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UKArchive ID: 36742The Folks Next Door by harry
Originally published on July 22, 2016 in Fiction

Things haven't been the same since the Addams family moved next door.



The Folks Next Door



by Harry Buschman





“Fletcher! You’re going to have to speak to this little dickens of ours. She’s as much yours as she is mine you know.”

He is about to speak ...

“That’s the second cat she’s barbecued this afternoon - it’s that little Addams boy Pugsley next door, you know - he puts ideas in her head ... “Let’s roast some cats,” he said. Then he painted a Swastika, or whatever it is, on her head - just like the one he has on his. His is natural you know. Mrs. Addams told me he was born with it. Can you imagine? She says his dad has one too. His is ... well I don’t want to tell you where she says his is. She’s a strange one, isn’t she? Always in mourning. For what I wonder.”



He is about to speak ...


“The trouble is the kids get along so well together. Have you seen the gallows they built yesterday? That little Pugsley is so clever, I declare. Look at it Fletcher - it’s over there by the clothes dryer. That’s his Uncle Fester hanging from it. Mrs. Addams said he’s stretching his spine - suffers from sciatica she says. There’s something strange about each and every one of them, I swear. Have you seen the father? That look in his eye! His name is Gomez, by the way ... wouldn’t you know? And their butler! My goodness! Mrs. Addams told me he used to be a bodyguard for Arnold Schwarzenegger.”



“Fletcher, you’re not listening to a thing I say! What do you intend doing with this little girl of ours?”

He is about to speak ...

“Maybe I’m being a little snobbish. Fletcher, you don’t think I’m snobbish, do you?”

He is about to speak ...



“Well I’m not, it’s just ... well ... they don’t seem to fit in, do they? I knew something like this would happen when the builder said he was going to subdivide.”

He is about to speak ...

“I never see her at the PTA. They never go out, and they have this big gray dog -- you have seen him, haven’t you Fletcher? I mean you are paying attention aren’t you?”

He is about to speak ...

They let him out at night and he howls. Just sits there and howls – I mean, what does a dog like that have to howl about?”

He is about to speak ...

“Were you about to say something, Fletcher?”


© harry (harry on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 36742
Archived comments for The Folks Next Door
pdemitchell on 24-07-2016
The Folks Next Door
Hi Harry! Tres amusing.. the word never slipping in edgeways... Mitch

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