UKArchive



UKArchive ID: 13309MISSING FRANKIE by chrisk
Originally published on September 2, 2005 in Non-Fiction

I just wanted to prove to myself that I am not suffering from the 'block'. So I wrote this in fifteen minutes.
All crits welcome as long its not from 'anon'! Lol



MISSING FRANKIE

By C R Krishnan





I am missing Frankie. I must unashamedly admit that. Ever since I moved from Brighton to Hastings I have been missing my long time neighbour who though a pain in my arse, has at times been very entertaining in a rather strange way.

After his trip to Portugal he had been avoiding me. He told all his comrades that I told him to learn Spanish so that he can chat up girls in Portugal. He conveniently forgot to mention that only at the last minute, while I was giving him a lift, he mentioned Algarve,where he was going.

There was something else he did. Having established from me that he can make himself understood to the people in Miami, (I assured him that American is same as English, almost, apart from a few spelling differences) he booked his flight with his friend who had a wife and a young girl aged 18 months.

They duly checked into a self-catering apartment and the couple went out almost immediately leaving the little girl in Frankie’s care. In fact every day the couple went out leaving Frankie in charge of cooking and the kid. They even taught him how to change nappies. When he ran out of nappies he went out to buy some but the local girl could not understand what he was on about. Some other tourist in the shop told him that he has to ask for ‘diapers’. He said that he had been assured by a friend back in UK (meaning me) that the language is the same but only some spellings are wrong in ‘American’! Eventually he asked for the diaper that was too large for the girl and when all the poo and pee started flowing out into the cot later in the flat, he scratched his head, puzzled.

Any way on his return he presented me with a dozen of 8mm films for me to transfer to a VHS tape.

‘Hey Chris, don’t edit anything out mate’

‘But Frankie this is 13 hours of tape!’

‘You see Chris, when my friend and his wife went out I gave them my camcorder so that they can film everything they were seeing’.

‘But Frankie, 13 hours mate, that’s too long, it will take me ages, may be a month to do it’.

Some how he knows my weakness for whisky. He left me and was back with a bottle of the ‘duty free’ Kentucky’whisky’ and assured me that despite the spelling mistake it’s the same as ‘whiskey’. I told him its actually ‘bourbon’, not scotch, and the spelling could be either. He simply shrugged his shoulders.

He told me that he was being very smart. He was left to look after the child and never went out to see the sights.

‘You see Chris mate I didn’t have to go out in the hot sun, these people did all the donkey work for me and every day they came back knackered and also they spent a lot of money eating out. All I have to do now is to take my own time and watch all the sights and places they went to, in the convenience of my sofa and bed’. You see mate, I ain’t just a pretty face, am a “clever” when I want to be’.



You see, I miss Frankie.




















© chrisk (chrisk on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 13309
Archived comments for MISSING FRANKIE
Michel on 2005-09-02 08:01:17
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Really made me laugh

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-09-02 11:16:11
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Michel
I must admit I was not laughing when he gave me those tapes. My revenge is that I liked writing this at his expense. Thanks for appreciating it.
Chrisk

Author's Reply:

thehaven on 2005-09-02 21:57:02
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
This story carries on the magical work of a master writer.

You have got to read FROGS UNDER THE WHEELS
for more brillaint stuff to rival this.

Mike

Author's Reply:

niece on 2005-09-03 09:41:43
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
You are justified in missing Frankie. Who wouldn’t when they had free entertainment at their doorstep regularly? This may be spontaneous, Chrisk, but it is still great stuff!
Regds,niece


Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-09-03 11:00:59
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Mike
Thank u for ur kind comments. I am glad u bought a copy of my book. I bought the other copy!


Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-09-03 11:05:41
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Niece
Thanks. As a matter of fact I drove past my old neighbourhood last night and I suddenly realised I don't miss him anymore!
Chrisk

Author's Reply:

soman on 2005-09-03 19:42:27
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Chrisk,
It seems to me that our characters run on parallel lines, viz misfits and oddventurers. With one small difference. Your friends operate on a much higher plane - i.e. life itself - whilst mine confine themselves to the shallower level of the sports field.

Enjoyable read, as your stories always are.

Soman



Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-09-03 21:24:29
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Soman
I kid you not, but this fella is something. Ian will second the motion as he also knows him thru me!
He, Frankie, is the real hero and I am grateful to him for his contribution to my writing.
Thanks
Chrisk

Author's Reply:

Griffonner on 2005-09-04 12:43:11
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Fifteen minutes! Wow! You would never have guessed.
You were obviosuly using your golden pen again, Chrisk - the one reserved for the use of masters of the art!
Terrific read.

*Amused*
Griffonner

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-09-04 13:07:16
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Griffoner
Thanks a lot friend. I think this was just a fluke. It just happened. I don't think I can do this again!
You know, write in a short time. It is not healthy.
I am flattered mate, very.
Chrisk

Author's Reply:

ish on 2005-09-05 21:55:58
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Chris
Now that you have moved to Hastings what do you do for entertainment?
I'm sorry I only gave you 9, but if you got another 10 you might start to get big headed!
I'm just glad I don't have to go to your old house anymore, because everytime I saw Frankie it was very difficult to say 'hi' without laughing out loud.
Ian

Author's Reply:

Apolloneia on 2005-09-10 11:50:08
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
I can see why you miss Frankie. A good story Chrisk. Cheers. Nic.

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-09-10 14:16:40
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Nicoletta
Nice to hear from you.
Then u always like my stories, don't u? Ya I miss him, Lol.
Love
Chris

Author's Reply:

eddiesolo on 2005-10-07 11:39:53
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Talented bugger 15 minutes!

This is a great write...can I borrow your mind for a while then maybe I may come up with something as good as this!

Enjoyed the read.

Si:-)

Author's Reply:

chrisk on 2005-10-07 12:43:45
Re: MISSING FRANKIE
Si
Thank u, u flatterer!:-)
This was a one off, a fluke. The writing part of my brain growled like a sick lion and is now gone back to sleep, again!
chrisk

Author's Reply: