UKArchive



UKArchive ID: 11117KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words)) by chrisk
Originally published on March 14, 2005 in Fiction

Based on a joke sent to me by my nephew Mohan Poonthottam.




He is a South Indian from Kerala working for a multi national company in Bombay.
Not well educated and he is working as a cleaner.
This Kuttappan he is having a problem, If he hear somebody talks
he will come in between saying that I know that very well I know him very well, like that.
One day Kuttappan’s boss a foreign educated person, he is a North Indian,he was saying something about Arnold schwarzeneger. Kuttappan was passing thru that way suddenly he came in between saying that oh Arnie, he’s my best friend.
Kuttapan’s boss laughed at him saying that how can you be a friend of
Arnold schwarzeneger you are only a South Indian cleaner living in Bombay.
Kuttappan said if u won’t believe it’s your problem I can’t help you.
Okay, boss said I am going on a trip to US next week you come as
my assistant and we will go to Arnold’s house and see what happens.
Kuttappan agreed with a smile.
A week after they landed in US first they went to California, Arnold was there in California they went to meet Arnold. Seeing Kuttappan Arnold ran towards Kuttappan and hugged him asking that hey Kuttappan long time not seen where were you man? Kuttappan went with Arnold to have some coffee.
Boss he stunned. When kuttappan came back boss said, next we
go to Bush’s place lets find out whether you know him or not.
Kuttappan agreed with another smile.
At Bush’s home Bush also did the same as Schwarzeneger asking
that where were you my friend for long time? Kuttappan went to have tea With Bush while the boss was sitting out side the gate of the white house.
When Kuttappan came back boss said I have to go to England to see Prince Charles and Camilla who recently got engaged and they will appear on the Buckingham Palace Balcony along with the queen.
At the palace crowd from all over the world is waiting to see Prince Charles his fiancé and the Queen. Kuttappan and his boss are also there.
Boss asked Kuttappan, do you know Prince Charles. Kuttappan said why not? Boss told Kuttappan that he will not believe this.
Kuttappan asked boss to wait for some time and went inside the crowd.
After 15 minutes Kuttappan came on the balcony along with the queen, Prince Charles and Camilla. Charles was not holding camilla’s hand but Kuttappan’s.
Kuttappan’s boss he became unconsious and fell down. When
Kuttappan came back his boss was on a stretcher by his side nurses and paramedics.
Kuttappan asked Sir, what happened.
Then boss told; Kuttappan you know Arnold I believe, you know George Bush I believe and You know Prince Charles I believe that too but
WHEN U CAME WITH PRINCE CHARLES AT THE BALCONY THE CROWD WERE ASKING WHO IS THAT OLD MAN HOLDING THE HAND OF KUTTAPPAN after hearing that I became unconscious.
LESSON FROM THIS STORY
NEVER EVER UNDER ESTIMATE A SIMPLE SOUTH INDIAN CLEANER FROM KERALA.





© chrisk (chrisk on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 11117
Archived comments for KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
ish on 2005-03-14 10:02:37
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(IN HIS OWN ENGLISH WORDS)
Chrisk
This is funny, laughed my head off. Is this Kerala English? Only one complaint. You shouldn't describe the future monarch as 'old'. What you say about Camilla is not my concern!
Ian

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-03-14 13:41:58
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(IN HIS OWN ENGLISH WORDS)
Ian
Thanks for the nice comments and I apologise on behalf of Kuttappan for describing Charles as'old'.
He said it, not I!
Chrisk

Author's Reply:

soman on 2005-03-15 03:17:14
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(IN HIS OWN ENGLISH WORDS)
by Soman, Tuesday March 15 @0220 GMT

I must say it was an excellent idea to retain K'pan's picturesque lingo. The story would have gone flat
any other way! ..... We Keralites are like that only, no?

Soman

Author's Reply:

Claire on 2005-03-16 19:54:45
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
This is very amusing! It made me laugh a lot too.

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-03-16 20:14:30
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(IN HIS OWN ENGLISH WORDS)
Soman
Thank u for ur kind comments. I don't know how we are managing to communicate with these English speaking 'natives' when we were actually taught English in Malayalam!( the language of Kerala)
chrisk

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-03-16 20:17:37
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
Claire
Thank u. It is pleasing that u laughed and enjoyed this. You see, it started as a silly joke but there was something in it whch touched a very important part of my Kerala anatomy!
Love to u
Chris

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-03-29 11:38:08
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
Exactly what I needed right now, a light, brisk and funny story Chris, made me laugh 🙂

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-03-29 13:18:30
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
Nicoletta
Thank you. Anything to make u happy and cheerful, okay?
Chris

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-04-01 00:54:01
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
Thanks Chris! I'm sending you and Beks nice ouzo caramels by the way, and guess what, many people know Kuttappan the great here in Greece. :^)


Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-04-30 14:38:43
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
Nicoletta
U know something? One of my favourite people is Zorba the Greek in the guise of Anthony Quinn!
Love
Chris

Author's Reply:

brie on 2005-06-21 21:13:29
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
I liked this cross between a story and a sort of joke.
Surely the true moral of Kuttappan has to be never underestimate anybody irrespective of race,creed, religion or standing in life. Rags to riches is always a great story line and we all love 'characters'.... sometimes however we really do meet somebody who 'floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee'.
regards
Brie
Ps I know I am in a minority but I rather like Charles and think Camilla is Ok

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-06-26 19:34:07
Re: KUTTAPPAN THE GREAT(In his own English words))
brie
Sorry bt this delay in responding.
Thank u for ur kind comments. It is a joke, and I thought putting it in writing made it interesting.
Regards
Chrisk

Author's Reply: