UKArchive



UKArchive ID: 32402Sawney Beane by ChairmanWow
Originally published on March 7, 2014 in Poetry    

1599 Scotland



High tide filled the coastal cave mouth with seawater.
The man waylaid on the road to Edinburgh came to.
All around in the dank grotto flickering candlelight,
sparking pit fire in the middle.
Human arms, legs, and torsos
hanging like sides of beef.
Wooden pickle barrels
filled with God knows what.
Faces of dozens of ragged children
looking down on him
with ravenous countenances. Butcher shop stench.

The man in charge walked
up to the hog-tied prisoner.
He sported a shaggy beard and a malevolent smile.
"Name's Sawney Beane," said the leader
as he sharpened his butcher knife.

"Why are you a clan of blackguard butchers?" the prisoner lashed out.

"It's a political reason," Beane replied. "To my way of thinking,
if a man is born rich that's not fair. But just as true
if a man is born hardworking that's the same as born rich
and also not fair. I was born neither, so this is the way
I make the politics even out."

© ChairmanWow (chairmanwow on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 32402
Archived comments for Sawney Beane
Andrea on 07-03-2014
Sawney Beane
Bloody lovely to see you back, Ralph - how you Beane, so to speak? 🙂

Author's Reply:
Ha-ha Beane doing great, Andrea, cooking up some tasty stuff.

Nomenklatura on 08-03-2014
Sawney Beane
A chilling tale... a bloody lot, the highlanders...
Ewan Beag

Author's Reply:
Ewan, yes, this is one of those legends that got to me when I was a kid. Had to write it out of my system, I guess.

pdemitchell on 09-03-2014
Sawney Beane
A gruesome renditon of a gruesome tale indeed, old bean. Puts me right off MacDonalds I can tell you. mitch

Author's Reply:
Yes, Scottish fast food has a different flavor after you hear this story...

Ionicus on 11-03-2014
Sawney Beane
A blood-curling tale, Ralph, well told. Did you include it in your book 'Man-corn in the promised land'?
I hope you get good sales of your publication. Good luck.

Luigi

Author's Reply:
Yes I did Luigi, but in a different form. Sales started picking up just last month (including England) but now I've found my book is being given away by the same pirates that steal music and movies. Oh well.