UKArchive



UKArchive ID: 34963In the Corner by prospero
Originally published on June 5, 2015 in Poetry

Another Newcastle and Gateshead Arts Studio ( NAGAS) poem



Look what is in the corner,
It's very dark and furtive.
It crouches down into a small ball.
I think it is me.
It is hiding from something I have done,
Something I am so ashamed of I cannot articulate it.
It has ruined my life
But I don't have the courage
To come out of the corner and face it.
Every night the demons visit me.
I cower in my corner,
I hide from the world.
Then one day a wonderful woman
Confronts me.
I have no choice but to face it.
When I look
There is nothing there.

© prospero (corin on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 34963
Archived comments for In the Corner
gwirionedd on 05-06-2015
In the Corner
Blimey, this is intense.

I hope the day comes when you accept yourself and get better. Depression is a bastard, to put it mildly.


Author's Reply:
Hi Gwirioned,
Yes you are right about the intensity. Fundamentally ot was just a writing exercise in my creative writing therapy group but because of my very low mood at the time it came out like that. There are a lot more like this so gird your loins:-) Basically I suffer from Bipolar Disorder and have a tendency to go up and down. This last depressive episode was very intense and lasted longer than anything I have experienced before. I blame the Psychiatrist really for messing about with my medication and other things. However I have a new psychiatrist now and he seems to have sorted out the depression at least. Whether the Bi-Polar will also stabilise I don’t know. I am feeling quite energetic and creative at the moment anyway. It may be a bad sign but I hope that I have learned something from the recent experience.

Best Wishes

Dave

gwirionedd on 05-06-2015
In the Corner
Do you mind if I ask - Have you always had Bipolar Disorder, or is it a recent development in your life?



Author's Reply:
Hi Gwirionedd,
Looking back I have had bipolar for most of my adult life. It started at about age 18 and this is typical history. I also started writing poetry at that time too. Being creative is also typical as is the experience of having epiphanic experiences. If you read my catalogue you will see what I mean. The poem thjat I think most explains it is ‘ In the Steps of Stout Cortez’ - see http://www.ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=14102&mode=&order=0&thold=0

The highs are clearly very exciting but the depressions are hell as you will see when I post more of the NAGAS poems from my last depressiive period .


Maethforsbye (See http://www.creative-poems.com/poem.php?id=28)

Dave

Coolhermit on 05-06-2015
In the Corner
One day she will be there, Corin 🙂

Author's Reply:
Oh she is here and has been for 48 years:-)

Maytherforsbye, (See

Dave

deadpoet on 06-06-2015
In the Corner
You should never be ashamed Dave. Sometimes we act out of ignorance and powerlessness. We're only human. Release and redemption by way of empathetic people is the way forward. There are very few people on earth who evil without excuse and you are not one of them.

xx Pia xx

Author's Reply:
No Pia,
There are things to be ashamed for. I don’t feel like going into the details right now and anyway you seemed to intimate that you did not really wish to get involved in an any intimate correspondence the last time we wrote each other. As someone said ‘Regrets I've had a few' but not too few to mention:-( Would you argue that any of theseshould not be ashamed of what they did?


Adolf Hitler
Died at 56 (1889-1945)
2


Joseph Stalin
Died at 75 (1878-1953)
3


Mao Zedong
Died at 83 (1893-1976)
4


Benito Mussolini
Died at 62 (1883-1945)
5


Kim Jong-il
Died at 70 (1941-2011)

6


Pol Pot
Died at 73 (1925-1998)
7


Saddam Hussein
Died at 69 (1937-2006)
8


Robert Mugabe
age 91
9


Chiang Kai-shek
Died at 88 (1887-1975)
10


Idi Amin
Died at 78 (1925-2003)
11


Bashar al-Assad
age 50
12


Ferdinand Marcos
Died at 72 (1917-1989)
13


Kim Il-sung
Died at 82 (1912-1994)
14


Francisco Franco
Died at 83 (1892-1975)
15


Ho Chi Minh
Died at 79 (1890-1969)

16


Muammar al-Gaddafi
Died at 69 (1942-2011)
17


Nikita Khrushchev
Died at 77 (1894-1971)
18

Jean-Claude Duvalier
Died at 63 (1951-2014)
19

Augusto Pinochet
Died at 91 (1915-2006)
20


Nicolae Ceaușescu
Died at 71 (1918-1989)
21


Suharto
Died at 87 (1921-2008)
22


François Duvalier
Died at 64 (1907-1971)
23

Perhaps only the determined bastards who are strong enough to climb the greasy pole are infected with the Dictatorship virus, but in my view there are lots of little Hitlers out there:-(

Maetheforsbye

David

gwirionedd on 06-06-2015
In the Corner
I don't think you should be comparing yourself to Stalin or Pol Pot, David. I doubt very much indeed that you have caused the genocide of millions of people. Whatever it is you've done, you're not the same as fucking Hitler!

😉



Author's Reply:
Gwirionedd,
I was not really saying that I have ever been as bad as those buggers, just that there are some things that we should be ashamed of. My actions were quite common or garden faults but nevertheless they caused real pain:-(

Dave