UKArchive ID: 25105Fitbin
Originally published on July 16, 2010 in Poetry
This one rhymes and everything. It is a little jaunt of whimsy
Veritrimbles combustulating on the winding way,
singsongly wicked in the merry dance of may.
Veering on a hellbent trip to scorntown, alone,
naughty and notnice celebrating a seed sown.
Never say never, said she, breaking her own rule,
wishing for a dream and waking to find a fool.
Broken hearts, bleeding, a liberal nightmare,
talking aloud just to hear the echoes blare.
Cherries and stones and luscious, green idyll,
kites flying high, dying to live in the middle.
A short break for lunch, to survive the long day,
food for the soul, as the tormented do play.
Poking and pointing, overruling the land,
falling and fading like effervescent sand.
Barbarossa is king, a craven coward's delight,
a demon is born when the brave will not fight.
Archived comments for Love is?
pdemitchell on 16-07-2010
Hi Sir Fit of Bin - whimsy is as whimsy does. It did not go anywhere but travelled well and idyll with middle rhyme got me wanting to add 'tiddle' and 'piddle' for some reason and Veritrimbles got me thinking of Ulster politicians for some other reason... some good lines in here. Mitch
hey there, thanks for feeding back.
I normally avoid rhyming, but I enjoyed experimenting with it and fitting the content to the scheme.
sunken on 16-07-2010
Hello Mr. Fitbin. This puts me in mind of a syrup based pudding. It's both sweet and substantial. I dare say that serving it with custard would add even further to it's appeal. Oh bollocks - I've done it again! I thought I was on Uka-pudding.co.uk
Nice work, fella.
considered tall in japan
ahh good old pudding recipes,
I like a nice bit of spotted dick myself.
Glad you liked it though.
I seem to be more inspired by anguish,
so it was nice to write a happier piece.
cat on 16-07-2010
Lol! I liked the intro...
The tormented do play, don't they. Lot's to like here 🙂
My bestest to ya,
Thanks for commenting,
I was going for a bunch of evocative images rather than a focussed narrative.
But I still like to think there are meanings inherent for the reader to extrapolate.