UKArchive ID: 30949ifyouplease
Originally published on July 29, 2013 in Poetry
Two old women sitting right across the street,
a cracked pavement between two dynastic houses,
in a small town of creaky buildings and large mosquitoes.
I make furtive glances in their direction.
They are knitting table runners, but, for some strange reason,
I feel as if they knit my fate as well. I can almost feel their hands,
calloused and industrious, looping future events of my life.
A tricycle whizzes along the road,
they stop for a moment, checking each other's
progress, then look at me. I blush,
cover my face with my hands
and think of the sea.
Archived comments for Looped childhood
dylan on 29-07-2013
Concise and evocative-you capture the moment well.
Really liked some of your descriptions-
"a cracked pavement between two dynastic houses,
in a small town of creaky buildings, and large mosquitoes"
"I can almost feel their hands,
calloused and industrious, looping future events of my life. "
Why the sea in the last line, I wonder? Is it a symbol of freedom, escape, happier times?
Anyway, a fine poem.
yes a symbol of freedom thanks D.
Ionicus on 01-08-2013
Beautiful writing as always, Nic. Enjoyed this enormously.
thanks Luigi! xx
Zoya on 01-08-2013
Dear ifyou, I really loved the atmosphere it captures and transports you into a world of narrow lanes and dark alley of somewhere, say an Italian town... And the weaving is really symbolic! Old ladies do weave magic into there wares... And yes this does effect your future, as do all childhood memories... A compact piece, as Dylon put it.
Rosco on 12-08-2013
I was 25 when I saw them. I'm still scared. You didn't even use the word black dresses, but I was sure you did. The innocence narrative you do so well. The beginning of internalizing.
no i never used the word black dresses