UKArchive ID: 31024ifyouplease
Originally published on August 9, 2013 in Poetry
When going on vacation in summer
was only for the richer families,
Mother took advantage of the large veranda.
'Now this will be our sea,
put on your swimsuits
and we will have fun together.'
All it took was a hot day,
a hose, and her 'Watch that wave, it's huge.'
or her 'There might be sharks out there!'
and we, like baby seals,
belly-gliding on slabs of wet marble,
slid into the habit of seeing
Archived comments for Looped childhood
Mikeverdi on 09-08-2013
I really like this, it tells a story that I understand; I'm not sure its poetry and I think that you could leave out the words 'her'...but that's just me; I still love it! Mike
i don't think it's prose and i certainly think it looks like a poem, for more than eight years i've been editing this one and it's still work in progress. stanzas will change probably. thanks for your kind remarks, Mike.
stormwolf on 10-08-2013
This one made me feel warm in the heart area. It was full of love for your mother and poignant in its looking back at lost days. I really loved it.
Thanks Alison. I may post one more, it is called the Silver Flash and completes the trilogy Looped Childhood, this Monday.
ValDohren on 11-08-2013
This is lovely - how childhood should be so well expressed.
thanks Val 🙂
Weefatfella on 11-08-2013
We used to get two weeks messages ( Shopping) close the blinds and pretend to the neighbours we were away. Weefatfella.
Andrea on 11-08-2013
Ah yes. How easy it is to 'see other things' when being told to, eh?
hmm, I don't know Andrea. I only know that back then it worked at least once.
Bozzz on 11-08-2013
A great scene, in my book not 'poetry' but delightful heart-warming 'prosetry'. ...thanks for sharing...Bozzz
prosetry - poetry, it depends on what kind of poetry you like - it has something which is special enough to get a nib, comments and three nines so I'm happy. thanks!
Rosco on 12-08-2013
Beautiful to see this veranda poem or a variation of it again.
The imagination is an extraordinary topic. Always has been.
you remember this one? that's amazing. thanks for remembering and commenting. seven comments! wow.