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UKArchive ID: 7130Pay-per-view by thegeeza
Originally published on June 21, 2004 in Poetry

My first effort at a poem.
I had this in my head and wanted to let it out.
Interested to know if it works for anyone.






He screams at every hammer blow,

blood leaking from His wrist.

He talks into the headset,

but the words are lost,

the screen has switched

to flogging Christmas shit.



The camera goes to close up,

there’s tears upon His face.

For extra cash,

you get the chance

to watch it twice a day.



The clouds, they start to darken,

the rain, it starts to fall.

The broadcast stops,

they’ve got enough,

they want to show football.








© thegeeza (thegeeza on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 7130
Archived comments for Pay-per-view
bluepootle on 2004-06-21 03:25:26
Re: Pay-per-view
theres a bluntness to this, short hammering words which give it a power. I'm not sure about the the last line of the first verse - maybe its the swearing which seems out of place, not sure why. I'll be interested to see what others think on that one.

Author's Reply:

Faerie on 2004-06-21 03:36:27
Re: Pay-per-view
i agree wtih bluepootle about the bluntness..
i think this is really impressive for a first effort at poetry..

youre making an interesting commentary here...the first thing that came to mind was 'the passion of the christ'.. i dont know if that was intentional on your part.. but i think i should probably come back to this later.. definitely made me think.

nancy

Author's Reply:

spacegirl on 2004-06-21 05:07:43
Re: Pay-per-view
Wellity, wellity, wellity. The Geeza does poetry. Are you going soft?

I agree, the last line is out of place with the rest. What made you want to write it? It is good, but confused me I thought it was about footy at first, ppv, Hammer blow

Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-21 06:03:55
Re: Pay-per-view
The swearing: anger. The rubbish flogged at that time of year as part of a religious festival that is against the very nature of the event. That's what I tried to say! Perhaps didn't come across?
Thanks for your comment as ever, BP.
Steve.

Author's Reply:

bluepootle on 2004-06-21 06:15:08
Re: Pay-per-view
nope, I got it loud and clear and got the anger too - I don't think the swear word makes the anger communicate, that's all... it almost fogs the points you're making I think. Which is strange, cos usually I'm all for swearing! Just not in this poem, for me.

Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-21 06:21:40
Re: Pay-per-view
I haven't seen that film yet, but it's a similar thing I had in mind.
Thanks, Nancy.
Steve.


Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-21 06:47:30
Re: Pay-per-view
lol - yeah, gone soft and "arty".
You probably associated me with football, saw "hammer", saw the word "football" and ... judged book by its cover? 😉 (hopefully).
As for what made me want to write it? One of my aims for the year and to express my opinions in different ways.
Thanks, Rose.
Steve.



Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-21 06:48:37
Re: Pay-per-view
Thanks, BP. I shall have a think... any suggestions?


Author's Reply:

Claire on 2004-06-21 15:23:32
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It is good to have a dabble in poetry whether you know anything about it or not.

This is very... slap in ya face! It is beyond blunt. It has a hard driving voice in it, which I like. For a first dabble this is pretty good.

Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-21 17:08:39
Re: Pay-per-view
Thanks, Claire. Blunt probably sums me up in a lot of ways!
Steve.


Author's Reply:

flash on 2004-06-21 17:17:49
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And you call me bonkers, here you are joining the darkside...........can you return to the light?

Don't do poetry so i can't offer anything constructive, just saying well done for having a bash, this might be good i but i wouldn't know.

Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-21 17:24:05
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Ta, Flashykins.
The Force was strong on this one.


Author's Reply:

bluepootle on 2004-06-22 07:35:08
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how about a more precise image? give us an example of the xmas shit being flogged to really pinpoint for the reader. will give it a think but hopefully you see what I mean

Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-22 09:54:38
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Gotcha.... agree. I'll have a think. Thanks, BP.

Author's Reply:

Skeeter on 2004-06-22 11:58:57
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I like it, and I like the anger in it, which is almost contempt; because it seems to me anger at the betrayal, or surrender, of values. I think that's an important message, because without value, what is the world except exchange and trivia?

Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-22 14:47:17
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Thanks, Skeets. Pleased it came across because that's exactly what I was trying to say.
Steve.


Author's Reply:

zenbuddhist on 2004-06-24 08:06:29
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fuck sake stevie man have you lost your fuckin mind .......leave the poetry tae the no-mark talentless fucks!!!!!.....*G*.....haha cheersbruvZ

Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-24 10:01:50
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As Spacegirl said, I've gone soft ...
Cheers, Z ...

Author's Reply:

e-griff on 2004-06-24 11:02:30
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thanks a lot, mate. *I* write poetry too, you know. (O sorry: - d'ya ken?) *should I say 'Jimmy' - no, probably too familiar and might incite him*

There's nowt wrong wi' poetry that a night in the byre wi't randy ram cain't fix - Zebediah Chutzpah.

Author's Reply:

Sunken on 2004-06-27 16:29:20
Re: Pay-per-view
Geezer, seriously, stop it with the poetry. I don't need this kinda competition in my life. From never getting picked at games to being 'Pupil most likely to top himself' I've had it hard. My odd success on the Uka forum is the only thing keeping me stable. Do you really want my breakdown on your conscience? Think on (-;

Oh, great poem (I guess)

s n e a k
u
n
k
e
n

Author's Reply:

TheGeeza on 2004-06-27 17:39:45
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lol ... consider me retired. I shall gracefully retire and leave the playground to you.
Ta for comment!

Author's Reply:

Saxonshadow on 13-12-2006
Pay-per-view
I like this piece, I like 'blunt' and 'in yer face' if you follow, if it were mine I would have written it slightly differently but that is me, your final line showed a cruel reality all too often seen, I very much enjoyed,,,, SS

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