - thanks for telling me xxxlittleditty x (Ginger says Hi!)

eddiesolo on 27-03-2006
kisses on your beautiful face
Hi LD,

I roller-skated through this and liked what I read.

Very good.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Si -rollerskates are missing from this speedy poem -i am glad you have added them here as this was remiss of me *tuts* - thanks Si xxxlittleditty x


Blessing (posted on: 24-03-06)
new,

Geranium; she says, 'Over there!' and he says, 'Where?' walking on. Silver Princess; Lavender; 'By the light of the fisherman's hut, I swear I saw a shadow.' Bush Iris; Bottlebrush; Red Lily; She Oak; down the winding path to sea. She is wearing Orange Oil and Frankincense, yesterday's scent a shade undercut. Fringed Violet; Mulla Mulla and Sundew to the sand, where a woman in Musk is placing a garland around her neck. 10 Rupees drop in a shell pot, Chrysanthemums compress Jasmine fresh and she anoints their foreheads with powders, passes her hand across their shoulders, says something; a Blessing of salt, water and all I can smell is the blossoming air of the sea. Thank you to Romany for showcasing this poem at http://www.freewebs.com/spoldham/index.htm
Archived comments for Blessing
Apolloneia on 24-03-2006
Blessing
This is so beautiful and interesting that I can only give it a ten and shut up. xxx
Nicoletta

Author's Reply:
Blimey 😉 - glad you like this one - It's a 10 😀 xxxnx

Romany on 24-03-2006
Blessing
This is wonderful; what a feast for the senses!
Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany -i am really happy that you do - thank you xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 24-03-2006
Blessing
Tell me young Ditty of Little fame, are violet fringes back in vogue? No one told me. I shall pop into boots tomorrow (I mean the chemists and not actual boots) and purchase violet hair dye by the basket load. I'm so glad you're back. I would have looked so stupid walking around without a dyed fringe. Thanks. Well done on the nib. Keep it away from direct sunlight, they have a tendency to go yellow. Cheapskates (-;

s
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k
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ignorant of chickens

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - Cool - a violet fringe. Now -are you sure it is a nib Sunken? I'm in India, squashing mosquitos on the screen =8- so i can't be sure. Am I back? Did I go somewhere? I don't think so - went to a night market last night and bought 5 pairs of fisherman trousers...i'm back from there...why? are you here too? with a voilet fringe? Excellent - see you later -

d
o
t
t
y

about cows and frogs - earlier today, there was a cow looking in a shop window at the handbags on display - was she visiting relatives :o?

woodbine on 25-03-2006
Blessing
I like this piece very much as a word picture with a message and a thoughtful last line. I can't help being oldfashioned in wanting meaningful line breaks in a poem, which I know others don't think important but I find so useful as a hinge to redirect the reader, perhaps where they weren't expecting, that I would be loathe to give up caring where the line breaks, this being one of the key differences from prose, where the printer sets the line break willy nilly.
John

Author's Reply:
HI John - but i thought a lot about the line breaks though! wanting them to be meaningful too! There are movements and shapes, a tugging back, a climbing around a big tree and all sorts going on...Awww daRN it - my line breaks werent meaningful to you,,,*sniffs*- i will have a careful look at this one again in a day or too, have another go with it -any ideas? Nicky

Leila on 26-03-2006
Blessing
yes like this, it's rather lovely with a hint of mystery...L

Author's Reply:
hint of mystery - wanted a hint of a ghost story WOwoOOOOOOoooo down there on the beach - and as i had to cut the horny ghosts from the 'beach' poem you helped me with, i thought i'd sneak one in here! wasn't sure if anyone would notice. Blessings are good for Hauntings - thanks Leila xxxnicky x

woodbine on 26-03-2006
Blessing
If you have the equipment, why not make a recording and show the rythm, the tugging back, the climbing around a big tree, the all sorts going on that I am missing out on. I'm fallible and frequently wrong.

John xx

Author's Reply:
Hi John -i will try to do some recordings - also i will have another look at this and fiddle with the edits i have - i'm glad you told me what you felt, you cant be wrong about that - thank you xxxnicky x

RDLarson on 27-03-2006
Blessing
beautifully sensual and worth remembering always.

Author's Reply:
Thank you - i am happy that you enjoyed this one - thank you for telling me - i am encouraged -cheers! xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 27-03-2006
Blessing
I did feel like John on this one, I saw it and felt it was just a mass...but then I settled back, took a deep breath and...

It does read very good, beautiful metaphors in this and I love that last line. Excellent!

Congrats on the nib.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Well Si - i have just written one with a few stanzas to it - i think a lot about blocky poems and prose - i think i know it is a poem when i am painting with the line breaks when writing it. This also was separated, but i wanted the winding path in this one, one train of thought/story - so i will work with that when i edit. Thanks for your cheery visit as always - thanks Si-) xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 28-03-2006
Blessing
OH Nicky,
I can only say that you have mastered a piece of heaven with your incredibly earthy and sensual descriptions.

blessings,
Ms.S

Author's Reply:
Hi Joleeeen! Glad you liked this one - that's great - cheers xxxnicky x

Abel on 28-03-2006
Blessing
A superb write. A fave for me...the descriptions are intriguing, luscious.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Hi Ward - i am so pleased *grinning* that you like this one - thanks for telling me - intriguing and luscious - great! Cheers! xxxnicky x

Lightweight on 06-04-2006
Blessing
Hey littleditty
thank you for flying out to India to be by my sick bed (well, hammock)
Its a blessing having you as my sister
Feeling stronger now
thanks again
love
Lightweight xxx

PS I am now very fond of this poem!

Author's Reply:
Hey Lightweight :o) http://ukauthors.com/article12345.html -

better by the hammock than in the hospital i think! Glad you like it -it has all the plants and oils of your home in it - keep well (did you hear me?;) xxxnickxxx

scotch on 03-05-2006
Blessing
dear Littleditty.. i found your poem pleasing...scotch

Author's Reply:
dear scotch - thanks for telling me -xxxlittleditty x


Carnival (posted on: 10-03-06)
new -editing...

It is all Carnival my sweet, all show; Don't fall from the trip tease lines of light samba-ing through a spotlight's beam. Beware the trampoline - a netting of stockings and old mans fishing wire. The whole tent is barbed and electric babe. My arms could seem a comfy chair; strong, soft; just watch the spring in my step, performed by these old legs. Take care I don't catch you doll. The world is worse for the wisened! You slip, tumble; driven. Dance! Sing! Young crimes harm a little less because most can be forgiven. I'm older, feel the weight as I ease my arm around your shoulder. I would stake a heavy repentance on a young tower of cards an edit! Bread and Circus It is all Carnival my sweet, all show. Don't fall. Tip - toe up from the trip tease line of light Samba-ing through a Super Trouper beam. Just beware the trampoline: a netting of torn stockings, dead matches and old mans fishing wire. The whole tent is barbed and electric babe. Dance. Sing. There is no one here to catch you. When the clowns song turns to tears, my arms could seem a comfy chair; strong, supportive, soft; just watch the spring in my step, performed by these old legs. Take care I don't catch you doll - the world is worse for the wisened. You slip, tumble; driven. Young crimes harm a little less because most can be forgiven. The world is worse for the wisened, I am older - feel the weight of it as I put my arm around your shoulder, staking a heavy repentance on a young tower of cards.
Archived comments for Carnival
Romany on 10-03-2006
Carnival
I love the voice to this, and the rhythym!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Hello Romany - it was all about voice and rhythm this one and i have been tinkering around with shape and it's still not right yet, i think -glad you enjoyed, other edits are in my diary and scattered around here - i'll work on it a bit more i think! Cheers Romany for your encouraging comment, need a strong coffee and another go with it soon! xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 10-03-2006
Carnival
Yes I agree with Romany it has a nice rhythm. My favourite stanza is the third. Good poem Nicky. I know you have been editing this, I think you can edit more, especially punctuation now.
Nicxxx.

Author's Reply:
I think its got some good to it - its just not right yet! Coffee and another go i think -thanks for your ideas my dear xxxlittleditty x

bektron on 10-03-2006
Carnival
Hiya- love the imagery in this, all smudgy harlequin and sawdust, third and fourth stanza'a seem slightly out of shape for me and maybe could do with a shuffle. What I like the best though- is that super-dramatic first line.
bx


Author's Reply:
Hi Beks *throws garland* glad you like it - need to wade through the edits and reach a very large coffee. Not easy in clown shoes -this one just wont behave itself -*tuts*- onwards i go *drum rolls*- i'll be shuffling..thanks for visiting! xxxlittleditty x

teifii on 10-03-2006
Carnival
This looks very promising. I love the musicality of it but felt the t couplet lacked the rhythm of the rest.
I loved
a netting of stockings
and old mans fishing wire.

and especially
The world
is worse for the wisened! You slip, tumble;
driven. Dance! Sing! Young crimes harm a little less
because most can be forgiven.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - it may have worked better as a block - or perhaps it's just not right yet, a tricky mixture of the voice speaking alone or to someone else - thanks for 'promising' - i will try - see what happens with it! Thanks Daff xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 10-03-2006
Carnival
Katie Melua's nose continues to haunt my every waking hour and I fear my commenting, like your edit young Ditty of Little fame, continues to slide. The gravitational pull of your latest sub has left me requiring anadin of extra fame. It was worth it though Ms. Dittster. Consider dust and how it relates to long lost relatives who probably wouldn't admit to hanging about in hoover bags whilst they were alive (but only if you have the time).

s
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k
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down in the park with a made up name

Author's Reply:
I too, need an anadin of extra fame, but i am being held hostage by a by a bunch of rowdy edits - Meluas nose is represented in the edit for you especially -i hope i did it justice, because the poem needs a good punch. Hoover, Bags and Dust lost relatives while they were alive...wouldnt admit to hanging around though even if they had the time. Enjoy the slide, what's the park called? Thanks Sunk xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 12-03-2006
Carnival
I like the present participle use of 'staking' in the last line as it applies to both edits. Is it I don't catch you or I don't drop you that suits that other line? The descriptions are airtight, angular, and edgy to match the theme. Nicely done! I shot my evil twin.

Author's Reply:
Oh boy, it's the come down - Drink orange juice for vitamin C and bananas for potassium - staking is better - i think catch as in chase and when someone falls but need to look again (have averted eyes for now)- I taught a book called Wise Children, Angela Carter last year -the refrain, something like 'what fun it is to dance and sing' mentioned above, have you read it? Carnivalesque! And full to the brim with twins - great read! Thanks for appearing in this guise - appreciated xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 14-03-2006
Carnival
Hi LD,

I found these great, imagery is good but rythem does seem slightly off on the last edit. Again that could be me as I can't read...lol

Enjoyed though and there are some super lines in there.

Take care.

Well done on the nibby.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
HI Si - it seems that some of your comments didnt come through to email 🙁 and so i have found this just now as i was going to have a little edit! Thanks Si - it does need fiddling with still, you're right! Cheers -hope all is well with you 🙂 xxx


Beach (posted on: 06-03-06)
loss

edited, with thanks. Yes, I would have loved to run a finger along and up your thigh and stop; for you to want me more, pulling back from the edge, where the skin shore aches with loss. I want you to miss me now as each pore of mine asks to be with you again, ecstatic. I cannot wait too long against a force of skin wanting you in waves along the beach of your body. I will drink salt, water, fire in the moonlight to wake you from your quiet slumber and fill your lungs with air again. Let me speak to you, curious, fresh; taste the bud of every fleshy surface, the momentum of expected and unexpected pleasure, lost on the tips of tongues
Archived comments for Beach
Romany on 06-03-2006
Beach
Very sensual piece; clever to use the metaphor of the beach and the waves lapping the shore and receding. Quite sexy!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Romany! Glad you thought so xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 06-03-2006
Beach
A very good poem young Turtle! Turtles (male and female) know a lot about Beaches, don't they? 😉 poem of the week in the most profitable town on the most unprofitable island in the world!
Kumu lady mayor and owner of the most peculiar beach "Alcatrazetta".
XX

Author's Reply:
poem of the week? I will hula all day :O) - thanks Lady Mayor xxxlittleditty x

Jen_Christabel on 06-03-2006
Beach
Clever stuff, and a damn fine read :o)
Jennifer x

Author's Reply:
Hello Jennifer - i am glad you enjoyed it -thank you for telling me xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 06-03-2006
Beach
Now that's my kinda beach. Alas, all I have is concrete)-:
Top write young Ditty. Respect and hula hoops (bovril flavour)

s
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yes sir, i can high dive - but i need a swimming pool

Author's Reply:
yes sir - i can reply, but i need a nother smoke, oh...yess sir, i can boogie, hulahooooops - glad you liked it Sunken -but bovril flavour? - may be that's why? Consider plain, ready salted and it's relation to wetness and floss. Bless you monkey xxxlittleditty x

AnthonyEvans on 06-03-2006
Beach
like the othere, this one gets my thumbs up (oh, damned unsexy phrasing on my part, what).

small thingy dept: at first i thought you were writing salt-water but had stuck a comma between them. why not: water, salt, fire? that would also build things up (from water to fire).

best wishes, anthony

Author's Reply:
Dear Anthony - yes - of course! I confess that this poem once had: seaweed, ghosts, a drowning and 'fill your air with lungs' - that salt water was meant edits ago and should have got the snip -thank goodness for you! i will read again, i got stuck there too but it didn't register - i am now going to glance back and see for any unintended innuendo - but fingers crossed, press Post anyway -bless us all! Thanks Antz xxxlittleditty x (update -Anthony 😮 i like 'drinks salt'...what am i to do? oh dear!!!!)

Leila on 08-03-2006
Beach
Definitely sensous and rather lovely...can I be very bold and say it might benefit from a wee edit...a little snip here and there...for example I'm not sure
the point of no return works or is needed, the previous line suggests that. Repetition of pulling back I'm sure is intended but I think I'd remove, also let my hands of skin could go too. Anyway I'm now hiding behind a big cushion but it's all meant well littledittyone...L

Author's Reply:
Yes, I would have loved to run a finger
along and up your thigh and
stop; for you to want me more,
pulling back from the edge,
where the skin shore aches with loss.
I want you to miss me now
as each pore of mine asks to be with you
again, ecstatic. I cannot wait too long
against a force of skin wanting you
in waves along the beach of your body.
I will drink salt, water, fire in the moonlight
to wake you from your quiet slumber
and fill your lungs with air again.
Let me speak to you, curious, fresh;
to taste the bud of every fleshy surface,
the momentum of expected and unexpected
pleasure, lost on the tips of tongues.

Oi you - behind the big cushion - Leila! LeeeeiiiiLLLAAAA - YooooooHoooooo! Thanks -i'm going to have a littlego with it now and see! Thanks for your suggestions - glad you thought it sensuous and rather lovely -that, at least is a start - usually what i write (and read) in this department makes me laugh - i;m trying - cheers! xxxlittleditty x


Leila on 08-03-2006
Beach
ha ha ditty one...I'm peeking from behind that cushion...I kinda like that version...and erm if you stick with it it could lose the word 'to' in the third from end line...I'm so picky!!! off behind that cushion again...L xx

Author's Reply:
damn...you're good! Might i suggest you throw the cushion away? *ducks*xxxlittleditty! x

Rosco on 11-03-2006
Beach
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a106/Salemsgate/ToiletPaper.gif

Author's Reply:
I WANT ONE!!!!!!!!!! CAN I HAVE ONE???????????????ROLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jolen on 11-03-2006
Beach
Image hosting by Photobucket

Author's Reply:
Comment: Rated 10

Rosco on 11-03-2006
Beach
Image hosting by Photobucket

Author's Reply:
Comment: Rated 10

RDLarson on 11-03-2006
Beach
No pictures need, you've drawn it well - that aching want. Good work.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for the kind words - glad you think so, i think writing about 'that aching want' is not easy at all - Cheers xxxlittleditty x

teifii on 11-03-2006
Beach
Very effective. I too got hung up on salt, water and would prefer water, salt, but I'm qibbling. It's a really good poem.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Dear Daff - i will have another go with it soon, as it is annoying - i have had some good suggestions and will rework this one day when i look again fresh - glad you thought it has potential - thanks for telling me xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 11-03-2006
Beach
Hi Nicky:

I guess we'll have to read the poem now. It sounded like people we're getting naked on a beach and something untoward was happening. The mean bastard.

Author's Reply:
No need - nobody was getting naked on the beach, nothing untoward happened, no one was mean - there was a drowning, description of longing and loss - and this my attempt to write this way. You're tripping! - as we say here when someone is out there and off their heads on something or other - 'Yup - *inhales* Rosco's trippin out man...' 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Jay on 13-03-2006
Beach
Very effective. Nicely written, flowing like the water I shall say. Great read Miss Ditty. 😀

Jenn.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Miss Jenn *curtseys* glad you thought so xxxMissDitty x

eddiesolo on 13-03-2006
Beach
Hi Nicky,

What a lovely write.

I figured it was about a death and the need to bring life back, I could be wrong...I usually am lol.

Great piece,

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Yes - its that - I missed the cut ghosts and the seaweed for a while - but they had to go - thanks Si, I'm really pleased you liked this one -Ta very much xxxditty x

Abel on 13-03-2006
Beach
"I will drink salt, water, fire in the moonlight
to wake you from your quiet slumber
and fill your lungs with air again."
Just love this poem...

Ward

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ward - glad you do, guessing by your quote that the salt, water, fire... didn't bother you - i need to decide about that line as it has bothered! Thanks for telling me xxxlittleditty x


Nobody walks indefinitely (posted on: 03-03-06)
new!

Nobody walks indefinitely on hot coals: he may be picking them up and putting them down as a reflex to the burn, a kick at gravity, down toward the bakery and he's not walking on air, not, he says, propelled by any desire but motion, an artist, skipping across my well beaten doormat; and even though there is nothing like the smell of fresh bread, when he returns, I hope to annihilate all that we are. (thank you Romany for commenting on 'Enrolada' which was repeated here by mistake and is now replaced with this little one)
Archived comments for Nobody walks indefinitely
Romany on 03-03-2006
poem
I was going to ask why you posted it twice, but then I realised (at least, I hope I realised and it wasn't a mistake!) that it was deliberate, to underline the theme in this piece of prose (I think it is more prose than poetry btw) of things going as just as before. I think most of us can identify with this. Good work in my opinion.

Romany.

Author's Reply:
Dear Romany -what an interesting idea! Unfortunately, i must confess to being a bit thick rather than interesting - a complete mistake which i will have to rectify later! However - there was this going on last sub, so i am smiling here that this has happened! I have to go now - but will replace this one perhaps later - thank you so much for commenting - excellent! xxxlittlethicky x

Romany on 04-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
Well, I like this one too! And you can't beat the smell of fresh bread!

Author's Reply:
Hi Romany -thank you! I wrote this with a little poem called Gallery, subbed a while ago. Wanted a story told in a few lines - glad you liked it xxxlittleditty x

Abel on 04-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
Intriguing piece, LD. I thought you were going to say the "smell of FLESH..." Ha! Very, very fine write. Enjoyed the imagery here.

Best,

Ward

Author's Reply:
Hello Ward! I am in the mood to change it now! 'Flesh bread'!!!! Ha! indeed - she, the doormat, is the worm who turns in this - she's quite strong willed there at the end *cowers* I am trying out different voices and have these little poems appearing. Thanks for reading and that huge 10 xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 04-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
Hi LD,

This is an intriguing piece, enjoyed it very much.

Fine write.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hey Si - thank you -i'm looking forward to your story - need a couple more cups of coffee first... A TEN THOUGH? Blimey and gosh :o) Glad you enjoyed this one xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 04-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
How I love the smell of freshly baked bread young Ditty of Little fame. I often hang around Tesco's for this very reason. I have been arrested twice for loitering. Do the police not know of the aroma-therapeutical properties of bread? Bastards! It is my duty young Dittster, as a munky, to stop you questioning these 10's that you often receive. I will bestow a 10 and expect no questions. Thanks. Consider cream cakes in relationship to shaving foam. I made a cake this afternoon using said foam and it tastes bloody awful. I wonder what the people of Tesco use?

s
u
n
k
e
n

yes sir, i can lipread

Author's Reply:
Consider the relation of yeast and hot air, i think. Tescos is full of trickery - loitering, top tip: you should find a vent or two pumping out the inviting smell in several locations around the store - good luck with this. ---> <---- What did i say what did i say????? Thanks for visiting and the ten :o xxxlittleditty x

red-dragon on 04-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
I got a bit confused (it's me age, deary) but now I can see a poem worthy of a bun. Got a tad muddled with the 'annihilate', but I reckon it's worth the dough, anyday. I don't think it kneads anything else, so a top bap from me. Ann

Author's Reply:
Anne - a bun and a top bap? 😀 Thank you very much! -i'm glad you enjoyed it xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 06-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
Hi Ol Nicky forever young Turtle.

I have problems with your poem. Sorry!

Nobody walks indefinitely
on hot coals: he may stop
to pick them up and put
them down again, he may
kick as a reflex to the burn.

Down toward the bakery
he's not walking on air,
not, he says, propelled
by any desire but simply
motion itself.

An artist, skipping across
the well beaten doormat;
and even though there is nothing
like the smell of fresh bread,
when he returns, I hope
to annihilate all that we are.

thank you for your tolerance.
Nicxxxx

Author's Reply:
Sorry wrong box!

littleditty on 06-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
Tolerance -are you kidding? Bring it on: By the new government curriculum handbook, this poem is in Band 7:

Criteria 7= littlepoem, nice images,story told, nuff said, next.

didn't like your changes except 3 para idea, which i tried but decided on her train of thought no breaks! However, i like the first verse so...

Nobody walks indefinitely
on hot coals: he may stop
to pick them up and put
them down, he may
kick as a reflex to the burn.

Down toward the bakery
he's not walking on air,
not, he says, propelled
by any desire but motion

An artist, skipping across
the well beaten doormat;
and even though there is nothing
like the smell of fresh bread,
when he returns, I hope
to annihilate all that we are.


for now - thanks Nic xxxnx




Nobody walks indefinitely
on hot coals: he may stop
to pick them up and put
them down again, he may
kick as a reflex to the burn.

Down toward the bakery
he's not walking on air,
not, he says, propelled
by any desire but simply
motion itself.

An artist, skipping across
the well beaten doormat;
and even though there is nothing
like the smell of fresh bread,
when he returns, I hope
to annihilate all that we are.



Author's Reply:
'picking them up and putting them down - is an expression of walking - Maya Angelou? i have forgotten what - used it to hint at the artist's affairs...i liked that bit! xxxnx

Jolen on 07-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
Well Nicky, I do like your poem, and the imagery here is wonderful, imo. You have a great talent, and I think this is proof of it. I read this a few times and each time I got more and more from it. That's a wonderful thing, imo.
I hope this finds you well.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Dear Jolen - thank you for the wonderful things you say - you are so positive that i feel all British and will start stuttering, bumbling and rambling imediately...It's a poem which was longer, Oscar Wilde got me started and after I was prompted to edit - i cut the Victorian top hat and tails, a girl called Charity and other forgotten things, and this is what is left! I am really glad you like it and that the images worked for you - i wanted it to be a packed littlestory - and you got it ;O) - thank you xxxnicky x

littleditty on 09-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
Thank you Woolfie - you've got me thinking, Apocalypse is a good title - Epochelipse too - um - a suicide pack Wolfie??> guns or blades? and where is the wild orgy taking place? Hmmm..seems a shame... it is so good to be alive, no? Are you depressed? Cheer up Wolfie - its Spring time! xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

teifii on 10-03-2006
Nobody walks indefinitely
I must admit that first [and second] time round I really didn't get it but now after several readings and, I must admit, reading comments and answers, I understand it better and found it really good. Still a bit worried that readers might not understand that the doormat is 'she'. I suspect it is just that I am sometimes a bit dense
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - shall i change 'the' to 'my' well beaten doormat? Might hint a bit better to it? A few more sups of coffee and i might! Thanks for letting me know - i wrote it with 'Gallery' -which i don't think people liked for the sense it didn't make too! That was about Art, depression and enlightenment in art and self, this one about a couple or the split self of the Artist at work. Dense is ok, but making sense is needed for the connection/hook - learning, xxxlittlethicky x


Enrolada (posted on: 27-02-06)
new poem -

As night passes straight through the town square, I am to leave sideways, angling and angled in the pitch, touching clammy walled corridors down parallel streets where hand upon laying hand has shaped great stone blocks into smooth rock for trinkets. I have passed this way before. Familiar dust underfoot clings to familiar sole and I am static with the realisation that I am here again, still, relying on the inactive and relinquishing all control to objects, objects which surely should not have this hold on me. This way time passes and all sideways glances are unnecessary. In the gap where I am nothing, when the past evolves blinkered and tethered, so am I. I am not anything except haunted, the next step is inevitable: what I will do next has been written by what I always end up doing and by what has been done to me. Forty years of mantra and decades of slogans change nothing slowly, very slowly.
Archived comments for Enrolada
Sunken on 01-03-2006
poem
Your originality, like a pair of silver slippers on the moon, shines through. This seems like a very personal piece and is therefore a bit tricky to comment on. Blimey, you could write about cheese and I'd find it hard to comment on. I tend to ramble and my points alway get lost. There was a point to this comment, but it too has managed to lose itself between the cushions of the sofa upon which I lounge whilst contemplating Ditty and her poetry.
This astoundingly in-depth critique was aimed at your original sub by the way. I read it on Monday, took it for a pizza on Tuesday, and made bread with it on Wednesday... tomorrow I was to teach it the art of falling in love with persons unattainable, but she says she has had enough and wants to go home. Still, it was nice whilst it lasted and I do at least have plenty of bread now.

Thanks. Take care and vitamin C.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he is allergic to pound coins

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - does your Rudi the hamster of Fame, ever think what it would be like to be stuck in a cage without any bars? I think i could call this poem 'Wake up you silly cow and go and do some good things' The other sub was a scream, now edited better - a bit of bittersweet nostalgia which makes me laugh out loud when i read it out to friends of that era, that house! 😀

Meanwhile, I enrolled in 'breadmaking for the beginner' at my local college and can send you the recipes if you like. Thanks for your lovely comment; you are a Monkey xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 02-03-2006
poem
Hi Ld,

I too felt that this is a very personal piece yet you have kept the title and blurb very secret.

As for the piece itself I really liked the atmosphere it gives off. There is some great lines in there: where hand upon laying hand has shaped great stone blocks. A simple line but I love it.

Nice piece and I wonder why this seems to have been overlooked?

Take care.
Si:-)


Author's Reply:
Dear Si - I haven't really got a title for this one - 'Mind the Gap'? 'Get on with it!' - it is about inactivity i suppose, decisions - a poem, noting how slowly we change and how easy it is to act in the way that we always do - bit deterministic this one, but i am glad you liked some lines - thank you for commenting as now it hasn't been overlooked :o) - thank you Si xxxlittleditty x (I just got given the title -Portuguese - Enrolada - what you call a person who spins things out, procrastinates...something like that!)

Kat on 02-03-2006
Enrolada
I like it very much, ld! It very much speaks of procrastination, and we all do it (one way or another), and yes, how to break the vicious circle? A bit like, how not to be human? Mmm... I don't think I have answers... still stuck in the middle of my own circle! :o)

Good food for thought.

I enjoyed the zany (or not?) article you linked me about Rudolph Steiner. I see the Dalai Lama has a book out now about Science and Spirituality and it looks very interesting.

Good luck with all things, ld!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hi Kat - thanks for commenting - its just that *some* people procrastinate longer than others and i should be arrested (wrong word!) for how much sand slips mostly merrily through my hands Kat! In fact - *checks clock* i missed the bank again 😮 ! Glad you enjoyed it and that article which did get zanier and not, throughout i thought! I'm not sure about that Dalai Lama fella - he's got a nice smile and his orange robes are very cool indeed 😉 Science and Spirituality by him -interesting! I'll take a look at the bookshop - Cheers Kat - xxxlittleditty z

Apolloneia on 02-03-2006
Enrolada
"Familiar dust underfoot clings to familiar sole" I think this is one of your most interesting and original lines my friend. A good Littledittian poem!
xxnxx

Author's Reply:
You think so? I wanted lines to stand alone in this and therefore the first attempt was blocky -glad you suggested i opened it up a bit - Lucia said it was 'dense', which she and you may know also means 'thick' - um...'DER' - 'Littledittian poem'! Yeah -it is that! xxxlittleditty x

Abel on 05-03-2006
Enrolada
What a brilliant gem this is LD. A fave for me...it haunts me as it does your character in this one...I fear I can relate.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Dear Ward - perhaps the gap is where poems and songs also come from - i'm attempting optimism and shall stop now! Thank you for all your encouragement - really appreciated - lets keep writing the lines xx:O) xxxlittleditty x (your interview is very cool btw! congrats.)

teifii on 05-03-2006
Enrolada
Very effectively descriptive of an unenviable condition that afflicts us all at times, I suspect.
'what I will do next
has been written by what I always end up doing
and by what has been done to me. ' is a a most depressing thought. I think I'll go out and stare at the snow. That at least is not endlessly repeatable, given it's going to rain by mid-week.
Well written piece Ld
Daff

Author's Reply:
Sorry Daff - 😀 - a good idea to look at the snow after this one - *attempts optimism* change is the only constant - i tried to sneak that in at the end a little bit - but - yeah depressing - sorry about that! Glad you thought it an effective description though - a case of naming the beast! Thank you xxxlittleditty x


You are Michelangelo (posted on: 20-02-06)
*

You are Michelangelo and I know too, the benefit of concealing marble dust in my hand, so when a patron examines the truth of David's nose, or Pinocchio's, I can climb the scaffold, feign adjustments and watch the dust fall. When in Rome, I model Bacchus, we drinking in ecstasy as later, I am the green marble in a chapel of Saint Peter's holding across my knees a dead son. Michelangelo's David, Bacchus, Pieta http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelangelo
Archived comments for You are Michelangelo
Bradene on 20-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
Excellent piece LD i love this:-
I am the green marble
in a chapel of Saint Peter's
holding across my knees
a dead son.

Very evocative Love Val x



Author's Reply:
Hello Val - glad you liked this one - good to know you liked the ending...i've been thinking about it - i've added a link to see David, Bacchus and Pieta - so here it is for you too -thanks Val xxxlittleditty x

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelangelo

AnthonyEvans on 20-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
ditz, i like this though i don't pretend to understand it. rome is certainly a place. i like the lines that val likes but i also like the rest and that pinocchio touch is very smart. yep, i'd almost forgotten how smart you are, so long it is that i have not been around ... i'd like to know what all that marble dust means, i have a feeling i could make good use of it in this lifetime ...

Author's Reply:
HI Anthony - glad you like it -When Soderini (patron) looked at David he said the nose was too big -so Michealangelo nipped up the scaffold and pretended to fix it - dropping concealed marble dust. A savy young 22/3 year old at a time when one needed to be so. The poem has some ideas of the conflict between Bacchus, greek god of wine and (spiritual?) ecstasy - and Pieta, the green marble Virgin holding her dead son across her knees. A tension between the rise of humanism/pagan/hellenic ideas and the established Christian morality/ethic/ethos around at the time and one tension which Michelangelo felt strongly. David, he's just a beauty! But the beauty of the physical body. Anyway, i've waffled - but there are some ideas i started with! Hope you are ok? Have you been busy on your projects? I hope everything is going well for you xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 20-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
hi my friend,
this is a very interesting poem.

how about :
When in Rome, I model Bacchus,
we drink in ecstasy as later, and
become the green marble
in a chapel of Saint Peter's,
holding across the knees
a dead son.



Idea No 5464534490s0fffgbb888999$%# (I CAN EXPLAIN!!)
Ol' Kumu - New Hat
>>8)

xxxx

Author's Reply:
Oh boy oh boy! It's been a long time since idea No 5464534490s0fffgbb888999$%# has been activated - what is going on up there?????????? I have a feeling this poem is one i am going to think about some more. SPEAK - KUmu-san, I'm all ears 😀 xxxnx

Abel on 21-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
Why this didn't get a nib I can't understand. Brilliant piece, LD. Love the ancient mystery, the marble, the dust. Life.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Hello Ward -thank you - I am so happy you liked it and thought it was a good one - i am still reading your last one which i liked so much, its pace - i had some problems with pacing this one - thanks for commenting and that lovely 10 :O) xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 21-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
Dear Ms. Ditty,
You will be pleased to learn that I have recently purchased a fine pair of binoculars from planet Argos. You now appear slightly magnified, a vision that pleases me with an immensity never before experienced in all my years of 'Ditty watch'. I hope that this meets with your approval and that our uka exchanges will benefit from said investment. You continue to strive, and is so doing have already reached Rome. Well done. Consider lips and their relationship with words that they themselves have yet to form (but only if you have the time).

s
u
n
k
e
n

dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken, you can see Rome from a product from planet Argos? Remarkable...Are you on the white lines? (Rated 10)...I have been considering what i haven't yet said about your fine poem, and feeling quite bad about it too - my internet connection is as temperamental as a bird on a wire -so please forgive the wired bird, she's disconnected at the mo. I shall continue to strive - thanks Sunken xxxDitty of Little fame x

redlobster on 21-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
I loved the poem, got the Michaelangelo bit, had no idea about the mythological bit. I liked the line about David's nose and Pinocchio's

A great read

Author's Reply:
Hello - my internet connection is unreliable - so i hope this makes it to you! i'm glad you liked the poem -i am wondering about the Pinocchio line - what should i do? They *points down* think it could be for the chop :Oo I will have to think about it - anyhow, thanks so much for telling me you liked it xxxlittleditty x

redlobster on 21-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
I loved the poem, got the Michaelangelo bit, had no idea about the mythological bit. I liked the line about David's nose and Pinocchio's

A great read

Author's Reply:

teifii on 22-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
I liked this, the economy of it and the way it is like a glimpse into those times in Rome.
I must admit that for me Pinoccio struck a slightly wrong note. I didn't know the story about th marble dust -- what a clever idea.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hi Daff - glad you liked this one -thank you for telling me - the boy with the long nose may be for the chop! 😮 xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 23-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
Hi LD,

This is bloody wonderful and well deserved of the nib!

Long time no see, sorry for just getting around to reading it.

Lovely wording here.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Si :O) Glad you liked it! I am in wonder with technology right now as I am writing this reply wirelessly - how cool! I have so much catching up to do too - i'm happy you liked this one - should the wooden guy get the chop? Decisions decisions! Hope you are well and hows the cd coming on? I am going to spend some time listening to some of your audio if the connection here lasts! xxxlittleditty x

pencilcase on 23-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
ld - a very interesting poem that packs a great deal into a short space. Personally, I much like the

"I know too, the benefit
of concealing marble dust in my hand,
so when a patron examines...
I can...
feign adjustments
and watch the dust fall."

Although you have a specific reference for this, this notion in itself would be an interesting subject for a poem because it represents human relationships and psychology in a timeless sense. For example, you are having a suit fitted and think the waist needs a slight adjustment, the tailor takes it out the back, waits for five minutes, does nothing..."how's that now, sir?"

"oh yes, that's much better, thanks!"

Of course you have much more in this poem, but this is the aspect that appealed to me the most!

I welcome constructive criticism, but am thinking of adopting a similar approach the next time I receive such crit but don't really agree with it...

"Thanks for your comment. I've filed down the last word and chipped a bit off the second stanza - how's that now?"

!!!!!

Steve


Author's Reply:
Hi Steve - I thought i had already replied to your great comment - *tuts* - that littlestory had to go in a poem -it's a good poetic one as you said - and it seemed to represent the personal and political of his time very well. Might have a go with another poem - owwww - i have an idea! Thanks Steve! And thanks for reading and commenting. Editing is sometimes a tricky business indeed! xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 23-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
Hi LD,

The cd is on hold as I'm writing a novel with my friend, also working on season two of a script for a new space 1999 adventure!

If your listening to me waffle on then your computer will definitely pack up!!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
gosh! Busy! I am happy to be able to listen to audio now - good luck with everything x

narcissa on 26-02-2006
You are Michelangelo
*unintelligable noise of awe and amazement* (something like this: "nnrrrgghhhmmmaahh")
That second half *collapses* just. love. it.
Sorry, this is a very unhelpful comment, but..... all I can say is that it's beautiful. It has so many layers, and the specific references are so well placed.
Laura x

Author's Reply:
*unintelligible sound of smiles* (something like :O) ) I'm really pleased you liked this and of course it is useful to know you did - i'm very happy you thought the references well placed -thank you Laura 😀 nicky x

Rosco on 05-04-2006
You are Michelangelo
Yes, the Bacchus and Pieta were carved in the same period. Impressive juxtapostion and imagery.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ross xxx:o) x

Zoya on 05-07-2006
You are Michelangelo
A short and sweet piece, economical in words, beautifully sculpted, well narrated. I like it.
It is not easy, appreciation of art; you have done a good job of it.
Thanks for sharing.
**Hugs**
Love, xxx, Zoya

Author's Reply:


She Tracks an Orbit (posted on: 10-02-06)
edited...

Light years from you and me, her eye to a telescope, she tracks an orbit and discovers a spiral galaxy. We are going round in circles, so she begins to determine the mass of objects, their weight in relation to one another, while I see Mount Clara, clear water and rocks full of gems. Adaptive optics and she sees her waterfall, a white arrow laser shower, chased by jumping lunchtime boys, arching their toes over slated ledges. Her eye to a telescope, she may imagine quietness on a lagoon's rocky bank, a roaring storm at an energetic stem of a cliff and warmer waters in shallow, gentle edges. She may see the shade, swim through rainbows, dip under thunder to the cave, rest on the wet shelf of sofa rock and watch the light come in.
Archived comments for She Tracks an Orbit
Apolloneia on 10-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
Very clever and well written poem Nicky! xnxxx

Author's Reply:
Hello -i overdid it with the the and cut some - thanks Nic xxx

AnneB on 10-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
Ooh, I love this - wonderful mix of science, magic & myth - great! The only thing I'd change is the "you and I" in line 1 should (I think!) be "you and me" - for grammar??

Great stuff!

A
xxx

Author's Reply:
Hi A - I'm glad you enjoyed this one -i am not sure about that I and me thing - is it me? Oh dear - thank you - i had hoped it was I - thanks for telling me - xxxlittleditty x Hi Anne -i changed it -thank you! x

Sunken on 10-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
I do think science and poetry mix extremely well Ms. Ditty. I have a few in draft but I need a scientist to check out my formula's before I sub. 'Scientry' yeah, that'll do nicely. Treat yourself to something from... 'The bodyshop' this weekend Ms. Little of Ditty fame. Congratulations - It's a poem!

s
u
n
k
e
n

Mdma 5 - Mdf 2

Author's Reply:
The body shop - the last time i was at the body shop i crashed my Karmann Miranda Ghia, reversing out of the very old, blind mechanic's garage, oh those were the days, 1965...are my formula's again wrong Sunken? Too much ecstasy and not enough high density fireboard - darn it, i knew it -i bloody well knew it. i thought it was the hydroponics... It is indeed a poem -thanks 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Corin on 13-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
DEar LD - I liked this very much - being a chemist I always like poems that include science - especially when they get it right. I like the two ways of looking at the world and how you expressed it though I am not clear how the scientist came round to your way of seeing and to looking at the World through the waterfall's rainbow.

BTW I am afraid that Our Anne is right about the `you and I'.

"Light years from you and I, her eye to a telescope,
she tracks an orbit "

The verb in this conjunctive clause is `tracks' so the subject of the clause is `she'. "Light years from you and I" is an adjectival phrase describing `she'
as is `her eye to a telescope,' but `I' is a subject pronoun and `me' an object pronoun. If we make the phrases clauses it all becomes clear:-


she, sitting light years from you and me with her eye fixed to a telescope, tracks an orbit.

`you and I' are not the subject of any verb here so it has to be `me'.

Warm Wishes,

David


Author's Reply:
Hello David - thank you so much for the grammar explanation - i am thinking on it but i have very little time at the mo. I am really happy you enjoyed this one. I will come back to it and your explanation and have a think about cutting 'and I' or other alternatives -Cheers - Nicky x Hi David -i changed it! Thank you so much x

woodbine on 14-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
A lovely glow of a poem that flows over and around me. If it didn't yet get a knib I suspect it's something to do with an imbalance between you and I in the narrative which an editor, with a lot of stuff to read, doesn't have much time to ponder. I may of course be wildly wrong and only the knib fairy knows for sure.
JohnXX


Author's Reply:
Hello John - i wanted it to be circular - a cylinder on the eye too, so 'a poem that flows over and around me' is really good to hear! Did i make sense? I am thinking what to do with the first line ... i'm glad you liked it -thank you - it suddenly got given a nib sometime after our last visits here -nice! xxxnicky x Hi John - i changed it! Thanks x

e-griff on 14-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
well, you get a 'Griffpick' from me, this is lovely and unusual.

Although technically 'you and me' is correct. I (yes, picky ol' me) think that 'you and I ' simply SOUNDS much better, which is what poetry is all about, innit? so I'd plead 'poetic licence' here 🙂

however, my own little niggle is how 'Adaptive optics' fits into the grammar. JohnG

Author's Reply:
Dear John, a Griffpick' - thanks - i am considering cutting the 'and I' - but i may plead poetic license and insanity - a split self You/I/she and too many people in the poem is responsible for this right old muddle with the grammar here!!!! - tricky business - but Anne is right to point it out and i think i should do something as it annoys in a bad way! I am going to read David's explanation again and think what to do. Through/ By way of/The technology of 'adaptive optics' makes it possible for her to...was what i was trying to say there....is there another way to do this? I will think more! Thank you John xxxlittleditty x nicky HI John -i changed the first line -don't want to annoy and bow to grammar - thank you x

Kat on 15-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
Eek.. yikes... what a great poem, ld!

This spoke to me in 'interesting' ways, and I so admire your luscious use of words in it... I love your mixing and matching - reminds me of Rudolph Steiner's 'Anthroposophy.' Please don't ask me to explain how... I'm a very 'instinctual' commenter! ;o)

We were at the Royal Observatory last week when we took a wee boat journey down the Thames to Greenwich.

You are VERY good, littleditty!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Hello Kat - Thank you -i am pink - here is something on bio-dynamic farming which is a mad read - nothing to do with the poem but something to do with Steiner - bonkers!! - enjoy! He was an interesting one, that Rudolph - Hope London was good to you - glad you liked the poem - thanks Kat xxx

http://www.kheper.net/ecognosis/essays/Biodynamic_500.html

eddiesolo on 23-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
Another great piece LD!

And another nib you clever thing!

I too thought this was a clever piece of writing, very skillful.

Liked it immensely.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
oops 😮 see below! x

littleditty on 23-02-2006
She Tracks an Orbit
Hello Si - the nib came late as it did on Michelangelo - i think i might get one if there is one left over - but nib pixies are not to be second guessed are they? I'm glad you liked this one - i gave it a lot of thought - so Cheers xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:


Gallery (posted on: 03-02-06)
*

Here is my unmade bed and here is a wound; there is a clock tocking time and, for your consideration, here is an installation, it is empty and full to the brim with nothing but mind - and here: a mirror, a coat hook and hanger, space to be 'spatially aware' in; over there - facts, filmed in black and white, are manually thrown in a bin; a sign, EXIT, a hand pointing right; and here, a pamphlet {"Oh! the perfect beauty of a wind turbine!"} for a future exhibit, entitled, "Enlightened Delight."
Archived comments for Gallery
Sunken on 04-02-2006
Gallery
Oh Ditty of Dittsville how I long to wander the corridors of your mind. I would wear slippers so as not to disturb you of course. Tell me, what fascinating exhibits would I find Ms. Little? Would refreshments be served or should I bring a flask? Is photography allowed or, as I suspect, frowned upon. So many questions and so little Ditty (-;
Top, as ever. Respect and light-bulbs.

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tomorrow they expect acquittal

Author's Reply:
Are you on drugs young man? There are undercurrents too...Where's my ventilator? I am glad this one meets with your approval though -i thought you may be would think its a load of rubbish. Respect and light bulbs - thanks 😀 xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 23-02-2006
Gallery
I wonder what happened? This piece seems to be overlooked!

I enjoyed this very much LD and thing more should too!

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Hi Si:-) Thank you for reading it! I thought it wasn't liked - i'm not sure about it as a poem, but it did say what i wanted to. Now, if you enjoyed it -well that's good news!! Thank you - and a 10 too *grins* xxx


The Placebo Prayer (posted on: 03-02-06)
''Rest'' she said, placing her hands around my brain.

''Rest'' she said, placing her hands around my brain. ''Healing occurs through resonance, through reconnection to the original matrix.'' I wish she hadn't said that. 'Reconnecting' suddenly measures the lengthening thread of my detachment. Her hands search for Mid Tide, a tidal rhythm. I remember 2.5 cycles per minute. Soon, she will search for Long Tide, blossoming from dynamic stillness. Has she felt I am not really here? ''Inertia is perceived as shapes followed'' I wonder if she has felt my concrete edges of resistance, my distance. Does she perceive electrical radiance, wind and the expanding horizon? I must relax. The Breath of Life in 8-14 cycles per minute. If I breathe in and out, meditate and let her search for tides and bottles and shells, may be I will come back believe more in the Placebo Prayer, this one, cranio-sacral motion sensed in touches; I wonder ''Rest.'' Is she sensing reciprocal tension movement, in the tissue and fluid of my brain? I must relax. Long Tide in 90 second cycles. Healing. A restoration of tissue and fluid mobility. Why is it so hard, just to breathe out and in?
Archived comments for The Placebo Prayer
Sunken on 03-02-2006
The Placebo Prayer
Right, I'll try again. I can't comment on you for some reason Ms. Ditty. Have they banned me for being crap I wonder? Ahem - anyway, take 2

I once forgot to breathe out and spent an uncomfortable 48 hours in intensive care as a result. The doctors blamed it on my unusually small brain. Cheeky munkys! You Flash very well my dear. As intriguing as a girl who says yes with but the subtlest of wrist movements. Thanks.

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Sargent Pepper's lonely makeup bag

Author's Reply:
Have you ever woken up because you forgot to breathe in? 😮 Breathing out is very beneficial to the whole system Monkey - hope you enjoyed intensive care. I shall see about Flashing more often. Cheers xxxlittleditty x 😀

Kat on 03-02-2006
The Placebo Prayer
Hi ld,

I love this - the title alone does it for me! :o) Such an esoteric thought piece which also has a 'calming' effect (on me at least!). I really admire your language use - well done with this!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... is that you Kat? Glad you liked it and interesting that it had a calming effect... *reaches for ventilator* as i am in a perpetual state of anxiety at the mo!...Ommmmmm ... it was a little about that and was written to calm - it's for my sister x Thanks Kat xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 04-02-2006
The Placebo Prayer
Very good and "brainspheric" piece of writing Nicky.

xnxxx

Author's Reply:
'brainspheric' - nice word! Glad you think it's good. (It's a poem really) Here is a smile i banked earlier: xx:o) Thanks Nic xxx

RDLarson on 04-02-2006
The Placebo Prayer
painful and yet real, touching the mental nerve with breath as the live wire. Very edgy and on target. Great good luck with this. Amazingly it's short and COMPLETE!

Author's Reply:
Hello! I wanted it to be both uncomfortable and calming - so i am glad you thought it edgy. Its close -the senario is a good one for exploring different things - 'touching the mental nerve with breath as the live wire.' - THANKS xxx:O) - It 'was' a poem, wanted it to be short and complete - and i am trying to write more prose, mono/dialogues at the mo! Cheers xxxlittleditty x


White Birds (posted on: 27-01-06)
*

White Birds Everywhere I rest two lilac dove pigeons nest and calling each other, always to the pulse of my heart. I remember your house when we were kids your parents kept white birds in hatches or hutches or cages. Why? I said, they are just white birds; BUT THEY ARE DOVES, you said, DOVES OF PEACE AND LOVE AND FREEDOM. I could have asked you why, Why are they noisy and dirty and fighting - and lonely when you leave them? But I didn't, I didn't want to hurt you then. Who are they? I asked, of the two free, soft, fat, lilac and grey: A PAIR OF DOVE PIGEONS. DOVE PIGEONS OF NOTHING WHO COME HERE EVERY DAY. I could have asked a zillion questions, but I didn't because I didn't want to hurt you. Later, a child's later, it could have been a week or a year, decades, we stood together taller by the aviary, SICK. THEY ARE ALL SICK AND DYING. You could have said you didn't care, but I would have known you were lying. THEY'VE GOT FLU, LIKE THE BLACK DEATH - END OF, and you turned, ambling long-limbed to the house, so I wouldn't see you crying. I couldn't say I did, so I didn't. Didn't want to hurt... Then, after, that evening, I heard the lilac and grey doves roosting on your feelings, older; nestled up together, two sugar almonds, night blue, cooing to the pulse of your breath. We waited it out on the sofa. It was all still before us. On the threshold of day we slept, until I woke and wept for the silent morning chorus. Everywhere I rest two lilac dove pigeons nest and calling each other, always to the pulse of my heart.
Archived comments for White Birds
Griffonner on 27-01-2006
White Birds
I can't believe that I have been given the honour of making the first comment on this, Littleditty! So:

Wow! This is so fantastically nostalgic and emotive - at least for me. I saw, heard, felt, even tasted the moments that you painted... and then there was that somewhat musty, almost suffocating smell of an aviary... it was all there for me, as was a really overwhelming sense of sadness at the very end. I sense there was something important that was unspoken at that ending... it was, I feel, metaphoric.



Author's Reply:
Hello Griffonner - i am totally chuffed with your comment -thank you so much for telling me how you felt when reading this - it is an emotional poem and i had hoped it would be read like you have - overwhelming sadness and a little disorientation, everything you have said - glad you enjoyed xxxlittledity x

teifii on 27-01-2006
White Birds
Couldn't agree more. It's magic. Those doves are going to haunt me.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Daff - thank you - i'm really happy you liked it. xxxlittleditty x

Yutka on 27-01-2006
White Birds
This is an "adorable poem", if I can put it like that. I especially like the second part from: I heard the lilac and grey doves roosting...your poem changes language, it becomes more lyrical, even the language alters, from a matter of fact narrative to a more emotional one, from a "I would not like to hurt ...to "until I woke and wept". Tears are being shed. Emotions are freed.The poet's altering awareness makes an impact on the reader leading to strong thoughts and feelings.
Yutka:)

Author's Reply:
Hi Yukta - that is from where the poem is more adult - the language does change - i had hoped it had grown up a bit, childish, matter of fact to begin and i am glad about the readers altering awareness - i wanted strong thoughts and feelings to come through by the end. Thanks for reading this one - xxxlittleditty x

red-dragon on 27-01-2006
White Birds
Amazing poetry. Well done on your nib - and nom. I rate as a fave. Ann

Author's Reply:
Thank you Ann 🙂 i am happy you liked it and made it a favourite - thank you for telling me...
*blushes* xxxlittleditty x

Kat on 28-01-2006
White Birds
Hi ld

This is an amazing poem - very dense and packed with feeling and insights. ? should that be 'DYING' or have I missed some colour reference (because I'M dense!). ;o)

Be proud... be very proud!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Dear Kat - Thank you - it is dense! and I am really happy you think so! :O) - it's the dead kind of dying - and i always get that wrong! I'm learning *sighs*. Thanks for your Katness here on this poem, glad you enjoyed it - i'm trying to get better at this poetry malarky - you have a great weekend too, our grey skies look better with tinted glasses 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 28-01-2006
White Birds
Brilliant Ms. Ditty. So much so that I'm actually not going to say anything daft. Well done on the nib and the nomo. Very much deserved. You continue to fly - cliched I know, but true.

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Author's Reply:
Oh deary deary me...it has come to pass - i don't know what to say except i am all in a flap - no daftness? OK - thank you Monkey, thank you very much - I'm happy you thought this a good one - i think it is a little girlish - love to Rudy, hamster of fame - dotty says Hi xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 29-01-2006
White Birds
fine poem Miss xxnx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mrs xxnx

Jay on 03-02-2006
White Birds
A great piece, you convey the emotions very well.

Enjoyed it.

Jenn.

Author's Reply:
Hi Jenn aka Jay - where have you been? I'm glad you enjoyed this one - thanks a lot for telling me 😀 xxxlittleditty x


1914-18 Camelford Road, Bristol (posted on: 20-01-06)
edited

The Red Brick Chocolate Factory Up for redevelopment To the right; The cemetery Run down now, to the left. Sleepless, I could lick my lips For either midnight fancy. If it were warmer I might smell hints of the nightshift, Of orange, mint Or the earth turned over. If it were later A choice between bars Or railings, the lining up Of pleasures or the extinguished Desires, placed side by side in rows. If it were earlier Wooden boxes of chocolate drops, A neat selection Of white kiss crosses for the fallen, Each one less than thirty. To the left or to the right The confectionary of our lives Is always in jeopardy.
Archived comments for 1914-18 Camelford Road, Bristol
Sunken on 20-01-2006
1914-18 Camelford Road, Bristol
Oo I so love that ending Ms. Ditty. It was like a Thorntons Toffee cake, have you tried them? They are so good, not quite a Melua moment - but very close. When you say 'last sub' - you mean in this particular series yeah? You can't mean for good, because I wouldn't let ya. Well done on yet another nib. Where do you store them all I wonder. You continue to impress Ms. Ditty and I thinks it's about time you subbed something that was crap - its good to be diverse ya know (-; Rudy says 10, and I agree. Take care and a piece of string.

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Bristol, 5 - Boots buy one get one free offer, 4

Author's Reply:
Hi Sunken - funny how writing is -this popped out as i was about to crash, found it in the morning when i woke up and typed in - i am shameless and sub - i'm sure some crap will come along again shortly, please tell me when it does - thought this one had something - subbed it wondering if you were going to make a necrophilia joke? What's wrong with you??? Perhaps that would have been tasteless - so i understand. I felt sad seeing all those crosses lined up for all those youngsters...read recently that for every 1 year of peace, there are 400 years of war, also boots usually does 3 for 2, so is this a new thing by them? I left Bristol, the 'last sub' was a Bristol one too - as were the last 3 before it - next poem is a London one again, which, when i start writing it, is in danger of being really crap - see what you think Monday. Did you sub one? Must spend some of this internet time reading some - thanks Monkey, love to Rudy xxxlittleditty x

Abel on 20-01-2006
1914-18 Camelford Road, Bristol
A brilliant piece of poetry: the picture of the neighborhood is so very real...I feel as if I'm there. And then the perfect ending. Well done, LD.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Thank you Ward. It was a quick one - but the place and placing was real - sometimes that helps form things. Thanks for telling me you liked this one - good to know - Cheers x

Elfstone on 20-01-2006
1914-18 Camelford Road, Bristol
The juxtapositions in this are punchy. There is not an extra word in it - very good and worthy of the nib if I may say so.
Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Elfstone -thank you - i wanted to keep the juxtaposition tight and appreciate your nod on this one. Thanks a lot xxxlittleditty x

Bradene on 22-01-2006
1914-18 Camelford Road, Bristol
This is one cool poem Death and chocolate. Mmm which to choose? the death of a community is always so sad, When I go back to the village where I was born it's almost indistinguishable from the town that swamped it, and if it weren't for the canal and railway lines you wouldn't even know it existed. Nice one LD Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hello Val - death of desires - the choice was the thrill/emotion of a graveyard at night or the pleasure of chocolate - The place where i was staying had me imagining the factory working, the time of the young men in the cemetary, how change keeps a'coming and how fragile we are. Glad you liked this one Val - xxxlittleditty x

Leila on 24-01-2006
1914-18 Camelford Road, Bristol
I think this is so full of feeling and meaning, its underlying sadness... I enjoyed it enormously. You are a genuinely talented poet. If I could just say one thing, for me, I'd be tempted to open the poem with the words...To the right...and please don't ask why just a gut feeling...oh and by the way the ending is perfect...L

Author's Reply:
Hello Leila - i only had trouble with the first stanza - i was told it was a bit clumsy and rewrote - it did start that way, in one version! I'll look again at it - i wanted it to be like giving directions as well as setting the scene...will look again! The rest you said i will sneak back and read again, when i feel glum..ie soon..! thank you very much 😉 xxx

Apolloneia on 30-01-2006
1914-18 Camelford Road, Bristol
The two Bristol poems are your best poems so far, and generally your poetry, which was always promising and original, flourishes beyond my expectations. xnxxx

Author's Reply:
OO-ERrrr - Mrs P - Thank you. Bristol - hm? The others i wrote there were ok i thought - 'Love Walks in front', 'Full Term' - it is nine months now and i am to decide exactly where it is i would like to reside... perhaps Bristol? I'm a beginner, learning - and these Bristol ones, were may be more poetry than whimsy - thanks nic xxxnx


14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol (posted on: 16-01-06)
Just before we left, reading Keats

Just before we left, reading Keats and after, the coal train drags freight, hypnotised"Can death be sleep" Tamed for trance I recall steam; if the Coke Express still goes laden, from Detroit to Chicago; anything; anything to syncopate against the repeat of a heavy load, the refrain of metal wheel on track "Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream?" I would wake and throw our marbled eyeballs against the chicane, they squeal up the grey stairs of the bridge, look down, agog at the passing; count the carts of the drag freight train, the parting, and gone; I am still to wake and hear the tracks of sound resonate. On Death - Keats Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream, And scenes of bliss pass as a phantom by? The transient pleasures as a vision seem, And yet we think the greatest pain's to die. How strange it is that man on earth should roam, And lead a life of woe, but not forsake His rugged path, nor dare he view alone His future doom which is but to awake.
Archived comments for 14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol
Sunken on 18-01-2006
14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol
Oh my bloody good god and then some young Dittster of... er... Dittyland. What the bloody hell is going on here? A finer than fine write (finer even than Ms. Melua's delicate lacy briefs... oh god, I so need to stop thinking of young Katie in her pants...) Where was I? Oh yeah, wtf (stands for 'what the fuck' - but I don't like saying 'fuck' cause it's not big and it's not clever) But anyway, I'll get to my point soon... which is... why no comments? Have you been bad? Have you spoken ill of someone in authority? I think not, for you have a lovely nib. And how it suits you young Dittster of Dittyville. I like how you wear it at a jaunty angle. I occasionally wear my pants at a jaunty angle, but that's usually more to do with my well documented testicle problem. I do not really think that this is the time or place to bring up such a subject Ms. Ditty and apologise in advance for talking bollocks in your comments box. This is what comes of being raised by primates. Thanks. I shall vote with my finger, for my tongue is running away with me - a bit like the cat did with the spoon... do I have that right? Oh bollocks to it. Well done. Take care and a feather.

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Wolverhampton 3 - Carrier pigeon 2

Author's Reply:
Dear Monkey -i said it would be you -just a few short hours ago -i said, that monkey will come along and he will write a lot of bollocks on this page and all inhibitions will vanish - you are a trailblazer - and i hope you don't find me rude if i say that knobs in public and being in foolish is what we have in common - i don't mind at all about Katie's pants or your pants because i think it is easy and more than fine to say what you feel, you can't be wrong with that, can you? I don't think i was bad, i don't tend to speak ill of anybody - so i don't know why there are no comments here - perhaps the nib means someone else likes it, doesn't it? That's nice - may be someone will come along and say what they feel about it - and why they think that may be - they can't be wrong - may be i will write something on how i feel and what i thought writing this little ditty too - we shall see, young monkey of testicle fame, we shall see. Meanwhile, and however, i think that you thinking this is finer than Melua's delicate lacy briefs is WRONG, just WRONG. Again, you offer up too much - like baked beans, 2 cups of tea, her briefs are really something fine - but i am secretly honoured and pink that you should think so. Thank Pri mate, and for a 10 xxxlittleditty x

Michel on 18-01-2006
14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol
Wonderful.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Michel. Wonderful that you think so -thank you for telling me - thanks a lot xxxlittleditty x

shackleton on 18-01-2006
14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol
"Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream?"

Interesting concept - most probably true. Enjoyed your poem, LD - a touch of class.

Author's Reply:
Hi Shackleton - Keats came up with some good lines! - i'm trying to read some and read this one, just before I left, to the station - not blaming him for my state of mind though 😉 glad you enjoyed the read and think it's a good one -thanks for telling me 😀 xxxlittleditty x

narcissa on 19-01-2006
14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol
Oh my god, what can I say? A new favourite for me and a shouted "10!!!" (and clicked-on, of course). For me this had so many layers - the idea itself "Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream?", the sounds of the train, the feeling that you get when you wake up or when you're falling asleep and everything is dreamlike.
Just wow. Loved it. Thank you
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Hi Laura - glad as a rag that you like it -i don't know - had a brief spell in Bristol and a few poems appeared -i am glad you liked this one, Beks reminded me with her poetry that i ought to respect the sense of sound a littlemore in my poems and i had this in mind the day i wrote this one - now back in London where i will try and find some quiet moments to write some more. A fav - cool 😀 xxx

uppercase on 19-01-2006
14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol
I love this poem it's very well done..erma

Author's Reply:
Thanks Erma - i'm very glad you enjoyed it. Cheers - nicky x

teifii on 25-01-2006
14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol
Brilliant. So atmospheric. I know it is Bristol but why do I keep seing America somewhere behind it?
Daff

Author's Reply:
Detroit to Chicago - the Coke Express was an old U>S train -and i don't know if it exists anymore. I wondered if this train came from Wales and was the last of the piles of black stuff i used i jump around on - wondered where it was going to - the Coke Express was just a leap out of the poem to begin a more surreal episode. Glad you thought it atmospheric -thank you Daff xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 30-01-2006
14.28, Stapleton Hill, Bristol


Author's Reply:
Thanks - a big fat ten :O)


Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns - C in a Circle Apolloneia Rosco littleditty (posted on: 13-01-06)
poem written by dreamers

We are like the Tower of London And the "Mountain of Light" Countless footsteps imprisoned in this hour Impressions; the sunlight on an iron bell ringing out The legendary heritage and the warning of bad luck Once offered for sale now hidden in dark Did we sign our politically correct surrender And has any Parliament the power to imprison us Cut off from all assets, we await our trial White females wearing nothing but invisible diadems How are we to dress? The mills of Empire quiet now To Asiatic shores the lace makers retreat The sensible and carefree designed For tortured souls in feminine attire Of intimate things we dare not speak Diamond. Ruby. Pearl of an Emerald Isle Slip transparent to dock on slopes of Bristol Slave ships of provocative ghosts march up White Lady's Road Each cross their hearts, hope to die again on Black Boy's Hill Linen I say, a wonderful robe of domestic beauty Athens by night running Marathons of brothers and sisters With tears in their eyes laughing, chests pounding Until everything is idle; alight C in a Circle Apolloneia Rosco littleditty fun in the round 12/01/06
Archived comments for Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns - C in a Circle Apolloneia Rosco littleditty
Apolloneia on 13-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
It all happened so quickly. Almost all of my friends online at the same time. How interesting. It's full of energy. So strange, I like it very much. Can't rate it since I am one of the 'dreamers'. But writing it with you offered me some healing. Thanks Nicky and Ross. xxxnx

Author's Reply:
may be there will be others - this one has a MySterious quality to it *ROLF* - laughing is good medicine, so is writing, so is friendship - i enjoyed this, interesting! xxxnx

e-griff on 13-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
I think the much used word 'evocative' would be good hear, it is. Echoes from past centuries ring around the words, ideas and dreams (as you say)

Keep dreaming, you lot, I enjoyed that one 🙂

Author's Reply:
Dear 'Griff - bah - i thought you were joining in - ' 'evocative' would be good TO hear', i thought you meant - and i was going to see if we could put that lovely much used word into the poem somewhere .........since you confessed to a boo-boo, i might anyway, i just might .....:O) Thanks for commenting, very glad you enjoyed xxx

e-griff on 13-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
I could pretend that 'good hear' was an intended phrase, but it was one of those things you see just after you press the submit button, on a thread that you can't edit 🙂

Author's Reply:
hmmm... what about 'evocative ghosts' instead of 'old ghosts'? hmmm....bit of a rhyme with 'dock' - i shall put it to the board of directors :O) xxx (just thought that 'provocative ghosts' might be a good alternative ;o) x

Rosco on 14-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
There's a great sense of movement through space and time on this piece. You're flying so fast you don't really want to think about the implications except that dreamers have circled the men of action, outdistanced time, and found solace.

Author's Reply:
You put things well - certainly, there was some solace in this - writing - a focus, some consolation for sure - like friendship. xxx

Jolen on 15-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
Thank the universe for such dreamers! I loved this. Well done on blending three strong and talented voices into a well written and moving piece.. Woooooooooo hooooooooo! How come this don't have a nib?

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
So -you liked it? nibs schmibs - if you liked it then WOoooOooOOOOOooooOOOO HOoooOoooOOOO! I read it again because you liked it - i liked it too - it all happened very quickly and it is, as is, with only two words changed after the end appeared - and one of those was prompted by Mr-e-griff's comment.

A good exercise, and a lot of fun - a bonus that the end result is liked - Cool! xxxlittleDot x

Elfstone on 15-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
Honestly not sure what to say about this! It's got something, but I don't no just what. It flows very well; the words are well chosen; there is a beauty about it, but I haven't a clue what it's *about* if you see what I mean. Confusing, intriguing. I'll come back to it.

Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Dear Elfstone - what a lovely comment...there were three people 'seeing' when we wrote it - obviously we have the shared themes/ideas that come with some friendship, but three dreamers welcome another in the reading of it - i hope you enjoy whatever you find when you come back to it. Add a verse if you like! (In fact - i think Mr e-griff would join you in the play - or if you two would like to start part two, the first two lines could stay, and we can see where another dream goes!) Best wishes Elfstone xxxlittleditty x

We are like the Tower of London
And the "Mountain of Light"

e-griff on 15-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
I didn't realise this was a dynamic exercise, or I wooda (literate, huh?) Can I have a go now?

Author's Reply:
Hey mr griff - it is because of you that we know have provocative ghosts in this poem -of course it is dynamic - off you go - the 'huh' thing suits you, by the way! I've just replied to Elfstone and invited Dream sequence two - see above comment - or for you both to add a verse, a line, whatever to the original -What do you think, huh? (i think i'm more of an 'eh?' kinda gal...mmm.) To begin, I shall sit back and enjoy the movie, pop in to see what is to become of it all. 😀 Enjoy! xxxlittleditty x

We are like the Tower of London
And the "Mountain of Light"

e-griff on 15-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
OK, I have to say that me old brain ain't as up to it as you interlectricals ... but seriously you will see I ran out of steam... thought I'd have a shot, though!

OK, opinion then. I found from the third verse on, the poem was pretty assured. Any changes would be tinkering (but tinkering is good). My attention focussed on the first and second verses (I'm a blue-collar poet, no stanzas here), thus:

I was disconcerted by the intrusion of the quote marks around “Mountain of Light” in themselves. Additionally, the phrase seems to be unnecessarily obscure, requiring knowledge to comprehend why it is mentioned. (which is bad for your poem). Why not simply (and understandably in reference to the Tower) Koh-I-Noor? (if I understand it correctly).

Impressions; the sunlight on an iron bell ringing out
The legendary heritage and the warning of bad luck
Once offered for sale now hidden in dark

After ‘Impressions’ (a full colon, pse!), IMO, this calls for a snappy, dislocated style, a flick-flick of the 'impressions' . However the current introduction of 'the' civilises and smoothes it. Also, 'legendary heritage' is a bumpy old phrase, innit? AND difficult to say? 🙂
There is also potential misunderstanding in the phrasing, where ‘sunlight’ seems to be the subject of the verb ‘ringing’.

To illustrate (only) I'd be tempted to say something like:

Impressions: sunlight on an iron bell which rings out
legend, heritage and warning of bad luck.
Once offered for sale now hidden in dark

I'd also question if ' bad luck' needs to be there, but I’m not the author.

Frankly, I don't get the meaning of the last line, but notwithstanding, do you need 'for sale' or ' in dark' ? (less is more 🙂 ) Maybe ‘That once offered, now hid.’

Keeping up the staccato feel, in the next verse, I’d go for:

Did we sign our politically correct surrender?
Has any Parliament the power to imprison us?

Which fits with the later ‘How are we to dress?’

and 'cut off from all assets' is a bit dodgy to my eyes (what are 'all assets') but here again, not fully knowing the author’s intention, I can’t suggest anything.

I do also have trouble with the arse-about-face line (what’s the technical term?:-) ) ‘To Asiatic shores the lace makers retreat’ and its reflection ‘Of intimate things we dare not speak’ I realise they may be intended, but...

But, running out of understanding, and sorry I could not be more helpful, I’ll call a halt. JohnG



Author's Reply:
Blimey! I will see what it looks like with your changes - we didn't change anything though except one word and adding 'provocative'. I want to see what you did - the egriff edit! I'll do it, just to see! No new verses to add? ok then - but if Elfstone or anyone starts another one, i'm going to request that you continue with it! Thanks for your time, interest and interaction - that's poetry, Doc x
EDIT
We are like the Tower of London
And the Mountain of Light
Countless footsteps imprisoned in this hour
Impressions: sunlight on an iron bell ringing out
Legend, heritage, the warning of bad luck
Once offered for sale now hidden in dark

The Koh-I-Noor curse waits...

Did we sign our politically correct surrender?
Has any Parliament the power to imprison us?
Cut off from all assets, we await our trial
White females wearing nothing but invisible diadems

How are we to dress?
The mills of Empire quiet now
To Asiatic shores the lace makers retreat
The sensible and carefree designed
For tortured souls in feminine attire
Of intimate things we dare not speak

Diamond. Ruby. Pearl of an Emerald Isle
Slip transparent to dock on slopes of Bristol
Slave ships of provocative ghosts march up White Lady's Road
Each cross their hearts, hope to die again on Black Boy's Hill

Linen I say, a wonderful robe of domestic beauty
Athens by night running Marathons of brothers and sisters
With tears in their eyes laughing, chests pounding
Until everything is idle; alight

Lets say the arse about face bit - what is the technical term? - should remain to age the piece, there comes a bunch of provocative ghosts from the times of slavery also - so - so be it. Won't fiddle with it anymore- but your suggestions are here now, to see - i like the Koh-i-noor diamond in there! xxx

e-griff on 15-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
oops! sorry line should probably have read
'That once offered, now is hid' or
'That once was offered, now is hid' --- depending on the exact meaning you are aiming for.

Can you explain how you are doing this? Adding verses? I think it's very difficult to add anything sensibly unless you are privy to the overall plot (which you'll see from the above, I'm not completely) I do understand most of it, but...

*wuzzled, Hemel Hempstead* G

Author's Reply:
Dear Wuzzled -i just wrote you a long reply -nipped off to get info on the Kohinoor diamond and it's all gone -vanished. So -this is a short version: Now -the poem was a parce the parcel poem, happened in a flash, with only friends shared themes as background, nothing prearranged - so *strokes philosophical beard* no one is privy to the overall plot...Nothing was changed, except one word and me adding your evocative provocative ghosts. I will edit in your ideas purely for me to 'see' what you did! I wondered if you and Elf wanted to offer any verses or lines or start another -i suppose the ideas thrown up by this poem could be our shared background idea -but there are no rules as to what could become of it! So - leading the way with your idea - i challenge you to add, willy-nilly and at your own pleasure and pace to the first stanz...verse of the new dream:



We are like the Tower of London

And the Kohinoor...



by pm or here mr Griff? 😀 Elfstone?






e-griff on 18-01-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
still not sure I fully comprennate, captain! *salutes*

and it is Koh-I-Noor. 🙂

Author's Reply:
me neither...and oops, sorry captain, will shimmy up the riggins and rectify (:o did that sound rude? sorry, unintentional yer'onor...) bows, over, out xxxlittleditty x

Macjoyce on 10-03-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns
Really good. Not only does it have the word diadem in it, but there's a line that goes "Did we sign our politically correct surrender".

No, we didn't. When do the people get to sign anything?

What's Koh-i-Noor?

Author's Reply:
It's a diamond and there's a curse....thanks for popping in on this speedy email poem, by three funny friends xxx

Macjoyce on 22-11-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns (C in a Circle Apolloneia Rosco littleditty)
White females wearing nothing but invisible diadems.

Fuck.

Yes.


Author's Reply:
😀

Macjoyce on 22-11-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns (C in a Circle Apolloneia Rosco littleditty)
Slightly drunk, but have only just noticed.

Egad.

Yes.


Author's Reply:
pretty trollied myself, noticed ages ago though and have been wondering what Egad could mean - it was a buzz to read this one again, thanks for visiting! xxxldx

Macjoyce on 22-11-2006
Dreamers Find Solace In Their Towns (C in a Circle Apolloneia Rosco littleditty)
I'm sorry to go on about this, and you doubtless think I'm getting over-excited, but the thing is, I didn't realise at first how amazing that one line is.

White females wearing nothing but invisible diadems.

It's the morning now and I'm sober, and yet I still can't get over that line. It could probably even stand alone as a poem in its own right, called "Britain" or something. You may think I'm over-reacting, but I honestly think this one line has hit the target more than any line I have ever read, including the classics. You have managed to sum up, in one short, highly subtle and metaphorical sentence, the state of modern British society and culture. I am intensely jealous.

The modern British way is the cheapness and emptiness represented by Page 3 tits in the Sun. It replaces the former pomp and Empire that the British still believe they possess. But that is just an invisible diadem. The British are, essentially, naked without their empire.

How does one even go about composing a line like that? How is it possible to think in such a perfect way? Sorry if I'm going mad here, but this one line represents everything I want to be able to do, and can't.


Author's Reply:
Hi Mac - its a great line! You have written about this theme and very well too - remembering your demo one right now - will nip about and read some more from you, you have others i think on the theme of what these little rocks think they are all about - i like your ideas - naked without their empire. What are we seeing now? Three of us wrote this one - canada, greece and bristol - usually its London for me, you too i think? Look forward to what you see next! Thanks Mac - nicky x


Full Term (posted on: 09-01-06)
Contractions - uncomfortable - impressions welcome.

It is nine months now and I am to decide Exactly where it is I would like to reside To put myself in a basket of wicker Amongst the tall reeds by the banks of a river No note, return this baggage to sender Declaring the carer unfit... On a doorstep wrapped in a poor yellow blanket Declaring the wearer unfit for the banquet A black bin unclean, in yesterday's paper In plastic or tin, in a fast food container Separately placed... Separately placed in recycled ecology green For collection or rejection unheard or unseen It's nine months now and I am to deliver: A basket of wicker which floats down the river
Archived comments for Full Term
Jolen on 09-01-2006
Full Term
Nicky,
I told you before this one is brilliant. And it is! If possible your editing makes it more powerful than before. I did notice a typo, however, 'carer' did you mean carrier? Not sure, but anyways, I got this poem pretty well. imo. This speaks to many things, but one thing that it definitely says is that the author is extremely talented and puts it out there. Good for you. I am such a fan!
I gave you my impressions on this, so I'll leave it to the others to share theirs now as well.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen - Thank you so much for listening to this one - I am thinking about the typo you are pointing out - its an idea, but i wanted the rhyme....with wearer, this one may change as i wrote it/edited edited edited edited so recently. As i said - thank you for sharing your impressions - i am glad that i shared some of mine too! Ta Luv, xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 10-01-2006
Full Term
You're original and brainy.

xxxnx

Author's Reply:
Is that a typo? rainy? I think it ends quite optimistically nic? Rivers are nice, no? :)xxnxx

Apolloneia on 10-01-2006
Full Term
i forgot to mention one more impression: you're as smart as a whip.

Author's Reply:
:Oo *issues warrant for immediate arrest*

*arrests self also, as a precautionary measure against approaching joke*


Sunken on 10-01-2006
Full Term
It is at times like these young Dittster of Dittsterville, on a dark and dank January day, that I am reminded of a tragic shopping trolley incident at Tescoville. None of this is relative to your fantasticular poem tho, so I will shut the fcuk up. Thanks. Eat plenty of chocolate and dance like a robot to an 80's electro pop tune. Thanks.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Aston Villa 2 - Cup of tea 4

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken, I am honoured and again, slightly concerned, that a cup of tea is awarded 4 and this poem gets a 10 - that's 2.5 cups of tea and surely it doesn't take that long to read Sunken? That's exactly how the shopping trolley tragedy came about you know - so i am avoiding chocolate and supermarkets....thanks chuck (enjoy :http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/greatrobotdancing.html)xxxlittleditty x


The Bite and the Sting (posted on: 09-01-06)
edited just a 'small' amount x UKAnon poem.

My veins are drained And you satiated, Stronger but slow, Swollen and heavy An easy target, Ripe. There is no need For red ink blot stains, To write a poem Or call your name To stop your fat body Flying straight at escape routes Now much narrower than before. However naturally, What next feeds on you Eats me; and so consumed Have mercy, I cannot watch us die Or excuse you yet For not seeing my need To also close my eyes.
Archived comments for The Bite and the Sting
Apolloneia on 09-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
For some reason this reminds me of summer 2005. And just like Down the Barrel of a hunting gun by Rosco, the first lines of your poem are extremely memorable. Amazing poem. xxnx

Author's Reply:
and this one reminds me also of the autumn - did i read this one into the machine? I am going to try and see if Lorna's machine can hep me play sounds as i haven't been able to listen, neither to rosco's yet, will search for the CD's and see if i can but i am not supposed to download anything here - i am so scared of blowing up her PHD! I like this poem - your word, narrowness, had to go in - narrow escapes. Thank you - as always -thank you xxnxx

Apolloneia on 09-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
It's pretty safe to download mp3s don't worry about that. I never worried about it. You're welcome - you're welcome xxnxx

Author's Reply:
ok - i will try x

Kat on 09-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
Hi ld

A fine and luscious poem vis-a-vis the imagery and sensations evoked and I like the title very much - has a cause and effect relationship like perhaps the content of the poem? Really liked:

'To stop your fat body
Flying straight at escape routes
Now much narrower than before.'

Great writing!

I loved the quirkiness and originality of 'Bagdad Cafe' - thanks again for posting it to me!

Kat x


Author's Reply:
Dear Kat - I like the title too for the reasons you point out - i am really glad that you like this one and you got something from it. Cheers! xxxlittleditty x

(You're very welcome -thought you'd like the quirkiness! x)

Apolloneia on 12-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
Now Nibbers, this one has a Great Read posted Ukanonymously, it's a great thing that it got a great read, because it's a great poem. Furthermore as you can see below it's practically the same poem, Littlenon-anonymousDitty has changed 1 word -- and I think it's now even better.

Internationally speaking this poem that enchanted various people from all over the world should be re-nibbed.

My veins are drained
And you satiated,
Stronger but slow,
Swollen and heavy
An easy target,
Ripe.

There is no need
For red ink blot stains,
To write a poem
Or call your name
To stop your fat body
Flying straight at escape routes
Now much smaller than before.

However naturally,
What next feeds on you
Eats me; and so consumed
Have mercy,
I cannot watch us die
Or excuse you yet
For not seeing my need
To also close my eyes.

Author's Reply:
Dear NicoPop - Thank you - if you think so, then who needs another nib? - the first nibble was good because it told me that someone else thought it was a good poem - which at the time made a count of 3 thumbs up, for it, which for a littleditty like me is a good thing, as i am learning what i think is good. Cheers my dear xxxlittledotty xnx

freya on 12-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
I came on here to say what I see Nicoletta has already noted: where's the nib? One of the most striking poems I've read in a long time and honest littledittyperson if I could open the original e-mail on which I wrote a few thousand words on this I'd post some of it, but as it is I did something stupid by locking up all my mail somehow and I think it's lost forever to the cyberspace of my machine. I'm just TOO tired to rethink this right now. And I won't tell you yet again that I'll come back later either, 'cos I don't want Tai-Li coming on here and writng 'promises, promises' while she grins very widely and points in my direction!! O:) But this is still such a powerful write to me. Shelagh xx

Author's Reply:
Hello Shelagh - Thank you - you helped me to see this as a poem to keep - did i say over there on UKAnon that i really wasn't sure about it? - i think i did - so thank you. I like this poem now - the nib looked good with it i think - like a mosquito full with blood!!!!!! Is is necessary to want for another one? Nah - you like the poem and i can always imagine the mosquito's nib - who could ask for more? Except....Ahhh... i feel a song coming on...thanks to Babs: *sings* Memories - Like the corners of my mind...Misty watercolor memories....Of the way we were......Scattered pictures....Of the smiles we left behind...Smiles we gave to one another.....For the way we were....(sorry;o... i am feeling a bit silly today - truly, a big thank you for your support with this poem, Shelagh xxxlittleditty x)


e-griff on 12-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
Wow! I missed this up till now ! All the above and more. Excellent! 🙂

And, yes, smaller HAD to go, and narrow is right.

Couldn't find anything to pick at, just read it!

Author's Reply:
A 'Wow' from you is really something. You know, i appreciate your eye - your honest e-gruff eye - please tell me when you see something that doesn't feel right - i have missed that - it is what i am here for. Today, this poem means a lot to me - today i'm closing my eyes, but glad yours were open and that you left such a positive message about the poem -thanks - you are a valued critter xxxlittleditty xnicky x

narcissa on 12-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
This builds and builds with every line, it feels so heavy (in a good way! very effective mood) and oppressive and.. ooh, it just gives me the shivers. SUCH effective emotive writing.
I agree with the above commenters - it needs a nib!
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Hello Laura - heavy/oppressive is a good word for it! i am really glad that you thought it builds and that you thought it effective - nibs shmibs! *it had one nib subbed under UKAnonymous - it's greedy to want another one :D* - your opinion is what really counts - i appreciate it -thank you xxxnicky x

RDLarson on 14-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
More vicious and surely more sweet than I could have imagined, this cosmic poem speaks volumes of fall, heat and bored as much as it does of sting/bite. The threat is slow and dire but cruel. It says so much I can read it a thousand times.

Author's Reply:
Well -what can i say? -Thank you for such an enthusiastic reaction -i am so glad that you got something from this read - also that you told me some of what it said to you - thank you so much for the clear comments and chosing it as a fav! Thanks a lot xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 14-01-2006
The Bite and the Sting
I thought I'd commented on this Ms. Ditty. I think I said something about parrots, bibles anda stray raisin that I once found in my Special K. You may want to juggle these items around a little and you should end up with my original comment. It's all good, a bit like Bisto. Thanks. Take care and note book.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Salford, 3 - Atlantic ocean, 5

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - I am wondering if you are recycling another comment from another piece or whether you commented on this at UKAnon? But, that is not important right now because, as all things you mentioned are relevant, i think you are channeling - i recommend you eat the raisin as this kind of psychic ability is draining - please, check the raisin is not a squashed mosquito - as perhaps that was what you were seeing - you are amazing and i am glad you stopped by :O) xxxlittleditty x


Love Walks In Front (posted on: 06-01-06)
*

Looking for something misplaced She says, pained: It's behind you, There; and he gathers up what he needs To place it safely in his pocket. Through pursed lips: Pockets, She says; sounding his childhood name, A cartoon caricature - fictional. In fact, they are post words, Scattered letters are formula dancing. He said. She said. All vanishing symbols Reappearing in an illustration called Realism. His version, looking for something Misplaced; She said: Why can't we ever Do anything side by side, together? It is something they cannot grasp. He is always behind Love's gate And she, waits or walks in front. He explains that her curls are leaping fish And in each movement, he sees a girl, A boyish gait, a woman of curves, A person of experience, searching the skyline. Love walks in front.
Archived comments for Love Walks In Front
Apolloneia on 06-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
this one is very good Nicky. top write.
xxxpaninix

Author's Reply:
Hello panini toastie-san - i'm glad you like this one. I wanted it easy and open - but had feared it was too much that, and had lost some meaning in the wind. xxxnx

Apolloneia on 06-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
It has a meaning and a message, and if some is lost then what can I say: it's better now! maybe you didn't need what has been lost in the wind? Or something like that.
Now Geminini Listen to Libranini. It's FINE. Easy and Open = GREAT.

Author's Reply:
Ok - Roger, over - glad you think so - wanted you to see it and i'm glad that easy and open still has a meaning and message in it - OUT.... Shake it all about, do the hokeykokey and you turn around, that's what it's all about..oooooohhhhhh, the hokeykokey, ohhhhhhhhhh....Do you have the hokey kokey in Greece? oh dear...gone silly - 🙂 x

Sunken on 06-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
Lol, just laughing at your 'hokey kokey' young Dittster. I do sometimes sense that you are slightly mad. I don't mean to be rude - it is in fact a compliment. You don't need me to tell you how good you are - so I won't... I'll feel bad if I don't though? This is quite a quandary I find myself in Ms. Ditts. I shall telephone the operator and see what she thinks. In the meantime I shall make use of my right as fully paid up Ukaneer to place my vote. Thanks. Take care and a stamp.

s
u
n
k
e
n

missing presumed drunk

Author's Reply:
Dear Sun of Ken - i am somewhat pleased you did not see the foolery on my other sub, now deleted by my solicitor, as your 'sometimes' would have been replaced by certainty -and where oh where is the fun in that? I am honoured by your compliment but must *blush* and say say 'no..no..tis not true' and then giggle foolishly like a girl. Now -is it that Dell girl again? or just your common-a-garden comely, homely type operator? - for it is her opinion which counts, you know - not some hussy on hand at a help line. She speaks and i would listen too. Bless you for your thoughts and that magic 10 - unfortunately, i don't think they have the hokey kokey in Greece, do you? xxxlittledotty x

Apolloneia on 08-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
Hokey Kokey? I believe at least one Greek has imported Kokey Hokey.

Author's Reply:
...actually...probably invented it? * *

Apolloneia on 08-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
characature puzzles me.

Author's Reply:
oh...DER. TA NIC - xxxx and for coming back to this lonely piece xxx

narcissa on 08-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
This is beautiful, I love the speakers and your use of the different perspective, the aching feeling of the narrative and your overall Love personification.
A ten from me since I think it's beautiful (I whispered it out loud). But I don't think you need that last line, or at least not as a last line. I think "Love walks in front" is so SO powerful it could end the poem. If you wanted, of course!
Wow, I'm off to read this again 😀
Laura x

Author's Reply:
gosh -thank you - i am really glad you stopped to tell me -as i am not convinced by this little ditty! The last line -about not being able to grasp/grab or fully comprehend Love is maybe better as an intro line - you could be right -however - I don't like intro Lines! Oh boy! What am i to do:O) I will take a look now and have a ponder -thanks for your thumbs up and for giving me something to work on with this one -Cheers! xxxlittleditty x Idea -what about putting the line 'It's something they cannot grasp' after she speaks? hmm...*twiddles mustache* :O) I think i quite like it! Ta! xxxx Yup -it's settled - it's an edit! Thanks! xxx




littleditty on 09-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
Yup -it's settled - it's an edit! Thanks! xxx

Author's Reply:

narcissa on 09-01-2006
Love Walks In Front (edited)
I was just going to comment and say that I didn't mean as an intro line, just somewhere else, but you've done that anyway which I'm relieved about (I was worried we'd got our wires crossed!) I like that where you've put it, and I like the ending even more now 🙂
Laura x

Author's Reply:
Good! Thanks Chuck xxxlittleditty x

Kat on 10-01-2006
Love Walks In Front (edited)
Hi ld
This is mighty fine poetry, and I see it's been honed and tweaked to *whispers* perfection...The last stanza, and that ending repeating the great title...BRAVISSIMO!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Dear Kat - I wasn't quite happy with it, i wrote it quickly but needed these past few days to feel right about it. A little help from a few good folk and i think it is done. Your comment has me beaming from ear to ear by the way - did i tell you that this week is The Week of The Ear? Well - it is. There is not enough listening going on in the world, Kat - but your ears have been nominated for a special award, by the members of the Two-to-One club (they whisper too, are fairly anti mouths, but are a good bunch) Thanks for your ears here Kat - you're a gem xxxlittleditty x

AnthonyEvans on 11-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
you tell 'em sister, i think tina turner could do this one. can't you just hear her belting out: 'love walks in front.' nina simone could probably do it too (from the other side).

i kinda liked this one littleditty, though i missed certain plot points but then that's me these days, thinking it terms of plot points, what's going on with me?

anyway, the only thing i took offence to in this poem was a certain dashing dash in stanza number four; i'd replace the dash with a semi-colon. and now i really am beginning to wonder what is up with me, me! recommending a semi-colon. i should hate those kind of things, a plain-spoken man like me. anyway, the semi-detatched, i mean semi-colon would fit in like this:

His version, looking for something
Misplaced; She said: Why can't we ever
Do anything side by side, together?

this way, i'd be sure that she was saying 'why can't' instead of thinking that maybe she had said 'his version ...'

small things but i'm in a small mood today. and that's another thing that's been bugging me of late, where has all my passion gone! but enough of my troubles.

and best wishes to you, anthony.


Author's Reply:
Tina Turner? oh........ HAhhHAhHAhHAhhahHAHAA!!!!! At least not Sealine Dieyoung whatever her name is ... nightmare - ask Sunken, he knows. Ok - Tina or Nina can have it if they want, either of them belting this out and who cares about plot points? Now i have to rush off right now; now -there is sunshine, which i am told is good for me -but - your semicolon thing looks so nice - i will look again this evening ants - i like semi colons very much, truth is i have just woken up and have no brain for at least half an hour more and i must go out now to the bank. Thank you - think big Doc - the future is bright...surely yours is *sings* ...al ways look on the bright side....of life...dee doo de doo di doo di doo di do.......* xxxnicky x (done it - the dash is history xxx)

Abel on 11-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
Superb, complicated, lovely imagery, LD.
"He explains that her curls are leaping fish
And in each movement, he sees a girl,
A boyish gait, a woman of curves,
A person of experience, searching the skyline."
Wow. One to be read many times.

Ward

Author's Reply:
Hooray! I'm very glad you liked it - thank you for telling me - thanks a lot xxxnicky x

Leila on 11-01-2006
Love Walks In Front
This is such an appealing poem, I've read it a few times now and I just want to let you know how much I like it. Ward has just mentioned the lines which are my favourites too, so nicely done...L

Author's Reply:
Hello Leila - 'appealing' is a good word for it - i wanted it to be comfortable to read, enjoyable, so i am very glad you liked it - thank you for telling me - thanks a lot xxxnicky x


The Phoenix Lives T.G (posted on: 02-01-06)
a poem by my sister -

The Phoenix got sick The ancestral culling Did little To strengthen her spirit She denies herself rage For she learnt Rage is what turns people Into black shirts And her people into dirt. Her clever mind With rage imploded Disorganises that which she knows For she knows too much This brings calamity in waiting Perennial self hate and Final Demands Before the Final Solution? She knows more about this Than they give her credit The Phoenix lives A lonely life with no true rest For all she's known Are burning nests T.G
Archived comments for The Phoenix Lives T.G
Apolloneia on 02-01-2006
The Pheonix Lives
for the final stanza especially your sister deserves a ten!
xxxnx

Author's Reply:
Nic -I think so too - and for the stanza before it, i think she deserves at least a ten too - either that or at least 3,680... she'll be pleased you think so -i think she's got something with this one and should write more :o)xxxnx

littleditty on 02-01-2006
The Pheonix Lives
Dear nibby person -i can see her smiling, blushing even...Thank you :O) xxxx

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 02-01-2006
The Pheonix Lives
Hi LD,

What a wonderful write by your sister.

Get her to write more she has a talent.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Hi Si:-) She's a busy bee - but your comment might just persuade her ;O) thanks for stopping by Si xxxlittleditty x

woodbine on 02-01-2006
The Pheonix Lives
Dear Little D,
Your sister is no slouch as a wordsmith. Maybe you could encourage her to open an account. I'm sure she would find a warm welcome. Is the problem that she doesn't have a
computer online?

Happy New Year!
John

Author's Reply:
Dear John - i tried - i think she might - excuse me a mo. - *Oi - sibling - go and read a poem or too by this man - he is a neighbour of yours, and will be very much up your street!* She is online and it looks like she is getting the warm welcoming kick up the incentive that might just persuade her, what with all these lovely comments:o) - thank you John xxxnicky x

teifii on 02-01-2006
The Pheonix Lives
Lovely poem. She should be congratulated. last verse is brilliant.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hello Daff - Thanks for telling her - she will be chuffed you think so. A happy new year to you! xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 02-01-2006
The Pheonix Lives
Holy Hell! She is very talented! I see brilliance runs in the family....... she should be posting too. Thanks for sharing this. I think the message she delivers is strong and very well conveyed. Very much deserving of the nib!
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hello loverly Joleeen - You think she's talented??? *puffs chest in proud sisterly fashion* and brilliance runs...*blushes foolishly, becomes tongue tied*.....sknahT neeeloJ mery vuch - it IS a strong message - i agree - xxxnicky x

Bradene on 04-01-2006
The Pheonix Lives
Strong and very evocative, she should definitely write more. Love Val x

Author's Reply:
Hello Val - happy new year to you! She will be happy to hear that - i hope she does. Thank you Val :O)xxxlittleditty x

Sunken on 04-01-2006
The Pheonix Lives
Hiya Dits Sis - check this, I'm doing an electric boogaloo from the 1984 classic 'Break dance'... Ok, I look a proper (insert expletive), but at least I'm trying. It's cold outside... and the paints peeling off my walls... there's a man outside, in a long coat, grey hat, smoking a cigarette... Sorry, I was inexplicably taken over by the spirit of some eighties minimoog pop star for a sec. So anyway, how are you? Great piece, killer ending. Deserves the nib. I also have a KitKat if you want it? Thanks. Take care and misunderstood friend to a small but friendly pub on the outskirts of a town twined with love.

s
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k
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he can only count to nine because he lost a finger in a kite related bet

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - You know I hate to ask, but are friends electric? Thank you for appearing here - long ago, she liked the 57 spaghetti one that i showed her btw - i hope she joins up xxxL of Ditty

Lightweight on 11-04-2006
The Phoenix Lives ©T.G
Just signed up for a couple of weeks to say thank you for all the messages of encouragement. This UKA is a site a pheonix could rest without the fear of being scorched! As littleditty mentioned, I am too busy to start posting seriously (hence the name lightweight) but hope to return next summer.

Thanks again.
Tanya


Author's Reply:

Sunken on 12-04-2006
The Phoenix Lives ©T.G
Next summer! Blimey Tanya, that's a year away. Due to a low woman count I need as much female interaction as possible! You can't just flaunt your femininity around willy nilly and then withdraw it on a whim. This is most distressing for a munky, I may need to double my banana intake for a while, either that or have a good old swinging session (by which I don't mean having sex with a neighbors wife... actually I think he's divorced... well anyway, it doesn't mean having sex with him either). Please get yourself sorted and return to us safely Ms. Weight of Light fame. Friends are indeed electric. Thanks.

s
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something in the way she sneers

Author's Reply:


People of The Lie (posted on: 26-12-05)
~an edit~ sadistic tendencies - where do they come from?

Although you loved him, you also revelled in his humiliation, when his older surety was ridiculed, his place in the worlda schism, irreparable. You, a witness, unable to acknowledge the pleasure in this administered damage, instead admired his footsteps, your fledgling predator to forever protect his greatest pretence. However, from under the feathers of yours', Swan and Peacock both have eyes of stone and flashing infrequently is the pleasure you take from what you never would condone.
Archived comments for People of The Lie
Sunken on 27-12-2005
People of The Lie
This is another piece that requires careful study young Ditty of Little fame. You are certainly a deep one. It isn't easy for a shallow primate like myself to comment on something so evolved. There is, if you dig deep, a compliment there somewhere. Surprised you haven't had more comment. I reckon everyones flaked out or they're shopping - idiots. Another slice of class from the hand of Ditty. If I had a hat I would incline it towards you. I don't, but I do have a spearmint chewing gum to hand? I shall place it on my head out of respect for your poem. I'll go now Dittster, I'm losing it.

s
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k
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he misread the instructions and ended up in 1979

Author's Reply:
Sunken - you are very kind for a monkey, you know? I too am a monkey, of 1968 little fame, who misread the instructions an ended up here - and this poem is a bit cheeky really - i was very fat so couldn't do much cheeky monkey business and was forced to observe - and this is what i saw - i thought i had been a bit short sighted and that it was all wrong -now, i don't care because i can see chewing gum on your head. Thank you :o) xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 27-12-2005
People of The Lie
Holy Hell Nicky!

This one is intense and well executed. How often this happens it seems...

Your poems are strong always and so very moving. The reader can identify well... Which is nice, then you give them such imagery that just shakes the foundations... I love that!
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Jolen - i am all a fluster and don't know what to type here now.... i am so glad you got something from this -i thought i was all on my own with it - thank you so much for telling me that i'm not - *still blushing* you said such lovely things that i am going to have to go for a walk to the kitchen and have a snack - Thank you Joleeeeeeen :O)) xxxxxxx

Apolloneia on 28-12-2005
People of The Lie
it's better now and it's a very strong poem Turtelini!
xxxnicoletta-san x

Author's Reply:
hello Nico of Lettas (sunken is teaching me the art of commenting) - thank you for appearing here and for your ideas on this one - it is better... but i think i will edit again one day as it still doesn't feel quite right...xxxni-ki-chanxxx

woodbine on 29-12-2005
People of The Lie
Dear Little Ditty,

I put my hands up and confess that I need to mull it over and shall have to come back to you on this one. I have read it several times but the function in my brain that makes the connections isn't firing too well. I wanted you to know that I hadn't just skimmed it and moved on.
Best wishes,
John

Author's Reply:
Dear John - thank you for mulling - i appreciate it -i feared that this was too ??? to be enjoyed so i will come back too, and pm you with some of my ideas about it in a few days time if you haven't come back here. Also, i was going to ask you.... I have another poem, written recently, and it refers to a poem i had read which i think was yours. As my brain has a problem with remembering could you confirm for me? = a son leaves a camera on a subway bench.....????? Was that one yours? I think it was, wasn't it? Thank you for stopping - happy holidays to you xxxlittleditty x nicky x

Lare on 01-01-2006
People of The Lie
Wow, little d...this reminds me of a situation where the only way to really love someone is to administer 'tough love'...in this case (forgive me if I'm wrong) tough love that has now, through no-one's fault, turned callous...I especially grabbed onto the line "Swan and Peacock both have eyes of stone"...I agree...this entire piece is powerful...very well written...

Lare


Author's Reply:
hello Lare -thank you for your interpretation -i am glad you got something from it - Swans and Peacocks
hold many meanings i think - good that you thought it powerful and well written - thanks for telling me - have to catch up with yours today! xxxlittleditty x

woodbine on 01-01-2006
People of The Lie
Dear Nicky,
This is without doubt an excellent describing a turning point in a relationship when power changes hands between two people and the mixed feelings of the narrator and you've got some good comments.
I find speaking only for myself that the second half is harder to follow than it needs to be. I am not saying that everything has to be spelled out, or that readers need to be nannied through a poem, but that on the level of who is doing what to whom, the most elegant solution is often the simpler one.

Best wishes, John XX
I'd like to see your poem when it's ready

Author's Reply:
Hello John - good advice, thanks. Here's a way to read it: Sins of Father, older brother and sister - different from your reading? may be - i will look at this one again in a while though -i think i want it to be clearer than it is as, on this, i am clearer than the poem! Thanks for coming back -will send that other poem -got distracted againagain xxxnicky x


poem about fish (posted on: 26-12-05)
~this is not the quote i want: "All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth comes only from the senses" Nietzche; there is another by him i think? I can't find it - about understanding the abstract, it being best to attach the senses to the the idea...please...does anyone know it????~ This poem is about that but fails i think because it doesn't make as much sense as it once did!!! Tried colours, shapes and poems within poems...oh well :o) A title and a nice cuppa tea would also be much appreciated xxx .


I do not see the world
through rose tinted spectacles
if the room is pink with warmth
it comes from an unidentified source
the air isof water
or else
I am suddenly a fish
not noticing the change
the sweet scent of flowers
enters through an open window
and as I do not believe
in anything except possibilities

may be you are here
and
fish dancing
in rose petalled senses
do not need to believe my eyes
they say understanding the abstract is best done this way
andso recommended

may alsosometimes need to believe in mine
you touch me













Archived comments for poem about fish
Sunken on 26-12-2005
poem about fish
I think 'A nice cuppa tea' would work fine as a title young Dittster. I may holiday in abstract this year, especially if it's as colourful as you paint it. Nice one Ms. Dits. It's one of those pieces you have to keep re-reading, unless that's me being slow. All the same, I like it more than the warmth of my bed on a freezing cold night. Thanks.

s
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k
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he can't help feeling that there's something m ssing.

Author's Reply:
Now i am very worried - first its baked beans and now this - more than the warmth of your bed on a freezing night? Thank you though. Abstract is best in spring time - hope to see you there Sunkster, hows that for a title? hmm...xxxdotty x


kenochi on 27-12-2005
poem about fish
I think you're thinking of 'the more abstract the truth you want to teach, the more you must seduce the senses to it.'

But I don't know if that's all that relevant to the poem?

Author's Reply:
That's the one - thanks! We were talking about teaching kids maths and i couldn't remember the bloomin quote! I am not sure exactly how this relates to the poem either....except that she really wasn't there....happy Christmas, hope it was fun xxxnx

Lare on 31-12-2005
poem about fish
Hi little d...I think this is cleaverly a perfect example of a demonstration of abstract. Sort of like connecting the dots. A good abstract piece must be read several times in order to complete "connecting the dots"...which is different for each individual reader. What I see in this is not quite going to be the same as what you see...or even intended. Which is why this is a very well written abstract piece. Simply put...it's all a matter of interpretation. You've done it.

As far as a title goes...how about...

"The Colour Of A Fish..."

(This is just MHO...which for the most part is purely dust in the wind)

Author's Reply:
Thank you Lare - thanks a lot for your comments - ok - i confess -i know exactly what i was trying to say when i wrote it, and then i re read it and felt that i had lost it somewhat (in more ways than one!) -now i figure it means what it meant to me again, more glad that you have had a go at 'connecting the dots' too and have left such an explanation - however, you may well see exactly what i do now and/or what i intended - you may - it's possible! 'The Colour of a Fish'/A Poem about Fish/Abstract in the Spring Time/Who dumped the f*****g fish all over the g*******d glistening floor?" oh... decisions decisions! Thanks Lare :o) xxxlittleditty x


The Golden Egg (posted on: 16-12-05)
edited (many edits -and many suggestions and i have enjoyed thinking about this one. Thanks everyone xxx)

At The Golden Egg, a cafe, where ugly folk eat all day breakfasts, we sip, smoke, read The Mirror, The Sun, take notes in reams. An old couple in bobble hats, crater moon expressions face their plates, each other, over his fried slice and beans. They slurp with all the time in the world. I think they must be cold, no jokes, nothing more to win. I think it's all over - until she chokes, dribbles on a bit of gristle and he wipes the egg yolk from her chin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At 'The Golden Egg', a cafe, where ugly folk eat all day breakfasts, tea, chips; we smoke, sit, read The Mirror, The Sun, take notes in reams. An old couple in bobble hats, vacant crater moon expressions face their plates, their last days, over his fried slice and beans. They slurp with all the time in the world. I think they must be cold, with nothing to say anymore, no jokes, nothing more to win. I think it's all over - until she chokes, dribbles on a bit of gristle and he wipes the egg yolk from her chin. And edit: Thanks Anthony The Golden Egg At The Golden Egg, a cafe, where ugly people eat all day breakfasts, we smoke, read The Mirror, The Sun, take notes in reams. An old couple in bobble hats, crater moon expressions face their plates, each other, over his fried slice and beans. They slurp with all the time in the world. I think they must be cold, no jokes, nothing more to win. I think it's all over - until she chokes, dribbles on a bit of gristle and he wipes the egg yolk from her chin. Golden Jubilee At The Golden Egg, a cafe, where ugly folk eat all day breakfasts, we smoke, sip tea, read The Sun The Mirror, take notes in reams. An old couple in bobble hats, crater moon expressions faced their plates, each other, over his fried slice and beans. They slurped with all the time in the world. I thought they must have been cold, no jokes, nothing more to win. I thought it was all over - until she choked, dribbled on a bit of gristle and he wiped the egg yolk from her chin.
Archived comments for The Golden Egg
bektron on 16-12-2005
The Golden Egg
I love this,luvverly vignette on the wonderful-ness (eek) of mundanity.
beks:^)

Author's Reply:
Fank you Miss! The man in the Golden Egg asks 'how yoooo wan them dun, darlink? Tender? or well done?' - Tender - yeah! xxxldx

AnthonyEvans on 16-12-2005
The Golden Egg
ï'll have mine sunny side down, please, littleditty.

like beks, i enoyed this vignette.

small things. 1. i'd like to see it in 3 stanzas (sorry), the second stanza starting with the old couple in their bobble hats, the third with them slurping. 2. i didn't like 'folk', would prefer 'people' (even if the intention is to show alienation). 3. i'd cut the 'tea' and 'chips,' i think 'all day breakfast' says it all (esp as that is indeed what they are indulging in). 4. i'd cut your 'sit' (i imagine you with mynci, don't know why). 5. i'd cut 'vacant' (as that is what moon craters are anyway). 6. i'd cut 'their last days' as that rather pre-empts your final stanza (ehm, in my version, sorry again).

as i say, small things, guaranteed no doubt to seriously f*ck with your poetical line and what-poetic-nots, in a poem bristling with gristle. yes, there is life in the old dogs yet.

best wishes, anthony.



Author's Reply:
Blimey! *NeeNawNeeNawNeeNaw* it's the A & E department 😀 SIX STITCHES! sIX :Oo *runs screaming from waiting room*:D





Right Doc: I am taking my prescription downstairs, where i will administer herbal ointments to the 3 stanzas (disguised not cleverly enough....I see, hmmm... *strokes beard*) and i will be back after infusions and a slow bake at 400 degrees below C level.







*perhaps prematurely lamenting loss of jokes, folk, yolk,chips,sit and other rhymes ....Ditty wanders offwards to bake Antony a 3 courser - aware only of the need for excellent presentation of such little portions, instead of the all on one plate English Fry up*





Now, go wash yer hands and sit nicely - dinner will be served shortly Sir Antz - Your poem, coming up!





Thanks for being the bestest critter - you know I like to think about the ingredients xxxdottyx



Hey Presto - nearly became four courses -but that is just toooo pretentious:



At ‘The Golden Egg‘, a cafe,

where ugly people eat all day breakfasts,

we smoke, read The Mirror,

The Sun, take notes in reams.



An old couple in bobble hats,

crater moon expressions

face their plates, each other

over his fried slice and beans.



They slurp with all the time in the world.

I think they must be cold,

no jokes, nothing more to win.

I think it's all over - until she chokes,

dribbles on a bit of gristle

and he wipes the egg yolk from her chin.



xxxld x

Corin on 16-12-2005
The Golden Egg
I thought this brilliantly constructed LD - you walk the reader so very carefully up to the last line that they have no idea what you are going tohit them with and then the punch is so very moving - very humane observation and piece of writing.

Thankyou for this

Warm Wishes

David

Author's Reply:
Hello David - Thank you for the thumbs up - i tried to pace it with the use of rhymes and a somewhat staccato London voice - i hoped for it to be an unexpected 'Ahh' at the end and I am so pleased you saw this and felt it worked. I am going to try a three stanza version, using Antony's suggestions and will post it after a fiddle and a tweak later tonight I hope -take a look if you like as I will try to keep the ideas in the original construction and don't know if I'll be able to!

Thanks again xxxlittleditty x

Lare on 17-12-2005
The Golden Egg
Hi LD...this goes right to the heart...I read your poem B E (Before Editing) and A E (After Editing)...the extra tweeking tightened this perfectly...I think this is now a most perfect read with a most warming, beautiful story. And yes...this did elicit an "Ahhhh" at the end...this was so very touching. Now this is writing. This is absolutely a 10. And thank you so much for your generosity in choosing me as a "hot author"...you have put my ego on the top side...

Just me, Lare

Author's Reply:
Hi Lare - You like the edit? Good - I am grateful to Antony of the A and E Department for his tips - and for yours, saying you think the tweaking worked - I'll stop tweaking now and see what i think tomorrow....Thank you, nicky x

Sunken on 17-12-2005
The Golden Egg
'Littleditty, Littleditty on the country road, got to keep on plodding onwards with the precious load' Come on Ditty, sing along -

'... been a long time Littleditty - thro the winters night - don't give up now Littleditty - Bethlehem's in sight - Ring out those bells tonight - Bethlehem, Bethlehem - Follow the star tonight - Bethlehem, Bethlehem...'

Ahhh, I feel better now. Have to say young Little of Ditty fame, this is a cracking piece of writing. I didn't notice if it was nibbed or not, but it deserves to be. Feel free to choose something from the argos catalog. Their Elizabeth Duke range of jewelry is second to none and the price is most definitely right. Sorry Ditty, I'm doing some product placing at the moment and I'm just hoping no one notices - especially that Andrea bird, or I could be right in the shit. I'm finding it hard to choose between either edit to be honest. Please don't make me choose. I'm not good at choosing. In the early days of video I bought a betamax machine and a Phillips lazer disc player - which one became the most popular? None of them! I should have purchased a VHS. Thankfully recordable dvd is now overtaking said VHS format and hopefully this will enable me to move on. Anyway, that's not important right now. Well done on a great piece Ditty. Most definitely a ten from the munky.

s
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he refuses to play hide and seek because no one ever bothers to look for him

Author's Reply:
Dear Sunken - first of all, have you bought your breast? They never seem to go out of fashion....Here's a song for you - it's a Thanksgiving one but we can adapt it i think? Ready for the world famous:"THE THANKSGIVING SONG" / Adam Sandler
Transcribed by Noah Rollins, or
noah@grove.ufl.edu

(sorry in advance - i dont understand what the brother has so much to talk about either:O)
Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
'Cause it's good
Love to east turkey
Like a good boy should
'Cause it's turkey to eat
So good

Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey
in my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can't be wrong
Turkey turkey doo and
Turkey turkeydap
I eat that turkey Then I take a nap

Thanksgiving is a special night
Jimmy Walker used to say Dynomite
That's right
Turkey with gravy and cranberry
Can't believe the Mets traded Darryl Strawberry
Turkey for you and
Turkey for me
Can't believe Tyson
Gave that girl V.D.

White meat, dark meat
You just can't lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster
I'll never take down
My Cheryl Tiegs poster
Wrap the turkey up
In aluminum foil
My brother like to masturbate
With baby oil
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr.
Only had one eye

Turkey for the girls and
Turkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pant
Are corduriys
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel
Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving

I really did try to find a more appropriate song - its not so easy you know - check out the Turkey options yourself - the one by the Damned was pretty cool though. Now - thank you for your generous 10 and the indecisiveness - love to Rudi the Hamster (is he going to power the christmas lights again this year? Bless) Happy hols sunken -and suggest rethink on the hide and seek thing as there were loads of ukaneers looking for you these past weeks... - glad you are back xxxlittleditty x

Ginger on 20-12-2005
The Golden Egg
Littleditty,
Your poem definitely has the Ahhhh factor. And I think the second AE works better, more fluid and readable, although it was good before as well!
So really, you have a win win situation. 🙂
Lisa

Author's Reply:
Hello Lisa - Thanks for telling me your thoughts on this one - i think the second one wins it, your vote is the decisive one- it's that Anthony Evans and his keen eye! Have a happy holiday time -Cheers! xxxlittleditty x

Slovitt on 21-12-2005
The Golden Egg
littleditty: I've read this several times and especially liked the connection you provide the reader at the end. I have been stumbled with the opening lines, however, on each reading, and so emboldened would offer the following possibility to your attention

At 'The Golden Egg'
cafe, where ugly folk
eat all day breakfasts, tea,
chips, we sit, smoke,
read The Mirror, The Sun,
take notes in reams.

I have removed a comma, a semi-colon, and an article, and perhaps it doesn't read so constricted now. Anyway, is 'crater moon' English, as 'moon crater' is what I have seen and would say? Finally, would an adverb for 'wipes' and an enjambment assist your very fine closing lines, perhaps

I think it's all over--until she chokes,
dribbles on a bit of gristle
and he carefully wipes the egg
yolk from her chin.

In any case, a very good poem, which delivers emotion. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hello Swep -i like your suggestions for the poem - thank you: I think you prefered the 3 verse edit? i thought i would try now to put it together again and see what it looks like:

At 'The Golden Egg'
cafe, where ugly folk
eat all day breakfasts, tea,
chips, we sit, smoke,
read The Mirror, The Sun,
take notes in reams.
An old couple in bobble hats,
crater moon expressions ('crater face', nasty adolescent expr., 'moon-face' = vacant/stupid.
face their plates, each other may/may not explain why it is this way, tried cratered moon)
over his fried slice and beans.
They slurp with all the time in the world.
I think they must be cold,
no jokes, nothing more to win.
I think it's all over - until she chokes,
dribbles on a bit of gristle
and he wipes the egg (no to 'carefully' for now -too 'telling' i think?)
yolk from her chin.





will look now and seperate it again too - thanks again xxxlittleditty x

blackdove on 21-12-2005
The Golden Egg
Hi littleditty,
I've just got round to this and find it very - what the word?
Human.
Clever, not for effect, but for its little slice of observed truth served with the full English...
Well written, with a the little extra help from a friend.
Yes, I like it a lot.
Jem x


Author's Reply:
(grrr Jem!, put it in the wrong box! Here's some, edit below on sub!! Ta x)
Thanks very much for the Human comment! I wanted the poem to be that and am glad that you told me. Still fiddling a little... do you think it needs 'each other'?, i will see now, adding the new ideas, and sticking it together again just to see what it looks like. A little help is good here on uka - i am glad for it, as people reading my writing is a relatively new thing for me. I am so glad that you like the poem xxxlittleditty x

littleditty on 22-12-2005
The Golden Egg
Thanks very much for the Human comment! I wanted the poem to be that and am glad that you told me. Still fiddling a little... do you think it needs 'each other'?, i will see now, adding the new ideas, and sticking it together again just to see what it looks like. A little help is good here on uka - i am glad for it, as people reading my writing is a relatively new thing for me. I am so glad that you like the poem xxxlittleditty x

At 'The Golden Egg'
cafe, where ugly folk
eat all day breakfasts, tea,
chips, we sit, smoke,
read The Mirror, The Sun,
take notes in reams.
An old couple in bobble hats,
crater moon expressions
face their plates,
over his fried slice and beans.
They slurp with all the time in the world.
I think they must be cold,
no jokes, nothing more to win.
I think it's all over - until she chokes,
dribbles on a bit of gristle
and he wipes the egg
yolk from her chin.




Author's Reply:

Slovitt on 22-12-2005
The Golden Egg
littleditty: I don't read other suggested versions (and most often not the comments), just the original, hoping to not be influenced and thus to give the most direct feedback. I only read your original. My response on the use of 'carefully' (as easily it could be gently, tenderly, etc.) is that it is suggested not as a 'telling' word but as a word to extend the moment, to elongate a second of tenderness. Anyway, I'm pleased to that you may find some of the suggestions to be of use. Swep

Author's Reply:
Hello Swep -i have been working on the poem. Here's the thing: The word is tenderness -that is the poem. I thought that 'carefully' or any word, told it instead of revealed it - but i know the line needed some work. The idea - Life is ugly except for tenderness - was where i started with this - the edits are coming along, all ideas have been so appreciated. Here is another one i was going to post here just now - and saw your comment. With this one, its been useful to get different imput and work on it a bit, try different things. Thanks again.

The Golden Jubilee

At The Golden Egg, a cafe,
where ugly folk eat all day breakfasts,
we smoke, read The Mirror,
The Sun, take notes in reams.

An old couple in bobble hats,
crater moon expressions
faced their plates, each other,
over his fried slice and beans.

They slurped with all the time in the world.
I thought they must have been cold,
no jokes, nothing more to win.
I thought it was all over - until she choked,
dribbled on a bit of gristle
and he wiped the egg yolk from her chin.




Slovitt on 22-12-2005
The Golden Egg/Golden Jubilee
littleditty: Final thoughts: I think the three stanza, longer-lined version of the above edit revises the life, the charm out of your poem. There is no longer the single, sustained sense of a developing moment. Beyond that, the first stanza has become too tidy, and I think toward the end you lose a lot when you go away from the immediacy of 'I think they must be cold', and on down 'I think it's all over--until she chokes,', when you go away from this heightened, interactive present to create the distance of the past tensed 'I thought they must have been cold', 'I thought it was all over'. Anyway, a lot of good things in this poem and 'The Golden Jubilee' as a title is in line with one touch too many for the canvas. Swep

Author's Reply:
Interesting what you say here -thanks for your thoughts and your time Swep -i appreciate it and i do listen. xxxlittleditty x


A Pink Triangle Poem (posted on: 25-11-05)
If the F word, or being called a derogatory, heterophobic name offends you, you might choose not to read further...

Fuck the 'Breeders' The Fucking Majority Making more minority. Fuck the majority Who so heroically say 'Yes, we now give you Some paper rights.' Riiiight.... Fuck You If you expect a 'Thank You'. Decades of pain Are not wiped from Our mind. It's 2005 And some will remain Too afraid to sign Another ledger of names. And fuck you again If you don't understand For the majority of ears Are not worth my time. So Enlightened, so P.C. And now without blame: 'After all,' you say 'they are humans too.'. How magnanimous, How typical, Fuck You.
Archived comments for A Pink Triangle Poem
Slovitt on 25-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
littleditty: A lot of controlled energy, and a statement effectively made. I did think your other posting was interesting
also. Swep

Author's Reply:
The other one i deleted is a good poem i think - this one stays because it suits my mood. Thanks for your comment xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 25-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

breeders huh? fucking majority huh? typical. indeed. you can't blame them really. that's how they grew up.
etc etc.
Kumu
xxxx

Author's Reply:
I like this Larkin poem Kumu-san - always have - nice to read again. My belief is: iF one forgives quickly,intellectually, perhaps repressing natural anger at wrongs, people get ill. So SHOUTING IS GOOD! sHOUTING AT THOSE, with power WHO WOULD PREFER ONE IS POLITE, DOFFS CAP AND BEGS FOR MoRE, -LIKE oLIVER tWIST -IS EVEN bETTER sometimes !!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :o)

Apolloneia on 25-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
We are a luckier intellectually speaking generation. Some things belong to the past. Majorities are minorities. We soon will become a minority too. But we know it. Very interesting poem. Sociological and I think you should choose Philosophy as genre.Cheers.Nicxxx.

Author's Reply:
Hello -you appeared again: i am not very good at this genre business - i knew they didn't have one for Angry - and i always just choose poetry as i think that covers it. I'll think about it! Thanks xxx

Apolloneia on 25-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
correction: *are making more minorities* :o0

Author's Reply:

mynci on 25-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
right on sister!!!!!! right fucking on! my sentiments exactly. Love it when you're angry.
Big love
Mynci

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pop - December the 5th, 2005 cometh - shall gay folk curstey, doff caps and say thanks very much for so kindly giving hoooman rights - partnership rights, rights to live together in the same country, rights to inheritance and the child they have brought up etc etc? Some of the majority expect this 'thank you' from all minorities - and this attitude + the flippant way those who have never experienced discrimination sometimes behave makes me wanna PUKE!!!! Angry - you like? I'm angry likable when i'm mouthing off -when it all goes quiet it is suggested, by those who know, that one runs for the fookin hills - xxxscarylittleditty xxx loves you too x

Kat on 25-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
How could I resist the promise of an 'f' word, littleditty! I get your anger and where you're coming from with this, very much - I just have to put it in the cocktail cabinet.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Dearest Kat of the F word - you are very kind - twas a quick rant and a rave - and i wanted to put it here. Thank you, as always, for reading and being one of those who get me. Appreciated, much and very xxxlittleditty x

bektron on 25-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
Hello Mrs Scary breeder here! 😀 little-angry-ditty gets her claws out 😮 and that turtle was such a gentle soul...
Myself I have a very small brain and am only ever impressed by the use of the word fuck in a poem, in fact I have a point scoring system with c[edit]t and t[edit]t being top of my list- both surpassed only by the use of the word twunt which combines the two rather wonderfully- anyway I think this is a rather neat way of making your point- which makes me think of another line from a song (see I told you) 'if you don't say it's wrong, then that says it's right'- words to live by.
*rambles on a bit/ leaves*
beks:^)

Author's Reply:
Update: The Turtle is on hols in Bristol, doing Turtle things: flower arranging, *spitting*, knitting and cooking seafood bakes for friend, blissfully unaware of Dotty and her PMS. Ditty's PMs have been driving her crazy - with a missing alter ego - it simply all became too much for Dotty who has started writing post feminist propaganda and was last seen distributing leaflets entitled 'MEN AND THEIR LAST ERECTIONS', a keen interest in architecture now becoming an obsession since attending a lecture by Doctor Ima Twunt ( who spoke so eloquently about the typical developments in the 50's - arguing that such developments are perhaps universal.) Ditty is at a bit of a loss and has asked Ceditt and Teditt to come round and play - hoping they will combine rather wonderfully and form a radical band named the Fallopian Tubes - but meanwhile the Turtle, hearing about this by placing an ear to a conch has taken control of littleditty's account at uka and will answer all comments etc until things have calmed down a bit.

Dear Beks - Thanks from the bottom of a Turtlini's heart for commenting on this rude outburst - *spits in a friendly fashion*, ready for a twirl in the shoutbox? xxx

kenochi on 25-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
i'm not going to crit the writing, because you're a more accomplished poet than me. But honestly, I'm struggling with the sentiment. An advancement is made for gay civil rights, yet you still manage to be angry about it. Presumably you would have also been angry had the bill been rejected? I'm not sure, either, who exactly, your anger is directed towards. Who exactly are these people who expect gratitude? Do they really exist?
i think that sometimes those who perceive themselves to be oppressed, grow to almost enjoy the position, as it forms an essential part of their identity and self image. When some of that oppression is removed, it leads to a kind of anomie - an 'i've been angry for so long, i can't stop now' kind of thing.
But then again, I'm one of them, not us, so maybe that's what you'd expect me to say.


Author's Reply:
Dear Kenochi - this is a very interesting comment and i am on dial up and would like to have more time to reply to you right now - so quickly - of course i am not angry that a bill has been passed -of course i am angry that this bill has come so late - so/too late for many. Also -we must remember, this is not a global bill by any stretch of the imagination. You know people whose lives are very difficult because of this situation and of course many gay people will 'marry' to ease these difficulties and gain important rights. -i am not angry about this. I am angry when i hear the kind of things that are mentioned in the poem - and a lot worse and i think the poem expresses an anger(a frustration, an outburst) at those who have not been the subject of discrimination, their inability sometimes to fully appreciate the ramifications of what it is to be discriminated against. There are other things that you have said that i want to come back to tomorrow -i must log off now as somebody wants to sleep - so more tomorrow ok? Thanks for your thoughts - i am itchin to say more damn it -but must go NOW NOW NOW -I'll be back to consider your provocative thoughts more -as per usual you are always a great person to talk about most things with -this aint over yet Mr - lots of love xxxlittleditty x (Oi: wrote a poem about liberation and disorientation, anger and being freed and walking back into cages...and I've a story or two for you, then we can talk more about this i reckon :o) x

Rosco on 26-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
They have legalized gay marriage here in Ontario and it is possible to adopt. I don't know if that's true in England, probably not. Studies are being published on the violence against women internationally. It varies according to socio-economic bracket, culture etc, but the patterns are disturbing. It's hard to get past this to the even more intransigent area of gay rights and abortion. There's nothing like death to change ideas. That doesn't help us. Whatever induces self hatred is a terrible and unfortunate thing for those who are forced to live with it. I'm glad to see you being forthright on this site. I hope you get to see the film, Capote. He never wavered and man, did he write well.

Author's Reply:
Hi Rosco - Thanks for adding your thoughts and comments. That is what this provocative sub is for. Emotional outburst with a warning attatched. The voice in this speed poem is heterophobic - but it doesn't want to take away anyone's rights. Thanks for dropping by and i will try to see the film...hope you are very well, sir xxxlittleditty x

Jolen on 26-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
I am not offended in the least by the word fuck, but I have to agree with the sentiment of this, it's bullshit that it has taken this long to do what I feel is right, and not enough of that, even. imo. I think it's much like the way it is here, with other minorities, they (the lawmakers) feel like they are being all pc, for allowing basic freedom to other humans. I have and still find that horribly presumptious and morally sickening as a human. I don't care who you screw as long as it's another adult and consentual.....Our sexuality does not define us, it is a small part of us, like having dark hair, or enjoying a certain type of food, or whatever, it is only one tiny part of us, as humans. imo. My friend said it beautifully one day, he said "I am not a gay man, I am a man that happens to be gay"... I thought that was succinct and consise.

Blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Hi Jolen. Thanks so much for adding your comments to a little rant&rave - that is what this speed write is for - a discussion, i want to think about these things. I appreciate that you left food for thought for us all here - Cheers 😀 xxxlittleditty x

Jen_Christabel on 26-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
You tell 'em!
Powerful and well-written.
Jen :o)

Author's Reply:
hello Jen - Thank you for your kind words. An emotional outburst is provocative as one either empathises or not with the sentiment and the need to express it. i am glad that you could relate to the ideas and the frustration in this voice. Cheers xxxlittleditty x

ClareHill on 27-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
I kind of applaud the sentiment, but not the writing, I'm afraid. Just a couple of nitpicks detracted from the piece: The use of capital letters at the beginning of every line isn't very pleasing to the eye, and interrupts the flow of what you are trying to say. There is an extra full stop after "they are human too."
I'm not sure that saying "fuck you" to every heterosexual is any more valid than heterosexuals saying "fuck you" to all the homosexuals.

Author's Reply:
Hello ClareHill - Thanks for your comments - I will look at the capital letters and the extra full stop. It is an expression of anger - saying fuck you. No - not more or less valid except perhaps when one examines the sentiments - the ones which you kind of appalud - the reasons why a voice may be saying such a thing. The voice says fuck you - an outburst with a heterophobic admission above - it doesn't take away anyone's rights. It provokes thought and discussion and reaction though - and i am happy that you responded. Thank you xxxlittleditty x

Abel on 30-11-2005
A Pink Triangle Poem
Powerful and to the point. Very well done, LD.

Best,

Ward

Author's Reply:
A 10????? How extravagant - how lovely 🙂 Thank you Ward, for popping in and leaving your comment - i appreciate it - Ta very much 😀 xxxlittleditty x


Woods and Trees (posted on: 21-11-05)
*

Looking at a painted roof tile we could speak about paths, gnarled branches, disfigured fingers, the beckoning of nails, leaves and breezes. Instead, you say I like to linger on the microcosm, my 'myopic utopia', and you - - you like to stick pins in bubbles and watch the soap sting my bifocals. In this age of self examination you demand I look up - only when I'm unable to. If I don't see the wood for the trees at least I know you do.
Archived comments for Woods and Trees
chrissy on 21-11-2005
Woods and Trees
This is lovely. An exceptional read.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
Chrissy -Thank you -it is supposed to be lovely and was written for the few good people who get me -and poke me in the ribs and make me see - thank you for your kind comment -i'm glad you liked it xxxlittleditty

Abel on 21-11-2005
Woods and Trees
Beautifully written, LD...a testament to phosophy and friendship.

Well done,
Ward

Author's Reply:
Thank you Ward - that's a great comment for this one - Cheers :O) xxxlittleditty x

Abel on 21-11-2005
Woods and Trees
I meant philosophy...ooops.

Ward

Author's Reply:
oops -thank you for the 10 - i may have to reassess my phosophy on this rating business as sometimes certain 10s make me smile some 🙂 Ta very much x

shackleton on 21-11-2005
Woods and Trees
Hi LD. Enjoyed your poem. The older I get, my vision of utopia gets more myopic - perhaps its because I'm getting more myopic in a physical sense. Good poetry!

Author's Reply:
Hello shackleton- thank you - happy you enjoyed it -it was written for friends who help me see the wider picture - glad you liked this one and stopped to tell me xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 21-11-2005
Woods and Trees
Hello again Nicky. Fine poem of substance, an honest heartfelt write.
xxxapolloneiaxx

Author's Reply:
Hello Apolloneia - long time no see - fine poetry is more your department - this is a littleditty saying thank you :O) x

Kat on 21-11-2005
Woods and Trees
Hi littleditty

A beautiful read and from the comments, I see it's written for the special folks in our lives...where would we be without them, eh?

Lovely stuff.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Yeah -that's it Kat - we'd be alone i guess - seems like a wonderful idea sometimes! Nah -we need folk who help us see...thanks for the thumbs up on this one - i think it is a good littlethankyoupoem xxxlittleditty x


Navajo (posted on: 18-11-05)
1992 rewriting

Steady Horse, you rock and plough Through a garden already cut to size! You shine - and a shadow rider Rides the parallel lines without you. Now stand; a rock, and gaze At all the joy and pain. Easy Horse, you snort and pace, As the colours drain from your face Forlorn and lost in a storm, you neigh. In a garden already young and old Be bold in paradox: a rocking horse Goes far and stays still on this red road, Running like blood, the poles stake a heart, So stay; and rest from this race; and neigh. Sometimes a Unicorn in the garden, white, Shining, riding parallel lines in a circle, Every strand of light ablaze, neighs: Navajo.
Archived comments for Navajo
Apolloneia on 18-11-2005
Navajo
Beautiful!

Author's Reply:
gLAD YOU LIKE IT - xxx:o) XXXX

Kat on 18-11-2005
Navajo
What gorgeous writing, littleditty - a wonderful tribute poem with many original lines and thoughts, I thought!

Loved those last 3 lines in particular - 'riding parallel lines in a circle,' - this 'circle' of yours going against the rules is a very effective motif!

Kat :o)



Author's Reply:
Thanks - i was worried about the voice -don't like telling and tried for it to not be pushy -but... Glad you liked the images - yes -these circles and straight lines of mine...ho hum - i may try to banish them from at least the next one! Hope you are well Kat xxxlittleditty x

BaBy_PoeT on 21-11-2005
Navajo
nice one Ms lil G
i could just about imagine it. well done
hope to see you soon again lolz.
take care
xXx- B-P - xXx

Author's Reply:
Hi there - glad you could imagine it - it's an old poem written for a friend - maybe see you at poetry club one time? I'll ask...Thanks for commenting Bigger BP ;o) nice to see you looking so well. See you soon, I hope xxxlilMsG x


Whiskey in Athens (posted on: 11-11-05)
- a speed poem -

We came from the stars and ruined your art while you chiseled pretty girls and named them aphrodites. Our laser beams sliced away at their rocky breasts while you sculpted young gods; with precision we extracted volumetric scrotum sacs and buried them in the earth. We are here among you and earth's history logged gives the impression of all is well; we are here among you fictionalising, claiming it was all your art.
Archived comments for Whiskey in Athens
Apolloneia on 13-11-2005
Whiskey in Athens
That's a strange, strong, original poem, based on a couple of things we said, and on poetic sensibilities or unsensibilities *can you at least let me write the bloody comment alone without any brilliant ideas of your own??? I was able to add nice comments in the past without your help young Turtle! >8( ARREST THIS TURTLE!*

KUMU-SAN

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting, we should have included the papaya - it works, it really works - *Through the bars of the cage, Turtle spits Guava seeds at The Moon* xxxlittleditty x:o)

flossieBee on 13-11-2005
Whiskey in Athens
I'm intrigued by the ideas in this poem, particularly 'laser beams slicing at rocky breasts..'

xxxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ms Bee - it's a strange one - i like it ;o) xxxnx

eddiesolo on 16-11-2005
Whiskey in Athens
Hi LD,

I had to read this a couple of times as it is a strange one, but I liked it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Drunken speed poem by a couple of birds i know - so it is not just my fault....i am shameless and sub - i will be having a little clear out soon and edit and delete some....glad you read it - i like it too! xxxnx

Abel on 17-11-2005
Whiskey in Athens
Fascinating piece...thoroughly enjoyed. Mysterious images that kept my attention. Well done LD.

Ward

Author's Reply:
It was a joint effort - or lack of....we were a bit drunk...listening to this cool C;D ....Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for telling me xxxlittleditty x

Abel on 17-11-2005
Whiskey in Athens
Wish I'd been there 🙂
Best,

Ward

Author's Reply:
as i said, you were! xnicky x

Apolloneia on 10-01-2006
Whiskey in Athens
There more I read this poem the more I like it. When I remember our discussion, I get seriously satirical. Oh dear. What have we done??? *I don't think we should tell more about our discussion right? * By the way, we weren't sure who came from the stars FIRST and that makes it even more interesting. We probably should write more. :O)

Author's Reply:
Ok - I'll bring the Whisky xxx


Skimming Stones/Just Calculations (edited) (posted on: 24-10-05)
~99 words, 3 edits. Thanks for ideas xxxlittleditty x

Perhaps I fell in love with you by the sea when we skimmed flat stones, saw rocks vaulting implausible distances over water. There is no magic in it, apparently. Just calculations. When you asked me to count and note down how many times each stone bounced, I thought we would perhaps do some maths. You spoke: "Those digits that you wrote? It's my phone number...goodbye!" I was always good at catching and throwing, just not so good at being caught or thrown; so it is later, perhaps much later when I wonder if you wonder if I phoned... edit Perhaps he fell in love with her by the sea when they skimmed flat stones, saw rocks vaulting implausible distances over water. There is no magic in it, apparently. Just calculations. When she asked him to count and note down how many times each stone bounced, he thought they would perhaps do some math. She spoke: "Those digits that you wrote? It's my phone number...goodbye!" He was always good at catching and throwing, just not so good at being caught or thrown; so it was later, perhaps much later how he wonders if she wonders if he phoned... edit Just Calculations Perhaps I fell in love with you by the sea when we skimmed flat stones, saw rocks vaulting implausible distances over water. You asked me to count and note down how many times each stone bounced and I thought we would perhaps do some maths. You spoke: "Those digits that you wrote? It's my phone number...goodbye!" I was always good at catching and throwing, just not so good at being caught or thrown; It would be later, perhaps much later when I wonder if you wonder if I phoned... etc
Archived comments for Skimming Stones/Just Calculations (edited)
Flash on 24-10-2005
Skimming Stones
Hey LD, like both of these very much.

In fact my pal wrote a poem in a similar vein, with the same title and is again in fact one of my favs by her.

Check it out matey.

http://www.abctales.com/node/544113

Good work by the way, i like this stuff lots

xxx
Flashypants

Author's Reply:
ooww -something to go and see? Great! and i can edit this reply =it all got more interesting and i haven't finished my first cup of coffee. I have edited this until dizzy -was not that impressed actually - so how nice to wake up to a 'nice one matey' this is a surprize -:o) Need to read this again too -there are versions and versions -i posted the leaner ones -just a mo - going to see poem by your pal - will be back...

i liked it -Thanks flashypants - :O) xxxlittleditty x

Slovitt on 24-10-2005
Skimming Stones
littleditty: Yes, as Alan says there is a another such poem in the world, though you've left your original imprint on this one. To the piece: I much prefer the second poem with its 'he' and 'she' which assigns genders and roles. Perhaps 'record' instead of 'note down'. In the next-to-last line is 'how' the word you want or is that a typo? A good poem. Swep

Author's Reply:
Thanks Swep - probably third person works better although - i like the end of the first better - but - it is the 'how' the wondering was done that i am interested in here. There are versions which are more syncopated -it bounced - now i'm not sure and happy to get some feedback on these. Thanks for yours xxxlittleditty x

CalvinHobbes on 24-10-2005
Skimming Stones
Hobbes: I see your narrative is sufficiently feminine. There is no androgynous soul obstruction in this. But then those ellipses and exclamation may not be good.

Calvin: IMO this works well in both the POVs. I liked that connotation "do some math"...a very good poem.

Calvin and his sarcastic tiger (Hobbes)
PS
Calvin: Ignore hobbes' comments

Author's Reply:
Sorry Calvin - Hobbes has a certain way about the tiger - i like the comment, particularly interested in the word 'obstruction' and shall use a 😕 and a couple of: !!

Calvin - i worry - but liked your positive comments and glad you thought it worked - thanks xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 24-10-2005
Skimming Stones
Something weird happened with my comment.
I will try again:

I would focus on your first draft, here are my ideas Nicky and may send more later.

Perhaps I fell in love with you by the sea
when we skimmed flat stones,
saw rocks vaulting implausible distances
over water.
When you asked me to count and note down
how many times each stone bounced,
I thought we would perhaps do some math.
There was no magic in it, apparently.
Just calculations.
You spoke: "Those digits that you wrote,
is my phone number... Bye."
I was good at catching and throwing,
not so good at being caught or thrown;
It would be later, perhaps much later
when I wonder if you wondered if I phoned...

I liked the story in this poem dear Miss Turtle.
Kumu-san
xxx>8)xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Kumu - i like it - it's the best 'all in one' one yet - i will look at the other all together ones - i like the switch - you are cool - xxxlittleditty x *spits*

loving the edit button: you gave yourself a nine? ;D

freya on 24-10-2005
Skimming Stones
Thoughtful, layered and excellent. More later(dammit, all these promises, promises I keep making!). But on to the urgent matters which plague our poet: technically, esthetically both versions work really well, though the first allows us, the tacky voyeurs, to 'wonder if' the one who didn't phone(maybe) is male or female? And the one who did the skipping? Hmmm...yes. Like the ambiguity of that. Like the way the narrator knows both genders are capable of doing this stuff, each to the other, at different times in different circumstances, and even one gender capable of doing it to another of the same gender. That's the universal beauty of this version: no politics, no religion, no stereotypical roles.

Does that convoluted remark make you wonder? See? My stones skip all over the place and bounce back, like boomerangs. :O)

Yet I did stumble here, myself:

so it was later, perhaps much later when (so it is later?)
I wonder if you wonder if I phoned... (maybe omit perhaps?)

or alternately, here:

so it was later, perhaps much later how (how, not when?)
he wonders if she wonders if he phoned... (he wondered)

A question of tenses (and an odd word or two, imo). You could go either way. Or not. But I much like, littledittyperson. :O) Shelagh xx

Author's Reply:
hello Shelagh - yes - it was 'is' -for a long time it was, what happened? how? i don't know -thank goodness you have marked it down here so i notice these things when i come back. I can't even look now -may be after some dinner. I am really happy that you liked this one -your 'convoluted remark' was for wondering? *strokes beard* - well, wondering about the poem, it was the 'tacky voyeurs' i was thinking about (gosh - how rude when i say that -how not when you did) i like the first person narrative for your reasons too -i want the reader to wonder all sorts of if - this seems to work best as i/you, whereas i feel that 3rd is somehow more dramatic. Oh decisions decisions. The 'perhaps'? - may be it should go -i had a little idea to put 'perhaps perhaps perhaps' three times - the Monroe version of the song makes me smile -and, if this is at all autobiographical -then it is about decisions/actions/faith and doubt/logic and ones emotions...fate and destiny and my i don't know included too. The dinner bell has tinkled -a holler from downstairs -so -thank you for your visit here and i am glad you liked the poem xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 25-10-2005
Skimming Stones
Are you myself? ARREST THIS TURTLE! >8(

You know there are three perhaps in this poem, and I was thinking of a new title following our conversation:

" In perhaps with "

I know it's probably too experimental and so on. You are just a Turtle that spits in the cutest way no other Turtle would spit and perhaps my androgynous Kumu - intellectual ejac will create problems that will eventually lead to a dynamic Identity crisis for you Miss Femininity. Anyway, at least I can watch the frisky shapes of my linguistic erm be absorbed by the unwritten whiteness of another unlucky child.
Now don't tempt me to rate myself. Okay? You deserve those four and a half stars, you don't want any unpleasant surprises. ~8)

Author's Reply:
Good morning. Have you noticed that there are also three 'When' too? - No. - 'In perhaps with' - it has a certain ring to it, i like it. Stars? I couldn't see any, head down to spit - but now i am dizzy with statistical vibes and co incidentals - anyway -please send my regards to Miss Femininity -lucky her - a dynamic ID crisis is so invigorating. Meanwhile, back in the lab, Evil Doctor Shirly worked on a subliminal formula that would have catatonic implications for the world as we don't know it. I want to write again - it has been a while. I am writing this reply and i have no idea what the poem says - may be i should read it - and the comments - it's all about the poetry after all. I'm tired - i feel a 100 years approaching and will wait to be woken with a rum flavoured mango kiss in a land that has winter in name only. I'm not well - so this comment isn't cute at all - you gave me a 9? I give me two 8's as i have temporarily lost both of them, and minus 16 for this ridiculous ramble, just so the fool comes out even - at least he thinks so. We are all asleep by now -the formula worked - dream on sister, there is no sense in it otherwise - meantime, you know this reply is nonsense (i should be writing poems now instead) and not to worry about me as i have decided - things happen when decisions are made, whether the numbers add up or not, whether we act or whether we are passive. Sorry about this reply - i should put it in the comments box so that when i wake up i can't mess with it - editable replies? That is just not cricket. (english exp.- decent - fair play - honourable - gentlemanly) agreed - spontaneity rocks - however at the spell checker's anonymous society meetings they say -embrace the delete function - embrace the inner edit - and advocate the singing of songs about it too. So, as usual, we will see what happens. Slater Pop - i will now press the button, fully aware that this is all nonsense and i can delete it. Off to a meeting xxxnx

(You know there were also three 'good' s too? You cut one in your edit.:o)

Sunken on 25-10-2005
Skimming Stones
'...and I can dance with honey, if you think it's funny, does ya mother know that you're out...' Sorry young Little of Ditty fame... I'll pop back when Abba have stopped playing with my mind... very good poem tho '...take a chance on me... oh oh, we can go dancing, we can go walkin, so long as we're together - listen to some music, maybe just talk yeahhh - get to know ya better - let me here ya now - my love is strong enough, to last when things are rough - its maaaagic....' Ahhh - it's gonna be a long day.

s
u
n
k
e
n

just ignore him - he's a shit

Author's Reply:
Hello Sunken - of course this is the right place and time for such an Abba comment - you are so cool - even if i did notice a recent comment of yours : 'he doesn't think much of turtles' - that's fair enough of course, if not a little judgmental, then that's your prerogative - to not think of them much. However - that's not important right now - it is going to be a long day -fortunately i have had some food -so have stopped hallucinating and am less able to hear the magic - of course your speaking in tongues has helped enormously - but if you hear Fernando or see a Super Trouper (a big spotlight), i recommend you close your eyes and let Rudy the hamster of fame, sign all autographs - lovin me loving you -ahhhhh haaaa haaaaaa xxxlittledotty x

karenuk on 25-10-2005
Skimming Stones
I think the first one works better than the second. I love the last line especially, but 'math' spelt that way always annoys me, LOL!
Karen xx

Author's Reply:
Hello Karen - i think you are right - i think i should listen to you - your subs are excellent and you win the prize for the much awaited 'math' comment. It was maths - it was - i wanted it to be, but then the 's' sound annoyed me and the American at the spell checkers anonymous meeting kept underlining the necessity to change, move with the times -accept cultural domination as pointless to fight against. I tried to explain - it is math -and it is said with a lisp (lithp) - but who is going to fall for that one? Anyway -thanks for commenting - i'm glad the last line got you thinking - Cheers xxxlittleditty x

karenuk on 25-10-2005
Skimming Stones
Thanks 🙂

Yes, those American spellcheckers do me 'ead in!! BOO to math, YAY to Maths - well, the word, hate the subject!!

Karen xx

Author's Reply:
Karen - i am going now to add that 's' - Yes - YAY to us and YahBOOsucKs to the Grandchildren. All in a single letter and a comment from a compatriot and i feel a sense of identity creeping up on me. People get 50 - 200 bucks an hour for what you just did - bless you!

jay12 on 25-10-2005
Skimming Stones
I prefer the first but like what you have tried here with the 2 versions.

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jay - another vote for the first - ta xxxlittleditty x

AnthonyEvans on 26-10-2005
Skimming Stones
i like this ditz,

i prefer the first version.

this is quite a bitter-sweet story.

but i feel that you overburden your story by putting too much plot up front. you should allow that lyrical opening to stand on its own. so, i'd cut the lines:

There is no magic in it, apparently.
Just calculations.

antz





Author's Reply:
Hi Anthony -Yes -i get ya! did you notice that Nicoletta moved those lines down a bit -i see i could snip them out completely -good idea and a good comment for me to think about for the next poem -thank you Antz - xxxlittleditty x

Griffonner on 26-10-2005
Skimming Stones/Just Calculations (edited)
I prefered your first, and original, version. I love the allegory that can be attributed to the skimming stones in the story - which is told with such adeptness in only three stanza.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Griffonner for your vote on the first one - there are other versions -longer, more syncapated voice - great to get feedback on these -Cheers xxxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 28-10-2005
Skimming Stones/Just Calculations (edited)
I must go with what others have said and I do prefer the first version.

It is a wonderful write and I enjoyed reading it very much.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
thanks Si 🙂 ...as good as a 10 ? glad you liked it - that's good news for the first one - Cheers Si, thanks for telling me xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 03-11-2005
Skimming Stones/Just Calculations (edited)
Just Calculations is a good title miss Turtle and I think your 3rd draft is excellent.
Kumu-Hula-Nic: calculator of product codes
xxxx

Author's Reply:
Oh pants - got it wrong. Wrote a freakin' comment instead of a reply and now this is an explanation more than a reply -it's all gone wrong - and it is all probably to do with a shortage of coffee in bristol - i must buy the cute phone charger man a coffee for his trouble. And pack all bags away safely. i dreamt about the cat and a couple of shopping bags last night 😮 - a nightmare! xxxxx

littleditty on 03-11-2005
Skimming Stones/Just Calculations (edited)
Thank you Kumu--Hula--Nic *swish* - a vote for number three? great *spits* - off to the shops xxxTurtletta x

Author's Reply:


It was for you to leave me (posted on: 03-10-05)
1993 (edit may 2007, thanks)

On the platform, I said, "I will never leave you." You stopped in your tracks, not to look back but to freeze the world. All our years flashed through the tannoy in that silent way we spoke and it may have been hours before the world returned. Sliding doors had just opened, and you slipped through the slow-mo to catch your train on time while I, watching you go, naturally missed mine. It was meant. The first time we met, I was on the boat rowing towards your one lost oar. You, a smiling wounded bird, waiting on a light-flecked lake, your right wing bobbing just out of reach. Our boat glided to meet yours, we met eyes...and I, passing you your wing, climbed in. We set oars and rowed back to shore, two strangers, kids in a pedalo, comparing bare feet: your bad "sandal tan", then you laughed at my extra-long toe. It was for you to leave me, and for me to await your return at the station with flowers or at home... It was for me to have loved you this way, to have been left this way, as it was for you - to not look back, and to slowly walk away.
Archived comments for It was for you to leave me
karenuk on 2005-10-03 11:59:31
Re: It was for you to leave me
I like the description, especially the little details like the sandal tan & toe. It has a wistful feel to it, sad tone, which works well.
Karen x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-03 12:21:47
Re: It was for you to leave me
Thanks for your comments Karen - i was interested in the tone of this one - Cheers xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Slovitt on 2005-10-03 13:31:01
Re: It was for you to leave me
littleditty: This is pretty good, and your differentiation of the two at the end is clear, and emphatic. The line with 'light flecked perfectly shaped lake' stumbles my ear, despite the internal cracked rhyme of 'flecked/fect', and perhaps '...luminous, perfectly shaped lake'; or not. I started to say, and I guess I am now saying, your poem prints about above the comment box as prose, and it reads comfortably, and richly as such.
Of course one prose-poem in an ouevre is out of place, but there is a smoothness in that form. A good piece. Swep

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-03 13:45:31
Re: It was for you to leave me
Hello Swep - glad you pointed out the 'differentiation of the two at the end is clear, and emphatic' - that's the poem - and i was after a smooth narrative style, prose poem again. Now -i like that word 'flecked' as it is a bird word too- but i'll read it again later to see if that cracked rhyme phrase is too clunky on the ear. Thanks for your ideas - this was/is tricky to edit! xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Slovitt on 2005-10-03 20:29:36
Re: It was for you to leave me
littleditty: Yours is a particularly meaty offering this Monday, and as it's tricky/difficult to edit, or whatever you said, perhaps you won't mind the following. I do think that it reads determinedly prosaic. And there's some extra meat on the bone of some of the lines. Finally, I think you can help the reader realize the musicality of your piece with a comma here and there. So,

On the platform, I said, 'I will never leave you.'
You stopped in your tracks, not to look back
but to freeze the world. All our years flashed
through the tannoy in that silent way we spoke,
and it may have been hours before the world returned.
Sliding doors had just opened, and you slipped
through the slo-mo, catching your train on time,
while I, watching you, naturally missed mine.

It was meant.

The first time we met, I was rowing in a boat
toward your one lost oar.You, a smiling, wounded
bird, waiting on a light-flecked lake,
your right wing bobbing just out of reach.
My boat glided to yours; we locked eyes...and I,
passing you your wing, climbed in. Oars set,
we rowed back to shore, strangers,kids in a pedalo,
comparing bare feet: your bad 'sandal tan,'
then you laughed at my extra long toe.

It was

for you to leave me, and for me to await yourreturn
at the station with flowers, or at home...

It was

for me to have loved you this way, to have beenleft
this way, as it was for you--to not look back,
and to slowly walk away.

Some liberties here, littleditty, but perhaps you'll agree that 'perfectly shaped', 'too far', and 'on the footrest', among other deletions, are phrases that didn't add anything to your poem. And the tense change in the last two lines does give your ending an immediacy, though the original is effective enough as it is. Again, as on my first reading, this is good work. Swep

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-03 21:19:09
Re: It was for you to leave me
Thanks for your effort Swep - i can't see mine here now so i'll just say this looks leaner - i like light-flecked lake and the ending looks like a good idea for a tricky business. i'll need print to compare them when i have another go with this one. Thank you xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

AnthonyEvans on 2005-10-03 21:58:32
Re: It was for you to leave me
good solid stuff, littleditty.

the only thing that jarred on me was 'kids in a pedalo,' partly because i don't know what a pedalo is and partly because i guessed maybe it was one of those peddle boats and that confused my image of the rowing (which is very, very nice).

best wishes, anthony.

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-03 22:05:09
Re: It was for you to leave me
Hi Antony - yeah i thought that on a read through -thanks for telling me you did too -i wanted pedals and footrest - feet and walking along movement as well but something got cut, it got lost as an idea and i agree it may jar especially if you didn't know what a pedalopeddle boat is. I'll think on it -glad you liked it -thank you xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Slovitt on 2005-10-03 22:45:43
Re: It was for you to leave me
littleditty: If the only thing you can use is 'light flecked lake' then my time was well spent. I understand when you say 'I can't see mine here now', though as an outside party I see clearly that the poem in your version, or something of mine, is clearly your own. The treatment I gave your poem is the same that I've received, and exchanged, with a friend of mine for twenty-five years. He would mark up my manuscripts, and I his, and we'd each take about 10% of the suggestions, or none at all, or even rarely buy in wholesale to the other's remarks. I think that a suggestion about a line, or a passage doesn't have to provide the solution to the poet being reviewed, but mainly point out an area that is either a problem, or could be stronger. The great thing about poetry is that there is no commercial demand for it, and we all have all the time in the world to get it right. Swep

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-03 22:51:34
Re: It was for you to leave me
agreed. i appreciate your time and your suggestions - i will be reviewing all the last 6 months writing soon - thanks swep.

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2005-10-04 20:00:23
Re: It was for you to leave me
I felt this was good, but personal.

For a poem to be more widely accepted, I think it needs to connect 'personal' with 'universal' - widening the experience so many readers can relate to it... Imo, this is too 'personal' to be 'universal'

Author's Reply:

Slovitt on 2005-10-04 21:27:00
Re: It was for you to leave me
John: What can be more 'universal' than something that is 'personal'. This is a strong piece of writing, and as for wide acceptance, well that can never be a motivating criteria. Littleditty connects with me in this poem, in a personal, and universal way. Swep

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-04 21:40:24
Re: It was for you to leave me
Hello e-griff - i will have a good think about what you felt - that it was personal, personal with a 'but'.
I agree with you -'I think (a poem) needs to connect 'personal' with 'universal''- for wider appeal and i am wondering how/why you felt it does not do that some? I thought that being left and doing the leaving - and acceptance - was something we could all connect with... I will have a good think about this - if you have any suggestions or further comments -i'm wondering now:O) ? Thanks for that! xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-05 07:15:43
Re: It was for you to leave me
I was really moved and touched by this poem, ld - it certainly worked for me - lovely, luvverly work.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-05 15:31:52
Re: It was for you to leave me
Well Kat -i'm glad it worked for you. Thank you for telling me - please tell me also when my scribbles don't, and why you thought so - will ya? Thank you Kat-san xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

shackleton on 2005-10-05 21:01:54
Re: It was for you to leave me
Smashing, LD. I love poems that capture a magical slice of life. Really enjoyed this.

I just wondered about that toe. Was it an 'extra' long toe or an'extra-long' toe. My daft mind.

Great poem!

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-05 21:49:40
Re: It was for you to leave me
hEeHeeEEeeEEE - not telling!

Thanks for commenting shackleton - i'm glad you enjoyed (and i will check the toe thing *giggles foolishly*:) xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Flash on 09-10-2005
It was for you to leave me
*Blubs*

That poem didnae effect me at tae,cos i'm a big hard scotsman...see? And i've got cold right?

*sobs*

You can write things that are personal surely? Everybody can empathise and admire the skill of this piece.

I thought it was eggsellent anyway, and i was touched by it.

xxx
Flashy

Author's Reply:
Awww *passes flash big soft hanky* - glad you liked it - it's not supposed to be too sad - are you hormonal? It's the moon Mr Pants - NOW -PULL YERSELF TOGETHER MAN - and thank you for kind words Sir FlashintouchWithHisFeminineSide xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 10-10-2005
It was for you to leave me
I think that you have written a wonderful piece here.

I enjoyed reading it.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
hello Si:-0 - Thanks for reading -glad you enjoyed it -it was edited for that -so that it would be a gentle, enjoyable read - it needs another edit at some point, but for now i am happy that you liked. I wonder about this style and how it is received - so appreciate your comments very much xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 15-10-2005
It was for you to leave me
You have some of the mental body language of a novelist. I have a feeling you are going in that direction. Or are you going to suffer to the utmost reaches of your senses in the search for truth in the lyrical line? I told you you wouldn't like my abstruse comments. I left you some info about Karen Connelly on the other poem. I suspect there are women like that in Britain now the Age is dawning. So many of blackguards switch to prose once they get that first book of poetry out. If you have a significant story in you I think it is the sensible thing to do. Let's shut this guy up.

Author's Reply:
I do? I think I will need to work on my attention span - i have some ideas; poems are so cool - they are done for now - next! for someone accused of never finishing anything, this is good - a novel?...if you ever tell me what you think of the draft then i will be amazed - a whole novel? how do people do such things? I'll try. Thank you rosco for visiting, poetic prose it is - i will keep practicing the ditties - now off to read your lyrics because i don't mind your abstruse comments at all :O) xxxlittleditty x

Apolloneia on 15-10-2005
It was for you to leave me
I agree with our friend Rosco: Nicky you have the mental body language of a novelist. I am almost sure you are going in that direction, or that you will be going sooner or later. One of your best poems this one, now ask Mynci to translate this: είναι μία κατάθεση ψυχής κι αυτό το κάνουν μόνο οι αληθινοί άνθρωποι.
Kumu-san
xxx>8)xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Kumu-san *spits* xxxnx:o) x


In Aura (posted on: 03-10-05)
88

Evening coloured beautiful every ugly mark inked by fairy light, each leaf alive, rustling with red brick; sunset indigo pinks luminous geraniums, epic clouds screen operatic scenario, each scene in effervescent refraction; in aura's verse, day and night's moment in brief, techno colour-fancies, nudging golden auburn, blacke curls glowing into the old age of the night; and for these moments, and many moments, I weigh it all; and it is easy.
Archived comments for In Aura
Kat on 2005-10-03 17:27:28
Re: In Aura
Hi ld

I love your beautiful use of language (the sounds) and your word play and the ending is gorgeous.

? is that a wee typo, and should be 'black curls' or perhaps it's archaic or techno, says she desperately. ;o)

I really enjoyed this.

In aura.

Kat x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-03 19:18:04
Re: In Aura
Hello Kat - thanks for telling me you liked the sounds........i think i thought i wanted a more feminine 'black' or something, really glad you enjoyed it xxxlittleditty x:o)

Author's Reply:

red-dragon on 2005-10-04 18:12:33
Re: In Aura
I, too, like your use of colours - not sure about speaking with red brick, though.
How about 'raven curls' -are they more feminine? This doesn't detract from the overall quality of your lovely poem. Ann

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-04 19:01:07
Re: In Aura
Hello Ann -i thought the same about the red brick when i read it again yesterday - it is the red brick and leaves on my balcony - thanks for pointing that out to me -i may change it! I like raven curls - but not ravens! May i pop raven curls into another poem? Thanks for commenting and adding suggestions -that's great, cheers:O) xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-10-04 20:58:44
Re: In Aura
Evening

and all


inked by fairy light.


For these

moments,

and many

moments


in Aura,


I weigh it all:

And it is easy.



you asked me to post this here, as I told you I cut many lines, but I don't think you must cut anything etc, it was just an experiment similar to the one I did when I cut many lines from my poem The Rewards to make it a 50word prose. I liked the result.

Kumu-san
xxx>8)xxx

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-04 21:19:33
Re: In Aura
I like it. As it is, a powerful little poem. Thanks Kumu-san xxxnx

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2005-10-06 07:51:31
Re: In Aura
This is a big piece for such a littleditty. Well done young lady. Too many sweet lines to just highlight one (by 'sweet' I don't mean all sugary and stuff, I mean great - but that word gets so over-used, especially by munkys) Great stuff. Dooaaaa.

s
u
n
k
e
n

he sleeps on tin foil

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-06 14:26:56
Re: In Aura
Hello Sunken, so? You liked this one then? Yeah -me too:) Glad you did young man - and that you left such a sweet message. (don't understand 'Doooaaaa' - have you taken up meditation?)

shiney side up
xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 08-10-2005
In Aura
Beautiful language and the images evoke a tremendous range of feelings as well. One question, shouldn't it be 'black curls'?

A lovely and moving piece.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jolen -the blacke curls seem to annoy - i'm thinking about it - glad you found this lovely and moving -its from a lovely moving moment on my balcony at sunset - they're good aren't they, those moments? Cheers Jolen xxxlittleditty x

eddiesolo on 10-10-2005
In Aura
Hi LD,

I love this...totally love this.

It makes feel safe and warm, will add to faves to read and read and read.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:
Si - Thank You! It is written to move like that feeling arriving...if you know what i mean? 'Safe and warm' - when at ease and peace with it all - Ahhh, those moments :o) xxxlittleditty x

Rosco on 15-10-2005
In Aura


Author's Reply:
Ahhhh yes! -the sound of silence...they say this comes just after breathing out/just before breathing in....'the still point'.

Rosco on 15-10-2005
In Aura
That last comment I just made was the better one. Yes, the blue planet. What it contains. You're a kind of feminine Gerard Manley Hopkins here. A much lighter touch than he had but some of the same inscaping occasionally appears. Do you paint? I want to tell you something else. Karen Connelly is a 30-something writer in Canada who has done books set in exotic locales. Her first work was a poetic prose description of Thailand. She has recently published a novel set in Burma. This feminine Anglo exoticism seems to have a market. She's batting for the other team. I just thought you might be intrigued:http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/default.asp?Lang=en&Section=books&Ntt=karen+connelly
She's quite a good poet too. Although I think you are just as good. She teaches writing by correspondence at a college here.

Author's Reply:
...is she single? tut, me, and cheeky grin, to significant other - i don't paint - well, haven't for ages and just try in words - but i reckon 'Sometimes,only paint will do...' - i just quoted myself - perhaps this is fine - because i don't understand that poem i wrote and should have painted it instead. I'll send you, in 6 months, a draft - set in Brasil - and a photo of all that art i hope to be doing - the colours in Brasil are amazing - the future is bright :o) thank you for often sending me off to discover something..off now to see Karen and read some subs - Cheers rosco xxxlittleditty x


Father - What's the point? (posted on: 30-09-05)
xxx



The infinitesimal point needs no dimension
and embraces all. I'll tell you
right here and now
there is a light at the end of the tunnel:
Our essence is omnipresent, infinitely divisible
and we are here to recognise
the oneness that we share.
At the intersection of two circles
or of spheres whose centres exactly touch,
there is a place and time to see eye to eye
as equal individuals -
Vesica Piscis maps a renaissance
in the architecture of soul.

Archived comments for Father - What's the point?
Apolloneia on 2005-09-30 08:47:29
Re: Father - What's the point?
x Loved this one! Nicoletta x

Author's Reply:

BaBy_PoeT on 2005-09-30 13:46:54
Re: Father - What's the point?
nice 1 LD thought this was pretty interesting.
keep on writing
take care
xXx...:::...BaBy PoeT...:::...xXx

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-30 13:58:21
Re: Father - What's the point?
Thanks BP - glad you found it interesting -it is about some things that i'm thinking about now, and the kind of thing i write to mark the thinking - rather than one that just comes from the mind more naturally - I'm trying to keep writing, are you? Got any good tales from Work ex? Bet you have! xxx:O) thanks for your support xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-30 14:07:14
Re: Father - What's the point?
Good! (stubby is not very sharp - but makes a point to thank you for nailing the lines in place) xxnx:O)

Author's Reply:

Kipper on 2005-09-30 21:58:00
Re: Father - What's the point?
Hi Littleditty
Thoughts about what you are thinking - bit too deep for me I'm afraid. I read it quite a few times (didn't everyone?) and in the end I felt this. I wish I had enjoyed that kind of oneness with 'my' father. Am I being too simplistic?
Good use of linguistic imagery though.
Michael

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-30 22:31:51
Re: Father - What's the point?
Hello Kipper -thank you for your comment -there is thought around that idea for sure - i wanted that relationship to come across, at least as a wise and reassuring voice to answer/discuss 'those' questions - Of course there is my father in the poem - the mathematician - and i am taking a peek at ideas of geometry and soul - looking at architecture and separateness/oneness of a self alone and in relationship, (*screeching to a halt with this ramble right now!*) Thank you for telling me that you felt this. I appreciate your comment very much - it is interesting for me xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Kat on 2005-10-02 14:41:38
Re: Father - What's the point?
Hi ld

I think this is so well-written and your use of metaphor is really appealing - great stuff.

Kat 🙂

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-10-02 16:48:07
Re: Father - What's the point?
hey Kat of the 'f' word -well - the title of this has one of mine for consideration this weekend. Thanks for your comment and for cheering me up enough to go and read your positive Ditty again - the one about the T-shirt, newsy letter and the giggle etc - xxxlittleditty x:O)

Author's Reply:

Rosco on 15-10-2005
Father - What
I like your relationship to geometry. I have a brother who did a Phd in sacred geometry related to cathedrals. I've seen you use Celtic imagery before. Nicoletta alerted me to your work with Circles and Straight Lines. This is another wonderful meditation set as a kind of puzzle. Sadly, most scientists can't write this well. Let poets write about science and math in a new way, at least the science of the soul. The use of circles here is something to read and reread like a three dimensional diagram of light. I'm going to make a point of reading more of your poetry as I see you have three pages here and I like your work as well as anyone. You're also moving past the emotional to something deeper which is really what I want to hear. I'm not really interested in the human bicycle pump, the concave/convex nature of the heart, or the vicissitudes of the midnight hour. You may be sorry you let me in, but I want to travel with you through spacetime to look at something I can't see the bottom of. The Visigoth has arrived.

Author's Reply:
Hello rosco - thank you. I'm short sighted and numbers and shapes can make me dizzy - i sometimes take a peak though. that lump of a pump of tissue - poor thing, works hard, steady, reliable - gets a raw deal i think - like a wife to these ideas of poets - you have reminded me to eat more fruit and salades - there is an idea - that thought could equally be located in the stomach, such is the chemical messaging between brain and guts - i was speaking to my sister yogi about this a while back - she would stress looking after the pump more - more pit stops. Ok -I'll get my 'L' plates - virtigo is a bummer - but i'll do my best to ignore it -Thanks for seeing this poem - Cheers xxxlittleditty x


The Laughing Jackass (posted on: 16-09-05)
3 HAiku (Kukidoos) - linked - so a Renga renga roses....lol

Kookaburra Kingfisher Dives for silver fish Flecked bright by coloured feathers Aboriginal footsteps A laughing cry Pierces the flesh of the pond The Laughing Jackass chuckles Oiling the canvass Strokes glaze primary colours. (The Laughing Jackass n.= Kookaburra - Austailian King fisher, Aboriginal word)
Archived comments for The Laughing Jackass
Apolloneia on 2005-09-16 13:33:14
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Okay, I have your permission to puke.
*pukes for being thick today*
*pukes for probably seeing something in this that should make people puke*
*pukes for sex and their last erections*
*pukes for all the shitty things happening everywhere and especially on the Internet*
*pukes for probably being a silver fish and for probably having a big jackass laughing right now*

Thanks for all the puking!
and one more for the road
*double pukes*

NPukes.xxx


Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-16 13:51:06
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Charming, i'm sure *calls health and safety inspector to check on the littlefish* - but a greatfully received display of reactionary puking - for which i am glad - you have done well to search for inner meaning and have come up with quite a lot -spectacularly in fact - bless you -crowned king PUKER for now * where's the foookin health and safety Jackass - probably off painting quality control signs again - call the management* xxxxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-09-16 19:21:57
Re: The Laughing Jackass
ARREST THIS TURTLE!
>8
-xxxx--- x

Author's Reply:

Rosco on 2005-09-16 20:00:22
Re: The Laughing Jackass
I'm not quite sure whether it's background knowledge or not, but there's quite a sense of a dry landscape being secretly evoked within which this is happening with all its tactile liquid details and sunny bearing. Maybe the kingfisher as a symbol of rejuvenation got into my head from Eliot and I can't get it out. Thanks for the hazel-coloured scene on the other side of the world. How come there aren't any Aussies here or are there? How come you're not in Brazil or are you? Nothing's for sure anymore.

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-09-16 20:14:15
Re: The Laughing Jackass
I am sure there is background knowledge with a powerful subliminal message. I don't know what am I going to do with this Turtle. Last time we arrested her and interrogated her she kept talking about A List of hers.
Regarding the Aussies, here? on UKA? of course there are Aussies. Nothing is for sure anymore indeed.

Kumu Hula Nic
Lady Mayor of the most profitable town of the most unprofitable island in the world.

Author's Reply:

Jolen on 2005-09-17 14:21:25
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Hi LD,
When I saw the title I thought this was about my ex, but I see it's not. lol

I liked it anyway. lol

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-17 15:32:51
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Hi Jolen! - The Laughing Jackass was definitely also an artist for a while there - an artist who chuckles and tries and probably fails, to capture natures fleeting moments on the page - for others to see exactly something too? This was a thoughtful one which stopped where it stopped, and was more about the process than the finished product -Thanks Jolen for your visits to these ditties of mine xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-17 15:55:10
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Goodday Sport - i have been austrailian all week - i think it is because i have been watching the odd soap opera - Home and Away, Neighbours and my favourite -Muriels Wedding' was on telly! Thank you Rosco, for leaving your ideas here in a fashion which needs no detergent - i was worried that perhaps there was a bug going around - so i hope you are still well - you have pointed out a sunny aspect which i had not noticed for at least a long time pondering this little ditty. Thanks mate -fancy a cool tinny by the BBQ while we all sing outback songs? xxxsillyditty x

Author's Reply:
Kukookidoo

gudday from downunder


littleditty on 2005-09-17 19:56:04
Re: The Laughing Jackass
UPDATE: - Arrest that Turtle!
i am sorry to report that the turtle, being fully dressed already, dressed quickly and is still
making a slow escape towards the ocean. I've just been in touch with Hulketta who took so long squeezing into her green spandex body suit
that she allowed this to happen. She feels peeky and ashamed, and has headed for the hills.

However - Clint advises we all: STEP AWAY FROM THE SILVER FISHES. Roger xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-09-17 20:12:20
Re: The Laughing Jackass
EVEN SILVER FLASH FISHES?

anyway. I thought that the Laughing Jackasses are the enemies of silver fishes?? hmm. how strange, how odd, and how peculiar!

zzzzznz

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-17 20:37:03
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Yes - especially flashylittlesilver ones of course. The Kingfisher is after the fishes, The Jackass is or isn't depending on whether laughing or crying -You see -the Kookabuura has a laughing cry, so does The Jackass - The Jackass, if an artist, should WATCH IT - I RECKON - The kookabuura can do what it damn well pleases - i think xxxJackinthebox x

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-09-17 20:38:58
Re: The Laughing Jackass
*Arrives with mop and comments ready, looks at work and other comments, realises he's out of his depth...decides to quietly mop floor messy with all the fruit LiddleDiddy brought over from her 'list,' poem for what appears to have been an afternoon high jinx high tea party.*

Erm...Kookaburra a well known firm that make very good cricket bats dear...er...yes very nice again.

*Realise's that's a really crap comment and decides to continue moping hoping no one noticed his comment. Notices empty bowls with remnants of strawberries and fresh cream, mutters expletive, and so bitter and angry continues moping the floor*


xxx
NotFlashjustsomeonewholookedverysimilartohimok?

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-17 20:53:12
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Flash -thank you so much for the mopping -i hope it cheered you up and that you just left the puke where it is - wise decision. Now -i was just now trying to get excited about winning the Ashes -really - i was - except i saw the trophy on the telly and it was just a small egg cup thingy -is this right? Did those nice men ion white play all that time for a whittled egg cup? Please explain if you can, Flash - cos many simply don't understand it, Over

Roger
Wicket
Whitticaditty x

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-09-17 20:55:43
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Any Laughing or Crying Jackass of the "it could be this or not" better stay away from Silver Flashes from now on and indeed Kookabuuras can do what it damn well pleases them regarding silver fishes. You see, I was only diving to find my bike. Found it and now I'm on my way to the beach again. This time I am not leaving my bike alone at any playground. Too many crocodiles around these places it seems- and as always.

*sings: the hills are alive with the sound of music....*

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-17 21:01:05
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Good for you - if you see a cute turtle on the way down to the ocean -please don't say a word -she is an escapee - also quietly trying to recite 'The Owls Soliloquy' and keeps getting sand in her mouth. :O)) xxxnx

Author's Reply:

Flash on 2005-09-17 21:27:24
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Yes

Everytime Engeeeeeeeeeerland play the Aussies at cricket, they are playing for the ashes of one of the bails, that were used in the very first cricket match between the two countries. The bails are the little things that sit a top the stumps(wickets), two bails per set of stumps. This happens every two years, and the venue alternates between both countries.

The actual ashes mind, never leave their home at the MCC...Marleybone cricket club? if the Aussies win they i think get a replica of the ickle trophy.

All of the above could be complete bollox, Froggy might be able to give you more informed information.

xxx
FlashyBenaud

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-17 21:34:14
Re: The Laughing Jackass
Yes -thank you Flashywhittica - i thought it was a bat that they had sanded down -so i was suprized how it all fitted in the egg cup -thank you for clearing this up -although now i wonder why it was that bail, on that day, and what was wrong with the other bail? Oh well - need to go home now to avoid the stalker and the various drug and turf wars - so ToodlePip Ol'bean xxxldx

Author's Reply:

Lare on 24-11-2005
The Laughing Jackass
Wow, littleditty...you conjure up some powerful imagery here...from now on I think I best be keeping a closer eye on this here kookaburra...

Lare

Author's Reply:


PRESENT simple/perfect - FUTURE simple/passive (posted on: 16-09-05)
classroom dialogue - Tokyo 1993 - the weekend that most left town.

(The eldest man speaks first) We live on a fault line. Every seventy year,s, The table shake,s, The earth skin tear,s And house of cards FLutter and dive into pile,S. Some fly into THE grave. Some stay. Every seventy years? (She says, Doing a rough calculation.) One is due. That is now! You, We, are waiting for it! What will you, We, do after it has been? We are waiting for it. We are not waiting for it. It will come. It will be seen. We will build again, better. We will grow again, better. It will be done. You have been studying, Kansawa-san. We have been studying, Nicky-san.
Archived comments for PRESENT simple/perfect - FUTURE simple/passive
dogfrog on 2005-09-16 09:43:45
Re: PRESENT Simple/Perfect - FUTURE Simple/Passive
Most amusing littlenickysan. I can find no fault.

df

Author's Reply:

littleditty on 2005-09-16 13:16:24
Re: PRESENT Simple/Perfect - FUTURE Simple/Passive
Glad you liked - it is almost word for word - he was a wise old man. Tokyo 1923 -massive earthquake flattened Tokyo - on the weekend of this conversation various prophets had predicted another - he wondered why i hadn't left town with the others - i hadn't heard about the every 70 years thing although the prophecy for the end of Tokyo on that particular weekend had not phased me at all as i was expecting the end of the world anyway ! and it didn'y really matter where i was - f