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valdohren's (valdohren on UKA) UKArchive
232 Archived submissions found.
Title
Letting Go ..... (posted on: 27-11-15)    
Speaks for iself ....

It's okay love, you can go now, but set the door ajar as you leave – just enough for the light of your memory to shine through. We've gone a long way, you and I, on this journey, but I am tired now, in need of rest – so I will stay here and say goodbye. Yes, it's okay love, you can go now, be where you ought to be – I'll still dream of you …

Archived comments for Letting Go .....
Mikeverdi on 27-11-2015
Letting Go .....
Ah Val, it says it all.
Mike
XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.
Val xxx

Texasgreg on 27-11-2015
Letting Go .....
Aye Val,
Letting go is something we must get used to. Sometimes for our benefit, sometimes for that of another. It's when fate intervenes and necessitates that it seems most difficult. memories are a godsend and curse, both...

Best,

Greg πŸ™‚

 photo Gunspincowboy.gif

Author's Reply:
Thank you for looking in and commenting Greg, much appreciated.
Val x

sweetwater on 27-11-2015
Letting Go .....
Such a loving poem, sensitively written. Sue xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue.
Val xx

franciman on 27-11-2015
Letting Go .....
Love captured entire in 10 short lines, Val
There's no more to say.
Jim x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for looking in and commenting Jim. Much appreciated.
Val x

ValDohren on 27-11-2015
Letting Go .....
Thank you for the nib and nom, delighted of course.
Val x

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 28-11-2015
Letting Go .....
Well done on the nib and nomination, they are are well deserved Val. Whoever did the selections know a good thing when they see it.
Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi, you are very kind.
Val x

Bozzz on 28-11-2015
Letting Go .....
You will never walk alone? A truly loving parting. If only divorce was as easy and brief as this great poem suggests it might be! Well done Val.....David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David. Not sure that divorce would carry the same sentiments though!
Val xx

pommer on 28-11-2015
Letting Go .....
Well composed Valerie.So much said in so few lines on such a sad subject.Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Peter.
Val xxx


Untitled (posted on: 09-11-15)
>>>>>>>>>

His name rests tender on my lips through all the long dark hours – fond memories of stolen love my aching heart devours. I feel his breath upon my face, his trace upon my breast – sweet whispers drift across the room where once we soft caressed. Then as he gently slips into the depths where love is born, within a different time and space the fabric's meetly torn. And moving slowly deep within, bestowing ecstasy – I close my eyes upon the void to feel he's part of me. But reaching out to keep his touch, to grasp it while I may, It's in the reaching out that touch evaporates away. (His misty image fills my mind, a passing recollection dancing on the edge of time – a shimmering reflection).
Archived comments for Untitled
pommer on 09-11-2015
Untitled
Wonderfully expressed Valerie."Sweet whispers drift across the room"what a beautiful line.It brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you for sharing.Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments Peter.
Val xxx

sweetwater on 12-11-2015
Untitled
This is beautifully movingly ,so softly sorrowful I feel I should read it in whispers even in my head. Your pain comes through with every word.
Sue xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue, your comments are always so lovely, and always welcome and appreciated.
Thank you also for adding this to your favs, am delighted. Writing does not come easily to me these days,
and I struggle for new topics, hence my inactivity on the site - need some new inspiration.
My best wishes to you, and keep on writing your beautiful nature poems.
Val xx

Mikeverdi on 12-11-2015
Untitled
Stunning, I love this Val. Thanks for posting. 😊
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and I wish I could post more often, but am finding writing difficult these days. Hope you are keeping as well as is possible for you.
Best wishes.
Val xx


Falling Into Darkness (posted on: 27-07-15)
......... )

Falling into darkness, Come the fading light - Moving with the shadows, Drifting through the night. ~~~ All the world is silent, Deep within, entwined - Memories like phantoms, Float inside my mind. ~~~ Love that once was cherished, Lost in time and space – Falling into darkness, To this empty place. ~~~

Archived comments for Falling Into Darkness
Mikeverdi on 28-07-2015
Falling Into Darkness
That's about as heart felt as it gets Val.
Mike
XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks for looking in Mike.
Val xxx

deadpoet on 28-07-2015
Falling Into Darkness
A sort of elegy. I thought this would be good put into music Val-

Pia xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pia.
Val xx

pommer on 28-07-2015
Falling Into Darkness
As beautiful as ever Val,agree with Pia, it could be set into music. Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Peter - any musicians out there ?
Val xxx

amman on 29-07-2015
Falling Into Darkness
Quite a punchy rhythm to this, Val, and eloquently laid out. Enjoyed.
Tony.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tony, pleased you liked.
Val

Bozzz on 29-07-2015
Falling Into Darkness
All memories that we have slowly evaporate into thin air but like sound, never completely disappear. Laws of physics! But you put it much better Val.....XXX David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David - no, 'matter can neither be created nor destroyed' and presumably that holds true for the vibrations emanating out of sound etc.
Val xxx

sweetwater on 29-07-2015
Falling Into Darkness
So, so lovely Val, such haunting beauty. The last two lines of the last verse really hit home. Sue xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue - guess we all feel this way at times.
Thank you also for putting it in your favs, chuffed.
Val xxx


Can't Believe (posted on: 20-07-15)
Been in storage for a time now, time to let it go .............. πŸ™

I can't believe that you are gone For you are all around You're here in everything I see In every passing sound It cannot be that you, no more, Could ever speak or sing Your words will always nourish me To soothe and comfort bring . And as you kiss my eager lips With breath as sweet as rain Your hand takes mine, and then I deem I'll feel it there again Still living yet within this room Still sitting in your chair You're watching every move I make Yes, you are everywhere And as I lay upon my bed All through the silent hours I feel that you are with me still - Your soul cast in the flowers You'll always be within my world And here within my space As death shall not divide, my love, Nor steal away your face For in my mind your presence dwells Forever in my heart You walk beside me every day For we shall never part I won't believe that you are gone I'll never let you go You'll always be right here with me Or I would miss you so
Archived comments for Can't Believe
Mikeverdi on 20-07-2015
Cant Believe
You say it all, in your own beautiful style Val. I can add nothing but my thanks, for sharing this.
Mike
XxX

Author's Reply:
Thank you Miike. Wrote it ages ago and decided to post it due to lack of anything else !
Best.Val xxx

pommer on 20-07-2015
Cant Believe
What a wonderful reflection of a lifelong love.Brought tears to my eyes Val, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Peter. Sorry about the tears !
Best wishes.
Val xxx

deadpoet on 20-07-2015
Cant Believe
It is very beautiful Val-

Pia

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pia. Much appreciated.
Val x

ValDohren on 21-07-2015
Cant Believe
Many thanks to whoever for the nib.
Val

Author's Reply:

sweetwater on 21-07-2015
Cant Believe
Oh Val, there is nothing I can say apart from how loving, how beautiful this is. A true lover's tribute to one so precious. Sue xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Sue for your lovely comment. Much appreciated as always.
Val xx

Bozzz on 22-07-2015
Cant Believe
Your lovely nibworthy poem touches me deeply with both sorrow for your loss, but also I cannot avoid thankfulness that Meg is still alive and how lucky I am for that. There are always two sides to the coin and my hope is that you will find at least companionship of a kind sort at home to help you - perhaps better than that...XXX David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David for your kind words. I hope you and Meg will enjoy many more happy years together.
As for me, I have but one wish, but none of us know what the future may hold.
The poem was written quite some time ago, but the feelings remain the same.
Best wishes.
Val xxx




Where Flowers Grow (posted on: 17-07-15)
When will they ever learn .....

They fight in fields where flowers grow of yellow, red and blue - spattering blood on virgin soil and blooms of fragile hue. They fight beside the babbling brook, along the wooded ways, in meadows draped with misty veils, on lands where cattle graze. And so with faces masked in green pulled from earth's treasured trees, they scramble through the undergrowth, scorned by a whispering breeze. Then fire their missiles through the air, and cleave the ocean's still, scattering shoals of shimm'ring life - their mission set to kill. They fight in fields where flowers grow of yellow, blue and red - beneath the soft unblemished sky, they fight 'til all lay dead, lay dead ….. They fight 'til all lay dead !

Archived comments for Where Flowers Grow
Bozzz on 17-07-2015
Where Flowers Grow
Dear Val, good to see you again. You have written a classic rhyming piece here - but what else should we expect, for then you have always been good at that. The contrast in mixing pastoral scenes with death is so hard hitting. Well done. David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David. I hope you are keeping well.
Best wishes.
Val xxx

sweetwater on 17-07-2015
Where Flowers Grow
This beautiful pastoral scene shows the shocking truth , that even in the most tranquil beauty horror and death can be hiding and waiting to strike. I guess it is the same with our own lives, they drift tranquilly day to day then suddenly out of the blue fear or terror strike and knock you to the ground...It's a very sobering thought. A perfectly crafted work as always. Sue x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue. Appreciate your insightful comments.
Best wishes.
Val xx

gwirionedd on 18-07-2015
Where Flowers Grow
This is a very well-written poem, I like the flowing metre and rhymes. What was particularly interesting for me was the coda, which reminded me of Edward Lear's "Owl and the Pussycat".

It's interesting how the structure changes at the end and adopts this repeated, singalong quality, which is quite at odds with the seriousness of the subject matter. It makes a good contrast.




Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kind comments gwirionedd, very much appreciated. The repetition at the end is to emphasise the point being made. Pleased you liked.
Best wishes.
Val

MrMarmite on 19-07-2015
Where Flowers Grow
Hi Val. Back on form with this excellent poem and good to see you back writing again.Hope you send in more !All the best. Kevin.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Kevin, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val x


Eclipse (posted on: 20-03-15)
A slightly modified re-post - topical for today. NOT WITHOUT FILTER GLASSES OF COURSE !!

As heavenward I raised my eyes I saw an awesome sight For in the wondrous world above The day turned into night The moon was dancing with the sun Fixed in a long embrace - A lovely courtship had begun Up there in silent space Suspended high in dark display As one, entwined in love Against the black and sombre sky Their backdrop set above They kissed so long and tenderly Wrapped in a sweet romance - Before my eyes they ballet'd in A graceful cosmic dance The darkened void then set a scene A truly splendid thing As from their heav'nly union shone A shimm'ring diamond ring The daylight then returned in full As slow they moved apart Their marriage thus surrendered to Reveal the sun's bright heart
Archived comments for Eclipse
pommer on 20-03-2015
Eclipse
hat a wonderful description of a natural event turned into a romantic tale. I really loved this one Val.It is a great poem. Peter xxx.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Peter, much appreciated.
Val xxx

sweetwater on 21-03-2015
Eclipse
Lovely write, I don't care about all the scientific explanations, it is still a magical thing to see. Sue xx

Author's Reply:
It certainly is a magical event, although there was too much cloud cover for me to see it live.
Some great images on the TV though. Thanks for commenting Sue.
Val xxx

e-griff on 21-03-2015
Eclipse
Sweet, topical and well expressed.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks e-griff.
Val

ValDohren on 21-03-2015
Eclipse
Thank you for the nib - delighted !


Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 22-03-2015
Eclipse
Good to see you writing on here again Val,congratulations on the nib πŸ™‚
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike. Not doing any writing of late, its an old post which I re-posted because it was so topical.
Best wishes.
Val xxx


Fractured Earth (posted on: 19-01-15)
Another one on ecology .....

A bleak wind blows, and all in sorrow dwell, the fractured earth sings out her requiem – upon her form, unquenched, a raging hell, around her head, a fading diadem. ''Defiled and ravaged by your greed'' she cries, all bruised and battered as a child abused – her woodlands raped beneath the dark'ning skies, and plundered are her riches, then misused. The wings that fly above her head so fair, the hills and valleys spread across her land – all such are wrecked and ravaged without care, his number traced upon the golden sand. A bleak wind blows across her countenance, within its wake a decimated world – a land spurned not by fortune nor by chance, this wretched place, where man's contempt is hurled.

Archived comments for Fractured Earth
red-dragon on 19-01-2015
Fractured Earth
I really enjoyed this - and it got even better with subsequent rereads,

Author's Reply:
Thank you rd, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 19-01-2015
Fractured Earth
Strong writing Val, well written and well said. Congrats on the well deserved Nib. πŸ™‚
Mike
XxX

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Mike.
Val πŸ™‚

sweetwater on 19-01-2015
Fractured Earth
Wonderful Val, every word true and heartfelt. This planet is literally ALL we have, there is not another supplier. Sue xx.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue, and there is indeed no other supplier. Thank you also for selecting me as a hot author, and also for including this in your favs - absolutely delighted !
Val xx

PS: Forgot to thank you for the rating Sue - they are rarely given these days, so I am doubly grateful, and humbled. Thank you, thank you, thank you !!!

pommer on 19-01-2015
Fractured Earth
What a wonderful composed poem Val,and so very true.We have another meeting about a back garden development tomorrow.A bit more of nature might be destroyed.A very lovely read and a well deserved nib. Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you too Peter, so pleased you liked - 'they paved Paradise and put up a parking lot' !!!
Val πŸ™‚ xxx

ValDohren on 19-01-2015
Fractured Earth
Many thanks to whoever for the nib - chuffed !!!
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 19-01-2015
Fractured Earth
Excellent technically, rhyme and rhythm, and not a word wasted in the message. Good one!

Author's Reply:
Thank you e-griff.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 20-01-2015
Fractured Earth
Just absolutely brilliant Val. True diesel stuff - compression-ignition. A view from space much needed in poetry.
Bravo good friend...David
Went to Nominate but told it had been so already - yet the Nominate button was still showing as not yet activated. Will tell Andrea.

Author's Reply:
Thank you David. So pleased this one seems to have gone down so well.
Much appreciate the nom, whoever made it, and for your intention also.
Val xx

Ionicus on 21-01-2015
Fractured Earth
Excellent exposΓ© of man's disregard for our enviroment,Val.
A message so eloquent and passionate that it doesn't fail to stir one's emotions. Deliverd with your usual verve.
Luigi xx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Luigi, much appreciated as always.
Val xx

Nemo on 22-01-2015
Fractured Earth
A well-penned but depressing picture of what lies in wait for our descendants. The outrageous thing is that we know what to do to stop things getting worse but we seem powerless to do anything.
Regards, Gerald.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Gerald, much appreciated.
Val

Ant on 04-07-2015
Fractured Earth
Very well written Val. Here in Scarborough the North Yorkshire Moors are about to be destroyed so that Sirius minerals can build a massive potash mine and make a few landowners even richer. It's a sick world and it's getting even sicker.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Ant. Yes, it is indeed a sad world, and one is left to wonder just how much damage the earth can take before it falls apart.
Best wishes.
Val x


Here, In This Beautiful Moment (posted on: 09-01-15)
.................... πŸ™‚

Here, in this beautiful moment, slipping away from the world - steeped in this glorious season, shackles of earth now unfurled. Rising above all that binds me, lost in the star-sequined night - turning my eyes on the moon-glow, seeking a path to the light. Still, in this wonderful moment, scanning the darkness around - closing my eyes to all sadness, touching the dreams I have found.

Archived comments for Here, In This Beautiful Moment
Mikeverdi on 09-01-2015
Here, In This Beautiful Moment
Beautiful..... nothing else to say πŸ™‚
Mike
XxX

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike.
Val xxx

pommer on 09-01-2015
Here, In This Beautiful Moment
A beautiful creation. Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
And thank you to you also Peter.
Val xxx

charliesgirl on 09-01-2015
Here, In This Beautiful Moment
This is lovely Val! So meaningful!

Author's Reply:
Thanks Trish.
Val xxx

sweetwater on 09-01-2015
Here, In This Beautiful Moment
Gorgeous poem, in every way. πŸ™‚ Sue xx.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Sue.
Val xxx

Bozzz on 10-01-2015
Here, In This Beautiful Moment
Your poems always feel so extra personal - your symmetries especially - yet how should they feel otherwise. Stay golden touched. XXX...David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David. My Muse needs a kick up the a..se I'm afraid !
Val xxx


I Lost My Heart A Time Ago (posted on: 19-12-14)
xxxxxx

I lost my heart a time ago, it silently took flight - I looked within the daylight hours, and in the dark of night. I searched amidst the golden leaves of autumn, cast around, then glanced upon the glist'ning stars which there above abound. And here amongst the tangled vines, along the wooded ways, I yearned to hear its gentle throb through many endless days. I sought it in the crystal snow, and deep in feathered wings. Amongst sweet-scented lavender, and all soft tender things. In silver streams and leafy glens, bathed in the twilight's glow, to find my heart and feel it beat as once a time ago….. To find my heart and feel it beat as once a time ago.

Archived comments for I Lost My Heart A Time Ago
sweetwater on 20-12-2014
I Lost My Heart A Time Ago
Oh that's very lovely, reads beautifully and has great rhythm. There is so much sadness here. Sue xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue. Your comments are always appreciated.
Have a great Christmas, and all the very best for the New Year.
Val xx

Ionicus on 20-12-2014
I Lost My Heart A Time Ago
A sad and gentle poem expressing the longing for a return to happier times. A good composition.
Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Luigi, much appreciated.
All the very best for a happy Christmas and for the New Year.
Val xx

Bozzz on 20-12-2014
I Lost My Heart A Time Ago
Very beautiful in its purity of thought and construction. Well done Val.....Yours, David

Author's Reply:
Many thanks David, much appreciated.
All the best for a lovely Christmas and a great New Year.
Val xx

pommer on 20-12-2014
I Lost My Heart A Time Ago
A wonderful sad composition so well constructed Val.Wishing you a lovely Christmas, and a Happy New Year, Love Peter.xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Peter, much appreciated.
Wishing the same for you - all the very best.
Love, Val xxx

Mikeverdi on 21-12-2014
I Lost My Heart A Time Ago
Good to see you writing again on here; you have been missed by many. Another beautiful poem Val.
Mike
XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, much appreciated.
All the very best for Christmas and the New Year - Hope it's a good one !
Val xxx

Nemo on 21-12-2014
I Lost My Heart A Time Ago
Touching and moving, Val. Where are the snows of yesteryear?
Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year.
Gerald

Author's Reply:
Thank you Gerald. Guess those snows have just melted away !
Very best wishes to you Gerald.
Val


Little Bird (posted on: 24-10-14)
........ πŸ™

The sweetest sound I ever heard So issued from a tiny bird That all the universe stood still To listen to his joyful trill. It seemed that all creation bowed To see him on that bough, stood proud, As there he sang a merry song Enchanting all the morning long. ''Oh little bird with plumage bright Be there forever in my sight'' - I prayed that he would always stay But from that bough … he flew away. So then a vigil long I kept, While me and all creation wept, Until once more he graced the sky - The world and me no more would cry. Then out of nowhere came a bolt That surely caused my breath to halt – I heard a silence fall around, Then saw him flutter … to the ground. The world then grew a darker face As all the stars burned out in space. Alas, the little bird was dead Tears, me … and all creation … shed.
Archived comments for Little Bird
Mikeverdi on 24-10-2014
Little Bird
This rings of metaphor Val, or am I diving too deep? Whatever... It is splendid writing.
Mike
XxX

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Mike. Yes, there is a deeper meaning in there. It is meant to suggest that even the smallest and insignificant is part of a greater, cosmic picture and has a contribution to make - and that every loss, no matter how tiny, detracts from the beauty of that picture. Am so pleased that a metaphor was evident.
Keep well.
Val xxx

Ionicus on 25-10-2014
Little Bird
One can indeed sense a metaphor, as Mike said. A polished and rhythmic composition, Val, and a good read.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi. Yes, you will see from my reply to Mike that there is a metaphor. Pleased you enjoyed reading.
Val xx

Bozzz on 25-10-2014
Little Bird
This beautiful and clever piece at once electrified and then horrified me, for who in their right mind would shoot a songbird? Ah well, some silly kid with an air gun perhaps. A very good and emotional read...excellent compo Val...David

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading David. There is always some cold-hearted b .... rd out there set to destroy a thing of beauty, and ready to put down the smallest voice.
Val xx

sweetwater on 26-10-2014
Little Bird
Such a lovely poem, such a shocking ending. A bit like life really you love something too much, something so precious, but all the time you know it could so easily be taken from you by a thoughtless, pointless act.
Sue xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Sue. Metaphor or not, the world would be much diminished if we were to lose our little feathered friends.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Gothicman on 26-10-2014
Little Bird
Thought this reminiscent of "The Darkling Thrush" Val, till the bolt struck the little fella dead, then thought "fire and brimstone" for daring to sing differently, even though beautifully coherent! Or is this punishment for you being naughty? But, forget the metaphor, I'll settle for that damn neighbour's lad of yours with the crossbow! Never did like too much mystery! Metaphor or not, it's beautifully written, with an excellent finish. How empty and trist it would be without the bird calls and songs we take so much for granted, their loss would certainly be a punishment.
Thanks for a fine poem....Trevor

Author's Reply:
Thank you Trevor. It would indeed be a sad old world without those little birds. So pleased you liked my little poem.
Val πŸ™‚ x


They Soon Forget (posted on: 06-10-14)
Although personal to some extent, it is also relevant this year, and this time of the year .....

They soon forget and turn away, for them, their days remain – each day is just another day and passes all the same. They soon forget – the steady pulse of life beats on and on - the sun shines bright upon their time; for others, it has gone. For those with sorrow in their soul the hurt continues long - resounding in their broken hearts, Gorecki's mournful song. They soon forget, they soon forget, their memory grown pale – the world for them keeps turning round within their holy grail. The steady pulse of life beats on, the earth still moves through space - they soon forget, they soon forget the ones we can't replace

Archived comments for They Soon Forget
Mikeverdi on 06-10-2014
They Soon Forget
I love the way you write Val, you express your feeling very well.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike.
Val

pommer on 06-10-2014
They Soon Forget
Valerie, what beautiful words.Forgetting is so very difficult.I hope we never do. Thank you , Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Peter. Sadly, those who initiate the fighting seem to readily forget !
Val xxx

stormwolf on 06-10-2014
They Soon Forget
Poignant reminder of the inner trials many face and how alienating it can be .
It reminds me of the saying ' be kind to those you meet for many are fighting their own inner battles' or words to that effect.
I draw on that saying often.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison. "There but for the grace of God go I."
Val x

Gothicman on 07-10-2014
They Soon Forget
Love this counter response to the sad, but perhaps inevitable, dwindling "Lest we forget" Val. I think this poem is by far your best of those I've read of yours till now. The repetitions work well here as it drives home the main message. Even with annual reminders, those with ancestry who were personally affected, are diminishing in numbers in the total population, and also the sacrifice of a generation for a better world has not been honoured or realized and this goes for all who died/die needlessly in dubious duty of war, events have not gone as one hoped they would. Soon many decent lives will be lost to neutralizing religious ambition based on wide-spread indoctrinations and intolerance. Your fine poem will, I'm afraid, always be topical, Val. Fine poem. ..Trevor

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Trevor, and for your kind remarks. I am pleased that this write has the potential to be thought provoking and/or meaningful to anyone who may choose to read it.
Val πŸ™‚

sweetwater on 08-10-2014
They Soon Forget
People do forget, and some will never know of, or care about the many sacrifices made by others, my contribution to remembering is to ensure that my grandchildren know the difference my father made while he was at war, he went out under heavy enemy fire to bring in a wounded comrade, who would have otherwise died. Just one life maybe but the whole world to that soldiers family. My father never spoke of it, but he has the medals. I found your poem very thought provoking, and it brought back many memories. Much enjoyed πŸ™‚ Sue xx.


Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Sue. Your father is a fine example of why we should never forget. - thank you for sharing your story. Pleased you enjoyed, but hope that bringing back such memories was not upsetting for you.
Val xxx

Bozzz on 12-10-2014
They Soon Forget
There is always hope, for to forget is just inability to recall at a particular time. The human brain is no different from the computer in that access to memory is sometimes a variable commodity and scientists say in future it may be restorable. Not sure I'd like that - but there we go - taste the sour to get the sweet. XXX David

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading David. It is not just a simple matter of mechanically forgetting - people (who, unlike computers have the capacity to think for themselves and to care) sadly 'forget' because they no longer care, or don't care enough to remember. But c'est la vie I guess, and we are all guilty of it.
Val xx


Sealed (posted on: 03-10-14)
...................... πŸ™‚

Don't break the seal upon my lips, I won't reveal my mind - The dreams I hold within my heart Will there remain confined. No words shall now betray my thoughts, I will not set them loose, For silence has subdued my voice - Of words, I have no use. There's a silence          in my                     mind                             A darkness deep inside - I'll no more speak of dreams I hold, In you I won't confide.

Archived comments for Sealed
Mikeverdi on 03-10-2014
Sealed
Good to see you writing again Val. This is a sad, hauntingly beautiful piece; as always I love it.
I think the word 'now' is not needed at the ending; just a thought πŸ™‚
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike. Not writing much at present, completely blocked !! Appreciate your suggestion and may change, but please read my reply to Alison. So pleased you liked.
Val x

stormwolf on 03-10-2014
Sealed
hi Val.
Loved it and can relate in a very small way. I would lose the word 'now' totally superfluous...
I would also think about changing the layout of the last few lines to really show the agony.


There’s a silence
in my
mind


A darkness in my soul -

I’ll no more speak of dreams I hold
Within that deep black hole.

Just suggestions but ones I would not make if I did not think it would transform the poem.

Alison x


Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison for reading and commenting, and for your much valued suggestions. Before making any changes however, perhaps I could just explain that the inclusion of 'now' maintains the syllable count for each first line (you know me, I'm a bugger for consistency!), and I wanted to create a vision of falling into that black hole, and that is the reason for the layout of the last stanza. I really also wanted to put the last stanza in a smaller font to create an image of becoming quieter until eventually disappearing, but I don't know how to change font size here. If you still think your suggestions are an improvement in view of this explanation, then I will take them on board and change accordingly.
Val x

Gothicman on 03-10-2014
Sealed
Hello, Val, good to see you back. I agree with Mike and Alison with their suggestions, but in all honesty, I don't like the "deep black hole" phrase, astronomy has pinched it, Stephen Hawkins has pinched it! I would prefer just the ending to lose the fine rhyme that occurs throughout the earlier; the last line could be "within depths, so deep and desolate" or similar. Much, much better I think, losing the rhyme just at the end gives it more emphasis and poignancy. But, then, I'm a finicky old bugger, and not to be trusted with rhyme! Hahaha! Like the sentiments, form and italic-use otherwise, ...Trevor

Author's Reply:
Thanks Trevor. Made some changes in line with suggestions - what do you think ?
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 04-10-2014
Sealed
Hi Val,
I thought the alterations you have made have transformed the poem into superb. I find it amazing how even tiny alterations can (in some instances) transform a poem and give it that extra oomph that leaves a kick in the reader.
This is such a poem. Well done
Alison x


Author's Reply:
Many thanks Alison , and also for the nib ? So much appreciated.
Val x

Gothicman on 05-10-2014
Sealed
Much better, Val, that ghastly line stuck out by having whole different connotations than intended, ruined what otherwise now has become a beautiful poem. (As rhyme goes!) An good example of beneficial secondary revision! Trevor

Author's Reply:
Thank you Trevor for your much valued opinion.
Val πŸ™‚


Hold Me Tender (posted on: 03-10-14)
................ πŸ™‚

Hold me tender as I slumber Stay beside me while I sleep Be forever in my dreaming Keep me close lest I should weep Soothe my anguish in the morning Ease my heart from noontime care Then as twilight grows upon me Promise that you'll still be there So remain before the darkness Touches all this troubled mind Linger in the night's cold shadows All my heartache to unbind Hold me tender as I slumber Rescue me from solitude Stay with me until the morning When the day be then renewed

Archived comments for Hold Me Tender
Mikeverdi on 03-10-2014
Hold Me Tender
Beautiful, it tugs at the heart strings; if only springs to mind.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Mike - yes indeed, 'if only.'
Val πŸ™‚ x

pommer on 03-10-2014
Hold Me Tender
Hello Val, this is so very touching ad beautiful.Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Peter, so kind of you to read and comment. Always appreciated.
Val xxx

stormwolf on 04-10-2014
Hold Me Tender
Another beauty from your pen.
Out of darkness comes inspiration and creativity.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Alison. Am struggling a bit with writing these days, seem to have lost the impetus, but your comments are always very encouraging and I value your interest and assistance. Thank you again.
Val xx

sweetwater on 05-10-2014
Hold Me Tender
I loved this, it is so beautifully sad and haunting.It's exactly what I would like to say to a certain person if only I could. Sue xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Sue, and maybe you will get to say it some day.
Keep well.
Val xx


Darkling Eyes (posted on: 15-08-14)
............... πŸ™‚

What moves behind those darkling eyes What memories concealed - What shadows drift within their gaze What visions unrevealed
If I could reach into your mind All hidden thoughts to know What phantoms would I find therein What dreams would inside flow For as I look upon those eyes I see a secret world A world that you alone shall keep To never be unfurled The stories that you hold within Are yours forevermore To carry with you through all time Within your mem'ry store So when I see a wistful smile Or catch a teardrop fall I know that you're remembering All that you would recall Perhaps a mother's gentle kiss Perhaps her warm embrace Or maybe it's a sadder song Reflected on your face If only you would beckon me Behind those darkling eyes Together then to be as one Before the sunlight dies

Archived comments for Darkling Eyes
Mikeverdi on 15-08-2014
Darkling Eyes
Beautiful, this is a style you have made your own; I love it.
Thanks for posting Val
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, pleased you liked. You are so kind.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

pommer on 15-08-2014
Darkling Eyes
As emotional as ever Val.I really enjoyed reading it .Well done, Take care
Peter.xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Peter. So pleased you enjoyed. You take care too.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

sweetwater on 15-08-2014
Darkling Eyes
Hi Val, to me this spoke of much hidden sadness, beautifully expressed. Sue xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Sue, always much appreciated from you.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Supratik on 17-08-2014
Darkling Eyes
Brilliant! The poem has sadness, wisdom, love and affection. All emotions are captured with poetic brilliance. I would work on the length of the penultimate line though it's absolutely okay!! I will have to re-read it. Thank you for sharing the poem!

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Supratik, pleased you liked. Have changed the penultimate line, and maybe you think it reads better now. Thank you for your advice.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 17-08-2014
Darkling Eyes
Hi Val, I suspect that the darkling thoughts you seek might not always be quite as beautiful as this poem - what is it they say about us men thinking every ten seconds? Alright, I must not judge others by myself....back to your kennel David.

Author's Reply:
Hope your kennel's nice and warm David. Thanks for reading and commenting - can't imagine what darkling thoughts are going through your head, though your poetry is quite revealing.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Kipper on 17-08-2014
Darkling Eyes
Hello Val
Another beautiful poem, and as Mike V said, in your own unique style.
And for me a new word; I have not encountered 'darkling' before. Looked it up; can be quite menacing!
It's always a pleasure to read your poems and you add greatly to Bozzz's current campaign.
Best wishes, Michael

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Michael, so pleased you liked. Who knows what goes on in other people's minds !
Best wishes to you also. Keep well.
Val πŸ™‚ x


Lead Me Into Light (posted on: 01-08-14)
.................. -)

O take my heart and lead me into light For darkness overwhelms my soul tonight - Such melancholy steals the brightling day So chasing all that glistens far away The love that has now gone will ne'er return O'er this my mind, my soul, shall ever yearn - Must I, with longing, live a joyless life That cuts into me as a murd'rous knife So lost am I in bitter-sweet recall That into bleak despondency I fall - His voice shall never speak again my name For now he sleeps, no more a flick'ring flame I am but now a feather in the wind (A captured, dried, poor butterfly unpinned) Yet tracing circles in the silvered sky No place to rest, no earth on which to lie No substance 'neath my feet, no land secure Nowhere to set my heart, no ease procure - Embraced in solitude and set alone No dreams to dream upon, as all have flown Behold my tears, behold this hapless face Behold my heart, behold that empty place - Bear witness to these vestiges of grief The plight from which I'll ever seek relief O come into my world and fill the void This world that fate has taken and destroyed - Caress my soul and with your love then feed To satisfy my ever burning need So bring me flowers, bring me songs to sing Bring me your heart, bring me a gladful thing - Adorn my hair with ribbons purest white Bring me your love and be with me tonight Then lead me into pastures sweet and fair Unfettered by all sadness and despair – That I should once more see the glowing sun And so rejoice before my life is done

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Inside Of You (posted on: 28-07-14)
................. )

Let me dwell inside of you for just a little while Feel your heartbeat softly pulse and linger in your smile There to share each breath you take each movement of your eye Mingle with your burning blood each teardrop as you cry Taking every step with you whispering through your voice So together bound in love O how we would rejoice You and I could move the world if we were joined as one Hold the stars within our hands and reach out for the sun Let me dwell inside of you my spirit there sustain Be the guardian of my soul that I might live again

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Only Dreaming (posted on: 25-07-14)
................. ))

I know I was only dreaming When I heard you speak my name Only my imagination Which brought you to me again Oh yes, just a mere illusion That made me believe you're here And sadly some wishful thinking That caused me to shed a tear My eyes were deceived in seeing A glimpse of your smiling face My arms were not really aching When I sought your warm embrace How could I have been so foolish To think you were back with me Oh why was I so misguided Knowing time has set you free

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Solid Ground (posted on: 21-07-14)
............... πŸ˜‰

I built my house on solid ground Convinced that it was safe and sound Not thinking that the earth could move But earthquakes happen just to prove No ground can ever be secure - My house fell down and is no more. Beneath the surface, nothing's fixed As with the rocks our fate is mixed And everything can surely break - There's nothing that the earth can't shake No walls forever stay erect And all that's joined can disconnect

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Someone Stole The Moon (posted on: 18-07-14)
Where can she be .....

Someone stole the moon last night Left the land bereft of light Sorrow filled the sequinned sky And all the stars began to cry There above as glist'ning tears (Weeping, weeping, no-one hears) Flutt'ring down upon the world Like soft confetti deftly hurled Oh to see her face again Then to watch her wax and wane Lost to sight her Imbrian sea So sweetly named Tranquillity Gone the night-time's wondrous glow Tides no longer ebb and flow Months shall cease and days decline As now the moon will no more shine Where is she, Oh where is she She whose light shone down on me Please return her to her place Suspended in the frame of space Set above and counting time O'er the mountain tops to climb Minute-hand upon the clock - Tick tock, tick tock - tick tock, tick tock –

Archived comments for Someone Stole The Moon
deadpoet on 16-11-2014
Someone Stole The Moon
Hi Val- you sure have a talent for these hmm sonnets (?)- I have lost touch a bit. This must have been a hard one to crack- so well done. Love it.
pia xx

Author's Reply:
Hi Pia, nice to have you back. Thank you for commenting and for the nom - much appreciated. No, it's not a sonnet, but so pleased you liked. Not writing much these days myself - lost the spark and the inspiration I'm afraid. But I do keep looking in, and shall look out for you. Hope you are well.
Val xx

gwirionedd on 08-06-2015
Someone Stole The Moon
Excellent poem. Lovely flowing metre.

Although I think "will no more shine" sounds better than "no more will shine".



Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting gwirionedd, and I have changed as per your advice.
Best wishes.
Val


World of Wonder (posted on: 27-06-14)
........ πŸ™‚

A world of wonder waits for you Just seek and you shall find A multitude of miracles To captivate your mind Look far upon the ocean's swell White horses rise and fall Then watch the glowing sun at dawn And hear the song-birds call Across the wide expanse of blue Tall sailing ships drift by While cotton clouds that float above Adorn the sapphire sky The autumn leaves that turn to gold Then summer into green And bluebells nestling in the woods Create a heav'nly scene With tinted hues the flowers bloom The corn sways in the fields Such beauty set before our eyes Which Mother Nature yields A world of wonder waits for you Just look around and see There's so much splendour on display To dazzle you and me
Archived comments for World of Wonder
Mikeverdi on 27-06-2014
World of Wonder
Truly uplifting Val, one to raise spirits on a dull or desperate day.
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.
Val xx

sweetwater on 28-06-2014
World of Wonder
This is beautiful, but it made me sad too, I thought of the wind farms harnessing the white horses, and roads and houses
roaming across those woods and fields. I fear future generations will be the poorer for the destruction of our 'world of wonders'. Sue.xx

Author's Reply:
Goodness knows what the future holds Sue, as we continue to over-populate our planet. Many thanks for reading and commenting.
Val xx

stormwolf on 29-06-2014
World of Wonder
Another that can grace the pages of your book. I can see them all with an illustration on one side and the poem on the other. I think they would sell. Patience Strong was very successful.
I know these are not quite the same as she had the religious slant but they are easy reading and uplifting so many people can identify with it.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison. Maybe I should look into this book idea sometime. Appreciate your kind comments.
Val πŸ™‚ x


Gently In The Morning (posted on: 27-06-14)
....... πŸ™‚

Gently in the morning touch me if you will tell me that you love me when the day is still Keep me close against you just before the dawn soothe away my sorrows 'fore the day is born Kiss me as I tremble gaze into my eyes let me feel you near me when the night-time dies Gently in the morning hold me in the shade when the bright sun rises that's when I'm afraid

Archived comments for Gently In The Morning
Mikeverdi on 27-06-2014
Gently In The Morning
To face another lonely day... I can feel the emptyness surrounding the words.
Mike
XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Mike, much appreciated.
Val xx

stormwolf on 27-06-2014
Gently In The Morning
Hi Val,
A lovely, gentle poem. The twist in the end is that the harsh light of day (in the poem called the bright sun) brings anxieties whereas many times we welcome the day after a fitful night. The bright sun refers to those for whom a new day is to be welcomed, not shunned, as it's in the shadows the connection is strongest.
The poem is intimate, so the night with all its intimacy and memories seems a safer place to reside.
I understand what you are saying.

Well written and expressed.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison. It's about receiving a 'fix' of love and strength before embarking on the trials and tribulations of the day. I miss that sense of security and support now, which leaves me feeling vulnerable and anxious.
Val xx

Kipper on 27-06-2014
Gently In The Morning
Hello Val
Another lovely poem expressing memories of your love and I guess the pain of knowing that memories are all that is left.
Small comfort I suppose but many people will envy you those memories.
Best regards as always, Michael

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Michael for your kind comments. Always much appreciated.
Val xx

Savvi on 30-06-2014
Gently In The Morning
Hi Val
I very much enjoyed the subtle end rhymes in your poem, the subject keeps the reader guessing between lovers in bed as they wake and waking alone but wanting the touch of a lover, nicely balanced with a underlying sense of melancholy. very well penned. Best Keith

Author's Reply:
Thank you Keith for your lovely comments, very much appreciate.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


I've Lost The Road To Paradise (posted on: 13-06-14)
................. πŸ™‚

I've lost the road to Paradise Dark shadows bar the way The path is strewn with memories Which dim the burnished day With heavy heart I wander long To find this land obscure That I should in its glory dwell In joy forevermore But many twists and turns are marked It seems, to steal my quest And all concealed in shrouds of care My spirit thus to test So hail the stars to light my way To guide me through the night And hail the wind to spur me forth The sun to shine yet bright I'll ever seek to find a way The bracken thick to clear     For as vile fate has torn my soul With hope my heart shall steer So marching on, and resolute, To walk the rugged track Then set to win life's game of chance Go forth and not look back
Archived comments for I've Lost The Road To Paradise
sweetwater on 14-06-2014
Ive Lost The Road To Paradise
There's a lesson here for all of us. I look back far too much for my own good. Really enjoyed all the images here, especially the Bracken, my own paradise had woods filled with it, ( oops looking back again! ) Lovely poem, will read it often. πŸ™‚ Sue.x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and rating Sue, so pleased you liked. I always appreciate and value your comments.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

stormwolf on 14-06-2014
Ive Lost The Road To Paradise
If anyone is a bit confused as to how to work on meter while working in rhyme they need look no further than your poems.

Your deep feeling runs through your work giving depth and the meticulous attention to detail makes them a pleasure to read.
There are many things in assessing a poem as has been discussed on the forum.
I will always respect your style, your subject matter but most of all, your respect for your work which shines out and is without doubt deserved.
As good old Kenneth McKellar sang "keep right on to the end of the road" πŸ˜‰

Alison xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Alison for your much valued comments, which I am always delighted to receive. As for that road, well I guess we all end up back on it eventually, no matter how far we have strayed or been held up along the way.
Val πŸ™‚ xx


Becoming (story) (posted on: 09-06-14)
Resubmission of my one and only short story, which I have recently revised .....

 It was dark, I was immersed in a fluid world, so small within its depths. Beyond the boundary, muffled sounds soft and tender, could be heard. Sighs, laughter, and I longed to see from where they came, yearning for sight to penetrate opaque lids. But all that could be seen were shadows - shadows, like phantoms drifting through a sea of calm. In the distance could be heard a hypnotic tick tick tick, marking time it seemed - my time, here, within. But what of time: was there a beginning, or an end ? Suspended in peaceful unknowing, I was rocked, by the gentle sway of my world, into a silent slumber. All was well in this universe, where quiet waves licked against unseen shores. But there was a storm unfolding . A turbulence began to envelop me; I was surrounded with its torment - undulating, seizing, pushing - and I felt the first pangs of fear pulsating through my being. Then, bewildered and disgruntled, I emerged from the darkness, kicking and screaming into the light.
BECOMING Part 1:     Ovulation / Conception I 'knew' nothing of my true beginnings - how could I, for I was a mystery, a mystery yet to be revealed. So where do I begin to explain the story of my existence? Many consider that my origin was set beyond this universe, and that I was fixed in the wider cosmos that embraces all of creation. It is believed that I was rooted in the stars, the stars being the source of the DNA at the very core of my being. Could it have been that, at the inception of all things, I had descended through the chaos then generated and entered into the world in which I now exist? It is my belief that in the fullness of time, silently and in solitude, I was carried by the ether and laid in the cocoon in which I then found myself. I was so very, very small - a microcosm within a larger world of which I was totally unaware. My existence thus far had seemed so insignificant, and it felt as if I was in a state of suspended animation - waiting. I had been 'waiting' for such a very long time, it seemed, but I could not comprehend the reason for my waiting, if indeed there was a reason. But then it happened, suddenly and without warning, there was an explosion. It was an explosion which catapulted me out of my cocoon into what appeared to be the vastness of space, but which soon changed as it began to assume the likeness of a dark tunnel down which I was being propelled. Where I was going, I did not know. I had entered into a different world, on another journey, but was unaware of my destination. It was during this journey that something strange started to happen and I became aware that I was not alone. There, in the darkness, I could sense a presence, a presence akin to a swirling mass. It seemed to be like a flood or vortex which seemed to contain others like myself, yet not like myself, and I was afraid for I did not immediately know if they were benevolent beings or hostile entities which were invading this new environment. They 'swam' closer and closer until I was surrounded and my fear became all-consuming, but strangely it was a temporary fear which did not last for long, for I instinctively knew that their purpose was as it should be.. At that moment, I started to tremble and I felt myself spinning round and round. I then realised that I was in the midst of this vortex, and it was the intruders who had themselves initiated the spinning. It was not an unpleasant experience for it felt as though I was surrounded by soft feathers; feathers that were brushing past and around me, nudging me softly and tenderly, almost lulling me into sleep. Slowly, I was becoming transfixed during this apparent 'assault' on my being, an 'assault' which, I have to say, I found to be extraordinarily gentle, and consequently the fear that I had initially felt began to evaporate - I was floating, and started to slip into an hypnotic slumber. But then, and suddenly, I was aroused from this impending sleep when I felt a sharp piercing sensation. It was as if one of those 'feathers' had inserted its quill into my very core. I instinctively 'knew' that its purpose was to bring about change, and with this, I was filled with trepidation. I 'knew' then that I was going to change into something much greater than that which I was, and something far greater than the sum of its parts. But I also 'knew' that such change was necessary, it was meant to happen, as the alternative would have been certain death. The spinning continued following the 'piercing' of my being. Then came a strange feeling, a feeling that I was being torn apart. It was as if my entire self had been split asunder, and then split again, and again, and again. I wondered as to the purpose of this apparent 'dividing' of myself, and what was happening to me. What was I becoming? I was indeed changing, but I did not understand. Oddly, it also seemed that I was no longer the incomplete entity that I had always felt myself to be - I was not the solitary being I was before. I had become aware of a feeling of totality, of becoming whole, for until this time, I had always 'known' that a part of me was missing. This engendered an all-pervading sense of satisfaction and I 'knew,' deep within, that somehow I was attaining the purpose of my existence and fulfilling the potential within me. I knew nothing of my appearance following the many divisions of myself, but I imagined or sensed that I resembled a collection of tiny shimmering pearls, and that these pearls were bound together by love. I 'knew' about love from my days in the cocoon, and prior to that when I was a part of a larger world. Also, through my connection with a cosmos far greater than myself, and which is the fount of all knowledge. Love is the binding force that holds everything together and repels anything which attempts to disturb its purpose. Consequently, I realised that whatever was happening to me was born out of love and therefore had to be a good thing. Still travelling, moving down that long dark tunnel, eventually my journey came to a halt, and I felt the gentle undulations of a new environment enfolding me within its grasp. It was warm, so warm, and soft like a down-filled pillow, and my fears were allayed in this, my new home where I had become implanted, for it was indeed beautiful. Time passed as I rested in my Garden of Eden, in my innocence - there was nothing to disturb my tranquillity here I thought, nothing. Suspended in peaceful unknowing, I was rocked, through a gentle swaying of my world, into a silent slumber. I began to sleep a sleep of deep contentment, unaware of what was to become of me. Part 2:     Development It was dark - I was immersed in a fluid world, so small within its depths. I could sense that my environment was like an ocean in which I was suspended, but I was also aware of being tethered. I was still going through the process of division, but somehow this had become more tolerable now, more acceptable, almost natural it seemed. All was well in this universe, where quiet waves licked against unseen shores. On and on it continued for what seemed an eternity. It was a state of 'eternity' that had existed for me prior to my days in the cocoon, yet I did understand the concept of time, time as measured by the cosmos, the cosmos being my place of origin. During this period, points of differentiation, such as a rounded mass which appeared to be located at the upper part of my being, started to develop. There was also a flexible rigidity that, I noted, gave added strength to my previously loosely bound-together self. I continued to grow, swelling and unfolding like a rose unfurling its petals. I 'knew' about flowers - this knowledge had always been within my unconscious 'knowing,' that is to say, within that deep ocean of experience into which I had always been able to tap. I 'knew' that roses were beautiful, and therefore that I was also beautiful. I fell into sleep, contented. I was awoken from my sleep by a gentle pulsation deep within my being, but which was only just perceptible. It resembled a steady beat, beat, beating sensation. Beset with wonder, and bemused by this further aspect of my changing, I pondered upon its significance. Somehow, I 'knew' it was essential for my continued survival, and therefore it was not something of which to be afraid. I was also aware of changes which had taken place both within and upon the rounded area to which I have already referred. Two small apertures developed, one on either side, together with two 'circles' which were side by side with a small raised area between them. There was also a fissure that I could pucker and stretch. I was confused and perplexed for I did not understand the significance of this - yet. I also became aware that four tiny buds were forming, developing out of myself. They began to flicker and twitch, and I 'knew' that they had a purpose, although I did not yet know what that purpose was. The buds continued to grow and become stronger - eventually I became able to move them of my own volition, though not with intent of course. I was stirred and excited by this 'quickening' and vivacity, which was so much beyond my understanding, but I comprehended that I was not inert, I was alive - I was alive and realising my potential. In the course of time, further smaller protuberances started to appear on the tips of the buds already in place, twenty of them in total, five on each limb. There were times in my world when I felt some degree of discomfort or agitation, and I discovered that if I inserted one of these protuberances into the aforementioned fissure, this action would trigger the fissure to begin undulating around it. This instinctive behaviour proved to be very comforting and I knew it would bring to me a much desired feeling of solace in future times. I did not know why this should be, I just 'knew' that it was. It was an activity that would occupy me for a long time to come, such was the pleasure that it brought. It was only in the fullness of time that I realised that the process I was experiencing had continued then for nearly three months - three long months, as counted by the sun and the moon. It seemed to me that my changing self was nearing completion - a new sense of wholeness embraced me, and I smiled by stretching the fissure - yes, I was able to 'smile,' but I did not 'know' the reason for my smiling. I did not 'know' that, later, when it became purposeful, there would be a feeling called 'emotion' that would become the trigger for it to occur. I did not, at this time, 'know' about emotion, although something deep within my being told me that I had known about it a long, long time ago, and that it could be both distressing and beautiful. As time progressed, I became further aware of a presence within the rounded area which I realised constituted the upper part of myself. Although it was not palpable, I 'knew' of it existence because of an expanding consciousness which enabled me to sense things, things that I had not been able to sense previously. Beyond the boundary of my fluid world, muffled sounds, soft and tender, could be 'heard,' such as sighs, laughter, and a soothing 'thump thump thumping' which brought me great comfort. I hoped this would continue indefinitely, indeed forever (what did 'forever' mean - I felt I should know, but I didn't. Was it the same as eternity?). I also heard music - I 'knew' about music from my time in the cosmos when it drifted through the universe as beautiful, stirring vibrations, and I recognised the strains of Beethoven, Bach, Sibelius etc, 'knowing' that I had met them before. I longed to 'see' from where these sounds came, yearning for such sight to penetrate the opaque lids that covered the two small circles which were situated on the rounded area, as previously described. But all that could be seen were shadows - shadows, like phantoms drifting through a sea of calm. In the distance could also be heard a hypnotic tick, tick, tick, marking time it seemed - my time, here, within? But what of time, was there a beginning or an end? Although I had 'known' about the concept of eternity, it was gradually slipping away from my consciousness as my 'becoming' progressed and moved towards fulfilment. There were occasions when a gentle pressure was exerted upon me from beyond my world - it was as if my existence needed to be verified and monitored by some source outside of myself. Could it be that I had assumed some degree of importance or value, and that love and care had entered into my world? Love was a concept I had always instinctively 'known' about, but until my changing, I felt I had never experienced it before, or at least it was not within my then memory-scale to recall. It was wonderful and beyond all description, and I 'knew' then that I was wanted. Part 3:     Birth Over time, I began to feel my fluid-filled world closing in on me, becoming smaller. Moving became difficult, and I realised that it was myself who had grown so large, so large that I was filling the space that was my universe. I felt a compulsion to twist and turn myself so that I was facing downwards, but without knowing the reason for this other than that this was something I had to do. Then a sense of apprehension and foreboding came over me, for there was a storm unfolding. A turbulence had begun to envelop me, and I was surrounded by its torment - undulating, seizing, pushing - and I felt the first pangs of fear pulsating through my being, and which felt like electricity surging through me. I also realised that my fluid world had dissolved around me - my protective environment had fallen away and I felt bereft of its soothing presence. Outside of my world, I heard a great deal of disturbance - there were sounds I had not heard before, distressing sounds like groaning and shouting. And 'voices', so many voices. One of these voices I recognised, as I had heard it so often whilst within my protected world. It was sweet and gentle, and I 'knew' that it would be important to me for a very long time to come. The squeezing and pushing of my small being seemed to go on forever until, eventually, both bewildered and disgruntled, I emerged from the darkness in which I had been surrounded for so long - kicking and screaming, I entered into a world of light. The warmth and the comfort I had known thus far was gone, and the brightness that I encountered triggered an unpleasant but temporary sensation of disquiet and unease, although this was soon to be dispelled. I then heard a voice say "Well done Mum, you've got a beautiful baby ……..," and the tether to which I had been connected was also released. I 'knew' then that I was a free individual, though not yet independent. I had become what I was always intended to be. Although there was light all around me, I could not see clearly. The opaque lids, which had been closed for so long, were reluctant to open. But soon, very soon the blurred sight began to clear a little. The vision I then encountered was beautiful beyond description, and which I 'knew' I would never forget. At the same time, I felt a warm enfoldment around my being - I was held and caressed by another environment. I wondered what the word "Mum" meant, but I 'knew,' deep inside, that it was a wonderful word and one that would stay with me for a very long time. I then felt droplets of warm fluid falling onto my 'face.' They seemed to flow from two dark pools which were fixed upon me, and the fissure, which lay beneath them, grew wider and wider, becoming closer, closer and closer, until it touched my face - I didn't know it then, but I was being kissed. I 'realised' that these features were those which were also set upon my own form, and that I had now become aware of some of their purpose. It had been a long journey, but I had arrived at my destination both happy and content. The changing was now complete, and I was tired, so very tired, and all I wanted to do was sleep …….and forget. But the forgetting never came, as I remember to this day the process of my 'becoming,' and I feel that, somehow, this was not meant to be. But my 'becoming' was over, and I 'knew,' not through words or conscious knowledge, rather instinctively, that I was the keeper of the greatest secret of all - the secret of life itself. I 'knew' also that it was part of my destiny to perpetuate this process, for I am a girl, and I carry within me the seeds of future humanity. I also 'knew' that I had many other tasks to fulfil, things to learn, and a balance to redress following on from previous existences. Furthermore, I 'knew' that beyond a time-scale which is incomprehensible to mankind, I would return to my origins, to where I had always existed in a state of potentiality. I would once more reside amongst the stars, as part of the all-embracing cosmos, 'knowing' that the cycles of life will continue, for when it comes down to basics, we are all just a collection of atoms and molecules, and it has been said that …… * "Energy (Matter) cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another."                          (Albert Einstein) (* Matter can be converted to Energy, or vice versa. Einstein's Formula E=mc^2).
Archived comments for Becoming (story)
Mikeverdi on 11-06-2014
Becoming (story)
Well....that was different Val πŸ™‚ I will read it again, there's a lot to take in. I would love you to tell what brought this story about, its So different from your poetry. I found it fascinating. Like all stories there are changes that could be made , words that seem redundant...but so what; I enjoyed it.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, glad you enjoyed. I wrote the 'poem' first, then thought it might make a good subject for a story.
I'm not a story writer really, but just thought I would have a go.
Val πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 11-06-2014
Becoming (story)
Many thanks for the nib.
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

Bozzz on 12-06-2014
Becoming (story)
I love this Val, for it is something we can all imagine. I think the only difference for a man is that I can remember when I was a little sperm swimming around looking for the best egg to taste. So it can be summed up as "Been there, done that !"
A perfect example of the laws of chance in operation. Bravo Val.....David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David. Perhaps you could write a story from the sperm's perspective.
Val πŸ™‚


I Will Leave You Silently (posted on: 09-05-14)
......... πŸ™‚

I will leave you silently In the still of night, When the birds have nested long, And the moon grows bright. You won't see me leaving then, As in fullest day - After twilight's shadows fall I will slip away. I won't stir you from your sleep, You'll not see me cry - I will leave you silently When I say goodbye.

Archived comments for I Will Leave You Silently
stormwolf on 09-05-2014
I Will Leave You Silently
You seem determined to make me cry today, Val.
This is chock full of restrained emotion and love.

Congrats on the nib btw

Alison x


Author's Reply:
Thanks again Alison - the nib took me by surprise on this one, but delighted of course. Hope your eyes have dried out now.
Val πŸ™‚ x

sweetwater on 10-05-2014
I Will Leave You Silently
I think Alison and I need to share a box of tissues on this one. My goodness this is amazingly beautiful but soooo sad. Excuse me I have to dry my eyes now. Sue X

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Sue - sorry about the tears !!
Val πŸ™‚ x

pommer on 10-05-2014
I Will Leave You Silently
It left me with wet eyes once again Val a beautiful write. Peter.xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Peter for reading and rating - I'll be getting a bill for all the boxes of tissues !! Not sure if all this sad stuff is good or bad, but it's the nature of the beast I'm afraid.
Val πŸ™‚ xx


I Dreamt I Danced With You (posted on: 09-05-14)
.......... πŸ™‚

Last night I dreamt I danced with you - We Waltzed between the stars Then Quickstepped through the asteroids Passed Jupiter and Mars. I wore a gown of crimson silk And you a waistcoat bright - Glittering 'cross the star-filled dome We danced through all the night. With eyes that met and cheek-to-cheek Enfolded in your arms - Your hand upon my slender waist Enraptured by your charms. We Samba'd in the twilight hours Together with such grace - On clouds of ether floating high We Tango'd on through space. Then falling down to earth again We Cha-Cha'd round the moon - And as the music filled the void I felt our bodies swoon. Last night I dreamt I danced with you But now the dream has gone Yet in my heart the memory Shall linger on and on.
Archived comments for I Dreamt I Danced With You
stormwolf on 09-05-2014
I Dreamt I Danced With You
Brought tears to my eyes.
Another for your book!
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison - sorry about the tears, didn't mean to, honest !!
Val πŸ™‚ x

sweetwater on 10-05-2014
I Dreamt I Danced With You
This is so lovely, With dreams that powerful its almost unbearable to wake up. Sue X.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue for commenting and rating, much appreciated - sweet dreams.
Val πŸ™‚ x

pommer on 10-05-2014
I Dreamt I Danced With You
Thank you for sharing,Val.It once again brought back memories.One wishes those dreams would go on forever.Another one that made me cry.Thank you, Peter.xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Peter - sorry about the tears again !
Val πŸ™‚ x x

Bozzz on 11-05-2014
I Dreamt I Danced With You
So often a dance together brings confirmation of a loving partnership. Dreams are a temporary re-uniting and reliving a critical moment of bodily contact - these are among life's treasures to be safely stored.

Author's Reply:
Thank you David.

Kipper on 15-05-2014
I Dreamt I Danced With You
Another tale so telling, another tear is welling; when dreams and memories merge into one this is what happens - that is if your name is Val.
So nice, Michael


Author's Reply:
Thank you Michael, so pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Kipper on 15-05-2014
I Dreamt I Danced With You
Another tale so telling, another tear is welling; when dreams and memories merge into one this is what happens - that is if your name is Val.
So nice, Michael


Author's Reply:
Michel, only just found your comment here, so apologies and thank you for reading and commenting. Have missed several comments, which I don't understand. Maybe due to this changeover.
Cheers.
Val πŸ™‚


What Heaven Is This (posted on: 05-05-14)
Epiphany .....

What heaven is this, before my eyes, Where far beyond, veiled mountains rise, And lush green pastures 'neath my feet Yet urge my heart to faster beat. What place is this, what beauteous land, That each before my sight is spanned All nature's treasures, bright and true, In full display, in every hue. What shangri-la, what joyful bliss, Should so excite my soul like this - Am I to think that death is near To bring such visions, bright and clear? But what of death, no earthly curse, For then the spirit shall disperse To spread its tendrils o'er the world, Such that the mind be so unfurled. What is this time, what is this place Within my heart, I feel its grace – A sweeter realm where ends the night, And where forever shines the light.

Archived comments for What Heaven Is This
sweetwater on 05-05-2014
What Heaven Is This
Ah now this is where I want to be at some point, as long as no developers from this life are allowed in! Lovely, lovely poem. Thank you for submitting such a beautiful write. Sue.xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue for reading and rating. Much appreciated, and so pleased you liked.
Val. πŸ™‚ xx

Pronto on 05-05-2014
What Heaven Is This
Beautiful Val I really enjoyed the read.
Thank you

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pronto, and for the generous rating. So pleased you enjoyed.
Val

Kipper on 06-05-2014
What Heaven Is This
Val,
It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words but I think that you have proved them wrong, at least if they are your words. 137 words does the job very nicely.
Best regards,
Michael.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your lovely comment Michael, and the rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 06-05-2014
What Heaven Is This
As always Val, just beautiful; you go from strength to strength.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike for your kind words.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 07-05-2014
What Heaven Is This
Just lovely,
The wonder of the scene came through.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚ x


Biscuits (posted on: 02-05-14)
Now I've really lost the plot !!!

Chocolate Bourbons, Custard Creams All McVities and Peak Freans Twix bars, Kit Kat, Ribband Blue Shrewsbury, Shortbread, Fig Rolls too Oreo and choc chip cookie Jammie Dodgers if you're lucky Oatcakes, wafers, macaroon Such delights to make you swoon Stored in jars and kept in tins Rich Tea, Hobnobs, Ginger Thins

Archived comments for Biscuits
sweetwater on 02-05-2014
Biscuits
Had to smile when I read this, I was eating a digestive at the time. Macaroons ahh I loved the ones with rice paper and an almond Can't seem to find those anymore. Great fun poem, bounced along with as much satisfaction as the biscuits themselves give. Sue.x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating Sue - hope you manage to find those macaroons, lovely !!
Val πŸ™‚ x

MrMarmite on 02-05-2014
Biscuits
Hi Val. This week on my window round had lots of biscuits and tea off my customers now your poem. I've done poems on dunking them but your one takes the biscuit ! Love it. Right where's those custard creams !

Author's Reply:
Thanks Kevin - love those custard creams too !
Val πŸ™‚ x

chant_z on 02-05-2014
Biscuits
Down the little red lane they go ... :). In this town there's American stores and Polish stores etc but none of that. Have to get over at some point soon. Tempting and playful it is.

Fred

Author's Reply:
Thanks Fred - hope you find some soon !
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 02-05-2014
Biscuits
Hi Val,

I'm afraid the writing's on the wall (as well as UKA) All that sweet stuff is only going to play havoc with your slender figure!

So I'll send you my address and you can put them in a box and ... No! did you say? I'm only trying to help ... not even a Ribband Blue?

Well it is a great poem anyway.

Michael

Author's Reply:
Ha - well I'm flattered that you think I have a slender waist, I wish ! But I'm not fat fat, so a few more of those biscuits will be okay. Sorry, better luck next time. Thanks for commenting Michael.
Val :-))

Andrea on 02-05-2014
Biscuits
Hahaha, fun pome. I wrote something similar, about cheese. But yours is sweeter πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea - just to prove that I do have a lighter side.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 02-05-2014
Biscuits
Well,Val I enjoyed the thought of all those biscuits.I'm a sucker for Jammy Dodgers.A lovely cheerful write.That's the way the cookie crumbles. Peter xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Peter - agree with you on those Jammie Dodgers, divine ! Glad you enjoyed my little bit of madness !
Al πŸ™‚ xx

Savvi on 02-05-2014
Biscuits
All those biscwits and no cup of tea, I'm off to brew up, great fun, Keith

Author's Reply:
Thanks Keith, and yes, that cup of tea is absolutely essential for dunking purposes !!
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 03-05-2014
Biscuits
An obvious comment to make would be 'it takes the biscuit', so I won't say it nor will I jest that it was a piece of cake for you to write this, so I just bow to your knowledge on the subject.
Yours sincerely, Luigi Garibaldi.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Luigi - forgot about the Garibaldi, love them too !
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 04-05-2014
Biscuits
Who's got a statuesque figure then? It is said that the entire female population of North Korea is being groomed to take over the catwalks of the decadent West by 2020 - bit cynical.
Your poem reads like the contents of my secret "Sweetie Drawer" before my left eye became useless - cholesterol - be warned ! ..... Love from David

Author's Reply:
Not me David, at just 5ft, far from statuesque, but not a roly poly either ! Already got the cholesterol though, haven't we all ? As for the biscuits, don't eat many really. Thanks for reading and commenting. Val xx

Pronto on 05-05-2014
Biscuits
Guilty for upon my lap a ginger snap! great fun mate well done.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pronto, and for the generous rating. Enjoy your ginger snap !
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 06-05-2014
Biscuits
Ha Ha! Kit Kat Chunkey bars for me...well anything with chocolate really πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Sorry Mike, only just found your comment. Thanks for that, and enjoy your choc bars !
Val xx


Two Shadows (posted on: 21-04-14)
I saw two shadows walking .....

I saw two shadows walking Yet I was there alone - Two shadows softly drifting As I walked on my own. Two shadows in the sunlight Two shadows there with me - As I turned round to see them One mine, the other he. But he was not there with me Not there, not by my side, Yet still two shadows lingered Though long ago he died. I saw two shadows walking Upon that lovely day – I saw one softly drifting Then slowly fade away.

Archived comments for Two Shadows
Kipper on 21-04-2014
Two Shadows
Hello Val,
Another very nice poem, beautifully phrased as always. Reminiscent I feel of 'Footsteps' but presented in a way that could only be you.
I guess the slight uncertainty at the end represents the ultimate uncertainty we all face.
Michael


Author's Reply:
Thank you Michael for commenting and rating. Always much appreciated from your good self.
Val πŸ™‚

sweetwater on 21-04-2014
Two Shadows
This is a beautiful piece of writing, I firmly believe we do not walk alone. πŸ™‚ Sue x.

Author's Reply:
Pleased you liked this Sue, and thank you once again for commenting and rating. So much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚ x

stormwolf on 21-04-2014
Two Shadows
Wistful and beautifully poignant

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting again Alison, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Pelequin23 on 21-04-2014
Two Shadows
beautiful feel to this and well written , captures the spirit so well

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Pelequin, always much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 21-04-2014
Two Shadows
Well written as usual,a very touching poem. Peter xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Peter for commenting and rating. Always appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

ValDohren on 21-04-2014
Two Shadows
Many thanks to whoever for the nom - delighted, of course.
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

pdemitchell on 22-04-2014
Two Shadows
Simple, well-paced and powerfully sad. Mitch

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Mitch, appreciate.
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 23-04-2014
Two Shadows
A wistful poem nicely crafted.
Best, Luigi

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Luigi, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 23-04-2014
Two Shadows
Beautifully written as always Val. Congrats on the well deserved Nom. I always say I don't believe in this kind of spirit world... But I talk out lowed to my Father all the time; he's been dead over twenty years πŸ™‚
Mike xXx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike. I know what you mean - it is difficult to believe in the absence of evidence, but I try keep an open mind. Guess we would all like to think that there is a spirit world and that death is not the end. Just have to keep hoping.
Val πŸ™‚ xxx

MrMarmite on 23-04-2014
Two Shadows
Hi Val. Smashing poem as usual. Forgive me if I'm wrong but I imagined this was about you and your husband ?As you know I've lost both my parents and baby son and a friend who believes in a spirit world says they are close to me all the time.
I have had some strange experiences over the years so who can say ? Your earthly friend-Kevin.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Kevin. This is an imaginative write, the 'shadows' being in my mind rather than actually being there. I'm afraid I do not have the gift of such perceptions. We must all take comfort where we can find it. I am sure your loved ones are close to you, after all they are there in your heart at the very least.
Best wishes to you.
Val xx


When I Am Gone (posted on: 18-04-14)
When I am gone, when I am gone .....

When I am gone, when I am gone, will you then think of me - not this for long drawn hours or days or for eternity …. Nor yet through Winter's cold decline, nor Springtime's sweet embrace - not during Summer's long-spun days to dwell upon my face. But only for a moment's time, a fleeting memory that passes through the twilight hours - one second just for me. And when I'm gone, yes when I'm gone please then recall my name – not as the raging ocean's swell or brightly burning flame … But merely as a passing cloud, a softly blowing breeze, or as a distant murmuring - a whisper in the trees. I ask only a moment's thought, to think of me, then smile – not this for long drawn hours or days but just a little while.

Archived comments for When I Am Gone
Pelequin23 on 18-04-2014
When I Am Gone
a very moving piece , excellent

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks Pelequin, and for the top rating - delighted.
Val :-))

PS: Thanks also for the fav, and the nom if it was you - if not you, then thanks to whoever.

stormwolf on 18-04-2014
When I Am Gone
I agree with Pelequin πŸ˜‰
faultless.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks to you too Alison - chuffed !
Val :-)) x

Kipper on 18-04-2014
When I Am Gone
And I agree with them both!

Michael

Author's Reply:
And it's a ditto from me Michael - thank you muchly.
Three tens - its a hat trick ! Soooo delighted.
Val :-))

Mikeverdi on 18-04-2014
When I Am Gone
You can add my name to the list Val, that was so moving.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for another top rating. So pleased.
Val πŸ™‚

QBall on 19-04-2014
When I Am Gone
It made me think. Well done.
Eventually we all die and we wonder, where are we going? At my age I feel closer to the end than most.
Cheers!!!!!
Les Q.

Author's Reply:
Thank you also Les for commenting and for the very generous rating - I'm getting there myself too.
Val πŸ™‚

sweetwater on 19-04-2014
When I Am Gone
May I add my compliments to all those above, a truly great poem. Sue x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue - and again for the top rating. I'm being truly spoilt on this one, but am so pleased you all liked.
Val πŸ™‚ x

pommer on 19-04-2014
When I Am Gone
Truly great,made me think, especially now.Going through a difficult sad period in the family.Thank you, Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and for the great rating Peter. Sorry to learn of your difficulties - I am not sure in what way my poem could have helped, but if it has, then I am pleased. My very best wishes to you in your sadness, and I hope things get better for you.
Val xxx

ValDohren on 20-04-2014
When I Am Gone
Thank you to whoever for the nib. Delighted of course.
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

Jabberwocky on 20-04-2014
When I Am Gone
Wonderful. I have a long way to go before I start thinking about the end, I'm only at the start of my life but I still worry, I still have that fear - what's next?
Well deserved the nib.
Yours
Jabber

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Jabber, appreciate your comments.
Val πŸ™‚

Texasgreg on 20-04-2014
When I Am Gone
Yes, just for a little while...

Eloquently written with the smidgen of hope you leave them behind "in tact" and have done the things necessary to conjure a fond memory instead of regret that things should have been better.

Greg πŸ™‚

 photo Gunspincowboy.gif

Author's Reply:
Thank you Greg. Although this poem appears ostensibly about death, it can relate to any type of departure of course. Guess we would all like not to be completely forgotten.
Good to hear from you again.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 20-04-2014
When I Am Gone
Sad but delightful - of classic proportions. This piece will live longer than you, Val - well done......David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David, and for the great rating. Who will go first - me or the poem, intriguing !!
Val πŸ™‚ x

Pronto on 20-04-2014
When I Am Gone
Great verse and so well constructed. I know a brief thought in the minds of others is all that I may expect (Or deserve)
I enjoyed this very much.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pronto, and for the top rating - really chuffed. I am sure you deserve many good thoughts, and no doubt will get them. So pleased you enjoyed.
Val πŸ™‚


O Poetry (posted on: 14-04-14)
O poetry you fickle thing .....

O poetry, you fickle thing You bring both joy and suffering Though some may say that I am blessed You give me neither peace nor rest Each verse that in my mind is born If not quite right leaves me forlorn And so to ponder through the night If all the lines are 'loose' or 'tight' And will the meaning full connect A challenge to my intellect If not, then in the light of day Adverse critique shall come my way And furthermore each line should be Designed to work in harmony With words selected as to rhyme Along with rhythm beating time O poetry, you steal my mind To heed your call I am resigned Within your world obliged to dwell And spend my time bound by your spell
Archived comments for O Poetry
Pelequin23 on 14-04-2014
O Poetry
ahh the magic of poetry we are all victims of its seductive spell

Author's Reply:
Aren't we just, Pelequin - keep thinking I'll pack it in, but it just won't leave me alone ! Thanks for commenting and for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 14-04-2014
O Poetry
Well said Val, we are all in the grip of a harsh master/mistress. πŸ™‚
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Yes Mike, we are indeed. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Val πŸ™‚

sweetwater on 14-04-2014
O Poetry
Never knowing whether the world we inhabit is a dream or a nightmare, and those who are not with us do not understand. Your poem sums it all up brilliantly. Sue X.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Sue - it is certainly an obsession ! Thanks also for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚ x

pommer on 14-04-2014
O Poetry
Well thought out as usual.Yes poetry does somehow rule us.I wish you a very Happy Easter Val, Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Peter, and a Happy Easter to you also.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Bozzz on 14-04-2014
O Poetry
Hilaire Belloc said (approx) "nothing in this world is, in itself evil, just the misuse of it". That rules out half the problem - or does it? Yes, poetry is a mind drug, classification unknown. Also in its elements - the side effects like rhyme and rhythm ! Please do not send me to a recovery centre. You say it all with polish - comme d'habitude - French polish - sorry - Oops I am drugged still..... David

Author's Reply:
You're quite safe David, no rehab for you - not yet anyway. Thanks for commenting and for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 14-04-2014
O Poetry
Val,
If I didn't now better I would think you are teasing me!
Not a word out of place; what's not to love?
Michael


Author's Reply:
No teasing, promise Michael. Thanks for commenting and for the very very very generous rating - do I really deserve ?!
Val πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 14-04-2014
O Poetry
Thanks to whoever for the nib - chuffed !!
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

pdemitchell on 14-04-2014
O Poetry
No adverse critique for such a lint-fluffed amusing navel-gaze, Val.
Mitch ;oD

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mitch, but think I'll have to consult Freud now !
Val :-O

stormwolf on 15-04-2014
O Poetry
Well done!

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison.
Val πŸ™‚ x

QBall on 16-04-2014
O Poetry
Says it all! I am not into poetry except the odd ode and limerick, so I am not a judge of poetry, but I sense the meanings intended by poets. I think this is succinct, so my congratulations on your work.
Les Q.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Les, and for the generous rating - very much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Universe (posted on: 11-04-14)
Today I held a universe .....

Today I held a universe Within my palm confined It glittered in the shining sun A galaxy defined So tiny this phenomenon So tiny yet so vast Before my eyes I saw just how A universe is cast It was so beautiful to see Its parts less than their sum So large in its conception yet Atomic to become Today I held a universe Set there upon my hand It glittered in the shining sun - It was a grain of sand

Archived comments for Universe
stormwolf on 11-04-2014
Universe
Lovely, heartwarming...another I can see illustrated in a book πŸ˜‰
Alison x
Your work is always of the same standard so rating becomes a bit obsolete.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison - would love to pub a book, but its an expensive business !
Thanks also for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚ x

sweetwater on 11-04-2014
Universe
That was as always a brilliant and insightful write. I wondered all the way through what the end would be, did not forsee sand. πŸ™‚ Sue.x

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Sue, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Bozzz on 11-04-2014
Universe
Oh Val, at first I thought you had solved the universe big bag in parvo. Settled for silicon - prefer it between my toes. A neatness as usual from you. Thank you...David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David for reading and commenting, and for the rating. Sorry for the absence of a Big Bang !
Val πŸ™‚ x


Kipper on 11-04-2014
Universe
Hello Val,
Another beautifully crafted poem; what else do we expect from you? But unusually, indeed I think the first time, I have a little doubt. Oh dear, I hardly dare mention it. I refer to the reference to Tom Thumb, which I felt was not quite in keeping with the rest of the poem.
There, I've said it, so now I know I'm going to be banned from UKA but..
"What are you doing?"
"No, take your hands of me!"
"Help, I'm being dragged away."
"I only said....
"I'm sorry Val........
Ah well; still think you're great, Michael

Author's Reply:
You are absolutely right Michael - I hate that line, but struggled to find something that rhymed with sum, and worked. I have pondered long, and finally come up with a not so great alternative, but maybe a little better, and have amended accordingly. I am sure you will not be banned from UKA, more likely to be me ...... Thanks for commenting and for your very sound crit.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 12-04-2014
Universe
Val
Phew, that's a relief, but I do see the difficulty.
Thanks for taking my comment as it was intended, and I do think 'atomic' fits better with the theme of your poem.
Best regards
Michael

Author's Reply:

pdemitchell on 14-04-2014
Universe
Full of quark, up, strangeness, down, bottom and charm. mitch

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mitch, appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Memories (posted on: 07-04-14)
.......... πŸ™‚

Voices whisper through the ether All that's past, so long ago, Memories of distant places Some forgotten, some to know I recall those days of splendour When the world was deemed sublime When the cherry blossom lingered In my heart and fixed in time Love was young and life eternal Rich the wine from ag'ed vines Fresh the wind and sweet the honey Warm the sun that ever shines But through time such mem'ries languish Fading with the dying sun Many gone, no more to cherish, Past, forgotten, ever done Now the night grows darker, darker, Long the shadows cast below Cold the sun and deep the waters As through all the valleys flow Recollections there as phantoms Fixed within illusions' store All things lost and all things broken - Memories forevermore
Archived comments for Memories
Mikeverdi on 07-04-2014
Memories
Memories are always there Val, it's just that sometimes clouds get in the way πŸ™‚ Beautifully written as always.
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike. Too many clouds, it seems to me.
Val πŸ™‚ x

sweetwater on 07-04-2014
Memories
That is so beautiful, and so heartbreakingly sad. It sums up ones life perfectly.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue, and for the top rating - very much appreciated. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 07-04-2014
Memories
Another romantic tearbuster. Much needed Val because I often get dry eye. But seriously, a book is indicated. Your meter and rhyme are always immaculate, words too in this poem. Bravo....David

Author's Reply:
Many thanks David - hope your eyes are lubricated now, not too much though, tears of laughter are to be preferred.
All the best.
Val x

stormwolf on 07-04-2014
Memories
I second David!
Lovely and well written.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Alison, much appreciated.
Val x

Pelequin23 on 08-04-2014
Memories
romantic and heartfelt beautifully exicuted

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pelequin for commenting and for the top rating, I'm humbled. Was it you who nominated - if so, thank you so much.

QBall on 08-04-2014
Memories
Just a marvelous piece of work. Wonderfully crafted and I feel you are gifted.
Well done,
Les Q.

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much Les, I am delighted with such positive responses for this piece. And another 10 - wow !
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 09-04-2014
Memories
I know that 'free verse' is fashionable, but when presented with a poem with beautifully balanced lines and rhymes so fitting and unforced , and with a rhythm that makes you want to sing, why would you want it any other way?
You may have guessed that I like this.
Michael

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Michael. So pleased you liked, and very many thanks indeed for the top rating - absolutely chuffed !
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Jabberwocky on 10-04-2014
Memories
This is so peaceful, so serene. I realised I don't really have much to add, the others have said it all. Wonderful work, well done.
Jabber

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Jabber.
Val πŸ™‚

usutu on 10-04-2014
Memories
A good all-round read. Content served by structure.

Thanks,

U'sutu.

Author's Reply:
Thanks usutu, and for the top rating - wow !
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 10-04-2014
Memories
Agree with Michael. Free verse might be fashionable, but nothing can beat a wonderful piece of rhyming like this is. I have always liked your style.Another masterpiece,full of emotion. Thank you Val, Be lucky Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Peter for your very kind and valued comments. It is so encouraging to know that my somewhat old-fashioned style is both liked and appreciated by some. And another 10 - wow, and wow again ! Very chuffed.
Val πŸ™‚ xxx


Summertime, O Summertime (posted on: 04-04-14)
Just a little ditty about the summer

Beautiful the sunshine's glow On a gentle summer's day Bringing joy to every heart With all sadness chased away All the birds across the land Play in ever gay delight Flutt'ring through the leafy trees Singing sweet farewells to night Flowers bloom in full display O so beauteous to our eyes; Verdant fields spread far and wide - Cotton clouds in azure skies Noon-time shadows softly fade 'Neath the sun so high above; All earth's creatures dance and play Full embraced in nature's love Summertime, O summertime Splendid be your aspect fair Bearing gladness in your train - Joy to all who linger there
Archived comments for Summertime, O Summertime
sweetwater on 04-04-2014
Summertime, O Summertime
I enjoyed this poem very much, loved the 'cotton clouds in azure skies'. I don't feel it's my place to say- but I wasn't too sure about 'with all sadness chased away' it sounds a bit commonplace in an otherwise creative work. Sorry, please ignore If I offend. Sue.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Sue, and no offence taken at your crit. This is a fairly old write as I seem to have now depleted my pot of inspiration and am digging into the dregs of what is left. Not one my best, and undoubtedly falls short of a satisfactory write on my part. I shall consider the line you have pointed out to see if I I can improve on it.
Glad you enjoyed it though.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 05-04-2014
Summertime, O Summertime
I too enjoyed this lovely poem, but I agree with Sue concerning " with all sadness chased away"have tried to think of an alternative, but it is difficult.If I find one I shall let you know. No offence, Peter be lucky, xxx
How about "Chasing sad thoughts away?

Author's Reply:
Thanks Peter for commenting and rating. Still thinking about that line.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 06-04-2014
Summertime, O Summertime
Hi Val



One of your 'oldies' you say, and not one of your best. Well that's as maybe, but for me it was a pleasing reminder of an all too rare summer day, the like of which allways makes me feel better, and chases the sadness away. Or at least nudges it to one side.



My best to you and to Sue and Peter



Michael

Author's Reply:
Thank you Michael - today is just about as miserable as it can get here, so hope my little ditty will do the trick again.
Best wishes to you also.
Val πŸ™‚


To Joy (posted on: 28-03-14)
O come when I am sleeping .....

O come when I am sleeping And take me to your care For I am spent with weeping And yearn for regions fair Pray glance upon my sorrow Endow me with your grace Bring forth a new tomorrow Redeem my saddened face Then fly me to your arbour And hold me there awhile A calm and sheltered harbour Where I shall softly smile Where I may ever tarry Become again at peace Upon the wind to carry All heartache to release O walk into this sadness And take away the pain Enfold my heart in gladness That I should live again
Archived comments for To Joy
sweetwater on 28-03-2014
To Joy
This, for me was so good. It has an old fashioned courtly feel, and flowed beautifully, I especially loved the first two lines in the second verse.

Author's Reply:
Thank you sweetwater for reading and commenting, and also for the generous rating. So pleased you liked it.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 28-03-2014
To Joy
Hello Val,another wonderful poem from your pen.It expresses your feelings so well lie always,and it is a joy to read.Thank yu for sharing.Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Peter for your very kind comments, and also for the great rating - I'm definitely wowed !
Val πŸ™‚ xxx

jdm4454 on 28-03-2014
To Joy
I really liked it, Val. Poetics at its best--- you carried the rhyme scheme so well that it was unnoticeable...don't you love that when it happens? Thanks for the read..jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jim, and I'm wowed again with your very generous rating. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 28-03-2014
To Joy
Hi Val this has your smooth touch and subtle end rhymes that are a delight on the tongue. Quite sad but I enjoyed the spirited ending as i leaves us with a sense that the narrator is ready to fight. best Keith

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and commenting Keith, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 29-03-2014
To Joy
Metric perfection in simple lines as usual - make your gentle poetry easy reading. I feel distress at your pain but admire your tenacity. Hoping for the best for you...David

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting David. Keep well.
Val x

Mikeverdi on 31-03-2014
To Joy
Late to the verse this time, but better late than never. Beautifully written as always Val.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 07-04-2014
To Joy
Val,
You have a talent to find
Just the right words
Each line just the right rhythm
Each stanza just the right 'feel'
And each poem just the right length.
Where do you get this from please?
It certainly isn't Tesco.
Envious, Michael.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your very kind comments Michael. Waitrose do a nice line in rhymes - you have to pay a bit more, but worth it in the end !! Teehee.
Val πŸ™‚


A Poem Taking Flight (posted on: 24-03-14)
It drifted past my window .....

It drifted past my window As I gazed into the night It sparkled as a diamond - Just a poem taking flight It fluttered in the darkness And I saw it floating by With wings of brightest silver How it moved across the sky I thought upon the message That this poem might impart Of love, of hope, of freedom – Words to hold within my heart Such poems are eternal That shall move the soul to love - A gentle voice so tender That falls from heaven above

Archived comments for A Poem Taking Flight
Mikeverdi on 24-03-2014
A Poem Taking Flight
Ah ...there you go again, just beautiful Val; love reading your work.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 24-03-2014
A Poem Taking Flight
I can only repeat my earlier comments Val.

Michael

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Michael.
Val πŸ™‚


Soon There Will Be Roses (posted on: 24-03-14)
Soon there will be roses .....

Soon there will be roses Adorning gardens fair Soon there will be roses Their perfume everywhere Roses white and yellow Soft pink and crimson too Roses in the sunlight Bedecked with morning dew When I touch the roses Caress them tenderly If I feel them quiver I'll know you still love me Roses hold a secret A secret in my heart Roses are a symbol Of love to thus impart Soon there will be roses I wait for them to bloom - Roses sweet and fragrant Shall sanctify my room

Archived comments for Soon There Will Be Roses
Mikeverdi on 24-03-2014
Soon There Will Be Roses
Good to see you back again Val, there are always Roses in our house; even if only from Morrisons πŸ™‚
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike. Your house sounds wonderful.
Val πŸ™‚

sweetwater on 24-03-2014
Soon There Will Be Roses
A floral vision, lovely.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating sweetwater, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 24-03-2014
Soon There Will Be Roses
You never fail, so eloquent and beautifully presented. Roses everywhere, but mind the thorns.
Michael

Author's Reply:
Thanks Michael, so kind of you - and yes, I know all about those thorns !
Val πŸ™‚


I Wrote A Poem (posted on: 07-03-14)
I wrote a poem .....

I wrote a poem a simple poem from a simple mind - it languished in obscurity and then I dared to set it free though 'twas not well designed. (Through the ether then it fluttered 'Off it goes' I glibly muttered). I wrote a poem a simple poem from a simple mind – I should have thought it better kept this poem written so inept but I was sadly blind. (How will my poem be received, hopeful, but yet self-deceived). I wrote a poem a simple poem from a shattered heart and though it was a simple theme it was the one and only dream I wished then to impart. (Will my poem be understood and will 'they' think it bad or good). I wrote a poem a simple poem writ' through tearful eyes - it fell upon a stony ground lay writhing, turning round and round, not ever set to rise. (It seems it did not make the grade as on the ground it still is laid). I wrote a poem a simple poem from a simple mind – I guess it was a big faux pas and as it was my coup de grace it's to the bin consigned ….. oh yes, it's to the bin consigned !

Archived comments for I Wrote A Poem
sweetwater on 07-03-2014
I Wote A Poem
Very clever, kept me reading and enjoying till the end. Retrieve from bin!

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating sweetwater, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 07-03-2014
I Wote A Poem
Enjoyed this, Val.

(there's a typo on the title)

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea, and for pointing out the typo which I have now corrected.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 07-03-2014
I Wrote A Poem
Much enjoyed Val, Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Peter for commenting and rating. A silly poem really, but if you enjoyed, then I'm happy.
Val πŸ™‚ xx


MrMarmite on 07-03-2014
I Wrote A Poem
So glad you pulled it out of the bin Val what a waste of a clever poem lying there hidden away.My paper bin gets full to the top some days,but that's writing for you, lots of is it good enough to send ?The day us writers stop getting doubts is probably the day we should pack it in !

Author's Reply:
Thanks Kevin, and for the generous rating. I doubt my stuff constantly, to the point of almost giving it up, but it"s addictive and difficult to stop.
Val πŸ™‚

jdm4454 on 12-03-2014
I Wrote A Poem
It was fun to read....thanks for posting. jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Jim, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Impressions (posted on: 07-03-14)
'All the world's a stage' .....

Ripples in the water Teardrops in the snow Footprints in the golden sand Paintings by Van Gogh Rain upon the window Colours in the sky Phantoms drifting through the night Eagles as they fly Music by Debussy Hands that mould pink clay Dreams that float like thistledown Through the fleeting day Stars set in the night sky Asterisks of time Shadows falling on the hills Fossils in the slime Poetry by Rimbaud Words upon the page Actors playing out their parts 'All the world's a stage' …..

Archived comments for Impressions
Mikeverdi on 07-03-2014
Impressions
I like this a lot Val, truly well done.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the generous rating. Once again, thank you for your continued support.
Val πŸ™‚ x

sweetwater on 07-03-2014
Impressions
Thats lovely, the words glide along the page.

Author's Reply:
Thank you sweetwater, for your very kind comment.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 07-03-2014
Impressions
Living in Dorset I am with you and the fossils in the slime - Chideock near S'Lyme Regis perhaps? You move easily across the frontiers of style - clever Val. ...XXX David









Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating David. Never been to Slyme Rsgis !!
Val πŸ™‚ xx

jdm4454 on 07-03-2014
Impressions
-gfp- the rhymes are so easy one hardly notices them at all except to keep the rhythm---really good! jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jim, and for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Nemo on 08-03-2014
Impressions
An agreeable sequence of images but why Rimbaud? Much of his poetry is expressly unpleasant, I think.
Gerald

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Gerald. I Googled impressionist poets and Rimbaud came up under this umbrella. I agree, his stuff is expressly unpleasant.
Val

Pinkmoon on 09-03-2014
Impressions
Really loved this, it flowed beautifully :0)

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Pinkmoon, so pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

pdemitchell on 09-03-2014
Impressions
Nice ode Val - it could even be sung by Julie Andrews with this flow and meter - "these are a few of my favourite things" - with that scally Rimbaud collecting a bullet from Verlaine to tail the piece. Mitch πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Or maybe you could sing it Mitch, I'm sure you could do it justice - thanks for commenting.
Val :-O


Broken Heart (posted on: 03-03-14)
A Sonnet .....

I found a broken heart the other day So torn it was, it took my breath away The noise it made was palest ever pink It's beating just as but the weakest blink I wondered who once owned this precious thing Was it by pauper, poet, or by King - No matter, for it's all the same I deem Whoever that poor owner might have been For poverty or wealth bears no effect Upon this broken heart with its defect - A heart is still a heart, it must be said With care and tender love it should be fed I rescued it and held it to my breast That it may lie content and be at rest
Archived comments for Broken Heart
deadpoet on 03-03-2014
Broken Heart
Marvellous Val- so touching. My heart melted.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Pia, and also for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

pommer on 03-03-2014
Broken Heart
A wonderful well written sonnet. It touched me as is usual with some of your poems. Well done Val,be lucky, Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Peter, and again for the generous rating. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Tasha-ann on 04-03-2014
Broken Heart
I like this. πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Tasha-Ann, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 05-03-2014
Broken Heart
You have made sonnets your speciality, Val, and you have to be congratulated on this inspired verse.


Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Luigi. Just get short of ideas sometimes - sonnets are a good fall-back !
Val πŸ™‚ x

jdm4454 on 05-03-2014
Broken Heart
This is great...I have so much respect for poets who can actually fit their thoughts within a Shakesperian scheme....all applause....jim

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Jim, appreciate your kind comments.
Val πŸ™‚


Nosey Neighbour (posted on: 28-02-14)
And now for something completely different ........

Come here, oh my darling, please come walk this way, I heard your poor mother sat crying today - These walls, being ever so thin, that I fear, They make it too easy for someone to hear. She whispered so softly in her solitude - Oh please do not think, dear, that I'm being rude, Speaking of how she had burnt all his cakes, And also of other such foolish mistakes. Of how all the jars were not set in a row, Was so sad to hear her my dear, don't you know, With things that your father just can't understand - He'd slapped her so hard with the back of his hand. And oh how she whimpered, sat there all alone, I think she was speaking at length on the phone - Talking to someone I guessed was a mate, Saying how love could turn quickly to hate. Your father, he has a short temper, it seems, And last night I swear that I heard dreadful screams - Was while you were out at the movies, I think, He'd been to the pub and had too much to drink. He drinks lots of beer, and malt whisky as well, She said how her life is like being in hell. Come closer and listen to all that I heard, I promise I'll try to recall every word. She said she intended to purchase a knife, The type that is suited for ending a life - I'm not sure whose life she was plotting to end She spoke oh so soft on the phone to her friend. This morning I saw her with tears in her eyes - She hailed for a taxi – I heard her loud cries, And when she returned, she quickly looked round, Going inside without making a sound. Your dad, he came home at his usual time, Not knowing your mother would do such a crime – The noises I heard, how they filled me with fear, I really did hear them, I promise my dear. Oh come here, my darling, please don't go inside I heard you poor mother - and oh how she cried …….
Archived comments for Nosey Neighbour
Elfstone on 28-02-2014
Nosey Neighbour
This is very good - a caustic comment coated in sugar. You've presented a microcosm of our society here Val. Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Elfstone. A scenario which occurs all too often I think.
Val :-O

Bozzz on 28-02-2014
Nosey Neighbour
We all think it could never happen to us. I am old enough to know first hand that old people get less tolerant with each other! Situation very well-portrayed Val. Thank you for posting on a difficult subject...David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David, and for the generous rating. Not just old people either David.
Val πŸ™‚


Dancing With The Daffodils (posted on: 28-02-14)
I'm dancing with the Daffodils .....

I'm dancing with the Daffodils In Spring-time's warm embrace - With golden hearts and coronets They're swaying with such grace Together waltzing in the sun A wonderful display Upon a ballroom trimmed with green On this, a lovely day Such beauty thus besets my heart And fills me with delight - I'm dancing with the Daffodils Of yellow, gold and white Their perfume drifting soft and sweet Across the verdant land - I long to pluck them from the earth To hold them in my hand I wonder if they see me here Amidst their glowing throng - I'm dancing with the Daffodils And singing all day long
Archived comments for Dancing With The Daffodils
Elfstone on 28-02-2014
Dancing With The Daffodils
You've obviously been wandering lonely as a cloud somewhere ;-). This is lovely. Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Only in my mind Elfstone - thanks for commenting. Pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

jdm4454 on 28-02-2014
Dancing With The Daffodils
What a refreshing visit to "Pleasantville" ....... love the imagery conjured up by your words...thanks for the trip---jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jum, glad you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

Leila on 28-02-2014
Dancing With The Daffodils
A poem of joy, nicely done...Leila

Author's Reply:
Thanks Leila, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 02-03-2014
Dancing With The Daffodils
A ray of optimism, Val, nice to see.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Luigi.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Mikeverdi on 03-03-2014
Dancing With The Daffodils
My wife Lesley's favorite flowers, I have them in every room at the moment, Bluebells and Primroses next, the woods near us will be full of them; nice thoughts Val. Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Your home sounds beautiful Mike, to be so adorned with flowers. Thanks for your comments.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

deadpoet on 03-03-2014
Dancing With The Daffodils
Very uplifting- the daffodils certainly can spread some joy while waiting for warmer and sunnier days..like your poem does..

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pia. Yellow is my favourite colour, so Daffodils are particularly inspiring.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Kat on 04-03-2014
Dancing With The Daffodils
Just beautiful and a lovely, jaunty rhythm. I want to dance and I feel very happy now!

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Kat. Lovely to know that my little ditty has made you feel happy - can't ask for more than that.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Pinkmoon on 09-03-2014
Dancing With The Daffodils
Such a joy to read, thanks for sharing :0)

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pinkmoon - Spring is here !
Val πŸ™‚


Summer Comes (posted on: 24-02-14)
Free verse .....

Summer comes splendid in its coming - bringing to maturity the promises of Spring. Summer comes with the aching wantonness of fertility and fulfilment the ripening of moist fruit soon to harvest and the pregnancy of virgin soil. Summer comes - eager to bring forth new life. When Mars conjoins with Venus ….. Summer comes.

Archived comments for Summer Comes
chant_z on 24-02-2014
Summer Comes
Simplicity that works wonders. Very nice!

Author's Reply:
Sorry chant-z for late response, thought I had replied. Thank you for commenting, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

sweetwater on 07-04-2014
Summer Comes
I loved this, tripped over the line spacings a little. But the poem itself is absolutly bursting with fecundity. Brilliant. πŸ™‚ Sue.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sue, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚


Who Will Stand Beside Me (posted on: 24-02-14)
Who will stand beside me .....

Who will stand beside me When my life is done - There to watch me slip away Just like the fading sun. And who will hold my hand At my final breath - Who will say a last goodbye When I am close to death. Shall you see me weeping Wipe away my tears - Gently soothe my fevered brow Dissolving all my fears. Watching as I falter When my time is due - Softly whisp'ring through the night A tender 'I love you.' As I lay there dying Will you speak my name - Shall I see you by my side Once more with me again. And shall you look upon me, See my spirit soar - Reaching out with open arms To hold me then once more. When my heart stops beating, When I close my eyes - Shall you gently carry me With you to Paradise. In that final moment, Touching the unknown - O shall you stand beside me So I am not alone.
Archived comments for Who Will Stand Beside Me
franciman on 24-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
I like this Val.
I particularly like the suggestion from the writer, that they know death to be just one more step on the path. I don't believe man, the animal, could write lyrical verse unless he was more than the sum of his parts.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Jim, much appreciated as always. Although many of my poems suggest a belief in an afterlife, this is not the case as I believe that death is final and there is nothing thereafter. Any paths we are compelled to follow are those set before us during our life. But yes, I guess we are greater than the sum of our parts inasmuch as we are thinking, feeling, and creative beings. I am pleased you liked this poem, but I need to move on from my loss now and start writing on other topics, if I can.
Best wishes.
Val

Leila on 24-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
A gentle poem, nicely rhymed, I wonder if
Shall
you see me weeping
Wipe away my tears -
might be changed to should? Just a thought...Leila


Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Leila, much appreciated. Not sure about the 'should' v 'shall' - I think it should remain as it is from a grammatical point of view, but it would be interesting to know what others might think, if they care to comment.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 24-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
shall you gently carry me
with you to paradise.
What a beautiful thought.A lovely thought provoking poem Val.
Take car, Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading, commenting and rating Peter, so pleased you liked. Paradise is indeed a lovely concept, but a concept only I fear - still, we can but dream, and write poems about it of course.
Thank you also for your well wishes, you are very kind.
Best from me
Val πŸ™‚ xxx


ifyouplease on 24-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
very nice, and excellent flow

Author's Reply:
Thank you ifyouplease for commenting and for the generous rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

chant_z on 24-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
Soft, gentle wording. Wonderful flow!!

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting chant_z, much appreciated.
Val :-).

Texasgreg on 25-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
Aye, Val!
Though we must leave alone the same way we come in, it's a comfort to know that someone will be holding our hand. Super poem for hospice workers.

Greg πŸ™‚
 photo Gunspincowboy.gif


Author's Reply:
Thanks For commenting Greg - lovely of you to look in again, good to hear from you.
Val πŸ™‚

MrMarmite on 25-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
A beautiful poem Val as usual and I think it doesn't need any change to it at all.As for life after death when I'm asked on this question all I say is we're all going to find out one day aren't we ?I want and hope to be reunited with my parents and baby son,and as I do believe in God I have to leave it up to him,but until then I just have to struggle along down here and see what happens when my times up.You seem to be coping well Val and hope you get stronger as time moves on.All the best,your friend Kevin.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Kevin, and for the generous rating. Just because I don't personally believe in an afterlife doesn't of course mean that I am right - I would like to be proven wrong, but as you say, we shall just have to wait and see. I am coping in many ways, but emotionally it is very hard, as you will know yourself along with many others. Only time will tell I guess. Thanks again for looking in.
All the best to you.
Val

stormwolf on 25-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
Hi Val.
I am risking irritation when I am totally honest here...;-(

I feel that as you have so often said you do not believe in any after-life or greater power, then this poem comes over as a trifle inauthentic for me. Sorry πŸ™
I take into account poetic licence and also that if it was published in a book, then the reader would simply accept it as it comes across.
However, to those of us who have a very strong belief to read a poem like this, then have the author saying they do not believe in what they have written...well, it then lacks power for me.
I am not wanting to offend in any way. I hope you can see that but I do feel that it's worth mentioning.
Other than that personal assessment, it's a lovely poem πŸ˜‰
Alison xx


Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Alison, and I am pleased you liked the poem at least on face value. No offence taken from what you say, but the poem is not actually about an afterlife, it is simply about being alone at one's own demise when your partner has gone before you. The whole poem is written as a question and not an acknowledgement of actual belief. I know you yourself are a believer, and I respect you for that - we are all entitled to believe in our own way. I have given these issues a great deal of thought through my life, and this is the conclusion I have arrived at. But I am open to be proved wrong if anyone can convince me otherwise. I do tend to see things from a psychological perspective rather than relating to religious belief systems.
Thank you for looking in again and taking the time to read and comment, which I very much appreciate, and please be assured that you have not caused any 'irritation.'
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Nemo on 25-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
Hmm, I think the poem deserves to liked at face value. It's what drives you to write the poem that counts. Speaking grammatically and not wishing to cause offence, 'shall' is meant to be used with the first person in the simple future, and 'will' with the the second and third persons. Reversal of these is for emphasis. Compare the difference in meaning of "I shall drown and nobody will save me." with "I will drown and nobody shall save me."
Gerald

Author's Reply:
Oh dear, now I'm completely perplexed - shall, should, will ? I need to go back to school I think, Ha ! Thanks for commenting Gerald, and I shall ponder over your lesson in grammar.
Val πŸ™‚

jdm4454 on 25-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
This is such a well written poem. The rhymes just roll along with seemingly no effort. Me, I just don't want to die in my sleep.......I want to be fully awake and cognizant when death comes for me. I want to hear my own last breath and see what happens. It would be nice to have someone see me off, but not necessary.
thanks for the read...jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jim. I am given to understand that 'hearing' is the last of the senses to be lost during the dying process, so maybe you will get to hear your last breath - not yet though, I hope ! All the best.
Val

Mikeverdi on 26-02-2014
Who Will Stand Beside Me
I have taken a while to comment on this one Val, although I have read it several times. I hope as you do, that this will mark a turning point in you're acceptance of 'you have to move on' I have followed you're writing since you came to this site, whatever the subject you have never disappointed. This is a wonderful piece to enjoy for what it is; regardless of belief. I sat and talked with my mother-in-law as she was dieing, hoping I was giving her comfort; I think it's all we can hope for.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Yes, it is all we can hope for Mike. Thank you commenting, and indeed for all your comments and support during my time here on UKA. 'Acceptance' is a long way off for me yet, regardless of what others may say or think, but I shall endeavour to avoid writing on the subject again, and shall 'move on' in that respect. Keep well and happy.
Val


Too Much To Drink (posted on: 21-02-14)
I've had too much to drink tonight .....

I've had too much to drink tonight I'm feeling rather funny A glass of wine, a tot of Port And Whisky mixed with honey I thought that it would be okay To take a little Brandy But one small drink turned into two And now I'm feeling randy And then I took a swig of beer To finish off my boozing I know that was a big mistake For now I feel like snoozing To wake me up I feel I need A mug of real black coffee But being drunk and quite confused It's turned out like thick toffee So what the heck, I think I'll try A schooner of that Sherry The Vodka also looks quite nice And now I'm feeling merry I've had too much to drink tonight I need the bathroom quickly Its all gone to my silly head I'm feeling rather sickly And when the morning comes around My head will feel quite tender I know that I will so regret I went on such a bender The moral of this little tale I hope will be explicit It's not a good idea to drink Beyond one's limit – IS IT !!
Archived comments for Too Much To Drink
Elfstone on 21-02-2014
Too Much To Drink
Well! I grinned all the way through this - not at all the image I have of you(!) but beautifully written as always. (Minor detail - should it not be "It's" in the 5th stanza?) Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Elfstone, and I have made that change. Pleased you got a smile out of it - thought I should show my lighter side for a change ! I'm not really a boozer, just one or two now and again.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 21-02-2014
Too Much To Drink
Well written.I know the feeling.Don't overdue it. Peter xx

Author's Reply:
No, I never do - learnt the hard way in my youth ! Do enjoy the occasional tipple though. Thanks for reading and commenting Peter.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

stormwolf on 22-02-2014
Too Much To Drink
An enjoyable piece of humorous verse. I am sure nobody would take you for a hardened boozer Val.

Reminds me of a little ditty that I totally agree with

'There are many good reasons for drinking
and one has just entered my head
If a fellow can't drink when he's living,
how the hell can he drink when he's dead?'

AMEN to that! 'sic'

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Well, I'm not a hardened drinker Alison - the poem is just a poem and does not reflect reality. I do enjoy the occasional tipple though, and with three bottles of single malt in the cupboard, bought during our visits to Scotland and various distilleries, I now have to drink them myself !! Thanks for your comments, and I love the little ditty, and as I am not dead yet, guess I had better get on with it.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Ionicus on 23-02-2014
Too Much To Drink
I found it very merry, Val, and not a drop of sherry has passed my mouth. Very entertaining.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Luigi - bottoms up !!
Val πŸ™‚

QBall on 27-03-2014
Too Much To Drink
Hi,
Poem hits the spot, but single malt in this household will disappear quickly. As a diabetic I limit my intake to once a week, even so, it is a full dram.
Enjoyed it as it is my style.
Les

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Les, much appreciated. So pleased you employed my little bit of flippancy.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


Before The Storm (posted on: 21-02-14)
................ πŸ™

Before the storm the sky was blue, As blue as blue can be - The air was sweet, so sweet to breathe, And you were next to me. We saw the flowers bloom in Spring And watched the songbirds nest - The world was full of wonderment As fondly we caressed. And all around the sun shone bright, The trees did softly sway Touched by a gentle summer breeze That chased our cares away. But then the sky grew overcast And rain-clouds gathered high - A darkness fell upon the land To shadow you and I. The rain fell down upon our joy To drown the life we knew - It drenched our hearts, subdued our souls, Destroying me and you. For now you're gone, and I am here Beneath a shadowed sky - The storm has passed, but I am left Forever here to cry.
Archived comments for Before The Storm
stormwolf on 21-02-2014
Before The Storm
Beautifully sad Val

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison.
Val x

Elfstone on 21-02-2014
Before The Storm
I remember the Queen saying (after the Twin Towers thing I think) that grief is the price we pay for love. You seem to be expressing the same idea. Very poignant. Elfstone

Author's Reply:
Thank you Elfstone.
Val x

pommer on 21-02-2014
Before The Storm
Avery sad poem,touching the strings of my heart.Our thoughts are with you.Remember,love survives everything.
Best wishes Peter.xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Peter. Hopefully this frame of mind will lift soon, but the poems keep coming I'm afraid. I have one more sad one to post, then I will do my best to lift the mood.
Best wishes.
Val :-O xx

ruadh on 21-02-2014
Before The Storm
Sad but beautiful.

Author's Reply:
Thanks ruadh, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Nemo on 22-02-2014
Before The Storm
Skillfully constructed and very moving,Val. Sometimes our best writing comes out of our most difficult times.
Gerald

Author's Reply:
Thank you Gerald, appreciate your comments.
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 23-02-2014
Before The Storm
Good imagery and metaphors expressing one's sorrow for the loss of a beloved one. Well written.

Luigi

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Luigi, very much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 24-02-2014
Before The Storm
I have always thought that writing is the best way to express grief, to unburden. As one who knows grief, I find that reading others words on the subject helps me understand mine. I hope this is true for you as well Val.
Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike. Yes, it is always therapeutic to read other people's feelings, it shows that we all feel in the same way and therefore are linked together in this dimension. Thanks also for the generous rating, much appreciated.
Val x


Sometimes When I'm Dreaming (posted on: 17-02-14)
............ πŸ˜‰

Sometimes, when I'm dreaming, I feel you by my side In the moonlight gleaming, And when the sun has died. I can hear you breathing, Behold your gentle smile. Know when you are leaving, Then pray you'll stay awhile. For when you are near me The world's a sweeter place - As I love you dearly, Beyond all time and space. And when I am dreaming Your hand entwines with mine - Ah, when I am dreaming, The world is so divine.

Archived comments for Sometimes When I'm Dreaming
Elfstone on 17-02-2014
Sometimes When Im Dreaming
Gentle, sweet and beautifully constructed. Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Elfstone, appreciate your comments.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 17-02-2014
Sometimes When Im Dreaming
Lovely in its simplicity and deeper message

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison, appreciated as always.
Val πŸ™‚ x

pommer on 17-02-2014
Sometimes When Im Dreaming
Another wonderful meaningful poem from your pen,Valerie,I have one comment, the line as "I love you truly"in the third verse,I would have written "As I love you dearly" to rhyme with the first line.I hope you don't mind, it is just me.Peter

Author's Reply:
Thank you Peter. I had trouble with that line, and 'truly' was my best attempt at rhyming with 'me', but you have cracked it for me - so much better, and I have amended accordingly. Thank you again, and also for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚

sweetwater on 07-04-2014
Sometimes When Im Dreaming
Lovely, heartfelt 'soft' poem, may I just say the line as mentioned by Peter, I re read it and substituted 'truly' and I think that worked better, truly is a softer word than dearly. I have trouble with the last line devine dosen't seem to fit in with the top quality of the rest of the poem. I hope I haven't offended or annoyed by my comments. πŸ™‚ Sue.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Sue. I used the word 'truly' in my original write and then changed it to 'dearly' as suggested. Now I am perplexed ! As for 'divine', would 'sublime' be better ? It's all very subjective at the end of the day, and opinions vary.
Val πŸ™‚


The Eyes of Love (posted on: 10-02-14)
Beware .....

Look deep into the eyes of love They glisten soft and true - I looked into the eyes of love When first I looked at you I saw a gleam of tenderness A heart so full of care - Such sweet enchantment captured me That naught else could compare Within their depths I yearned to fall Bewitched yet by their spell - The eyes of love to carry me To lands where angels dwell And in that moment wonderful That moment fixed in time I never shall forget those eyes Beguiling and sublime I looked into the eyes of love To see what they revealed - The truth, the truth is there, my friend, It shall not be concealed So if you would deny the truth And live a life of lies Beware to take a single glance - Don't look into those eyes
Archived comments for The Eyes of Love
Mikeverdi on 10-02-2014
The Eyes of Love
Ah, all is well in the world this morning, I've had my pick me up for the day; thanks for posting again Val. Another beautiful poem. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike. I'm delighted all is well with you today - may all your days be good ones. Thanks also for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚ x

pommer on 10-02-2014
The Eyes of Love
What beautiful words,Val,well composed as usual.Peter

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Peter for both commenting and rating. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Ionicus on 11-02-2014
The Eyes of Love
I so much concur with the sentiments expressed by the others, Val. A lovely poem.
Luigi


Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi, and also for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 13-02-2014
The Eyes of Love
Ah yes, the eyes of love. Many people have come to grief through them alright. lovely as always.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Alison.
Val πŸ™‚ x


At The River's Edge (posted on: 31-01-14)
A journey into the collective unconscious .....

At the river's edge I'm dreaming Fixed in silent reverie Gazing into crystal waters Rippling out to capture me Shall I walk into its shallows Slip into its icy deeps Feel it lapping all around me Linger where Poseidon sleeps Deeper, deeper thus immersing Into regions yet unknown Where the river meets the ocean Where all fantasies are sewn I am falling, falling, falling Further into time long past Touching ancient worlds of wonder Where all memories are cast Let me carry you there with me Drifting 'cross the bridge of time Soul by soul traverse together Back to Eden so sublime
Archived comments for At The River's Edge
Mikeverdi on 31-01-2014
At The Rivers Edge
Well you took me with you Val, another terrific poem from you.
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the rating
Val πŸ™‚

Elfstone on 31-01-2014
At The Rivers Edge
To begin with I thought you were speaking of the Styx, but perhaps not ... An Intriguing poem. Elfstone.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Elfstone - maybe the Styx is not too far off the mark.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 01-02-2014
At The Rivers Edge
Funny how looking into clear shallow water brings a thousand different dreams - the flow is mesmerizing. Tell you why - for in such surroundings amoeba and paramoecium were born - our early ancestors - bless 'em. We come home,. so to speak.
Lovely poem Val...XXX David

Author's Reply:
We do indeed David - thank you for commenting and rating.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 01-02-2014
At The Rivers Edge
Another one of your wonderful poems,Val,I could imagine being there.Peter.xx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Peter for commenting and rating. So kind.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 01-02-2014
At The Rivers Edge
I know I am like a repeating record but I can see your work published with an illustration on the opposite page. I feel it would sell as your work is engaging and the attention to detail makes your poems very readable.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison. Would love to publish in the way you suggest, but just another dream .......
Val πŸ™‚

amman on 02-02-2014
At The Rivers Edge
Lovely work, Val. I particularly like the illusion of falling in 'I am falling, falling, falling'; very clever.
Cheers.
Tony.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tony, glad you liked. Thanks also for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 02-02-2014
At The Rivers Edge
Slip into its icy deeps, I got lost in this line and drifted away on thought of my own, I love it when that happens πŸ™‚ a great poem thanks Keith

Author's Reply:
Thank you Keith - so pleased you liked. It's always good to know when one's work has some kind of impact on the reader. Thanks also for the generous rating, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

MrMarmite on 03-02-2014
At The Rivers Edge
As someone who has read many of your poems Val I never get tired of your poetry as you have the gift of creating beautiful verse and you take the reader on a magical trip.
I echo Alison's comment as your work should be out there.
What a gift !

Author's Reply:
Thank you MrM for your lovely comments, you are very kind, and I am humbled indeed.
Thank you also for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚


It Matters Not (posted on: 27-01-14)
............. πŸ˜‰

It matters not how moves the world Since you have gone away For turning, as it turning does, Turns not my night to day. The sun may shine, the moon may glow, Each in their due return It makes no difference to my eyes If each should glow or burn. The world may spin around its tilt Or orbit through its space It matters not, for I am lost Without your warm embrace. May all the stars forever shine The universe expand It matters not how moves the world If I can't hold your hand.
Archived comments for It Matters Not
amman on 27-01-2014
It Matters Not
So sad, Val but beautifully written. Quite charming.
Regards.
Tony.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Tony, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 27-01-2014
It Matters Not
I second Tony
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you also Alison - ditto.
Val :-). xx

Mikeverdi on 27-01-2014
It Matters Not
Not a lot to add to the others comments, just beautifully sad Val; as it must be. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

pommer on 27-01-2014
It Matters Not
So beautiful Val.It moves my soul. Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Peter, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Bozzz on 27-01-2014
It Matters Not
Sad, yes, but personally this sort of poem is what I like to see from you - concise verse with density in the lines - pith and feeling in spades - a very good one Val. Yours aye, David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David, and for the rating. Guess this sad stuff is my way of working through the grief, and will pass eventually. I don't mean to be boring, it just takes time. Need to take some happy pills I think !!
Val πŸ™‚ x

Ionicus on 28-01-2014
It Matters Not
As you rightly say, Val, it takes time to let go of the sadness that happy memories engender but expressing one's feelings can still be comforting and lessen the distress.
A good and clearly expressed composition.

Best, Luigi

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Luigi, and for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚


This Melody (posted on: 27-01-14)
Ah, lets make sweet music .....

What is this song, this melody, Which moves me so with tears - Such gentle words, a sweet refrain, To soothe away all fears. It stirs me deep, and fills my soul With tenderness and love - Such music surely fell to earth From starlit skies above. Perhaps I've heard this lovely song Before, in some past life – As rendered when the world was new And free from mortal strife. Or as a lay the angels sang When beauty was designed – And thus to issue from their lips When love was first divined. Such harmony and cadences I've never heard before - I deem these sounds ethereal Escaped through heav'ns door. And as I listen with closed eyes I hear it in my soul – A gentle song, a tender song Which I shall e'er extol. The words and tones so beautiful That I could not forget - Such music that inspires me so, Within my mind is set. This melody, this lovely song, This splendid work of art - I pray will ever linger on Forever in my heart.
Archived comments for This Melody
Mikeverdi on 27-01-2014
This Melody
You do these poems so well Val, I always feel somehow better after reading you're work. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, pleased my poems have a positive affect on you.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

EmotiveSoul on 27-01-2014
This Melody
Beautifully written Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting ES, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 27-01-2014
This Melody
As always. another wonderful emotional creation Val.Thank you for sharing.Peter xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Peter, and for the rating. Pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚ xx


Secrets (posted on: 24-01-14)
.................. πŸ™‚

Keep them safely, guard like gold All those secrets ever told - Secrets whispered long ago Only you and I can know. Secret loves and secret woes Carried on the wind that blows - Confidences to my ears Hopes and wishes, dreams, and fears, Stories every heart can tell (Keep those secrets, guard them well) - They who told them now are gone Though their mem'ry lingers on. Of those tales I'll never speak Even though my tongue is weak - Hidden there inside my mind No-one else shall ever find. Each who spoke them trusted me Not to ever set them free - You, my conscience, silent stay Keep those secrets every day.
Archived comments for Secrets

No comments archives found!
Each Day (posted on: 24-01-14)
............. πŸ™‚

Each day I watch the rising sun Each night, the glowing moon All time lays heavy on my mind For you are gone too soon, too soon, For you are gone too soon. I count the days that pass on by Which mark the changing time But yet I cling to memories Which tell me you were mine, were mine, Which tell me you were mine. It hurts to think that you are gone When you were ever near And now the world has lost its charm - I loved you so my dear, my dear, I loved you so, my dear. Your name will rest upon my lips For all my lifelong days And I will hold your pictured face As in your eyes I gaze, I gaze, As in your eyes I gaze. Remember me, remember me If e'er your soul can know - Down here beneath the shattered sky I shall not let you go, oh no, I shall not let you go.

Archived comments for Each Day
Elfstone on 24-01-2014
Each Day
Gosh - if I could write poetry as good as this I'd die a happy woman! This is beautiful; it reads like a Border Ballad of old. Perfect rhythm and rhyme and full of poignancy. Elfstone

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Elfstone, pleased you liked it so much.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 24-01-2014
Each Day
Just beautiful Val, congrats on the well deserved Nib. Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Nemo on 24-01-2014
Each Day
Deeply affecting sorrow, so elegantly penned, Val. Congratulations on the nib. Regards, Gerald.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Gerald, appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 24-01-2014
Each Day
Beautifully profound Val. You have managed to transmit the feeling with taste and undisguised love and yearning.
The repetition adds so much and it could well be song lyrics as well. Well done.
Happy to nominate it.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comments Alison, and for the top rating. Much appreciated. Thank you so much also for the nom, I am honoured indeed.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

ValDohren on 24-01-2014
Each Day
Thank you Andrea (?) for the nib. Much obliged.
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

pommer on 24-01-2014
Each Day
Your thoughts so beautifully expressed.This is perfect.Pommer xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer, appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚ xx
Thanks also for the top rating, you are too kind.

e-griff on 24-01-2014
Each Day
An excellent piece, well thought out.

Author's Reply:
Thanks to you for your comments also e-griff.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 25-01-2014
Each Day
Polish and elegance - qualities that always seem to flow easily from your pen. Sensitivity, immaculate construction rhythm and rhyme - all come as a complete package in this one...Bravo Val....XXX ...David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David - you are so complimentary, much appreciated, as is the ten rating.
Val πŸ™‚ xxx

DevilHippy on 26-01-2014
Each Day
Warm, dark, powerful and yet so simple. Loved it πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating, much appreciated
Best wishes
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 26-01-2014
Each Day
A well crafted plaintive poem, Val. Congratulations on the nib.

Author's Reply:


All That's Measured (posted on: 20-01-14)
A poem about contentment ...

Let go of all that binds your heart Unveil your eyes from clouded sight Release your mind from tethered thoughts Then fly in freedom through the night Be least content with more than less Desiring nought that can't be met Don't strive beyond horizons far Seek not for all you cannot get Do not aspire beyond your world Hold not such dreams that cannot be Nor hope that's fixed in hopelessness Be now content and ever free When in your eyes there's beauty fixed And in your hand a treasure clasped Then look no further for reward As all that's measured you have grasped

Archived comments for All That's Measured
Mikeverdi on 20-01-2014
All Thats Measured
Beautiful words Val, good to see you writing again; I've missed you. Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the generous rating. Writing doesn't come easily these days, and there is still so much for me to do. Concrats on being featured member. Hope you are doing well.
Val xxx πŸ™‚

Elfstone on 20-01-2014
All Thats Measured
Ah I wish it was that easy! I admire this - the skill in the writing - I just don't agree with it; a very confusing response. :-/ Elfstone

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Elfstone, much appreciated. It's just about being realistic really and not aiming too high which can often lead to disappointment and discontent.
Val πŸ™‚

Nemo on 20-01-2014
All Thats Measured
I admire the construction and sagesse that have gone into this, Val. I couldn't do 'contentment' myself. Regards, Gerald.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Gerald, and for the great rating. Guess not many of us are content, sadly, least of all myself. But I have learnt not to aim too high - despite my fantasy-style poems, my feet are firmly on the ground.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 20-01-2014
All Thats Measured
A wonderful construction Val.Lovely to see you back again.Like Mike I missed your writing.Hope you keep well,Pommer/Peter.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kind words Peter. Pleased you liked the poem, and thanks also for the great rating. Much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 20-01-2014
All Thats Measured
Wise words Val. Sometimes one can find peace and happiness being realistic and not try reaching for the moon.

Best, Luigi.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Luigi, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 21-01-2014
All Thats Measured
There is tightness in the lines - a classically formed and well structured piece - excellent Val. As ever, perfect rhythm and rhyme from a master. Stay strong...David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David for reading, commenting and rating. Appreciate very much. Coping okay, but its not easy.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Savvi on 22-01-2014
All Thats Measured
Damn you make this form sing and with such ease. Very much enjoyed the read. Thanks Keith

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Keith, and also for the great rating. Much appreciated. Pleased you enjoyed.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Jaybee on 13-03-2014
All Thats Measured
A wonderful poem voicing thoughts and desires that I am sure a lot of us have, but never would admit.

The piece flowed like a gently flowing stream on a summer day.

Wonderful.............I feel so relaxed now thanks for sharing it with me.

Author's Reply:


O Starry Night (posted on: 20-01-14)
.............. πŸ™‚

I thought to count the stars last night Glistening softly in my sight Each one as a diamond laid Upon a velvet gown displayed Too many gemstones there were set Upon that canvass, black as jet, Too many for my eyes to grasp Too many for my soul to clasp Such beauty was beyond my reach For I would hold them all, as each Would so illume my fretted mind To light the darkness hid behind O starry night you move me so To yonder regions I would go In search of each and every one Until all shadows then were gone Wandering, seeking through the night Upon the misty moon take flight Across that vast and ancient world Wherein such treasures be unfurled Where life becomes, where love is born My heart, my spirit to adorn With every star that ever shone That I may live forever on O starry night, you fill my soul With all your glory to extol Forever set as shining eyes Transporting me to Paradise
Archived comments for O Starry Night
stormwolf on 20-01-2014
O Starry Night
Breathtakingly beautiful Val. You totally captured the awe and the wonder of the human soul looking at things 'beyond their ken' so to speak.
Very classical in feel, as you so often are and so it almost read to me as a hymn.

Rating is such a subjective thing. ...I would give it a 9 and a half for structure and content but lacking a bite for my personal taste but that is as I say, my personal taste.
Lovely.

Alison x


Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Alison, and for the generous rating. I know this style of writing is not really to your taste, and all the more reason for my acknowledgement and appreciation of your lovely comments.
Best wishes.
Val xx. πŸ™‚

Elfstone on 20-01-2014
O Starry Night
Well written ValDohren. The few street lights that there are here are switched off at 11.45 and on a clear night the stars are awe-inspiring. Elfstone

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Elfstone. Yes, the night sky is a beautiful sight and leaves one feeling totally awestruck.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 20-01-2014
O Starry Night
Another Gem from you Val, I have no such problems with Rating...it's a ten from me. Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Oh thank you again Mike for commenting and giving a top rating. Very much appreciated as always.
Val xx πŸ™‚

pommer on 20-01-2014
O Starry Night
Another wonderful creation Val,so well expressed.I often look at our wonderful sky at night,I am lucky we have no street lights,so our view is always magnificent.I often imagine to be amongst the heavenly bodies,meeting all those I once loved.Thank you for sharing Val, Peter.xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Peter. Our Milky Way is indeed wonderful to behold, but the glory doesn't stop there - the entire seemingly unlimited cosmos, visible or not, is magnificent beyond measure. Wish I could be somewhere up there too.
So pleased you enjoyed.
Val xx πŸ™‚


Shall I, No More, Contentment Praise (posted on: 30-12-13)
......... xx

O how shall I contentment find Within the shadows of my mind When all the world has lost its grace For now it be a darker place - No more to look upon his face The days they pass in silent gloom Here in the confines of this room - This room in which we laughed and cried Wherein I ever seek to hide - This room where I alone abide And as I look towards the light - The light that shines beyond the night I seek to find a brighter land Where once the beauteous rainbow spanned - Where once I held his gentle hand A gentle hand that reached for mine Outreaching thus to so entwine - Where now the love that was so true ? The love that he and I once knew – Full glist'ning as the morning dew In solitude I watch the dawn With heart bereft and so forlorn - An empty sky the light betrays Where nothing fills these soulful days Shall I, no more, contentment praise … Shall I, no more, contentment praise
Archived comments for Shall I, No More, Contentment Praise
deadpoet on 31-12-2013
Shall I, No More, Contentment Praise
I hope you soon can praise contentment. This is very expressive Val-I think it is amazing that you can write such good poetry during hard times. This shows you must have a strong character which I hope sees you through hard times!

Cheers for a less sorrowful 2014.

pia
xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pia - they say time is a great healer, so although it is still early days for me yet, I am hoping the coming of the New Year will help me to move forward. I hope it will bring happiness for you also.
Best wishes.
Val xx

Elfstone on 31-12-2013
Shall I, No More, Contentment Praise
I keep coming back to this one ValDohren - it's lovely, if a little sad. It is so good to read well constructed rhyming poetry, with a rhythm that works throughout.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Elfstone, much appreciated.
Very best wishes for the New Year.
Val


Those Days (posted on: 30-12-13)
....... πŸ™‚

Those days which were by sunlight blessed Which were by sweetness full caressed Are now consumed by shadowed time - (Cold church bells in the distance chime).          The Winter brings her discontent Those Summer days yet to lament - The trees are bare, uncovered now, Whilst stems, unflowered, downward bow. And through the night, the watery moon Shines as a phantom in the gloom - Suspended there in dim display Beyond the earth, so far away. With shortened days, and nights too long We all now sing a sadder song - It seems the world has lost its grace As now it shows a darker face. But seasons turn as seasons will And though the Winter lends its chill The time shall come when Mother Earth Will bring her bounty of new birth. Towards the Springtime then we turn The eager sun to brighter burn - When all the land shall be reborn With fields fresh-sown with golden corn ….. And early comes the glowing dawn. Those days, those days, no more forlorn.
Archived comments for Those Days
Bozzz on 30-12-2013
Those Days
This is a breathless "and amen to that" poem, beautifully phrased, immaculate rhyme and rhythm. What you do best, Val....Most cheerful New Year verses I've seen so far - thank you...XXX David

Author's Reply:
I don't know, what am I going to do with you folks ! - just as I was thinking about posting my requiem due to a flagging confidence, you make a comment like this. With so few hits, I thought my stuff was unapppealing. Thank you so much David, now I'll have to put my departure on hold for a re-think. Thank you also for the generous rating - I'm speechless.
All the very best for the New Year, hope its a good one for you.
Val xx

pommer on 30-12-2013
Those Days
This is an absolute superb piece of writing.Thank you for sharing it with us.What more can I say Val?take care, Pommer xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pommmer - please read my reply to David. Am delighted you like this so much, and for the great rating.
Best wishes to you also for the New Year.
Val xx

Mikeverdi on 30-12-2013
Those Days
Just perfect, one of your very best...I loved it! Mike

Author's Reply:
Many thanks to you also Mike - please read my reply to David. You must be getting fed up with my attempts at leaving this site, but its your fault !! Only joking, am so pleased you liked, and thank you soooo much for the top rating, my flabber is truly gasted.
Very best wishes - I do hope the coming year is kind to you.
Val xx

deadpoet on 31-12-2013
Those Days
Absolutely uplifting for me. Just as I was despairing with the dark gloomy days you inspire me Val. Thank you so much. I almost always revert to the seasons as my essential mood changer. I think Mother Nature is more powerful than we give her credit for. And if there is hope it is in the rebirth of nature in Spring.

Excellent
Pia

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pia for your lovely comments. Think we all need a lift at this time of year - pleased my poem provided it for you. Thanks also for the top rating, you are too kind.
Very best wishes to you.
Val xx


Dappled Gold (posted on: 16-12-13)
....... xx

There they lie 'neath silver clouds Dappled gold, dappled gold, Wrapped in iridescent shrouds Oh so cold, oh so cold. Run your fingers through the sand Damp with tears, damp with tears, Try to reach them, hold their hand Quell their fears, quell their fears. Do we dare to speak their name Whisper low, whisper low, Close your eyes and feel their pain Let them go, let them go. There beneath the moon above Don't you cry, don't you cry, Feel their never ending love As you sigh, as you sigh

Archived comments for Dappled Gold
pommer on 16-12-2013
Dappled Gold
Simply touching. Love it Peter.xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Peter. Pleased you liked.
Best wishes.Val πŸ™‚

deadpoet on 18-12-2013
Dappled Gold
I loved the repetition Val though I didn't quite catch the meaning? I will return and see if it sinks in πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Pia. The poem is about the hurt felt by the bereaved on behalf of the one who has passed away.
Val x

bo_duke99 on 18-12-2013
Dappled Gold
evocative but oblique, some great phrases - Greg

Author's Reply:

bo_duke99 on 18-12-2013
Dappled Gold
evocative but oblique, some great phrases - Greg

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Greg.
Val πŸ™‚


I Tried (posted on: 16-12-13)
------ :>)

I tried to touch the morning mist To hold it in my hand But through my fingers then it slipped Like grains of golden sand. I tried to reach the rainbow curved Across the azure sky Too far, too far beyond my grasp Too high, too high, too high. And then to see the smallest star Full hidden in the night My eyes could not yet capture this So clouded was my sight. I tried to hear the voice of God To hear it in my mind Then feel His love envelop me But He I could not find. I tried to touch, to reach, to see To hear all that I sought But nothing was there manifest As all I found was naught.
Archived comments for I Tried
Mikeverdi on 16-12-2013
I Tried
Ah Val, I too have had these thoughts, beautifully penned. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike - best wishes for Christmas and the New Year.
Val xxx

barenib on 16-12-2013
I Tried
The perennial problem - the more you try to seek the harder it is to find, or so I'm told anyway! Well rendered, John.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting John. Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 16-12-2013
I Tried
Wonderfully written Val, Don't give up,one day you might find. I am always trying. Peter.xxx Best wishes for a blessed Christmas.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Peter - keep on trying too.
Christmas wishes.
Val xxx

Weefatfella on 16-12-2013
I Tried
 photo 9ad6ff1f-0d9b-467e-b5d6-2d3f72a688a0_zps705a5781.jpgAye Val, once again a lovely wee refrain.
Thoroughly enjoyed.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 17-12-2013
I Tried
Reaching for the sky is well nigh impossible, but we all try.
A nice poem with a good rhythm.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi. Hope you have a very Happy Christmas, and with best wishes for the New Year.
Val x

deadpoet on 18-12-2013
I Tried
I also think that knowing it is there- well all these wonders give inspiration- seeing it in the mind's eye-like being blind literally. Loved this poem Val-

Pia
xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pia.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

bo_duke99 on 18-12-2013
I Tried
class, a great idea = Greg

Author's Reply:
Thanks Greg.
Val πŸ™‚


In My Mind (posted on: 13-12-13)
........................ }}

In my mind I trace your smile with my fingers … trying to imprint the contours of your lips on my memory. In my mind I listen for the sound of your voice whispering, whispering to me and in my mind I seek your silhouette … see it drifting like a phantom in the darkness … recapturing you. ~~~~~~~ Yet - there are only shadows only shadows imprinted on my memory … in my mind.
In my mind I trace your smile with my fingers trying to imprint the contours of your lips on my memory. In my mind I listen for the sound of your voice I hear it whispering whispering to me through the silence. In my mind I seek your silhouette see it drifting like a phantom in the darkness … recapturing you, and yet - there are only shadows - gentle shadows imprinted on my memory … in my mind.

Archived comments for In My Mind
deadpoet on 13-12-2013
In My Mind
Sad- well written.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pia.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 13-12-2013
In My Mind
A very sad tale of a true love. loved reading it. Peter.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating Peter.
Val πŸ™‚

Elfstone on 14-12-2013
In My Mind
Lovely - sad, gentle - says a lot in a little.
As you've asked for critique, may I suggest that visually it is maybe a bit too 'broken up' on the page? I also think there might be a line missing. For your consideration. πŸ™‚ Elfstone

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and for your critique Elfstone. In view of David's comments below, I don't quite know how to take your critique further. I have taken it on board for consideration, but at present am unsure about how to close it up. Not sure either what you mean about a missing line, what do you suggest ? Appreciate your observations though, and will look at it again in view of them.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 14-12-2013
In My Mind
Val, I see the separate lines and couplets as representing fleeting shadows across the page. For me they are fine and have meaning. Sorrow hangs long. ..... XXX David


Author's Reply:
Thanks David, and yes sorrow does hang long, very long indeed.
Val xxx

Kipper on 15-12-2013
In My Mind
Val,
On a number occasions you have expressed your feeling of loss and love, and always with a sincere and delicate touch, not least this time.
Wonderful words as we have come to expect, but I wonder however if the presentation might distract slightly.
Best regards, Michael


Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Michael. If you return to my submission, you will find an edited version following Elfstone's suggestions, which I think you will agree is better - what do you think ?
Val πŸ™‚

Elfstone on 15-12-2013
In My Mind
Thanks for the reply Val. The easiest way to further my suggestions is to show you, so I will post this for you further consideration. If you want me to delete it once you've read it just let me know. I'm always very aware that in editing other peoples poetry, one has to tread gently. Elf.

(The "missing" line to my eye/ear is where I have placed the *** line.)


In my mind
I trace your smile with my fingers …
trying to imprint
the contours of your lips
on my memory.

In my mind
I listen for the sound of your voice
iI hear it whispering,
*********
whispering to me.

In my mind
I seek your silhouette …
I see it drifting like a phantom
in the darkness …
recapturing you.

and yet -

there are only shadows
gentle shadows
imprinted on my memory …

in my mind.

(and of course I can't centre this in the reply box - sorry!!)

Author's Reply:
Yes, I think that is much better Elf - thank you. I have added your suggested format so that anyone who may wish to comment further can see the two versions. With the second stanza, I have placed the 'missing' line at the end in order to maintain continuity. I have also omitted most of the dotty lines !! Appreciate your input, thank you again for your time.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 15-12-2013
In My Mind
Much better I think. Your words do not need the support of a fancy layout, though there may of course be times when that is appropriate. When I made my earlier comment I had in mind four stanzas, pretty much as you have it now.
Best regards. Michael

Author's Reply:
Thanks for viewing and commenting again Michael, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Laced With Silver (posted on: 13-12-13)
You are as old as you feel .....

My hair is laced with silver now For time has seized my youth I've lost the count of seasons passed - The mirror shows the truth With eyes that sleep in long repose And limbs now void of tone - The years have taken full their toll As I am older grown Yet in my heart there is a space Where time does not accrue - Where youthfulness does ever shine And all the world is new Where passion moves as much as when My years were counted less - And love does stir my weary soul To sing with joyfulness There too is set within my heart A brightling star that shines - And sweet the wine I'm sipping from Fresh fruit upon the vines So I will raise a glass to youth And all the joy it brings - Will sing a song to celebrate The freedom of its wings Oh, I will sing, yes I will sing A song in praise of Spring For Spring is ever in my heart Such fortitude to bring Then I will pray each morning that Before I'm laid to rest My soul shall ever be imbued With youthful heart, so blessed
Archived comments for Laced With Silver
Corin on 13-12-2013
Laced With Silver
A sentiment beautifully expressed that I heartily endorse:-)

Dave

Author's Reply:
Thank you Dave, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 13-12-2013
Laced With Silver
That's just beautiful Val, one of you're best in my humble opinion. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kind words Mike, and for the top rating - awesome !
Val πŸ™‚

deadpoet on 13-12-2013
Laced With Silver
Perfect Val- excellent too and beautiful! Top rating from me- I think this might be one of your best so far.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pia, pleased you liked, and also for the top rating - am humbled indeed !
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 13-12-2013
Laced With Silver
Dear Val,
my sentiments entirely,I wish I could have expressed tose feelings as well as you. A great poem,a masterpiece. Be lucky Peter


Author's Reply:
Thank you Peter, appreciate your kind words. Thanks also for the very generous rating - so much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Elfstone on 14-12-2013
Laced With Silver
"My hair is laced with silver now
For time has seized my youth
I’ve lost the count of seasons passed -
The mirror shows the truth "

- oh boy! can I relate to this!! Really good poem. Elfstone

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Elfstone, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 14-12-2013
Laced With Silver
Re-invigoration via second childhood is dawning on me. Only my toys have changed. Deserve Nib. Lovely piece Val....David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David - hope you get some great new toys for Christmas !
Val :-O

Kipper on 14-12-2013
Laced With Silver
So many lovely lines here, but one particularly resonated with me, and with others too I would hazard a guess; 'for time has seized my youth'.

A lovely poem (what else from you?) richly deserving of the nib and my small gesture.

Michael



Author's Reply:
Thank you Michael for your very kind words, and for the top rating - soooooo much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Pronto on 15-12-2013
Laced With Silver
Oh Val you just put my life into poetry. Well done my friend I'm jealous that I didn't write it. πŸ˜‰

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pronto, you are too kind. Thanks also for the very generous rating, I'm overawed !
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 15-12-2013
Laced With Silver
You could have not spoken a truer word, Val. You have expressed beautifully the philosophy that wrinklies like me live by. I keep reminding myself that while there's life, there's hope. Thank you.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Luigi - I'm sure you are not an old wrinklie. Mother Nature has been kind to me so far, although I am no beauty, I still have few wrinkles despite my years. As for hope, well it comes and goes !! Thanks also for the top rating, very much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Let Me Not Your Heart E'er Break (posted on: 09-12-13)
An oldie, written before my husband's passing.

Oh let me not your heart e'er break Nor yet your joy to steal For I would not your love forsake Nor mine own heart conceal If in my palm I held your soul Tight-closed my hand would be Then I would all your life extol And keep you safe with me My love will dance upon your heart To bring you sweet delight From you I never will depart Nor free you from my sight Forever you will be my love Until all time shall cease Together 'neath the stars above And after death's release
Archived comments for Let Me Not Your Heart E'er Break
pommer on 09-12-2013
Let Me Not Your Heart Eer Break
This is so very touching, and has made me think how lucky we are to have each other and our love for such a long time. Married 65 years on Christmas Eve.I shall be with you in my thoughts on that day.Stay strong,This is a wonderful poem. Pommer xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer, and congrats on your forthcoming anniversary. I suppose we were lucky to get 37 years, but a little longer would have been good. Thanks for the top rating, I'm humbled indeed.
Best wishes.
Val xxx

Kipper on 09-12-2013
Let Me Not Your Heart Eer Break
May I say your words inspire me. Those who have known the kind of love of which you 'speak' can share your joy and pain. Those who have not can only envy you.
With best wishes, Michael

Author's Reply:
Thank you Michael, I am pleased you found this to be inspiring, and delighted with the top rating.
All the best, Val x

deadpoet on 10-12-2013
Let Me Not Your Heart Eer Break
Absolutely charming Val and as Kipper says- you can relate to this having experienced this kind of love and devotion. You describe it well. You are also in my thoughts this Christmas.

Pia
xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much again Pia, your kind words are always greatly appreciated. Thanks also for the top rating - overawed to say the least.
Best wishes. Val xx

bo_duke99 on 11-12-2013
Let Me Not Your Heart Eer Break
very personal, really hits home

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Bo.
Val πŸ™‚


See How The Stars Are Shining Bright (posted on: 09-12-13)
An Ode for Christmas ...

There's a beauty in the sky tonight See how the stars are shining bright See how the moon lights up the sky Shimmering softly there up high. With a fragrance drifting through the air Intoxicating, everywhere, Breaths of sweet perfume all around Rising up heav'nward from the ground. There's a song of tender love divine A message meant for the world, a sign, Joyfully whisp'ring through the night Soft as a Dove in wing'ed flight. With a heartbeat sounding from afar A heart beating from some distant star Pounding, resounding, in my mind Heralding hope for all mankind. Oh hail to this wonder so revealed This splendour that be no more concealed There's a beauty in the sky tonight See how the stars are shining bright … See how the stars are shining bright.

Archived comments for See How The Stars Are Shining Bright
Kipper on 09-12-2013
See How The Stars Are Shining Bright
It's always a pleasure to read your work, and this is no exception. Beautifully constructed, beautifully rhymed, and one doesn't get a headache trying to work out what it means.


I only hope that your message to the world does not fall on deaf ears.


Best regards, Michael.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Michael, and also for the generous rating. Sadly, the 'goodwill' generated at Christmas-time is usually confined to Christmas-time, but one can hope ! Thank you for your kind words too.
Best wishes.
Val

pommer on 09-12-2013
See How The Stars Are Shining Bright
Absolutely beautiful as ever.The work of a craft person.Enjoyed reading it. Pommer xxx

Author's Reply:
So pleased you liked Pommer - thank you for commenting, and for the great rating.
Best wishes.
Val xx

Bozzz on 09-12-2013
See How The Stars Are Shining Bright
Hi Val, there is always a comforting and soothing aspect of your poems. Not just in the subjects, but the style in which you handle them - and how I envy that skill, for my rough stuff sits at the other end of the spectrum ! All best for Christmas...XXX..David

Author's Reply:
Thank you for such kind words and rating David. I wouldn't say your stuff is rough, just down to earth and realistic - unlike my fantasies. We need both for good measure. All the best to you too.
Val xxx

deadpoet on 10-12-2013
See How The Stars Are Shining Bright
This poem really evokes the moments I gaze stars and wonder at the beauty of the universe. Thank you for reminding me of this in a time where the sky when is concealed by clouds.

Pia
xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pia - the sky is always an inspiration, night or day. Pleased you liked, and thanks also for the generous rating.
All the very best.
Val xx

Mikeverdi on 10-12-2013
See How The Stars Are Shining Bright
I so agree with the others, I always feel 'peace on earth and good will to all men' after reading your poetry; even when its not Christmas πŸ™‚ Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and also for your continued support. Always appreciated.
All the very best.
Val xx

bo_duke99 on 11-12-2013
See How The Stars Are Shining Bright
felt like you really went into one there, glad I could get a glimpse

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Bo, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Corin on 12-12-2013
See How The Stars Are Shining Bright
Would have been nice to have a reference to bright Venus hovering above the horizon to the left of the new moon aand brilliant Jupiter chasing Red Mars across the starry welkin from the East.

It is quite beautiful out there as I write, with a fuzzy moon shining behind a chiffon curtain of cloud to the West and the clear Eastern sky promising frost by morn.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Corin, and for your astronomical input. You are clearly a better poet than me.
Val πŸ™‚


How Shall I Remember You (posted on: 25-11-13)
How shall I remember you .....

How shall I remember you as heavenward I gaze through clouds of wispy ether and shimm'ring misty haze. How shall I recall your smile through time's fast moving pace - remember then forever your face, your gentle face. What memories shall stir me that we should never part – what thoughts forever cherish and hold within in my heart. And shall the things that bound us together through the years remain to bring me solace and ease away my fears. Are they fixed within my heart in this gold band I wear - are they dancing in the wind yes, shall I find them there. I pray that they will never be lost within the shade – that they will shine forever not fade, not ever fade. How shall I remember you - within the stars that gleam ? as an image in my mind - a dream, just as a dream ….. ?

Archived comments for How Shall I Remember You
deadpoet on 25-11-2013
How Shall I Remember You
This is beautiful and indeed mournful Val.Good memories seldom fade and can give much warmth to the heart. We should never be afraid of losing the good memories. More strength to you.

Pia
xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pia, and for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 25-11-2013
How Shall I Remember You
Those sort of memories with never fade with the passing of time Val, you're wonderful poetry will keep them alive.
Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
You are very kind Mike, thank you for reading and commenting.
Val x πŸ™‚

pommer on 25-11-2013
How Shall I Remember You
What a thoughtful poem Val,memories will always be there,they may fade,but will never be forgotten.I am sure they will always be with you and be warming your heart.Pommerxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Pommer, and also for the rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

MrMarmite on 25-11-2013
How Shall I Remember You
I know who this poem is meant for so no explanation is needed.A beautiful poem Val and so well written.
Keep your chin up ! No rating needed.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting MrM. Hope you are keeping well.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 25-11-2013
How Shall I Remember You
Your poems are always as gentle as your heart - from which they spring. This one flows superbly. I do agree that you are right to leave the question marks to the end, for most of the poem is questions....XXX David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David for your kind words, and for the generous rating. Yes, it would have looked odd with too many question marks.
Val x πŸ™‚

bo_duke99 on 26-11-2013
How Shall I Remember You
dreams don't come true, but they can end - a really accomplished elegy - Greg

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Greg - dreams are just dreams, figments of the imagination. But perhaps we need them sometimes, when reality is too painful to bear. Pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

Kipper on 26-11-2013
How Shall I Remember You
Beautiful as always. Little else to say.

Michael


Author's Reply:
Thank you Michael for your kind comment.
Val πŸ™‚


I Am A Mystery (posted on: 25-11-13)
Another oldie .....

My mother is the mountain Sweet ether is her breath, Born of words unspoken Was I, in tenderness I know not where I am Nor what I'm meant to be I cannot comprehend I am a mystery

Archived comments for I Am A Mystery
deadpoet on 25-11-2013
I Am A Mystery
Something quite other-worldly about this little mystery. Fascinating.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pia - written a very long time ago.
Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 25-11-2013
I Am A Mystery
 photo 9ad6ff1f-0d9b-467e-b5d6-2d3f72a688a0_zps705a5781.jpg
Very refined Val.
Just like yir wee self a've nae doobt.
Weefatfella.x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting WFF. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚ x

pommer on 25-11-2013
I Am A Mystery
I love the first four lines, well written ,Pommer x

Author's Reply:
Thanks For reading and commenting Pommer.
Val πŸ™‚ x

bo_duke99 on 26-11-2013
I Am A Mystery
a great little working, succinct, coherent and moving - Greg

Author's Reply:
Thanks Greg, appreciate your comments.
Val πŸ™‚


Upon A Winter's Day (posted on: 11-11-13)
An old one, in my current absence of inspiration ....

So cold upon a winter's day In icy winds the trees did sway And all around the snow there lay – So cold upon a winter's day I felt the chill upon my face The mist did all the hills embrace With frosted trees as fine-spun lace – I felt the chill upon my face And snowflakes melting on my hand Beneath my feet the frozen land White crystals speckling the sand – Like snowflakes melting on my hand With raindrops falling from the sky The birds to warmer regions fly You left me here, alone, to sigh - 'Neath raindrops falling from the sky O why, then, did you say goodbye …..
Archived comments for Upon A Winter's Day
MrMarmite on 11-11-2013
Upon A Winters Day
Sorry to hear your inspiration isn't with you just now Val,it will come back soon no doubt.As winter is fast approaching what better than a poem on the cold season.
Nothing wrong with an old poem of yours especially when it's as good as this one.

Author's Reply:
Thank you MrM, and also for the generous rating. Much appreciated.
Val x

deadpoet on 16-11-2013
Upon A Winters Day
No nothing wrong wth an oldie I think. Thank you for posting despite your present circumstances. You are giving us of your bounty. Beautiful poem with fine rhyme and repetition- love all the lines.

:)Pia

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Pia, glad you liked. Thanks also for the great rating, much appreciated.
πŸ™‚ Val x


Into The Deep (posted on: 11-11-13)
Another oldie .......

Falling slowly into the deep Slipping away from me Falling yet through the bounds of time Back to reality Where worlds collide and disappear And all is calm and still Then so to be in perfect peace Our purpose to fulfil Falling slowly into the deep Passing through layers of me Watching, waiting for all that is To see, to know, to be Then with the coming of the dawn To watch the rising sun Growing brighter, and brighter still 'Til all are joined as one Falling slowly into the deep Towards eternity Slipping away from all that is Into the shining sea
Archived comments for Into The Deep
Mikeverdi on 11-11-2013
Into The Deep
Beautiful words Val XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike. xxx

Ionicus on 11-11-2013
Into The Deep
At times the oldies are the best. A nice and reflective poem with a good rhythm.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Luigi.
Val

Bozzz on 11-11-2013
Into The Deep
Val, this is a lullaby for adults - I'd love to hear you sing it for it is every man's dream of how to fall asleep. I can imagine a hypnotist using it to lull his on-couch patient... BOZZZzzzz !

Author's Reply:
Thanks BOZZZzzzzzzzz ... Sweet dreams. Thanks also for the generous rating.
Val x

Weefatfella on 11-11-2013
Into The Deep
 photo 06d74512-a3fb-4081-8172-f3ae5390860b_zpse75163c6.jpg
Dearest Val, I have been very busy with work recently and haven't had much time to visit UKA.
Things are beginning to lighten up now and I'm sorry to say " Aw Naw!... he's back."
You know I love the old -fashioned style you have.
It is both peaceful and reflective.
Thank you Val.
Oh! congratulations on being chosen featured member.
Well Deserved.
Weefatfella.x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for dropping by WFF, and for your very kind words. I am pleased you are back. I have not been very active on UKA myself of late, both inspiration and interest have deserted me I'm afraid. That's why I have resorted to a couple of old writes - as featured member, felt I should post something. Good to hear from you, and keep up with the good work.
Best wishes. Val x

pommer on 12-11-2013
Into The Deep
What a beautiful thoughtful poem.It really touched the strings of my heart Val.A well composed piece of work.Be strong, Pommer

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks Pommer, and for the great rating. I appreciate your lovely words.
Val

EmotiveSoul on 12-11-2013
Into The Deep
Beautiful words, flows with ease. Really enjoyed it. Daz

Author's Reply:
Thank you Daz, appreciate your comments.
Val

deadpoet on 16-11-2013
Into The Deep
Sorry for being a bit late to this one. As you are one of my favourite authors I am following you best I can. You never disappoint- this is very lyrical almost happy. I wish you happiness. I am glad you are posting.

:)Pia

Author's Reply:
No need for apologies Pia, I am so thankful for your interest in my work. I wish I could do some writing again, but there is just nothing there right now. Thank you for your good wishes, I'm getting there slowly.
{{{hugs}}} Val


Captured In A Moment (posted on: 28-10-13)
Captured in a moment .....

Captured in a moment … a smile, a touch that means so much. The glint in your eyes - a flash of lightning across darkened skies. The fluttering wings of butterflies. Captured in a moment … A glance, and a turn of the hand that says ''I understand.'' A wistful sigh that means goodbye. That last heartbeat and a falling tear – Captured in a moment … ''Sleep well my dear.''

Archived comments for Captured In A Moment
Mikeverdi on 28-10-2013
Captured In A Moment
Beautiful XxX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the great rating.
Val xx

stormwolf on 28-10-2013
Captured In A Moment
Another lovely if sad one Val. I hope writing is helping in some small way to deal with the pain

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Yes, in a small way I think it is helping Alison. Thank you for reading and rating, always appreciated.
Val xx

deadpoet on 28-10-2013
Captured In A Moment
Yes beautiful

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pia, and for the rating.
Val

Buschell on 28-10-2013
Captured In A Moment
Zen like feel and pang...You cannot pretend this kind of emotion. Spot on.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Buschell, much appreciated.
Val

Nemo on 31-10-2013
Captured In A Moment
Delicate imagery and deft phrasing - a masterly evocation of grief, all the more poignant for the gentle understatement. Best wishes, Val. Gerald.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Gerald for reading and rating, appreciate your comments.
Val

pommer on 26-11-2013
Captured In A Moment
Beautiful, Hopefully it will ease your pain.with you in thoughts, Pommer xxx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks again Pommer.
Val πŸ™‚ xx


The Stars Are Shining Bright Tonight (posted on: 28-10-13)
The stars are shining bright tonight .....

The stars are shining bright tonight And the moon is gently glowing The land is softly bathed in light But a cold, cold wind is blowing Yes, a cold, cold wind is blowing My eyes no longer see the sun Nor yet all the skylarks flying The time for weeping has begun And I am in sorrow crying Yes, I am in sorrow crying Where is the joy that was so true O where is the love o'er-flowing Lost are the dreams that I once knew With heartache and sadness growing Yes, heartache and sadness growing The stars are shining bright tonight But the world is gently sighing Who will now hold me warm and tight For my soul is slowly dying Yes, my soul is slowly dying
Archived comments for The Stars Are Shining Bright Tonight
franciman on 28-10-2013
The Stars Are Shining Bright Tonight
This is beautiful Val. It has the feel of a Medieaval Rondelay; I think it is the rhythm and the last line repeat.
Very effective.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Jim, and also for the great rating.
Cheers also.
Val

stormwolf on 28-10-2013
The Stars Are Shining Bright Tonight
Hi Val,
I also liked the repetition and felt it was like a song to read so could be lyrics.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and rating Alison. Much appreciated as always.
Val x

deadpoet on 28-10-2013
The Stars Are Shining Bright Tonight
A sad lament Val. very well written.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Pia, and for the generous rating.
Val

Ionicus on 29-10-2013
The Stars Are Shining Bright Tonight
A poignant poem, Val, with the repeated lines emphasising the sadness and the grief.

Best regards, Luigi

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Luigi, and for the great rating.
Val

Bozzz on 29-10-2013
The Stars Are Shining Bright Tonight
Dear Val - is there no shoulder yet? - we are here and feel and share your pain, but that is not the same. Good write - smooth and straight forward - love it....David

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting David, and for the rating.
Val

pommer on 26-11-2013
The Stars Are Shining Bright Tonight
What a wonderfully expressed poem.As David says, we are here to share your pain,trying to let you know that many of your fellow poets are with you.I love the poem. Pommer

Author's Reply:
Appreciate your lovely comments Pommer, and also everyone's kindness. Thanks for the generous rating too.
Val πŸ™‚ x


Stories (posted on: 18-10-13)
There are many stories to tell ...

There are many stories to tell but they die in the telling … Voices tremble and words falter. Eyes close on the reality they conceal. No-one will ever know these stories - they remain untold. The pain is too immense so they die in the telling.

Archived comments for Stories
ValDohren on 18-10-2013
Stories
Very many thanks for the nib and the nom, such kindnesses cheer my heart a little at this time.
Val x

Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 18-10-2013
Stories
Like many things, you only get out what you put in Val. Congratulations on your well earned Nibs. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike.
Val x

Bozzz on 18-10-2013
Stories
Val, if you spoke the words of the stories, the energy you gave the air is attenuated but never completely dies. True of us all.
Non omnis moriar - I shall not completely die...With love, David

Author's Reply:
Very scientific David, the problem is actually getting the words out when choked with emotion. Thanks for commenting.
Val x

deadpoet on 19-10-2013
Stories
Sometimes it dulls the pain getting the stories out Val- a tear or two never hurt anyone. But you put it very well into words here-such an accomplishment!! Really moved me to read this.

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Pia - appreciate your comments, and thanks also for the great rating.
Val

Pronto on 19-10-2013
Stories
Speak your words Val if only to yourself the telling is a balm for your soul.
Love and hugs

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and rating Pronto, and especially for the love and hugs which I need so much right now.
Best wishes.
Val

pommer on 22-10-2013
Stories
Once again I was moved by those words. Wonderful Pommer.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Pommer, thanks again.
Val


Be Still My Love (posted on: 18-10-13)
I wrote this around the time of my husband's death, and in the turmoil forgot to post it .....

I saw your tears in dawn's soft light As close beside you then I lay Within my arms I held you tight To ease you through another day The smile that once lit up your face Became a distant memory - Oh you I never could replace You'll always be the world to me Another day, another time The sun will shine forever long Across celestial realms sublime When we will sing a sweeter song Be still, my love, don't weep, don't weep It's time, my love, to sleep, to sleep
Archived comments for Be Still My Love
franciman on 18-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Val, you have been in all of our thoughts recently.
I don't wish to dwell on this comment; but I must tell you it moved me to tears and You paint the rainbow through the rain.
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jim for your lovely comments. No poetic excellence strived for here, just a few words from my heart.
Cheers.
Val

Mikeverdi on 18-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Agree with Jim, enough said. Mike XxX

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike.
Val xx

stormwolf on 18-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Incredibly moving and love filledjim beat me to the nomination.
Made me cry too.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Alison. Sorry about the tears !
Val xx

PS: Thanks also for the great rating Alison πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 18-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Very many thanks for the nib and the nom. So much appreciated.
Val

Author's Reply:

Kipper on 18-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Me too.
Michael

Author's Reply:

Kipper on 18-10-2013
Be Still My Love


Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for your very generous rating - much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

deadpoet on 19-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Moving indeed.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pia.
Best wishes.
Val x

Bonnie on 19-10-2013
Be Still My Love
This is very moving.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Bonnie.
Best wishes.
Val

Bonnie on 19-10-2013
Be Still My Love
This is very moving.

Author's Reply:

Pronto on 19-10-2013
Be Still My Love
What can one say? So moved by this Val, so moved.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pronto, and for the great rating.
Best wishes.
Val

mageorge on 20-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Sorry for a late comment on this piece, Val. So deep and moving!
I wish you nothing but the very best,
Mark.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Mark, and for the generous rating. You have all been so kind with your comments and ratings, which I very much appreciate. I just wish this poem had never needed to be written.
Val

Ionicus on 20-10-2013
Be Still My Love
A poignant write, straight from the heart. Well done on the nib.
Best wishes.
Luigi

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Luigi.
Val

MrMarmite on 21-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Hi Val. I was thinking about you the other day and hoping your staying strong.It takes strength to write when your still feeling numb I guess,but your words show your love and devotion to your beloved husband.
Take care. Kevin.

Author's Reply:
Hi Kevin - thanks for reading and commenting. I am finding it difficult to write at the present time, but it is early days yet - still too many tears. You are very kind to think of me and I appreciate that. Hopefully, it won't be too long before inspiration returns.
Best wishes, and you take care too.
Val

JackCrowe on 22-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing this.

Ian/Jack

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jack, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

pommer on 22-10-2013
Be Still My Love
What a beautiful moving tribute,Val, I read this with tears in my eyes. Take care.Pommer

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pommer, and for the brilliant rating. So much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 23-10-2013
Be Still My Love
Val, that's a simply beautiful homage to love. I feel your longing and pray for your solace.

Greg

 photo Gunspincowboy.gif

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kind words Greg, and lovely to hear from you again.
Val


The Sound of Love (posted on: 27-09-13)
An oldie resurrected .... πŸ™‚

Can you hear the sound of love As soft as April rain, Carried on a gentle breeze - Ah, such a sweet refrain. Listen for its tender voice, Whispering soft and warm, In a mother's lullaby Sung to her child newborn. Hear it in the raindrops as They tumble to the earth, Kissing field and pasture, thus To propagate new birth, Encaptured in the falling snow Soft floating to the ground - In the rustle of the trees, Ah yes, the sweetest sound. Hear it in a violin So smooth and finely strung - There within a songbird's call Whilst tending to her young. Ling'ring in a symphony In music so sublime, Lifting to the highest peaks Of ecstasy divine. Hidden in the silence fixed Between the tender sighs Of hearts forever woven close - (And see it in their eyes). Listen in the darkest hour Before the dawn breaks through, This when you'll hear it clear Soft whisp'ring ''I love you."
Archived comments for The Sound of Love
deadpoet on 28-09-2013
The Sound of Love
Beautiful !

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pia, and for the very generous rating. Pleased you liked.
Val x

Kipper on 28-09-2013
The Sound of Love
ValDohren
I guess I'm old fasioned but I do like poetry that ecompasses the gentle qualitiss of rhyme and rythm; which does not require me to prize between the lines to find a meaning, and which leaves me feeling comfortable.
How can I disagree with deadpoet.
Beautiful!
Michael.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading Michael, and also for the great rating. Glad you like the old fashioned touch.
Val

pommer on 26-11-2013
The Sound of Love
Absolutely beautiful.I must agree with Michael,I am old fashioned too. Well done,Pommer xx

Author's Reply:
So pleased you liked this one Pommer - written quite some time ago. It is heartening that there is still a place for the old fashioned stuff, especially on a more modernistic style site like UKA. Thank you for commenting, and for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚ xx


Spider Month (posted on: 27-09-13)
September is mating time for our little friends ....

Batten the hatches And seal all the doors Close all the windows And scour all the floors They`ll hide in your bed And in your dinner Sit on your shoulder Each one`s a winner ! So get out your torch And be vigilant Look out for our friend `Cause he aint no ant ! They`re big as a bird So walk round in fear All larger than life O spider month`s here !

Archived comments for Spider Month
Bozzz on 27-09-2013
Spider Month
Didn't know spiders had a month. For me they are David Attenborough's gift to mankind. We have to choose between spiders and flies and for me it's the spiders every time. There is a cure for arachnowhateveritis. Neat little poem Val.........David

Author's Reply:
They come indoors in September, often in search of a mate. I'm trying to love them, but it's not easy - an archetypal fear, I suspect. As for the poem, just a bit of rubbish really ! Thanks for reading and rating anyway David.
Val

deadpoet on 28-09-2013
Spider Month
Yes they all seek indoors from the cold. Some people love them- I don't but I like that they take the flies and other bugs. Sometimes I shiver to see how their prey suffer in the web but there's nought to do- it's all life. Nice poem Val- seasonal too and close to nature- I like that.
Piaxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Pia. Yes, unapppealing as they are, they are good to have in the home. Not so in Australia though, where they are pretty lethal !!
Val xx

MrMarmite on 29-09-2013
Spider Month
Spiders or Flies ? I don't mind Spiders but Flies are a menace.
But does anybody know how Spiders manage to get in your Bath ?And how they manage to survive being flushed down the Plughole ?Amusing poem by the way Val.

Author's Reply:
These are eternal mysteries MrMarmite, and if I manage to solve them I will let you know. Thanks for commenting.
Val

Ionicus on 29-09-2013
Spider Month
I catch them in a jar and throw them outside but I swear that they return. Must be equipped with a sat-nav.
The poem made me chuckle.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Luigi, and for the rating.
Val

pommer on 26-11-2013
Spider Month
I am superstitious about spiders, a hangover from my childhood.I always worry when I see one in the morning, but I welcome them in the evening.An old Pomeranian superstition.I would never harm one either.A lovely littl write Val, Pommer

Author's Reply:
Never heard of that superstition, but will bear it in mind for next year !! Just a little fun write from last year.
Thanks for commenting and rating Pommer.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Andrea on 26-11-2013
Spider Month
I love spiders - a gardeners best friend πŸ™‚ Nice little pome, Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
I'm glad somebody loves them Andrea, I am sure they need it - poor little things, inappropriately maligned. An archetypal fear I think. Thanks for dropping in and commenting.
Val πŸ™‚


Paperwork (posted on: 23-09-13)
In the midst of grief, there is always a humorous side to things .....

My husband died just recently And I am in a tizzy The paperwork that needs be done Is making me quite dizzy So many people should be told About his sad departing And 'though my pain is quite immense My troubles are just starting To first arrange the funeral Is really quite dramatic The Undertaker must be called Which really is traumatic And then the Wake must be arranged To satisfy the living Providing all the guests with food As comfort they'll be giving The Bank must promptly be informed And then there is his pension Along with any Benefits Are things that I should mention Car insurance, driving licence United Utilities With Water Rates and Energy And all such facilities All the charge cards must be paid And leave my balance dwindling They need be done in fullest time Lest I be 'done' for swindling His Bus Pass needs be cancelled too Along with all subscriptions Then to the Chemist I must go Returning his prescriptions The telephone should be transferred Into my name re-listed The Council then need be informed Community Charge subsisted The Life Insurance must be claimed Because I need it quickly My waning balance worries me Oh dear, I feel quite sickly And then the worst of all this stuff Those Tax Returns are scary The tax man doesn't like mistakes Which leaves me kinda wary O help me, help me if you can In this I'm surely drowning My darling won't you please come back And stop my brow from frowning But maybe in a year or two When all this 'stuff' has ended I'll thus begin to live again With broken heart then mended
Archived comments for Paperwork
deadpoet on 23-09-2013
Paperwork
Poor you Val-persevere- I'm sure you'll get it all sorted.

Author's Reply:
Getting there dp.
Val

orangedream on 23-09-2013
Paperwork
Val - my heart goes out to you. Hang on in there.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thanks Tina. It's a hard road to travel, but hopefully will get there in the end.
Best wishes.
Val

Savvi on 24-09-2013
Paperwork
Hi Val
Your poem brings back memory's, I had forget how much stuff needs sorting out and at a time when your heads on backwards and your minds on a roller coaster. I do agree though you have to see the funny side. It's good to capture a piece this way. Best Keith

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Keith, much appreciated.
Val

Weefatfella on 25-09-2013
Paperwork
 photo 89f4a5d0-5f15-4509-881e-443a08debcc5_zps272a8411.jpg
Excellent Val.
I sincerely hope you're back to rights soon.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:

Algy on 26-09-2013
Paperwork
Hi ValDohren. The list of "things to do" as so cleverly described in the poem is considered by some to be actually a form of emotional defrosting. We have the death, sudden, known, expected or otherwise and then the reality of things to be done. Having to focus on such tasks, whilst in the stage of emotional inertia is considered elsewhere as being theraputic. Peter Kaplan a Psychologist in the US, wrote of "impact, recoil, adjustment" in terms of how most human beings respond to bad news including death, sudden or otherwise, loss of job, loss of relationship, loss of anything so important to that individual.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and rating Algy, also for that most fascinating information. Shall Google it.
Val

Bozzz on 26-09-2013
Paperwork
Being busy is the road to recovery, but the pain is still there alongside humour in the poem. 9 an extra point for courage....David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David. I believe the pain will be there for a long time to come, so I realise the need to try and maintain a sense of humour,
Val x


I Thought I Saw You (posted on: 23-09-13)
I thought I saw you moving in the shadows .....

I thought I saw you moving in the shadows Drifting through the silence of the night How brightly shone your eyes that were upon me A vision oh so beauteous to my sight For though you are now gone and I am weeping To spend my life without you by my side I know that somewhere fixed within the darkness Your light will shine forever as my guide I'm reaching out, my darling, so to touch you But you are just an image in my mind And though I'll never once more hear you breathing Your heart with mine shall ever be entwined I thought I saw you moving in the shadows Along the bridge of death's long road you passed Shimmering in the dark there as a phantom To find eternal peacefulness at last And I shall linger here set deep in sorrow Alone, in solitude, no more with you Full knowing that, one day, we'll be together Again our love to shine forever true
Archived comments for I Thought I Saw You
deadpoet on 23-09-2013
I Thought I Saw You
Such sorrow...it will turn sweet eventually I promise.

Pia
xx

Author's Reply:
I'm sure you are right Pia, although it seems light years away at present. Thanks for your kind words.
Val

Bozzz on 23-09-2013
I Thought I Saw You
Pia is right - there is so much in you - maybe more sadness yet but the lighter side will shine through too...... David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David for your faith in me. Time will tell, I guess.
Val

MrMarmite on 24-09-2013
I Thought I Saw You
Hi Val from your friend Kevin.
Thanks for letting me know about this site just come on it today.A new start for me ! I hope your coping but it's great to see your carrying on writing,your too talented not to.
Look out for my Junk Mail poem by MrMarmite.
take care for now.


Author's Reply:
Hi Kevin. Welcome to UKA, am so pleased you have joined us, and shall look out for your subs.
Very best wishes.
Val

MrMarmite on 24-09-2013
I Thought I Saw You
Hi Val from your friend Kevin.
Thanks for letting me know about this site just come on it today.A new start for me ! I hope your coping but it's great to see your carrying on writing,your too talented not to.
Look out for my Junk Mail poem by MrMarmite.
take care for now.


Author's Reply:

Pronto on 25-09-2013
I Thought I Saw You
Beautiful poem Val that you find the strength to write at this sad time speaks volumes for your character and courage. Bravo poet!

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your very kind words Pronto, and for the super rating. Humbled.
Val

amman on 25-09-2013
I Thought I Saw You
Absolutely, sadly beautiful, Val. Peace be with you at this time.
best regards.
Tony.

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks Tony, you are so kind.
Best wishes.
Val

Bradene on 26-09-2013
I Thought I Saw You

Hope the wishes and words of your fellow poets and writers on UKA will help you through your pain Take care Valx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kindness Val.
Val x


The Day Is Done (posted on: 20-09-13)
For my dear husband, who passed away on 4 September 2013.

All flames shall dim, all books shall close Petals fall from the dying rose The actor makes his final bow The curtain falls, its over now With no more words and no more sighs We`ve spoken now our last goodbyes The time has come, the end of this From trembling lips, a final kiss Eclipsed is now the coming dawn From which another night is born For shadows move across the earth Another death, another birth As darkness clouds the closing day Your quiet heart in silence lay After the fading of the sun Last breath taken - the day is done (Little yellow flowers Dancing in the breeze Little yellow flowers Huddled round the trees Little yellow flowers Seemed to know my pain Little yellow flowers In my mem`ry will remain)
Archived comments for The Day Is Done
roger303 on 20-09-2013
The Day Is Done
A beautifully written poem and a wonderful eulogy.

Sad and lovely.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Roger

Author's Reply:
Thank you Roger.
Best wishes.
Val

Bradene on 20-09-2013
The Day Is Done
A beautiful tribute to a man so obviously loved, I adored the little yellow flower verse, Sensitively written. Remember he's only a whisper away. Take care. Valx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Val - I'll be listening.
Best wishes.
Val

mageorge on 20-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Beautiful, Val. I'm sure I speak for everyone here, when I say you are in my thoughts.

Best regards,
Mark.



Author's Reply:
Thank you Mark - you are all very kind.
Best wishes.
Val

deadpoet on 20-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Beautiful- I feel for you in your grief. I remember the Little Yellow Flowers verse- very fitting- I'm sorry for your loss and Yes you are in my thoughts.

Pia
xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you also Pia - your kindness is much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val x

stormwolf on 20-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Very sad and beautifully expressed Val.
As Val says, he is nearer to you than your heart beat.
I too, am holding you in my thoughts.

Alison xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison - lovely to know you all care.
Best wishes.
Val x

Bonnie on 20-09-2013
The Day Is Done
This is lovely, but very sad. I hope you keep well; I will be thinking of you.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Bonnie. You are very kind.
Val

Savvi on 21-09-2013
The Day Is Done
This is beautifully crafted Val, I have been thinking about you and hoping your ok, the flowers are so vivid and carry all the weight so delicately. Best wishes Keith

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Keith. I am humbled by everyone's kindness.
Val

orangedream on 21-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Thinking of you, Val, and shall light a candle.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Oh thank you Tina. So much kindness, its overwhelming.
Val

Andrea on 21-09-2013
The Day Is Done
I'm so sorry for your loss, Val. A beautiful and poignant piece.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, you are so kind.
Val

pommer on 21-09-2013
The Day Is Done
What a beautifully crafted eulogy.It touched the strings of my heart with beauty and sadness.It is so well composed.You are in my thoughts.Pommer

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer. You are all helping me to get through this with your kindness and caring.
Val

ValDohren on 21-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Thanks to whoever for the nomination - very humbled.
Val

Author's Reply:

Hekkus on 21-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Rhymed laments can often sound unintentionally twee, but this doesn't. I sensed the grief through the brief but effective words. I lost my partner 11 years ago, so this resonated with me.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Hekkus for reading and commenting.
Val

OldPeculier on 22-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Cant say that I am much of a poetry fan, but I can see this came from the heart.

Best wishes in this difficult time.

Author's Reply:
Thank you OP, much appreciated.
Val

Pronto on 22-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Val such a sweet sad tribute to a gentleman you loved very dearly may he rest in peace.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kind words Pronto.
Val

Bozzz on 22-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Dear Val, I cannot say more than I have said. Your courage in keeping with us is what I shall remember as well your work ...This time the poem is less important to me than that fact...David.

Author's Reply:
Thank you David. Guess I'm just a bit needy right now.
Val

stormwolf on 22-09-2013
The Day Is Done
Hi Val
I just dropped in to tell you that I know the ratings are sincere but more so that you are part of the UKA family.
Just back from meeting two members and the truth of the matter is, that we are some sort of (dysfunctional family)
That means that we look out for one another in a supportive way. πŸ™‚
The days ahead may be bleak but you have friends on the ether. πŸ˜‰


Author's Reply:
Your words are a great comfort to me Alison and I do so appreciate the care and warmth which I have received from many of you. It is lovely to be made to feel part of the UKA family.Thank you.
Val xx


No More (posted on: 26-08-13)
...............

When all the birds no longer sing The earth no more revolve Then shall my silent heart take wing And life shall thus dissolve When all the stars no more to shine The sun no more to burn Then shall the earth no more confine My soul, no more to yearn When all the time of mortal birth Has ceased, this soul set free Shall soar beyond the still'ed earth To touch eternity

Archived comments for No More
deadpoet on 27-08-2013
No More
I'd like to be an angel when it's all over and I want to meet up with my loved one.
I like your poetry with a melange of dark and light.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks dp.
Val

Bradene on 27-08-2013
No More
A very comforting piece indeed. Valx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Val.
Val

cooky on 29-08-2013
No More
A piece that has a commercial potential. Very apt for funerals.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Cooky.
Val


Knock Knock (posted on: 26-08-13)
Knock, knock, is anyone there .....

Knock, Knock, is anyone there Someone to love me, someone to care, Someone to hold me, my problems to share Knock, knock, is anyone there Knock, knock, can anyone see See how this life is troubling me See how I yearn to let go and be free, Knock, knock, can anyone see Knock, knock, can anyone hear Anyone list'ning, anyone near With sweet words to whisper, soothing my fear Knock, knock, can anyone hear Knock, knock, oh where are you now, Where have you gone, I need you somehow Where are your kisses to soften my brow Knock, knock, oh where are you now Knock, knock, don`t cast me aside Reach out and find the pain that's inside See, my friend, see how much I have cried Knock, knock, don't cast me aside Knock, knock, if you only knew My heart is breaking, breaking in two Please be there for me, as I am for you Knock, knock, if only you knew Knock, knock, can anyone .......... Knock, knock, can .......... Knock, knock, .......... Knock, ..........

Archived comments for Knock Knock
orangedream on 26-08-2013
Knock Knock
This has a lovely, lyrical, lilting feeling to it Val. A nice take on the 'Knock, knock...' theme.

Enjoyed.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Tina. Sorry for the late response, but my husband has recently passed away and therefore I have not been active on UKA.
Val

pommer on 26-08-2013
Knock Knock
Yes Val,
another good poem. Enjoyed it as usual.Pommer.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Pommer. Sorry for the late response but my husband has recently passed away and I have not been active on UKA.
Val

Bozzz on 26-08-2013
Knock Knock
Knocked for six ! - it deserves better than that. Two fours I'd say.Perhaps if our sense of smell was involved your pheromones and perfumes would be irresistible? Your great rhythm and rhyme always attract me too......David

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating David. Sorry for the late response, but I have not been active on UKA due to losing my husband, who passed away on 4 September.
Val

Weefatfella on 27-08-2013
Knock Knock
 photo b75165e4-7600-48cb-b7fd-9f85d6470df7_zps4cd05353.jpg
Wee sowel. Is it Avon and the bell's broken?
Sorry Val.
A really nice write as usual.
A lot of pain and loneliness here.
Great poem as always.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Paul. Sorry for the late response, but my husband has recently passed away and I have not been active on UKA.
Val

deadpoet on 27-08-2013
Knock Knock
Gripping..

Author's Reply:
Thank you dp.
Val

stormwolf on 27-08-2013
Knock Knock
A very sad poem that had me mentally seeing a very sad, lonely old person alone in a house. It breaks my heart to think of the number of lonely old people there are, forgotten by family or maybe most of their friends have died etc...
An unusual poem that will remain with me long after reading.
I see you have not used any question marks. It could be littered with them I suppose so maybe that is why you have chosen not to use them.
If I have any crit it may be that there are so many 'knock knocks' that the title could have been more original and the bit about the poem as well... a couple less knocks so to speak lol πŸ˜‰

Anyway, another example of you stretching you wings and to good effect.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison. Sorry for the late response, but I have not been active on UKA of late.
Val

amman on 27-08-2013
Knock Knock
Works for me Val. I like the lyrical repetitiveness of this sombre poem and the rhythm is spot on as usual. Congrats on the layout too; not easy to get that kind of balance.
Cheers.
Tony.

Author's Reply:
Thanks amman. Sorry for the late response but my husband has recently passed away, therefore I have not been active on UKA.
Val

Bradene on 27-08-2013
Knock Knock
Very haunting and sincere. We all feel like this at times don't we. Happily though my melancholy never lasts for long.
Valx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Val. Sorry for the late response, but my husband has recently passed away and I have not been active on UKA.
Val

Bradene on 27-08-2013
Knock Knock
Very haunting and sincere. We all feel like this at times don't we. Happily though my melancholy never lasts for long.
Valx

Author's Reply:

Ionicus on 27-08-2013
Knock Knock
A fine poem with a good rhythm. I particularly like the use of the ever decreasing 'knock, knock', implying a realisation that no one is listening to the plea.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Luigi. Sorry for the late response, but my husband has recently passed away and I have not been active on UKA.
Val

mageorge on 27-08-2013
Knock Knock
Hi Val, this is only my opinion, but i don't like the use of commas at the end of three sentences. Perhaps if you lost them, it would be fine. It's only my opinion on what is a great poem.
Regards,
Mark.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your comment and crit Mark. Sorry for the late response, but my husband has recently passed away and I have not been active on UKA.
Val

Nemo on 28-08-2013
Knock Knock
(I personally favour the full use of punctuation and argue that the trend to omit it is more likely to cause problems than its use.) I wonder if this poem is meant to be sung? It has that sort of quality to it, and is delivered in soft, plaintive tones. Taking the 'knock, knock' opener, which tends to lead to so many jokes, some of them in bad taste, takes courage as you don't want the exquisitely crafted expression of pain, sorrow and loneliness to be diminished in any way. A bold undertaking. Gerald

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Gerald. Sorry for the late response, but my husband has recently passed away and I have not been active on UKA.
Val

cooky on 29-08-2013
Knock Knock
I like the theme of this. Very good rhythm too.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Cooky. Sorry for the late response, but my husband has recently passed away and I have not been active on UKA.
Val

Mikeverdi on 02-09-2013
Knock Knock
Great poem Val, I agree it's good to see you trying other styles, I don't always like the repetition but it works here to illustrate the story. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Mike. Sorry for the late response but my husband has recently passed away and I have not been active on UKA.
Val


Where Abides Love's Sweet Domain (posted on: 23-08-13)
Another older write .....

Where abides love's sweet domain In the realms of deep unrest Does it tarry in your heart Will it wax at my behest Does it hide between each word There betwixt each breath you take Shall I find it in your hand Or in every tear you make Will I see it in your face Set within your smile so bright Do I seek it high above 'Midst the stars that shine at night And shall I find it in the air Floating 'cross the azure skies On the wings of ashen doves Or within your limpid eyes Do I hear it softly sigh Through your melancholy days Let me feel it there within See it in your wistful gaze Is it found in silent places In the shadows, black as coal, Ling'ring in the darkness 'biding - Love, sweet nectar for my soul
Archived comments for Where Abides Love's Sweet Domain
Bozzz on 23-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
Val, this is a beauty - great sentiment - immaculate rhyme and rhythm and word choice. Don't know what it scored last time, but I am sorry, I can't avoid awarding a ten. Too bad....David

Author's Reply:
Wow, thanks David, top rating - awesome !
Val :-)))

Corin on 23-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
A beautiful, very classical love poem Val, with perfect rhythm and rhyme. Despite it being in a classical style I was not so sure about the archaisms though, e.g. tarry: β€˜cross: β€˜midst:
Surely you aren’t old enough to have written this in the 19th Century?-)

Anyway, I hope to hear you read your story or poem, At the UKALive Event in London on Saturday September 20th. For full details see:-

http://ukauthors.com/phorum5/read.php?1,219923

NOTE: If you have books to sell bring a few along.

Of course, if you just want to listen to some of the excellent work being posted on UKAuthors you will be very welcome, the more the merrier, and some us may be very merry:-)

Dave

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Corin, and no I 'm not quite that old, though not far off. Guess I just like that kind of verse - maybe I had a previous life in the 19th century !! Must just go and dust off my crinoline πŸ™‚

Won't be there for UKAlive I'm afraid, but I hope you all have a great time.

Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 23-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
I agree with David, beautiful as always Val. I am always worried when all I do is compliment, I just love your easy flowing style; you will just have to put up with it πŸ™‚ Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike - compliments are so tiresome (ha) !!
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 23-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
I never have anything but praise for your poetry Val- and this is no exception. Perfect.

Author's Reply:
Oh wow DP, another top rating - I'm being spoiled !! Thank you so much.
Val πŸ˜€

pommer on 23-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
As perfect as ever.Great choice of words and sentiment.Congratulations. Pommer. x

Author's Reply:
Wow, thank you Pommer for such a great review and rating - I 'm overawed.
Val :-)))

amman on 24-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
Lovely sentiments delivered in your own inimitable style, Val.
Flows beautifully. Not quite sure about 'biding in the penultimate line, but that's probably just me.
Cheers.
Tony.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Tony for commenting, and for the generous rating. Much appreciated. I'll give your crit some thought, see what I can come up with.
Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 24-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
A rose, is a rose, is a rose.
That's that, your Pomes are your pomes Val, Always beautiful.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Paul - much appreciated. My Ebook will be out soon (PDF only), through Lulu. Will do a journal entry to announce its presence in cyberspace for anyone who might be interested !! Β£75 per download ( hehehe joke).
Val πŸ˜€

Pronto on 25-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
Beautifully smooth read sentimental, deeply romantic and all the better for it too Val.
Well done.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pronto for taking the time to read and comment, and also for the generous rating. Always very much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

orangedream on 26-08-2013
Where Abides Loves Sweet Domain
Truly beautiful, Val. Very much enjoyed.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Tina, pleased you enjoyed. I always appreciate your comments - I am not a very confident writer, so your words are always very encouraging.
Val πŸ™‚


Enchantment (posted on: 23-08-13)
Enchantment steals my weary heart .....

Enchantment steals my weary heart When'er I see the golden dawn Which so does set my soul aflame That I should never be forlorn To see the beauty in a smile To feel such magic all around Delights me with the sweetest joy In every sight, in every sound Enchantment plays upon the soul To captivate, such charms convey All heaven's wonders that we see Around us through each passing day Enchantment be the stars that shine Enchantment is the glowing moon Enchantment in the twisting vine Enchantment through the sun at noon Enchantment be the rambling brook Enchantment is the rolling sea Enchantment in the eyes that look Enchantment through the eyes that see

Archived comments for Enchantment
deadpoet on 23-08-2013
Enchantment
You always seem to get rhythm spot on Val.Loved the atmosphere in this poem. dp

Author's Reply:
Thanks again DP, and another great rating - delighted. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 23-08-2013
Enchantment
Hi Val,
Using as much repetition as this is a risky business. If not done well, it can grate and look amateurish.
You have pulled it off with aplomb. πŸ˜‰
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison - this is another older one I hesitated to post, but glad I did now. Not one of my personal favourites, as you say, was a bit unsure about the repetition. But you say it works, so that's great by me.
Val πŸ˜€


Little Yellow Flowers (posted on: 19-08-13)
............ πŸ™‚

Little yellow flowers Dancing in the breeze Little yellow flowers Huddled round the trees Little yellow flowers Seemed to know my pain Little yellow flowers In my memory remain ~~~~~

Archived comments for Little Yellow Flowers
orangedream on 19-08-2013
Little Yellow Flowers
Just beautiful, Val;-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Tina for reading and commenting.
Val πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 19-08-2013
Little Yellow Flowers
Thanks to whoever for the nib - much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

pommer on 19-08-2013
Little Yellow Flowers
A very beautiful little poem. I have some of those in my garden.Thank you for sharing Val. Be lucky, Pommer.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer, pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

deadpoet on 21-08-2013
Little Yellow Flowers
I liked it too.dp

Author's Reply:
Many thanks DP, soooooooo pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€

Nemo on 22-08-2013
Little Yellow Flowers
A skillfully worded, neatly rhymed miniature, ready to be framed, or embroidered on a garden cushion.

Author's Reply:
Thank you nemo - maybe I'll give that embroidery a try.
Val πŸ™‚


I Dreamed of Love (posted on: 19-08-13)
.............. πŸ™‚

I dreamed of love but not like this – a silent heart a frozen kiss vain conceit, deceit words unmeant passion spent. ~~~~~ I dreamed of love the gentle kind – sweet and true to ease the mind unmeasured, treasured soft and pure ever sure.

Archived comments for I Dreamed of Love
pommer on 19-08-2013
I Dreamed of Love
Sweet Val, I love it. Pommer

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Pommer, appreciate.
Val πŸ™‚

deadpoet on 21-08-2013
I Dreamed of Love
My heart ached, just reading this- means it's good. Love the rhyme- so simple yet a poignant message. dp

Author's Reply:
Thanks DP, your comments are always appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 21-08-2013
I Dreamed of Love
Well balance words find dark weighing in against light very nice idea well written. S

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Savvi, and also for the rating. Your comments are always appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 22-08-2013
I Dreamed of Love
As usual I loved your poem, for once I felt a word or two short of perfect; I hope you will excuse my well meaning critique, as one of your fan club πŸ™‚ Mike XxX

Author's Reply:


Silence (posted on: 16-08-13)
An oldish write, which I thought I had already posted, but when I checked through my list of subs, it was not there .....

O listen to the silence So gentle everywhere Hear it, quiet, whispering Yet softly through the air Silence bathes the soul in peace As calm serenity Speaking to the heart through love To soothe and comfort thee None shall e'er be set alone Who yet shall heed its call For, deep within, its murmurs Enrapture and enthral It speaks to all so sweetly Its secrets to disclose It speaks in verses rhyming it speaks in simple prose Silence reigns in solitude And though not ever heard Within the mind it lingers – You'll know each fleeting word
Archived comments for Silence
deadpoet on 16-08-2013
Silence
Very clever Val- Silence leaves room for thought.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again DP.
Val πŸ™‚

mageorge on 16-08-2013
Silence
How to write about silence? Silence is basically the complete shut-down of the mind, not just the ears. (it would be greatly appreciated in our house) You have defined 'silence' perfectly.
Great write!
Regards,
Mark.

Author's Reply:
You'll have to lock yourself in the loo Mark, or don't you get a any silence in their either - ha!! Glad you liked, thanks for commenting and for the generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 16-08-2013
Silence
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Lovely again Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks muchly WFF, this is an older one - my other sub today is new.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 17-08-2013
Silence
A poem is silent until it is read aloud - this one is clever because when spoken it creates an ambience of quietness - exactly as it says on the tin. 'Softly softly catchee monkey.' Love it Val .... David


Author's Reply:
Thank you David - and for your very generous rating. Glad you liked this golden oldie, silence being golden of course.
Val πŸ™‚


Before the Twilight Falls (posted on: 16-08-13)
If sleep should steal your soul, my love .....

If sleep should steal your soul, my love, Before the twilight falls, Then I shall be there by your side When'er the darkness calls. I'll hold your hand and soothe your brow, Your cheek set next to mine, To kiss you long and taste your lips As sweet as vintage wine. And should such darkness fall on you, Within its shadowed space You'll find my eyes there shining bright Upon your ashen face. Know this, my love, I promise that You'll never be alone, My heart will follow as you go Across that stepping stone. Our life shall always be as one, Not ever set apart – Through all my time, I'll ever hold Your mem'ry in my heart.

Archived comments for Before the Twilight Falls
deadpoet on 16-08-2013
Before the Twilight Falls
Lovely Val ...

Author's Reply:
Many thanks DP, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 16-08-2013
Before the Twilight Falls
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Absolutely beautiful Val.
You'll have to get that book done Hen.
Then I wont have to favourite them all.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
So pleased you like WFF, and thank you so much for favouriting. The book is getting near to publishing ...... (I'd do the Jaws music here, but don't know how).
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 17-08-2013
Before the Twilight Falls
Another beautifully worded poem Val. Mike XXX

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

amman on 18-08-2013
Before the Twilight Falls
Sweetly romantic and not a syllable out of place.

Author's Reply:
Thank you amman, and for the generous rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Leila on 18-08-2013
Before the Twilight Falls
Val, I have read a few of your poems and applaud your natural ability. A lovely write favouring a certain genre/era in poetry that will never lose its appeal, in particular its gentle celebration of love.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your lovely comments Leila, which I very much appreciate.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 18-08-2013
Before the Twilight Falls
Many thanks for the nib - delighted.
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 18-08-2013
Before the Twilight Falls
A gem, Val;-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 21-08-2013
Before the Twilight Falls
This is so beautifully written.I read it over and over again,Val.It brought tears to my eyes. It expresses my feelings.Pommer xxx

Author's Reply:


C'est la Vie (posted on: 12-08-13)
That's life .....

Had my fill of the almost empty pot – the residuum is tasteless, unappealing and the staff of life dried and moulded long ago leaving me hungry. Still, there remains a generous dollop of cynicism on my plate which suits my palate especially for the evening meal. C'est la vie …..

Archived comments for C'est la Vie
Weefatfella on 12-08-2013
Cest la Vie
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Aye Val,when you've heard it all before cynicism is all that's left.
Try sometimes though Hen, tae see the funny side.
A whole new world opens up.
Enjoyed yir wee rant.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again WFF - will let you know when the funny side comes along !!
Val πŸ˜€

orangedream on 12-08-2013
Cest la Vie
Like the tone of this, Val. Much enjoyed;-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank,you Tina, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

deadpoet on 13-08-2013
Cest la Vie
There has to be fun, though what is age without being grumpy and a cynic. Very well put and I like the metaphors.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again DP - yes indeed, cynicism comes with getting old and experiencing life. Thanks also for the rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 13-08-2013
Cest la Vie
sometimes you just need to kick something...hard; it makes a change from being kicked yourself. Mike

Author's Reply:
Yes Mike, you are so right - good job I don't have a dog, abhor cruelty to animals ! Thanks for looking in and rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 14-08-2013
Cest la Vie
A good cynic can be immensely entertaining especially if there honed and well practiced. Very good poem. Keith

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Keith, so pleased you liked. And thanks also for your generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

amman on 14-08-2013
Cest la Vie
Well constructed metaphorically moody poem, Val. Perhaps 'dried and moulded long ago' would flow better. Is moulded an actual word in the literal sense or poetic license? Perhaps I'm just being picky 'cos i like the dark, cynical tone of the piece.
Regards.
Tony.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Tony - I am an old cynic !! 'Moulded' in this sense I think is poetic licence, I wouldn't have liked 'dried and went mouldy.' Have made the other change you suggest - many thanks. And thank you also for the great rating.
Val πŸ˜€


When Shall The World (posted on: 12-08-13)
An older write ..

When shall the world in splendour rise To touch those sweet empyreal skies - Above all things in shadows cast As captured there through years long passed. And when shall the world, with eyes that see, Unite as one in harmony - To take his neighbour for his friend All strife and warfare so to end. When shall the world, with hearts that care, Provide for all, its wealth to share - None to suffer deprivation Plentiful for every nation. And when shall the world, with love imbued, Be no more sad, no more subdued - Let happiness surround each day All sorrow thus to fade away. When shall the world in full rejoice And speak out loud with equal voice Then dance in peace and touch the flowers - To celebrate this world of ours.
Archived comments for When Shall The World
pommer on 12-08-2013
When Shall The World
A wonderful piece of poetry,Val.Yes when will" the world jn full rejoice"? We can only hope.I love this well composed thought ful piece of poetry.Thank you Val.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pommer - this is an oldish write, but hope springs eternal as they say! Pleased you liked, and thanks also for your generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 12-08-2013
When Shall The World
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Aye. I can see the Gods screaming at us shouting.
Wondering why we act as we do.
Great poem as usual Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading WFF - best wishes to you and the gods !
Val πŸ˜€

EmotiveSoul on 12-08-2013
When Shall The World
Captivating read, Makes you think. Well written. Daz

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading, rating and commenting Daz, pleased you liked. Thanks also for your generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

ValDohren on 13-08-2013
When Shall The World
Thank you to whoever gave the nib. Much obliged.
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

deadpoet on 13-08-2013
When Shall The World
Well- when we have a little more faith in mankind I say! Very good Val- love reading your stuff as usual.

Author's Reply:
Thank you DP, am delighted you like my little scribbles.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 13-08-2013
When Shall The World
Beautifully written thoughtful poetry Val. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Mike, appreciate your comments as always.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Bozzz on 13-08-2013
When Shall The World
How we all wish to hear the answer "Yes we can" on this one. Well put Val and if not for courage, then for youthful expression of the world's wishes it must deserve a ten....David

Author's Reply:
Youthful ? - I wish!! Many thanks David for commenting and wow for the rating, undeserved but very much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 14-08-2013
When Shall The World
It's all been said here but I could leave without touching my cap your way. For me;

When shall the world in full rejoice
And speak out loud with equal voice
Then dance in peace and touch the flowers -
To celebrate this world of ours.

Is a poem in its own right.

Author's Reply:
Oh well, at least you rated the last verse Savvi, for which I thank you very much, and thank you for looking in, your comments are always appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 15-08-2013
When Shall The World
Another classic from you Val. It reminded me of a hymn.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Alison for reading and commenting, and for your generous rating.
Much appreciated,
Cheers. Val πŸ™‚ x


Pray Do Not Pick The Daffodils (posted on: 09-08-13)
Poem from my archives ...

Pray do not pick the daffodils Their life has just begun, Oh let them live as nature meant, Stood dancing 'neath the sun Nor pluck the roses from their stems For they will wilt and die Oh leave them ling'ring on the tree To grow whereon they lie Each leaf, each bloom, each blade of grass Belongs to mother earth Pray do not take them from the soil Do not destroy their birth

Archived comments for Pray Do Not Pick The Daffodils
stormwolf on 10-08-2013
Pray Do Not Pick The Daffodils
Lovely, another poem i can see in a beautifully illustrated book of poems that people would read to be inspired.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison - written a long time ago.
Val πŸ™‚ x

amman on 10-08-2013
Pray Do Not Pick The Daffodils
Sweet, natural verses. Very ValDoran (compliment).
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Amman - lovely compliment !
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 11-08-2013
Pray Do Not Pick The Daffodils
Hi Val. Delightful 'green' message delivered with your usual finesse - written a while back you say, but still apt. Though being a science man, I am a bit worried about the biological aspects - and humbly suggest that more precise words would improve matters - to my mind anyway......David
In V1 'Still' might be more accurate and sound better than 'stood'... maybe it was what you intended - a typo? e.g.,

"Pray do not pick the daffodils
Their life has just begun,
Oh let them live as nature meant,
Still dancing β€˜neath the sun."

In V2, surely the instruction to leave them in the earth is not exactly what you intend - which is to leave them on the bush and then to match that situation one would have to say 'whereon' instead of 'wherein' e.g.,

"Nor pluck the roses from their stems
For they will wilt and die.
Oh leave them ling’ring on the bush
To grow whereon they lie".


Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting David. It was not a typo, 'stood' was the intended word, as I see them standing there. 'Still' is just as appropriate, but I don't have a problem with 'stood.' Regarding your second crit, I take your point, although I don't think it really matters that much - they are still growing in the earth. I don't particularly like the word 'bush" so I choose 'tree' instead, and have changed it accordingly.

deadpoet on 13-08-2013
Pray Do Not Pick The Daffodils
A lovely nature poem Val- another good one from you- absolutely beautiful. I'd leave all the roses on the tree too.

Author's Reply:
Thank you DP, appreciate your support.
Val πŸ™‚


Time (posted on: 09-08-13)
Tick tock, tick tock

Bang .... Tick tock, tick tock, seconds minutes hours days pass seasons turn years portions of existence melt into eternity

Archived comments for Time
stormwolf on 09-08-2013
Time
A very clever little poem that demonstrates the power and creativity of combining very few pertinent words with a meticulous layout.
This highlights the whole message of the poem and also reminds in the short sharp lines, the ticking clock, as our lives tick-tock into infinity.
When my dad was dying, we bought some things he had always wanted. One was a beautiful wall clock which chimed every quarter of an hour, then full Westminster chimes on the hour.
Sadly, we soon had to dismantle the chiming mechanism....it became too painful for him to see his life flying by in that highlighted way.

The clock remains on the wall and I never engaged the chime again but I think of my dad every time I see it.

A bold poem that again shows you are well able to write in different styles. All power to your elbow!

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison, your comments and rating much appreciated as always. Thanks for sharing your story about your dad, sad yet sweet if I may say so. I have a grandfather clock which occupies the space in the lounge where my much loved parrot used to be - he died back in 1999. Not to be compared with your dad of course, but he was loved as a pet and sorely missed.
Val xx

Weefatfella on 09-08-2013
Time
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Aye Val. what came before though?
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
On that, one can only speculate WFF !! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Val πŸ˜€

chant_z on 10-08-2013
Time
Infinitity is a very long time, especially by the end...

Very strong indeed in its brevity. I never rate as a rule but if I did it would be very high.



Author's Reply:
Thank you chant - am pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€


Halcyon World (posted on: 05-08-13)
Come with me, let's take a ride .....

Come with me, let's take a ride, Swiftly, silently to glide 'Cross the cerulean sky; Above the earth, flying high. Through the air, over the land, Twisting, turning, hand in hand; Then beyond the em'rald sea, Floating, drifting, peacefully. So to ford the bridge of time, Into places so sublime - Leaving all that's done, behind; See the future - in our mind. Travelling on to worlds unknown, Every rock and every stone, Passing there beneath our eyes, Marks the road to Paradise. On and on our way to wend, Every corner, every bend, Leading us beyond the gloom; On to where the flowers bloom. On to where all things are fair, Wearing garlands in our hair; Dancing on the crested clouds, Spread beneath as angels' shrouds. There within a halcyon world, All our dreams to be unfurled - We shall live as spirits born, Heralding a golden dawn. Come with me, let's take a ride, Spanning o'er a deep divide; Such that sets the senses free - Come, O come, just you and me.
Archived comments for Halcyon World
deadpoet on 05-08-2013
Halcyon World
Isn't there room for one more? Lovely trip- Thanks Val.

Author's Reply:
Yes, there's plenty of room for you too DP - thanks for reading and commenting, much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 05-08-2013
Halcyon World
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
A magic carpet Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Yes indeed WFF. Wish I had one !! Thanks again.

e-griff on 06-08-2013
Halcyon World
Very nice evocative.

Just a small thing. I read travelling as trav'ling. Some may do the same and it spoils the rhythm in that line if you do . You might consider actually using it, in which case inserting 'on' after it would keep the rhythm.

Best, johng

Author's Reply:
Many thanks John for commenting - have made that change, thank you for the suggestion. I did wonder about that and how others would read it.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 07-08-2013
Halcyon World
Lovely, Val! I saw it all in my inner vision...just swept up and away!
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Alison, pleased you liked this one, and for the great rating. Delighted.
Val πŸ™‚


Deliverance (posted on: 05-08-13)
The age-old story about the triumph of good over evil ...

Today, I slayed the devil ! I found him skulking in his lair… his eyes burning like the fires of Mordor. I put out the flames with just one steely cold glance stunning him into silence. Then, I recited love poems sang songs about peace and happiness showed him images of starving children. The tears streamed down my face like rain falling upon the ground as a mighty flood stained with the blood of a broken heart. It was too much for him to bear - he dropped onto his knees and began writhing like a snake in the grass. I scratched the sign of the cross upon his forehead and washed away his number with my tears and he groaned like the rumble of an impending earthquake. Becoming still – his face melted like Dali's Stopwatch, his dying breath issuing forth like an icy wind. Today, I slayed the devil ... The birds began to sing a sweeter song than was ever heard before and the sun shone brighter than has ever been known. You will not see him again. He has gone now – disintegrated into nothingness. You may rest in your homes tonight believing he is no more - and dream of a brighter future …

Archived comments for Deliverance
Mikeverdi on 05-08-2013
Deliverance
Bloody Hell! (literally) That is something I would never have expected from you...I loved it Val. There were a couple of words I would have left out, but this would be nit picking. I know you love to rhyme, but you need to write this style more often; your good at this as well. Mike

Author's Reply:
Bloody hell Mike, thanks for such a super review and rating! I agree it needs polishing, and have done a bit - any other suggestions would be welcome.
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 05-08-2013
Deliverance
Wouldn't that be nice if the devil in us were to be slayed! A pleasant intermezzo for me in a jumbled thoughtful morning. Thank you. DP

Author's Reply:
It would indeed, but we can work on it! Pleased you liked DP, and thanks for commenting and rating.
Val -:D

franciman on 05-08-2013
Deliverance
'and washed away his number with my tears'
Such an amazingly fine line, Val.
Like Mike, I too feel there are maybe some unnecessary words i.e. dropped (down)?
Also like Mike, and I have said this before, when you write in a more free form manner your work really sings.
I really enjoyed this.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jim for reading, commenting and rating. As I have said in my reply to Mike, I agree that it needs polishing, which I have done, and dropped the 'down' as you suggest. There is probably room for further improvement, so any other suggestions anyone may wish to offer would be welcome.
Val πŸ˜€

Bozzz on 05-08-2013
Deliverance
A big adventure - your good spirit yielding great results - Bravo Val, stirring stuff.
I tried dealing with an adder that way once. Riding through the wood, my horse stopped suddenly at the snake. I jumped off, found a stick and waved it. But as I bent down to deal with him the horse following behind me bit my bum - angry at the delay. The Devil has many friends. I charge Β£5 to view my scar. L ...David


Author's Reply:
Ouch, bet that hurt !! If we ever get to meet, I'll remember to bring that Β£5, a fair price for a good laugh any day.
Now, back to my poem - thanks for your comment and rating David. Did you spot The Lord of the Rings reference - I'm a great fan you know. Fancy myself as Frodo saving the world........
Val x

Weefatfella on 05-08-2013
Deliverance
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Aye, He's no sae easily killed. You may have stunned him just with these words though Val.
A lovely sentiment and well written.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
No, I'm afraid he isn't WFF, but I'll keep having a go. Thanks for looking in and commenting. Always look forward to your Scottish twang !
Val πŸ˜€

Corin on 05-08-2013
Deliverance
Great Stuff Val - would that evil were so easily seduced. I am hoping to hear you read this at UKALive this year at the Big Green Book Shop in London see:-

http://ukauthors.com/phorum5/read.php?94,219923

Dave


Author's Reply:
Many rhanks Corin. I'm too shy to read out loud, and I don't have the voice for it. Perhaps you could do it for me !!
Val πŸ˜€

cooky on 06-08-2013
Deliverance
I find this an unusual write which begs a question to me. Would the evidence given in this poem be served better if both the Devil and God had been slain. Seems a fairer solution to me as I am not religious. Good writing always makes you think and I like this.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Cooky, and your rating is very generous. Pleased you liked my write. I wrote this as a lighthearted thing, rather than as something deep and thought-provoking. I am not religious either, I do not believe in the existence of God or the Devil, at least not in the religious sense. For me, they are aspects of the human psyche, and my write is about eliminating the base side of human nature, so that the higher self (God?) may prevail, therefore we wouldn't wish to eliminate 'Him' - would we ? Ha !
Best - Val πŸ™‚


stormwolf on 07-08-2013
Deliverance
Hi Val,
I loved the passion in it and the theme too! For me there was something not quite right but don't know if I can explain it properly. πŸ˜‰
I felt that it had too many lines 'telling' what happened which made it a bit stilted for me. ie " I did this etc
If you take out several 'statements' and blend the verses more it will not lose the power of the voice in the poem and give it better flow IMHO
Yes, it would benefit from some extra work but as has been said, many truly fine lines.
You have proven many times now that you can turn your hand to free verse easily with good effect. I just did not feel this one had your usual flow to it.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Alison for your comments and rating. I agree that it needs working on, I wasn't too happy with parts of it myself. Will take a look at it again some time - few difficulties at the moment, so can't get my head round it just now.
Thanks again, always value your input.
Val πŸ™‚

amman on 08-08-2013
Deliverance
Good concept, Val and great layout. Like others I find some unnecessary words. For example 'steely' in the 4th verse, 'then' in following verse. The verse commencing 'It was too much or him to bear' seems a little awkward and cliched but, overall, I liked it. An interesting poem with many fine lines.
Regards.
Tony

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tony for commenting and rating. I have taken everyone's comments on board and will work on it, and maybe resubmit some time. I appreciate everyone's crits as I was not content with it myself. Thanks again.
Val πŸ™‚


Distant Shore (posted on: 02-08-13)
O could it be that we have known .....

O could it be that we have known Such tender love before - That we have loved each other so Upon some distant shore. Within the far and long lost past, Then maybe you were mine - I held you in my gentle grasp, Set in another time. And could it be the Moon above Has watched our warm embrace, And seen us kiss so sweetly in Some other far off place. Beyond the boundaries of time, Perchance our love did grow - For now I love you, as I deem I loved you long ago. And thus when darkness steals our souls I know our love won't die, For it will blossom in the dawn That lights another sky. Don't weep my love, my sweetest love, Forever we shall be Two hearts united through all time, Into eternity.
Archived comments for Distant Shore
deadpoet on 02-08-2013
Distant Shore
Nothing like a beautiful love poem- loved this too. As you gather I am probably your biggest fan on here Val- DP

first line jarred a bit for me??? have known ?? Though it does make sense- just a funny conjugation..

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating dp, and also for being a fan - I am both honoured and humbled. Not sure I agree with your crit though, I don't really see a problem here, but I will give it some thought and maybe do an edit if I can come up with something better. See if anyone else thinks the same.
Val πŸ˜€

Pelequin23 on 02-08-2013
Distant Shore
a romantic journey heartfelt and real

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting Pelequin, and for the great rating. Much appreciated, and am pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 02-08-2013
Distant Shore
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Fantastic again Val.
I believe most lovers feel this, but you have captured it so beautifully.
Incidentally, I'm your biggest fan.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
You are so sweet WFF, and I'm getting a fan club eh, wonderful! To say thank you hardly seems adequate, but thank you, I am so honoured.
Val :-)))

Mikeverdi on 02-08-2013
Distant Shore
I was First!!!!! this was sublime Val, I think one of your best. Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Aww, thanks so much Mike, and wow for the top rating. I had an inkling that you like love poems from your own subs, so I am delighted that you think so highly of this one. As for my fan club, well three is pretty good going, for me anyway. I'm honoured indeed - thank you.
Val xxx

Bozzz on 02-08-2013
Distant Shore
Ah - that feels better...D

Author's Reply:
Oh good, back in the comfort zone then ! Val πŸ˜€

ValDohren on 03-08-2013
Distant Shore
Many thanks to whoever for the nib - delighted !

Author's Reply:

stormwolf on 04-08-2013
Distant Shore
Simply beautiful Val. The perfection of the contruction always makes you a joy to read. The poem could have been 'cheesy' (as so many are along these lines) but your skill kept it on track and the feeling of love in it is tangible.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and for the generous rating Alison.
Val πŸ˜€

ValDohren on 17-09-2013
Distant Shore
Thank you for the nomination.
Val

Author's Reply:


Mirage (posted on: 02-08-13)
There are only shadows, no substance to an evaporating world ...

There are only shadows – no substance to an evaporating world. Time has etched its purpose upon my soul, eroding away all vestiges of hope, and life has written the score of a melancholy tune upon my heart. The way forward is now obscure – for the path is overgrown with weeds and bracken. Yet looking towards the sun, do I see a new dawn on the horizon, a world of promise? Through blurred eyes - a mirage unfolds in the distance.

Archived comments for Mirage
deadpoet on 02-08-2013
Mirage
Hope is vital- glad this ended on a good note Val- Loved it.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again dp, and for your generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Pelequin23 on 02-08-2013
Mirage
hope within the darkness of dispair !

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Pelequin, and for your generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 02-08-2013
Mirage
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Aye no matter what happens in the past Val.
Tomorrow is always a new day,with new opportunities.
Just put your hand out, and let them drop in, remembering to grasp them as they do.
Brilliant as usual, and inspirational...well obviously...
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF, and for your lovely philosophy. So much appreciated, as always, and am so pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 02-08-2013
Mirage
Wonderful Val, as has been said 'truly inspirational' Hope can take you a long way; I should know πŸ™‚ Mike

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks Mike. Yes, we should always have hope, but it is often very difficult to maintain. So pleased you are feeling okay at present, and wish you all the very best.
Val xx

Bozzz on 02-08-2013
Mirage
Hope is secular prayer. Surely it can never entirely disappear in man while life exists. Even the dying hope for freedom from their ailments. Sadly the sun is mere matter that cannot respond - except by shining. Seriously, this is a very well written piece - but I miss your rhyme !!....David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David. Don't fret, there's always rhyme on the agenda! I like to have the occasional dabble at free verse, but invariably find myself falling back into the pit of rhyme, which somehow I just can't help - it is my natural proclivity. Not everyone likes it, but clearly you do, which is just great. As for hope, I think it has its roots in man"s instinct for survival. Thanks also for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 03-08-2013
Mirage
A sad poem with an ending that speaks of a resurrection of hope. Well written with many fine metaphors to describe the transformation from despair and intense sadness to a chink of light in the distance. We all need that to be sure
A fine poem Val
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Alison. Still trying my hand at free verse. Thanks also of course for your very generous rating - delighted.
Val x πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 03-08-2013
Mirage
Thank you to whoever bestowed the nib, much obliged.

Author's Reply:


Gone With The Wind (posted on: 26-07-13)
xxxxxxxxx

Wanting to touch the sky I reached out but it was beyond my grasp. Intangible - like a whisper carried on the breeze. Hopefulness - drifting through the shadows of my mind…. lost in the labyrinth of the present, now gone ... with the wind.

Archived comments for Gone With The Wind

No comments archives found!
Shaded Avenues (posted on: 26-07-13)
Down shaded avenues I wander ...

Down shaded avenues I wander 'Midst the falling Autumn leaves - In solitude to dream and ponder On all which the world now grieves. Sweet melodies have softly faded With the dying of the sun - The paths of joy and love abraded, All things lost and all things done. With tranquil mind and silent yearning For a time when peace shall be - So armed with love and gracious learning, Shall my heart and soul be free. Thus on to distant realms I travel, Searching for a future time When every dream shall then unravel - Splendid, wonderful, sublime. N Ah, be then still my soul forever, No more tossed, torn, nor defiled – All life's vicissitudes to sever, Seeking lands yet fair and mild. Oh, for a land where sunshine lingers, Oh, for a land of sweet repose Where every care slips through my fingers - Peacefully ling'ring at the close.
Archived comments for Shaded Avenues
Bozzz on 27-07-2013
Shaded Avenues
Val, rhyme and rhythm come so naturally to you and the situations you create are so tender and thoughtful. Make me so jealous while I prate about pigeon sex and mundane stuff.
Each to our own I guess. ... David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David, and for the great rating. Nothing wrong with sex and pigeons, I envy your imagination - I struggle with ideas to write about. Your writes make for amusement, and we all need some of that now and again, so keep it coming. Val x

Weefatfella on 27-07-2013
Shaded Avenues
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
As usual Val, Absolutely Sublime.
Weefatfella.


Author's Reply:
Thanks WFF, you are so kind.
Val πŸ™‚

e-griff on 27-07-2013
Shaded Avenues
This is excellent technically, but more importantly, in meaning.
The only slight niggle I have is the line 'seeking a land
...' somehow the comma weakens it for me. 'To seek a land so fair and mild' might do, but it's up to you. It's minor.

Very nice indeed, and worthy of the nom.

JohnG

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting John, and I agree with your crit. I am not happy with that line either. Have changed it to read 'To seek a land that's fair and mild' which I wrote originally but abandoned because it gives an extra syllable - but does that matter, I do try very hard to stick rigidly to correct syllable count. I will give it some further thought. Thank you again. Val πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 28-07-2013
Shaded Avenues
Many thanks for the nib.
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

BoyGaskell on 01-08-2013
Shaded Avenues
love the tempo of this poem, really nice flow to it...very good imagery to it! an enjoyable read!

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and commenting - much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€


Burning Need - sonnet (posted on: 22-07-13)
OMG can't believe I'm still writing sonnets !!

In reverie, I dream that I may write A poem for tomorrow 'fore tonight, But still the words elude my empty mind – I search and search, but such I cannot find. If inspiration yet should come my way, Perhaps then I shall write a verse today Which maybe, come tomorrow, you shall read, So then to satisfy my burning need. But if perchance a verse remains unwrit', Then I shall search my archives bit by bit To try and seek a poem hidden low, A rhyme I wrote a long, long time ago. Alas, such poem yet I can't locate - Therefore my burning need remains unsate.
Archived comments for Burning Need - sonnet
Nemo on 22-07-2013
Burning Need - sonnet
Clever! Yes, we've all done this, I expect, written a poem about not being able to write a poem. Is it strictly a sonnet, I wonder, with rhyming couplets? Like my 'Improper sonnet.'

Author's Reply:
Thanks nemo, and for the rating. Probably an 'improper sonnet' too, but it is just a bit of fun really, so it matters not be it sonnet or not.
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 22-07-2013
Burning Need - sonnet
a fun one Val and good- improper or not. dp

Author's Reply:
Thanks again dp, value your support.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 23-07-2013
Burning Need - sonnet
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Ha! I can't imagine you ever being improper Val. Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Well, you never know - watch this space ! Val


Bluebells (posted on: 22-07-13)
A pretty little ditty, and not very witty πŸ™‚

Oh they are so beautiful Dancing beneath the trees How they captivate my heart Stood swaying in the breeze Tiny bells of sapphire blue Tinkling in the sun A sweet enchanting melody Within my mind is spun I wish that they would linger To charm and bring delight In my mem'ry they will stay This lovely woodland sight
Archived comments for Bluebells
stormwolf on 22-07-2013
Bluebells
Lovely. Reminded me of this pic which I just love.





 photo a549ccba-a853-43c2-b4af-69f9815c57f4_zps09c8f61e.jpg

alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison, and for rating. The picture is beautiful - Bluebells are so lovely, we don't see them often enough these days.

stormwolf on 22-07-2013
Bluebells
oops forgot to rate

Author's Reply:

pommer on 22-07-2013
Bluebells
Beautiful,always loved them. Thank you for sharing,Pommer.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer. Love them too
Val

Mikeverdi on 22-07-2013
Bluebells
I am lucky to live with several woods near that I walk the dogs in, and the bluebells are all over them; its so fantastic to see them. We get the daffodils and primroses as well. Lovely Val xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the rating. I don't get to see them very often, but when I do, I am stunned by their beauty. You are lucky indeed.
Val xx

deadpoet on 22-07-2013
Bluebells
Don't have any bluebells where I live so I'll suffice with your fine ditty Val. Thank you. dp

Author's Reply:
Thanks dp, appreciate your comments and rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Savvi on 22-07-2013
Bluebells
This one tinkles in the sun πŸ™‚ delightful and well written, one small suggestion, I would ask do you need (long) L1, S3 finishing on linger picks out the internal rhyme,bring on the next line anyway just a thought very much enjoyed. best S

Author's Reply:
Thank you Savvi, and for the generous rating. I agree with your crit and made that change. I have also removed the 'But' at the start of the penultimate line. It reads better now - thank you, and glad you liked it.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 23-07-2013
Bluebells
 photo 915e0b75-fce7-4fc2-9921-556099197c13_zps1f6b3c50.jpg
Excellent as ever Val.
My late father's favourite flower, the bluebell. I also love the picture.
Thank you Val, and thank you Alison fur the photie. Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks WFF. They are truly beautiful. I also love the poppy, but hardly ever see them now.
Val πŸ™‚

Pronto on 24-07-2013
Bluebells
Like walking with Wordsworth! Great piccie and sweet poem Val I really enjoyed it.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pronto, glad you liked.
Val πŸ™‚


Evolution (posted on: 19-07-13)
Is man's consciousness evolving ..... ?

All things must change in the fullness of time, and the dawn shall come, albeit in shadowed tones. Seeping into man's being and stealing the darkness, it shall wrest his heart from the grip of death. Lifting the mind above all things set in this baleful world, in its beauty, to be unfurled. The dawn shall come, albeit in shadowed tones.

Archived comments for Evolution
Mikeverdi on 19-07-2013
Evolution
I like this one Val, and I like to see you trying different styles. Its just a thought but on the first bit do you need 'in its coming' it just seems to be unnecessary; as I say its just a thought and its just me πŸ™‚ Mike X

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike. Yes, you are right, that part is unnecessary so I will edit it out. Thank you for your good advice, and also for rating.
Val x

chant_z on 19-07-2013
Evolution
Beautiful writing indeed. The psychology of man can do wonders and you touch upon that very eloquently I think.

Author's Reply:
Thank you chant_z for your comments, which I very much appreciate.
Val πŸ˜€


Fields of Green Velvet (posted on: 19-07-13)
Lay me down gently in fields of green velvet ...

Lay me down gently in fields of green velvet Resting beneath the blue gossamer sky Where I may gaze upon clouds of white cotton Shimmering dragonflies floating on by Mingling there amongst red satin petals Yellow and silver, with gold all around Captured by nature's soft breathtaking beauty Gracing the heavens, adorning the ground There shall I tarry in peaceful devotion Breathing the fresh and sweet pine-scented air Feeling the warmth of the sun cast around me Free from all worry and heartache and care Come, won't you join me, to feel all this splendour There in your mind where such fantasies dwell Dance with me, sing with me, and then surrender Each of your cares, and fall under my spell
Archived comments for Fields of Green Velvet
deadpoet on 19-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
Your poetry appeals to the romantic side of me Val. It's so sublime-this one is so good, the rhyme and rhythm is splendid, the images. I might exchange 'my spell' with 'the spell' as it really is nature doing all the glorius stuff. Just something that struck me. Another cracker- please keep 'em coming. DP

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much dp. Romance feeds the soul, I believe ! Thanks also for your generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 19-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
πŸ™‚ dp

Author's Reply:

Texasgreg on 19-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
Conjured images and took me there, indeed...

Super Job, Val!

Greg πŸ™‚

 photo Gunspincowboy.gif

Author's Reply:
Good to hear from you again Greg. Thank you for commenting, pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 19-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
Bugger! this sounds the place to be. Love it Val, you paint a beautiful picture with your words. Mike

Author's Reply:
Only when its not raining though Mike !! Thanks for commenting and rating, much appreciated as always.
Val πŸ˜€

stormwolf on 19-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
You never disappoint Val.
The title made me want to explore and then I was within the 'spell' alright.
I have no doubt at all, that your poetry put into a book, would bring great joy, comfort and just plain heart-expansion to those reading.
I can see it illustrated and becoming a treasure. Yes, it's maybe not to everyone's taste but neither are many other styles. πŸ™‚
Many just want to be uplifted and attuned to a part of themselves and this is what you do, admirably.

Alison x
Put me down for the first edition.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much for your lovely words Alison. I know it is not your type of write, but that makes your comments even more appreciated. You are very kind. I have an Ebook on the drawing board at the moment courtesy of my daughter who is a Graphic Designer, but she is very busy and can only work on it as and when. Hopefully will get it out eventually, and will post a journal entry when it becomes available foe download. I have called it 'Pink Ribbons' after my poem of the same title, and it will be available through Lulu. Thanks also for the generous rating.
Val x

Weefatfella on 19-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
 photo 5031cf9b-61d2-4fbf-912f-998c505fb4bc_zpsd7cccd97.jpg
Aye I'll huv wan ae then anaw.
Your poetry feeds the soul Val.
Absolutely.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks a bunch WFF. If you read my reply to Alison, you will get info on my proposed Ebook. Just returned from 10 days in your lovely land. Love Scotland, and of course the weather has been fab - no rain !!
Val πŸ™‚

Gee on 20-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
I love your descriptions in this. You really paint a wonderful picture, using all the senses. It made me feel as if I were really there.
Beautifully done.

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks Gee, your comments and rating are very much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

Bozzz on 20-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
Immaculate as usual Val. I think the cows browsing in the next field will be tempted to join you - let alone myself. Love it xxx...Bozzz

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much David, you are very kind. Don't mind you joining me, but not sure about the cows !!
Val πŸ˜€ xx

pommer on 20-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
As good as usual Val. very romantic. I felt like being there .I really love this type of work.Lets have a lot more of the same. Be lucky, Pommer.

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much indeed Pommer, and for the rating. So pleased you like my style.
Val πŸ˜€

ValDohren on 21-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
Thank you to whoever for the nib, much appreciated
Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

Pronto on 22-07-2013
Fields of Green Velvet
Sweet romantic lilting it have everything summer's day read should have. I wish I could set it to music.
Well done Val.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pronto, and I am wowed by your generous rating, very many thanks indeed. So pleased you liked it.
Best wishes. Val πŸ˜€


Joy (posted on: 01-07-13)
To feel the sun upon my face .....

To feel the sun upon my face The dew beneath my feet The soft and gentle summer breeze Her perfume oh so sweet And winter's chill to complement The scorching summer's heat With raindrops dancing on my hands The trickling rambling stream That glints below the shining sun Like diamonds as they gleam And then a spread of bluebells 'neath A brightly spanned sunbeam So sing sweet bird upon the bough And joyous be your song To fill my heart with pure delight Amidst the daily throng Such joys as these are ever found For all the day is long

Archived comments for Joy
deadpoet on 01-07-2013
Joy
Another gem Val- beautiful rhyme- isn't it compliment with an i- what do I know? Love that sun- always..

Author's Reply:
Thank you again dp, and for the rating. It is complement with an 'e' - which means to add to, rather than with an 'i' which means an expression of praise. Thanks for the observation though.
Val :- D


Behold of the Splendid Ev'nin' (posted on: 01-07-13)
............. πŸ˜€

Behold of the splendid ev'nin' At the closin' of the day; The sun is a-slowly leavin' And a-fadin' soft away. The mell'win' night is a-fallin' So deep on the sleepy throng; The birds are a-gently callin' - A-singin' their sweet, sweet song. All heads now are fast asleepin' The land of dreams to abide; All of their secrets a-keepin' As within their beds they hide. So until the bright new mornin' In slumber all shall repose; While awaitin' for the dawnin' When the daylight softly glows. With all of the sunbeams dancin' A-castin' upon the trees; And all of the birds a-prancin' High a-flyin' in the breeze. So everyone then awake'nin' Set to greet the comin' day; Of their secrets still a-keepin' And a-hidin' come what may.
Archived comments for Behold of the Splendid Ev'nin'
deadpoet on 01-07-2013
Behold of the Splendid Evnin
Very good Val- so wonderfully penned- a masterpiece and your usual golden touch- a bit of a romantic style.

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks dp, and for the great rating. Pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€

pommer on 02-07-2013
Behold of the Splendid Evnin
Lovely Val, your usual perfect poem. Lobe it. Pommerxxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pommer, and for your very generous rating. Pleased you liked my little bit of frippery.
Val πŸ˜€ xxx

Savvi on 02-07-2013
Behold of the Splendid Evnin
I love the voice in this Val I ended up reciting this to a blues riff, all you need is a chorus and you have a crackin song A-singing. S

Author's Reply:
Thanks Savvi, I'll have to try that ! Great rating too, thank you.
Val πŸ˜€

Pronto on 10-07-2013
Behold of the Splendid Evnin
Y'know Val I wanted to sing this. Well up to your usual standard.

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks Pronto, and for your generous rating. Pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€


Final Song (posted on: 28-06-13)
Hush my love, don't fret and fuss ...

Hush my love, don't fret and fuss - now there's just the two of us. We'll dream together, here below the darkened sky, the moon's soft glow, as we recall the time, now passed, before there was a shadow cast upon the world that once we knew, when all was well for me and you. Let's gaze into the mirror long, to see ourselves, both sure and strong - there's naught to fear, there's nothing wrong - and we will sing our final song.

Archived comments for Final Song
Corin on 28-06-2013
Final Song
O yes I recognise that feeling! Beuatiful Val and very sad.

Dave

Author's Reply:
Thank you Dave, and for the generous rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 28-06-2013
Final Song
One to savour Val xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike and for the rating. Appreciated as always.
Val xxx

pommer on 28-06-2013
Final Song
Yes. another beautiful sad creation.I understand that feeling.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer, and for the great rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 30-06-2013
Final Song
 photo 5031cf9b-61d2-4fbf-912f-998c505fb4bc_zpsd7cccd97.jpg
Again Val.
A thing of beauty.
We all at least, should be allowed to go with dignity. Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF.
Val πŸ˜€

amman on 30-06-2013
Final Song
This is a lovely, gentle and meaningful poem, Val. Good rhyming (as ever) and rhythm, although 'to see ourselves BOTH sure and strong' seems to serve that rhythm better.
Cheers.
Tony.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Tony. Yes , you are right, and I will make that change. Thanks also for the very generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

stormwolf on 02-07-2013
Final Song
What can I say that has not already been said?
Love conquers all and to know it on this level is a gift.

Sad, certainly but heart-warming too.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Wow Alison, thank you so much, for both your comment and rating.
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 04-07-2013
Final Song
I think you captured this feeling of an ageing couple well Val- very well indeed- just as I imagine it would be. Sad but with so much love. Another of your wonderful creations. dp

Author's Reply:
Many thanks dp, and for the generous rating. You are very kind with your comments, and I appreciate that very much as it is very encouraging to my often flagging confidence.
Val πŸ˜€


I Lost A Lovely Dream (posted on: 28-06-13)
Have you ever had a lovely dream, but couldn't remember what it was about in the morning .....

Oh, somewhere in the deep, dark night, I lost a lovely dream - It drifted through my sleeping hours, Just like a sparkling stream. It left an imprint on my mind, That I shall not forget - Such was the beauty of its form, Upon my heart now set. I've searched within my memory, This dream to now recall - But only shadows linger there, It's gone, once and for all. It melted into vapoured clouds, Then floated far away – Becoming just an image lost, As night turned into day. I know my dream was beautiful, It filled my heart with glee - Oh, that I could recall it now, It was so lov-el-y.
Archived comments for I Lost A Lovely Dream
Andrea on 28-06-2013
I Lost A Lovely Dream
Oh yes, I know the feeling well! Sometimes, you can get back into a dream, but it doesn't always work. Lovely, Val.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea. Pleased you liked. Could do with a dream about some sunshine, I would never want to wake up !
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 28-06-2013
I Lost A Lovely Dream
I know this feeling very well- but the whole feeling of the dream seems to linger doesn't it? Very good- like the rhyme.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks dp, pleased you liked. Yes, it often does linger and we wish we could get it back.
Val πŸ˜€

Bozzz on 28-06-2013
I Lost A Lovely Dream
They say that marmite eaten late brings unforgettable dreams, but there's no guarantee that they are pleasant. Not written on the jar. Bad for the brain to try too hard to get dreams back. Afreud you'll have to let it slide. Your usual sweetness permeates this poem - good rhyme in loving words. ...David

Author's Reply:
Thanks Bozzz. Love the Freudian slip. As for Marmite, never eat the stuff and I don't think I'll bother now.
Val πŸ˜€

pommer on 28-06-2013
I Lost A Lovely Dream
What a lovely poem. I know the feeling .Mind you, some of the ones I have had I do not want to recall.Really well rhymed.It is always a pleasure to read your work. Keep it coming. Pommer. be lucky.

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Pommer, so pleased you liked - sweet dreams tonight !
Val πŸ˜€

cooky on 28-06-2013
I Lost A Lovely Dream
Love the first verse. A lot of quality in this poem.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Cooky for reading and commenting, and also for the generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Savvi on 30-06-2013
I Lost A Lovely Dream
You need a dream catcher place it by your window so when the dream tries to leave the energy stays in the room or not it depends what you believe. You have some delightful lines here and I really enjoyed the idea and the poem. S

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Savvi, and what a lovely idea - a dream catcher. I feel another poem coming on !
Val πŸ˜€


Attar of Roses (posted on: 24-06-13)
A sonnet

I am the perfume full caught by the breeze, the fragrance that drifts through the air - Attar of Roses soft borne on the wind, with Night-scented Stock lingering there. Essence of Jasmine and sweet Columbine is cast all around as I breathe - honeyed Gardenia and scented Sweet Pea, yet soothing all hearts that do grieve. I am the treasure your senses desire, the perfume in floral displays, carried above as pure redolent air - the fragrance in bridal bouquets. I dwell in fair gardens bringing delight, to lighten all hearts each day and each night.
Archived comments for Attar of Roses
deadpoet on 24-06-2013
Attar of Roses
Perfect!

Author's Reply:
Thanks dp, pleased you liked. Thanks once again for your great rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Pronto on 25-06-2013
Attar of Roses
I loved the flow of this piece and I could smell the perfume as I read. Very well constructed Val.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pronto, and another top rating - gee, you're spoiling me !!
Val πŸ˜€

geordietaf on 25-06-2013
Attar of Roses
Lovely lilting rhythm perfectly complements the subject

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks g, and for your very generous rating - much appreciated. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€

pommer on 25-06-2013
Attar of Roses
Another masterpiece Val,Well composed. I would use fully instead of full in the first line. I may be wrong, but I feel it would improve the flow.I could picture it all. Thank you for letting us share. Be lucky,Pommer.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Pommer for both your comments and rating. Not sure about the 'fully' because it adds an extra syllable. Haven't discounted your suggestion though, will just give it a little more thought and see if anyone else has an opinion before I change it. Appreciate your input, and pleased you liked it.
Val πŸ˜€

ValDohren on 28-06-2013
Attar of Roses
Nib much appreciated, thank you.

Author's Reply:


After The Rain (posted on: 24-06-13)
After the rain the air is sweet .....

After the rain the air is sweet, with glistening pools beneath my feet. Raindrops dripping down from the eaves; teardrops slipping off shining leaves. And silken webs with crystals strung, which span across the ivy, hung around the trellised arbours green - a shimmering, luminescent scene. After the rain has kissed the earth, so Mother Nature brings new birth. Flowers bloom with life anew - after the rain the sky is blue. After the rain there comes fresh dawn. After the rain new hope is born. After the rain has touched my soul - after the rain, I shall be whole.Archived comments for After The Rain
Romany on 24-06-2013
After The Rain
Gentle soothing poetry.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Romany.

Bozzz on 24-06-2013
After The Rain
A common scene described with enhancing tenderness and beauty. You always win. xxx ...David

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much David, much appreciated.
Val xx

deadpoet on 24-06-2013
After The Rain
I think the previous two comments have summed it up very well. Your poetry always appeals to me and this one expresses the atmosphere so beautifully. You are quite a master with the rhythm and rhyme. Thank you for an enjoyable read.

Author's Reply:
Thank you again dp for your very kind comments and generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 24-06-2013
After The Rain
I've used up all my adjectives on your poetry Val, enough to say it always leaves me feeling better for reading it. Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Ta very much Mike, and again for the generous rating. We're experts on rain here in the UK are we not - we get plenty of it !! Maybe I should write a poem about wellies.
Val xxx

pommer on 24-06-2013
After The Rain
What a wonderful gentle poem.I always love reading your creations. Well done Val. Pommer xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer, you are very kind.
Val xxx

Weefatfella on 24-06-2013
After The Rain
 photo fd68aa69-bd2a-4057-8056-d78ca32405b1_zps7a968777.jpg
An absolutely beautiful thing.
Always Val.
Your poetry needs no voice to sing.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Oh, thanks so much WFF, I really appreciate your voice, you are so sweet.
Val πŸ˜€ x

cooky on 24-06-2013
After The Rain
A beautiful poem that makes you glad to be alive.

Author's Reply:
Wow thanks Cooky - never thought this one was worthy of a 10. I'm really chuffed. So pleased you liked it.
Val πŸ˜€

Savvi on 24-06-2013
After The Rain
Very soothing piece, I love to listen to the rain drumming on the roof it always seem to have a calming effect. Thanks S

Author's Reply:
Thanks Savvi, much appreciated. Rain is great to listen to, but not to be out in it ! I think we Brits should all be born with webbed feet. - who knows what 'natural selection' may provide us with in the fullness of time !!
Val πŸ˜€

Pronto on 25-06-2013
After The Rain
Wow Val,
The commonplace made extraordinary by beautiful poetic expression. Well done I really enjoyed this work.


Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pronto, and for the top rating - I'm overwhelmed. So pleased this write has gone down so well.
Val πŸ˜€

japanesewind on 25-06-2013
After The Rain
silken webs with crystals strung,
which span across the ivy, hung
around the trellised arbours green -
a shimmering, luminescent scene

Liked this a lot Val.......D

Author's Reply:
Many thanks again David, delighted you liked.
Val πŸ˜€

JackCrowe on 25-06-2013
After The Rain
Yes. The second verse is lovely poetry. Sweet, like the air.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting JC, much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

ValDohren on 26-06-2013
After The Rain
Many thanks to whoever bestowed the nib - appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

Author's Reply:

orangedream on 27-06-2013
After The Rain
Pure poetry, Val;-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina.
Val πŸ˜€

e-griff on 28-06-2013
After The Rain
this was very good . il liked the 'hung' pause . very nice.

the only suggestions (and quite picky) I have are:

ditch the 'to' in flowers bloom (it interferes)

and more technical, ' a fresh dawn' requires a stress on 'a' which is unnatural. 'will come fresh' or ' there comes fresh' would do it perfectly.

JohnG

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting John, much appreciated. I have made the changes you suggested and agree that it reads better now.
Val πŸ˜€


Where the Wild Gulls Fly (posted on: 21-06-13)
O lift me high upon the wind ...

O lift me high upon the wind, To where the wild gulls fly - Above the mighty ocean's swell, Across the sapphire sky. My refuge be the sailing ships Which brave the raging seas, And isles adorned with swaying Palms, My heart to thus appease. Then circling high above the storms Of life's beleaguered trail - O carry me to distant shores, To fly o'er hill and vale. The wild gulls' cry, the sweetest sound, Is calling, calling me - And I shall follow where they lead, To where I shall be free. O lift me high upon the wind, To where the wild gulls fly - Beyond all things that serve to bind, Above the earth, so high. And higher still to realms unknown To mortal man below - Behold the sun, behold the moon, And dawn's soft afterglow. May air as sweet as angels' breath Caress me as I soar - To feel nirvana's soft embrace, Enfold me evermore.
Archived comments for Where the Wild Gulls Fly
deadpoet on 21-06-2013
Where the Wild Gulls Fly
Beautiful- fantastic rhyme and rhythm and such a good story- can see a tall ship and hear the gull's! The simplicity is right up my alley.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again dp, and for the great rating. I thought I had dried up, and then this one popped into my mind and kept me awake all night !
Val πŸ˜€

Pronto on 21-06-2013
Where the Wild Gulls Fly
Very gentle romanticism Val with a smooth flowing lilt to it I loved this one with it's metaphores of afterlife. Very well penned

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pronto, and for your generous rating. Pleased you liked, very heartening to me, and your comments are much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 23-06-2013
Where the Wild Gulls Fly
 photo fd68aa69-bd2a-4057-8056-d78ca32405b1_zps7a968777.jpg
Absolutely!
Wonderful Val.
Excellently written.
Loved it.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks WFF - a new write, kept me awake all night !
Val πŸ˜€

pommer on 25-06-2013
Where the Wild Gulls Fly
Wonderful rhyme and rhythm.My mind often flies on a cloud swept by the wind to places I have known.Loved it. Pommer

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Pommer, and for the great rating. I appreciate your support very much.
Val πŸ˜€


Seasons of Love (posted on: 21-06-13)
Our love came in the gentle Spring ...

                    Our love came in the gentle Spring,                     So sweet and fresh and true - When we were young and unafraid, And all was clear and new. It blossomed in the Summertime, And came to fullest bloom - We lay beneath the Cedar Tree, Our love there to consume. But in the chill of Autumn mist, It then began to wane - No longer did we feel the joy, Nor ever would again. So as the Winter gripped our hearts, Our hands then slipped apart - We said goodbye and turned away, Since love chose to depart. Archived comments for Seasons of Love
Corin on 21-06-2013
Seasons of Love
Sad Val with beautiful meter and rhyme.

Some technical points. I would suggest getting rid of the archaic e'er and the last line seemed a bit weak to me:

No longer did we feel the joy,
Nor ever would again.

So as the Winter gripped our hearts,
Our hands then slipped apart -
We said goodbye and turned away,
Since love chose to depart.

David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David. Have made those changes, and agree that it now reads better.
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 21-06-2013
Seasons of Love
Just love your poetry V. But David may have a point- try it!

Author's Reply:
Thank you dp. So pleased you like my stuff, because I know not everyone likes my style. I have made the changes suggested by David, and think it reads better now. Thank you for your interest, and for your generous rating.
Val πŸ˜€

cooky on 21-06-2013
Seasons of Love
Sad yet beautiful. I like this

Author's Reply:
Thanks Cooky, both for commenting and for your generous rating. So pleased you liked this write.
Val πŸ˜€

Bozzz on 21-06-2013
Seasons of Love
Dear Val, my belief is that we may drift apart, but first consummation is never forgotten - it lingers on and sometimes will return when all else fails ! Guilty yes, I remember mine and am sad because she never married, became a doctor and committed suicide many years ago. A lovely poem - your sadness shared.... X David

Author's Reply:
Many thanks David for your comment and great rating. You tell a very sad tale, and I am sorry to learn of such a tragedy. These are the tragedies of life which many experience. Best wishes to you.
Val

Mikeverdi on 21-06-2013
Seasons of Love
Another beautiful poem Val xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Mike.
Val πŸ˜€ xx

pommer on 24-06-2013
Seasons of Love
What a beautiful composition, Well done Val,Pommer. Be lucky.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pommer, I really value your comments and interest.
Val πŸ˜€ x


Close the Door (posted on: 17-06-13)
xxxxxxxxx

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos Close the door when you leave, place a barrier between our hearts. This night I shall be alone – without tears, without regret. Close the door when you leave, pull it tight and turn the key. I shall soon forget - you and I were never meant to be.

Archived comments for Close the Door
amman on 18-06-2013
Close the Door
Nice composition and clever, succinct words declaring the end of a relationship. 'I shall be alone - as the waning moon' doesn't quite work for me; the tense seems wrong somehow. Great illustration.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating amman. I shall give some thought as to how I might change those lines - many thanks.
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 18-06-2013
Close the Door
Melancholic-short and clear.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again dp.
Val πŸ˜€

Andrea on 18-06-2013
Close the Door
Nice one, Val - sad.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 18-06-2013
Close the Door
Sorry to be late, I like it... but feel that there is something missing. It may be as Amman has pointed out, maybe a bit of 'fine tuning'. Some poems are like that, I have a million πŸ™‚ Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Mike. I have taken on board your crit, and Amman's, and will give it some thought. Haven't come up with anything yet. Bit blocked at the moment !
Val πŸ˜€

ValDohren on 19-06-2013
Close the Door
Have taken out 'as the waning moon" and replaced with 'without tears, without regret.' Think this is an improvement - thank you Amman and Mike. Val πŸ˜€

Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 19-06-2013
Close the Door
Yes Val, I think it works better like this, it was good before; now it's great! Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.

japanesewind on 19-06-2013
Close the Door
Val, I thought you had a good poem within the poem you have written, if you do not like the way I tell you what I liked let me know and I will delete this post. David

This night
I shall be alone –
without tears, without regret.

Close the door when you leave,
and turn the key.

I shall soon forget -



























Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting David. I have no problem with your suggestion and there is absolutely no need for you to delete. I like your suggestion, but just need to give it a little more thought for now. Thanks again.
Val πŸ˜€

amman on 20-06-2013
Close the Door
I like it better now, Val and (with respect to JW) would leave the 3rd verse exactly as it is.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Amman, appreciate your interest.
Val πŸ˜€

ScarsOfSin on 04-08-2013
Close the Door
lovely..takes me to the moment..

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


If (posted on: 17-06-13)
If man would pause to meditate .....

If man would pause to meditate, to look within and seek to find the treasures locked inside himself, in deeper levels of his mind - then silently to comprehend, in tranquil, contemplative mood, the spark of love and peace divine, in calm and blissful solitude - and if perchance his consciousness should grow enough to let him see a vision of a greater love, a flicker of humanity, then maybe he could learn to live in peace, with each and every one, and strive towards a better life when every cry of hate is gone! … When every cry of hate is gone! …… When every cry of hate is gone! …………. When every cry of hate is gone!
Archived comments for If
geordietaf on 17-06-2013
If
An old dream well expressed.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Geordietaf, much appreciated.
Val

deadpoet on 18-06-2013
If
Yes something we all dream of but can't be said enough. Thank you.dp

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating dp.
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 18-06-2013
If
Excellent sentiments, and well written as always. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, this is a very old write, scraping the barrel now !
Val πŸ˜€

pommer on 20-06-2013
If
Well said my friend,I have always been in agreement with the sentiments expressed in this excellent piece of work.Well done.
Pommer.

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks Pommer, and for your generous rating. Pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€


Each One (posted on: 14-06-13)
..............

                   Each one gives, each one takes,                    sometimes loves, then forsakes. Each one wins, each one fails, weighs the cost, tips the scales. Each to come, each to go, rising high, sinking low. Each one came, each one left, hearts to bind, hearts bereft. Each one laughs, each one cries, each one lives, each one dies.

Archived comments for Each One
Mikeverdi on 14-06-2013
Each One
Nice to see you spreading your wings Val, I like it. Mike x

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Mike.
Val πŸ˜€

Andrea on 14-06-2013
Each One
Me too!

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 14-06-2013
Each One
Universal truths here! Nice way of putting them.

Author's Reply:
Thank you DP.
Val πŸ˜€


Dust of Gold (posted on: 14-06-13)
.............. πŸ™‚

It never came as dancing flames To set my heart on fire, Nor did it come as stormy seas That filled me with desire. There was no pounding in my breast, No tingling down my spine; But just a sweet exchange of smiles, Which told me you were mine. Nor did the moon extend her glow Upon your countenance - No stars did ever light your eyes; Enough that you should glance. Such passion never touched my soul That taunts the craving mind; But just a tenderness within, I deemed I'd never find. You did not veil my eyes with mist, Nor take my breath away. Just sweet contentment stole my heart; Now with you, I shall stay. It came, a shimm'ring dust of gold Upon my soul to fall - Transported on a floating cloud, Forever to enthral. And now through life I'll ever walk With you here by my side - Forever I will cherish you, My love and life-long guide.
Archived comments for Dust of Gold
Mikeverdi on 14-06-2013
Dust of Gold
Beautiful... Mike x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for the rating.
Val πŸ˜€

cooky on 14-06-2013
Dust of Gold
Beauty will always fade but your love for her will not. lovely write

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Cooky, and for the very generous rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

Pronto on 15-06-2013
Dust of Gold
Romance and reality harmonised here poet; well composed Val.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pronto for commenting and rating.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 15-06-2013
Dust of Gold
 photo fd68aa69-bd2a-4057-8056-d78ca32405b1_zps7a968777.jpg
Aye Val.
Marvellous.
Love and marriage captured perfectly.
Loved it.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks. muchly WFF.
Val πŸ˜€


The Moon (posted on: 10-06-13)
Beautiful lady, born of the night .....

.                   Beautiful lady, born of the night                     Floating across the ebony sky                    Clothed in soft gossamer, shimmering bright Beneath all your charms, to love and to cry. With threads of silver curled all around Spreading your hair as moonbeams that fall Strands of your glory touching the ground Celestial light, I rise to your call. Heavenly goddess, climbing so high Waxing and waning, queen of the night Longing to touch you, I sigh, I sigh Wonderful vision, ethereal sight.

Archived comments for The Moon
deadpoet on 10-06-2013
The Moon
Absolutely lovely. Very romantic. DP

Author's Reply:
Thank you dp, very much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€


Apollo Sleeps -Sonnet (posted on: 10-06-13)
............. πŸ˜€

The sable sky devours the dying sun Apollo sleeps, thus silent be his lyre, So I shall sleep, for now the day is done And shadows fall beneath the fading fire As Luna softly smiles upon the night Apollo sleeps, with laurel wreath adorned, And darkness takes his place to steal my sight The closing of the day forever mourned For blinded thus, my soul no longer sings (Apollo sleeps, the poet's heart then stilled), All thought has flown upon celestial wings My heart no more to dance, no more fulfilled Apollo sleeps, I pray that he shall wake - My spirit, life, and soul, no more forsake
Archived comments for Apollo Sleeps -Sonnet
deadpoet on 10-06-2013
Apollo Sleeps -Sonnet
I think this is a pleasure to read- so well composed and shows that the sonnet is not dead. Good on you. DP

Author's Reply:
Thank you again DP, and also for the very generous rating. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€


The Willow Weeps (posted on: 07-06-13)
............... πŸ™‚

I sat beneath the Willow tree And cried in sad lament - The Willow wept because I wept; Despaired and discontent I lay upon the clovered grass Enwrapped in fresh, sweet air - The Willow wept, oh how she wept To see me lying there Her tears dripped down from branch and leaf Then touched the moistened ground - The Willow wept, because I wept As there I sobbed and frowned My love, my love has gone away And never to return - The Willow wept, oh how she wept; With me, to ever yearn She touched my face with gentle sway Of boughs that bended low - And then she wept, because I wept; Why did you have to go ? My love, my love has left me now And I am so alone - The Willow wept, oh how she wept; Then watched me turn to stone And now the clover 'round me grows Beneath the azure sky - The Willow weeps, because I wept; Forever here to lie The sun shall burn upon this stone Yet cold I'll always stay - The Willow weeps, oh how she weeps, For here I lie today
Archived comments for The Willow Weeps
Weefatfella on 07-06-2013
The Willow Weeps
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
AW! Val. Fantastic Hen.
I loved this.
Another brilliantly crafted and heart rending piece.
Thank you very much indeed.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Oh, I am so pleased you liked this one so much WFF - its a new write, I sub a mixture of old and new stuff. Didn't think it was up to much really, so am doubly delighted. And thank you so much also for including it in your favs !
Val πŸ˜€

Savvi on 07-06-2013
The Willow Weeps
The meter is spot on and your end rhymes slip by without any bumps, great images and content. I don't normally like repetition but used this way it holds the poem together. Wonderful. S

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much Savvi, always appreciate your comments and support.
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 08-06-2013
The Willow Weeps
Great stuff Val, let's me know what I've been missing; I will try and catch up. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you mike. Hope you are okay.
Val πŸ˜€

deadpoet on 08-06-2013
The Willow Weeps
Wow-such a compulsive read- rhythm and rhyme-spot on and content-like a 19thC poem- I like that. Very good indeed.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much deadpoet, pleased you like the style - not to everyone's taste, but there's always room for variety - after all, it's the spice of life ! Thanks also for the generous rating, much obliged to you.
Val πŸ˜€

orangedream on 10-06-2013
The Willow Weeps
We have a willow in our garden, and this poem is equally as beautiful, Val;-)

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Tina, much appreciated. There is one across the road from us, and we can see it out of the front window, and it is beautiful.
Val x


Sonnet - X (When I am gone do not, my love, lament) (posted on: 07-06-13)
xxxxx

When I am gone do not, my love, lament For I shall find a gentler resting place Beneath the stars where I shall lie content Sweet solitude forever to embrace Then silent be the murmurs of my soul No more to rant and rave at life's unease Nor hear the sombre chime of bells that toll As I am laid to rest 'neath ancient trees Yet I shall not in mildness so depart Nor on the wings of peace address the close A tempest thus shall seize this beating heart Before the sun sets long on my repose ….. With life's completed scroll forever furled ….. I'll wave contempt and scorn upon the world
Archived comments for Sonnet - X (When I am gone do not, my love, lament)
Weefatfella on 07-06-2013
Sonnet - X (When I am gone do not, my love, lament)
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
Absolutely Val. Right back at Ya.
Great Wee Sonnet and up to your still, very high standard. Thank you for sharing Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF - I appreciate your support very much.
Val πŸ˜€

orangedream on 10-06-2013
Sonnet - X (When I am gone do not, my love, lament)
An emotive, well written, sonnet, Val, very much enjoyed.

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina, am pleased you enjoyed.
Val πŸ˜€


My Muse Returned To Stay (posted on: 03-06-13)
A matter of opinion, I suppose .....

Her ashen face upon the pillow lay As then the light about her hair did play Her eyes so glinted with the coming day (Oh joy, sweet joy, my Muse returned to stay) A smile upon her lovely face she bore And thus within my soul her aspect tore O Muse, my Muse, then Phoenix-like did soar Now, as a wraith, she dances in my heart Once more her words of love now to impart No more her soul from mine will ever part Her magic yet again shall cast its spell As inspiration's visions yet compel To fill the page with stories new to tell I pray that she will ever be my guide Set in my heart, my soul, and by my side As one we shall forever so abide Beneath the sun and stars we so entwine O Muse, my Muse, thus now forever mine Within my mind her beauty e'er to shine
Archived comments for My Muse Returned To Stay
Weefatfella on 03-06-2013
My Muse Returned To Stay
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
I'm sort of getting leftovers at the moment.
It's annoying, but I'll take what I can get.
Thanks Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Think mine wants shooting - I'll be laying her to rest soon, I think !!


The Train To Hell (posted on: 03-06-13)
Just a bit of nonsense ...

I caught the train to hell today A dark and bumpy ride So many souls were huddled there Full packed it was inside With men and women, children too, It was a great surprise So many people that I knew Were set before my eyes The train, it trundled 'long the track All screeching at a pace No way was there to send it back Was writ' on every face Their misdemeanours were all marked Wrapped up and fully tagged By Hell's own wardens they were kept And prop'ly neatly bagged: Old Freddie boy who shot his wife ''Because she gave me so much strife'' And little Johnny (heard his cries) Because he plucked the wings off flies O then there was that sad old dame Who spent her whole life on the game Old Joshua, without remorse, Had cruelly battered his old horse With head in hands, a guy called Frank Had meanly robbed a village bank And then a pensioner he mugged Because, he said, that he was drugged And then there's me, Oh such a crime, I wrote a verse that didn't rhyme And furthermore, I don't see fit, The rest of it I should admit Clickety-click along the lines Still puffing out its steam That poor old train came to a halt Thank God, it was a dream !!
Archived comments for The Train To Hell
admin on 03-06-2013
The Train To Hell
I reckon you and the sad old dame should be let off the hook πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you admin, whoever you are, especially for letting me off the hook.
Val πŸ˜€

Weefatfella on 03-06-2013
The Train To Hell
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
Aye Val, put the asbestos drawers back in the wardrobe, but don't throw them out just yet.
I might need them.
Weefatfella

Author's Reply:
Okay WFF, I'll keep them on hold !!

Savvi on 04-06-2013
The Train To Hell
I enjoyed this one Val, good images of the dead, the verse bounces along like a train down the track. S

Author's Reply:
Thanks Savvi, pleased you enjoyed.
Val πŸ˜€

Pronto on 05-06-2013
The Train To Hell
Bejaysus if everyone went to hell for these wee misdemeanours sure there'd be no one in heaven I'd have a drink with. πŸ˜‰
Great witty write Val well done!

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pronto, and for your very generous rating? As for Heaven, we two could have a drink, couldn't we ?
Val πŸ˜€

freya on 06-06-2013
The Train To Hell
Jaunty and amusing, Val. Have to admit, breathed a bit easier when I came to the last line, though! A lot of fun to write I bet. Shelagh πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Shelagh - a lighthearted write, yes, and I am pleased you liked.
Val πŸ˜€

shadow on 08-06-2013
The Train To Hell
Good fun - but was it a dream? Maybe it was a vision? Aaargh!

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting shadow - it was neither dream nor a vision, just imagination!
Val πŸ˜€

Mikeverdi on 10-06-2013
The Train To Hell
Another new slant to your writing, I loved it. Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike - wrote it a while ago, just a bit of fun.
Val xx


My Muse, She Died Today (posted on: 31-05-13)
Otherwise known as writer's block .....

Her ashen face upon the pillow lay As then the light upon her hair did play With sadness borne, my Muse, she died today Her words did flicker with the dying light O sorrow, sorrow, now shall be my plight To ever seek her in the blackest night No more to hear her whisper words of love Nor inspiration sent from heav'n above My empty mind and heart no more to move O Muse, my Muse, in darkness now I 'bide My soul consumed forever by the tide And how I long with thee to e'er reside Where now to find the magic I once knew When to my heart and soul she was so true O gone forever her encircling hue O Muse, my Muse, I beg for your return That in my thoughts you yet again shall burn O Muse, my Muse, for you I'll ever yearn
Archived comments for My Muse, She Died Today
Weefatfella on 31-05-2013
My Muse, She Died Today
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
It's true Val.
Mine is gone also.
The Tax-man has buggered off with her.
Weefatfella

Author's Reply:
Good job the Tax-man only ran off with your Muse and not your hard-earned cash WFF !!
Val

admin on 01-06-2013
My Muse, She Died Today
Looks like she's been resurrected - lovely, Val!

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and rating, much appreciated. She has indeed been resurrected - watch this space !!
Best wishes.
Val

orangedream on 01-06-2013
My Muse, She Died Today
An inspired poem, Val. As ever, very well written.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Tina, you are very kind. There is a follow-up, next subs.
Val


How Lovely (posted on: 31-05-13)
How lovely is the summer breeze .....

How lovely is the summer breeze That whispers through the leafy trees Then, graceful, drifts across the land Through blades of grass yet gently fanned How beautiful are eyes that shine With joy and peace, and love divine To thus enchant each sorrowed heart With benediction to impart How wonderful the evening mist (Within its veil two lovers kissed) Then o'er the land to linger there As wraith-like curtains in the air Amazing are the birds that sing So elegant upon the wing Above and in the sky so sweet Then softly each new day to greet How blissful is the fireside glow Whilst all about is set with snow To feel its warmth upon your face As if enwrapped in love's embrace Magnificent the mountain stream Cascading down to pastures green Glistening in the noon-day sun As threads of gossamer unspun How sweet the scent of autumn rain To drench the land which so again Replenishes the arid earth And brings all things once more to birth How glorious, how wonderful How beautiful, adorable Life's pleasures such as these to know Which through our lives forever flow
Archived comments for How Lovely
orangedream on 01-06-2013
How Lovely
Impeccable writing, Val. My favourite stanza has to be this one:-

"How wonderful the evening mist
(Within its veil two lovers kissed)
Then o’er the land to linger there
As wraith-like curtains in the air"

Very much enjoyed.

Tina



Author's Reply:
Thanks again Tina, so pleased you enjoyed.
Val πŸ™‚


Becoming (posted on: 27-05-13)
Can you remember your development from a single cell to its completion as a fully developed human being - no ? Then join me on my imaginary journey to find out .....

It was dark, I was immersed in a fluid world, so small within its depths. Beyond the boundary, muffled sounds soft and tender, could be heard. Sighs, laughter, and I longed to see from where they came, yearning for sight to penetrate opaque lids. But all that could be seen were shadows – shadows, like phantoms drifting through a sea of calm. In the distance could be heard a hypnotic tick tick tick, marking time it seemed - my time, here, within. But what of time: was there a beginning, or an end ? Suspended in peaceful unknowing, I was rocked, by the gentle sway of my world, into a silent slumber. All was well in this universe, where quiet waves licked against unseen shores. But there was a storm unfolding. A turbulence began to envelop me; I was surrounded with its torment - undulating, seizing, pushing - and I felt the first pangs of fear pulsating through my being. Then, bewildered and disgruntled, I emerged from the darkness, kicking and screaming into the light.
Part 1: Ovulation / Fertilisation I 'knew' nothing of my true beginnings – how could I, for I was a mystery, a mystery yet to be revealed. So where do I begin to tell the story of my existence. Many believe that my origin was set beyond this universe, in the wider cosmos which embraces all of creation, and that I was rooted in the stars, the stars being the source of the DNA that is at the very core of my being. I can now only speculate and consider that I had descended through the chaos generated at its inception, was then carried by the ether, and in the fullness of time, silently and in solitude, was laid in the cocoon in which I found myself. I was so very, very small – a microcosm within a larger world of which I was totally unaware. My existence thus far had seemed so insignificant, and it felt as if I was in a state of suspended animation - waiting. I had been 'waiting' for such a very long time, it seemed, but I could not comprehend the reason for my waiting, if indeed there was a reason. But then, suddenly, and without warning, it happened - an explosion. It was an explosion which catapulted me out of my cocoon into what appeared to be the vastness of space, but which soon changed as it began to assume the likeness of a dark tunnel down which I was being propelled. Where I was going, I did not know. I had entered a new world, on another journey, but was unaware of my destination. It was during this journey that something strange started to happen. I was not alone. There, in the darkness, I could sense a presence, a presence akin to a swirling mass, a flood or vortex which seemed to contain others like myself, yet not like myself. I was afraid, not knowing if they were benevolent beings or hostile entities, which were invading the new world in which I found myself. They 'swam' closer and closer until I was surrounded. My fear then became all-consuming, but it was temporary and would not last for long. At that moment, I started to tremble and then I felt myself spinning, round and round and round. I then realised that I was in the midst of this vortex, and it was the intruders who had initiated the spinning. It was not an unpleasant experience for it felt as though I was surrounded by soft feathers, feathers which were brushing past and around me, nudging me softly and tenderly, and almost lulling me into sleep. Slowly, I was becoming transfixed during this 'assault' on my being, an 'assault' which I found to be extraordinarily gentle, and the fear that I had felt began to evaporate – I was floating, and slipping into a hypnotic slumber. But then, and suddenly, I was aroused from this impending sleep when I felt a piercing sensation. It was as if one of those 'feathers' had inserted its quill into my very core. I instinctively 'knew' that its purpose was to bring about change, and I was filled with trepidation. I 'knew' then that I was going to change into something much greater than that which I was, and something far greater than the sum of its parts. But I also 'knew' that such change was necessary, it was meant to happen, as the alternative would have been certain death. The spinning continued following the 'piercing' of my being. Then came a strange feeling, a feeling that I was being torn apart. It was as if my entire self had been split asunder, and then split again, and again, and again. I wondered as to the purpose of this 'dividing,' and what was happening to me. What was I becoming? I was indeed changing, but I did not understand. Oddly, it also seemed that I was no longer the incomplete entity that I had always felt myself to be – I was not the solitary being I was before. I had become aware of a feeling of totality, of becoming whole, for until this time, I had always 'known' that a part of me was missing. This engendered an all-pervading sense of satisfaction and I 'knew,' deep within, that somehow I was attaining the purpose of my existence and fulfilling the potential within me. I knew nothing of my appearance following the many divisions of myself, but I imagined or sensed that I resembled a collection of tiny shimmering pearls, and that these pearls were bound together by love. I 'knew' about love from my cocoon days, and before when I was a part of a larger world, and through my connection with a cosmos far greater than myself, and which is the fount of all knowledge. Love is the binding force that holds everything together and repels anything which attempts to disturb its purpose. Consequently, I realised that whatever was happening to me was born out of love and therefore had to be a good thing. Still travelling, moving down that long dark tunnel, eventually my journey came to a halt, and I felt the gentle undulations of a new environment enfolding me within its grasp. It was warm, so warm, and soft like a down-filled pillow, and my fears were allayed in this, my new home where I had become implanted, for it was beautiful. Time passed as I rested in my Garden of Eden, in my innocence – there was nothing to disturb my tranquillity here I thought, nothing. Suspended in peaceful unknowing, I was rocked, through a gentle swaying of my world, into a silent slumber. I began to sleep a sleep of deep contentment, unaware of what was to become of me. Part 2: Development It was dark – I was immersed in a fluid world, so small within its depths. I could sense that my environment was like an ocean in which I was suspended, but I was also aware of being tethered. I was still going through the process of division, but somehow this had become more tolerable now, more acceptable, almost natural it seemed. All was well in this universe, where quiet waves licked against unseen shores. On and on it continued for what seemed an eternity. It was a state of 'eternity' that had existed for me prior to my days in the cocoon, yet I did understand the concept of time, time as measured by the cosmos, the cosmos being my place of origin. During this period, points of differentiation, such as a rounded mass which appeared to be located at the upper part of my being, started to develop. There was also a flexible rigidity that, I noted, gave added strength to my previously loosely bound-together self. I continued to grow, swelling and unfolding like a rose unfurling its petals. I 'knew' about flowers – this knowledge had always been within my unconscious 'knowing,' that is to say, within that deep ocean of experience into which I had always been able to tap. I 'knew' that roses were beautiful, and therefore that I was also beautiful. I fell into sleep, contented. I was awoken from my sleep by a gentle pulsation deep within my being, but which was only just perceptible. It resembled a steady beat, beat, beating sensation. Beset with wonder, and bemused by this further aspect of my changing, I pondered upon its significance. Somehow, I 'knew' it was essential for my continued survival, and therefore it was not something of which to be afraid. I was also aware of changes which had taken place both within and upon the rounded area to which I have already referred. Two small apertures developed, one on either side, together with two 'circles' which were side by side with a small raised area between them. There was also a fissure that I could pucker and stretch. I was confused and perplexed for I did not understand the significance of this – yet. I also became aware that four tiny buds were forming, developing out of myself. They began to flicker and twitch - I 'knew' that they had a purpose, although I did not yet know what that purpose was. The buds continued to grow and become stronger – eventually I became able to move them of my own volition, though not with intent of course. I was stirred and excited by this 'quickening' and vivacity, which was so much beyond my understanding, but I comprehended that I was not inert, I was alive – I was alive and realising my potential. In the course of time, further smaller protuberances started to appear on the tips of the buds already in place, twenty of them in total, five on each limb. There were times in my world when I felt some degree of discomfort or agitation, and I discovered that if I inserted one of these protuberances into the fissure of which I had become aware, this action would trigger the fissure to begin undulating around it. This instinctive behaviour proved to be very comforting and I knew it would bring to me a much desired feeling of solace in future times. I did not know why this should be, I just 'knew' that it was. It was an activity that would occupy me for a long time to come, such was the pleasure that it brought. It was only in the fullness of time that I realised that the process I was experiencing had continued then for nearly three months – three long months, as counted by the sun and the moon. It seemed to me that my changing self was nearing completion - a new sense of wholeness embraced me, and I smiled by stretching the fissure – yes, I was able to smile, but I did not 'know' the reason for my smiling. I did not 'know' that, later, when it became purposeful, there would be a feeling called 'emotion' that would become the trigger for it to occur. I did not, at this time, 'know' about emotion, although something deep within my being told me that I had known about it a long, long time ago, and that it could be both distressing and beautiful. As time progressed, I became further aware of a presence within the rounded area that constituted the upper part of myself. Although it was not palpable, I 'knew' of it existence because of an expanding consciousness which enabled me to sense things, things that I had not been able to sense previously. Beyond the boundary of my fluid world, muffled sounds, soft and tender, could be 'heard,' such as sighs, laughter, and a soothing 'thump thump thumping' which brought me great comfort. I hoped this would continue indefinitely, indeed forever (what did 'forever' mean – I felt I should know, but I didn't. Was it the same as eternity?). I also heard music – I 'knew' about music from my time in the cosmos when it drifted through the universe as beautiful, stirring vibrations, and I recognised the strains of Beethoven, Bach, Sibelius etc, 'knowing' that I had met them before. I longed to 'see' from where these sounds came, yearning for such sight to penetrate the opaque lids covering the two small circles which were situated on the rounded area, as previously described. But all that could be seen were shadows – shadows, like phantoms drifting through a sea of calm. In the distance could also be heard a hypnotic tick, tick, tick, marking time it seemed – my time, here, within. But what of time, was there a beginning or an end? Although I had 'known' about the concept of eternity, it was gradually slipping away from my consciousness as my 'becoming' progressed and moved towards fulfilment. There were occasions when a gentle pressure was exerted upon me from beyond my world – it was as if my existence needed to be verified and monitored by some source outside of myself. Could it be that I had assumed some degree of importance or value, and that love and care had entered into my world? Love was a concept I had always instinctively 'known' about, but until my changing, I felt I had never experienced it before, or at least it was not within my then memory-scale to recall. It was wonderful and beyond description, and I 'knew' that I was wanted. Part 3: Birth Over time, I began to feel my fluid-filled world closing in on me, becoming smaller. Moving became difficult, and I realised that it was myself who had grown so large, so large that I was filling the space that was my universe. I felt a compulsion to twist and turn myself so that I was facing downwards, but without knowing the reason for this other than that this was something I had to do. Then a sense of apprehension and foreboding came over me, for there was a storm unfolding. A turbulence had begun to envelop me, and I was surrounded by its torment – undulating, seizing, pushing – and I felt the first pangs of fear pulsating through my being, and which felt like electricity surging through me. I also realised that my fluid world had dissolved around me – my protective environment had fallen away and I felt bereft of its soothing presence. Outside of my world, I heard a great deal of disturbance – there were sounds I had not heard before, distressing sounds like groaning and shouting. And 'voices', so many voices. One of these voices I recognised, as I had heard it so often whilst within my protected world. It was sweet and gentle, and I 'knew' that it would be important to me for a very long time. The squeezing and pushing of my small being seemed to go on forever, until eventually, both bewildered and disgruntled, I emerged from the darkness in which I had been surrounded. Kicking and screaming, I entered into a world of light. The warmth and the comfort I had known thus far was gone, and the brightness that I encountered triggered an unpleasant but temporary sensation of disquiet and unease, although this was soon to be dispelled. I then heard a voice say ''Well done Mum, you've got a beautiful baby ........ " and the tether to which I had been connected was also released. I 'knew' then that I was a free individual, though not yet independent. I had become what I was always intended to be. There was light all around me, but I could not see clearly. The opaque lids, which had been closed for so long, were reluctant to open. But soon, very soon the blurred sight began to clear a little. The vision I then encountered was beautiful beyond description, and which I 'knew' I would never forget. At the same time, I felt a warm enfoldment around my body – I was held and caressed by another environment. I wondered what the word ''Mum'' meant, but I 'knew,' deep inside, that it was a wonderful word and one that would stay with me for a very long time. I then felt droplets of warm fluid falling onto my 'face.' They seemed to flow from two dark pools which were fixed upon me, and the fissure, which lay beneath them, grew wider and wider, becoming closer, closer and closer, until it touched my face – I didn't know it then, but I was being kissed. I 'realised' that these features were those which were also set upon my own form, and that I had now become aware of some of their purpose. It had been a long journey, but I had arrived at my destination both happy and content. The changing was now complete, and I was tired, so very tired, and all I wanted to do was sleep …….and forget. But the forgetting never came, as I remember to this day the process of my 'becoming,' and I feel that, somehow, this was not meant to be. But my 'becoming' was over, and I 'knew,' not through words or conscious knowledge, rather instinctively, that I was the keeper of the greatest secret of all – the secret of life itself. I 'knew' also that it was part of my destiny to perpetuate this process, for I am a girl, and I carry within me the seeds of future humanity. I also 'knew' that I had many other tasks to fulfil, things to learn, and a balance to redress following on from previous existences. And furthermore that, beyond a time-scale which is incomprehensible to mankind, I would return to my origins, to where I had always existed in a state of potentiality. I would once more reside amongst the stars, as part of the all-embracing cosmos, 'knowing' that the cycles of life will continue, for when it comes down to basics, we are all just a collection of atoms and molecules, and it has been said that ……                                          * ''Energy (Matter) cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be                                              changed from one form to another.''                                                                                                                (Albert Einstein) (* Matter can be converted to Energy, or vice versa. Einstein's Formula E=mc^2).
Archived comments for Becoming
Weefatfella on 27-05-2013
Becoming
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpgAbsolutely riveting stuff.
A great take on the most important thing in this our universe, the creation of life itself.
Well done Val.
I love the the way you allude to reincarnation.
My daughter is five months pregnant at the moment.
Up to four months I was getting updates from the size of a full stop to the size of a lemon. I really enjoyed this. Thank you Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF. This is my first story (may be the last!), just got the idea so thought I would have a go. Pleased you liked. Congrats on your forthcoming grandparent-hood.
Val πŸ˜€

orangedream on 28-05-2013
Becoming
This is wonderful writing, Val, about a wonderful, if not miraculous thing. You have a gift for prose, shame not to use it more;-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina, I very much appreciate your kind comments.
Val πŸ˜€


Sonnet IX (Ah, how thy beauty steals the gentle dawn) (posted on: 27-05-13)
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Ah, how thy beauty steals the gentle dawn And full compares to twilight's tender glow Thou art as sweet as summer's golden corn And pure as winter's soft untrodden snow Thy loveliness is captured in thy smile Within thine eyes, as diamonds set in gold Forever then all hearts to thus beguile O thou art yet so lovely to behold Thy countenance delights the sorrowed heart All melancholy thus to chase away I pray thy beauty never shall depart Forever to enchant throughout each day ….. Thou art a vision fixed within the soul ….. That I perchance forever shall extol
Archived comments for Sonnet IX (Ah, how thy beauty steals the gentle dawn)
Shywolf on 29-05-2013
Sonnet IX (Ah, how thy beauty steals the gentle dawn)
What a lovely Shakespearean sonnet. It appears I'm not the only one with a divine taste for the classical. I like such forms and congratulate you on a first class showing. And beauty is a most appropriate subject for your skilled treatment.

If I may make a few suggestions purely as food for thought (please forgive my shorthand):

Forever then all hearts to thus beguile > Forever then must all hearts you beguile
O thou art yet so lovely to behold > Yet thou art so lovely and to console
Thy countenance delights the sorrowed heart > Thy countenance delights my sorrowed heart
All melancholy thus to chase away > And all melancholy is chased away
I pray thy beauty never shall depart >How I pray thy beauty never depart
Forever to enchant throughout each day > But enchant me each and every day
….. Thou art a vision fixed within the soul > Thou art a vision fixed within my soul
….. That I perchance forever shall extol > That perchance my eyes did behold

Well done, Val. I hope to see more in the future.

Glenn



Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Glenn, which I very much appreciate.
I am undecided as yet regarding your suggestions, but will give them some further thought.
I am pleased you like the more classical style of writing, as I do myself, although I have recently
had a go at more modern writing too. Thank you again for your interest.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ˜€


I Knew A Song (posted on: 24-05-13)
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.          I knew a song,           a long time ago. Such a lovely song - about love, and hope, and trust. The words echoed through my mind, and the music, the music captured my heart and set me dancing with joy. It was such a beautiful song - about love, and hope, and trust. Yes, I knew a song, but time has passed and I no longer remember the words … or the music.

Archived comments for I Knew A Song
orangedream on 24-05-2013
I Knew A Song
Liked, Val...and I know the feeling, only too well;-)

Tina x

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Tina - a sentiment many are familiar with methinks !
Val πŸ˜€ x


A Maiden's Plea (posted on: 24-05-13)
The first few lines came to me as I was lying in bed, so I jotted them down and completed it the next day. What a silly little poem I thought, but a poem nevertheless, so here it is - just an old fashioned little ditty .......

O gentle as you please, my love, I am yet still a maiden And 'though I yearn to know your will My heart is heavy laden For if I choose to lay with you I deem that we should marry As you would be the father of The child that I may carry I will not live a life of fear Insulted and derided And labelled as a worthless whore Forevermore chastis'ed So if you will not marry me By you I'll not be bedded A maiden I shall stay, my love, Until the day I'm wedded
Archived comments for A Maiden's Plea
Bozzz on 24-05-2013
A Maidens Plea
Dear Val, in business this would be deemed a "Statement of Intent", in today's society quarters - an expression of pious hope ! Good luck either way..XXX..David

Author's Reply:
Thanks Bozzz, I'm passed it anyway !!
Val πŸ˜€

orangedream on 24-05-2013
A Maidens Plea
Old fashioned, or no, Val, I liked this. You kept the rather 'quaint' style going beautifully, throughout. Much enjoyed...and silly, most certainly not.

Tina:-)x

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Tina. Pleased you liked my little bit of nonsense !
Val πŸ˜€ xx

amman on 26-05-2013
A Maidens Plea
This virgin ode is quaint indeed, Val, but enjoyable for all that.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Thanks amman.
Val πŸ˜€

Andrea on 26-05-2013
A Maidens Plea
Well, I think it's lovely! Very middle-ages πŸ™‚ And remember to get your anthology votes in, too!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, so glad you liked. Have used five of my votes, another five still to get in. Will do soon.
Val

Ionicus on 30-05-2013
A Maidens Plea
It sounds to me like a case of 'vorrei e non vorrei', I would like to but...
She better make up her mind or she'll remain a maiden forever.
A quaint ditty highlighting a virgin's dilemma.

Author's Reply:
I think she has made up her mind Luigi !! Thanks for commenting and rating, much appreciated as always.
Val πŸ˜€

Hekkus on 31-05-2013
A Maidens Plea
Old fashioned maybe, but readable and well crafted.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Hekkus, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Cotton Candy Trees (posted on: 20-05-13)
The end of all things (free verse) ....

         No more, those blissful days            when we watched cotton candy trees blossom in the Spring, listened to the trickle of silver streams and the whisper of the wind through tall grasses. All was well with the world and life was full of promise. But it's an ill wind that blows now, stirring my soul with bleak despair. Everything comes to an end, and I can see it in your eyes. We are left with only an empty silence, each with our own thoughts. It's the end of all things - of all things that we once knew. You are leaving ... but I will follow you.

Archived comments for Cotton Candy Trees
Savvi on 21-05-2013
Cotton Candy Trees
This is puts over that sense of loss you get when something just right that has been good for a while comes to an end, you capture it just right, I also like the twist or open question of why would you follow if its over ? answer because its not over its just the end of something that was perfect for a moment in time. Very much enjoyed S

Author's Reply:
Thank you Savvi for commenting and rating so highly. The poem is really about loss through death, and the surviving partner's belief that he/she will follow in the fullness of time. So pleased you enjoyed reading.
Val πŸ˜€

stormwolf on 21-05-2013
Cotton Candy Trees
I take my hat off to you Val. You have got it in spadefulls.
The last two lines are not only poignant but telling of her devotion. The spacing of those lines adds so much to the poem. I really do feel that layout can make or break a poem.

I would have broken the second line up
blossom in the Spring,
only to give the layout balance
Typo But its (it's) an ill wind that blows now,

All was well with the world
and life was full of promise.

But its an ill wind that blows now,
stirring my soul with bleak despair.

boy can I ever relate...:-(
I am getting boring with my ratings but I really love your work, I think you have totally expanded and broken through any barriers you may have self-imposed on yourself.
I think you can see now that your work is valued and enjoyed and continues to grow.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Alison for your very encouraging comments. This style of writing is of course very new to me, and so therefore I do feel as if I am poking around in the dark, so to speak. This particular write has personal significance for me, and was inspired with that in mind (I will pm you to explain). I do appreciate your support, and I have taken your suggestion on board and edited accordingly.
Thanks again. Val x

Andrea on 21-05-2013
Cotton Candy Trees
Absolutely wonderful Val!

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Andrea - pleased you liked.
Val -:D

stormwolf on 22-05-2013
Cotton Candy Trees
Into favs!

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Alison - I am honoured indeed.
Val -:)

Bozzz on 22-05-2013
Cotton Candy Trees
The wind of change is sweeping you along happily, but the meat may not alter - just the way of cooking - it if you follow me. This is good, Alison is right. XXX David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David, and yes, I do know what you mean. Generous rating duly acknowledged.
Val xxx. πŸ˜€


Sonnet - VIII (O carry me above this plaintive earth) (posted on: 20-05-13)
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O carry me above this plaintive earth Where'er there be a sweeter dwelling place To touch the distant harbour of my birth As fixed beyond all mortal reach of space Across the boundless oceans of all time Above creation's full encircling spheres Far upwards shall I ever seek to climb Transported thus away from worldly fears Yet still I tarry 'neath the sapphire skies In earthly shackles theretofore entwined With yearning for such freedom in these eyes As in the world this soul be yet confined ….. Above, beyond, my heart does so desire ….. To fly, to fly in splendour, ever higher
Archived comments for Sonnet - VIII (O carry me above this plaintive earth)
JackCrowe on 20-05-2013
Sonnet - VIII (O carry me above this plaintive earth)
I love sonnets but find them a real challenge to write. This one is lovely and makes me want to have another go myself. Thanks for the inspiration.

Author's Reply:
Thank you JC. Sonnets are not everyone's choice, so it is good to know that some do like them. Your comment is very encouraging. I have posted another seven sonnets on this site, which you may like to read also. Much appreciated.
Best wishes. Val πŸ˜€

stormwolf on 21-05-2013
Sonnet - VIII (O carry me above this plaintive earth)
Absolutely beautiful Val. You are the 'sonnet queen'
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Wow, thanks Alison - does this really deserve full marks ! So pleased you think so, I'm delighted.
Val x


Shattered (posted on: 17-05-13)
Do not leave a heart that's shattered .....

Do not leave a heart that's shattered - Shards of glass upon the floor Lying there, profuse and scattered, Splintered soul, bereft and sore Broken hearts cannot be mended In a moment's fleeting time Months or years they need be tended 'Fore they rise again to shine Serve it well with tender feeling As it be your very own Thence it would require no healing Nor yet dwell for'er alone Love and care is ever needed Words and actions given free Faithfulness should too be heeded - Hearts belong to you and me
Archived comments for Shattered
orangedream on 17-05-2013
Shattered
Sentiments to be applauded, Val, and my 'thought for the day', most certainly.

Tina;-)

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Tina, much appreciated.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 19-05-2013
Shattered
Lovely...

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Alison, and for the rating.
Val x


I'm Only Human (posted on: 17-05-13)
I'm sure God has a sense of humour ...

Oh God, I'm only human I haven't been here long I'm not blessed with divinity So bound to get it wrong Oh God, I'm only human I try to be so good I learnt to swim quite early And hence survived The Flood Oh God, I'm only human I shout and curse and pout And though I may not show it I'm really quite devout Oh God, I'm only human I never go to Church I'm sorry to neglect You And leave You in the lurch Oh God, You're up in Heaven Whilst I am down below What is it like to be there ? I'd really like to know Oh God, I'm only human Yet always strive to be A good upstanding citizen - And ask You round for tea Oh God, I'm only human I say my prayers each day I've not yet won the lottery To that, what do You say ? (Oh God, we're only human So this I You implore To set to rights this planet And bring an end to war)
Archived comments for I'm Only Human
orangedream on 17-05-2013
Im Only Human
Found myself saying 'Here,here!' to most, if not all of this, Val, especially the last stanza.

Tina;-)

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and commenting Tina.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 18-05-2013
Im Only Human
A clever and witty poem. Well dear Val, your last stanza does say it all to you, for if he is there, perhaps your God would have heard yours and mankind's call and have acted on it. Over hundreds of thousands of years, sadly he never has done so yet - what does that suggest ?

Author's Reply:
He isn't my God, David - despite the poem, I am not a believer. I most emphatically do not consider that God exists. My belief is that God and the Devil are aspects of the human psyche (good v. evil) - its obvious to me, and it is in our hands to sort out the world. Thanks for commenting and rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ˜€

Andrea on 18-05-2013
Im Only Human
Oh, very good Val - and excellent, easy rhyming, if I may say so.

(and I agree with your 'belief' system too!)

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea - just a bit of nonsense really. I wrote this after writing 'I'm Just A Woman' at someone's lighthearted suggestion on another site. Always appreciate and value your comments.
Best - Val πŸ˜€

JackCrowe on 18-05-2013
Im Only Human
I love the use of You. Very witty, enjoyed reading it.

Author's Reply:
Thank you JC, pleased you enjoyed. Much appreciated.
Best wishes. Val πŸ˜€

Pronto on 19-05-2013
Im Only Human
Excellent write Should I pray for you? πŸ˜‰

Author's Reply:
Thanks Pronto, and for the generous rating. Don't waste your time praying for me Pronto, I'm a lost cause, apart from which there's no-one there to listen !!
Val πŸ˜€

stormwolf on 19-05-2013
Im Only Human
Nice flow with the simplicity and humour to carry it all off.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison.
Val x


Morning (posted on: 13-05-13)
Good morning everyone ....

Gladly shall I greet the morning At the rising of the sun All the land so bright illumined - Hail another day begun Listen to the sweet birds singing Songs all hearts to thus delight Every soul to full awaken Bidding their farewell to night Fresh the dew upon the branches Chilled the early scented air Night's dim shadows softly fading - Golden ribbons everywhere Shimm'ring sunbeams fill the arbours Spreading light as angels' wings Spirits dance to greet the dawning - Joy and hope the new day brings Soft notes turning to crescendo Dawn is like a symphony As the light grows ever stronger – Nature in full harmony Yet another sunrise beckons Waking all from slumber deep Open wide the shuttered windows As the daybreak ends your sleep
Archived comments for Morning
Bozzz on 16-05-2013
Morning
Hi Val, this is a song for genteel ladies - written by one. Touchingly soft, with lyrics that convey a Victorian ambience.
XXX...David

Author's Reply:
Oh, sweet, thank you David, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚


Lie With Me (posted on: 13-05-13)
Having difficulties with centring text, as the first couple of lines seem to go out of sync - please bear this in mind when reading, and I will rectify as soon as I can. Thank you.

Lie with me in a golden field of full ripened corn beneath a beckoning sky We shall listen to the gentle breeze rising and falling, rising and falling in sweet crescendos synchronised with our love – whispering, whispering Lie with me we shall seal our togetherness with moistened lips and eager breaths before the falling of the sun and the coming of the mellowing night

Archived comments for Lie With Me
freya on 13-05-2013
Lie With Me
Romantic and lilting. Liked the repetition of 'lie with me'. To my ears, this is the ardent appeal of a lover. Wondering if whispering, whispering is needed? Nice one, Val. Shelagh

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Shelagh. I included the 'whispering, whispering' in an attempt to bring the reader into the scene through 'hearing' the breeze blowing through the corn. Will give some thought as to whether or not to leave it there.
Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 15-05-2013
Lie With Me
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
Excellent as usual Val and very bold!
The language leaves nothing to the imagination.{ rising and falling, rising and falling } And ( whispering, whispering ) Penetratingly done, Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Paul, saucy !!
Val :-0

amman on 16-05-2013
Lie With Me
I really like this tender poem, Val. The second verse is very cleverly composed and the repetition defines the subject matter. I would definitely retain 'whispering, whispering'. Far be it for me to second guess you but to complete the analogy, how about this for a last line...'and the coming of climatic night', instead of 'and the coming of the mellowing night'.


I have trouble with the centering thingee too.


Cheers.


Tony.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your lovely comments Tony. I can see where you are coming from (oops, Freudian slip?) - the last two lines are supposed to relate to growing old and that's why I used 'mellowing' - your suggestion is a good one though, and worthy of some thought.
Best wishes. Val :-0

PS: Thanks also for the great rating.

Andrea on 16-05-2013
Lie With Me
Lovely Val. Re the centering, it's just < center > at the beginning of the text you want centred, ad < /center > at the end (Note spelling and without the extra spaces I've done or my comment would have come out centred :))

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating Andrea. Also for the info re centring. I have done all this, however I have not included the back-slash when closing off. Maybe this is where I have been going wrong ?
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

Nemo on 16-05-2013
Lie With Me
A nice gooey little poem. There is another way to centre poems and keep the beginnings of the lines one under the other. A method I've been using. Nemo

Author's Reply:
"Gooey?" - I thought cakes were gooey, not poems !! But I'll take it as a compliment, and thank you nemo for taking the time to read and comment. Re centering, see Andrea's comment.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 16-05-2013
Lie With Me
Agree with WFF's statement that it is a pentrating study - I would call it an in depth experience. I'd give it 8.5 ...David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David.
Val :-0

Andrea on 16-05-2013
Lie With Me
Yes indeed, Val, you always need to close your code πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea - learning something new every day !!
Val


Oblivion (posted on: 10-05-13)
Free verse ...

  There is nothing left to say now.  Cherished dreams slip into nothingness as they float away upon the sea of change, towards the far horizon, quietly surrendered, beyond sight, beyond touch, fading softly with the dying of the sun. There is nothing left to say now. Everything comes to an end, and we all flounder in the darkness like lost children with no hand to hold, no place to go, no new tomorrows. There is nothing left to say now. No more songs to sing, nor stories to tell, no dawns, no sunsets in this new time, as the light is forever extinguished, and naught else remains but oblivion …..

Archived comments for Oblivion
franciman on 10-05-2013
Oblivion
Brilliant. You seem to relish the freedom of free verse, and it grabs the reader with its clarity. This is me eating my words Val!
Really well done,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jim for reading and commenting, and for the generous rating. Almost didn't post this sub as I thought it wasn't good enough. This new style of writing is, of course, new to me and therefore I am unsure about it, so any encouragement and/or assistance is appreciated.
Best wishes. Val

amman on 10-05-2013
Oblivion
I totally echo Jim's comments, Val. I, too, like this facet of your writing persona. Good imagery lifts the negative message of the poem. This is quality stuff.
Cheers..

Author's Reply:
Many thanks amman, I appreciate your comments and the generous rating. Your analysis is also very helpful.
Best wishes. Val

Jolen on 10-05-2013
Oblivion
Well, it certainly has an air of bleakness to it, eh? No, I think we've all felt this way, especially when a relationship comes to an end and we feel we may not survive it. Or at least I have. An enjoyable read for me and one that makes me think it's time to get back to work. Thanks. Sorry for rambling on, I'm out of practice.

blessings,
jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jolen for reading and commenting. This poem is meant to reflect a general world view rather than relating to specific situations, although the reader will inevitably do this. Ostensibly it may seem rather negative and bleak, however I see a positive side to this write as it reflects an acceptance of the inevitable rather than holding what I consider to be false beliefs which bring nothing but disappointment - in a way, this can bring an inner peace - a strange way of looking at things perhaps.
Best wishes. Val

Ionicus on 11-05-2013
Oblivion
Hello Val. We seem to have converted you to a style to which you haven't been accustomed but you have taken to it like a duck to water. The transition wasn't too painful, was it? The approach to free style is the same as you would have taken when writing sonnets: the poems have to be meaningful, to convey a message and express feelings. But you don't need to be told all this. You have and know how to use literary tools.

Best, Luigi.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Luigi, I much appreciate your comments and opinions. I hope I shall be able to continue to write in a similar vein, though I am not sure to what extent I shall be able to do so. I still have several of my older writes to sub in the absence of anything new - life's a bit tricky at the moment, so writing is not placed top of the agenda, however I shall do my best. Regards, Val. πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 11-05-2013
Oblivion
Hi Val
You have proved you can turn your hand to anything unlike some (many)
Your skill is multifaceted and I really tuned in to the feeling in this poem.
Like Jolen says, it could speak powerfully for the end of a relationship but also the end of a dream.
Great!
Alison x πŸ˜€

Author's Reply:
........ or the end of life. Thanks Alison, pleased you liked. Hope to do a bit more in free style, if I can.
Thanks again for the generous rating, much appreciated.
Val xx


Watching (posted on: 10-05-13)
Big Brother .....

                 Watching in the mellowed light                   Through the darkness, through the night                   Eyes that pierce and eyes that burn Eyes that twist and eyes that turn Watching every move you make Every single breath you take Are they there to steal your soul Glistening, and black as coal Do they claw into your heart Ripping every thought apart Haunting yet your quiet mind Do you heed them, are you blind Can you see them, do you hide Shall you mock them, shall you chide Are your own eyes ….. open wide
Archived comments for Watching
orangedream on 10-05-2013
Watching
Big brother, indeed. A haunting poem, Val.

Tina;-)

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and commenting Tina.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

Jolen on 10-05-2013
Watching
I like the notion of us both being watched and watching, for after all, we are all voyeurs at heart. Nicely done in rhyme, which I am rubbish at. Well done.

blessings,
jolen

Author's Reply:
Thanks again for reading and commenting Jolen, and I am sure you are not rubbish at anything !
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 10-05-2013
Watching
Youve got me looking over my shoulder, love this, the very tight meter gives it grace and although a simple theme the rhymes smooth, great last line. S

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Savvi, much appreciate your comments.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 11-05-2013
Watching
A good poem in rhyming couplets. Every line with nice even beats except the last line of the second stanza which does'nt ring smoothly to my ear, but perhaps is the way I read it.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi. I did ponder on that line, but considered that if each of the three syllables in "glistening" we're pronounced then it would work in terms of beats. I was hoping that the reader would pick up on this. I appreciate and value your comments. Val x

freya on 11-05-2013
Watching
The clincher, that last line! Best piece of advice I've read in ages.
Shelagh πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Yes, Shelagh, we all need to keep our wits about us these days. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 11-05-2013
Watching
You have been walking along too many high streets - I saw you drop that Werther's wrapping on the pavement - you must collect your ASBO from the police station within one hour. Big Bro Bozzz. Loved it Val...David

Author's Reply:
Who, me ? ..... never, not guilty !! Haven't you read my sub entitled Rubbish David. Thanks for commenting, you're a diamond.
Val :-0

Weefatfella on 12-05-2013
Watching
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
Aye very well done Val. It's all very sinister.
Especially when you're the only car sitting on the rank and you hear the motor of the camera whirring.
As they align the Eye better, to see you with.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Paul, I appreciate your continued support.
Val πŸ™‚


The Rain Keeps Falling (posted on: 06-05-13)
I prayed the sun would shine today ...

I prayed the sun would shine today But still the rain keeps falling It seems the clouds are here to stay - O feel the darkness calling Yet high above the misty skies There smiles the sun full shining Thus promising to stay our sighs With clouds of silver lining The rain brings beauty to the earth The mill wheels keep revolving All trees and flowers find re-birth The hardened land dissolving I prayed the sun would shine today But still rain keeps descending Beneath the showers yet I play In joyfulness unending It's better to behold the world In all her glory, turning - With all her beauty thus unfurled To ease our soulful yearning
Archived comments for The Rain Keeps Falling
Weefatfella on 06-05-2013
The Rain Keeps Falling
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
Brilliant as usual Val, and so olde wordly.
That is what I like about your work Val.
It takes me back to the way things should be.
To the proper way of doing things.
With Higher morals and standards.
A work again, of excellence.
Thank you Val.
Weefatfella.x

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much WFF, I am pleased you like my style of writing, which is not to everyone's liking of course - thank goodness for diversity. Do hope you keep looking in !
Val x

Rupe on 07-05-2013
The Rain Keeps Falling
I have to admit it's not my usual cup of tea, but it's very good of its type. The metre and rhyme scheme works very well and it succeeds in putting across a simple but universal message with some subtlety and lyricism. I can almost imagine it as a hymn - put 'all things bright and beautiful' side by side with 'I prayed the sun would shine today'.

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Thank you Rupe, your comments are much appreciated.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 07-05-2013
The Rain Keeps Falling

Hi Val
I try never to gauge my comments on other's opinions but Rupe has beaten me to it on everything!
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison, appreciated as always.
Val x


Jostedalsbreen (posted on: 06-05-13)
............ πŸ™‚

                   A bridal gown                  embellished with sparkling crystals Its liquid train solidified on cathedral steps seven beautiful sisters - bridesmaids with silken ribbons falling, cascading Frozen in time beneath a starry sky adorned with swirling drapes Dancing, dancing …..

Archived comments for Jostedalsbreen
stormwolf on 06-05-2013
Jostedalsbreen
Lovely imagery. Especially liked
Its liquid train solidified
on cathedral steps
Easy to picture it all in the inner vision.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison, and for the rating. Visited Norway in 2008 and it is a very beautiful country.

Val x

orangedream on 07-05-2013
Jostedalsbreen
I have been to Norway once, and you are right, it is so very beautiful...as is this poem.

Tina πŸ˜‰

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Tina, appreciate you reading and commenting.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

Nomenklatura on 08-05-2013
Jostedalsbreen
Some lovely imagery. You have a rogue apostrophe 'It's = it is'.
You want possessive adjective 'its', I think.
Regards
Ewan

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Ewan. Yes, the apostrophe was wrong - my IPad put it there, so I wondered if it was right - just shows, never trust AI !! I have removed those lines now anyway in accordance with Shelagh's opinion.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

japanesewind on 08-05-2013
Jostedalsbreen
I like the imagery of that "liquid train"

David

Author's Reply:
Many thanks David, appreciate your comment.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

freya on 08-05-2013
Jostedalsbreen
Val, yes, some exquisite language use, creating a shimmery, ballet-like picture for the inner eye. My instinct would be to end this on dancing, dancing. But that's just my opinion. Enjoyed. Shelagh πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Shelagh, pleased you liked. I have taken your advice and removed the closing lines, which I don't think detracts from the write.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 08-05-2013
Jostedalsbreen
Hello Val, I really enjoyed this image,I could imagine the silken ribbons falling and cascading. a well expressed poem.
Pommer.


Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer, pleased you enjoyed. Thanks also for the rating.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚


Rubbish (posted on: 03-05-13)
Just a load of old rubbish really ....

The world is full of rubbish I see it all around Strewn along the pavements And scattered 'cross the ground It hangs on outstretched branches Like washing on a line Dumped into the river Oh, aint it such a crime? You'll find it in the gutter Amassed around the trees Tangled in the hedges And carried by the breeze Blown around like tumbleweed You'll find it everywhere It wraps around my feet Then flies into my hair So if you are responsible For putting it about Shame on you because its clear You're just a litter-lout ! And hence, my friend, I ask you What should we do with it - Put it in the dustbin But make sure it will fit There's also verbal rubbish That rolls right off the tongue The stuff that's made of words That rattle all day long You'll hear it on the telly Which isn't very good I'm sure you will agree It's just a heap of crud Some politicians spout it And those who have no brains Writers even write it When nothing else remains So, all my fellow poets, If what you have to say Amounts to simply rubbish Then put your pen away Methinks the time is coming To take my final bow Terminate this nonsense And end it, stop it now I know what you are thinking (Some words I can't repeat) This rhyme's a load of rubbish Which I should now delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete
Archived comments for Rubbish
Weefatfella on 03-05-2013
Rubbish
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg Oh I hate deleting. It has to be done though. If thy 'write' hand offend thee!!

Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Delete, delete, delete, delete ......
Val :-0

stormwolf on 04-05-2013
Rubbish
hahahaha great! Loved it.
I would have put a question mark at the end of the last line second stanza but like usual it just flew along from line to line perfectly. It was very humerous and a super piece of nonsense. I am sure it's hard to write but the end result was anything but..err.....rubbish! πŸ˜‰
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Question mark duly inserted. Thanks for reading and commenting Alison - glad you liked it. Not everything has to be serious, does it !
Val x

stormwolf on 04-05-2013
Rubbish
no indeed! We need all the laughs we can get. I have tried a couple of funny ones in the distant past but they fell at the first fence ;-( *sobs*
It's not easy to do funny but I love to read them. x

Author's Reply:
I'm sure your poems are worth a read Alison - have you posted them, and if so, what are they called ?

Bozzz on 04-05-2013
Rubbish
I'd be happy to feed from your wheelybin any time. Subject elegantly dealt with. But our rubbish leaflet in Dorset does not give any instructions as to which bin poetry should be disposed of - is it recyclable? ...XXX...David

Author's Reply:
Plenty of it goes into my bin David, but its best shredded first so that no-one can read it - ha !! Or you could always give it to the dog.
Val xx

Ionicus on 05-05-2013
Rubbish
I have to disagree about your advice to poets, Val. Even if you think that what you write is rubbish, keep your imagination flowing or your brain will rust.

Luigi x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Luigi. Not meant as serious advice, everyone should keep writing of course - it is just a bit of fun.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 05-05-2013
Rubbish
Hahaha, very good, Val!

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Cheers. Val :-0

stormwolf on 05-05-2013
Rubbish
Well one is about my late rat, not really funny but very different light-hearted style ;/
http://ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=24503
and the other one I posted on behald of my mum who is a published poet in her own right (she writes humerous poems )
http://ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=25646

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison - have left comments under respective poems.

Val πŸ™‚


From A Distance (posted on: 03-05-13)
Not tried this modern stuff before, so this is my first attempt - its probably rubbish, but one has to try, yes ? (bit like my other sub today) .....

                  It was beautiful …….. from a distance How it glistened and shimmered in the sunlight like a star cast down from heaven Or maybe the eye of an angel or Galadriel's mirror or a pool of water, reflecting the day's gentle glow So splendid it was I had to know ….. But it was just a piece of old jagged glass part of a broken bottle, cast aside by a drunken fool And I deluded

Archived comments for From A Distance
Weefatfella on 03-05-2013
From A Distance
 photo c8985de3-44fa-4972-8452-209c5b038bed_zps41f8f0a0.jpg
Aye all that glistens Val.
In saying that, a great idea for a pome.
A lot of things in life sparkle but on closer inspection are revealed to be rubbish.
Not this poem though.
Great image the cutting sharp gleam and sparkle.
Enjoyed Val,
Thank you again.
Weefatfella.x

Author's Reply:
Thanks WFF - glad you liked my bit of free verse.
Val x

japanesewind on 03-05-2013
From A Distance
Hiya Val, I like the kernel of the idea you have here.
is it something you really saw? I would play around with the format of this, keeping the essentials, and see what you come up with, it may pay dividends....

seeya...David

Author's Reply:
Hi David - thank you for reading and commenting. I think we have all seen a piece of glass shining in the sun, but the poem is really about disappointment and disillusionment. I would be grateful if you could offer any ideas or suggestions as to how the format may be changed, as I am unsure as to how I should go about this - this type of write is new to me. Any help would be appreciated.
Many thanks.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 03-05-2013
From A Distance
Hi Val, I think your start here is excellent. But judging by some of the awful prosetry in this lot of subs, I think even Canute was on to a better bet than me ! Keep going any way you wish Val, you have something - a touch - the rest do not have. xxx...David


Author's Reply:
Thank you so much for your comments David, greatly appreciated as always.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

japanesewind on 04-05-2013
From A Distance
Ah. A metaphor then, good try, hard things they are.

On further readings Val I came to the like the format you have given this poem,
I identified what it was that unsettled me.
It was the words "OH" and "I thought" The last line
could probably go too without losing the effect you have got across in the rest of your poem.

A last thought, "diamonds" are usually wrested from the earth.

Enjoyed this Val


Author's Reply:
Thank you for taking the time to revisit my write David, and for your observations and suggestions. I have modified in light of these and Alison's/amman's comments. I have removed 'Oh' and 'I thought,' and changed 'diamond' to 'star' (I hadn't thought of that). I didn't really want to lose the last line, but have changed it in line with Alison's suggestions. All in all, a definite improvement I believe.
Regards.
Val πŸ™‚

amman on 04-05-2013
From A Distance
Hi Val. I quite like the format altho' wouldn't know an 'acceptable' poetic format if it bit me. Nice poem with good imagery, but you could definitely lose 'oh' from the 1st line.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks amman - I have removed the 'Oh' in accordance with the general consensus of opinion. I also would not know an acceptable poetic format if it bit me, especially in terms of modern formats. I have no formal training in creative writing and so do just what comes naturally. Appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 04-05-2013
From A Distance
Hi Val,
So good to see you being bold and stepping out of your comfort zone. I liked the creative layout which can (IMHO) make or break a poem, especially one like this.
I would have dispensed with the last set of dots and put the crunch word on its own line

But it was just a piece of old jagged glass
part of a broken bottle, cast aside
by a drunken fool

And I

deluded.
I would also have dispensed with the exclamation mark there too as the word and its placement should give enough strength to the ending and I feel that the over use of exclamation marks is robbing the reader of their chance to 'feel' the passion in the poem under their own judgement. My early poems are so full of exclamation marks it ain't funny! lol

All in all a very good intro to you trying something different and I feel sure that you will be able to turn your hand to this form too.
Alison x


Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and commenting Alison. I have taken on board your suggestions, along with those of David and Amman. In general, I don't do much in the way of punctuation - largely because it is the way of things now, unlike years ago when underlining, indented paragraphs, etc etc were the norm. These days, minimalism in everything seems to be the way. But the odd one creeps in. Appreciate your time and interest Alison, you're a star !! (Exclamation marks necessary here ).
Val x

karen123 on 04-05-2013
From A Distance
I like the way it is set out - it flows beautifully.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Karen123 for reading and commenting. Much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 05-05-2013
From A Distance
I chided you in the past for sticking to traditional poetry, although beautifully written, but I must commend you on taking a leap and venturing into free verse. This first attempt of yours is good and meaningful. Well done.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi, your comments are much appreciated. Thank you also for your generous rating.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

freya on 09-05-2013
From A Distance
Val, came across this rather late in the game, but really like the rather oblique, metaphorical ending. Most effective. In the past I've noticed you wanted comments only, so have avoided adding my ten cents worth to any of your work. But now it seems you're looking for input and trying a new approach/style. I envy your bravery and break-through in doing that. I feel in a real rut myself, hating everything I've ever written! Yet stuck at the same time.

Since you'd like to hear what others think about what you have here I played with it a bit and came up with the following suggested edit/lay-out:

It was beautiful, from a distance

How it glistened and shimmered in the sunlight
like a star cast down from heaven
the eye of an angel,
Galadriel’s mirror

Or a pool of water, reflecting
the day’s gentle glow

But it was just a piece
of old jagged glass

Part of a broken bottle, cast aside
by a drunken fool,
and I, deluded

It could be centered, too as Alison is so good at doing and I'm not!

Think you're on an inspiring creative upswing, whatever you decide to do with this particular piece. A pleasing, evocative poem. Shelagh


Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Shelagh for reading and commenting on this write, which I appreciate very much. I thought I would have a go at free style, and being a complete novice, I am more than happy to receive other's opinions - if I am no good at it, then I would rather know, abandon it, and stick to my old style. Not sure if I can continue with writing this way, it all depends on inspiration I guess, and whether I actually have the mind for it. But I intend to try. I like the way you have twiddled with it, however having already made a number of changes, I think I will stick with it as it is for now - I think I perhaps need to return to it after a few more writes/crits, and review it again then. I am sure you should not be questioning all your own work to date, but I understand what you mean as I often question all my own stuff. I think it is because our past efforts are the product of our past thinking, and we all move forward to some extent in the course of time. Again, thank you for your time and interest.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚


Stolen (posted on: 29-04-13)
A poem about what life can do .....

You took all the words from my lips And left me with nothing to say Then stole the bright sun from my sight Thus chasing the daylight away You captured the stars from my eyes And now I'm unable to see Then tore out my frail tender heart So that I could no longer be You seized all the thoughts from my mind And now I can no more believe Destroying the light in my soul – O how you did my heart deceive You then razed the smile from my face Extinguished the love that I bore Then stole every vestige of hope So leaving me empty once more You cut into each of my dreams And now I am bleeding inside Lay hold upon all of my life - And you didn't care when I died

Archived comments for Stolen
amman on 29-04-2013
Stolen
Blimey, this is pretty dark, Val. Expert rhythm and rhyming but not a fan of the layout. The last line (past tense) sort of suggests that the words were written from beyond the grave.
Perhaps, I'm just being picky 'cos I do like the poem.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Amman. The layout was not intended, it was centering gone wrong !! I have modified it now.
The last line wasn't meant to imply physical death, rather when someone feels dead inside. A bit dark, yes, guess I was feeling a bit p'd off at the time.

Val

cooky on 29-04-2013
Stolen
I like this. The darkness that betrayal can leave behind good writing

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Cooky for reading, and for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Witchysmyth on 29-04-2013
Stolen
The final lines really sealed the whole work:

You cut into each of my dreams
And now I am bleeding inside
Lay hold upon all of my life -
And you didn’t care when I died

So sad, indeed!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Witchysmyth for reading and commenting, and also for rating. Very much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


Where Is The Night (posted on: 29-04-13)
Where is the night that I may rest .....

Where is the night that I may rest In silent solitude Amidst the moonlit starry skies With peacefulness imbued The dark to steal my languid soul Above, beyond the sea, That I may reign forever fixed In sweet serenity Beneath my eyes, the earth shall turn Whilst I remain so still Thus contemplating such desire Man's eager need to fill But here I stay 'midst earthly gloss Caught ever by its spell Yet tethered by all worldly things Within my heart to dwell So high upon the ragg'ed clouds Of dreams long borne, I fly Through yonder storms and battlefields Where all are wont to cry Until the day when I shall loose All chains that capture me And soar above to regions where My heart and soul be free
Archived comments for Where Is The Night

No comments archives found!
Sonnet - VII (O Moon, bright Moon, in all thy glory bound ...) (posted on: 26-04-13)
....... πŸ™‚

O Moon, bright Moon, in all thy glory bound Thine aspect shall yet soothe the trembling heart For as thy beauty gleams thus all around Such sweet serenity thou full impart For there within the darkness of the night Upon the starry vault, thy countenance As like a lantern ever glowing bright Shall through all time all gentle souls entrance Then with the wax and waning of thy face To thus effect the oceans' ebb and flow The golden sands forever to embrace Whilst on the steely waters thou dost glow ….. Thou art the ancient keeper of the night ….. Upon the world to set thy shining light
Archived comments for Sonnet - VII (O Moon, bright Moon, in all thy glory bound ...)

No comments archives found!
I Will Search For You My Love (posted on: 26-04-13)
O, I will search for you my love .....

O, I will search for you, my love, Whenever all the world is done When earth no more shall spin around As at the dying of the sun Throughout eternity, to seek Beyond all stilled and finished time, Together then entwined as one Our soul to heaven's door shall climb When all that is has blown away So lost to dreams and fantasy When worlds collide and disappear And naught endures, just you and me … Just you and me, and all the birds That ever sang their sweet refrain Shall drift across the universe In joyful splendour to remain And all the music e'er composed As to enrapture every soul Will thus be heard across the void Our love forever to extol Then all the hearts that ever loved Shall join us in our new-found time Become as one with all that be Forever set in dreams sublime
Archived comments for I Will Search For You My Love
Bozzz on 28-04-2013
I Will Search For You My Love
I think these are lovely and also powerful thoughts, Val - but i just hope you can fix it so the sun will see us out - I plead for ten years. Very good poem. ...David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David, and for the generous rating. With no comments so far, I was beginning to think my writes were rubbish, so you have saved the day so to speak. I think we are safe for a little while yet, more than ten years I suspect.

Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 30-04-2013
I Will Search For You My Love
A wonderful heartfelt poem after my own heart.An excellent effort.I hope a few more people will think so too.Pommer.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Pommer for your comments and for the great rating. I very much appreciate your encouraging words.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


The Migration (posted on: 22-04-13)
I look upon the skies to see .....

I look upon the skies to see A myriad flutt'ring wings And hear above a symphony A choir of feathered kings Their music echoes through my mind To fill my heart with joy Such freedom do I seek to find And earthly cares destroy Lit by the moon's soft glowing light Their journey lingers on Across the dark expanse of night Towards the distant sun I know not where their journey wends What verdant land their prize Perhaps 'tis where the rainbow ends Perchance 'tis Paradise
Archived comments for The Migration
Weefatfella on 22-04-2013
The Migration
 photo 6e64c949-25e7-4412-a2c5-8b9996ad7cba_zps5037a281.jpg
Aye, this is more like Yie Val.
Fantastic imagery here.
Back to the feel good factor, no feart at aw noo.
Yi've jist gave me a word massage. ( In the best possible taste, of course.)
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Probably one of the first poems I ever wrote (dug deep for this one), but it did win Β£5 in a local newspaper !! Anyway, glad you liked it and I hope you enjoyed the massage. Thanks again WFF - I do appreciate your interest in my work. Have had a very busy weekend, so will comment back soon as able.
Val πŸ™‚


Annihilation (posted on: 22-04-13)
No more rhythm, no more rhyme .....

No more rhythm, no more rhyme Out of step and out of time The planets in their orbits falter Our destiny we fail to alter Moving on towards the end Still we do not comprehend That through the earth's contamination We'll set our own extermination No more hope and no more light Through the darkness of the night The sun in all her glory waning The stars as burnt-out beacons fading On and further on we go Dark and darker yet to grow The pathway to obliteration And then complete annihilation

Archived comments for Annihilation
stormwolf on 22-04-2013
Annihilation
Loved it. A different style / theme but perfectly executed a la Val. Equally important.. the message blunt and highlighted by the short lines and simplicity of presentation.
The lines "out of step" and the creativity of the out of sync lines in the start was really effective. I love to see people being bold like that.



I wish the message was wrong but failing divine intervention, that's the way of it. When things overwhelm me I look at pics of the Milky Way and then I become humbled and uplifted by the magnificence of creation.



Alison x



 photo 90627303-1e12-4951-957c-ae1e1f6740e4_zps677c5b84.jpg

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison. This is an old write of many many years ago, when I was young but very much aware of environmental issues then, as much as I am now, but at least mankind has started to realise the need to address this issue and perhaps will manage to salvage our poor planet before such annihilation might occur. Love the pic - gazing up into the heavens makes one realise just how delicate and insignificant we really are !!
Thanks also for the generous rating. Much appreciated as always.
Val xx

Weefatfella on 22-04-2013
Annihilation
 photo 6e64c949-25e7-4412-a2c5-8b9996ad7cba_zps5037a281.jpg
AW Naw Val,A'm Feart Noo.
Aye, that's the way of it and I don't think we can stop it now.
Enjoyed it Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Sorry to feart ya WFF - I did write this a long time ago ! Thanks for reading anyway.
Val :-0

deadpoet on 24-04-2013
Annihilation
I'm afraid the issues are the same ValDohren- I see nothing but annihilation and I have been around for a while.
Nice poem

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting deadpoet, and for the rating. I'd like to think we are heading in the right direction, but maybe we are set on a course of self-destruction which cannot be stopped.
Best wishes.
Val


Next Time (posted on: 19-04-13)
xxxxxxxxxx

(Next time, if I get the chance, I will take a different stance Yes, try to be what I am not And so, below, unfold my plot) ..... Next time I'll not turn a cheek Next time, I shall not be weak No, next time, I won't weep and wail For next time round, I will not fail Next time, I shall not be late Next time, I won't hesitate No next time, I`ll not flounder long Yes, next time, I'll be sure and strong Next time, I won't be so small Next time, I`ll walk proud and tall And next time, I won't hide my face For next time, I will have my place Next time, I shall get it right Next time, I will shout and fight! For next time, it won't be the same Yes, next time, I will win the game Next time, I won't be afraid And stay, unnoticed, in the shade For next time, I will be the one To shine, triumphant, 'neath the sun Next time, you will hear my voice Next time, next time, I will rejoice For next time, I'll be brave and free OH NEXT TIME, YES, JUST WAIT AND SEE ! (Next time, if I can, I will Be all these things, or better still I'll stay myself and be content To live as now, indifferent)
Archived comments for Next Time
Rupe on 19-04-2013
Next Time
Very fluent and enjoyable and perfectly articulates a feeling which everyone has had at some time or other. I wonder whether you need the last stanza, though, given that what you say in it is so strongly implied by the repeated refrain of 'next time'?

Rupe

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Rupe - I was trying to create the impression of becoming bolder and louder as the poem progressed, but with the final admission that to take the line of least resistance and remain true to one's nature is perhaps the better option, which tieffi seems to have picked up on. I can see where you are coming from however, and appreciate your viewpoint.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

teifii on 19-04-2013
Next Time
Very good. And for me the last stanza is the perfect ending. Don't lose it. I like the sudden surfacing of the poet's real character.

Author's Reply:
Thanks teiffi - yes, this is how I wanted it to come across. Appreciate your comments.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Supratik on 13-03-2016
Next Time
The poem has dramatic irony, in terms of placing the audience as kind of omniscient... and yet it has a climax on the penultimate stanza that surprises the readers! A wonderfully involving write I'd say. Supratik

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Supratik, much appreciated.
Val


I'm Just A Woman (posted on: 19-04-13)
One for women's lib - just a bit of fun ...

Oh sir, I'm just a woman How could I understand For you are set above me So tall and proud and grand Oh sir, I'm just a woman Beneath you, I am told, Can never be your equal How could I be so bold Oh sir, I'm just a woman I'll be subservient Walk within your shadow I ought to be content Oh sir, I'm just a woman My only real true worth To bear you many children Perpetuate new birth Oh sir, I'm just a woman I know its somewhat trite But somewhere deep inside me I feel it can't be right Oh sir, I'm just a woman When will you ever see That I am stood above you You should look up to me Oh sir, I'm just a woman And quite as good as you And so if you don't like it You know what you can do …. !
Archived comments for I'm Just A Woman
amman on 19-04-2013
Im Just A Woman
Nice one, Val; flows and rhymes well, and many a true word... Love the last verse.
Cheers

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Amman, and for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚

teifii on 19-04-2013
Im Just A Woman
Well formed and reads well aloud. Would go down well at a poetry reading

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your comment teifii, very much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 20-04-2013
Im Just A Woman
Haha, nice one.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Andrea, glad you liked !
Val πŸ™‚

Bandersnatch on 20-04-2013
Im Just A Woman
I loved it!

Author's Reply:
Pleased you liked it Bandersnatch, thanks for reading and commenting.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 20-04-2013
Im Just A Woman
Nicely written. A heartfelt plea for equality (with a hint at superiority) but I reckon the metamorphosis has already occurred.
Best, Luigi



Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Luigi - the butterfly emerges ! Ha ha.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Miel on 21-04-2013
Im Just A Woman
Great read Val, the flow is perfect and the message loud and clear.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Miel, and for the great rating much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 21-04-2013
Im Just A Woman
I don't usually enjoy repetition but this works really well and I loved it, as does the build from subservience to domination. Nice Poem. S

Author's Reply:
Many thanks savvi, and for the generous rating.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


My Lovely June (posted on: 15-04-13)
O come sweet June, my lovely June .....

O come sweet June, my lovely June The month when first the roses bloom - A wondrous, colourful display By sunlight kissed throughout the day, So chasing all my cares away. And fixed above, the starry bull, Glittering there, so beautiful, Adorning thus the northern skies Whene'er the dazzling daylight dies - 'Tis like a glimpse of Paradise. Then climbing high in heav'ns expanse The sun ascends, to so enhance The splendour that is all around. O June, fair June, wherein abound The seasons gifts, which full surround, With flower petals soft unfurled And vines around the trellis curled. The grass is sweet and richly green With shining luminescent sheen - Your face, my June, a beauteous scene. Carnations flourish through the years Bursting forth from Mary's tears,* And Honeysuckle-scented air, No other fragrance does compare – I seek to ever tarry there. O June, dear June, for you I wait - My longing ever shall abate When you recur with all your grace To lift my heart and light my face, And thus my soul to full embrace. Such pure delight, all heaven sent, O June, my June, you bring content. 'Tis you for whom I ever yearn, Awaiting thus your prized return - O June, my lovely June sojourn. (*There is a Christian story that when Jesus was carrying the cross, wherever Mary's tears fell to the ground Carnations started to grow.)
Archived comments for My Lovely June
Weefatfella on 15-04-2013
My Lovely June
 photo UKABueeyedhush.gif
Again Val, Lovely.
You do this so well.
I myself am pining for June.
That's when we go on holiday to a wee cottage in the lakes can't wait.
Thank you again Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you once more WFF. Lets hope that this coming June will be better than last year's, and I hope you have a lovely holiday in The Lakes.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 16-04-2013
My Lovely June
Another total gem. I have a very special affinity for June as I was born in that month and also named after it in my middle name. I also remember the pure joy of getting up at the crack on dawn as a young girl and wandering in the garden smelling the roses with the dew on them which somehow heightened the scent. I am reminded of heaven when I smell roses.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison. Lets hope we have a good June this year. Last year was pretty grim weather wise , and for personal reasons even grimmer for me. Thanks also for the generous rating, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Mikeverdi on 17-04-2013
My Lovely June
Reading your poetry just makes me feel good. Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Nomenklatura on 18-04-2013
My Lovely June
Lovely kenning - Mary's tears. I enjoyed this read.
Ewan

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Ewan, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 18-04-2013
My Lovely June
Legends are an unending source of poetic inspiration and the story of Mary's tears fits snugly into your poem.
Luigi


Author's Reply:


Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams) (posted on: 15-04-13)
O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams ...

O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams Mind them ever safe within thy keeping For love may never render what it deems Nor save the fragile breast from ever weeping. Forever may thy fantasies remain To sweet enchant and charm thy soulful heart - Whenever all is lost they yet sustain With joy, with hope, with love to thus impart. O drift along illusions' misty way Reality's dark face to thence deny Within the realms of heaven thus to stay That never shall thy heart be wont to cry. ….. Relinquish not thy dreams for earthly prize ….. Lest thy reward be set in downcast eyes
Archived comments for Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
Hekkus on 15-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
Shakespeare is alive and well and living in UKAuthors!:)
A classic Shakespearean sonnet.
It's funn to try these old forms sometimes, and you did this well.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Hekkus.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

geordietaf on 15-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
Yes, an excellent foray into a classic form. I particularly liked the last two lines.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks geordietaf, and for the great rating.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 15-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
Hi Val
As you know, this is not really my 'thing' so to speak but you do it extremely well. I too, loved the last two lines especially.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Alison - I know this is not to everyone's liking, but I appreciate you reading and commenting. I wrote a series of ten such sonnets, so there are four more to post, so far at least. I am no Shakespeare expert, but I love his work - if I had had it in me, I would have liked to have been a Shakespearean actress. Oh well, maybe in my next life !!
Thanks for the great rating, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 15-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
 photo 6476617c-792a-4c7b-a60f-b80676cd1938_zps5eb0b534.jpg
Aye, Thank you again Val, for the lovely feel good,whenever I read your pomes.
I liked>>O drift along illusions’ misty way
Reality’s dark face to thence deny <<
Brilliantly done as always.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again WFF for reading and commenting. I appreciate your interest.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 16-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
Val your poems have such a pleasing flow to them and always read ever so well, holding onto dreams is a wonderful topic for a sonnet and you do it proud. S

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much Savvi, you are very kind. Thanks also for the great rating, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

cooky on 16-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
you are very good at this type of poetry. Excellent write

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Cooky, and for the generous rating, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Pronto on 18-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
This really appealed to me thanks for sharing!

Would with some sweet spirit I held sway
To loan thine artful quill for but a day!


Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pronto, and for the generous rating - much obliged.
No need to have loan of my quill - judging from the above, thou doest very well with thine own !
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 18-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
Affairs of heart, you have the art, you done it well, me doggerel - us different, and you can tell..XXX ...David

Author's Reply:
Love your little rhyme David - I can do doggerel too, watch this space ......

Val πŸ™‚ xxx

teifii on 19-04-2013
Sonnet - VI (O gentle heart, hold fast to all thy dreams)
Made me feel like tackling a sonnet again. Well done.

Author's Reply:
Tank you teiffi, and I shall look out for your sonnet.

Val πŸ™‚


Slip ..... (posted on: 12-04-13)
Slip into my fantasy .....

Slip into my fantasy Walk into my dream Clasp my hand in paradise 'Neath a soft sunbeam Touch me as a summer breeze Gentle on my face Keep me close against your heart Warm in your embrace Slide into my memory So I'll ne'er forget Linger there within my mind That I shall not fret Step into my glist'ning eyes Greet me with your smile Feel my gaze upon your face Tarry there awhile Hold onto my shadow cast Never set me free Wrap me in your tender love Through eternity Journey deep into my soul Find the love that's there Joined together, two as one All our life to share
Archived comments for Slip .....
Fox-Cragg on 12-04-2013
Slip .....
Just beautiful Val.
Many thanks for sharing.
Paul

Author's Reply:
Very many thanks Paul for reading and commenting, and also for the great rating. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

Kat on 12-04-2013
Slip .....
How lovely to have that written for you (if you know what I mean)... someone writing such beautiful, expressive words for you. Enjoyed.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Kat, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 13-04-2013
Slip .....
I'm so glad you came back. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for the great rating.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚ xx


Where Will My Haven Be (posted on: 12-04-13)
The world shall go on turning .....

The world shall go on turning Through the darkness of despair As I with seamless yearning strive To find a haven there Set deep within the valleys Or above the raging sea In regions high and rarefied Where will my haven be Shall I search in flowered fields Or the hillside strewn with gorse Upon the rugged moors and heaths In woodlands wild and coarse Or is it set in pastures Where the sheep and cattle graze In peace and calm serenity To while away their days Will I find it on the shore There amongst the whorl'ed shells Between each wave that ebbs and flows Or where Poseidon dwells Searching in the wilderness Through all days to seek and find A place to rest and contemplate - A cradle for my mind For then shall I relinquish All that binds and fetters me Where I can dream in solitude My spirit to set free
Archived comments for Where Will My Haven Be
stormwolf on 12-04-2013
Where Will My Haven Be
Absolutely lovely. A masterpiece of rhythm and rhyme. I know I am like a long playing record πŸ˜‰ and so many times I am reading poetry that has almost got it perfect ....then I find it goes off a bit here and there but so small as to seem churlish to ever mentuion it ;-( ...but yours are always perfectly executed.

It really does affect the reading of a poem for me. If done properly (and of course the content high class) then the poem flows along and reads itself. It sings!!!
Well done Val.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Oh thank you Alison, for reading and commenting, and for the super rating, which I didn't expect for this piece. I am both humbled and delighted.
Val πŸ™‚ x

purplespirit on 12-04-2013
Where Will My Haven Be
Absolutely gorgeous poem and it left deep impression on me. So glad I read your work, coming back after a while. Spring greetings, Purple

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Purple for your comments. You are very kind, and I am pleased you liked my poem. Glad you are back too - I shall be looking out for your subs. Spring greetings to you also.
Val πŸ™‚ x

Mikeverdi on 13-04-2013
Where Will My Haven Be
Your words and rhyme never fail to leave an impression Val. Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike - much appreciated as always.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚ xx

Bozzz on 13-04-2013
Where Will My Haven Be
Tureens full of measured pleasure serving to our minds in the canteen for souls. From across the counter in the queue I see the smile on your face - the good angel that you are, Val. Excellent and imaginative work...David.. XXX

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much David - such lovely comments. I am no angel, but if a few words from my pen could lighten a heavy heart, albeit for just a minute or two, then I would be happy.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚ xxx

Pronto on 14-04-2013
Where Will My Haven Be
A beautiful poem written in the best romantic tradition. I thoroughly enjoyed this ink it brightened my day.
Well done.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pronto, much appreciated, am pleased you like.
Thanks also for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Bandersnatch on 14-04-2013
Where Will My Haven Be
It is so difficult to find words that rhyme and fit in with the poem but you have done it perfectly. Your poem was a pleasure to read. Thank you.


Author's Reply:
Thank your for commenting Bandersnatch, much appreciated
Val πŸ™‚


Inspiration (posted on: 08-04-13)
Tender beats the heart that whispers .....

Tender beats the heart that whispers Through the darkness of the night Ling'ring in the silent shadows Utt'ring words to yet take flight In the deepness of my being Sweet the voice that speaks my name Murm'ring softly sounds of beauty There to set my soul aflame Filling me with thoughts of wonder Yet to fix upon the page In my mind they float like spectres - Images upon a stage Still, at times, you find me sleeping Not to catch your gentle lay But I then shall hear your telling Come once more another day Speak, O speak, my sweet companion Let not silence take your heart Ever waiting for your discourse When I shall your words impart
Archived comments for Inspiration
cooky on 09-04-2013
Inspiration
Beautiful words and lovely flow. I like this

Author's Reply:
Thanks Cooky, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚


Under The Laburnum Tree (posted on: 08-04-13)
A simple tale .....

Under the Laburnum tree She touched his gentle face Under the Laburnum tree She knew their first embrace Under the Laburnum tree She gave to him her love Under the Laburnum tree Beneath the stars above Under the Laburnum tree He left her there to cry Under the Laburnum tree That`s where she chose to die (Under the Laburnum tree Were scattered all its seeds Under the Laburnum tree Amongst the growing weeds) Under the Laburnum tree The moon was shining bright Under the Laburnum tree Her silvery soul took flight Under the Laburnum tree At last she was set free Under the Laburnum tree She found eternity
Archived comments for Under The Laburnum Tree
Fox-Cragg on 08-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
Thanks Val for sharing. Captured in a few words, the often damaging journey of love.
Paul

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Paul, your comments Re much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 08-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
 photo 6476617c-792a-4c7b-a60f-b80676cd1938_zps5eb0b534.jpg photo 76112a76-aaf2-44ff-bda4-4c8dd22c1efd_zps26f3050e.jpg
Aye, lovely sad pome of unrequited love.
Puir sowel!
Mind Yie The Bloody tree's poisonous.
Hope you don't mind the wee photie Val?
Lovely Piece of words put together to please the eye and tickle the emotions.
Always cheers me Val, when I read your work thank you. Weefatfella.


Author's Reply:
Thanks again WFF - your comments are always most welcome. Lovely picture, its a beautiful tree but poisonous yes - this is how the wee lassie in the poem ended her life. So pleased you like my scribbles, very encouraging.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 08-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
As you know, I too, am a lover of Laburnum trees, tailor made for making love under. As WFF says, if the bugger turns out to be a scoundrel you can always make up a nice infusion for him from the seeds πŸ˜‰
The simplicity of presentation has its own power as the whole thing captures the sad scenario.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison - need to get one planted just in case that bugger turns up, though methinks I'm a tad too old for such carry on !! Pleased you like anyway - this one was also posted on another site some time ago and it has had a phenomenal number of hits, which I do not understand. Must be something to do with the title or Laburnum trees, or maybe people think its a poem about hanky panky !!
Val x

Hekkus on 08-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
Very unadorned, but effective for all that. Proof that a poem need not be inaccessible to say something worthwhile.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Hekkus - the title for this poem rattled round in my head for about 40 years so I had to finally get it down on paper to get it out of my system so to speak. I think its simplicity is what held me back, so I am pleased you like.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 08-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
Dear Val, you are spot on, our fragility brings sadness too often - I think of those who are bullied and cannot take it.
We had a laburnam in our front garden. We wanted rid of it, but were told it would be cheaper to move house. Afraid we prepared for eternity by moving to the next village.... XXX...David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David - hope you are still a long way from eternity ! I abhor bullies, and they usually pick on those who are of a fragile nature because they are cowardly. I have a monkey puzzle in my front garden - it won't poison you, but it could prick you to death !!
Val xxx

Pronto on 09-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
A bitter/sweet tale of unrequited love simply and beautifully told.
I loved this ink,

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pronto, and for the great rating. Much appreciated as always.
Val πŸ™‚

Nemo on 09-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
A simple tale indeed and very effectively written, like a folk poem.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating memo.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 09-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
Love Laburnum - here, in May, the gardens are loaded with them. Highly toxic of course, can't plant (or overhang) in fields with animals, but incredibly beautiful.

Author's Reply:
Yes, they are beautiful, but toxic. Thank you for reading and rating Andrea.
Val πŸ™‚

jay12 on 11-04-2013
Under The Laburnum Tree
This is very sweet.

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Jay, appreciate your comment.
Val πŸ™‚


Sunset (posted on: 05-04-13)
'Tis now the lantern of the day .....

'Tis now the lantern of the day Shall slowly start to slip away To fall into a distant place Beyond the earth and set in space The closing of the day embrace The sky ablaze with fiery glow Reflected on the ground below As shadows drift across the land Like cloaks of darkness softly spanned The clouds above yet strangely fanned Then threads of silver light remain Should e'er the fading day complain Before the night shall chase away The dying embers of the day So turning all to steely grey With shimm'ring fall of evening mist On glist'ning leaves by moonlight kissed And eerie silhouetted spires Against the backdrop of the skies For ever now the sunlight dies As evening steals away the glow That lingers on the earth below - Then she who shines with tender face Upon the land bestows her grace Then takes the heavens all apace The trees are still, the birds asleep All silent now, as growing deep The day turns slowly into night As with the fading of the light And as all dreams shall now take flight So gently close your eyes and rest Sleep softly now at her behest As night-time takes you to her breast For he now slumbers in the west
Archived comments for Sunset
orangedream on 05-04-2013
Sunset
You paint such a beautiful picture with your words, Val.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina, pleased you liked.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 06-04-2013
Sunset
Your words are almost serene, they calm me; I always feel good after reading your poetry. Mike

Author's Reply:
Well, that's a lovely compliment Mike, and much appreciated.
Many thanks.
Val x


If I Had Ever Lived Before (posted on: 05-04-13)
If I had ever lived before .....

If I had ever lived before What would I then have been As a pauper low and poor Or as a noble Queen Would I have lived in gilded halls Or walked the streets in rags Owned portraits hung on silken walls Or humble canvas bags And did I dine at tables grand With diamonds in my hair Or walk bare-foot upon the sand Just memories to share But what'ever I might have been Of this much I am sure That rather than be rich and mean 'Tis better to be poor
Archived comments for If I Had Ever Lived Before
amman on 05-04-2013
If I Had Ever Lived Before
As elegant as ever Val. Nice sentiments.
Cheers

Author's Reply:
Thanks amman, and also for rating.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

geordietaf on 05-04-2013
If I Had Ever Lived Before
Neatly done. Was it Tessie O'Shea who said 'I've done rich and I've done poor. Rich is better.'?

Author's Reply:
Thanks geordietaf for commenting, and I would take rich too, but I couldn't be mean with it.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 05-04-2013
If I Had Ever Lived Before
Well said Val,and very true.I have been penniless and happy in my earlier days,but I had the love of a good woman.Pommer xxx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading, commenting and rating Pommer - being loved is priceless, but we do need cash to survive in society.The trick is to be content when we have enough, and to be generous when we have more than we need.
Best wishes.
Val xxx

stormwolf on 06-04-2013
If I Had Ever Lived Before
Well I reckon you have lived before. Never knew if you were rich or poor but feel you wrote poetry πŸ˜‰
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison - think I'd like to have a go at being rich next time, but there's no such thing as a rich poet methinks !!
Val x

Mikeverdi on 06-04-2013
If I Had Ever Lived Before
Great write Val. I have been well off and am now poor. I can say with complete certainty 'Its better to be well off'; Poor is a shit way to end up. In saying this I am rich in the fact I have a family that loves me and a shed load of memories. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Mike - yes, I think being rich is the preferable option, not that I am, but wouldn't mind giving it a try. Having a loving family is, of course, worth its weight, and never to be taken for granted.
Val x


Aspects of Spring (posted on: 01-04-13)
Appropriate for the time of year ...

See the flowers softly blooming All the trees, new leaves to bear Nature's beauty thus unfurling As we breathe the honeyed air Early now the sun is rising Spreading light across the ground Birds are nesting in the branches Hear them sing, the sweetest sound Gone is winter's cloak of darkness Farewell to that season's chill Welcome now the warmth of Springtime - Hail the saffroned daffodil Lifeless grass begins to flourish Coloured crocus grace the scene Fallowed land is now new seeded April showers – all is green In sweet fields, new lambs are prancing Up and down, in gay delight Soft white fleeces bathed in sunshine Such a splendid, beauteous sight Young love blossoms in the arbours Two entwined as clinging vine Eyes that meet in warm enchantment Lips as red as seasoned wine Yellow chicks and eggs of chocolate Easter bunnies – children smile Happiness is all around you - Take your time and stay awhile
Archived comments for Aspects of Spring
Weefatfella on 01-04-2013
Aspects of Spring
 photo bfa015ef-03f8-441a-953a-e17b9b577756_zpsda0c5131.jpg
Happy Easter to you too Val.
I've posted the flooers in the wrang sub.
Aw well, such is life.
Lovely sentiments again Val.
Though, lookin oot ma windae, the snaw is still lying. Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again WFF - lovely flowers. Hard to believe its Spring eh, maybe we're in for a good Summer for a change (tongue in cheek)!!
Val

Fox-Cragg on 01-04-2013
Aspects of Spring
Very British springtime, sights, sounds and smells. Love the line, saffroned daffodil.
Many thanks for sharing.
Paul

Author's Reply:
Thank you Paul - not much evidence of Springtime right now, but one can dream.
Pleased you liked.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 01-04-2013
Aspects of Spring
A gentle and comely write. If there is sweetness beauty and light, you are there to celebrate it - with more than just rhyme, for your love of nature surges through in all your work - I envy you Val....David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David, appreciate your comments very much.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 01-04-2013
Aspects of Spring
A gentle and comely write. If there is sweetness beauty and light, you are there to celebrate it - with more than just rhyme, for your love of nature surges through in all your work - I envy you Val....David

Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 02-04-2013
Aspects of Spring
There you go again, you are like a tonic wine...always there to pick me up; beautiful. Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Mike.
Val xxx


Within The Dreaming Hours (posted on: 01-04-13)
There within the dreaming hours ...

There within the dreaming hours Whisp'ring voices soft exclaim Carried on the gentle wind Calling, calling out my name Haunting echoes from the past Loved ones lost, so far away - Through my mem'ry sweet souls drift So upon my heart to play In the shadows, thus I see Images of those no more Flick'ring phantoms, as pale flames Dancing on the distant shore Reaching out, can I touch them Hold them in my trembling hand – Through my fingers they would slip Ne'er be grasped, like shifting sand So within the dreaming hours I shall linger, in my mind, Be with those fixed in my heart - Know the love, once more to find
Archived comments for Within The Dreaming Hours
Weefatfella on 01-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
 photo bfa015ef-03f8-441a-953a-e17b9b577756_zpsda0c5131.jpg
Aye Val, we all would love to meet again our departed loved ones.
Maybe we will.
It's a nice thought.
A lovely arrangement of words and emotions, which gives a good feeling for the reader.
Well done Val.
Absolutely beautiful as always.
Isn't that what it's all about?
Here's a wee pressie fur Easter,fae the  photo 211f28fb-55f5-423c-9058-04ade8869640_zps592f0d34.jpg
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much WFF, and the flowers are lovely. Happy Easter to you.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 01-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
Wonderful, Val! The imagery hits full tilt as words flowed effortlessly through my mind.

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Greg, so pleased you liked.
Best wishes.
Val

Hekkus on 01-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
Skilfully written, keeping its rhythm throughout. It's a fact that when a person is bereaved, they do dream of the departed. There's something very restful and reflective about this piece.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Hekkus for reading and commenting, very much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 02-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
Lovely, Val - and great to see you posting again.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, and for the nib if it was you - if not, thank you to whoever.
Val

Mikeverdi on 02-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
So pleased to see your work again Val, you know I love it. Mike xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Mike - like the proverbial bad penny eh !!
Val xxx

jay12 on 02-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
Deserving of the nibby!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jay12, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 02-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
I think this whispers to us all when we miss love ones in those moments between sleep and dreams. Lovely.

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much Savvi, your comments are appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

cooky on 03-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
Beautiful write i like this a lot.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Cooky, and for the super rating. Pleased you like it.
Val πŸ™‚

pommer on 03-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
This is really beautifully composed.It brought back memories and tears stood in my eyes reading the poem.It brought back so many memories for me from far away. Thank you for sharing Val. Pommer xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pommer for reading and commenting, and also for the great rating. As we become older, I think we start to dwell even more on those we have lost - am pleased you liked, and hope your tears and memories are happy ones.
Best wishes.
Val xxx

ChairmanWow on 05-04-2013
Within The Dreaming Hours
Evokes the loss and the found, bittersweet verse.

Ralph

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ralph for reading and commenting, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


Pink Ribbons (posted on: 08-03-13)
Pink ribbons span the evening sky .....

Pink ribbons span the evening sky And trim your feathered bed Now I will sing a lullaby Lay down your sleepy head You are the universal child You, the child of the world Born as to be yet sweet and mild With hair that's softly curled The world has seen another day The earth has turned again The birds have watched you laugh and play Between the sun and rain You are the universal child You, the child of the world By Mother Nature you are styled         In whom the rest are furled The world has passed yet slowly by This earth so turned in vain For, sorrowing, it saw you cry And felt your silent pain You are the universal child You, the child of the world I pray you'll never be defiled Nor fear at you be hurled
Archived comments for Pink Ribbons
Weefatfella on 08-03-2013
Pink Ribbons
 photo 93fe0fca-ac2d-451b-b74e-dd1b917176f4_zps1e26e487.jpg
Excellent as usual Val.
I enjoy reading your poetry Val.
At the risk of being called a big Sissy. I have to admit I feel relaxed when I read your work.
Thank you again for sharing.
Weefatfella.x

Author's Reply:
I hope no-one thinks you are a big sissy WFF - anyway, there's nothing wrong with being a wee bit gentle, shows you are in touch with your feminine side, doesn't it? Isn't that a good thing - means you are more psychologically integrated.
Thanks for commenting, and I am delighted you enjoy my work.
Val πŸ™‚

purplespirit on 08-03-2013
Pink Ribbons
Amazing poem Val! In deed I agree with Weefatfella's mention that reading your work is relaxing. To me it grants sort of peace and is soothing the turmoils of day. It is a joy to read your poems, thank you. Purple

Author's Reply:
Thanks so much Purple, much appreciated as always.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 09-03-2013
Pink Ribbons
I agree with WFF too, always a lovely gentle feel to your stuff.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 10-03-2013
Pink Ribbons
Always a good read sometimes a great read, you have never disappointed me. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike.
Val x


Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream) (posted on: 08-03-13)
Sonnet time again ....

O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream That passeth in the stillness of the night To capture souls and fill with vain esteem Then carry them above on wing'ed flight Enraptured be those caught in your domain With eyes that see naught but the one beloved Extolling ever with a sweet refrain Such passions, glowing warm like bosoms gloved O love, thou art a trickster of the mind All reason thus be gone and ever lost So clouding sight, yet furthermore to blind And then to onwards likely count the cost ..... True love must thence be sought with open eyes ..... Lest that beloved, one ever shall despise
Archived comments for Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
stormwolf on 08-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
Perfect, faultless. *BRAVO!*
You should have a bash at reciting these. If anyone wants to see how to display perfect rhyme and metre they need never look further than your page.
Alsion x

Author's Reply:
Wow, thanks Alison - such a comment and rating from you is like the pot of gold ! Don't think I'd be much good at reciting, unlike yourself.
Val x

Weefatfella on 08-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
 photo 93fe0fca-ac2d-451b-b74e-dd1b917176f4_zps1e26e487.jpg

Absolutely Val.

Love is blind and blinded, cares not a jot.

Weefatfella.x

http://youtu.be/DRIgpdNZEvA

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF for your valued comments.
Val πŸ™‚

franciman on 08-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
Val, I have no idea what the message in this sonnet is. For a sonnet, or any other form of verse to work, surely it must engage the reader, not the writer?
What is a bosom gloved? and what are souls that are captured and then filled with vain esteem?
I am happy to leave your verse alone, but you ask for critique. And so I give you that.
Having done so I will now leave your submissions well alone, as my intent is not to be malicious, simply to give an honest and one off opinion.
Good Luck Val. Many people will find your verse beautiful and I leave you to that fulsome praise.
cheers,
Jim


Author's Reply:
Jim
Bosom gloved - a heart that is warmed (not literally) by being in love.
Souls captured and filled with vain esteem - that feeling of being special when one is loved.
Hope this answers your questions and clarifies the meaning of the poem.
Val

cooky on 08-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
I like this.The line " Oh love,thou art a trickster of the mind" is brilliant and that will do for me.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating Cooky, much appreciated as always
Cheers.
Val πŸ™‚

franciman on 09-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
-On 2013-03-08 23:49, ValDohren wrote:
Having now received two, what I consider to be very unkind and hurtful comments from you, I have decided to terminate my account with UK Authors. I am sure you will be delighted about this, as you will no longer have to suffer reading my apparently pathetic attempts at writing. When one asks for critiques, they should be constructive and helpful rather than soul-destroying. Well done Jim, you have succeeded !!
[/quote]

Hi Val,
I have commented on more than two of your pieces. Whenever I have commented you have taken umbrage and decried my crit. Let me be honest here, I have no problem with anyone writing poetry. Poetry is a very personal thing, not of itself open to criticism, not of itself open to debate. Poetry posted on UKA is no different, except when you elect to have comment and critique. I have no personal act to grind. If you simply wish to showcase your work then it is a great site for that; but then why ask for comment and critique? If you tell me it is a sonnet and ask for comment, then I can hardly be blamed for giving my opinion on sonnets and your interpretation.
I love phonic poetry. Lyric poetry doesn't need meaning to make it meaningful, of itself. But good poetry imho does have to have the integrity of its parts. You cannot use words simply because they sound right, they have to mean something. If you cannot see that then maybe you shouldn't be trying to write sonnets. And you certainly shouldn't be asking me for an opinion.
I am sorry you have decided to leave. I am angry that you are using me as an excuse for leaving; and I am even more irate that you have pm'd me. Given my 'hurtful' comment, I would much rather you engaged me in public. At least that way other members would be able to judge for themselves whether my comments were untoward or hurtful.
Lastly, I would urge you to look at the timescale of my two 'hurtful' comments. I suggest to you that it is scant reason for leaving. I will not encourage you to stay, which is, I believe, what you are after. You must simply make up your own mind. I did foresee a reaction from you, which is why I said I would not visit your subs again. I feel that should be enough even for a fragile ego.
I do wish you well Val,
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 09-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
Oh Dear, well you cant please all of the people all of the time. As always opinions differ and I loved it. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike. I do not expect to please all of he people all of the time, I am happy with just a few. But there is such a thing as tact, which was clearly missing in this crit.
Thanks also for the great rating.
Val x

japanesewind on 09-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
Val, I would just like to say that being "tactful" is very hard when trying to give an honest post to an authors poem, you may have seen recently that I decided to
delete my post last week to a poem where my honesty was taken for something else entirely, I wanted to comment on your poem above for instance but feared doing so because my thoughts would be the same as Francimans and in all honesty would have gone way beyond them, how I would have done that with "tact" is beyond me, In reality Francimans questioning is like
gold dust to us.
I hope that if you look at Francimans post with fresh eyes you will see its value....with respect...David




Author's Reply:
I'm afraid I cannot agree with you on this David, tact and diplomacy is never or shouldn't be difficult, not if one has any true regard for the person on the receiving end. I don't agree with bluntness, never have -people have feelings.
Val


stormwolf on 09-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
See forum JW πŸ™‚
http://ukauthors.com/phorum5/read.php?11,212587

Author's Reply:

Weefatfella on 10-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)

 photo 93fe0fca-ac2d-451b-b74e-dd1b917176f4_zps1e26e487.jpg
http://youtu.be/DRIgpdNZEvA
weefatfella.

Author's Reply:

Andrea on 11-03-2013
Sonnet - III (O love, thou art but as a fleeting dream)
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww



Author's Reply:
How sweet of you Andrea, I am very touched. Thank you so much.

Val πŸ™‚


Oh Heart Of Mine (posted on: 04-03-13)
Oh heart of mine don't tarry long .....

Oh heart of mine don't tarry long Amongst the woeful earthly throng Oh let me 'bide in worlds above To feel that great celestial love Oh heart of mine don't linger here To dwell in sadness, pain and fear Relinquish yet the dark unknown Think not to ever be alone Oh heart of mine beat silently That none may know, nor hear, nor see How moves the sorrow hidden deep To take my soul, to take my sleep Oh heart of mine be still today Let not your dreams be blown away Do not be broken and forlorn Tomorrow brings another dawn Upon the wings of hope to fly Above the clouds, beyond the sky, To touch a land of peace divine My spirit with the stars align
Archived comments for Oh Heart Of Mine
stormwolf on 04-03-2013
Oh Heart Of Mine
Hi Val

I can see your work in a poetry book with illustrations on the opposite page. Your work is the kind that people might choose to read to relax and be uplifted as it has that certain olde worlde charm.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your lovely comments Alison, you are so kind.
Thanks also for the great rating.
Val x

Weefatfella on 04-03-2013
Oh Heart Of Mine
 photo 93fe0fca-ac2d-451b-b74e-dd1b917176f4_zps1e26e487.jpg
Hi Val, I agree with Alison.
A collection of your wonderful and therapeutic Poetry, would be a boon. I would buy it. This particular piece, to me, is very psalm like. I hope that's a good thing.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks WFF. My poetry has been described as psalm-like by others, although this was never my conscious intention. I am not religious, a devout disbeliever you might say, but I will take your comment to be the compliment it was obviously intended to be. Thanks for reading, and if I ever publish a book, which is highly unlikely, I will let you know. I am considering doing a Lulu e-book - my daughter is a Graphic Designer and can do the design work for me.
Cheers. Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 05-03-2013
Oh Heart Of Mine
So soothing soft and gentle, lovely to read out loud. I can see someone sat in a conservatory saying to the person in the next room, come here and sit down, let me read you this; "Oh heart of mine don’t tarry long" Thanks S

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and for the great rating Savvi, much appreciated.
Pleased you enjoyed the read.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 05-03-2013
Oh Heart Of Mine
May I refer you to previous mail between us. lol xx
Another terrific write from you Val, you have claimed this style as your own and people love it. Mike xx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Mike - some like it, but not all. But then, I have my own likes and dislikes, we are all different. I am of course delighted that my style is liked by some, and for that I am grateful. Thanks also for the rating.
Val xx


Infatuation (posted on: 04-03-13)
Bedazzled by the burning sun .....

Bedazzled by the burning sun Enchanted by the moon Enamoured by your loving kiss Enraptured all too soon So captivated by your charms You took my breath away It seemed that I could never live Without you through each day But swiftly as it came to be Yet quickly it did pass For now those stormy passions felt Lie crushed as shattered glass The flame that leapt within my heart Is now a dying ember And as I look into your eyes That flame I can't remember
Archived comments for Infatuation
Bozzz on 05-03-2013
Infatuation
Hi Val,
A sure sign of instant Pheromonia, if you get my meaning - loved it - for the sweet tooth - that's me - good rhyming too.

And thank you for your very kind wishes - yes, at our age it is slow to get better, but we are winning. XXX David and Meg

Author's Reply:
Thanks Bozzz - yes, those pheromones are little devils aren't they !! Good job we see sense as we get older, or at least I think we do. Thanks for the rating too.
Pleased you are winning with your health - keep it up.
Val xx, and for Meg xx


Lacrimosa (posted on: 01-03-13)
I saw the teardrops in their eyes .......

1 I saw the teardrops in their eyes Which filled my saddened heart with pain I pray sweet children, through all time, Such tears I'll never see again For I would set the world at rest If such was ever in my reach That peace would surely be the way To bring true love and joy to each 2 I saw the teardrops on your face - This life has thought to make you weep So now, my dearest, close on you A vigil I shall ever keep To mend and thus to ease your pain And so caress your weary mind Shall be my lifelong wish for you Together as for all mankind 3 I felt the teardrops on my lips Their salted taste my heart despaired As witnessed I those fettered souls Set on this earth, so full ensnared O that I could become the balm To soothe all those yet grieving so And bring sweet solace to each one That happiness is all they know 4 Then as towards the void I gazed The tears of angels glistened high Upon the stars, as night-time's glow Against the darkened moonlit sky All heaven's complement did weep So wretch'ed was their sad lament For all the heartache of the world Which ever brought such discontent
Archived comments for Lacrimosa

No comments archives found!
The Wind (posted on: 01-03-13)
No, this isn't a poem about indigestion !!!

The wind blew oh so wildly The night my father died It rag'ed like a tempest And on that night I cried Yet upon my wedding day The wind blew sweet and free Gently o'er my bridal gown To bless and honour me The wind blew calm and softly The day my child was born Whisp'ring oh so tenderly To welcome each new dawn And it shall yet be quiet No more to rage and roar When'er my life is over And I will be no more The wind will blow in fury When'er the world shall cease Then linger still and silent When all that reigns is peace
Archived comments for The Wind
cooky on 01-03-2013
The Wind
excellent manipulation of the wind.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Cooky, and also for the generous rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 01-03-2013
The Wind
Love it! as to the other sort of wind, my first marriage gave me that and I still suffer thirty years later! Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike - hope your wind soon gets better !!
Val x

Weefatfella on 01-03-2013
The Wind
 photo 9b36630f-9cb8-4537-bd8b-23c6c975cbb9_zps4bdf114f.jpg
Very emotive Val.
All things are relative.
Thank you, for another, very pleasant read.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF - glad you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

Fox-Cragg on 02-03-2013
The Wind
Lovely, moments in life captured on the breeze.
Fox-Cragg

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and rating Fox-cragg, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

chant_z on 02-03-2013
The Wind
Very interesting/original theme to me and very nicely executed. Fredrik

Author's Reply:
Many thanks chant, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

purplespirit on 02-03-2013
The Wind
Many different kinds of wind blow in our life and you painted a powerful picture from breeze to storm. Wishing you gentle breezes in life and season! Enjoyed your poem very much, excellently written Val. Purple

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your lovely comments Purple, so pleased you enjoyed.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 03-03-2013
The Wind
Hi Val
The faultless rhythm gives credence to the whole poem. So many seem to fall when writing in rhyme and rhythm is a very common one.
If I was to find fault (well not really fault πŸ˜‰ ) I would say that the title is too predictable. It does not do the poem justice.
I love nature and especially when someone weaves it into a poem like this.
Well done again

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Hi Alison - thank you for commenting and rating. Yes, I agree the title is somewhat prosaic, but am not sure of an alternative. I will give it some thought and see if I can come up with something more imaginative. I was inspired to write this one night when the wind was howling outside and it reminded me of when my father died on such a night, many years ago now.
Thank you again for reading my work - greatly appreciated.
Val x

Savvi on 03-03-2013
The Wind
Caught on the breeze, love what you've done with this meter is tight as are your rhymes. Lovely S

Author's Reply:
Thank you Savvi for reading and rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

MerleNoir on 05-03-2013
The Wind
The wind is everywhere...in all the changes within our lives, forever blowing about us. I just loved reading this...beautiful..im blown away πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much MerleNoir for your lovely comments, so pleased you enjoyed.
Thanks also for the rating, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Reflections (posted on: 25-02-13)
Behold the pregnant, silvered moon .....

Behold the pregnant, silvered moon Full mirrored in the shimm'ring sea Then shining low at early dawn The sun, as golden filigree Reflecting in the dancing waves To crown each glorious day anew The sky a dazzling oriflamme Soft glist'ning in the morning dew And see above the drifting clouds As o'er the land their shadows creep Like ghostly spectres ling'ring on The hills and valleys, nestling deep Then hear the mighty oceans break Against the rocks, so cold and grey Resounding 'cross the des'late shores To crash, untamed, then fade away For "as above then so below" The large reflected in the small So too the all-pervading power Lies deep in every living soul Reflected in each beating heart Each single atom, small yet vast As there within each grain of sand The boundless universe is cast So e'er the threads of thought unwind Each fantasy, inspired, to spin Reflections of the inner self Where all is still, so still, within
Archived comments for Reflections
Mikeverdi on 25-02-2013
Reflections
For me that's just beautiful Val, I love it. Mike

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting and rating Mike. Pleased you like.
Val x

Kat on 25-02-2013
Reflections
Thoroughly enjoyed this. Really love the majestic start. Again, great rhythm and command of metre.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Kat for your comments, much appreciated.
Pleased you enjoyed.
Val x

Andrea on 25-02-2013
Reflections
Easy rhyming, too - nothing forced about it. Lovely.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating Andrea.
Much appreciated as always.
Val x

cooky on 25-02-2013
Reflections
Lovely rythm. Except for the word soul seems to break the rythm. lovely write

Author's Reply:
Thank you Cooky for your comments. I am not sure how I could change this, but will give it some thought.
Thanks also for the rating.
Val

Weefatfella on 25-02-2013
Reflections
 photo 615f3747-f93a-4017-925a-493d3a9cd963_zps9cdcaec0.jpg
Absolutely beautiful Val.
I'll say no more.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Oh thank you so much WFF, you are very kind.
Val πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 25-02-2013
Reflections
Thank you so very much for the nom - greatly appreciated.

Val πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

Texasgreg on 27-02-2013
Reflections
Oh! Super observation of inspiration via beauty of the unknown which we see, yet still cannot fathom the power of.

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Greg.
Val πŸ™‚


Feelings (posted on: 25-02-13)
Feelings drift like echoes .....

Feelings drift like echoes Through hollows of the mind Touching all the senses As there within defined Tenderly they flutter As petals in the breeze And sweetly do they twitter Like birdsong in the trees Or they clap as thunder To rent your soul apart Searing as a knife wound Into your fragile heart Through all time they linger And deep within remain Bringing tears or laughter As happiness or pain
Archived comments for Feelings
Weefatfella on 25-02-2013
Feelings
 photo 615f3747-f93a-4017-925a-493d3a9cd963_zps9cdcaec0.jpg
Always a joy to read Val.
Thank You Again.
Weefatfella. x

Author's Reply:
Thank you again WFF, I really appreciate you reading my work.
Val πŸ™‚

purplespirit on 25-02-2013
Feelings
A really beautiful and touching read Val, perfectly in its message and you offer an enchanting picture woven by words, thank you. Purple

Author's Reply:
Thanks Purple for your lovely comments.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 25-02-2013
Feelings
Yes, you weave a tapestry of poetry with your words; you never fail to move me. Mike xx
Ps. I think you left a comment rather than a reply on wff's

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, also for the great rating. Have fixed the reply to WFF - thanks for pointing out, don't know how I did that (need to take more water with it !!).

amman on 26-02-2013
Feelings
I really like this Val, especially the way you contrast tenderness with hurt/happiness with pain. A top poem, indeed.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks amman, and for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Texasgreg on 27-02-2013
Feelings
Aye! Well described thought process that one goes through whilst writing...or even interacting at times.

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Greg, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


She Has Gone Now (posted on: 22-02-13)
My fickle Muse ..... !

She has gone now, lost to dreaming High above the vapoured clouds - As a wispy phantom drifting; Wrapped within enfolded shrouds No more words to stir my being Nor beguile my fretted mind - Silent as the moon yet fading; With my life no more to bind She has gone now, I remaining E'er to dwell in solitude - So bereft of thoughts to ponder; For my heart be now subdued Shall I reach out, try to touch her As she floats through ether's void - Yet I fear I may not grasp her; Thus my spirit be destroyed She has gone now, I am pleading Her return will ne'er be long - She has gone now, I am waiting; And in waiting, sing her song
Archived comments for She Has Gone Now
cooky on 22-02-2013
She Has Gone Now
A touching write with a lovely rythm. I like this

Author's Reply:
Thanks very much Cooky, and of course for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚

amman on 22-02-2013
She Has Gone Now
A lovely feel to this whimsical poem. I think your fickle muse is hiding in plain sight.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks amman, and for the great rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Kat on 22-02-2013
She Has Gone Now
Love this.

Oh, I wish I had the talent to rhyme without sounding very trite.

Really like the last stanza and line especially, as it makes your poem stand out from the mountain upon mountain of poems about lost muses...haha... which had an ironic and clever feel to it.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Kat. - we are lost without our Muses.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 24-02-2013
She Has Gone Now
Great writing again Val, it's so elegantly put together. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚ x


O What Of Sorrow (posted on: 18-02-13)
O what of sorrow, I ask, what of sorrow .....

O what of sorrow, I ask, what of sorrow Stealing the heart as a thief in the night Shall there be rapture, sweet joy for tomorrow Will there be sunshine to honour my sight Silent the music that graced all my hearing No more the rainbow to colour the sky Full is my mind with all sadness and fearing Hope yet forsakes me, forever to cry Where shall I look in the midst of despairing Which way to set my faint eyes in the shade How to see through all the veils that I'm wearing Anguish and darkness forever to fade O what of gladness, I ask, what of gladness Touching the soul like a freshly bloomed rose Shall it there 'bide yet to quell all my sadness Spreading its petals as sweetly it grows Filled with its splendour, and thus outward reaching Seeking forever to find its true course Living my life then within its great teaching Happy and joyous, and free of remorse Then shall I see all the light full surrounding Hear once again the sweet sound of the lark No more to feel yet the heartache confounding Follow the star leading out of the dark
Archived comments for O What Of Sorrow
cooky on 18-02-2013
O What Of Sorrow
I like this. A style which lends well to love and heartbreak.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Cooky, and for the great rating. Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 18-02-2013
O What Of Sorrow
 photo 615f3747-f93a-4017-925a-493d3a9cd963_zps9cdcaec0.jpg
Sadness is a terrible affliction.
You described it so well here.
Haven't we all been there.
Haven't we all been given a cake with a file in it though. Thanks again Val.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Great metaphor there WFF - how about a poem about such a cake !!
Thanks again for commenting - always valued.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 19-02-2013
O What Of Sorrow
beautiful again. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.
Val πŸ™‚


Earth (posted on: 18-02-13)
Shining as a lantern .....

Glowing as a lantern Against the shimm'ring stars Beautiful in splendour With Venus and with Mars She glides across the heavens Beneath a starlit dome A jewel in the universe This place which is our home Upon her lovely aspect Shines bright the dazzling sun Whose benediction granted The life that had begun Her verdant land then nurtured Her seas thus torn apart All living things created – For each a beating heart How lovely is this planet This piece of rock in space A haven for all creatures Our beauteous dwelling place
Archived comments for Earth
Kat on 18-02-2013
Earth
I really enjoyed this. A lovely, lulling tone like a lullaby...

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Kat, much appreciated.
Val x

e-griff on 18-02-2013
Earth
All good - meaning and metre (apart from V1 L4 which will be a wee bit awkward for some).



Author's Reply:
Thanks e-griff. Not sure why you think this line will be a bit awkward for some, though. I think most people know where earth is situated, and if not, doesn't the poem make it clear ?
Val πŸ™‚

Zoya on 18-02-2013
Earth
Yes, our Earth is indeed a blessing for all of us to nurture!

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Zoya.
Val πŸ™‚

e-griff on 18-02-2013
Earth
I was referring to the metre in that line, where 'Between' can be pronounced two ways, with the 'ween' stressed, or not. Usually it is not, but your metre demands that it is. For some people it will work, others will have to go back and reread the required way (which is exceedingly bad for any writing). Fixing it would mean 100pc of your readers wouldn't have that problem.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for clarifying - will consider how I can change.
Val

Weefatfella on 18-02-2013
Earth
 photo 615f3747-f93a-4017-925a-493d3a9cd963_zps9cdcaec0.jpg Absolutely Val. Your poetry is always so enjoyably pleasant to read.
Thank you very much.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for that lovely comment WFF - you are very kind, and your comments always much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 18-02-2013
Earth
Love the view from space, you capture us well. Thanks S

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Savvi.
Val πŸ™‚


Crimson River (posted on: 15-02-13)
A crimson river, lanyrinthine flows .....

A crimson river, labyrinthine flows Down streams traversing sinister terrains And onwards drifts along the path of life Through myriad courses, rivulets, and veins Along a way that takes it to the heart Then on to where the ring of love remains A crimson river weaving through your mind That twists and turns one billion-fold therein To search out all the feelings that you feel Plus all the memories that lie within To raise a train of thought that is sublime Of dreams, imagination set to spin
Archived comments for Crimson River
orangedream on 16-02-2013
Crimson River
This beautiful poem certainly transported me, Val. Lovely descriptions and imagery.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thanks Tina, your comments are much appreciated.

Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 17-02-2013
Crimson River
 photo 615f3747-f93a-4017-925a-493d3a9cd963_zps9cdcaec0.jpg
Aye, Val. The blood is the life. ( Bram Stokers Dracula) Enjoyed this.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again WFF - glad you enjoyed.

Val


Alone (posted on: 15-02-13)
A single rose with thorny stem .....

A single rose with thorny stem On mother nature's tattered hem Which no-one cares to steal away So left to wither and decay And just one teardrop on the hand Brushed upon the dusty sand To be consumed into the earth As one which has no lasting worth There stands alone a single tree No leaf upon it you will see Beneath it grows no bush or flower Empty, barren, silent bower A lonely candle burning bright Extinguished rudely in the night Leaving shadows set behind The shuttered windows in the mind To tread a path that leads nowhere (None to love, none to care) A battered old grandfather clock Marking time – tick tock, tick tock A single petal on the bloom A single chair, an empty room A place of silent solitude A place with loneliness imbued I see a monolith of stone A vision of the one – alone A single soul alone to cry A single soul alone to die
Archived comments for Alone
orangedream on 15-02-2013
Alone
Such a poignant poem, Val...beautifuly penned;-) Very much enjoyed.

Tina

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Tina, glad you liked.

Val πŸ™‚


Mikeverdi on 16-02-2013
Alone
Not so sure about this one Val, the last two verses don't seem to sit well for me on the written page; all the A's are a bit too regimented. I read it aloud to myself and it seemed better though. Sorry πŸ™ Mike xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Mike. I agree all the A's look a bit odd, but am not sure how I could make changes. This is another older write which I need to revisit pending your comments, and which I shall do when my Muse returns !!
Thanks also for the rating.

Val x

cooky on 16-02-2013
Alone
I like this. Beautifully crafted for me. The last two verses look on paper to be different, but I think it brings the meaning of the poem to fruition

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Cooky - I think the string of A's perhaps does need rethinking, though I wouldn't wish to change the content of the last two stanzas, especially in view of your positive comments. Thank you also for the great rating.

Val πŸ™‚


Weefatfella on 17-02-2013
Alone
 photo 615f3747-f93a-4017-925a-493d3a9cd963_zps9cdcaec0.jpg
Loneliness must be a terrible thing.
Being left on the shelf also must be torture.
Your poem made me re-appreciate my family.
Thank you Val.
Sometimes we all need a reminder of how fortunate we are.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks WFF. You are so right, we are social creatures and need companionship - there are too many lonely people.

Val


Sonnet - IV (Speak truly if you deem to speak of love) (posted on: 11-02-13)
Another love sonnet - well, it is soon to be Valentine's Day ....

Speak truly if you deem to speak of love No falsehood should the gentle soul endure Nor be deceived by words designed to move If such are rendered by a heart impure For truth should always be the lover's tool To captivate and charm the one romanced Let no-one seek to therefore be so cruel To serve the heart thus which be sweet entranced O let your words be tender and sincere Proclaiming love thenceforth forever true Such that the one beguiled you full endear And bring her ever closer then to you ….. The heart enraptured thus will so remain ….. Forever in your keep and ne'er shall wane
Archived comments for Sonnet - IV (Speak truly if you deem to speak of love)
cooky on 11-02-2013
Sonnet - IV (Speak truly if you deem to speak of love)
I like this. A very commercial piece for valentines.Might use it myself, will save me the expense of buying a rose and chocs. We Yorkshireman watch our pennies you know.

Author's Reply:
Ooh Cooky, don't renege on the rose and chocs - lucky lady. I just about get a card !!
Thanks for comment and rating.
Val πŸ™‚


Sonnet - V (O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave ...) (posted on: 11-02-13)
Hehehe - Shakespeare wants this Love Sonnet to be published in time for Valentines Day .....

O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave, For those betrayed shall forthwith be undone - As by thy will thou ever thus deceive, And therefore with thy guile conceal the sun. To serve thy love thus shall be deemed unjust Against the one to whom thy heart be pledged - Forsooth, such feelings be no more than lust And shall depart as like a fledgling, fledged. Be true, O heart, towards those e'er esteemed Lest they take wing, so like thy fledgling muse - For thus soft transport may ne'er be redeemed, Nor linger that you shall e'er more abuse. ….. O faithless heart, do not your love betray ….. If thou would have thy sweetheart ever stay.
Archived comments for Sonnet - V (O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave ...)
stormwolf on 11-02-2013
Sonnet - V (O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave ...)
Does the bard proud. πŸ˜‰

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison, and for the rating. Thought I'd give Willie a bit of competition, though he is undoubtedly the winner of course.
Val x

Weefatfella on 11-02-2013
Sonnet - V (O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave ...)
 photo 615f3747-f93a-4017-925a-493d3a9cd963_zps9cdcaec0.jpg
Well I couldn't tell if it wiz Willie or not. there's no enough difference tae shake a spear at.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wonderful work in its own right.
Thanks for sharing.
Weefatfella

Author's Reply:
Ooh thanks WFF, roll over Shakey !!
Val πŸ™‚

Pronto on 11-02-2013
Sonnet - V (O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave ...)
Shades of Shakespear but a lot more understandable well penned dear poet!

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Pronto, and for the rating. Not much good at this cryptic stuff, either writing or reading - taxes the brain to much !!
Val πŸ™‚

butters on 11-02-2013
Sonnet - V (O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave ...)
sound message solidly delivered in full-on sonneteer-styling

kudos for the skills involved, staying true to language-choices and not losing sight of the message.

Author's Reply:
Ta very much butters - your comments are always valued.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 13-02-2013
Sonnet - V (O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave ...)
Agree with butters - really nice πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Andrea, and for the nib - didn't expect that, but very nice to receive.
Much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 14-02-2013
Sonnet - V (O faithless heart, what sorrow thou dost weave ...)
How did I miss this one! Well done with the Nib. Xx



Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for the rating.
Val xx


What Becomes of Love That Falters (posted on: 08-02-13)
What becomes of love that falters .....

What becomes of love that falters Skies that turn from blue to grey Tenderness which coldness alters Eyes then sadly turn away Hearts bereft of gentle feeling With the passing of the years Love once at the altar kneeling Turning thus to bitter tears Arms that ever were enfolding Kisses sweet as summer rain Hands so clasped and tightly holding Parted now as love doth wane Lost in dreams to feel that splendour So unbounded long ago Whispered words then sweet and tender Blown away, no more to know Cold and dark the waking morning Sorrow borne the new day brings Ever sad the moment dawning When the heart no longer sings
Archived comments for What Becomes of Love That Falters
cooky on 09-02-2013
What Becomes of Love That Falters
A good heart break poem. Not many people like the sadness but it is part of poetry and I like this.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Cooky - I think a lot of poetry is about sadness, the human condition.
Pleased you like, and I hope it didn't make you too sad !
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 10-02-2013
What Becomes of Love That Falters
Sorry to be so long in getting to this one. Much of my poetry and writing is in the same vain (but not the style) I respond to your writing as you know, you have an elegant way with words that I love. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike - no need for apologies, I appreciate your support.
We each have our own style, that which comes naturally to us, and each should have its own merit.
I enjoy all styles of writing as long as it is good writing, which yours always is, of course.
Thanks also for the great rating.
Val x

stormwolf on 10-02-2013
What Becomes of Love That Falters
Beautiful , Val.
Very true and I am so glad I never knew it. I love all the men I ever loved, still.

Alision x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison - good for you, you obviously have a great capacity to love.
Thanks again for the rating, much appreciated, and for reading my work. I
value your support.
Val x

Andrea on 10-02-2013
What Becomes of Love That Falters
I think we've all been there, Val - very sad.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea, much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Vistas New (posted on: 08-02-13)
O the beauty of the morning .....

O the beauty of the morning Fixed before my slumbered eyes So to greet me as the dawning Sets aglow the darkened skies Golden sunlight thus abounding Softly then my heart to steal With such glory full surrounding All creation to reveal Seize a moment from your sorrows Pause in silent reverie See those ever new tomorrows Lost in time to set us free Each new day may yet surrender All the shadows of the night As to bathe the soul in splendour Bearing pure unclouded sight Vistas new arise through dreaming Bringing hope to ease the mind In the darkness ever beaming Shines a light that shall unbind
Archived comments for Vistas New
Kazzmoss on 08-02-2013
Vistas New
Nice poetry, soft gentle and loving πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Kazzmoss, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 08-02-2013
Vistas New
Another beautiful, gentle piece, Val.

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Andrea, and for rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Miel on 08-02-2013
Vistas New
Beautifully expressed - ValDohren

Author's Reply:
Thank you Miel, and for rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Pronto on 08-02-2013
Vistas New
Excellent write poet very romantic and flowing, beautiful balance.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pronto, much appreciated, and also for the rating.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Weefatfella on 08-02-2013
Vistas New
 photo UKABueeyedhush.gif
Absolutely Beautiful.
Loved it.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Aw, thanks Weefatfella, so pleased you like.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 08-02-2013
Vistas New
You never fail to raise my spirits xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Mike, and for the great rating.
Best wishes.
Val xx

Savvi on 08-02-2013
Vistas New
I can draw back the curtains and breath this in, truly you describe and wonderful morning. S

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading, commenting and rating Savvi.
Pleased you liked.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


Sonnet - II (I pray you shall not leave me in the Spring) (posted on: 04-02-13)
Oh no, not another Sonnet !! .....

I pray you shall not leave me in the Spring Nor yet in Autumn ever to depart I could not bear to hear the sweet birds sing If then you chose to break my tender heart I beg you do not leave in Summertime When all the flowers be in fullest bloom O leave me not in Winter's icy clime For then, my love, would ever be too soon And when the bright sun rises every day So too when evening shadows soft descend 'Tis then I ask that you will ever stay That our sweet love may never yet thus end ..... O leave me when my heart has turned to stone ..... For then, my love, I deem to be alone
Archived comments for Sonnet - II (I pray you shall not leave me in the Spring)
bo_duke99 on 04-02-2013
Sonnet - II (I pray you shall not leave me in the Spring)
and why not, enjoyed it

Author's Reply:
Thanks Bo, pleased you enjoyed.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 05-02-2013
Sonnet - II (I pray you shall not leave me in the Spring)
Hi Val,
You do this so well so why on earth 'hide your light under a bushel? '
There is a grace and beauty to it that is lost in many forms of more modern poetry so never apologise for expressing your unique ability. πŸ˜‰

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Alison, your words mean a lot.
Great rating too.
Val x

Mikeverdi on 05-02-2013
Sonnet - II (I pray you shall not leave me in the Spring)
Take heart from this, for this is what you are, a poet who writes truly great poetry. You write what most can only read ( like me) don't take this away from me. Mike xx

Author's Reply:
Many thanks again for your kind words Mike, you have helped my confidence.
So pleased you have enjoyed reading, and I love your work too.
Val xx

purplespirit on 07-02-2013
Sonnet - II (I pray you shall not leave me in the Spring)
Awesome beauty in this poem and a very moving read. Finding this poem today was a gift, thank you Val. Purple

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Purple, I am delighted you enjoyed reading. I know sonnets are not to everyone's liking, so I am pleased you approve.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


Aquarius (posted on: 04-02-13)
The Fish are dying .....

The Fish are dying Polluted our crystal clear waters Our once green valleys, choked and grey With the debris of living - Lost is all Virginity And the orbs clamber through space Gasping for breath Yet now a new Age dawns amidst the turmoil Promise of a Golden Age for man (Insensitive automaton) And everywhere the cry - "Big Brother is watching you" "BIG-BROTH-ER-IS-WATCH-ING-YOU"
Archived comments for Aquarius
bo_duke99 on 04-02-2013
Aquarius
and no-ones watching Big Brother back any more.....

Author's Reply:
Seems to me everybody's watching everyone else !!
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 05-02-2013
Aquarius
I find it hard to live in this world at times. Such terrible times are upon us.
It takes a 'going inwards' to find balance.
A very thought provoking poem.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
This is a very old write Alison, goes back to the 70's when I took an interest in Astrology and learnt a little about the incoming age of Aquarius and the departing age of Pisces. Thought that if I was going post it, then it had better be now before the next 2000 years have passed, haha. Agree with you about the "going inwards" - a necessary diversion from this world.
Pleased you like it.
Val x

Bozzz on 05-02-2013
Aquarius
Good poem Val - yes we are all being watched, but nobody is looking where it really matters !

The β€˜Sulch’ is water’s cry of pain,
As gurgling – it meets the drain;
Angry at pollution and dismissal.
Pure when rising from the main,
Then we pollute for social gain.
Dirtied water / bodies cleaner than a whistle?

Our forbears must with reason feel,
There is no justice in this deal.
Amoeba, paramoecium cry β€œShame”!
While seeking cleanliness we steal
Our mother earth’s most precious weal;
The very ponds from whence we came.



Author's Reply:
Very true Bozzz, 'big brother' is not looking in the right places.
Thanks for commenting.
Val πŸ™‚

purplespirit on 10-02-2013
Aquarius
A thought stirring poem Val and it causes heart ache to realize that it is the truth, we are destroying the values of next generations life. Right now here, our little world looks so virgine due to fresh snow and lots of untouched nature, but it is rather a gentle mask Winter has put on, while nothing will have changed come Spring again. (Big brother is rather only watching for his own benefit). Enjoyed the read, thanks. Purple

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Purple, appreciate your comments.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


Sonnet - I (O shall you love me through my mellowed years) (posted on: 01-02-13)
I know Sonnets aren't 'in' but just thought I would have a go - variety is the spice of life, and all that .....

O shall you love me through my mellowed years When I am no more as the rising sun As less my visage to your heart endears – The sweetness age thus ever has undone And wilt thou fix your smile upon my face Enjoin your fingers with my weathered hand Then in your arms yet tenderly embrace As if my life all time had never spanned Or shall the years so meet with your disdain As when you look upon this ag'ed brow O shall you not see beauty there again Or know once more the joys that youth endow ..... I pray that love may ever so endure ..... Unblemished by the years forever more
Archived comments for Sonnet - I (O shall you love me through my mellowed years)
Mikeverdi on 01-02-2013
Sonnet - I (O shall you love me through my mellowed years)
For me it was a triumph, one day I must try this myself.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the great rating.
Val x

Bozzz on 02-02-2013
Sonnet - I (O shall you love me through my mellowed years)
Val, I think your sonnet is very clever as well as beautiful and sad. The "When I'm 64" stuff as it should be written! Bravo for having a go too.... David

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Bozzz, and for the rating.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 02-02-2013
Sonnet - I (O shall you love me through my mellowed years)
I know poetry seems to have 'fashions' but I am sure it is not easy to write like this but to you it comes as natural. This is no mean feat.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Alison, appreciated as always. Thanks also for the rating.
Val x


Demon Skies (posted on: 01-02-13)
The pale moon floats through demon skies .....

The pale moon floats through demon skies Her aspect cold and eerie Against the raging storm she vies – Her heart thus ever weary So solitary in the night Suspended there in sorrow Yet waiting for the dawn's sweet light - A brighter new tomorrow All frenzy quits in daytime's glow For silent be the morning - And deep in shadows set below Then comes the sun's new dawning The pale moon sleeps in demon skies Afraid of night's returning So dark, eclipsed, as there she cries In secrecy and yearning
Archived comments for Demon Skies
stormwolf on 01-02-2013
Demon Skies
Another nice one. Liked the repetition of the first line in the last stanza.

Alison x



Author's Reply:
Many thanks Alison.
Val x

Mikeverdi on 01-02-2013
Demon Skies
Great words and great writing Val. The repeat holds all together beautifully. Mike xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike - pleased you like.
Val x

Miel on 01-02-2013
Demon Skies
A great write well rhymed and the repetition of the first line in the last stanza is very effective

Author's Reply:
Thank you Miel for commenting and rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 01-02-2013
Demon Skies
Val, you make this well-worn subject sound fresh and beautiful - lively description of nature's slow process.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Bozzz.
Val πŸ™‚


What Say You My Heart So Tender (posted on: 28-01-13)
What say you my heart so tender .....

What say you my heart so tender In the glow of eventide When the world is calm and silent And all tears fore'er subside Shall you greet the coming dawning Peacefully in sweet repose Or shall you renounce in fury All you cherish, at the close As the clouds caress your slumber And all dreams then fade from sight Will you cease your ardent pounding At the coming of the night Or shall you throb ever stronger Sore afraid to free the bind Grasping tightly at the passing There within your troubled mind See, O see the darkling moonlight Watch the shining rising sun Slip into eternal rapture When the day is ever done Sleep as like a babe so tranquil In the arms of loving care Give yourself to stillness 'biding Rest forever, peaceful there What say you my heart so tender As you take your last encore Shall you whimper as a childling - Or be still and beat no more
Archived comments for What Say You My Heart So Tender
bo_duke99 on 28-01-2013
What Say You My Heart So Tender
'See, O see the darkling moonlight' - you used the freedom this style gives you to get the lines just right

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting.
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 28-01-2013
What Say You My Heart So Tender
I loved it as always, you have made this style your own. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Mike, and for rating.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


cooky on 29-01-2013
What Say You My Heart So Tender
Beautiful rythm and a lovely poem, I like this

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Cooky, and for the great rating. So pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 29-01-2013
What Say You My Heart So Tender
A truly lovely romantic style you have, Val.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, you are very kind.
Thanks also for rating.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 31-01-2013
What Say You My Heart So Tender
Another flawless rendition. The old fashioned style may not be to everyone's taste but you do it so well.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Alison, much appreciated.
Val x


Fortress (posted on: 28-01-13)
No walls of stone were ever cast .....

No walls of stone were ever cast Nor yet as such defined To equal thus the fortress built Where I be so confined And ever shall this fortress hold My soul within its keep That none shall deem to touch or see Whilst there it lingers deep Enclosed within, this fragile heart Then finds a refuge there Away from all to trouble me Hid low from worldly glare Yet if true love these walls could shake And tender words could raze Then merrily I would rejoice To welcome sweeter days So ever shall I seek release Through love`s redeeming grace - This fortress then would, crumbling, fall To show the sun`s bright face
Archived comments for Fortress
Mikeverdi on 28-01-2013
Fortress
I just love reading you work Val. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kind words Mike, and also for rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 28-01-2013
Fortress
So do I. It's very soothing, somehow.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Andrea.
Val πŸ™‚

bo_duke99 on 28-01-2013
Fortress
kept form admirably to the end

Author's Reply:
Thanks again for reading and commenting, much appreciated.
Val

Miel on 28-01-2013
Fortress
Very well rhymed.. I enjoyed reading this poem

Author's Reply:
Thank you Miel, and for the rating.
Much appreciated.
Val

Weefatfella on 28-01-2013
Fortress
Photobucket

Absolutely loved it.
Thank you for sharing.
Weefatfella

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF, pleased you liked.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 28-01-2013
Fortress
It really is a treat to read such well crafted lines.
They are heartening and gentle. I can tell you take great care over your work and that itself is uplifting.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kind comments Alison, and for taking the time to read and rate my work.
Always very much appreciated.
Val x

Savvi on 28-01-2013
Fortress
I love reading your work out loud it just glides along, lovley thanks S

Author's Reply:
Thank you for the lovely compliment Savvi, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

cooky on 29-01-2013
Fortress
Love the imagery. I enjoyed this one a lot.Good write

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Cooky, and for the great rating.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

butters on 29-01-2013
Fortress
such mellifluous writing, and adherence to form that never feels forced to get that rhyme-scheme.

people would have to go a long way to best you at what you do so very well :flower:

9, for the skills involved.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your comments Jan, and for the rating. Guess I am just an old-fashioned writer, and this is how I see poetry.
There are many great modern writers on this site whose work I could never equal - I couldn't reach their standards and therefore continue to write in the style which comes more naturally to me.
Val πŸ™‚

amman on 30-01-2013
Fortress
Lovely poem, Val. like the sense of optimism at the end. Rocked my boat.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Thank you kindly Amman, and for the super rating.
Pleased you liked.
Best wishes. Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 30-01-2013
Fortress
Dear Val, You are a loving and therefore a lovable person - and naturally it shows in your poetry. Your modesty on style is misplaced - you have what others lack. As the 'girly' magazines all say - if you've got it, flaunt it !! For concept and execution, a good write with a hint of invitation....David

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your kind words David, and for taking the time to read and comment on my work, also for the great rating. I very much value and appreciate your support, which is very encouraging to me.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚


Lost (posted on: 25-01-13)
Night falls, and only dreams remain ...

Night falls, and only dreams remain Dim dreams of all that might have passed - Set deep in shadows, thus my soul Beneath the dying sun is cast For darkness steals tomorrow's light And folly be a trusting heart - 'Tis those with feathered wings that soar To vistas which new hope impart So lost, as in a limbo'd place, I yearn that I shall find a home - With no more endless paths to tread And no more empty fields to roam But on through des'late years I fare 'Cross barren lands beset with woe - E'er searching for a place to be E'er searching for a place to go Ah, then to seek my heart's desire To cherish ever as my own - The one to set my soul aflame That I may be no more alone (O should I ever, shall I dare, With open arms to full embrace Yet seek the thing I deem to love Then gaze upon that one sweet face) But faint my will to dare to do All courage does my heart deny Forever weak, condemned by fear, And therefore shall my soul yet die Soft petals from the rose thus fall For I am but a wilted flower Encaptured in a hapless world And seeded in a shaded bower
Archived comments for Lost
cooky on 25-01-2013
Lost
Nice rythm painting the uncertainty of life. unusual write which I like a lot.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Cooky, and also for the rating.
Much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 25-01-2013
Lost
This is beautiful Val, and I love it. Thanks for posting again. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, pleased you like it. Thanks also for the great rating which is very encouraging.
Best wishes.
Val

ChairmanWow on 26-01-2013
Lost
Evocative of the yearning that is often at the heart of the human condition...

Ralph

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and commenting Ralph.
Much appreciated
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 26-01-2013
Lost
Don’t just sit there man saying β€œnice poem, thanks”. Doo something. Dear Val, er umm, Nice poem er – actually one of your best er um. I am not quite lost – for words that is – (and nor it seems are you), but I really do like this one…. David

Author's Reply:
Thank you er - umm - so much er David, you are erm so kind !
Thanks also er umm for the rating too.
Val πŸ™‚

Texasgreg on 28-01-2013
Lost
Aye! It brought forth visions of your "spirit" searching the vast expanses for answers, (whilst in flight), during dream.

lovely!

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting Greg.
Val πŸ™‚


Another Year (posted on: 25-01-13)
Another year has set its course .....

Another year has set its course Within the wheels of time With many pathways to traverse And mountains yet to climb The seasons thus will bring their change As through the year they pass With flowers blooming in the Spring And winter's wilted grass Then sunrise ever shall return And set each closing day - Young hearts shall tender love embrace Soft words to fondly say New lives will take their first sweet breath Green fields be there to plough - All those whose time has ceased to be Will make their final bow The year will bring great joy to some Whilst others sorrowed be Yet all we know for sure, the earth Shall turn relentlessly And this is as was ever meant As nature leads the way With time's unfolding plan for all Throughout each coming day
Archived comments for Another Year
Weefatfella on 25-01-2013
Another Year
Photobucket
Lovely sentiments. Enjoyed.
Thanks for sharing .
Weefatfella

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Weefatfella.
Val

amman on 25-01-2013
Another Year
lovely sentiments indeed in this beautifully constructed and quite philosophical poem. Can't fault it.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Amman for reading, commenting and rating.
Val

Red-Poppies on 25-01-2013
Another Year
Beautiful flow to this piece - the rhyme works well, nothing contrived or forced in its make-up.

Enjoyed.



Author's Reply:
Thank you Red Poppies for reading and commenting, also for rating.
Much appreciated.
Val

Bozzz on 25-01-2013
Another Year
Agree with Red Poppies - plain speaking and well-managed, well-mannered text. A pleasing poem....David

Author's Reply:
Thank you David, pleased you like.
Val

butters on 25-01-2013
Another Year
such a soothing read - comforting, even! thankyou for this quiet, chilled-out piece.

Author's Reply:
Thanks butters, comments and rating much appreciated.
Val

Mikeverdi on 26-01-2013
Another Year
So good and So you, I am so pleased you are posting xxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Mike, and thanks also for your continuing support. Not one of my best, just put it together for the New Year. Still not convinced this is the site for me, but will see how it goes.
Best wishes.
Val xxx

stormwolf on 26-01-2013
Another Year
Totally top class rhythm, faultless. A strong rhythm makes a poem a pleasure to read as the lines invite the reader along.

It speaks of the cycles of life and nature in a soft way.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Aliso for reading, commenting, and also for rating.
Always appreciated
Best wishes. Val x

Kat on 26-01-2013
Another Year
I really enjoyed this and so admire someone who can write with such rhyme and rhythm which I suck at... haha.

Kat x

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Kat, and I am sure you do not "suck" at rhyme and rhythm!!
Best wishes.
Val x


Somewhere Shines A Diamond (posted on: 21-12-12)
Somewhere shines a diamond .....

Somewhere shines a diamond Within the cold, grey stone Silently it slumbers Set deep and yet unknown Hidden there in secret Concealed from mortal sight Glist'ning in the shading A dazzling shining light Somewhere full enshrouded A glinting speck of gold Waits to be uncovered So lovely to behold Longing for the dawning When sunlight strikes the land Revealing all this beauty Fixed in the burning sand Somewhere in the twilight A ray of hope shines through Fading all the shadows Surrounding me and you I have searched a lifetime These treasures yet to find Are they bound in darkness Or there within my mind
Archived comments for Somewhere Shines A Diamond
Mikeverdi on 21-12-2012
Somewhere Shines A Diamond
Don't let this be the last Val, it's beautiful. Mike xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.
All the best.
Val πŸ™‚

Andrea on 21-12-2012
Somewhere Shines A Diamond
Your metre and rhyming really is very, very good. Can't fault it, and love the oldie-worldy feel to your poetry too. It's like looking at a painting by an old master. Makes a lovely change from the pretentious stuff some write (not on UKA I hasten to add!)

Author's Reply:
Many thanks again Andrea, your comments are always valued and appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val x

cooky on 21-12-2012
Somewhere Shines A Diamond
Oh so many wonderful things in life are hidden. We just need to look harder. I like this

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and rating Cooky, appreciated as always.
All the very best.
Val x

stormwolf on 22-12-2012
Somewhere Shines A Diamond
I am very much reminded of Patience Strong when I read this.
Is the last line a question?

lovely rhythm as always.
Alison x


Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison. A question for oneself.
Val x

Texasgreg on 30-12-2012
Somewhere Shines A Diamond
A diamond in the rough, as are you...

Aye! love the feeling.

Greg πŸ™‚

Photobucket.

Author's Reply:
Well I've never been called a rough diamond before, but I'll take it as a compliment.
Val πŸ™‚

purplespirit on 24-01-2013
Somewhere Shines A Diamond
You know, I'm so glad to find your poems this morning, this one is simply a precious gem itself, meaningful, perfect rhyme and flow and a delightful read, thank you! Purple xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you again for commenting Purple, so pleased you enjoyed the read.
Val πŸ™‚


Star (posted on: 21-12-12)
A Christmas poem .....

I scarce could see the rainbow's hue Through teardrops in my eyes Nor hear the skylark singing sweet In soft and sapphire skies O heavy was my heart, as then All hope seemed cast away - Upon the windows of my soul The light no more did play But still there seemed a gentle glow In distant reaches set As there a lone star shone above To herald fortune yet I pondered thus upon the scene All fixed before my sight An awesome feeling stirred within - Such wonder and delight How could this star yet move me so To set my soul aflame - Why should it ever steal the void And reap all heaven's acclaim (There be a tale from ages passed Of such a star, so fine, Which then, 'tis said, resplendent shone Upon the land, divine) What story do you deem to tell What secrets do you hold - To render hope, are you set there, And all true dreams unfold - O star that gleams beyond, above, On high for all to see Bestow your grace across the world Upon humanity MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL, AND MY THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO READ AND COMMENT ON MY WORK. πŸ™‚
Archived comments for Star
Andrea on 21-12-2012
Star
This is lovely, Val, so gentle and sweet. Optimistic, too, in these dark days. Very much enjoyed.


MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, and for the rating too.
Very best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 22-12-2012
Star
Merry christmas x you've made me feel all festive thanks

Author's Reply:
Thanks Savvi.
All the very best.
Val x

stormwolf on 22-12-2012
Star
I second Andrea!
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison.
All the very best.
Val x

Ionicus on 22-12-2012
Star
As Andrea said a sweet and optimistic poem. I particularly like the first stanza.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi.
All the very best.
Val x


In Fields of Blue (posted on: 17-12-12)
In fields of blue I long to dwell .....

In fields of blue I long to dwell And frolic 'neath the sun – To mingle with the scented air With each new day begun Then yet to float within the mist That lingers all around - Be as a wraith, to drift and spin, Above the rugged ground No substance to my earthly form Nor weight to bear me down As then I yearn to twist and turn Draped in a silken gown Be thus my senses unconfined Within a mortal frame Untethered from all things that own - So like a dancing flame To see and hear, to touch, inspire The perfume of a rose - Such fragrance sweet as angel`s breath Diffusing as it grows Then with the spirits of the land My heart would so rejoice - To ever chant their gentle lay As in a single voice So sing, O Shining Ones,* yes sing Of joy, of hope, of love, And I, with thee, will render thus Sweet music from above In fields of blue I long to dwell My dreams abiding there - Forever dancing through all time With flowers in my hair *Devas (nature spirits) (In Buddhism the blue Lotus symbolises the victory of the spirit over the senses).
Archived comments for In Fields of Blue
Mikeverdi on 17-12-2012
In Fields of Blue
so beautiful and so you. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Mike, and for the great rating.
Val x
πŸ™‚

butters on 19-12-2012
In Fields of Blue
Be thus my senses unconfined
Within a mortal frame
Untethered from all things that own -
So like a dancing flame

To see and hear, to touch, inspire
The perfume of a rose


just lovely lines, Val; you absolutely own this style of writing.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again butters, and for the rating.
Pleased you like - a little whimsical, but yes, my style I guess.
All the best.
Val x

Andrea on 19-12-2012
In Fields of Blue
You have a unique style, Val - lovely.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Savvi on 19-12-2012
In Fields of Blue
Lovely lines, light and so bright like an out of body butterfly

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Savvi.
Very best wishes to you.
Val πŸ™‚


Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years (posted on: 17-12-12)
Through all my five and time-spun years .....

Through all my five and time-spun years I've watched the moon full wax and wane Beheld the oceans ebb and flow – Walked in the sunshine and the rain I've glimpsed the flowers bloom in Spring In Autumn's chill, their petals fall Known much of happiness and pain Seen those set low 'neath those stood tall I've fixed my eyes upon the dawn Upon the dazzling setting sun Have thus beheld the glitt'ring stars In full display when day is done And in the passing of the years As earth in all her beauty turns I've known the seasons marking time And witnessed every soul that yearns I've watched the rich man take his fill The poor man falter in his wake Known those who walk on fallow ground And those the world chose to forsake I've smiled through all my halcyon days With joy and splendour to abide But in the darker hours when spent That`s when I've cried, O how I've cried So what remains in future years For such I cannot yet foretell - Whatever time be left for me I deem that I shall use it well
Archived comments for Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Mikeverdi on 17-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Simply beautiful, this is why you are one of my favorites. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Mike.
Val x
πŸ™‚

cooky on 17-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Lovely write with a beautiful flow.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Cooky, much appreciate.
Val x
πŸ™‚

Miel on 17-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
A beautiful and wise poem..

Author's Reply:
Thank you Miel, much appreciated, and for the great rating.
Val x
πŸ™‚

butters on 17-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
really really nice, even the title ... in fact, especially the title as that's what grabbed my attention first of all.

if I had to pinpoint one nitpick, it'd be the rep of 'fall' in V2: where you manage to use different rhymes right the way through, it stands out simply because it's the same word. a very small thing in a lovely write, Val, and not really detrimental.

Author's Reply:
Thank you butters. Isn't it strange that no matter how many times one reads through a write, you can still miss an error - I hadn't realised the repeat 'fall.' A difficult one to change, but have replaced the last line to 'crawl.' Don't really like it, any suggestions ?
Val x
πŸ™‚

butters on 17-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
I'm dreadful for doing that with my own writes, Val πŸ™

I'm not minding 'crawl', but wonder if swapping 'seen' for 'watched' might lend itself to the image of observing our offspring differ, some making leaps and taking tumbles where others go the slow and steady route, sometimes missing opportunities we'd wish for them - and the attendant emotional pain it can bring.

seen those who run and those who crawl

watched those who'd run whilst others crawl

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your suggestion butters, but if I changed to 'watched' then I would be repeating again, as I used 'watched' in the first stanza, and this I was aiming to avoid.

Have rewritten this difficult line butters:

Seen those bowed low 'neath those stood tall

What do you think ?


ValDohren on 17-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Thank you for the nom, whoever it was - very much appreciated.

Val πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

Savvi on 17-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Very smooth flow it felt like a magic carpet ride looking at at the images you allow us to see, brilliant.

Could you use "stall"

Author's Reply:
Thank you Savvi for reading and commenting, and for your suggestion. Yes, I think stall is better than crawl and would have used it, but decided to rewrite the line in question:

Seen those bowed low 'neath those stood tall

What do you think?

Thanks also for the great rating.

Val πŸ™‚


Andrea on 18-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
The last stanza reminded me of something Jim Morrison said 'I've seen the future, and I won't go'. Great pome, Val!

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Val x. πŸ™‚

Ionicus on 18-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Very good, flowing poem.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Luigi, and for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚

franciman on 19-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Hi Val,
I have to admit to skipping over this on my visits to the subs. So many of our colleagues can't be wrong though, and I took time to read it properly. It is a beautiful poem with a timely message for us all. We'll never agree on metaphysics, I fear, but I have to admire your optimism.
Well done on the nomination.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your comments and rating Jim, much appreciated. As for optimism, I'm probably one of the most pessimistic people ever, but one can dream!
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

ValDohren on 19-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Many thanks for the nib - better than Greg's rib !!

Author's Reply:

amman on 20-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
Great title/1st line Val. The poem has a nostalgic, almost classical feel to it. 'Joy and splendour', 'halcyon' and the like give it an old fashioned romanticism and flow. Like this a lot. Worthy of previous fulsome praise.
Regards and happy Christmas.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Amman, and for the rating.
Very best wishes to you.
Val x

Texasgreg on 29-12-2012
Through All My Five & Time-Spun Years
I saw that! Doing some catch-up and glad of it. Aye, sorry about the lackluster ribs...try to do better next time. πŸ˜‰

Greg πŸ™‚

Photobucket.

Author's Reply:
Your ribs are just fine Greg, its just that I prefer nibs - they're in short supply.
Val πŸ™‚


Night Birds (posted on: 14-12-12)
Upon the glow of evening mist .....

Upon the glow of evening mist Beneath the darkened sky, Whilst gazing at the moonlight pale I heard the night birds cry (Beware, beware, all creatures small O see, O see, the night birds fall) The sweetest breaths of night's descent Upon my senses lie, As deep within my trembling heart I saw the night birds fly (Wide-eyed in the darkness searching From the branches swiftly lurching) In the gloom, full fledged, they watch With stealth, and oh so sly, I sensed them shrouded in the trees - The night birds drawing nigh (Look out, look out, my little friends Lest now, O now, your journey ends)
Archived comments for Night Birds
Bozzz on 15-12-2012
Night Birds
Great stuff Val. Well done - What about a stanza on kerb
crawlers?... David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David, and for the rating. I hadn't thought of it that way, but I suppose it could be the description of a kerb crawler rather than owls or nighthawks.
Val x

franciman on 15-12-2012
Night Birds
Val, I can hear the leaves rustling neath my feet. I really enjoyed this.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jim, pleased you liked this one.
Val πŸ™‚

amman on 15-12-2012
Night Birds
Very musical and hymnic Val. You give us vivid picture of the predatory owls/nighthawks.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Amman, and for rating.
Val πŸ™‚

butters on 16-12-2012
Night Birds
well-composed as usual, Val, not rhyme or foot out of place - still think italics would serve this better visually than parentheses, but we can agree to differ πŸ˜€

the thoughts that intersperse the main voice have an almost nightmare/prescient edge to them that gives me a shiver. Sly wasn't a word I expected to see describing owls as its not one I'd associate with them but can't shake the overtones of something rather more evilly-inclined and paranormal.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting butters, and for your observations. Hadn't thought about italics rather than parentheses, will consider your point, but I like to use parentheses in my writings as I think they serve to mark out what I think of as an 'aside.' I much appreciate your thoughts however.
Val πŸ™‚

purplespirit on 24-01-2013
Night Birds
Very beautiful with the mystical feeling of the nocturnal life. Since I am "a night owl" myself, I was really moved by this lovely read, thank you. Purple xx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comments Purple, very much appreciated.
Val πŸ™‚


Little Hearts (posted on: 14-12-12)
Little hearts soft cast in gold .....

Little hearts soft cast in gold With eyes of azure blue - Smiles so lovely to behold With tears as morning dew Dainty hands like buds unfurled Reach out to touch your lips - Shell-styled ears yet gently whorled And tiny finger tips Soft and tender in your arms And warm as summertime - Set with sweet and endless charms Endearing and sublime They gurgle, chuckle, pout and cry Throughout each passing day - Joyful in their cots they lie To ease the time away They, the future of this earth, Bring hope for everyone - Celebrate each baby's birth Each daughter and each son Little hearts yet meek and mild So innocent and pure - O to live life as a child Who then could ask for more
Archived comments for Little Hearts
Savvi on 14-12-2012
Little Hearts
lovely smooth lines and end rhymes, you wrap us in a warm baby smelling blanky, one suggestion could be to switch to first person thus more personal, hope that makes sense. Thank you for the read.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Savvi, pleased you like. Thanks also for the suggestion, but the poem is not meant to be personal.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 15-12-2012
Little Hearts
Perfect meter, good rhyme and flow. Hope the child turns out as good as that. Cuddly poem.

Author's Reply:
Thanks David for reading, commenting and rating.
Val x

Andrea on 15-12-2012
Little Hearts
Very timely - I've just become an auntie again!

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea, and congratulations !
Val x

barenib on 16-12-2012
Little Hearts
Val, this is very sweet and well written - John

Author's Reply:
Thank you John for reading and commenting. Much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

butters on 16-12-2012
Little Hearts
well written, Val - and almost a shock when held up against the grief of the Conneticut parents right now... we invest so much in children :rose:

Author's Reply:
Thank you butters, and yes, our children are the future, and it is impossible to understand how events such as these ever happen. Truly dreadful.
Val


The Yew Tree (posted on: 10-12-12)
The Yew Tree is noted for its longevity, and it is often to be found in graveyards. It is poisonous and therefore is associated with death (O touch me and you yet shall die). Symbolically, it signifies transformation and rebirth, and also is said to aid communication with the Otherworld.

The wind has sighed upon my leaves Through many ages passed A sheltered place for he who grieves Beneath my branches vast I reach above towards the sky `Midst ancient slabs to dwell O touch me and you yet shall die Beware the tolling bell Behold my splendid aspect fixed Against the falling sun As there I stand, alone, betwixt All heaven and everyone (Magnificent her posture be Her shadow softly falls Upon all those now ever free Laid down behind stone walls) Enfolded deep within my boughs I'll bear your wearied soul To carry you, not e'er to rouse, Then meetly deem you whole To thus transform and so renew All set beyond this earth Deliver each as pure and true Grant everlasting birth
Archived comments for The Yew Tree
roger303 on 10-12-2012
The Yew Tree
A beautiful poem.
Her shadow softly falls
Upon all those now ever free .... lovely lines.
If this doesn't get a 'Great Read' bestowed upon it then something's wrong!
Thanks for sharing it.
Regards,
Roger

Author's Reply:
Thanks Roger, lovely compliment, but no nib bestowed - guess I'm not a member of the nib club !
Pleased you liked it though, and thanks for the great rating too.
Best wishes.
Val

butters on 11-12-2012
The Yew Tree
this has a very soothing quality to it, sedately read, no rush, no bustle - calming!

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting butters.
Best wishes.
Val

cooky on 12-12-2012
The Yew Tree
We forget that trees can be here for many generations. To think they have listened to the past is a most intriguing prospect for any writer. I like this

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Cooky for reading, commenting and rating.
Pleased you like.
Val x

Mikeverdi on 13-12-2012
The Yew Tree
Yet another beautifully worded poem from you, I love your writing. Mike

Author's Reply:
Many thanks again Mike - you are very kind.
Val x


I Am ..... (posted on: 10-12-12)
I am the wind that blows in your hair .....

I am the wind that blows in your hair I am the joy in the smile that you wear I am the grass that cushions your feet I am the rose with her perfume so sweet I am the rainbow spanning the skies I am the teardrops that fall from your eyes I am your candle with flickering flame I am the language that speaks out your name I am the birdsong high in the trees I am the snowflakes that float in the breeze I am the ripples you see in the streams I am the essence of each of your dreams I am the sound of rustling leaves I am the thread that each silkworm weaves I am the fire that burns in your soul I am the shadow o'er mountains to roll I am the blood that runs through your veins I am the bright moon that waxes and wanes I am the sun that shines in the sky I am the breath exhaled in your sigh I am the land and I am the sea I am all that you want me to be I am your soul ………. I am not me
Archived comments for I Am .....
butters on 10-12-2012
I Am .....
this has a sense of completeness about it that's very satisfying to me as a reader. some nice turns of phrase, elegantly paced, and for those who say 'you should leave the I's out of a poem' this disproves that point with no room for argument πŸ˜€ it's also pretty hard to keep this sort of poem above the waterline, but you not only manage to do that but have it sailing quite prettily on a kind breeze.

ok, maybe it didn't blow me away, but then not every poem needs to do that to a reader for it to be enjoyed.

and i did enjoy this one πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks butters.
Val

Texasgreg on 11-12-2012
I Am .....
Aye! You must be...hope you got that.

Greg πŸ˜‰

Author's Reply:
Yes, got it, well sort of !
Thanks Greg.
Val

amman on 11-12-2012
I Am .....
I really like this one Val. Some exquisite analogies; too many to list. Bravo.
Cheers.


Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Amman, pleased you like - always heartening when someone says that.
Thanks also for the great rating.
Val πŸ™‚

Mikeverdi on 12-12-2012
I Am .....
I also was not 'blown away' unlike I have been with some of yours, even so its still a great piece. I am still not sure about all the I's. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike - too many ay's and not enough no's πŸ™‚
Best wishes.
Val


Anima (posted on: 07-12-12)
Anima archetype (Carl Jung) - female part of the male psyche .....

Swift as lightning Within confined She weaves her spell Into your mind Sweetly whisp'ring The siren's muse Hear her, see her You can't refuse Her soft caress You've always known Seek her, take her To be your own She won't leave you She's always there Try to shun her If you would dare Tearing into Your very soul You must love her Until you're whole
Archived comments for Anima
amman on 07-12-2012
Anima
Succinct presentation of Jung's psychological theory of man's inner feminine conciousness. I like the almost staccato rhythm of this, Val.
Cheers

Author's Reply:
Thank you Amman for reading, commenting and rating.
Much valued.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 07-12-2012
Anima
Wow, Val!

It seems you know the male mind, but we have no idea how to unlock the secretes of the fair sex...

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Greg - thought I had acknowledged this one, so sorry for late response.
Much appreciated as always.
Val πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 09-12-2012
Anima
Loved studying the Jung philosophy when studying dream interpretation years ago now. Would have loved to have met the man.

Anyway, feel this poem was more towards the siren than the anima in the way of seduction...
Enjoyed the short succinct lines and the perfect rhythm as always
Alison x


Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Alison. I was trying to liken the anima to a siren, therefore the anima and the siren are meant to be one and the same thing. Pleased you enjoyed.

Val x


The Passing Hours (posted on: 07-12-12)
................. πŸ™‚

Softly in the glow of moonlight 'Neath the canopy of stars There to ponder in the silence - Still, within the passing hours Wistful thoughts of precious childhood Drift through valleys of my mind Times when all the world was boundless – Oh so free and unconfined How I danced through fields of yellow Skipped along the leafy ways Breathing in the joys of springtime Blissful in those tender days Thus unfraught by life's deceptions Youth and innocence my guide Seeming then that all was splendid - In a pure world to abide Promises of dreams unfolding (All illusions yet concealed) Looking to such bright tomorrows As believed to be revealed But now wise, and in the evening – At the sunset of my life There I see the truth before me All the lies, the pain, the strife Yet I will not fall in sorrow For all yearning now shall cease Eyes now fixed upon the closing Ever then to be at peace
Archived comments for The Passing Hours
Texasgreg on 07-12-2012
The Passing Hours
Aye! A wonderful piece indeed...Cannot nib ya, but can rib ya.

Photobucket

Greg πŸ™‚

Note: Hospice workers will tell you that on one's deathbed, folks aren't consumed by regrets of what they've done so much as what they haven't.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Greg, pleased you like. Not quite ready for the deathbed yet though. πŸ™‚
Val

Mikeverdi on 07-12-2012
The Passing Hours
Simply beautiful Val, you always hit the spot for me. Mike

Author's Reply:
Oh you are so kind Mike, thank you for commenting and rating πŸ™‚
Val x

Andrea on 07-12-2012
The Passing Hours
Agree with Greg - I'll probably be wishing I'd done a lot more! Lovely, wistful pome, Val.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Andrea, very grateful for your comments and rating.
Val x

cooky on 07-12-2012
The Passing Hours
lovley reflective writing. i like this

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Cooky, and for the great rating.
Glad you like.
Val x

Bozzz on 07-12-2012
The Passing Hours
Having regrets always takes longer that achieving peace. Val, you have beautiful short cuts not available to me. Lovely poem....David

Author's Reply:
Thanks David - not sure about the short cuts though πŸ™‚
So pleased you like.
Val x

stormwolf on 07-12-2012
The Passing Hours
A real treat to read, the impeccable timing which just swept me along. The poem was very poignant indeed and I can relate.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Alison, and for the super rating. Pleased you like.
Val x

peg on 07-12-2012
The Passing Hours
Oh how this poem flows, and the content, deliciously wistful for childhood times. Sunset approaches...but let's not go there ! Lovely Val, I enjoyed...Maggie

Author's Reply:
When we are young we think only of the future, but as we grow old we dwell so much more upon the past - not ready yet for the final call, but the sun is definitely setting !! So pleased you enjoyed reading Maggie, and thank you again for commenting and the high rating, much appreciated as always.
Val x

Slovitt on 09-12-2012
The Passing Hours
val: a gentle, melodic poem. swep

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Slovitt on 09-12-2012
The Passing Hours
val: a gentle, melodic poem. swep

Author's Reply:
Thank you Slovitt.
Regards.
Val


Out There (posted on: 03-12-12)
Out there, deep in cyberspace .....

Out there, deep in cyberspace, Breathing out in bits and bytes Through the ether there we go You and me as flashing lights No more letters in the post Licked and sealed with love then kissed - All that be is as a wraith Drifting through the dim dark mist Switch it on and let it load - Up or down, as it may be, See the pictures on the screen - Virtual reality ! Reality ? O what and where Does this concept now reside - Is it set in distant realms - In us still, or there outside ? Do you have a question dear ? Here all knowledge now is set - Do not reach into your soul Find it on the internet
Archived comments for Out There
peg on 03-12-2012
Out There
No more letters in the post...yes I miss them too ! A good poem on the effects of the internet. But there are advantages too. Like poetry sites ..lol...Maggie πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Maggie. I wouldn't be without the Internet now, its wonderful, but there is the danger that we will lose sight of those 'lovely letters in the post' and become too e-orientated. The poem is just a bit of fun, but indicative of the times in which we live. Appreciate your comments. πŸ™‚
Val x

butters on 04-12-2012
Out There
definitely a poem of its day, marking a wistful longing of those things that we once held dear.

flamin' post office charges so much now for stamps letter-posting is almost a thing of the past, let alone christmas cards!

liked this. πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
I think they call it 'rip-off Britain' butters, serve them right if people stopped buying stamps - shame though, no more love letters, not that I ever got them anyway !! Not even of the email variety.
Thanks for commenting and rating - your support is very much valued.
Val x. πŸ™‚

amman on 05-12-2012
Out There
Quite sad really (no more swalks) but that's progress. I like your more contemporary stuff.
Cheers.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Amman, appreciate your comments and rating.
Best wishes.
Val


'I' (posted on: 03-12-12)
Mystical poetry - birth and death of the ego, leading to birth of the higher self.

Her breast was warm, and tender was her face Secure was I within her long embrace Protected from the pain of human care It seemed that I was ever part of her But then I stirred awakened by the dawn The time had come at last and I was born - The sun shone brighter than I'd seen before I looked around and she was there no more Then from hell's kingdom sprang a raging fire To fill my heart with longing and desire - Within my mind I knew that I was I A thousand times to live, a thousand times to die Oh, who was he who tore me from her breast And left me here to weep, with grief possessed To wander through earth's shadows, I alone Yet seeking him through whom I must atone Her tears, as rain, spilled down upon the earth To soothe away the pain of mortal birth - Beneath the waters glowed the sun's pure light Through softly fading shadows of the night Where earth meets heaven dwells the sacred dove And there I seek to find his perfect love - The sun will shine thus brighter than before In death's abode, when I am I no more
Archived comments for 'I'
Mikeverdi on 03-12-2012
I
I think this is one of your best Val and I love it. Could there be a typo in the first line? the word was maybe should be as? or is it just me and my addled brain πŸ™‚ xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating Mike. I guess that first line depends upon how one reads it - I think Maggie's suggestion is correct and will amend it accordingly. So pleased you liked it - this is another old one, written many years ago.
Val xx

peg on 03-12-2012
I
Her breast was warm, and tender was her face.

I think that is what Mike thought was a typo. A comma makes the difference. I agree with him Val, an excellent poem. The stanza's in brackets add so much to the poem. Bravo...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thank you Maggie, and for the top rating. I take your point regarding the first line, and agree that a comma there is a good idea - will do. Pleased you enjoyed the read.
Val xx

franciman on 04-12-2012
I
I'm sorry Val, especially if you are deeply religious, but this poem is less mystical than it is illogical. I could not find the message in this. The phonetics in this make it quite lyrical and give it the musical quality of a christian psalm, but the archaic form doesn't serve to make the argument you claim at the top. Self is ego, so higher self is still ego and no birth or death can have taken place, surely? As a fellow poet, I feel there's no place in poetry for a whole stanza in parentheses. If it is out of context it should not be there.
I'm sorry if this all sounds harsh. I have a tendency not to comment on pieces that don't engage me. However, when a member asks for comment and critique, I should have the moral obligation to do so.
I have enjoyed your work in the past, so feel obliged to comment.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading Jim, and I am sorry you were not happy with this write. I am not deeply religious so you have not offended me, neither am I offended by your critique. I am pleased you have enjoyed reading my previous scribbles and hope you will continue to do so.
Val

butters on 04-12-2012
I
the soothing tone of this, its musicality, lulls me into an acceptance of the poem's voice/belief structure, even if they don't sit with my own. so that's quite a neat trick of word-choice right there.

agree the parenthesis appear out of place as it would seem to work just fine without them.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting butters, much appreciated as always.
I am not quite sure why the parenthesis seem to appear inappropriate, but as they clearly do, then I have taken this on board and removed them. πŸ™‚
Val

cooky on 05-12-2012
I
Well I liked it. A compelling write which kept me interested to the end.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Cooky - there's hope for me yet then ! I don't think Jim quite understood this write, probably because my brief explanation of the poem was insufficient. It can be interpreted on different levels. Many thanks for reading, commenting, and for the great rating. I very much value your support.
Val x. πŸ™‚


The Tricky Lady (posted on: 30-11-12)
The Aurora Borealis .....

She dances like a shimm'ring wraith Against the sequined sky Adorned with skirts of misty green Flickering there up high As swirling luminescent clouds Across the darkened night She floats above the icy land To captivate our sight Then drifting through the frosted air This twisting beauteous dame Fast disappears into the void As quickly as she came In awe-filled silence then we wait To see her face return But fickle as the lady be All we can do is yearn
Archived comments for The Tricky Lady
Bozzz on 01-12-2012
The Tricky Lady
This lady is indeed fickle - gives promise of new birth, but all we get is the same old daylight later. Loved your portrayal nevertheless.... Bozzz.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Bozzz, and for rating.
Val

butters on 02-12-2012
The Tricky Lady
hi Val - keeping that 'e' in the first line really wouldn't lose anything from this as it still works a nice 4 beats plus aligns itself musically with 'flickering'.

that aside, you caught the elusive and ephemeral nature well πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Many thanks again butters - will consider your crit.
Val πŸ™‚


Volcano (posted on: 30-11-12)
Seething cauldron .....

Seething cauldron an inferno belching noxious vapours spewing red hot molten lava spilling down mountainside to drown the land in sulphurated destruction - rocks hurtling though the air, falling everywhere - - turning into words pouring from lips - burning – destroying
Archived comments for Volcano
stormwolf on 30-11-2012
Volcano
A real change of style for you here Val. I like it.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison.
Val x

Mikeverdi on 30-11-2012
Volcano
WoW! what did you have for breakfast πŸ™‚ So different and yet still great writing Val . Mike x

Author's Reply:
Lava Bread Mike - thanks for comment πŸ™‚
and rating.
Val

peg on 30-11-2012
Volcano
The destruction words can cause ! A great poem here Val...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks Maggie - words can indeed hurt, pleased you picked up on the meaning of this one. πŸ™‚
Val x

butters on 01-12-2012
Volcano
the devastation words can wreak is often worn internally; when their destructive force is visible, it can act as precursor to conflict and lives torn apart.

nice to see this side to your writing!

Author's Reply:
Thank you butters, appreciated as always.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 02-12-2012
Volcano
Giving life anew
in future time
with promise of fertility
to those of a different mind...

Aye! I'd not like to be in that little temper tantrum of nature...

Greg πŸ™‚

Photobucket.

Author's Reply:
No indeed, me neither Greg - we don't have volcanos here in the UK !! But there is no shortage of those who spill out volcanic words, as everywhere. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Val πŸ™‚


I Saw You As I've Never Seen Before (posted on: 26-11-12)
I saw you as I`ve never seen before .....

I saw you as I've never seen before The moon upon your lovely face did play Your eyes as starlight fixed on heaven's door So sparkled at the closing of the day Then softly in the golden fires of dawn Your smile shone brighter than my eyes have seen To greet me as an angel in the morn' - O sweeter than it yet had ever been Your voice was like a songbird set in flight Enchanting all my mind and sorrowed heart Which soars above the land in gay delight - Sweet music of the world to thus impart And greatly was your countenance defined Against the azure skies it was then set It lingered as a vision in my mind - O I am yet so glad that we have met Entranced with all your beauty is my soul I ne'er will ever feel such joy again - My weary heart forever to console And tender love eternal to sustain
Archived comments for I Saw You As I've Never Seen Before
peg on 26-11-2012
I Saw You As Ive Never Seen Before
A beauty of a love poem, sonnet like and dreamy. Really like this..Maggie

Author's Reply:
So pleased you liked Maggie, and thanks again for commenting and giving a great rating.
Regards.
Val

cooky on 27-11-2012
I Saw You As Ive Never Seen Before
top love poem. I like this

Author's Reply:
Many thanks again Cooky, and also for another good rating. So much obliged.
Val x


Youth Long Lost (posted on: 26-11-12)
O fill the desert in my heart .....

O fill the desert in my heart With words of tenderness – Sweet words of comfort to impart My soul to soft caress As time weighs heavy on my mind The fleeting years sustain - Fond memories of youth long lost And true love still remain For as I walk the rugged paths Of life`s deceiving way Yet searching for a sweeter land Where so to dance and play I seek release from life's travails (O fortune, be my lead) To take me thus to brighter plains For I am sore indeed Now gazing in the mirror where The phantoms of my youth So flicker as reflections there In visions of the truth As time has passed and blown away My dreams and hopefulness - I now, as in my ageing years, (The balance to redress) Fall …… into nothingness
Archived comments for Youth Long Lost
peg on 26-11-2012
Youth Long Lost
This is so beautiful Val...a poem that touches the heart. With maturity comes a wisdom and still time for hopefulness...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Maggie, also for the high rating.
Your comments are always valued.
Best wishes.
Val

stormwolf on 27-11-2012
Youth Long Lost
another olde worlde poem from you Val.
I sometimes read poems that seem to belong to a different time. it's as though the poet is channeling a different time, maybe one they lived in. This is such a poem.

Alison x


Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Alison, and for the generous rating. This style of writing is natural to me - I have always preferred reading the more classical style myself, although I know it is not to everyone"s taste. But we are all different, with varying viewpoints, and they do say that variety is the spice of life !! :-), and maybe I did live in a different time long ago - I swear I am the reincarnation of Anne Boleyn as I suffer from dreadful neck pain a good deal of the time, hahaha (joke, of course).
Val x

butters on 27-11-2012
Youth Long Lost
nicely crafted, Val, with care and a good ear for rhythm and rhyme.

it does have that more old-fashioned feel about it, but there are many who love that in a poem - especially when it's well-made - a bit like looking at a wistful picture of roses around a cottage door - plenty will buy into that though it may not suit every taste. None of us can aim to do that, though πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks butters. Not really into roses round a cottage door, but I do like the classical/romantic style of poetry.
Thanks for the rating also.
Val x

butters on 27-11-2012
Youth Long Lost
double post again! oh oh - gremlins in the works, methinks!

Author's Reply:
My works are always full of gremlins !!!

cooky on 27-11-2012
Youth Long Lost
The phantoms of my youth is a terrific line. I like this

Author's Reply:
Thanks Cooky, glad you like. Great rating too - Ta very much.
Val x


Beauty (posted on: 23-11-12)
I saw the face of beauty fixed upon the rising sun.....

I saw the face of beauty fixed Upon the rising sun Beyond all mortal compliment Her loveliness there shone Within the constellations set Against the heav'nly realm She glittered 'cross the universe My heart to overwhelm The Seven Sisters ne'er could light All heaven like her smile Nor Aphrodite's sweetest face The spirit to beguile Then here beneath the starry dome She rests upon the land Encaptured by the glist'ning streams And meadows, broadly spanned For lying thus in fields of green With flowers in her hair The benediction of her charms Is full beyond compare She dances like a pearly wraith Upon the crested waves So comely bound in all that which Imagination craves Her voice is likened to the song The Mousai sing at dawn And sunlight does her aspect grace In fields of golden corn May beauty steal my eyes away From all in darkness veiled And grant to me her precious gift 'Gainst which all else is paled O beauty shall you hearken thus My joy forever be For beauty dwells within the soul As beauty is to me
Archived comments for Beauty
Mikeverdi on 23-11-2012
Beauty
Another beautiful poem Val, you have made this style your own and I love it. xxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Mike.
So pleased you like.
Best wishes.
Val

cooky on 23-11-2012
Beauty
cracking poem. I like this

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Cooky for reading and commenting, and for the super rating. Much appreciated, and I am so pleased you like.
Best wishes.
Val


Ever Shall ..... (posted on: 23-11-12)
Ever shall my heart adore thee ....

Ever shall my heart adore thee 'Cross the boundaries of time Always will my love endureth 'Bove the mountains yet to climb Ever shall my light surround thee Through all days of sad lament Bathing yet your soul in gladness Bringing solace and content Ever shall my arms enfold thee As the waves embrace the shore Crashing 'pon the rocks eternal Loving you forever more Ever shall I be your keeper Over you to watch always As your guardian angel 'biding Throughout all your lifelong days If I should depart before thee Do not think that I am gone I shall set my eyes upon you Through the moon and through the sun
Archived comments for Ever Shall .....
Harpie on 23-11-2012
Ever Shall .....
Gorgeous last line, really lovely poem. Oh, to be in love.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Harpie, pleased you like.
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 23-11-2012
Ever Shall .....
Beautifully written as always Val. xx

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Mike.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 23-11-2012
Ever Shall .....
That sort of adoration can only mean that both are doing something right. Sure wish you could hand out a recipe as it would eliminate so much pain.

Good job!

Greg πŸ™‚

Photobucket.

Author's Reply:
Don't have such a recipe Greg I'm afraid. Just an old romantic, with the emphasis on old !
Many thanks for reading and commenting.
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 23-11-2012
Ever Shall .....
So beautiful. Flows dreamily and so meaningful, love it ...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reding and commenting Maggie, also for the rating.
Pleased you like.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 23-11-2012
Ever Shall .....
Lovely!

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for reading and commenting Andrea.
Best wishes.
Val


O Bring To Me A Red Red R0se (posted on: 19-11-12)
Flower symbolism: Red Rose Love, Passion Blue Violet Faithfulness Pink Carnations Never forget you Orchid Refined beauty Delphinium Ability to transcend space and time Amaranth (globe) Immortal love Lotus See Zen Buddhism Lily – white Peace, death

O bring to me a red red Rose A symbol of your love And bring to me a rainbow soft Plucked from the sky above For I will give you all I deem To grant you joy and peace A heart forever filled with care That ne'er will ever cease Then bring, O bring a Violet blue That faithful I shall be Always by your side to walk Together, you and me Carnations pink I then shall seek That in my thoughts you'll stay In mem'ry you shall there remain Not e'er to fade away O bring, O bring an Orchid sweet That beauty shall incline Forever in my heart to dwell Through all the years to shine A sweet Delphinium I'll wear My aspect then to grace That I may ever be with you Transcending time and space An Amaranth shall so endow My soul, to rise above All worldly passions set below To bear immortal love Then fetch me thus a Lotus flower That I may see the dawn Upon its leaf a dewdrop set My soul to be reborn O bring to me a Lily, white, To lay upon my breast To place it gently 'cross my heart When I am laid to rest
Archived comments for O Bring To Me A Red Red R0se
orangedream on 19-11-2012
O Bring To Me A Red Red R0se
Very beautiful, Val, and you mention some of my very favourite flowers, especially Amaranth. Much enjoyed;-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Tina. Glad you enjoyed.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 20-11-2012
O Bring To Me A Red Red R0se
Lovely, Val. I love Delphiniums, but the slugs love 'em too, so I have to make do with Monkshood, which look pretty similar but are deadly poisonous πŸ™‚

Aconitum

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and rating Andrea, also for the attachment.
Sorry about the slugs !!
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 20-11-2012
O Bring To Me A Red Red R0se
Lovely poetry Val. Flowers lift the mood. In real life, and in poetry !...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Maggie. Yes, flowers are beautiful and great mood enhancers.
Best wishes.
Val

butters on 20-11-2012
O Bring To Me A Red Red R0se
a delightful bouquet, presented in tissue and tied with a ribbon



nicely crafted, message simply stated. has a gentle, old-fashioned feel to it, like a victorian valentine's card or summat.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks butters.
Best - Val πŸ™‚


Sweet Angeline In Heav'n Did Weep (posted on: 19-11-12)
A fantasy poem about love not found .....

Sequestered deep in mystic realms 'Midst all the stars in full display Encircled there by misty souls I heard her sad soliloquy Sweet Angeline in heav'n did weep Her tears upon the world were spilled Lamenting as one lost to dreams Of dreams yet dreamed but unfulfilled Those tears, they fell so like the rain, As gentle snowflakes drifting by - With broken heart, as shattered glass, So like a nursling she did cry She spoke of love she barely knew That precious love, elysian kind, That all her heart would so enchant Yet all her life she sought to find She looked in woodlands void of light Beneath the darkened moonlit sky In cloistered caves and valleys deep In dusky glens she wandered by With hope she searched in twilight's gloom In shaded arbours strung with vine She cried as one in sorrow deep (I heard her weep throughout all time) Yet never once to glance above Towards the sun, with brighter glow Nor seek to find her heart's delight In places high, not set below Sweet Angeline in heav'n did weep In sadness ne'er to feel nor find The love that she so yearned to know In dusty hollows of her mind
Archived comments for Sweet Angeline In Heav'n Did Weep
Texasgreg on 19-11-2012
Sweet Angeline In Heavn Did Weep
Aye! To find hope, one must lift their eyes to the heavens.
Tragedy of despair well captured.

Good job, Val...

Greg πŸ™‚

Photobucket.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Greg. Good to see you back on board.
Best - Val

orangedream on 19-11-2012
Sweet Angeline In Heavn Did Weep
Another beautiful poem, Val. I especially liked this stanza:-



"She looked in woodlands void of light

Beneath the darkened moonlit sky

In cloisered caves and valleys deep

In dusky glens she wandered by "



Very much enjoyed.



Tina





Author's Reply:
Thank you Tina for reading and commenting.
Best wishes.
Val

stormwolf on 19-11-2012
Sweet Angeline In Heavn Did Weep
Hi Val
I was about to give my honest opinion but see you only want comments.;-)
I loved it ....with reservations. I cannot then give a rating as that is rendered irrelevant. It is your prerogative, of course but it does sort of stifle feedback.
Alison x


Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison for taking the time to read and comment.
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 20-11-2012
Sweet Angeline In Heavn Did Weep
A divine read Val...emotional and touching, thank you...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thank you Maggie, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val


Transcendence (posted on: 16-11-12)
......... πŸ™‚

Gladly will my heart surrender At the closing of the day When my eyes shall rest in slumber Chasing sorrows fast away Then to 'bide in peace and silence As the world soft fades from sight Drifting into realms celestial At the coming of the night Yet the dark brings sweet redemption With another day to dawn When the light shall shine within me So that I may be reborn Floating high above in splendour Where there is no thought of I Nothing there will be my captor As all fear shall pale and die     In the stillness of my being So to seek the rising sun With all worldliness transcended Melding into all as one
Archived comments for Transcendence
orangedream on 16-11-2012
Transcendence
A kind of a dreamlike quality to this, Val. Much enjoyed;-)

Tina

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading, commenting and rating Tina.
Much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 17-11-2012
Transcendence
Oh so dreamy...love your poetry Val

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Peg, so pleased you like my work. It is very encouraging to know that.
Best wishes.
Val


Nocturne (posted on: 16-11-12)
A night-time reverie .....

Captured in the fall of evening Stilled my soul in sweet recline – Spanning dark unclouded heavens There the moon and stars align Haunted by the night's sweet music With a song of sad lament Soothing then my heart in solace Filling me with pure content Then to 'bide in glow of fireside Watching dancing shadows there Nothing but the moment lingers – Joyful just to sit and stare O, the dark shall be my haven So to rest with easeful mind Fixing yet my eyes upon you As in splendour so entwined Night of nights I bow before thee Come, O come and take my soul Into realms where I may wander There your beauty to extol Quiet now, with calm acceptance Sorrows borne now fly away Gently sinking into slumber Yet to know another day Into somnolence then drifting In your grasp my spirit keep Dreams shall take my thoughts in whispers Peaceful now – I'm falling deep
Archived comments for Nocturne
roger303 on 16-11-2012
Nocturne
I love this Val.
It brings my favourite poet to mind - E.A.P.
Regards
Roger

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Roger. Glad you like.
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 17-11-2012
Nocturne
Sounds like a blissful night. Perfect rhythm and rhyme and flows like a dream. An afterthought...almost a lullaby...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting Maggie, and also for rating.
Pleased you like.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 17-11-2012
Nocturne
Dear Val, I do wish it was as easy as you seem to find it. O' untroubled soul. Assuredly a lovely poem. You have helped me to decide which poem I will post on Monday - "An Engineer's nightmare". But you can read it with impunity because you were not a duty aircraft mechanic in WW2 - at least I hope not. I was not either but it still hurts me ... Bozzz

Author's Reply:
Thank you Bozzz, and I shall eagerly look forward to your submission on Monday - and no, I was not a duty aircraft mechanic in WW2; I may be old, but not that old !!! I'm not sure what it is that you seem to think I find easy, and I certainly don't have an untroubled soul - I wish. Imagination is a wonderful thing. Just jesting you know πŸ™‚

Val

Mikeverdi on 20-11-2012
Nocturne
As always, I love it Mike xx

Author's Reply:


On Poetry ..... (posted on: 12-11-12)
Do you often find poetry difficult to understand .....

Such princely and linguistic feats As penned by Shelley, Byron, Keats Though rich and eloquently grand Are oft' too deep to understand Their thoughts, expressed through poetry In prose, or perfect symmetry Bewilder yet this humble mind Their meaning, hidden, still to find So if ungilded words convey Each message that they would portray, Then simple verses should reveal The inspiration that I feel And thus may every scholar read Between each line, their hearts to feed Unfolding there in simple style This heart's endeavour to beguile
Archived comments for On Poetry .....
roger303 on 12-11-2012
On Poetry .....
A lovely poem which says it all.
We all want to beguile.
No humble mind here, well done.
Roger

Author's Reply:
Thanks Roger - I do struggle to understand some poetry, but this doesn't detract from the beauty of it in most cases.
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 12-11-2012
On Poetry .....
Well said ! Sometimes, some poems are too deep for this mind to comprehend πŸ™‚ .Liked this Val...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks Maggie - I have on occasions seen comments from authors who claim not to understand their own work, so what chance do we stand !!
Best - Val

Mikeverdi on 12-11-2012
On Poetry .....
I am reminded why you are in my favorite box! Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Mike - and remain delighted that I am in your favourites, as you are in mine. You are much talented.
Best wishes.
Val

Ionicus on 14-11-2012
On Poetry .....
A true and honest observation. At times it is as if we are ashamed to admit that the meaning has eluded us for fear to be regarded as illiterate. A poem can be read on many levels and even the simple ones can be interpreted differently regardless of what the author intended. The suspicion that some work is deliberately abstruse cannot, in my opinion, be dismissed.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for your comments, much appreciated.
Regards.Val

Andrea on 14-11-2012
On Poetry .....
Too true! I struggle to understand most poetry - and I never mind saying so, either πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea, me too !!
Best wishes.
Val


Stillborn (posted on: 12-11-12)
This poem is not autobiographical ...

Oh rest your head my little one Upon a silken cloud And let the angels cradle you Wrapped in a golden shroud In love, I bore your tiny form So pure, so calm, so still And gazed upon your precious face My dreams ne'er to fulfill I ached to see the breath of life To hear the sweetest cry Rise up within your silent breast But so still you did lie Then held you tightly in my arms Pressed close against my heart And wept an avalanche of tears To know that we must part And as the years pass by, my child Your mem'ry will remain No-one will ever understand This everlasting pain. You'll always be a part of me A gift from heaven above And 'though I'll never hold your hand You'll always have my love So rest your head, my little one Upon a silken cloud Within my dreams I'll cradle you My love for you avowed
Archived comments for Stillborn
stormwolf on 12-11-2012
Stillborn
Very beautiful and very moving. I am glad you explained it was not autobiographical for it was written with such emotion one would have thought it was.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison for reading and rating.
Best wishes.
Val x

jamalbbd on 12-11-2012
Stillborn
Yes, this beautiful piece has a special impact. heartfelt writing. thanks for sharing.

Author's Reply:
Thank you jamalbbd, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 12-11-2012
Stillborn
You describe perfectly how it must feel Val, thank goodness I have never been through it.A sensitive poem indeed...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thank you Maggie for commenting and rating.
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 12-11-2012
Stillborn
I find it difficult to say I like reading something as painful as this. I was at the funeral of a friends still born grandchild about a year ago, it was awful. You have given this the delicacy it demands, so yes I like it

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike - so sorry to learn of your friends' loss, very sad indeed.
Best. wishes.
Val


Dreamscape (posted on: 09-11-12)
A poem about dreaming.

Soft shadows drift in night`s embrace To linger, falling on your face, With nought to dread nor yet to care No sorrow borne nor yet despair (The moon above, suspended there) With mind encaptured in a dream Where all is not what it may seem As gliding images unwind So dancing in the sleeping mind Such visions of a vapoured kind To float and spin o`er lustred lands And fall as sand through open hands No substance poised to hold on tight Shimmering fancies then take flight As drifting ether through the night Then swirling mists enwrap your eyes (With whispered voices, distant sighs) And spectral lights flash into view Red turned orange, yellow turned blue Surrounding all, surrounding you Awake! awake! all those who sleep Awaken from your slumber deep Rise up to quit the sleeper`s womb With open eyes, the day resume As dawning breaks the night-time gloom
Archived comments for Dreamscape
Andrea on 10-11-2012
Dreamscape
Lovely!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, much appreciated.
Val

butters on 11-11-2012
Dreamscape
perfect adherence to rhyme-scheme, lovely imagery, dream-like quality pervading throughout due to word-choice. nicely crafted.

one tiny issue, not a crit but just an ask: your apostrophes seem to be making extra space than usual - keyboard probs?

Author's Reply:
Many thanks butters for commenting and rating. I tend to use the apostrophe which is slightly angled, out of habit, will try to remember to use the normal one in future- didn't realise it gave the appearance of extra space. Thanks for pointing out.
Val

peg on 11-11-2012
Dreamscape
Ah, if only all dreams were made of this...lovely flow throughout...maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks a lot Maggie - sweet dreams !
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 12-11-2012
Dreamscape
You always weave a magical world, I think you use a wand not a pen! Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike - I could certainly do with a magic wand sometimes !!
Regards.
Val


A Walk Through Paradise (posted on: 09-11-12)
A fantasy poem .....

I close my eyes to find a place In diff`rent time and diff`rent space And in imagination find A cloistered arbour for my mind Where thought may there be unconfined Then in my dreams a path I take As in a trance, yet wide awake, To see the world with open eyes Its glist`ning sands and azure skies - I take a walk through Paradise Suspended there reflecting deep Where time is lost, immersed in sleep, A sleep of ages long since passed As on the sea of change were cast All things which then were reckoned fast Above all earthly cares to soar Beyond the hurts I there endure To see a sweet and perfect land Where sunbeams dance upon my hand - Where peace and love I understand And there before my eyes I see Such beauty that could never be Revealed in places fixed below As set before me all aglow Such wonders ever outward flow So on I walk beyond the veil Where joys untold yet e`er prevail And through the mist of blindness see Whatever be revealed to me - In Paradise forever be
Archived comments for A Walk Through Paradise
Bozzz on 09-11-2012
A Walk Through Paradise
A statement of belief that shines. For me, I see only the dust of my phosphates in a jar and then sprinkled on the shore, to feed the fish - a thank you for their generous greed over my worms.
But I'd rather see your beautiful land. ..David

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating David - it is just fantasy of course. I don't believe that Paradise exists, other than that which may be created in the mind, for those who can.

Val

roger303 on 09-11-2012
A Walk Through Paradise
I'm with Bozzz on this one Val.
Paradise and Pergatory are both here and now; ahead of us - nothing.
I hope I'm wrong and Paradise surprises.
Beautifully written.
Roger

Author's Reply:
No, I don't think you are wrong Roger, but one has to have one's dreams.
Thank you for commenting and rating - pleased you enjoyed the read.
Val

roger303 on 09-11-2012
A Walk Through Paradise
I'm with Bozzz on this one Val.
Paradise and Pergatory are both here and now; ahead of us - nothing.
I hope I'm wrong and Paradise surprises.
Beautifully written.
Roger

Author's Reply:

butters on 09-11-2012
A Walk Through Paradise
a fantasy, maybe, but a well-crafted one. it's always nice to read a piece that doesn't trip up its own 'feet', and is enlivened enough by beautiful things not to plod.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for your comments and rating butters πŸ™‚
Val

Harpie on 10-11-2012
A Walk Through Paradise
I'd like to see sunbeams dancing on my hand .... a lovely poem with some beautiful imagery. Spring is my paradise... winter my purgatory. Nice one.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting Harpie.
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 11-11-2012
A Walk Through Paradise
Beautiful, sheer escapism.Lovely rhythm and flow, most enjoyable...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating Maggie. You are so kind.
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 12-11-2012
A Walk Through Paradise
Another cracker from your inventive mind, great writing Val. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.
Best wishes.
Val


The Rose (posted on: 05-11-12)
πŸ™‚ .....

Calm the night and stilled the sea Bathed in its tranquility A fleeting glimpse of death`s repose Gently stirred the sleeping rose (But still too blind to understand I let it wither in my hand) The lifeless form fell to the earth There again to find new birth For withered though the rose may be Its seed lives on eternally
Archived comments for The Rose
peg on 05-11-2012
The Rose
Ah, I loved the brevity of this. Everything said in so few lines, not a meaning escaped me.Perfect rhyming.Lovely...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks Maggie - so pleased the meaning came through.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 05-11-2012
The Rose
Poignant. And I love roses.

Author's Reply:
They are lovely aren't they, but this is about the rose within.
Thank you again for commenting and rating Andrea, appreciated as always.
Best wishes.
Val

butters on 05-11-2012
The Rose
concise write that captures that sense of tranquility while focusing our attention on the rose...



liked this a lot.

Author's Reply:
Thank you butters, pleased you liked.
Best wishes.
Val

stormwolf on 05-11-2012
The Rose
an allegorical type poem that reminds us that there are cycles in everything.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison for commenting and rating. Always appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 06-11-2012
The Rose
Dying petals, living rosebud - hope it fell on fertile soil. A taste of Herrick in the evening calm. Go lovely Val. David Bozz

Author's Reply:
Thanks again David - I hope it fell on fertile soil too.
Regards.
Val

cooky on 06-11-2012
The Rose
Now this is poetry. I loved it

Author's Reply:
Thank you Cooky, thank you so much, and for the rating.
Best - Val

Harpie on 07-11-2012
The Rose
Your poetry feels almost Victorian in its telling. I imagine you writing with a quill at your writing desk before taking tea, in china teacups in the drawing room. You capture the romance of that era even though they are clearly written without any time frame in mind. Beautiful romantic words and a solid grasp of flow and meter. I have yet to trip over a cobbled word.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Harpie, I do tend to favour the older style of writing.
Best wishes.
Val


Eclipse (posted on: 05-11-12)
: -) .....

As upwards so to gaze in awe I saw a wondrous sight For in the beauteous heavens above The day turned into night The moon was dancing with the sun Fixed in a long embrace - A lovely courtship had begun Up there in silent space Suspended high in dark display As one, entwined in love Against the black and sombre sky Their backdrop set above They kissed so long and tenderly Wrapped in a sweet romance - Before my eyes they ballet`d in A graceful cosmic dance The darkened vaults then set a scene A truly splendid thing As from their heav`nly union shone A shimm`ring diamond ring The daylight then returned in full As, slow, they moved apart Their marriage thus surrendered to Reveal the sun`s bright heart
Archived comments for Eclipse
Mikeverdi on 05-11-2012
Eclipse
Wonderful, I loved it Val. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike for commenting and rating.
Regards.
Val

peg on 05-11-2012
Eclipse
A beautiful eclipse...enjoyed it, thanks...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks Maggie, appreciate your input.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 05-11-2012
Eclipse
A lovely take on an eclipse πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 06-11-2012
Eclipse
Wish I'd thought of that - mine, on reading your excellent poem were of :
a noble sun, towering in its pride of place,
was by a humble moon, oer'shadowed and laid low
Apologies to YKW



Author's Reply:
Thanks very much David - apologies to YKW ?
Best - Val

Harpie on 07-11-2012
Eclipse
What a lovely concept, and the perfect marriage,you only have to see each other once every 150 years or so. Smooth, lovely to read and a very romantic start to the day.

Author's Reply:
Hahaha - the perfect marriage indeed!! Thanks for commenting Harpie, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val


Meditation (posted on: 02-11-12)
(To find a few moments of peacefulness - to meditate).

What golden ecstasies we`d find Within the chasms of the mind Between each passing thought we`d see That boundless realm – infinity Where space is not and time is not And earthly cares long since forgot We`d step a moment out of time Embraced in restfulness sublime And through Nirvana`s gates flung wide We`d see the flame that burns inside With integrated mind and soul No longer we, one with the whole
Archived comments for Meditation
peg on 02-11-2012
Meditation
Well, it worked...I was at perfect peace reading this.Beautiful..Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks Maggie - hope the rest of your day remains peaceful.
Have a good weekend too.
Beat wishes.
Val

roger303 on 02-11-2012
Meditation
Beautifully etheral.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Roger.
Regards.
Val

butters on 02-11-2012
Meditation
competently written, and engaged me from line one even though i was expecting something maybe a bit cheesier from the title! thanks πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting butters - sorry about the lack of cheese !! πŸ™‚
Regards.
Val

Bozzz on 03-11-2012
Meditation
With not a even a god particle to be seen - sounds like a big black hole to me ! Glad you came out the other end to write the poem - but was it the same you? We shall see.
You know I love your poetry - stay with us. David.

Author's Reply:
Thank you again David. I am delighted you like my poetry - to be truthful, I was considering pulling out of this site as I was thinking that perhaps it was not the right audience for my style of writing. Then I got a message from Sunky saying I had been selected for featured member, so decided I would stay. Re this poem - I don't do God. Just as I believe that heaven and hell are experienced here on earth during life, I believe God and the Devil to be aspects of the human psyche. A number of my poems also refer to `infinity` - this I believe to be a state of being (not heaven in the religious sense) where there is a sense of peace and timelessness, and a connection with all that is. I hope this clarifies the content of my poetry - it is important to me that it is understood.


Lament (posted on: 02-11-12)
My story ......

Cradled deep in my mother`s womb My soul, and hers, entwined With each heart beating soft and low Two lives, in one, combined I heard the murmur of her voice And felt her gently sway As, tenderly, she carried me Within her through each day She bore me as a mother will In joyfulness and pain Then held me close against her breast My life there to sustain And though my newborn eyes were dim My senses yet still furled I gazed upon her loveliness My life, my heart, my world (I`ve ne`er beheld a smile so sweet Nor yet a face so fair A vision hewn from misted pearl With eyes beyond compare) I felt her love envelop me Protective as I grew Oh, she was everything to me Was all I ever knew And through my childhood`s magic years Of innocence and light No clouds were there to hide the sun No everlasting night But then ... she chose to end her life (The misted pearl waxed grey) And liquefaction of her soul Left mine to fade away                                      (If only I could see her now And touch her once again, Then I would surely be reborn, Slip back from whence I came)
Archived comments for Lament
peg on 02-11-2012
Lament
A sensitively penned poem that brought a tear to my eye...thanks for sharing...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting and rating Maggie.
Best wishes.
Val

butters on 02-11-2012
Lament
"the misted pearl waxed grey"
this line stands out for me, as quite quite beautiful.

the poem wraps the reader about with a sense of love, which isn't always an easy thing to achieve in a piece dealing with (what seems to be) deeply personal stuff - too often a poet will accidentally alienate the reader by not engaging their sympathies and so making them feel not a part of the process.

Author's Reply:
Thank you butters for reading, commenting and rating. This write is very personal to me and is an exception to my usual self-imposed rule of no ostensibly personal stuff. But it was one I had to do.
Best wishes.
Val

butters on 02-11-2012
Lament
oops, i read 'comment only' as meaning you didn't want a rating but see that's not right. sorry!

Author's Reply:

Andrea on 03-11-2012
Lament
Beautiful and sad.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Best - Val

Bozzz on 03-11-2012
Lament
Another thing of beauty from you Val - I felt the warmth too. A small point : For me, the third line in the penultimate stanza would read more elegantly without "the" !?
And liquefaction of her soul ...

Author's Reply:
Thanks Bozzz for commenting. I agree with the change you suggest.
Best wishes.
Val

Ionicus on 03-11-2012
Lament
I can only concur with the preceding sentiments: a sad and sensitive writing.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Iconicus for your comments and rating, which I very much appreciate and value.
Best wishes.
Val

amman on 03-11-2012
Lament
So beautifully and bravely expressed Val. I like this very much.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Amman, you are very kind.
Best wishes.
Val

Harpie on 07-11-2012
Lament
This one is completely different to the other two. It's interesting that the 'event' is almost incidental to the poem. It's as if the poem is all about life and the mention of the opposite has crept in while you weren't looking. Beautiful and sad. I lost my mother very young so felt the words.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Harpie - sorry for your early loss.
Best wishes.
Val


O Raging Wind (posted on: 29-10-12)
A challenge against life.

O wind, O raging wind Come seize me in your flight Then bear me on your wings Through realms of darkest night Blow, blow with all your might Blow, blow with all your might Carry me and raise me So high above all things In your swirling vortex Where loud your voice there sings Blow, blow O king of kings Blow, blow O king of kings N`er deem to steal my heart Nor yet all hope abrade For truth shall be my guide Of you I`m unafraid Blow, blow until you fade Blow, blow until you fade
Archived comments for O Raging Wind
Andrea on 30-10-2012
O Raging Wind
Very topical, given the rage of hurricane Sandy. And man thinks he's so mighty and all-powerful, eh?

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea. Man can never defeat Mother Nature, she is all-powerful.
Val


This New Eden (posted on: 29-10-12)
We all wish we could change the world .........

If e`er the human race should die And I then stood alone I`d raise my eyes up to the sun And take him as my own For he would be my guiding star To lead me through each day Upon my quest to change the world His light to show the way The moon my shining lantern bright The caves my dwelling be The amber sand my carpet soft The trees my canopy For as sole guardian of this earth I`d wander far afield In search of all to be transformed Each blemish thus revealed And through this wondrous alchemy The world would hence be changed Each imperfection classified And deftly rearranged Then with my heart, I`d sow the seeds Of Paradise anew With each one fashioned out of love So perfect, pure and true Each leaf, each bloom, so beautiful Unveiled for all to see (But hidden deep where none could find I`d set the apple tree) And every creature, large and small Would roam this glorious land Released from pain and suffering To stand at man`s right hand This earth would hence become the place Where joy would reign supreme No guns, no bombs, no tears, no hate This is my greatest dream And then a rainbow I would steal Her colours soft and pure To carefully delineate Humanity, once more And paint the seas with emerald green The skies with sapphire blue Earth`s beauty so to redefine Then give her back to you Then I, unworthy yet to dwell In this new Eden born Would slumber long in deep repose Awaiting man`s new dawn And whilst asleep, my one desire That when our time is here Each one would live in innocence And happiness, not fear For every heart would beat in time The sweetest symphony Each breath, each touch, each spoken word, In perfect harmony …………………………………………………… May love, sweet love, forever grow Her seeds, may all forever sow
Archived comments for This New Eden
Mikeverdi on 29-10-2012
This New Eden
just beautiful Val. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, this is one of my older writes so am pleased you like it.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 29-10-2012
This New Eden
Val for President, I say!

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea, don't think I'll be standing this year !!
Regards.
Val

roger303 on 29-10-2012
This New Eden
Beautifully penned Val.
Imagine if man had never trodden upon the Earth, wouldn't it be an absolute Paradise!

Author's Reply:
It would indeed Roger, thank you for commenting and rating.
Best wishes.
Val

butters on 31-10-2012
This New Eden
not a foot out of place. very nicely crafted, very musical.

favourite line:

The amber sand my carpet soft



Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting butters, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

cooky on 31-10-2012
This New Eden
I like this well crafted and a poem of beauty

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Cooky, glad you like. I just need to go and put on my fig leaves !!
Regards.
Val

Bozzz on 01-11-2012
This New Eden
Truly lovely poem, Val. My main concern is for you. In choosing the Sun you have selected a fiery and vicious partner, exploding at the drop of a hat. Trouble is that if you had decided on the moon, you would be forced to eat cheese forever. Between a boiling rock and a cold cowshed. ...David


Author's Reply:
Oh very funny Bozzz !! I'm very fond of cheese so no problem there. As for an exploding sun, my husband's backside explodes regularly so I am well used to a fiery partner !
Val


Sleep Well Tonight (posted on: 26-10-12)
.......... πŸ™‚

Be still, O world, sleep well tonight May all your dreams take gentle flight Ascending heav`nly stairs sublime Through all the corridors of time To drift on lofty shimm`ring clouds Enwrapped in bright celestial shrouds Beyond the earth in regions fair Without a thought, without a care Upon a journey set in space Another time, another place Above the land, above the sea There yet to find tranquillity In magic worlds your mind to dwell On fantasies and dreams that tell Of hopes, unmet, behind closed doors And visions seen on distant shores With pictures painted in the sky Upon the wings of doves to fly Illusions grand and heaven sent Enchanting and magnificent (Whilst phantoms dance in shadowed places Bright with luminescent faces Floating through the mind, encaptured, There with images enraptured) Be still, O world, sleep well, sleep sound May all your dreams with peace abound Then waken softly with the dawn To greet again a bright new morn`
Archived comments for Sleep Well Tonight
cooky on 27-10-2012
Sleep Well Tonight
lovely rythm and well penned. I like this

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Cooky for commenting and rating, much appreciated. Pleased you like it.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 28-10-2012
Sleep Well Tonight
I prefer to wake a bit later than dawn which means most of my dreams come around 8 am BST. Val what should I do ?
Love the poem - jealous of your technique and good nights...David.

Author's Reply:
Actually David I don 't sleep well - but thanks for your comments anyway, and I don't think it matters what time you dream, as long as they are sweet.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 28-10-2012
Sleep Well Tonight
This is lovely, Val - I only wish all my dreams were so peaceful.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Andrea. Sweet dreams for tonight !!
Val xx

jamalbbd on 31-10-2012
Sleep Well Tonight
very much enjoyed reading it, you have a deft way with imagery. all the best. Jamal.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for commenting and rating Jamal, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val


The Shadow (posted on: 26-10-12)
Refer to Carl Jung`s shadow archetype.

At the dawn of man`s becoming Spun a web of dark deceit So to seize his soul forever Clothed in envy and conceit In the darkness moves the shadow Like a veil of ebony Clouding all the sleeping senses Tracing out each destiny Deep into his core it burrows `Til he bleeds a stream of tears Stealing his tranquillity, and Sowing there his hidden fears As a cloud of starlings flying `Cross the sky to shroud the sun So the mind eclipsed by sorrow – Man`s destruction has begun In the darkness moves the shadow There with heart as black as coal Night obscures the fading dawn, with Dereliction of the soul
Archived comments for The Shadow
stormwolf on 26-10-2012
The Shadow
As someone who has studied dream analyses and is a huge fan of Jung, I resonated to this poem.
The first stanza sets the scene that the last stanza completes.
Powerful work in an almost 'teaching' vein that enhances the subject matter so well.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison for commenting and rating.
Val x

amman on 28-10-2012
The Shadow
A stark picture (and a little disturbing) of the shadow inherent within us. I like the spareness of this poem, a little different from your usual classical style. 'With' on the penultimate line could start the final line but I guess that is deliberate. Good stuff.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting and rating amman - I put the `with` on the penultimate line to maintain the syllable count.
Best wishess.
Val

Mikeverdi on 29-10-2012
The Shadow
So Sorry to be so long getting to this one. I truly loved it, I think its the best one of yours I have read (and I am a great fan). Mike

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Mike, and for the rating. No need for apologies, we are all bound by time. Pleased you like.
Best wishes.
Val


Enigma (posted on: 22-10-12)
We've all been there, just can't figure it out !!

I wonder how it came to be This thing, and how it baffles me The reason why I can`t pretend I simply cannot comprehend I scratch my head and pout my lips Then place my hands upon my hips Round and round the room I pace With crumpled brow and puzzled face From dawn through dusk it fills my head Until its time to go to bed Then lie awake `til break of day This problem will not go away Deep in thought my hair I twiddle If only I could solve this riddle Some resolution I must find To pacify this troubled mind Perplexed, bewildered and nonplussed To find the answer, then I must Dissect this thing which bothers me         The truth of it that I might see That`s it I shout, but then again The reason why, I can`t explain For as I analyse the clues There is no answer to this ruse
Archived comments for Enigma
Mikeverdi on 22-10-2012
Enigma
You are so right, we have all been there! Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike.
Val

Bozzz on 22-10-2012
Enigma
Never go to bed with an incomplete poem, or an unsolved crossword clue or in mid-quarrel. Go with all three because spending the night wondering which to tackle tomorrow is quickly answered. Loved the poem, waking moments are often the most productive - mentally and sexually. You read the Times too? LOL... David



Author's Reply:
Okay David, advice taken.
Thanks for commenting and rating.
Val xx

Ionicus on 23-10-2012
Enigma
It is infuriating when the answer eludes us even though we seem to apply logic to our thoughts. Oddly enough it is at night, lying in bed, when the solution presents itself to me.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Iconicus for reading and rating.
Regards.
Val


Bright Flame (posted on: 22-10-12)
A love poem.

My love, my love, no scented flower Could smell so sweet there in my bower - No stars could yet adorn the night Nor sun, nor moon, e`er shine so bright As that which brings me love`s delight For that which brings me love`s delight Shines forth from you to feed my sight - A love that never shall depart A tender longing to impart Bright flame that burns within my heart Bright flame that burns within my heart O let us not be set apart - Stay close my love, a vigil keep Upon my soul, which slumbers deep So deep as in eternal sleep So deep as in eternal sleep That I no more shall ever weep - O love that shines within your eyes A love that neither wilts nor dies A love that nothing e`er denies A love that nothing e`er denies The greatest gift, the greatest prize That I shall cherish through all time Shall so extol as bells that chime My love for you is so sublime My love for you is so sublime That nought there is I could not climb - You are the angel by my side Forever there shall you abide My light, my heart, my flowing tide My life, my heart, my flowing tide …..
Archived comments for Bright Flame
sullivan on 22-10-2012
Bright Flame
Delightfully naieve and uncomplicated; simple, subtle, readable. Like it!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Sullivan for commenting and rating.
Val

peg on 24-10-2012
Bright Flame
A lovely flow to this loop poem, delightful read...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thank you Maggie for reading and rating.
Best wishes.
Val

Capricorn on 25-10-2012
Bright Flame
Oh Lovely!
Eira

Author's Reply:
Thank you Capricorn for commenting and rating, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val


Saddleworth Moor (posted on: 19-10-12)
I was inspired to write this poem on the recent death of Winnie Johnson (died 18 August 2012), mother of Keith Bennett whose body is believed to have been buried on Saddleworth Moor by Ian Brady and Myra Hindley, perpetrators of the Moors Murders during the years 1963-1965.

The wind blows so cold on Saddleworth Moor Where the voice of a child is heard in the gloom ''I`ve slept here so long, I want to go home'' ''Please take me back to my own little room'' As rain tumbles down on Saddleworth Moor His voice can be heard in the depths of the night Just one little boy who sleeps all alone Seeks to be free from his sorrowful plight Through all the darkness of grief and despair For so many years his poor mother has cried But never to find her dear little boy On Saddleworth Moor where little Keith died Such evil was wrought to five little souls On Saddleworth Moor near five decades ago These innocent children drawn to their deaths The answer to ''why'' we never will know If I were an angel, I`d find that dear child On Saddleworth Moor where deep hidden he lies No never to rest until he was found To search every hillock beneath the blue skies Brady and Hindley I hope will ne`er sleep Nor find any peace for their deeds so grotesque Winnie, Keith`s mother, has now passed away And I pray that her soul has now come to rest Yet still her heart beats on Saddleworth Moor (Though death has now claimed her, the day is now done) Forever and ever to search for her child As in spirit she seeks to find her dear son
Archived comments for Saddleworth Moor
BATEMAN on 19-10-2012
Saddleworth Moor
Wow Val, this is really good but very very sad, i hope and pray Winnie is reunited with Kieth in the spirit world, so her pain can at last be healed xxxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Bateman. It is so sad that Winnie never found Keith's resting place, and I hope that her family, who have vowed to continue the search, will find him one day.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 20-10-2012
Saddleworth Moor
As Bateman says, really good but so sad. That poor woman, dying before she knew where her boy was. Absolutely tragic. And they say Brady probably doesn't even remember himself anymore.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and rating Andrea. Like everyone else, this attacked my heart and soul. Tragic indeed.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 21-10-2012
Saddleworth Moor
Our news bulletins are so full of crimes of this nature. A man from Mars watching TV would conclude that our society is rotten to the core. Perhaps it is? As ever, Val, I liked your poem very much, though this week end has pushed me to murder report fatigue. ...David.

Author's Reply:
Thank you David for reading, commenting and rating. I do despair over man's inhumanity, but it must be acknowledged that for all the evil there is also a great deal of good - but we do need to keep working at it because there is not enough of the latter.
Best wishes.
Val

peg on 24-10-2012
Saddleworth Moor
A deep haunting write, written with compassion. You echo most peoples thoughts here...Maggie

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Maggie.
Best wishes.
Val


Sunrise (posted on: 19-10-12)
Ostensibly about the sunrise, at a deeper level about enlightenment.

Where earth meets sky, around the world A golden thread is softly curled And then from sleep thus slowly torn The angel of the day is born To herald yet another dawn Encircling all with dazzling rings As phoenix-like he spreads his wings And so unveils his gleaming light Shining, incandescent, bright To steal the shadows of the night And clouds aflame with burning glow With red and amber lit below - There scarce could be more beauteous play Than when the night turns into day And when the dark is chased away For at the rising of the sun Another day has yet begun Another day, your way to find Another day within your mind Another day …. are you still blind ? Step, step, step this way Into the brightness of the day Into the world of beauteous play After the dark is chased away
Archived comments for Sunrise
BATEMAN on 19-10-2012
Sunrise
Good morning my friend, a brilliant poem.
"And then from sleep thus slowly torn,
the angel of the day is born"
I loved these lines xxxxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Bateman, and for the rating. Glad you like.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 19-10-2012
Sunrise
What man, when sober, will defend
The dawn, that cursed purveyor of the light.

Ah well, the poor old sun can't please everybody. Lovely poem, just felt some of the lines not quite at your usual meaty best. Hope you will forgive me for saying that....David Bozzz.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for commenting David - guess sometimes a lettuce leaf is the best we can do, but watch this space, there may be more meat to come !!!
Val

Weefatfella on 19-10-2012
Sunrise
Photobucket
Enjoyed this. Strangely the words 'Another day …. are you still blind ?' when I read them, I seen a flash of light.
Weird the way the mind works.
Thanks for sharing.
Weefatfella


Author's Reply:
Was this an epiphany WFF, or do you need to take more water with it. I hope it was the former.
Thanks for reading and commenting, pleased you enjoyed.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 20-10-2012
Sunrise
Lovely! Where's that Alison - sure she'd love this!

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Andrea - Alison seems to have done a disappearing act. Maybe she is on hols.
Cheers.
Val

Pelequin23 on 21-10-2012
Sunrise
lovelly poem excellently written as usual πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pelequin for your comment and rating,
You are very kind.
Regards.
Val

peg on 24-10-2012
Sunrise
A lovely read. I like the extra line inbetween the stanzas. Extra emphasis...great message too. 'Wake up and the smell the roses' sort of thing...Maggie πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and rating Maggie, much appreciated.
Regards.
Val

peg on 24-10-2012
Sunrise


Author's Reply:

jamalbbd on 30-10-2012
Sunrise
I enjoyed it, well penned, I applaud your rhyming choice in the last stanza; a cadence of optimism.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks jamalbbd for commenting and rating, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

butters on 04-11-2012
Sunrise
a couple of really lovely phrases jump off the page (or screen), Val:

Where earth meets sky, around the world
A golden thread is softly curled

And clouds aflame with burning glow
With red and amber lit below

can you tell me the name of this form, Val? it fits the piece very well, with rhymes not feeling shoe-horned into place and allowing the message to be more important than its bones.

if it lacks a little passion, for me as a reader, I believe its quiet smoothness serves it well enough to leave an imprint on many minds.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting butters. Pleased you enjoyed. I am not into poetic form - most of my poems are quatrain stanzas with varying schemes, ie a,a,b,b. a,b,a,b, or a,b,c,b. Any variations are of my own experimentation, although they may of course be of a form of which I am myself unaware. The words come out of my head and take whatever form THEY choose. As for passion, I feel that the subject matter of the poem may warrant "quiet smoothness" instead.
I appreciate your interest.
Best wishes.
Val

deepoceanfish2 on 05-11-2012
Sunrise
So like a lullaby....Lovely!

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting.
Regards.
Val


Great Eagle (posted on: 15-10-12)
Enjoy the journey .... πŸ™‚

Great eagle spread your golden wings Above the world, my load to bear Transport me to the realm of kings That I may find some solace there Across the wooded land to fly Then mingle with the salted air Where`er the silver seagulls cry To thus relinquish all despair With breeze as sweet as ether`s breath Empyreal, above compare Oh carry me to mystic death Celestial beauty shining fair Go forth where all good souls are free Above, beyond, without a care Unchained from all that captures me My heart to tether and ensnare Great eagle spread your golden wings Ascend upon the starlit stair To so unbind above all things This leaden heart, unmasked, laid bare
Archived comments for Great Eagle
Andrea on 15-10-2012
Great Eagle
Lovely!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea.
Best wishes.
Val

BATEMAN on 17-10-2012
Great Eagle
A beautiful poem Val, best line was "great eagle spread your golden wings, assend upon the starlit stair.
Really well written and thought out xxxxxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you again for reading and commenting Bateman,
and also for the rating. Pleased you enjoyed.
Best wishes.
Val


Heaven & Hell (posted on: 15-10-12)
My belief that heaven and hell are experienced during life rather than after death.

Heaven ..... We speak of doves and cherubims Of angels chanting mystic hymns With shimm`ring, swirling mists of night Enshrouding souls in heav`nly flight Then wait in hope that all shall find Eternal peace for humankind - Beyond the stars, this holy place We think to gaze upon His face Yet here, in life, my soul is real Within this heart, to love, to feel The splendour of man`s richest prize The gift of life, where here it lies It`s not beyond, but `neath the skies Reflected in two lovers` eyes It lingers in their tender kiss Within their arms, entwined in bliss It`s present in each flow`ring rose In every living thing that grows Embracing every baby`s birth It`s not above, it`s here on earth And if you look, you`ll see it clear Within the things you hold most dear Pervading every kindly deed That satisfies each human need It`s not a far and distant place Reserved for those bestowed with grace Immersed in every single breath It`s found in life, not after death And Hell ..... The serpent lies in wait, we fear The pangs of death, e`er drawing near For those whose lives have not been pure This place, accursed, they must endure Set deep within the earth`s sweet light We speak of hell`s eternal night Engulfing all possessed of sin So dark, this evil place within Yet through this broken heart, I know It`s not some place that lurks below It`s here in life, in every cry In every tear, in every lie It`s found in every human pain O`er every evil deed to reign Concealed in all the things we fear It`s not beneath the earth, but here You`ll find it in each starving child, Within each living thing defiled By man`s foul deeds, it lingers on `Til every spark of truth is gone And Satan`s gift sure has a price The cost is pain and sacrifice Of love, of joy, of peace divine In eyes so blind, no more to shine The devil`s fires don`t burn beneath The earth, you`ll find no gnashing teeth - War-torn children will tell you well Where lash the raging flames of hell!
Archived comments for Heaven & Hell
roger303 on 15-10-2012
Heaven & Hell
There's some good stuff posted today!
Brilliant.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Roger, and for rating.
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 15-10-2012
Heaven & Hell
This is just beautiful, thanks for posting this and sharing it with us. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and rating Mike, pleased you enjoyed.
Regards.
Val

Andrea on 15-10-2012
Heaven & Hell
I agree with you, Val...

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Best - Val

Weefatfella on 15-10-2012
Heaven & Hell
Photobucket



Of course it's true. Heaven and Hell are the same place.

It's al perspective.

Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF for your comments.
Regards.
Val

BATEMAN on 17-10-2012
Heaven & Hell
Putting aside all the calamities in the world, Darvaza in Russia is said to be the gate way to hell on earth.
Heaven is a cosmological, mythological or metaphysical term for a transcendent place from which heavenly beings such as( heavenly father or heavenly mother, angels, god) originated and some people believe these to be true, so as they will meet their loved ones in an after life.(Be it good or bad).
A very good poem Val, something on which we all have an oppinion xxxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Bateman for your comments. Heaven and Hell are indeed mythological concepts and not to be understood in literal terms as places that actually exist - that is my belief, but others may think differently of course.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 17-10-2012
Heaven & Hell
Val, all I can say is that I wish I had written this poem. Clarity, it's sharp and puts the issue to bed for me. But if there is no heaven I do feel sorry for some - even for the Islamic martyrs - where are the virgins? Bravo. David

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comments and rating David. There are those who choose to believe in heaven/hell in the religious sense, and they are entitled to their beliefs just as I am entitled to mine. As for the virgins, I refrain from comment
here !!
Thanks again Bozzz.
Best wishes.
Val

Pelequin23 on 17-10-2012
Heaven & Hell
beautifully written and crafted and intellegent in its content πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pelequin for reading and commenting, and also for the rating.
Thank you also for favouriting - I am humbled, and much appreciate.
Pleased you enjoyed the read.
Best wishes.
Val

RoyBateman on 18-10-2012
Heaven & Hell
Very good indeed - well argued and also well-crafted, and the two don't always go together. I've always believed that the concept of "god" was within myself - or, of course, all of us, and is more or less interchangeable with the term "conscience". Some folk don't seem to have one, so what does that say about them? A certain JS was a good Catholic, or so he said...bloody hypocrite. Well done!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Roy for reading, commenting and rating.
My beliefs are as yours - the terms God and Devil are derived from the words good and evil are they not, aspects of the human psyche.
Best wishes.
Val


The Ghost (posted on: 12-10-12)
I don`t usually do humorous, but this is one which I knocked up some time ago - hope you find it amusing.

Whilst lying in my bed to sleep I saw an awesome sight - A ghostly spectre hovering there To haunt me through the night I hid my face beneath the sheets Too scared to move at all - What was that apparition set So pale against the wall Why had it come to visit me To fill me with such fear - Oh would it stay there all night long Or would it disappear I hardly dared to look again But opened just one eye Then slowly peeked across the room And thought that I would die I`m sure I saw it move my way I couldn`t even scream Because, through fear, I`d lost my voice - Oh tell me it`s a dream! That`s it, I thought, I`m fast asleep It isn`t really there And when I wake up in the morn' I`ll laugh at such a scare So, still hidden `neath the sheets I made it go away Then slumbered softly through the night Until the break of day And when the morning light shone in I sat up with a frown - The ghost I thought was haunting me Was just my dressing gown
Archived comments for The Ghost
Mikeverdi on 12-10-2012
The Ghost
That's my morning chuckle taken care of then:) Ha Ha!!

Author's Reply:
Pleased it made you laugh - thanks Mike.

Val

roger303 on 12-10-2012
The Ghost
Nice one Val.
A similar theme to my submission - the dressing gown gets a mench in mine too
Cheers
Roger

Author's Reply:
Thanks Roger, comment and rating appreciated. These dressing gowns seem to be the cause of a great deal of distress!
πŸ™‚ Regards
Val

Andrea on 13-10-2012
The Ghost
Haven't we all done just that? Made me smile.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Andrea for commenting and rating.
Scary stuff eh !!
Best - Val.

Weefatfella on 13-10-2012
The Ghost
Photobucket

Imaginations a terrible thing.
Mines drives me nuts.
Had a laugh Val,
Thank You for sharing.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks WFF - glad you were amused.
Val x

Bozzz on 13-10-2012
The Ghost
Reliving Christopher Robin's nanny's, no doubt - is yours a "beautiful blue, but it hasn't a hood"? Of course I specially stayed sober to read the poem this time ! Loved it Val. Secular blessings.
David


Author's Reply:
Wrote this poem a long time ago so I can't remember my dressing gown then - I am sure it was a hypothetical one anyway! Pleased you managed to stay sober, but you may need a drink prior to reading my next submission entitled Heaven and Hell, without wishing to be presumptious that you will want to read it! Looking forward to your future submissions David.
Val

expat on 14-10-2012
The Ghost
Very funny and a nice rolling rhythm. Kids will love it too.
Steve

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading and commenting expat, much appreciated.
Best wishes..
Val


O Lately I Did Dream Of You (posted on: 12-10-12)
I find it difficult to describe poetry which is meant to capture the essence of those things above worldly cognition, so I will leave it to the reader to discern the meaning of this poem.

O lately I did dream of you Sweet love, above all earthly things How gently you did carry me Upon your dazzling snow-white wings You bore me thus to realms unknown To mortal man, O love so pure, Beyond the stars where truth abides Where worldly sorrows be no more Yet love is but a fading thing Not ever deemed at all to last But such as this unending be In memory forever cast (For in the universal spread Of stars, with gentle cosmic glow, Is set the splendid aspect there Of love`s creation long ago) O lately I did dream of you Such love, to know you is my care Forever shall I seek your grace And search for you yet everywhere Upon the soft and feathered clouds Which span across the azure sky Above the ever-changing moon In places where the angels fly To capture you and keep you close Within my heart is my design Forever then to be as one Our souls in splendour to entwine But as still bound with earthly sight So far above none e`er shall `bide Until the heart doth set all free From mortal envy, greed and pride
Archived comments for O Lately I Did Dream Of You
Mikeverdi on 12-10-2012
O Lately I Did Dream Of You
I liked it Val, but I think it got a bit carried away with itself If I am honest. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks for the comment and rating Mike - guess its not really your kind of write. πŸ™‚
Best wishes.
Val

BATEMAN on 12-10-2012
O Lately I Did Dream Of You
A beautiful poem Val, made me think i was on Pegasus flying through the cosmic glow and the universal spread of the stars. thank you xxxxxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you Bateman for commenting and for the rating - so pleased you enjoyed.
Best wishes.
Val xxxxxx

franciman on 12-10-2012
O Lately I Did Dream Of You
Hi there,
There is a musical quality to this verse. The word choice suggests early Victorian poetry and the music emanates from the archaic phrasing. My fault probably, but I don't understand the story, or its other-worldliness?
Maybe I'm being pedantic. I like it but don't know why, and yet the why should be important.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Something to ponder on then Jim - thanks for reading, commenting and rating.
Best - Val

Weefatfella on 12-10-2012
O Lately I Did Dream Of You
Photobucket



Hi Val,

I know zilch about poetry but this to me speaks about the loss of and craving for the return of innocence. . The hope of us all. I enjoyed the piece very much.
Thank You for sharing.

Weefatfella. xxx



Author's Reply:
Its about the desire to find and integrate with the creative force from which everything emanates, love in its higher philosophical sense - does this make sense to you WFF ? Thank you for commenting, and I am so pleased you enjoyed.
Best wishes.
Val

Weefatfella on 12-10-2012
O Lately I Did Dream Of You
Photobucket

Val. When people git Philosophical there's usually whisky involved and that sounds good tae me. I do get what you're saying but I hide behind humour.
I'm still going for innocence Val.
Then again, anything that's pure is innocent.
Thanks Val Weefatfella, Slainte!xx


Author's Reply:
Are you suggesting I'm drunk WFF, tut tut tut (take mine with ginger by the way, otherwise I can't stand the stuff) πŸ™‚ Seriously, I'm pleased you have interpreted my poem like this, which is also relevant and appropriate. Poetry can often be interpreted in different ways. Love your humour too - you're just great !
Best - Val

Bozzz on 13-10-2012
O Lately I Did Dream Of You
Hi Val, For me the story is Nirvana almost found, then suddenly you hit the ground !
The quality of the lines means one must forgive the occasional loss of rhythm - an ethereal poem very much liked.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for commenting Bozzz. I am not sure why or where you feel there is a loss of rhythm though ? I think it often depends upon how one reads the words and pronounces all the syllables. For me, there is no loss of rhythm. πŸ™‚
Best - Val

Bozzz on 13-10-2012
O Lately I Did Dream Of You
Hi Val, It looks as though the bumps were in my mind, not the poem. Deepest apologies. When I was a kid aged four, I rode on a tray down the slope in Camden Hill Square and hit my head on the railings at the bottom. Family says "That accounts for everything" but maybe it was drop of wine this time. I kneel to beg forgiveness. David

Author's Reply:
Hope my poetry is not so bad that you need to have a drink of wine before reading !! Haha - just joking. No need to apologise, I have read many poems which ostensibly seem to lose their rhythm, but I do think it is often in the reading rather than the writing. An interesting little story about your tray-riding activities - maybe you should write a poem about it !!

Val

cooky on 13-10-2012
O Lately I Did Dream Of You
Wonderful poem. I like this

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Cooky for reading and rating. I am delighted that you like it - I realise this type of poetry is perhaps not to everyone's taste, so your approval is valued.
Best wishes.
Val


Lost Memories (posted on: 08-10-12)
Memories of the past are so often difficult to recall in terms of the feelings they originally engendered, but as we get closer to the end of life we perhaps begin to see things with fresh eyes with the prospect of what lies beyond.

Lost memories I seek to find In dusty caverns of my mind - To travel those abraded trails Then lift those misty tattered veils As set through time, where thought prevails And if perchance this worn terrain Shall yet such memories contain That I may see anew the day To witness yet again the way The light upon the earth shall play Then hear once more with richer sound The songs of nature all around And know with senses, fresh imbued The pleasures of this life, renewed Whilst mellowed thoughts for`er preclude Then shall I not, with dim recall, My heart with wonder to enthral - And ne`er again such dreams as these Yet captured in a passing breeze Imagination to appease Nor feel again that first embrace That first sweet kiss upon my face - Those tender words again to hear To comfort me, and stay my fear From he who yet I still hold dear But time will ever take its toll The passing years subdue my soul - For dulled my eyes, no more to see, No more rejoice in reverie Ah, albeit just fleetingly Yet wait, do I now hear the call (Away the misty veil to fall) Away, away, all sorrow chase With wondrous beauty to replace For now, I deem to see the face … … Eternity will e`er embrace
Archived comments for Lost Memories
Mikeverdi on 08-10-2012
Lost Memories
I love the way it flows, your work is always well structured. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Prettyinpink on 08-10-2012
Lost Memories
I am so going to love reading your work. Your style is easy and enjoyable to read and the sentiments within this verse are so real.

Author's Reply:
Sorry for delay in responding Prettyinpink, thought I had done it!
Thank you for your comment and rating, valued and appreciated as always.
Val πŸ™‚

Bozzz on 09-10-2012
Lost Memories
Liked the poem very much, Val. Taut and apt wording, very good rhythm, crisp. Crescendo subdued, arrival precise. That's skill.
David
.

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much David for reading, commenting and rating.
Much appreciated as always. πŸ™‚
Best wishes.
Val



The Old Lady (posted on: 08-10-12)
Title self-explanatory.

With furrowed brow and silvered hair Crumpled low in her rocking chair Draped in a shawl of tattered lace A thousand years upon her face And sallowed cheeks, the rosy cast Of girlhood, having long since passed She raised her eyes up to the sun For now she knew her life was done So many stories she had told Across the years, as she grew old But now the time was drawing near To be with those she loved most dear She meekly smiled and gave a sigh In memory of years gone by Then glanced down at her wedding band Hung loose upon her withered hand Her eyes then gazed towards the place Where stood a portrait of his face The first and only love she`d known Which blossomed like a rose, full grown And as she looked, her eyes grew dim (She thought she caught a glimpse of him!) But only shadows filled the room The wilted rose, no more to bloom She stroked her hair, and then her breast Where once her sleeping children pressed And in her lonely room did weep Then passed into eternal sleep
Archived comments for The Old Lady
roger303 on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
A beautifully written, poignant poem.
Excellent.
Roger

Author's Reply:
Thank you cor commenting Roger, and also for rating.
Regards.
val

amman on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
A touching snapshot of age and a lifetime of memories in that peaceful time before passing. Excellent rhyming and rhythm, as ever. Especially liked 'Draped in a shawl of tattered lace/a thousand years upon her face.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Many thanks amman, pleased you like it.
Best wishes.
Val

Weefatfella on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady

Laurel & Hardy: Dancing






Absolverybliddylutely Amazing.

I loved this.

Extremely well written. I was stunned.

Thank You very much Val for sharing this.

Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you WFF, pleased you like. Thanks for the nom and the hot - am humbled.
Love the Laurel & Hardy too - great stuff.
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
My Mother in Law died not so long ago. I remember her sat just like this. Your poetry has made a grown man cry, simply wonderful words. thank you for this one. Mike

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Mike - sorry about your Mum-in-Law, condolences.
Hope my poem didn't upset you too much.
Best wishes.
Val

franciman on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
Hi Val,

A very good write. Excellent structure and the Rhyme nailed. I have a single problem. I think it is one stanza too long and in the last verse is in danger of being maudlin. the first two lines of the penultimate verse and the last two lines of the poem would make a killer ending imho.
Great stuff.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comments and rating Jim. Re your crit, I'm not sure I would be happy with losing those four lines, but will give it some consideration, and would be interested in others' opinions.
Best wishes.
Val

BATEMAN on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
A beautiful poem, really well written reminded me of my gran xxxxxxx

Author's Reply:
Thanks for your comment and rating Bateman, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
Oh, lovely! Many people look at the elderly and forget they were young once, don't they? With youth and beauty and hopes and dreams. Me, I still feel 18 inside πŸ™‚

(Miind you, I'm only 25 outside :))

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea - wish I was only 25 !
Best - Val

Andrea on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
'...wish I was only 25 !' ... Me too πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:

jay12 on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
This is a superb bit of writing. I really liked it even though it's theme is very sad.

Jay.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Jay, and for rating.
Much appreciated.
Regards.
Val

Prettyinpink on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
Such a gentle flowing rhyme with sadness interwoven into a snapshot of life. Literally brought tears to my eyes, I likes it so much

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comment Prettypink, and for the rating. Pleased you enjoyed - sorry about the tear!
Much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
I think your word choice was impeccable - beautiful. Good rhythm and we knew what was coming, but it still sounded fresh. A very good poem. One small suggestion; worth thinking about 4th stanza - line 2. give memory back its 'o' and leave out 'the'. Still gives 4 beats and keeps the "the count" to a minimum - not that there are too many in your poem - very few in fact - but it is a good principle. David

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for your review and rating David. Good suggestion, I'll make that change - thanks.
Best wishes.
Val

sullivan on 08-10-2012
The Old Lady
Rich in pathos, sequinned with hope... A touching piece well deserving of the title 'poetry'...

Author's Reply:
Many thanks for your comment and rating Sullivan, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

RoyBateman on 09-10-2012
The Old Lady
Wistful, obviously, but very touching - and it's good to see something that rhymes and scans so effortlessly. (Though, of course, I know how much effort you had to put into it!) A fine poem. Reaches for tissues...

Author's Reply:
Thank you RoyBateman for reading and commenting, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

TexasLady on 10-10-2012
The Old Lady
Truly beautiful!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Texaslady and for the rating.
Very much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

cooky on 11-10-2012
The Old Lady
a beautiful rhyming poem. I liked it

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Cooky, and for the rating.
Much obliged.
Best wishes.
Val


Imagination (posted on: 05-10-12)
The title is self-explanatory.

O step into a wondrous world Where visions beautiful are hurled As through imagination`s play All thoughts then drift so far away As sweet illusions to portray Behind reality`s dark face Is veiled a bright empyreal place Where fantasies are captured there And dreams are evermore laid bare Magnificent beyond compare Whilst portraits flicker in the mind With sounds sublime there too entwined In still`ed contemplation bound The dancing chimera resound Through every thought and all around So, fanciful, the mind ascends Through maze-like paths it ever wends To wander into realms extant That captivate and so enchant Imagination`s wish to grant O step into this glorious world Where there all dreams be yet unfurled Then dance with joy and sweet delight To witness soft in mystic flight Illusions beauteous to your sight
Archived comments for Imagination
Bozzz on 06-10-2012
Imagination
A good wide-ranging poem with many exit points for further writing. I wondered if, in the last stanza, 'Where there' really meant 'Wherein'?
David (Bozzz)

Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading and commenting Bozzz.
I think 'where there' is the same as 'wherein', but
will take time to consider your suggestion.
Best wishes.
Val

Weefatfella on 07-10-2012
Imagination
Weefatfella., Safact!

Marvellous. Well written.
I enjoyed this.
Thanks for sharing.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Weefatfella - the dearth of comments on this one left me thinking that it is a load of old rubbish, but you have saved the day !!
Best wishes.
Val

Prettyinpink on 08-10-2012
Imagination
Really beautiful...the imagination of poets is truly remarkable. How else would we get to see such wondrous places and feel such intense emotion? Lovely write.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Prettypink for commenting and rating.
Regards.
Val


Jewels (posted on: 05-10-12)
A poem about the beauty of nature.

White diamonds sparkle in the sand And speckle darkened skies Green em`ralds flash in glist`ning seas Then glint in envious eyes Blue sapphires dance in wand`ring streams To shine in summer`s hue With amethyst in heather set In lavender there too Bright rubies sway in poppy fields To glow in fires of red Are captured in the flow of blood From heroes lying dead Then pearls so lustre in the clouds As through the sun defined Whilst topaz sets my heart aglow In fields of corn entwined The golden lambent sunshine glows When risen high at noon With misty robes of silver then Soft draped around the moon Such beauty lingers o'er the earth On Mother Nature`s gown These burnished jewels yet deeply set In her adorning crown
Archived comments for Jewels
Mikeverdi on 05-10-2012
Jewels
Beautiful. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for rating.
Regards. Val

cooky on 05-10-2012
Jewels
very good. I like this

Author's Reply:
Thank you cooky for commenting and rating.
Best wishes. Val

roger303 on 05-10-2012
Jewels
Beautiful writing
Roger

Author's Reply:
Thank you Roger, and for rating. Much appreciated.
Regards. Val

Andrea on 05-10-2012
Jewels
Glint, sparkle, speckle...lovely, atmospheric stuff - much enjoyed.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea.
Regards.
Val

Bozzz on 06-10-2012
Jewels
Beautiful and peaceful - the best side of Mother Nature. But Sod's Law says that she is a bitch. Can I invite you explore the other side? I have and it is cringe-making - I'll stay with your side. Loved it. David

Author's Reply:
Thanks for reading David, and for your comment. Yes, MN can indeed be a bitch - this wonderful earth isn't always so lovely !!
Best wishes.
Val

amman on 06-10-2012
Jewels
Nice to hear about the good side of Ma Nature. Beautifully and very cleverly written Val. Can't fault this.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you amman for reading, commenting and rating.
Pleased you enjoyed the read.
Best wishes.
Val

stormwolf on 06-10-2012
Jewels
Lovely and enchanting imagery. I can see you use a lot of apostrophes and it can be useful to keep the rhythm

Green em`ralds flash in glist`ning seas

but I cannot see why you choose to use them here...I can see you are very careful so it's something we shall have to agree to disagree on lol πŸ˜‰
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison. I used the apostrophes here to maintain the eight syllable rhythm.
Best wishes.
Val πŸ™‚

Prettyinpink on 08-10-2012
Jewels
Absolutely beautiful depiction of nature at it's best. Wonderful metaphor artistically employed. Loved it!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Prettypink for taking the time to read, and for your valued review and rating.
Best wishes.
Val


Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem (posted on: 01-10-12)
I wrote this poem in April of this year as a tribute to all those who lost their lives in the Titanic disaster in April 1912. The second half of the poem consists of a brief resume of the details concerning the disaster - each stanza is numbered accordingly.

(Considered to be the greatest maritime disaster of all time – 14/15 April 1912) Fair maiden of the ocean deep (1) This mighty vessel lost to sleep A jewel `neath a moonless sky `Twas fate that she so soon would die Against the ice her doom was sealed (2) Just ten percent of it revealed As close against its buried side With grace and dignity to glide The greater part was hid below (3) For so it be with frozen snow – A jagg`ed fortress `neath the sea A dark, unseen catastrophe Her belly slashed, then set to die, (4) (Upon the ocean bed to lie) – Into her hull the ocean gushed People and objects swirled and crushed But no-one listened to her cries (5) Nor even to her calls did rise And none acknowledged all her flares Nor sought to answer all her prayers Two hours and forty minutes passed (6) With all her charges holding fast Just twenty lifeboats, not yet filled, (And fifteen hundred hearts were stilled) Water seeping into her heart (7) Tearing her very soul apart Invincible of White Star Line She lurched, she groaned, with severed spine O`er time a saviour ship arrived (8) To aid the ones who had survived To take them thus into her care An isle of safety anchored there But in the darkness of the night (9) In ice-cold waters void of light Bounced scattered souls upon the waves Descending to their watery graves Then all the while, when hope was gone (10) In calm repose the band played on – `Nearer My God To Thee`, they think, As, with grace, she started to sink One hundred years her memory (11) Still lingers `neath the raging sea Within the hearts of all bereft Of those whose lives have long since left They said that sink she never could (12) But oh, dear God, she surely would ! Invincible of White Star Line She lurched, she groaned, with severed spine And though one century has passed Lost souls in memories are cast Their eyes as stars in heaven dwell Reflected in the ocean`s swell With tales of life and secrets kept Of those who loved and those who wept Your stories you will never tell Farewell, my friends, farewell, farewell … The sun upon the shimm`ring sea Will ever your companion be ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Verse 1: 10 April 1912: depart Southampton bound for New York – North Atlantic crossing. Verse 2: 14 April 1912 at 11:40 pm she hit an iceberg – she was travelling too fast and had taken a more northerly route than was appropriate. Verse 3: The iceberg lay just 1000 yards ahead but was not seen due to it being a moonless night. Verse 4: She was hit starboard bow – many assumed it was just a glancing blow which she had survived. Verse 5 : The crew of The Californian went to bed as it was thought that she was having a party. Verse 6: She held only 20 lifeboats instead of the 64 which she was designed to carry – just 1/3rd capacity, and these were not filled. Verse 7: Five compartments were flooded (only four and she would have survived), and just before 2:20 am on 15 April she broke up as she sank. Verse 8: RMS Carpathia responded to her cries for help and proceeded to rescue lifeboat survivors. Verse 9: 1500 lives were lost, of which 53 were children: 52 – 3rd class, but just 1 - 1st class ! Two dogs were saved. Verse 10: As they did on deck – all members of the band were lost, and subsequently regarded as heroes. Verse 11: 1912 – 2012: 100th anniversary poem – 14 April 2012. Verse 12: Captain Edward John Smith went down with his ship – his body was never recovered.
Archived comments for Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
Mikeverdi on 01-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
Brilliant.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike, and for rating.
Regards.Val

franciman on 01-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
Hi there,

A well constructed inspirational piece. If I have a criticism, it is that the need to rhyme makes it sound a but contrived in places and so robs it of passion imho.

Still very readable though.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jim for your critique, and also for rating.
Regards.
Val

Andrea on 01-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
Endlessly fascinating, the Titanic. I visited Cobh (pronounced 'Cove'), in County Cork, the last port of call before crossing the Atlantic. Beautiful place.

Good write.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea.
Regards.
Val

Weefatfella on 01-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
Photobucket

Hi Val Sorry about all the 'carry on' but I was caught up in your obvious passion for the subject. I too have always been intrigued by the death of this lady of the sea. the Top picture is the lady herself.
R.S.M Titanic



Titanic



Photobucket

In 1898, a fictional story called 'The wreck of the titan' was written by the author Morgan Robertson, which told the story of a ship called the Titan which hit an iceberg and that there were a lack of lifeboats on this ship. Robertson claimed to be psychic and got his inspiration for this story from his psychic abilities.

Although the novel was written before the Olympic-class Titanic had even been designed, there are some remarkable similarities between the fictional and real-life counterparts. Like the Titanic, the fictional ship sank in April in the North Atlantic, and there were not enough lifeboats for the passengers.


I thoroughly enjoyed your eulogy for her. thank you for sharing.



Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thanks for that information Weefatfella - a spooky story indeed and very interesting.
Thanks also for your comment, and for taking the time to read.
Best wishes.
Val

Bozzz on 01-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
An epic - an historic document. Well done. Rate 9.
Disagree re inserting verses that do not rhyme - homogeneity is important in good poetry.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Bozzz for your review and rating - presume you are referring to Franciman"s critique when you say you disagree with inserting verses that don't rhyme. The second part is explanatory only in supplying additional information for those readers who may not know fully the facts, and not meant to be intrinsically part of the poem. πŸ™‚
Glad you enjoyed the read.
Regards. Val

Bozzz on 01-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
An epic - an historic document. Well done. Rate 9.
Disagree re cfcomment on inserting verses that do not rhyme - homogeneity is important in good poetry.

Author's Reply:

stormwolf on 02-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
A very creative layout that brings the reader the whole picture.
My tiny niggle would be a few words repeated but the rhythm was steady and many great images.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comment/critique Alison.
Best wishes..
Val

Vilgax on 03-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
As a Belfast boy who grew up in the shadow of where this most famous of ships was built, I have a keen interest in stories and poems about her. You're poem is excellent my friend, I enjoyed it very much. David.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comment David, and also for rating.
Much appreciated.
Val

BATEMAN on 04-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
One of the best films ever made, depicting the loss of so many lives on the most famous ship ever to sail the high sea's.
A great poem xxxxx

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comment and also for the rating,
very much appreciated. Yes, the film was great. There was
an earlier film made which was also excellent.
Best wishes.
Val

TexasLady on 04-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
Hi ValDohren,

I also loved your poem. The quatrain is probably the most significant poetry form in history, and variations of rhyme scheme vary greatly. Several years ago a friend and mentor taught me to consider the a,b,a,b rhyme scheme....Most aabb's can be easily converted. This is only food for thought...it did NOT take away from the quality of your poem. a,b,a,b for the following stanza's would read: example:



Fair maiden of the ocean deep
A jewel `neath a moonless sky
This mighty vessel lost to sleep
`Twas fate that she so soon would die

...

The greater part was hid below
A jagg`ed fortress `neath the sea
For so it be with frozen snow –
A dark, unseen catastrophe

Her belly slashed, then set to die,
Into her hull the ocean gushed
(Upon the ocean bed to lie) –
People and objects swirled and crushed

But no-one listened to her cries
And none acknowledged all her flares
Nor even to her calls did rise
Nor sought to answer all her prayers

...

They said that sink she never could
Invincible of White Star Line
But oh, dear God, she surely would!
She lurched, she groaned, with severed spine


Author's Reply:
Thank you for reading, commenting and rating. Most of my poetry is in the form of the quatrain stanza and I do use varying rhyme schemes such as aabb, abab, abcb. I found your conversion interesting and thank you for that.
Best wishes.
Val

ValDohren on 04-10-2012
Titanic - 100th Anniversary Poem
Thank you for reading, commenting and rating. Most of my poems are in the style of the quatrain stanza and I use various rhyme schemes such as aabb, abab, abcb. Your conversion is interesting, and thank you for your suggestion.
Best wishes.
Val

Author's Reply:


Little Children Lost (posted on: 01-10-12)
A poem about the lost souls of children who have not survived, either through miscarriage, stillbirth, or death in childhood.

Butterflies, sweet butterflies Laughter lighting up their eyes Now they`ve gone to Paradise Do they dance and do they play 'Pon the stars so far away Watching o`er the ones who pray And can they see, are they blind Lost to love and humankind Unconstrained and unconfined Are they dark or are they fair With dusky eyes, golden hair Feathers floating in the air And do they weep, do they sing Fly with angels `pon the wing Joyously or suffering E'er to dwell in shining streams Lost to life and lost in dreams Lost forever now it seems Lost in space and lost in time But not in prose, not in rhyme Still they dwell in thought sublime And are they cold, are they warm Whisp'ring softly through the storm Quiet now, the born unborn Round, round and around they go Backwards, forwards, to and fro Swinging high and swinging low Only those who love them know
Archived comments for Little Children Lost
Mikeverdi on 01-10-2012
Little Children Lost
I have never read a poem about such a difficult subject, You have handled it delicately and written a beautiful moving poem. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mike.
Regards.
Val

Andrea on 01-10-2012
Little Children Lost
Heartfelt and lovely, Val

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea, and for rating.
Best wishes.
Val

stormwolf on 02-10-2012
Little Children Lost
A very poignant piece with lots of questions that defy answers while we are in the physical. The last line was so moving!
Not a great fan of 'pon unless absolutely necessary but that's just me πŸ˜‰

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison.
Regards.
Val

Weefatfella on 03-10-2012
Little Children Lost
Weefatfella., Safact!
Always emotive and subject sensitive.
Again a very well thought out piece.
Thank You For Sharing.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Weefatfella.
Regards - val

amman on 03-10-2012
Little Children Lost
Very delicate write on a sad, sad topic. Well constructed and rhymed, as ever.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Amman, and for rating.
Best wishes.
Val


Call Me Softly (posted on: 28-09-12)
This poem describes the wish to turn away from life and its difficulties until better times come along.

Call me softly in the darkness Do not deem to wake my soul Never think to move my stillness Nor my sorrow yet console In my slumber I shall linger Silent in the shadowed hours Not to stir, nor seek the dawning, Nor to sense the sweetened flowers Wake me at the springtime`s coming As the land is bathed in light When the birds and flowers blooming Bring an end to winter`s night Then shall I with heart uplifted Dance beneath the sun`s sweet grace Wakened thus my soul to gladness As portrayed upon my face Call me softly in the darkness Do not wrest me from my sleep Wait until the morning carries All that I should deem to keep … (Ever then no more to weep)
Archived comments for Call Me Softly
Mikeverdi on 28-09-2012
Call Me Softly
I love this one , its my favorite of yours to date. You have a great way with words, it all blends together beautifully.

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Mike. This is actually my latest write,
unlike some of my previous submissions.
Best wishes.
Val

Weefatfella on 28-09-2012
Call Me Softly
Superb, I was awed. thank you again for sharing.
Weefatfella

Author's Reply:
Thank you Weefatfella, appreciate.
Best wishes..
Val

stormwolf on 28-09-2012
Call Me Softly
This made me cry. I SO understood it and resonated with the whole ethos of it. (I do not think the last line is necessary but others may disagree.)

I wish I had written it. I could have from my own experience but your style is so distinctive.
I LOVE it! Into favs

I have written many along these lines. The soft pain of resignation, the huge surrender and the exhaustion.
Exquisite!

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison, and for rating.
Best - Val

whatacutebum on 28-09-2012
Call Me Softly
A beautiful poem. Nice one πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Whatacutebum, and also for rating.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 29-09-2012
Call Me Softly
Photobucket



I couldn't agree more with the nom and hope for a nib. I can, however, give ya a rib!



Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Greg, and that looks really yummy !
Mmmmmmmmm - Val

amman on 30-09-2012
Call Me Softly
Very rhythmic and almost hymnal like so many of yours. Great sentiments beautifully written.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Amman, and also for rating.
Regards. Val

Andrea on 30-09-2012
Call Me Softly
Beautiful!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea.
Best - Val


Ode To A Lost Love (posted on: 28-09-12)
A poem about the loss of a sweetheart.

"Oh sweet breath of eternal life Dance ever `pon her silent breast Released from pain and worldly strife The one I love is laid to rest" Her flaxen hair, like golden corn Fell soft about her lifeless face And round her shoulders to adorn As limp she lay in death`s embrace Still young, the bloom of youth today Her life had barely yet begun But all too soon to fade away No more to dance beneath the sun No more to laugh in sweet delight Nor skip through pastures, wild and free Nor hear the nightingales sing bright In pure and perfect harmony "I`ll ne`er forget her tender smile Nor yet her face, so sweet and fair Her gentle kisses to beguile I`ll cherish every thought of her" The teardrops glistened on his cheeks Like stars plucked from the darkened skies He held her hand, no more to speak Then gently kissed her still, cold eyes
Archived comments for Ode To A Lost Love
Mikeverdi on 28-09-2012
Ode To A Lost Love
So sad and so good and so well written

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mikeverdi - this is a very old poem of mine, written many years ago.
Thanks also for the rating.
Regards.
Val

stormwolf on 28-09-2012
Ode To A Lost Love
Well.............that got me out in goosebumps. A sure sign of being deeply moved. I am sensing an inherited ability to write poetry here from a past life.

As good as many classics.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison for your very kind comments. I have been told that I have Shakespeare's genes, but I got them from M&S haha πŸ™‚
Regards.
Val

Texasgreg on 29-09-2012
Ode To A Lost Love
Aye! Can't agree more with the nib and nom as I couldn't bear to read it, yet had to three times. Very, very well done.

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Many thanks again Greg, much appreciated
as always. πŸ™‚
Val

amman on 30-09-2012
Ode To A Lost Love
Sad, tender poem, can't fault it. Excellent rhyme and rhythm. Well deserving of the nom.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you so much Amman, and for the rating.
So pleased.
Best wishes - Val


Can You See (posted on: 24-09-12)
A poem about the senses at a deeper level than superficial consciousness.

Can you hear a gentle breath Through fields of golden corn Can you hear the willow shed Her tears of dew at dawn Can you hear a baby cry A baby yet unborn Shall you touch a drifting cloud Floating `cross the skies To swiftly touch the dancing flames Reflected in your eyes And so to touch a ray of light As o`er the land it flies And shall you speak of distant dreams And of life`s turning wheels Shall you speak of that great love The veil of death conceals Shall you speak of thine own self That truth alone reveals Where hangs the perfume of a rose Before it comes to bloom And where the fragrance of the night Your spirit to consume Should e`er the scent of beauty fade Then will we sleep too soon Can you see the smallest star Refulgent in the night Can you see a butterfly Flash by you, fast in flight Can you see the spark of truth - Behold Oh glorious light
Archived comments for Can You See
roger303 on 24-09-2012
Can You See
Beautifully written.
Ethereal.
Particularly appreciated the description of the weeping willow.
Regards,
Roger

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Roger for taking
the time to read, and also for
rating.
Regards.
Val

stormwolf on 24-09-2012
Can You See
Many deep questionsrelating to how we function in the world. In my world view I am 'part of all that' and glad to be so. So many go from the cradle to the grave never questioning or feeling the deeper connection. Another lovely and sweet flowing poem.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison for your comment, and
for reading and rating.
Regards, Val πŸ™‚

amman on 25-09-2012
Can You See
This is very finely crafted. I think your own description says it all really. Refulgent - great word. Perhaps the last line could do with an extra syllable to maintain the rhythm...'Behold that glorious light'. Just a suggestion.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Amman. This is a very old poem of mine written many years ago (too many to mention!), and I agree with your comment. I was being lazy with the last line and leaving it to the reader to pronounce the full three syllables of 'glorious', but I know what you mean and will do an edit to make it flow better. Ta very much.
Best wishes. Val

cooky on 25-09-2012
Can You See
Lovely write.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comment Cooky, and for
the rating - much valued.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 25-09-2012
Can You See
Aye! Definitely an uplifting and thought provoking piece, IMO.



Photobucket.



Good work!


Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Greg, and for reading.
Regards.
Val

Andrea on 26-09-2012
Can You See
Positively fairy-like. Quite lovely. Ashamed to say i had to look up 'Refulgent'.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Andrea, and for rating - you've
learnt a new word too !
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 27-09-2012
Can You See
Another great read, I loved it. for me it could have finished with the verse ending 'then we will sleep too soon' but that's just me.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, pleased you liked.
Regards.
Val


The Snow Birds (posted on: 24-09-12)
Some time ago, someone suggested I write a poem on the subject of snow, and this is my effort.

They fly beneath the cotton clouds With plumage virgin white As angels, spread their beauteous wings To bear them on their flight Through air so sweet and rarefied Above the earth, so cold, Yet with the sun behind their wings In light soft aureoled Then as they shed their feathers, down Upon the land they fall As snowflakes floating silently - Ah, can you hear them call ? They call, they call with sirens songs Which echo through all time To mingle with the winter`s hush With music sweet sublime And now with luminescent glow All sheeted dazzling bright The ground is soft beneath our feet A wondrous pristine sight As crystals sparkling in the sun Or stars in night`s embrace The snowfall fixed below our gaze Reflects upon each face And then, clad scantily, they soar Above this glorious scene The snow birds on their journey wend To places set with green To bask in summer`s gentle heat To grow their plumage new Flutt`ring o`er the treetops high To sing in skies of blue
Archived comments for The Snow Birds
Weefatfella on 24-09-2012
The Snow Birds
Absoverylutely. Loved it.

'Through air so sweet and rarefied
Above the earth, so cold,
Yet with the sun behind their wings
In light soft aureoled.'

Brilliant when I read the quoted stanza, I smiled joyously. A very emotive piece. thank you for cheering.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank for reading Weefatfella, and for
your review. Much appreciated.
Regards. Val

roger303 on 24-09-2012
The Snow Birds
Yes. Beautifully penned.
Thanks,
Roger

Author's Reply:
Many thanks Roger, pleased you
enjoyed the read.
Regards.
Val

Texasgreg on 25-09-2012
The Snow Birds
Aye! Only have distant memories of Iowa winters, but some of the more gentle snows were simply magical to me as a child and I can easily see your inspiration.

Thanks for the memories!
Photobucket.

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Greg - pleased you have some good memories.
Regards.
Val

Ionicus on 25-09-2012
The Snow Birds
A very imaginative poem well crafted. Well done.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Iconicus for your valued comments,
and also for the rating.
Regards - Val

cooky on 25-09-2012
The Snow Birds
Beautiful write.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Cooky, and for the rating - very
much appreciated.
Best wishes - Val

Pelequin23 on 25-09-2012
The Snow Birds
beautifully written creates an image like words painted on a canvas !

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pelequin for your valued comment
and for rating πŸ™‚
Regards - Val

ChairmanWow on 26-09-2012
The Snow Birds
Been awhile since i experienced snow, living in the Arizona desert. Thanks for bringing it back to me with this lyric write.

Ralph

Author's Reply:
Thanks Ralph, we get our share
here in the UK.
Best wishes
Val

Andrea on 26-09-2012
The Snow Birds
Lovely, and the rhyming seems effortless, very difficult to achieve.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, and for the rating.
Best wishes.
Val

Mikeverdi on 27-09-2012
The Snow Birds
I am new on the site and still finding my way, I am pleased to have found this one! its beautiful. Mike

Author's Reply:
Thanks Mike, and for the rating, much appreciated. I am new on this site myself so still trying to find my own way round to some extent. Welcome, and I hope you enjoy.
Best wishes
Val


Birds Eye View (posted on: 21-09-12)
How the earth might be viewed from high.

Looking down through misty spheres To visit wondrous lands Hewn through time, through endless years, Green fields and golden sands With glist`ning spreads of sapphire blue Unfolding `neath my gaze Then lofty heights of sombre hue Ascend through misty haze Beneath the soft and feathered clouds Rise peaks of emerald green All topped above with twisting shrouds Of mist, their tips unseen And golden plains reach wide and long Which sparkle in the sun To then be licked by silv`ry tongues With threads of silk unspun Then hov`ring over range and heath Where roaming creatures dwell As veils of purple stretch beneath Enrobing dale and fell (And yearning, hopeless, specks of dust Behind confining walls Beset with envy, greed and lust Chase dreams in concrete halls) To fly where beams of gleaming light On icy rises play Where fields of pure and dazzling white Meet deeps of steely grey And here green curtains hang above The apex of the world Dancing as two wrapped in love With glorious beauty swirled Then soaring high, beyond, to go Above all, looking down At this `blue marble` set below In her black velvet gown
Archived comments for Birds Eye View
roger303 on 21-09-2012
Birds Eye View
A lovely poem, beautifully constructed.
Verse six brings the reader to Earth (excuse the pun) with its reference to the virus that will eventually destroy this beautiful world.
Looking forward to reading more. Thanks.
Roger.


Author's Reply:
Thank you Roger, your comment is much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

stormwolf on 22-09-2012
Birds Eye View
Hi Val,
You have a very lovely old fashioned feel to your work. This was like looking at some exquisite tapestry or painting. The world is such a beautiful place. I too, loved the reference to the blight upon it ie humans.
The stanza in question adds some spice to it and a sharp contrast to the wonder of everything else.
I try to appreciate nature daily to take my mind off the incredible evil that is running rampnt as we speak.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison for your lovely comments. I do tend to write
in the old fashioned style as this is my preference, although it may
not be to everyones taste of course. I am pleased you enjoyed
the read, and thank you for taking the time.
Best wishes.
Val x

Andrea on 22-09-2012
Birds Eye View
Yes, I, too, like the style. And agree with Alison about the stanza adding some spice. A blight amongst the tranquillity indeed! Very nicely done.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, and for your time.
Best wishes.
Val

whatacutebum on 22-09-2012
Birds Eye View
This was a very interesting read. Highly enjoyable. Nice one ValDohren πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you, much appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 23-09-2012
Birds Eye View
I echo all of the above as a late-comer. Will hafta look fer ya right away next time to chime in first. πŸ˜‰

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks again Greg - hope you manage to chime in
early tomorrow for two more submissions from me !!
I've a good many more yet, mixture of old and new.
Regards. Val


Lilith (posted on: 21-09-12)
Lilith is a legendary character who is said to have been the wife of Adam before Eve, and unlike Eve she considered herself to be equal to Adam rather than subservient. The story of Lilith can be researched on the internet.

The Garden blossoms well, my dear, As there you wait for me But do not think to take my soul I will not bow to thee And I will sit beyond, my dear (The Dark Moon high above) One hundred buds each day shall die Before I give my love This flower to your call won`t bend Nor will I lie beneath For from the earth, as you, I came I'll wear no bridal wreath The Garden blossoms well, my dear, The mirror calleth me The Other World shall be my home Throughout eternity
Archived comments for Lilith
niece on 21-09-2012
Lilith
Beautifully put...feminism is its ancient format!!!Wikipedia mentions that Lilith was a female demon...enjoyable piece of work...

Regds,
niece

Author's Reply:
Thank you niece for your comment, which is much
appreciated.
Best wishes.
Val

Andrea on 21-09-2012
Lilith
Loved it! Succinct, terse and well to the point πŸ™‚

Here's the WIKI entry for those interested further. Lilith

Very nicely done, Val.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea - the story of Lilith is very interesting;
according to the legend she would not adopt the missionary
position in the sexual act, hence the line in my poem 'Nor will
I lie beneath'.
Regards.
Val

Weefatfella on 22-09-2012
Lilith
Very succinctly put.
In my research for Freedom, I have come across Lilith.
I enjoyed this piece. Very well written I appreciated the Moon as opposed to the Sun. The Moon being her Final choice 'Darkness.'
Thanks for sharing.
Weefatfella.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Weetafella for your comments, and for
taking the time to read my work, very much
appreciated.
Regards,
Val

amman on 22-09-2012
Lilith
I think this is a devil of a good story (excuse the pun, can't help meself)! Seriously, an excellent poem, concise and with an archaic tone and some archaic language (calleth, thee) as befits the subject matter. I like the way you have thematically linked buds, blossoms, flower and wreathe as part of the narrative. Well done indeed.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Amman for your comments, which
I appreciate very much. Pleased you enjoyed
the read.
Regards,
Val

stormwolf on 22-09-2012
Lilith
Loved it! Lillith has often fascinated me. Good for her, that's what I say! πŸ˜‰ and good for you with this super poem.
Alison x.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Alison, and yes. Lilith is my role model too πŸ™‚
Best wishes.
Val x

Texasgreg on 22-09-2012
Lilith
Aye! Can only reiterate what has been said and tell you that I too love the power you give the "weaker sex" in this piece.

Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Texasgreg - "weaker sex " ha !! πŸ™‚
Regards.
Val

Mikeverdi on 27-09-2012
Lilith
Simply brilliant!!

Author's Reply:
Ta very mich Mike - and thank you for taking the time to read my work.
Regards - Val

Pelequin23 on 02-10-2012
Lilith
love it added to my favourates flows beautifully

Author's Reply:
Thank you Pelequin, and for the rating. Much appreciated.
Pleased you have added to your favs also - humbled !
Best wishes.
Val


A Dream (posted on: 17-09-12)
A fantasy poem about how I would like to see the world in the future.

Today I slipped into a dream And saw a better world A world of peace and gentleness Before my eyes unfurled And in my fantasy beheld A vision of mankind All set beneath a bow of fire In glory full enshrined His voice was singing so in tune With all that was around That such a heav`nly melody Did o`er the earth resound And all the hands that owned contempt Were clasped together tight To form a ring of unity - `Twas such a splendid sight Then all the eyes that never saw How wondrous life could be So glinted through the bow of fire - It surely dazzled me For all humanity became As just one beating heart Together joined in harmony Thus no more set apart At night he gazed upon the stars By day towards the sun To mingle with the fruitful earth With all he was at one Then all the trees bowed down in awe All creatures danced and played All flowers spread their petals wide As `neath the sun they swayed (But this was just a wistful dream One that may never be A vision in a saddened heart - `Twas just a fantasy)                                      Today I slipped into a dream And saw a better world Where sixteen billion gemstones flashed Which in her hair were purled
Archived comments for A Dream
Andrea on 17-09-2012
A Dream
And fantasy it is doomed to remain, alas. Really nice, uplifting sentiments, though.

Author's Reply:
Thank you again Andrea. A question - I notice that some poems have a `great read` icon, how is this generated ?

Val

Andrea on 17-09-2012
A Dream
Of course it's always subjective, how can it not be, but there are a number of members with the ability to bestow 'great reads' on submissions. Who they are is a better-kept secret than the ingredients in Guinness, but I do believe they're not only given for near-perfect and gripping reads, but also for progress made in a person's writing.

Hope this helps...

Author's Reply:

Weefatfella on 17-09-2012
A Dream
Lovely flowing verse, a joy to read. thank you for posting.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Weetafella for your much appreciated comment πŸ™‚

stormwolf on 18-09-2012
A Dream
I really enjoyed the poem which swept along with perfect timing.
It IS a dream and it's one that many of us hold in our hearts for humanity. I was left wondering about the last stanza. I loved it but did not quite understand it if that makes sense.
Alison x

Author's Reply:

Texasgreg on 19-09-2012
A Dream
Aye! had the same dream in the 70's. -joke-
kidding aside, I really liked this!

Photobucket.
Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thank you Greg πŸ™‚
Val

amman on 19-09-2012
A Dream
I think this is very clever; quite romantic and almost old fashioned in tone. In fact, quite hymnal. Like the way you have substituted apostrophes for excess syllables. An excellent write.
Regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Amman, much appreciated.
Val

stormwolf on 19-09-2012
A Dream
Congrats on the Nib Val πŸ™‚ Well deserved.
Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison, am surprised but delighted.
Regards.
Val

Ionicus on 20-09-2012
A Dream
Nice, wishful sentiments but for a cynic like me bound to remain a dream.
Amman mentioned that it is old fashioned in tone, I would go further and point out that modern poets no longer use abbreviations like "o`er", "`Twas" (perhaps but not excessively) and "`neath".
Good enough overall to deserve a 'great read' label.


Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 27-09-2012
A Dream
Great read again, I love your work

Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 27-09-2012
A Dream
Great read again, I love your work. sorry I forgot to rate!

Author's Reply:
You are so kind Mike, I appreciate your reviews
very much. Will look out for submissions from you.
Best wishes.
Val


I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry (posted on: 17-09-12)
This poem is about our beloved earth and how we need to take account of how we are treating it.

Whilst standing on a hilltop high I heard the strangest sound It echoed through the valleys And drifted o`er the ground It murmured, wistful, in the stream And whispered through the trees Stilled and lingering in the caves Soft ushered by the breeze I felt a stirring in my breast A pain within my heart Which filled me with great sorrow And tore my soul apart I`m sure I heard the sweet earth cry Within my fettered mind A haunting voice inside me Spoke through these eyes so blind "I`ve cradled every one of you In tenderness, so pure and true Protecting each from pain and strife A beauteous haven for your life" "To nurture you is all I know Helping each to live and grow As kindred souls upon this sphere As one, in peace, and free from fear" "And yet you choose to torture me Destroy my land, defile my sea With hate, and ever growing greed You trample down each tiny seed'' Then as the rain, like tears, spilled down I heard her sad lament Resounding through the universe Such fearful discontent "Oh when will man, with open eyes Behold the splendour in the skies To gently spread a healing hand Across my hurt and ravaged land" "And when will he become the balm To hold my troubled waters calm And soothe my trembling countenance Upon my fields to laugh and dance" This dream, with you, I hold within Sweet earth, for this I know That if we choose to tread this path Then love will cease to grow And step by step, each passing day Will take us surely on Towards the end of glory, and Towards the dying sun
Archived comments for I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
Andrea on 17-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
Couldn't agree more and beautifully and tragically put. Very impressive work, very touching and expressive.

Oh, and welcome to UKA!

Author's Reply:
Thank you Andrea, much appreciated.
Regards.
Val

stormwolf on 17-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
Welcome to Uka πŸ˜‰
Lovely sentiments which are shared by me. The rhythm changed slightly in places but overall a flowing piece.

Alison x

Author's Reply:
Thank you Alison for your comment, and also for your kind welcome.
Best wishes.
Val

Weefatfella on 17-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
Very touching and lilting verse belying the sentiment. thought provoking piece. the avarice of the fat cats feeds itself. as the man said we are all doomed. doomed. Thank you for sharing and welcome to UKA.

Author's Reply:
Thank,you again Weetafella, and also for your welcome message.
Best wishes.
Val

franciman on 17-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
Hi there, and welcome to uKA.

Lyrically this is very good. It sings like a hymn of praise though, maybe because of the Rhyme, certainly because of the rhythm. I think a less measured rhythm might send a starker message. Great effort though.
cheers,
Jim

Author's Reply:
Thanks Jim.
Best wishes
Val. πŸ™‚

Pelequin23 on 18-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
lovelly poem πŸ™‚ good sentiments and message

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comment.
Best wishes.
Val

Texasgreg on 18-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
I`m sure I heard the earth cry, deep -I think that was the sound of stepping on a plastic cup...

Thought you may want a gander at this: http://www.surfingatlas.com/articles/the_2012_dirty_dozen_the_worlds_most_polluted_beaches

Photobucket.
Greg πŸ™‚

Author's Reply:
Thanks Greg.
Val

Corin on 18-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
Well written Val, Sounds like Gaia speaking. The Gaia Theory is a serious scientific idea:-

"Gaia Theory holds that Earth's physical and biological processes are inextricably bound to form a self-regulating system. It is more relevant than ever in light of increasing concerns about global climate change. The Gaian paradigm of Earth as a living system, was first articulated by James Lovelock and Lynn Margulis in the 1970s and has inspired a burgeoning body of researchers working across disciplines that range from physics and biology to philosophy and politics. "

Gaia has a simple answer to such problems - make the species that is causing the problem go extinct! If, as you argue, we carry on doing nothing about it, that is what will happen.

David

Author's Reply:
Extinction of our species is the best thing that could happen in my opinion.
Thanks for your comments David.
Best wishes.
Val

amman on 18-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
An impressive introductory poem. Nice rhythm and rhyming altho' the rhyming structure jumps about a bit. My kind of poetry.
Welcome and regards.

Author's Reply:
Thank you for your comment Amman - this is an old poem of mine, written many years ago. I think my writing has improved since then so please look out for more submissions from me in view of y writing style being to your liking. I shall take a look at yours as soon as I am able - thank you for your welcome.
Best wishes.
Val

Ionicus on 20-09-2012
I`m Sure I Heard The Earth Cry
A good, heart-rending cry about the abuse inflicted on the earth by man and the inevitability of ultimate extinction.
A strong message well delivered. The change in rhyming pattern does not detract from the worth of the poem. Well done.

Author's Reply: