UKArchive ID: 26605Fitbin
Originally published on August 12, 2011 in Poetry
I started writing this just before all these troubles kicked off
Albion is burning,
Her shining lands pillaged.
Raping the future,
A truth is always the best lie.
Enshrouded by a dead mystery,
Forgetting all of passed time.
Soaring faster than the darkest light,
Never to be confined
Fearing only the limit of imagination
Evolution bound by random chance.
The soul tested by a finite cage,
Salvation always just out of reach.
Rioting just for fun,
Even the drugs don’t work anymore.
The bitch is back again.
Her dripping poison still burns.
Look into forever and see nothing.
The future stops dead.
No-one created God.
Which means no-one can save him.
Archived comments for Dystopia Rising
franciman on 12-08-2011
Stark and brutal but with a wistful quality that doesn't redeem it, but simply soothes the sores. I particularly like the third verse
In my opinion, if this had been a hundred years ago, it would have sparked a revolution which gave the working class a real, and not an imagined equality. The establishment has a lot to answer for, and I'm not sure it is worth saving.
If the test of good poetry is how it makes the reader think, then your's is very good verse.
apologies for not replying sooner,
I moved house and lost track.
So glad you liked it and got something from it.
I want to try and offer an interesting view.
e-griff on 12-08-2011
bit of exaggeration, je crois , still, never mind it's probably valid when you are tagging on a message. I wasn't sure just what that message was to be frank, as I found the poem too non-specific to point mechanical old me in the right direction. However, if Jim is correct, then I'm not sure I agree 🙂
hi, I agree it is vague, I like to play with imagery and words to see what I can evoke.
I often try to express a feeling rather than specific concepts or a narrative.
But I appreciate your feedback and am glad you took the time to read it.
sunken on 14-08-2011
Good to see you around again Mr. Fitbin. Always enjoy your dark passages... That sounds so wrong. One day I'll get the hang of this commenting.
the tip-ex conspiracy
my dark passages do benefit from some illumination,
so many thanks for commenting.
Time continues to fly.
stormwolf on 17-08-2011
It is a very stark glimpse of a grey meachanical landscape to me.
I understand the line "salvation always just out of reach"
God this world is in a right mess!
that is what I try to get across,
a bit of bleakness and fantasy.
Thanks for reading