UKArchive ID: 35581City of Sin by prospero
Originally published on October 9, 2015 in Doggerel

Newcastle is a Party City especially on a Friday and Saturday Night. Young folk come from all over to have a Stag or Hen Party in the Town.

Newcastle City was a city of sin,
The ambulance sirens made a hell of a din;
The police that were following right on their trail
Raised an even more deafening wail;
Every street led to crime and disaster;
So the criminals ran faster and faster.

Bouncers stood outside every pub;
MacDonald's burgers were the staple grub;
Beer and shots slid down every throat
Enough booze in the streets to float a boat!
The Hotspur pub was a chemist's shop
Jumping Jack Flash and pills to pop.

The streets were full of bonnie lasses
Dressed to kill and steam up your glasses;
Their legs all went right up to their bums,
Their boobs hung out well over their tums
Blue Tattoos on every inch of skin -
More birds and butterflies are walking in.

Shouts and laughter echo down Bigg Market
Hen parties in pink are the poseurs target.
The police stand around for an iphone pic,
A lipstick kiss keeps them out of the nick;
Pink balloons fly off in the air
The bride is pissed but she does not care.

The boys' Stag parties wore tits and bras
Looking like monsters that come from Mars
The groom was tied to a black bollard
Every girl could see he was really hard
With his pants pulled right down to the ground -
Orgasmic groaning echoed round and round.

The buses stopped when the pubs came out
So the taxi firms had all the clout,
It's fifteen quid just to get back home!
Might as well go for a midnight roam
Across the town Moor, the cows are asleep,
The path's full of dung but the mud's not too deep.

© prospero (corin on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 35581
Archived comments for City of Sin
stormwolf on 09-10-2015
City of Sin
Hi David,

This reminds me of going through the town center with you and Mavis after the theatre, It was just as you described. The women disgustingly drunk and incapable with their boobs hanging out. I do seem to remember your glasses getting steamed up right enough haha

Edinburgh has many hen parties of a similar nature but I never experienced the crowds of semi-naked women till I saw Newcastle on a weekend.

AliSON x

Author's Reply:
Yes - the street scenery is always very attractive in Newcastle on a Friday and S
aturday night.

sweetwater on 10-10-2015
City of Sin
Sounds good to me! I personally have never done this, well one just didn't in the sixties in Guildford shame really 😉 great poem, enjoyed reading about all the fun everybody seemed to be having. Sue.

Author's Reply:
Thankyou Sue - It’s all going on out there right now:-)


gwirionedd on 11-10-2015
City of Sin
"Her legs went right up to her bum"...

My Dad always said that... and I thought he was a stupid cunt.

Blimey, Dave! The north, eh?

You've just reminded me why I'll never live there. Ha ha ha.....

Actually, their women are hard. I remember marvelling in Liverpool how these birds would totter around in the January snow wearing nothing but two handkerchiefs.

Author's Reply:
"Her legs went right up to her bum"… - It was my Uncle Bill who gave me that phrase:-) Perhaps he was a friend of your dad - he lived in Stepney:-)

Yeah - the the same in Newcastlde in Winter:-)