UKArchive ID: 29381Girl Trouble (cont.) by ChairmanWow
Originally published on January 28, 2013 in Fiction    

After trying to escape a bad relationship by fleeing into the far-North, things get really complicated when our hero gets kidnapped by a female Sasquatch and taken to the beautiful, isolated Nahanni wilderness of the Northwest Territories, Canada.

     I thought for sure Queen Kong was gonna bite my face off but instead pressed her forehead against mine for what seemed like minutes and then gently let me down. Felt there was buzzing inside my head, between my ears, couldn't think straight for a little while.

     Q.K. left the pit, returning shortly with a gutted porcupine. My mind was clearing up. I noticed now there were lots of small animal bones scattered in front of a den. Mostly marmot and porcupine. She wasn't a vegetarian but the fact there was no big game and especially no human bones was a relief. She pulled the porcupine apart with expert dexterity, leaving all the quills on the ground, threw half of it not to me but to the grunting, hyperactive wolverine that emerged from the den. They seemed old friends; maybe even worked together as partners. The wolverine walked right up to me sniffing and then, like I was no big deal, went about his business.

     Not knowing what else to do I sat down on a log and started munching on one of my power bars. How far was I from the highway? Dozens of miles certainly. Hundred miles from the closest settlement, the tiny village of Dene Indians called Nahanni Butte. I was in the middle of the Nahanni wilderness for sure. No one knew I was out here. No search party for a long time, maybe ever if the Toyota completely sank in the muskeg.

     I looked Q.K. over again. Her intricate chattering sounded more emotive than informative to be a real language but it was close. What the hell was she? A leftover side branch of the Hominid family tree? Somebody experimenting with human genetics? Who knew. But then something like a movie popped into my head: I saw a large tribal group where all of the adults were killed off by hostile neighbors a thousand generations ago leaving little kids hiding in the forest to grow up without proper language or fire; each generation passing on more and more animalistic traits that helped them stay alive. A new species descended from us Homo sapiens.


     After an hour or so of clearing my head and getting my strength back, I decided it was time to go. Sixteen hours of daylight this time of year up here but it was already half wasted I could tell by where the sun was at. Amazing how fast you can go from terror to shock to something close to Stockholm Syndrome to building rage. She was, after all, just another female trying to trap me, keep me from where I needed to be. I pulled out my .40 caliber Kimber pistol from my sleeping bag, cocked it, and cleared my throat.

     "Look, darling, I know you know what this is. I know I don't have to make any ugly bang-bangs with it to impress you. We're all grown-ups here. I'll just put the whole thing down to you were just rescuing me from an accident, had no malicious kidnapping intent, got a little carried away and carried me away." I threw Q.K. my ball cap with the Arabic name of the public health agency I used to work for, should have gotten rid of it when I left the Mideast anyway. "Something to remember me by. Never met a girl like you before and I'll always remember you." Put my right hand over my heart and said, "Salam alikum." Thought that was a pretty classy kiss-off. Leisurely collected some flares and power bars, stuffed them in my parka but left her the expensive sleeping bag.

     I went straight for the easiest rock wall to climb, put the pistol in my belt and started climbing. Used to do some rock climbing in school. Wasn't too worried about her coming after me. Her expression wasn't anger or fear when I pulled the gun it was more disappointment. Still I did a few quick glances back to make sure she was where I left her.

     Made it to the top and started jogging downhill. Mackenzie Mountains all around, top half snow covered. White specks that were a mountain goat herd moving to my left; I headed straight down to what was certainly the Nahanni River. Might be able to get rescued from a party of late-season whitewater rafters. Rounded a bend around a copse of white spruce and there was the most gorgeous enticing girl I ever met in my life. Red wavy hair that fell about her shoulders, blue eyes that sparkled with intelligence, big smile that came from a generous soul who was not materialistic. Like someone read my mind and put together all the attributes that would make the ideal woman. She waved and I stopped in my tracks.


     "Hi there," the girl said.
     "Hi." I walked up to her and she slid her backpack off of her shoulders and put it on the ground.

     "I'm Abigail," she said.

     "I'm Bre..., I mean As..., I mean Francois."

     "Francois?" Abigail said.

     "Yeah, you can call me Frank. Hey, I don't want to come off like a nutcase out here but I'm trying to get away from a big animal I had a run-in with this morning."

     "You had a run-in with an animal? What did it look like?" Abigail looked bemused.

     "What it was isn't important. Seriously, we have to get out of here. You have a phone that works? A satellite phone or something? Mine got wet when I got dragged through a river. It couldn't get reception out here anyway. We need to call for a rescue, like right now."

     "I don't carry a phone," Abigail said still bemused. "I have a two-way radio back at my cabin."

     "Where's your cabin? Let's get going." I looked at her with my best serious, not-a-crazy-guy expression but she just smiled.

     "It's ten miles away, down by the river." She nodded her head the general direction I was running when I first saw her.

     "I'm telling you we're in danger standing here. We have to get moving!" I almost pulled out my pistol. Started looking around thinking Q.K. might change her mind and come after us. This girl Abigail was starting to tick me off.

     "It must have been pretty scary to get dragged off by a Sasquatch," She said with a straight face.

     "You know what happened to me?"

     "I knew she snatched somebody this morning. I was tracking her carrying something about as heavy as a man."

     "So you know they exist?"

     "I'm a primate behavior doctorate from the University of Toronto," she stated. "I've been studying Sasquatch out here for two summers now. I know your girlfriend very well. She's a great big wild girl, the kind of girl who knows what she wants, but nice as long as you don't try to hurt her."

     "How long has your university known they really exist?" I started walking towards the river. She picked up her backpack again and started walking beside me.

     "A lot of people and governments have known they existed since the Patterson film," Abigail explained. "Hard for there to be legal protection for something that's not quite human. There's enough problem between different types of humans. But there is a bigger problem with letting the world at large know they exist."
     "What would that be?"
     "They have special powers that could be militarily significant. They've evolved some unique abilities. Their nervous system, their brains evolved in a different direction than ours. There are a lot of powerful world players that want to get their hands on a live one. They have to be protected."

     "Like who? What could a military do with a Sasquatch?"
     "The Chinese military, the American defense industry corporations, the Russians, just to name a few. They want the secret of how Sasquatch changes the perception of reality in humans. Anyone that learns that ability will be able to defeat any enemy."

     "Sasquatch can change the perception of reality in humans? That sounds like ESP bullshit. ESP is a pseudoscience. No one has a theory to explain it and no one can validate, reproduce studies that support it."

     "Think about it. Human brains evolved to be good at behaviors other animals don't have, like ah..." Abigail couldn't come up with an example for some reason. Figured she was speaking a little awkwardly because she hadn't seen another human in a long time.

     "Like math," I helped her out. "Controlling fire. Making complex tools."

     "Right. Think about what a human brain is. It's a machine, like a car. Somebody has to drive it. You could say it is a machine built to be used by a ghost. Inside humans there is a conscious ghost and the subconscious ghost. When you sleep your subconscious ghost makes your mind build new realities. Most of the time when you're sleeping those realities seem as real as anything else. You can't tell the difference. Sasquatch has a nervous system that can project out their consciousness to operate a human brain. Under the right conditions they can make you think they are a tree stump, a boulder, another animal like a cougar. Think about how advantageous that would be to an animal competing with humans who use overwhelming technologies like guns and helicopters."

     "It sounds interesting but a little too Jungian for me," I said. "I would have to experience it to believe it."

     Abigail gave a sly smile. She spread her arms and turned in a freedom-loving spin with her eyes closed and her face in the sun then went back to normal walking again.

     "So, do you have a guy back in Toronto or out here with you?" I asked because she was making me smile.

     "No boyfriend. Field research is tough on relationships. How about you Frank? You hooked up with anyone?"

     "Not currently," Looked back one more time to make sure Q.K. wasn't following. Was starting to feel less jumpy. "I have to say that your Sasquatch female friend, even after taking me home against my will, probably treated me better than the last two women in my life."

     "So where were you heading to?" Abigail asked. Clouds were starting to roll down from the mountains.

     "I was driving up from Dawson Creek B.C. trying to get to Yellowknife. Landed a new public heath job there."

     "You could work here with me if want," Abigail said out of the blue. "I could use a partner. You obviously have a connection with the primary female Sasquatch in this valley, can get way closer than she lets me get. We could really gain some valuable knowledge with you interacting with her."

     "Working conditions are a little harsh out here. Aren't you afraid of the grizzlies?" Suddenly a silver gyrfalcon dove out of the sky and hit a ptarmigan that had been invisibly hidden in the bunch-grass just twenty feet in front of us. Abigail ignored it.

     "Grizzlies don't come into this valley. The Sasquatch keep them out."

     "You're not afraid of getting kidnapped by the Sasquatch then?"

     "Only the dominant males are dangerous and they don't live around here most of the year. They travel far and wide, sometimes migrating way down into the States where they scare hillbillies in trailer parks." We both laughed and then she said, "There is one I call Skook who has a family group that passes through. When he does I clear out. Other than that it is pretty safe. So what do you say to my offer? You have a science background, this would be your chance to participate in some research that would make you famous when it finally is released to the public." She stopped, turned and looked me in the eyes.

     "Right now staying anonymous is what my ambition is," I said but she was melting my resistance.

     Abigail reached out and took my hand in her warm hand, "You can stay anonymous then. But I really could use you out here with me."

     That about sealed the deal. I started moving in for the embrace but at that moment an echoing scream rose up so dreadful and piercing it nearly split the sky apart. Instead of jumping into my arms Abigail backed away, a look on her face I had never seen on anyone's face before.

     "It's Skook," she said. "He's here."

(To be continued)




© ChairmanWow (chairmanwow on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 29381
Archived comments for Girl Trouble (cont.)
Weefatfella on 28-01-2013
Girl Trouble (cont.)
Oh My! the husband returns?.
Reads and flows very well.
I'm loving this.
Thank you for sharing; looking forward to the next installment.

Author's Reply:
Yes! the husband returns, but husband to who? Thanks for the comment, Weefatfella.


amman on 30-01-2013
Girl Trouble (cont.)
Ralph.This continuing story is really enjoyable. The writing flows well and just carries one along. Good stuff. More please.

Author's Reply:
Hey Tony,
Glad you are enjoying it. I do think the prose is coming out pretty good on this piece, if i do say so myself. Will get the final written shortly.


Texasgreg on 31-01-2013
Girl Trouble (cont.)
Hehe, Ralph! Aye, your imagination/creativity is marrying up well with your background in science.

Was that roaring coming from daddy who is planning a shotgun wedding fer you and the "tainted" lady Sasquatch?

Greg 🙂

Author's Reply:
Hey Greg, I guess you'll just have to read the final installment to find out. Appreciate your comments Texasbro.